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Court throws out BT's plans to reduce pension rates

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 13:40:09 GMT

Back to drawing board on £14bn pensions deficit

Plans by BT to cut its huge pension deficit have been thrown out by the High Court. The UK's incumbent telco had wanted to shift the rate used to calculate final salary pension payments.…




Bigger Blue: Tonic for Ginni as IBM actually does OK in storage

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 12:56:05 GMT

Four quarters of growth in a row ain't too shabby

Analysis Diving into IBM's fourth-quarter and full-year results show its storage surge has now run a whole year and possibly pushed Dell EMC into a "Refuse to Lose" channel campaign to regain sales momentum.…




Take a bow, TalkTalk, Post Office, Vodafone! You win most-whinged-about telcos award

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 12:09:04 GMT

Regulator figures show Sky, Tesco users as most content

TalkTalk, Post Office and Vodafone were the most-complained-about telecoms service providers between July and September 2017, according to an Ofcom report released today.…




Digital mortgage service sounds handy, right? Oh, it's through UK.gov's Verify

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 11:22:07 GMT

Keys in hands of highly borkable ID gateway

The UK government is cracking on with plans for a digital mortgage service to be launched this year, which will allow borrowers to sign mortgage deeds online via the Government Digital Service's deeply flawed Verify identity programme.…




Make it rain: NetApp sets up Cloud Infrastructure biz unit

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 10:41:07 GMT

Stuffs portfolio with CI, flash and converged solutions

NetApp is setting up a Cloud Infrastructure business unit, giving it FlexPod, SolidFire and StorageGRID, and hiring a cloud services hotshot to run it.…




Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 10:04:47 GMT

Just put it under the desk along with all the others

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It could get steamy in here. I have stripped off the layers and am now looking to turn up the heat. I’m looking forward to an afternoon of delightful tenderness with plenty of oohs and aahs.…




Delve into the hidden corners of security at CyberThreat18

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:19:10 GMT

New event set to infiltrate QEII

Promo If you are a cybersecurity practitioner who feels on top of the latest developments in your field, CyberThreat18 may make you want to think again.…




You may not be a software company, but that isn't an excuse to lame-out at computering

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:04:40 GMT

If pizza delivery, coffee joints and banks can do it, so can you

I don't begrudge organisations who want us to start calling them "software companies". People are free to do whatever they like with such trivial labels, I guess. But the tick of such labelling has always been an annoyance to me.…




DON'T PANIC... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 08:24:11 GMT

Jeez, get a grip, Sol!

As the Sun ages and sheds mass, the gravitational pull it exerts on its planets weakens.…




User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 08:02:08 GMT

European Commission sysadmin offers us tales of Euro-dunderheads

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, The Register’s weekly reader-contributed tales of facepalm-worthy failures in the field of tech support.…




Have three WINEs this weekend, because WINE 3.0 has landed

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 07:32:05 GMT

Wine Is Not an Emulator Windows-on-POSIX software now handles Windows apps on Android

Version 3.0 of Wine Is Not an Emulator – aka WINE – has arrived, and offers all sorts of new emulation-on-Android possibilities.…




.UK overseer Nominet abandons its own charitable foundation – and why this matters

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 07:02:08 GMT

Non-profit org mutates into investment firm

Special report Nominet, which runs the UK's domain-name registry, has abandoned its own charitable foundation, raising questions about the organization's direction and accountability.…




Baywatch hero drone saves silly struggling swimmers Down Under from going down under

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 06:43:08 GMT

Only tits in this drama were the two kids in trouble

Video Australian politicians are claiming a world first after a drone saved two teenagers from drowning in heavy surf.…




Text bomb, text bomb, you're my text bomb! Naughty HTML freezes Messages, Safari, etc

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 06:19:07 GMT

Apple font code on iOS, macOS knackered by texted link

A specially crafted webpage will knacker Apple's Messages and Safari software on iOS and macOS, allowing miscreants to spread merry mischief by texting fans a link to the dastardly HTML.…




Two things will survive a nuclear holocaust: Cockroaches and crafty URLs like ғасеьоок.com

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 06:03:11 GMT

Pesky phishing pages using international domain names just won't go away

It's been known for a long while that people can use similar-looking non-Roman characters to create internet addresses that look similar to real ones.…




A380 saved as Emirates orders another 20 planes, plus 16 options

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 05:01:07 GMT

Airbus says it’ll keep building the behemoth of the skies into the 2030s

Three days after warning the A380 might not have a future, Airbus says it will likely keep making the plane into the 2030s.…




Nervy nuke-armed nation fires missile with 5,000km range

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 04:15:11 GMT

India can hit all of China now. Or Moscow, Athens, USA’s Indian Ocean navy base ...

