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Quotes of the Day



Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page



Published: 30 Sep 2016 00:25:01 -0000

Last Build Date: 30 Sep 2016 00:25:01 -0000

 



Henny Youngman

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."



Bruce Barton

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"When you're through changing, you're through."



Frank Leahy

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity."



Malaclypse the Younger

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds."



Mike Myers

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."



Cyril Connolly

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"Those whom the Gods would destroy, they first call promising."



Walt Disney

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."



Mark Twain

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."



Ellen DeGeneres

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."



Howard Dietz

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism."



Mel Brooks

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets."



Mickey Mouse

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

"Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes."