Tue, 13 Jan 2009 1:40:58 ESTOh Boyz 2 Men! Why didn’t you explain to me how to actually SAY GOODBYE rather than just singing about how hard it is to do so?! One final show and one final party to send Ms. Annie off to CA in style…A crazy mess of a show with lots of love both from all of you fans, and FOR all of you fans. Fluff Radio Review is the most fun and rewarding creative project I’ve ever been a part of, and Brooklyn misses Annie something fierce. But don’t cry. Okay…maybe cry a little. We love each and every one of our listeners. Those who made themselves known and those who secretly grinned to our dumb antics on their headphones. Thank you thank you thank you for listening. Hugs, Kisses, Spoons, Farts, and Crafts– Ms. Colleen Ann Felicity Venable, 1/2 of the FFR Musical Guest: A screaming mash-up of various “Fluff Radio House Band” members Tales of Wonder: * The Oracle of Raven * The Real Reasons For the Breakup * The Quest for the Party Foul Song * Goodbye Messages for Annie * We agree to do 1,000,000 more shows, but then there’s a fire and we all die. Yay! Songs: * Earth Annie (read our incoherent lyrics here) * The Party Foul Song Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “I’m responsible for helping get the internet to canada…one long pipe made out of straws.” * “We fluffed for years, drank many beers, and talked of our fart, fart-y-ness.” * “Keep that banana-pajamed.” * “Lookout california because I like to spoon, too.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sun, 2 Nov 2008 1:40:58 ESTNearly a year after show 66 was recorded, it has at last been edited, polished up, and prepared for your consumption. Will it be worth the wait? The only way to find out is to listen. I’m not saying Jimmy Hoffa is inside, but I am saying that it’s better than that time Geraldo opened his alleged tomb on live television. Musical Guest: The Fluff Radio House Band Tales of Wonder: Poopin’ at the Dentist Make Your Own Dolphin World’s Coolest Drumsticks Sock Lobster! Martial Arts Secret Weapon: The Blossom Attack! Songs: The Garbage Man Six Degrees of Johnny Depp (actually it’s more of a game than a song!) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: “Dolphin bits inside as a little bonus!” “I wish Flickr was actually called Flickr-Booger” “You can have a party and give everyone a shaker egg, and everyone will have a good time.” “Pregnancy test is my second favorite type of beer.” “Whenever you need me, just shake, and I’ll be there.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sun, 2 Nov 2008 1:40:58 ESThttp://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Fri, 1 Feb 2008 1:40:58 ESTIn the time of ancient Gods, Warlords and Kings, a land in turmoil cried out for some humor. They were Annie and Colleen, mighty Princesses forged in the heat of Brooklyn. Their comedy would change the world! Musical Guest: The Puppini Sisters performing “Heart of Glass” and “Wuthering Heights” Tales of Wonder: * Period Weaponry - and we’re not talking Renaissance. * Ear, Nose, and Throat Singing * Bananaphone! * Denim Forensics * How to Play the Mouth Harp, with Mikey IQ Jones Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “Use your period for Good!” * “The squiiiid! SQUUIIIIIIIID!!!” * “I’ve got two useless bananas!” * “Knock knock, who’s there, trick or treat, bananaphone.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Thur, 20 Dec 2007 1:40:58 ESTBring on the live Violin! The amazing Not Waving But Drowning joins us in the studio for this week’s episode. A band filled with celebrities: Pinky: The Proud Former Owner of Pantyliner.com; John: Wanted in Three States for Swing-Related Acts of Violence; Jeremy: A Man of Many Many Words (all of them Brilliant…and siilent); and Sir Mason Brown, whom you’ve all met before. Together they form one of the most original bands this here city has seen in a long long time. Join us to dance along to live (in my apartment) performances of the happiest domestic violence song in the world and join in the search for Annie Sanders! Put on your speedo and get ready. This ones a good one! Musical Guest: Not Waving But Drowning performing “Let’s Go Dancing” and “Maypole” Tales of Wonder: * Turfinchin’: The Tasty Thanksgiving Finch * Where in the World is (octave drop) Annie Saaanders * I’llfuckinghookyouup.com * Naming the Band * Filters That Photoshop Should Make Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “Annie Sanders, Attorney at Blood…Stuff.” * “DrunkenDaredevilCaterers dot com?” * “One time I was wearing a douche bag and I forgot to take it off when I peed out the window.” * “There’s this special photoshop Speedo filter, press this button and everyone in your picture will be wearing a speedo.”