India has successfully tested a surface-to-surface ballistic missile.…




Linux's Grsecurity dev team takes blog 'libel' fight to higher court

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 03:27:25 GMT

Meanwhile, Bruce Perens wants his legal bills footed

Open Source Security, Inc., the maker of the Grsecurity Linux kernel patches, suffered a setback last month when San Francisco magistrate judge Laurel Beeler granted a motion by defendant Bruce Perens to dismiss the company's defamation claim, with the proviso that the tossed legal challenge could be amended.…




IBM lifts its 22-quarter shrinking sales curse: Finally, a whole 1% uptick

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 02:25:28 GMT

Big Blue exits five-year skid, shares fall on uncertain future

For 22 quarters in a row, IBM's sales have been shrinking. But not any more. In the final three months of 2017, Big Blue's revenues grew 3.5 per cent compared to year-ago quarter, the first such rise in about six years.…




Goodbye Netscaler, Xen. Hello Citrix SD-WAN, Citrix Desktop, Citrix...

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 01:01:06 GMT

Devs toil away unifying product suites ahead of May rebrand launch

Exclusive Citrix will try to reinvent itself with integrated cloudy products – and ditch some of its long-standing brands in favor of a naming scheme without the Xen badge it has nurtured for years.…




You get a lawsuit! And you get a lawsuit! And you! Now Apple sued over CPU security flaws

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 23:15:09 GMT

iGiant up next in the Meltdown-Spectre-sueball-a-palooza

Add Apple to the list of companies facing a legal backlash in the US over the Spectre and Meltdown CPU security fiasco.…




Plutus Payroll victims asked to explain themselves to receiver

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 22:36:48 GMT

Deloitte trying to figure out who to pay first – or maybe who to pay at all

Contractors left out of pocket by the collapse of alleged tax-skimming scammers Plutus Payroll have been asked to provide copious details of their employment history by receiver Deloitte, which appears to have few details of claimants’ status or relationship to Plutus and its associated companies.…




Sad-sack Anon calling himself 'Mr Cunnilingus' online is busted for DDoSing ex-bosses

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 21:23:48 GMT

Electronics tutor's taunts come back to haunt him

An electronics technician pleaded guilty on Wednesday to orchestrating distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks on a former employer and other organizations – and to unlawfully possessing a firearm as a former felon.…




Sili-spurned Valley! No way, San Jose! Amazon snubs SF Bay Area in search for HQ2 city

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 19:27:55 GMT

Bezos narrows down search for new base to 20 cities, mostly on East Coast

Amazon has trimmed its list of potential cities where it wants to build its second headquarters, dubbed HQ2. The Bezos Bunch says it has narrowed down a list of 238 proposals to 19 US cities and one in Canada.…




Feds charge Barclays trader with fraud in Hewlett-Packard deal

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 18:07:49 GMT

Forex head alleged to have manipulated market in 'front-running' scheme

The former head of foreign currency exchanges at Barclays New York has been charged in the US with devising and executing a "scheme to defraud HP of money and property", according to an indictment entered yesterday.…




DigitalOcean cuts cloud server pricing to stop rivals eating its lunch

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 17:29:11 GMT

Faces up to AWS, Google with future per-second billing plan

Faced with a customer base being lured away by cheaper cloud compute services at its competitors, DigitalOcean has cut prices and increased RAM and SSD storage for its users.…




Home Office admits it sent asylum seeker’s personal info to the state he was fleeing

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 17:03:12 GMT

UK.gov pays £15,500 in damages after failed fact-check

An asylum seeker has won £15,500 from the UK’s Home Office after it blabbed confidential information about his persecution in his home country - to authorities in the state.…




Scumbag who tweeted vulnerable adults' details is hauled into court

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 16:34:09 GMT

Kent bloke 'threatened' privacy watchdog that he'd release more

A man from Kent, England, has been prosecuted under the UK's Data Protection Act for leaking sensitive police information on Twitter.…




Someone is touting a mobile, PC spyware platform called Dark Caracal to governments

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 16:00:12 GMT

Hundreds of gigabytes already slurped, say EFF and Lookout

An investigation by the Electronic Frontier Foundation and security biz Lookout has uncovered Dark Caracal, a surveillance-toolkit-for-hire that has been used to suck huge amounts of data from Android mobiles and Windows desktop PCs around the world.…




F-35 'incomparable' to Harrier jump jet, top test pilot tells El Reg

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 15:27:09 GMT

Naturally we demanded proof – and we got it

Interview What's it like to fly an F-35 fighter jet? We interviewed the chief British test pilot about a uniquely British flying technique – and then had a play with a full cockpit simulator to find out for ourselves.…




DXC confirms veep level shake-up in new world order

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 14:55:08 GMT

CEO thanks execs for service... more than most get

Exclusive DXC Technologies is splitting with exec veep and general manager Mike Nefkens - previously the boss for HPE Enterprise Services before the spin merger with CSC - amid a massive shake-down of the exec line-up.…




Google fuels up Chromecast Wi-Fi flooding fix

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 14:27:11 GMT

It lands today

Google has confirmed plans to issue a patch for Chromecast and Google Home aimed at resolving a traffic flooding problem that was swamping home networks.…




Apple iPhone X: Two weeks in the life of an anxious user

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 14:04:04 GMT

A smartphone that plucks at your heartstrings, not always in a good way

A top-end smartphone isn’t just for Christmas: it’s for 18 months, maybe two years, two-and-a-half at a push. So here at The Reg, we let the stardust settle around Apple's iPhone X launch before putting the product to test in the field for longer than an afternoon. Fanboi squeals written up just after you peel away the cellophane are no use to anyone.…




And Oracle E-biz suite makes 3: Package also vulnerable to exploit used by cryptocurrency miner

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 13:26:13 GMT

Hat trick!

