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ESPN Runs Memphis Grizzlies Puff Piece Written By Guy The Grizzlies Just Hired

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 21:02:00 GMT

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This morning, ESPN published a positive and forward-looking profile of new Memphis Grizzlies head David Fizdale, focusing on his first practice yesterday. It was written by veteran NBA writer and ESPNer Michael Wallace—an awfully strange choice considering that last week Wallace announced that he was becoming a Memphis Grizzlies employee.

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Trump Kids Can't Seem To Figure Out Why Their Shitty Father's Campaign Is So Shitty

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 20:52:00 GMT

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Trump’s getting blasted for sexist comments, mocked for his shoddy debate skills, and losing any edge he might have had in the polls. Something is definitely wrong—Trump’s three eldest children know that much. They just can’t for the life of them seem to figure out why.

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We Couldn’t Come Up With a Better Headline Than This One About a Lady Fucking a Headless Dinosaur

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 19:35:00 GMT

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Here’s what we know: Some three quarters of all plant and animal life on our planet—including all non-avian dinosaurs—were wiped out during a mass-extinction event about 66 million years ago.

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Preorder Amazon's New Alexa-Enabled Fire TV Stick, Get a Bunch of Free Extras

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 17:51:45 GMT

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Amazon just refreshed its Fire TV Stick with a faster processor, 802.11ac Wi-Fi, and most importantly, a voice remote that can now summon Amazon’s excellent Alexa voice assistant in all her glory, in addition to searching for content and apps on your TV.

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These Mammals Are Just Straight-Up Murdering Each Other All The Time

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 19:42:00 GMT

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One of the more disturbing nature documentaries I’ve ever seen shows a dozen chimpanzees punching, kicking, biting a member of their own troupe, chasing him up a tree and leaving him there to slowly die of his wounds over a span of three painful days.

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Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 19:31:00 GMT

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Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:

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Have something you think we should know?

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 18:55:25 GMT

Have something you think we should know? Email us at tips@deadspin.com, or contact our writers directly , or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, or subscribe to our newsletter.

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FIFA's Skill Games Look Just As Fun In Real Life 

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 18:44:00 GMT

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Like many a FIFA player, I’ve slaved for hours on those fun but at times maddening little skill games, spending way too much time trying to get golds on everything for absolutely no real benefit. As entertaining/frustrating as that can be, it appears that playing the skills games in real life is even more fun, as demonstrated by these MLS guys.

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Send Us Your College Roommate Horror Stories

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 17:23:00 GMT

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At the risk of doomsaying like some David Brooksian “kids these days” reactionary luddite, it must be said: College now seems crueler than ever before.

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These Are Your Four Favorite Front Pocket Wallets

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 16:15:00 GMT

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After over 500 comments and countless recommendations, four minimalist front pocket wallets are left standing in this week’s Kinja Co-Op. But which one ultimately fits the bill? See what our readers had to say below, and vote for your favorite wallet at the bottom of the post.

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Oversnatch: The Kotaku Review

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 17:05:00 GMT

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Brazzers’ porn parody of Overwatch, titled Oversnatch, starts strong, but by the end it’s sweaty, spent, and sagging.

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Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 17:04:00 GMT

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As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match.

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Tim Tebow Hit A Home Run On The First Pitch

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 16:45:00 GMT

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Goddammit.

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Trying To Teach Donald Trump To Debate Sounds Like Hell

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 15:55:00 GMT

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According to an article in this morning’s New York Times, Donald Trump’s advisers are hoping to prepare him “more rigorously” for his next showdown with Hillary—or, more to the point, they’re going to try to prepare him. Apparently, teaching Donald Trump to debate as almost as hard as getting an egomaniacal, coked-up toddler with a smartphone to sit still for five seconds. Or exactly as hard. Either way.

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Today's Best Deals: Your Favorite Car Charger, Discounted Food Saver, Dyson V6, and More

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 13:48:00 GMT

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The best price ever on a FoodSaver, a cord-free Dyson, and your favorite car charger lead off Wednesday’s best deals.

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Antonio Brown Says Refs Threatened To Eject Him For Wearing Cool Shoes

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 15:42:00 GMT

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Steelers receiver Antonio Brown has long been one of the few NFL players willing to thumb his nose (or butt, rather ) at the NFL’s joy-killing rules against self expression. It seems like the league has finally had enough of Brown daring to have a good time while playing football, though, as he claims referees threatened to kick him out of Sunday’s game against the Eagles if he didn’t change his shoes.

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Meet the Convicted Cocaine Trafficker Donald Trump Called a 'Credit to the Community'

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 15:17:00 GMT

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Rumors of “cheap speed ” prescriptions and speculation about cocaine use notwithstanding, celebrity real estate developer and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump enjoys a decades-old reputation as a teetotaler. That did not, however, stop him from employing a convicted cocaine trafficker in the 1980s.

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Brandon Belt On His Friend D.J. LeMahieu: "He's A Nice Guy. I Still Want To Punch Him In The Face."

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 14:23:00 GMT

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Giants first baseman Brandon Belt had three hits in his team’s 12-3 demolition of the Colorado Rockies last night, and he would have had four hits if not for the presence of Rockies second baseman D.J. LeMahieu:

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Your Favorite Car Charger Is Down to Its Lowest Price of the Year

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 14:03:33 GMT

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Your favorite USB car charger just happens to be the smallest one you can buy, and you can grab it on Amazon for $8 today with code A2CHARGE (black) or A3CHARGE (white). We’ve seen it go as low as $6 on a few occasions, but this is the best deal we’ve seen in about a year, if it’s been on your wish list.

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This is one hell of an obituary.

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 13:55:00 GMT

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This is one hell of an obituary.

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I'm A Little Over The World Cup Of Hockey, I Think

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 13:28:00 GMT

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The best-of-three finals of the World Cup of Hockey are not over, but the tournament may as well be. Team Europe played well in their 3-1 Game 1 loss to undefeated Team Canada, but despite being a one-goal game for most of the second and well into the third, this one never really felt that much in doubt. This has been Canada’s tournament to win since the beginning, and now that they’re about to, it all feels a little anticlimactic.

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This Discounted FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer Will Pay For Itself

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 12:39:00 GMT

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We’ve all had to throw away leftovers or cuts of meat and cheese that spent a little too much time in the fridge or freezer, but vacuum sealing your foods can keep them safe from freezer burn pretty much indefinitely, and dramatically extend their shelf life everywhere else.

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Mets Players Made It Up To This Lil' Fan After He Took A Foul Ball To The Arm

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 03:40:00 GMT

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Ouch! Cheer up kid, have a signed ball.

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