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Preview: in a vault underground

in a vault underground

i try to not think about the fact that i have no thoughts

Updated: 2017-08-29T07:28:46.766-07:00




I got an iPhone. So fucking sue me. Still doesn't make me like its inability (sorry, unwillingness) to play Flash or any of the other territorial crap Apple pulls.
In other news, I saw Picasso at SAM for ReMix w/ Phil and Maggie last weekend and had a grand ol' time.

Friends with kids


Phil and I keep trying for kids, but no luck, yet. In the meantime, I get to live vicariously through friends with kids--namely, Risa and Keith's one-year old Saul. I need to be a more fastidious picture-taker and documentarian, but its not old-hat yet. I haven't learned the blend-into-the-background thing--I'll get there. Our most recent outing was the zoo for Halloween. Why haven't I done this every year that I've been in Seattle? Little kids dressed up as animals in a place filled with animals? I wanted to pick each one up and put them in their respective animal bin with a pat on the head and a, "this is your mommy and daddy now." Of course, I didn't do that. Or did I?

The zoo gives pumpkins to different animals throughout the day. I guess the polar bears have a lot of fun with them. The ring-tail lemurs were intrigued by them, and later could be heard fighting over them.


One mom gave me stank-face for takin' a picture of her kid and her. I ask, "Why dress your child up like the food they are giving the animals?" It is a form of child abuse, if you ask me. I would post the pic, but she obviously didn't like me taking the picture. If I know you and you want to see it, I'll send you a link.

RIP Jill Clayburgh


She was always one of those actresses who filled in her roles. Even in ridiculous rom-coms like "It's My Turn." There will never be another like her.

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Word is out


I swear I'm coming back. In the meantime, I urge you to watch the documentary "Word is Out" which is available to stream on Netflix. Its an early queer doc that features someone as beautiful as this:

Still beating the drum


I swear I'll post real soon. Decibel Festival, gay comics, and more coming your way soon! But for now, I go back to work.

If circumstance were different,


Rye Rye and I would be lovers, but she has her world and I have mine. I guess I'll just have to settle for admiring her from a distance. I was convinced that with my decline in going out, I would never get to the rock the dancefloor to this song. DJ Heather brought it out for me. I trainspotted that track, as they say.
Sometimes it just pops into my head, and I think, "What a great track this is!" Well, maybe not with enough punctuation to justify an exclamation point, but you get the idea. Today it popped into my head, and now that she's had her kid and actually out on tour, there's quite a bit of video. This girl knows how to party. M.I.A. should take some lessons.

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For a wonderful take on this newest iteration, Katy B, check out Rich's review. Personally, I got lost a little after Aphrodite and Roni Size, but I guess I'm just showing my age. In fact, I didn't attend last year's Decibel Festival because I thought it was too heavy on the stuff.
(I will be attending this year--there's just too much good happenin'!)

Compare and contrast


I read two books this summer. The first was a post-apocalyptic vampire story titled, "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. The second was an historical fiction by David Mitchell titled, "The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet."Below is text I highlighted from each. The Passage". . . you started to tell a story about who you were, and soon enough the lies were all you had and you became that person.""How surprising death was, how irrevocable and complete, how much itself.""What were the living dead, "Wolgast thought, but a metaphor for the misbegotten march of middle age?""You took their bad ideas and, for whatever reason, made them your own. That was the truth he'd learned on the carousel with Amy, . . . "". . . that was how it felt. So many years gone by--the passage of time itself a kind of marvel. . . ""And it was true: once you knew that the world was a place that swarmed with death, the child you'd been no longer seemed like you at all.""A baby wasn't an idea, as love was an idea. A baby was a fact. It was a being with a mind and a nature, and you could feel about it any way you liked, but a baby wouldn't care. Just by existing it demanded that you believe in a future: the future it would crawl in, walk in, live in. A baby was a piece of time; it was a promise you made that the world made back to you. A baby was the oldest deal there was, to go on living.""This strange new being grew inside you and by the time it was all over, you were someone different, too.""She made them want to remember. She made them want to die."". . . foam of voices."The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet". . . and the shuddering newborn boiled-pink despot howls at Life.""Jacob finds himself as little able to evade the man's gaze as a book can of its own volition, evade the scrutiny of a reader. The silent observer twists his head, like a hunting dog listening to the sound of its prey.""A he-rat, the young man realizes, mounting his she-rat Listening, he becomes enwrapped by memories of women's bodies.""He spews out a dragon of phlegm.""'Loyalty looks simple,' Grote tells him, 'but it ain't.'"". . . professorships kill philosophers."". . . she is on a momentous journey, but she is going nowhere."". . . like a struck tuning fork, Jacob reverberates with the parts and the entirety of Orito, with all the her-ness of her.""To list and name people, he thinks, is to subjugate them."". . . even terror can pale into monotony.""The stream of scholars and sightseers was an antidote to monotony.""The well-oiled bolt slides home.""The scarcity of facts leaves holes where rumors breed.""But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.""His Japanese rendition is streaked with mysticism, but so is the original."". . . solace."". . . the human mind as a loom that weaves disparate threads of belief, memory, and narrative into an entity whose common name is Self, and which sometimes calls itself Perception.""To implant belief, Orito thinks, is to dominate the believers.""'Whatever a man is busy with, that is what, or whom he values.'""'To a believer in Fate,' replies Shuzai, 'it's not you who is involving me.'""The rain's innumerable hooves clatter on the streets and roofs.""The two men listen to the percussion of dripping water.""'A story must move,' Master Chimei opines, 'and misfortune is motion. Contentment is inertia.'""Storytellers are not priests who commune with an ethereal realm but artisans, like dumpling makers, if somewhat slower.""Pictures of the past, and the might-one-day-be. This mind's mind exerts its own will, too, and has its own voice.'""'Better an honest drowning than slow death by hypocrisy, law, or debt.'""West to east, the sky unrolls and rolls its atlas of clouds.""Celibacy is for vegetarians.""'. . . we have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love.'""'. . . a promise is a promise, even in a myth--es[...]

Not my demo


So, I've tried and tried and tried to give Modern Family a chance. I think I've seen a total of 10 episodes and my laugh count is less than that. The situations are stale and the use of the documentary camera is lazy. I find CougarTown to be more amusing.
So will someone please elucidate this show's humor for me? What makes you laugh when you watch it? My parents like the show, but they like According to Jim, King of Queens, and the Raymond show.
The only character I find the least bit intriguing is Manny. The rest are cardboard thin, some bordering on insulting.
Also, how in the world is Nurse Jackie a comedy? Sure, it straddles the line, but I think it favors the serious over the zany.

What's the situation?


Tonight we were watching Jersey Shore, and The Situation was wearing a shirt that I saw in New York. I liked it so much that I took a picture of it.
Seeing him in it made me question my, as Nina Garcia would say, "taste level."
Decide for yourself:


Whipper snappers


This list is sent out to Professors at Beloit college who teach incoming Freshman. They update it every year. It is depressing and funny.1. Few in the class know how to write in cursive.2. Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.3. “Go West, Young College Grad” has always implied “and don’t stop until you get to Asia…and learn Chinese along the way.”4. Al Gore has always been animated.5. Los Angelinos have always been trying to get along.6. Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other blood-suckers at Hemery High.7. “Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.8. With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.9. Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their college classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley Cyrus’s folks on Parents’ Weekend.10. A quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the immigration debate is not a big priority…unless it involves “real” aliens from another planet.11. John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.12. Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry.13. Parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice of a lost generation.14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.15. Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.16. Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.17. Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their Beanie Baby collection.18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.19. They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.20. DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.21. Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.22. Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.23. Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.24. “Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a recording.25. Leno and Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing networks.26. Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides.27. Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.28. They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.29. Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.30. “Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.31. The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a museum.32. Czechoslovakia has never existed.33. Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.34. “Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.35. Once they got through security, going to the airport has always resembled going to the mall.36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.37. Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born, Queen Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”38. Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.39. Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.40. There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.41. American companies have always done business in Vietnam.42. Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.43. Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.44. The domin[...]

A brief post


about the gayness that is Burlesque.
Certainly the gay blogs have been simmering for quite some time about this Cher / Christina Aguilera vehicle, but I dismissed it as something that would be watched on tv on a rainy Saturday afternoon.
However, Phil and I went to see Step Up 3D today (don't judge--A.O. Scott and the Stranger liked it--ok, and I saw the first two) and the trailer was on the reel.
This looks like the type of campy brilliance that Glitter only wished it was (not that I've seen Glitter). Plus, Kristen Bell!