> * “You guys are going to have a droll off soon.” * “I would get a phd at the School of Light FM” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sun, 2 Dec 2007 1:40:58 ESTDo you have a sense of direction about as good a dead seal’s? Well, you’re in luck! Introducing the FLUFF GPS system! We’ll get you there or at least within 50 miles of where you wanted to go. And we won’t ramble on and on about when to make rights and lefts, but will tell you the REALLY important things like spots we once got mugged and the best delis to buy 10 year old twinkees. Fluff GPS WE MAKEA YOUR DREEEEAMS COME TRUE! Musical Guest: Luke Temple performing “Saturday People” and “People Do” Tales of Wonder: * GPS AKT BEAN Crime Edition * Smashing Pumpkins (with Catapults) * The Age Old Question of the Aged Old Twinkies * Halloween Sexiness 2008 Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “You have now reached the center of Ovid.” * “I’m a toaster but I’m a SEEEEEXY toaster.” * “I’m a little dubious about the Fantastic Mr. Orgasmic or was it the Emporium Spazmorium?” * “Moral of the story kids, wash your hands at least once every three days.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Thu, 1 Nov 2007 10:40:58 ESTIt’s time to fold up your beard and put away your flannel for another year, but we hope everyone had a great Lumberjack Day. In preparation for next year, we reveal an amazing secret that is SO secret that the government probably doesn’t want you to know about it! And I’m not talking about Children of the Unicorn, although the government probably doesn’t want you to know about them either, because if the awesomosity of their sonic vibrations hit the public at large, the world would probably implode with sexy coolness. Musical Guest: Children of the Unicorn performing “Night Shark” and “A Girl Like You” Tales of Wonder: Lumberjack Day Recap Spontaneous Citizen’s Arrests Colleen vs the Peach Martini Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: “A Gentleman NEVER has tea before four!” “Magellan’s where it’s at!” “Most people have b.o… I have p.o.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Tue, 25 Sep 2007 10:40:58 ESTIf you make it past the opening of this bad-boy you win yourself a big ol’ plate of pancakes! In celebration of the 3rd Annual Lumberjack Day this week’s show is co-hosted by a few actual lumberjacks, a real Canadian, and a narcoleptic. It’s filled to the brim with sweet, sweet, syrup and Pine Puns you can’t help but feel the urge to break out your Pearl Jam Flannels and chop sum-thing down! Want to know more about how to celebrate Lumberjack Day? Well go to just go to the incredibly easy to remember website: www.lumberjackdaydotcomwastaken.com (I still argue that domain is the best $6 I ever spent…) When you celebrate be sure to write about it on the Fluff Forum. Bonus Points for making edible Panfaces just like Marianne (one of the holiday’s creators always does! Mmmm Panfaces. Musical Guest: The Virgins performing “Rich Girl” and “Radio Christiane” Tales of Wonder: Unskipable Ipod Songs Lumberjack Day Annie Knows More about Alanis Than Any Human Being (who is not Alanis) Should The Book of the Internet Death of a Cow in a Can Sketches: The Top Ten Reasons To Be A Lumberjack Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: “I feeeeel it. I feel it in my cankles.” “A Tree Grew In Brooklyn and I Cut that Shit Down. That was the name of the sequel. I don’t know why it didn’t sell.” “My first screenname was Asstastic-Quilt-Pro. http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Tue, 11 Sep 2007 10:40:58 ESTWell, it’s official… Fluff Radio is starting to get some gray hairs. That’s right, we’ve finally reached show number sixty. We are officially at Denny’s, eating dinner at 5pm, and getting ready to head over to bingo next. Don’t worry, though, fair listener. We won’t get too comfortable in our old age. In fact, I feel a late mid-life crisis coming on… yeah, screw bingo! And screw you, Moon Over My Hammy! We’re outta here! We’re gonna go buy ourselves a Mustang, CONVERTIBLE! And then we’re gonna drive on down to Mexico for some margaritas, top down, tops off, and saggy boobies flapping in the wind! Happy 60th, mutha-fluffa! Towandaaaaa!! Musical Guest: The Devil Makes Three performing “Old No. 7″ and “Graveyard” Tales of Wonder: * Colleen gets a tattoo! * Skymall Madness, round 2! * Extreme Hot Air Ballooning! Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “The last girl that passed out on my table, she peed!” * “Basically, it’s for the golf-loving, skeezeball, dishonest person in your life.” * “Wheels may be disassembled in case of extreme frustration.” * “I ain’t never gonna dance again, unless it’s to that song.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Tue, 28 Aug 2007 10:40:58 ESTWith the summer drawing to a close Annie and Colleen bring you some festive music, tales of whoooa, and juggling with clubs. First it was the Super Secret Lair. Then it was the Cloud Fortress. There’s a new recording studio in town (*cough borough*), and it’s painted all sorts of ugly colors! Call us to give the new studio a name, or to just say hi, or to freestyle rap about why you think blenders really DO need a “nudge” setting. 3 plus 4 equals 7, 22-Fluff! Musical Guest: Why Are We Building Such A Big Ship? performing “Firefly” and “Dance…” Tales of Wonder: * Friendly Driving Techniques * How to Make a (Terrifying) Baby * Blender Settings Confuse Annie * Can you start a sentence with “Why” and make it a statement? Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “I know what you did last interstate.” * “It’s like someone stuck them in a blender and hit ‘blender-ate’.” * “I really want to collect people on the street and then spend my entire salary on fake babies.” * “He looked like Mayor McCheese in Cop-drag.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sat, 4 Aug 2007 10:40:58 ESTBehold, Listeners, the latest installment of our gripping saga! This week, our swashbuckling heroes Colleen and Annie are on a quest for adventure! Not since the likes of Indiana Jones has anyone seen such daring and courage! Beware, Listeners, for danger lurks around every corner! Prepare to grip your seats as our heroes down entire packets of Pop Rocks at once! Nibble nervously at your nails as they brave the dangers of the Wartner! And shiver with terror as Annie recounts her most recent brush with Death… and bureaucracy! Musical Guest: Peacock’s Penny Arcade performing “I Left My Bra in Mississippi” and “Boots” Tales of Wonder: * Annie and the Runaway Appendix * Get to Know Peacock’s Penny Arcade (aka Colleen and Annie never learned to read) * Two Bags Full of Popping Death * Chip Slogan Work Rather Well for Warts (and Wartner) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “The sonogram needs it’s beauty sleep.” * “He’s the product of a prude line of dutch burgers.” * “Some witch doctor in the sticks in Louisiana is probably using it right not to cure somebody’s inability to conceive.” “And they give birth to an appendix.” * “I look like a ninja mime.” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sun, 8 Jul 2007 10:40:58 ESTWith only 12 days remaining until the final book, Annie and Colleen seem unable to think about ANYTHING other than Harry Potter…and David Hasslehoff, and candy dots, and celebrity fund-raisers, and that weird bunny-bird on the Pocky for “MEN” package, and the fact that there’s Pocky FOR MEN, and whether or not they got mr. ed to talk using peanut butter or other persuasive methods…um…yeah but it is mostly all about the Potter. Joined by music from super-awesome Harry and the Potters, The-Show-That-Must-Not-Be-Named must not be ignored. Musical Guest: Harry and the Potters performing “The Hogwarts Tonsil Hockey Team” and “Voldemort Can’t Stop The Rock” Tales of Wonder: * Don’t Hassle the Hoff * Surviving Company Picnics * VOTE! Is Harry Going to DIIIIIE? * The Real Meaning of “The Deathly Hallows” Impromptu Songs: * Voldemort is Just Misunderstood * Hermione Grainer (is Really the Hero) * Nobody Likes Harry Potter * Harry’s Evil Twin * BONUS Medley of a bunch of them! Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * “Don’t let that bra be a Hassle. OFF!” * “Well, either they have to have evil leg hair, or pit hair, or chest hair.” * “Squirrel your best friend!” * “And the precursor to the Harry Pooper is Lord Voldefart.” * “Snape, Snape, he’s got a cape. I hope he doesn’t like to WHAT!” http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com for more!
Sun, 8 Jul 2007 10:40:58 ESTCollection of badly improvised songs from Colleen and Annie which appear in Show #57: The-Show-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, all inspired by Harry Potter, Harry and the Potters, and Harry Potter Book 7. You can download the songs individually on http://www.fluffinbrooklyn.com/fluffradio
Fri, 4 May 2007 05:40:58 ESTMissed Connection: Our Eyes Met on the F-Train-- dm4lw* Our eyes met as we pulled up to the Jay Street/Borough Hall stop, yours a crystal blue, mine a slightly glowing red. If I still had a heart I bet it would have burst out of my chest and hit you smack in yours. Please don't think me sexist when I tell you that I was drooling just looking at you. It's not just your body I fell for, I could just tell you had a wonderful braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain... But then you ran off, kicking a part of me out of your life and out of the train doors. (Maybe you hadn't noticed that my hand had just fallen off.) I'll love you always and forever. Or at least until I meet a woman who can't run as fast. *dead male for live woman Musical Guest: The Unbearables performing "Zombies, Unite!" and "Maybe Just One Bite" from their amazing Zombie Rock Opera: JUST ONE BITE Tales of Wonder: The Fan Mail Bag (with a letter from Rob Pernermurdder!) Office Ghosts Murderous and Murdering Finches Alyssa, Annie, and Colleen Solve Homelessness and Cure No-Sense-Of-Direction Disease Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: "Dear girl in the office that curses at her computer a lot...I'm the ghost...Boo." "Notice anything different?" "Oh, you mean the dead baby?" "Her laaaAAaady fingers."
Wed, 18 Apr 2007 05:40:58 ESTAhh, Spring arrives in Brooklyn! Annie and Colleen shuffle off their winter coccoons. spread their newlyformed wings in the buttery air, and dance the wobbly boogie of the baby foal! What, after all, could be more appropriate for the season of reproduction than a show chock-full of uterus jokes? This week Annie and Colleen also feature the seductive musical stylings of Luminescent Orchestrii! (this week's RUUUUN YETTI! promo pic is by the amazing Ben!) Musical Guest: Luminescent Orchestrii performing "Amaritsi" and "Knockin" Tales of Wonder: * Staple recap * The Tamponator! * Backwards doorknobs * Colleen joins Cirque de Subway Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Ahh, nothin like uterine breath in the morning!" * "Pads with wings! *flap flap flap*" * "They're on the other side of the Perogi Curtain!"