A third Oracle enterprise package has been patched against a crypto-mining exploit.…




M&S extends customer support contract with, er, Capita

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:58:08 GMT

Web chat? On the phone? Online? That'll be UK IT's Mr Nasty you are talking to

Despite ditching other tech suppliers in a consolidation push, Marks & Spencers – purveyor of Brit middle-class dreams – has extended a customer support agreement with everyone's fave outsourcing titan, Capita, for £70m.…




What do voters want? An IRL Maybot? Sure, give that a whirl

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:29:04 GMT

Tory council candidate moots an even more robotic PM – for the 'more personable touch'

A local Tory candidate has suggested the party creates a chatbot to up its digital cred and boost engagement with voters. Its name? Theresa Maybot.…




NHS: Thanks for the free work, Linux nerds, now face our trademark cops

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:01:06 GMT

Devs quit, suggest Britain's health service bosses used them to bag Microsoft deal

The small team behind an ambitious NHoS Linux project are calling it a day, citing receipt of a trademark infringement warning from the UK Department of Health's (DoH) "brand police" as the "final straw."…




Intellectual Property Office drops, er, patently cool cartoon to teach kids about trademarks

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 11:26:56 GMT

Hey, Reg can entertain children. IP freely, anyone, IP freely?

How do you get seven-year-olds interested in intellectual property? Anyway, indeed, why would you want to? No matter, the UK's Intellectual Property Office has launched a cartoon answering the question no one has ever asked.…




The Register Lecture: The Secret Spitfires

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:50:51 GMT

When Britain’s future hung in the balance in 1940, a covert army of men, women and children set to work in network of sheds, garages and bus depots across Britain building desperately needed Supermarine Spitfires for the RAF’s war effort.…




The Register Lecture: Detecting deception

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:50:15 GMT

Billions of pounds are lost annually to lies. As we become more digital and more connected through web, devices and social the reach of liars and the consequences of their actions assume bigger and more personal proportions - compromised bank accounts, stolen personal data and lost intellectual property.…




The Register Lecture: What will drive our cars when the combustion engine dies

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:49:18 GMT

It’s the end of the road for the internal combustion engine, right? Volvo will only make electric and hybrid vehicles after 2019 while Britain, France, Germany and others have pledged to stop the sale of and petrol vehicles during the next 20 years.…




All aboard the Vomit Comet: Not the last train to Essex, but a modded 727 for weightless flight

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:02:07 GMT

All that stands between you and zero g is skill and a rubber duck

Anyone who has grown up watching the antics of Apollo astronauts aboard Skylab or the acrobatics of Shuttle and ISS crews has likely dreamed of experiencing weightlessness. Ideally in a way that doesn't involve either a sickening drop in an elevator or alarming turbulence over the Atlantic.…




How many Routemaster bus seats would it take to fill Wembley Stadium?

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 09:27:13 GMT

Potential Reg Standards Soviet entry? Let's take a closer look

A strong contender has emerged for an addition to The Register Standards Soviet's list of officially approved weights and measures: the Routemaster Fleet.…




VTech fondleslabs for kids 'still vulnerable' despite sanctions

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 09:02:15 GMT

Researchers claim flaws remain more than two years later

New InnoTab child learning devices still have the same security flaw first found by researchers at Pen Test Partners two years ago.…




Former Cisco CEO John Chambers says insects are the new lobsters

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 08:26:14 GMT

Only a venture capitalist could say something like that – but that’s what Chambers is now

Former Cisco CEO John Chambers has launched his very own venture capital firm.…




Mozilla edict: 'Web-accessible' features need 'secure contexts'

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 07:55:11 GMT

If an API or feature needs the 'net, it needs HTTPS under Mozilla's new plan

Mozilla has decided to further locking down the Internet with the announcement that developers can only access new Firefox features from what it calls “secure contexts”.…




Red Hat slams into reverse on CPU fix for Spectre design blunder

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 07:36:11 GMT

Microcode mitigations trigger system wobbles, penguinistas warn

Techies are scratching their heads after Red Hat pulled a CPU microcode update that was supposed to mitigate variant two of the Spectre design flaw in Intel and AMD processors.…




Software that predicts whether crims will break the law again is no better than you or me

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 07:06:06 GMT

Court sentencing tool under the microscope

Software that predicts how likely a criminal will reoffend – and is used by the courts to mete out punishments – is about as smart as a layperson off the street.…




North Korea's finest spent 2017 distributing RATs, wipers, and phish

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 06:30:11 GMT

And sent them mostly to South Korea, naturally

South Korea was the target of a barrage of malware campaigns last year.…




YouTube turns off cash tap for automatic video nasties

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 06:04:13 GMT

Beer money channels that made under $100 a year are also out of the Partner Program

YouTube’s changed its rules to exclude low-traffic channels from its Partner Program, the scheme that sees it share ad revenue with video-makers.…