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Old like this


Sure it has over 7 million views, but I hadn't seen it until today.
I hope me and the guy still have this much fun when we're wearing diapers as big as theirs.

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Have a lovely weekend!

I write like


I write like
William Gibson

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I'll take it!

I'd party with you


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OS4 is the devil


When Phil and I went to NYC in April, I purchased iPod Touches for both of us. I researched the market and really the only device out there that did the things I wanted it to was the iPod. I haven't owned an Apple product since my Apple IIe in the 80's. Even though they are puritanical in the applications they allow, it worked well for sending email postcards and checking the subway map.
Now, OS4 is here and it killed Phil's iPod Touch. I haven't even tried to upgrade because it scares me. He no longer has wifi connectivity. Battery life is gone. I've always said that Apple is like paying for a Lexus but getting a Honda. Well, the Honda died, and never shall I shuck out another dollar for an Apple product--even though they are so very pretty.

Where the hell


have I been?
Joss is writing / directing "The Avengers?" I just got chills typing that.

Getting drunk with HGTV


If you need a reason to drink or a way to get drunk quickly, turn on HGTV.

Get two or three bottles of your favorite beer. Turn on International House Hunters. Everytime someone says "nice" take a drink.
You will be blitzed by the time the couple is deciding which house they want.

Grab a bottle of your favorite tequila. Turn on For Rent.
Everytime someone says "out," "sorry," or some other word with an apparent Canadian accent, take a shot.
You will be vomiting shortly.

As with all drinking games, please feel free to create your own rules.

Some kids are ok


The Kids are All Right didn't open here this weekend. That makes me sad. Aren't we a real-enough city? I really, really liked Lisa Cholodenko's first film "High Art" and enjoyed her second film, "Laurel Canyon." I was looking forward to spending at least a couple hours in an air conditioned movie theater . . .
Maybe we'll go see the Joan Rivers doc at the Majestic Bay and swing into Portage Bay Cafe for some breakfast. Normally, I would wait for video on a documentary like that. Since, however, the Majestic Bay is attempting to keep one screen arty, and it is an independent movie theater, I kinda feel like I should go and be supportive.

Another year


Well, my 34th year on the planet has been marked.
The weekend brought James Holden at Neumo's on Saturday and Flammable at Re-Bar on Sunday. I used to go to Re-Bar all the time, but now it is relegated to Sunday nights that I don't have to work. Luckily it was a holiday weekend which also brought two friends from San Francisco. Thanks to Bill for letting us drag him around!!! If you didn't know, Re-Bar's right next to a totally rad lookin' butcher shop.

This morning brought a trip to
Toulouse Petit, courtesy of the most handsome guy I know.
The beignets are amazing. The chicory anglaice is otherworldly. Its so good to have yet another quality breakfast establishment from which to choose. When you're stuck on the graveyard shift, you've gotta know where every bloody mary in town is poured.




Glows like this:


From Kiwi & Pom

Bicycles : Oranges ::


"I don't think about it [his bisexuality] as a part I have to accept," she said. "It's just a part of him like any other husband who loses their socks on the floor or doesn't take the trash out."

Huh? Say wha?

via CNN

I'm hangin' on a hoop, but I'm all right


I was picking out an avocado for some gaucamole to go with the melon-hanbanero salsa I was given at work this morning, when this song came on over the Safeway speakers. I burst into tears, and it felt really good. I've been on that precipice for a couple weeks now, but there hasn't been anything to just get the cry out of me. Leave it to Karen Carpenter to give me that arbitrary catharsis.

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AND HOLY SHIT BERNADETTE PETERS JUST SAID SHE AND ELAINE STRICH ARE GOING TO BE IN 'A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC'. Crap, that really makes me want to fly out to Philly even earlier than we are scheduled to make a detour to see those two broads. Sorry for the aside, but Bernadette is co-hosting Regis and Kelly, so you know I'm watching.



Can't get enough Pretzel M&M's. They may be the death of me.