Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:06:47 +0000
September, 1991. Lake Oswego, OR
JR Ralls is in his junior high social studies class when the teacher tells everyone that they are going to the library. He ties his Air Jordans, grabs his Trapper Keeper, and adjusts his glasses before his fast-growing body lankily exits the room. They’ve never done this before and any change is welcome.
“Jeremy has something he’d like to share with the class,” Ms. Pension cheerily extols.
JR perks up some more. Jeremy is a lot like him: He likes comics, doesn’t like sports, and isn’t very popular. They aren’t exactly friends but they talk to each other now and then. Chances are if Jeremy likes whatever this is, JR will too.
“Remember, like, how we were talking about how humans stopped being Hunter-Gatherers? And began to build towns? Well, this Computer Game [JR can hear the capitalizations] does just that!”
Some of the other students are interested, some aren’t, but JR is fascinated. He watches as Jeremy clicks on a city and decides what his civilization will build. After a few turns, a little man armed with a bow, a Militia, appears, and Jeremy sends him off exploring. The class watches for a few turns, right up until Jeremy gets to partially transform his crude hut into a Palace.
“This game has everything!” JR thinks. “And such amazing graphics!” Christmas is pretty far away, but this year he knows what present he’ll be asking for.
Thu, 20 Oct 2016 09:47:02 +0000
I was given very clear instructions to avoid looking up anything about this game before trying it. I will pass that advice along to you: Under no circumstances should you read this review unless you have played Pony Island. The entire review is intended for people who have played Pony Island, which according to my Friends List is 15 people, also known as thrice my regular readership.
If you have not played Pony Island and still wish to read this review, you will not understand the joke unless you seek out spoilers, so you must decide for yourself if you want to play the game at all, because the experience will not be the same once spoiled.
It’s worth playing, so make sure you deliberate on this decision.
Wed, 19 Oct 2016 03:41:05 +0000
Playstation VR, Overwatch Halloween, Gears of War 4, Refunct, Card Crawl, Guild Of Dungeoneering, Flow Free, Game Trivia With Meebs! Your Emails and More!
Tue, 18 Oct 2016 23:04:52 +0000
When I was in Russia, an elderly lady pressed these faded letters into my hands and wheezed, "My son! His story must be told, even if it is ignominious."
I tried to explain that that wasn't how ignominy works, but she was gone.
Tue, 18 Oct 2016 22:45:21 +0000
Welcome to The Unmarked, an episodic collaborative storytelling RPG made possible by our Patreon subscribers! Join Game Master Rob Daviau as he takes Sean Sands, Shawn Andrich, Karla Andrich, Cory Banks and Julian Murdoch into the small town of Coffeyville, Kansas.
Mon, 17 Oct 2016 10:05:28 +0000
This is a spectacular week if you’re into Battlefield or Civilization, with Battlefield One and Civilization VI coming out.
For me, who has yet to crack the seal on a copy of Civilization III and hasn’t played a Battlefield game since he tried the demo of Bad Company, there’s less to be excited about. I suppose I could retroactively pick Shadow Warrior 2, since it snuck out last week after the list was finalized, but I feel like that would be cheating.
I think I’m going to go with A Quiver of Crows. I love a good dual-stick shooter, and the art style for this one just blows my mind like pshooo phsherreeooouh!
Plus, when else will I get to make a “Murder Simulator” joke like this?! A Quiver of Crows gets my pick for Game of the Week.
Wed, 12 Oct 2016 03:04:41 +0000
Mafia III, Gears of War 4, Forza Horizon 3, Dragon Quest Builders, Aragami, Your Ancient Emails and More!
Mon, 10 Oct 2016 13:36:46 +0000
You’re all expecting me to pick Duke Nukem Forever: 20th Anniversary World Tour, aren’t you? Well, I’m not going to. I probably won’t even buy it. I already own Megaton Edition, and the only thing World Tour offers someone like me is five new levels made by some person I’m supposed to have heard of but haven’t. Even a die-hard Duke apologist like me calls $20 too much to pay for that. Though I won’t say I’ll turn up my nose at it if they pull a BioShock and give me a free copy for owning the previous version.
Instead, I’m going a completely different way. I played the Dragon Quest Builders demo, and it crafted a spot in my heart. For those of you who complained that Minecraft forced you to make your own fun, Dragon Quest Builders takes the tried-and-true voxel-stacking mechanic and wraps it in a story mode with clever writing and adorable graphics. You play as the last person in a post-apocalyptic world who understands crafting, so it’s your job to rebuild civilization. Sure, it’s basically the base-building mechanics of Fallout 4 with a [i]Dragon Quest[i] skin, but they explain things to you instead of making you consult poorly spell-checked wiki entries by people who have more time than you.
Dragon Quest Builders is, far and away, my game of the week
Lets see what else our crafty band of forward thinkers has come up with.
Thu, 06 Oct 2016 09:54:55 +0000
I think I’m beginning to understand what it is I like about hard games.
Spoiler: It ain’t [expletive] repetition.