Tue, 20 Mar 2007 05:40:58 ESTAnnie and Colleen (and Mikey) return but they are not alone...dunt dunt dunnnnn! The Fluff Studio has been taken over by the ghosts of Jerry Lewis and Meshach Taylor not to mention the huge bunch of trained murderous/singing birds. *audible gasp!* How will our heroes survive? Thankfully crimefighters/music band My Teenage Stride is there to save them! Join them as they battle their way through a dreaded "Jazz Brunch" to teach all of you just how to survive and, ya know, avoid using real bathrooms and stuff. Musical and Studio Guest: My Teenage Stride performing "To Live and Die in the Airport Lounge" and "Golden Bats" Tales of Wonder: * Helpful Tips on Ways to Insert "Meshach Taylor" into Conversations * Pee Confessions * Llamas and their love of Shrimp Popcorn * Jerry Lewis: Demon-on-ic Force * My Teenage Russian or Communist Jacket Walk: Discussing Band Names Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Betamax 1883: We're Sturdy as a Tophat." * "You know I used to think it remarkable that at night you never left your room...but no you're peeing out the window." * "This f'ing stegasaurus was all up in my grill!" * "Senator, you're no Jazz Brunch."
Thu, 22 Feb 2007 11:40:58 ESTSurprisingly, there are some things in the world so disturbing that even Annie and Colleen can't make them up. But don't worry, noble fans...there are still a whole lot of disturbing things that they DO make. At least now they can blame it on the puppy... Musical Guest: Ultraviolet performing "Gimme My Electro" and "Dead on the Dancefloor" Tales of Wonder: * Superhero Phone * A Detailed Map of the Canadian Interstate System * The Donut Burgers! * Annie Can See the Future (she's just bad at psychic testing) * Signs of a good allergist Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Yes, I know there is an enormous bunny rampaging the town. *click*" * "He used to fart on me and now he farts on tv, or maybe he doesn't, now he clenches." * "If you can't imagine the "pineapple pants" I am imagining you're missing out."
Mon, 05 Feb 2007 15:26:58 ESTIf there's one thing you learn from this week's show (other than how to really confuse a puppy) is that the only thing more fun than walking on clouds is walking on clouds with your feet cut off. Welcome to the Fortress. Bring your elephants and goats and stay a while. Musical Guest: The Teeth performing "Oh, Bessie!" and "So Long" Impromptu Songs: * Cheesy Lady * The Lonely Goat Tales of Wonder: * The Anti-climactic Nosegasm (Sorry for the crappy quality of Colleen's voice in this one. Her left nostril apologizes profusely.) * First Recording in the Cloud Fortress * Annie's Elephant in the Closet Joke * Koosh Balls of Danger * The "Colleen wants to cut off her feet and buy prosthetic feet" Fund Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Instead of her fondling her possessions, for once she's looking at mine." * "Wanger sounds like the dirty section of the airport." * "Captain Hook. He's like a book. Boobs. Boobs. Boobs."
Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:26:58 ESTDear Swiss Cheese, I am writing you today because there is something I must ask of you. Now, I know that you and I have had our differences in the past. We haven't always gotten along. In fact, of all the cheeses, you just happen to be my very least favorite, with your awkward holes and your mildly nutty flavor. So, you can imagine how difficult it is for me today to swallow my pride and ask of you a favor. You see, Swiss Cheese... I love my Ham. No, I mean, like, I REALLY love it... and lately, I've been getting this vibe from you that you might be trying to come between me and my Ham. Truth be told, Swiss Cheese, I just don't know if I can compete. If push came to shove, I don't know for sure if my Ham would pick you over me. I couldn't take it, Swissy, I just couldn't TAKE it if my Ham were to leave me! I'd die inside! Living a life without it's salty meatiness... bologna would just never suffice. So please, Swiss Cheese... I'm begging of you... please don't take my Ham. Sincerely, Annie Musical Guest: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes performing "Jolene" and "End of the Road" Impromptu Songs: * Swiss Cheese * Danny's Song, as sung by Abe Lincoln and Jimmy AF Venable (deleted from actual show due to terrifyingness) Tales of Wonder: * Annie and Colleen share their families' favorite traditional ways to stuff themselves silly during the holidays * The PARROT BAG! * The Cranberries' "Linger"- true meaning exposed! * Cool new fan art! Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Matchmaker, matchmaker give me a Mikey Give him big hair, make it all spikey!" * "Even though your nose is runny, I'm so in love with ya honey..." * "That's a great way to start your Christmas... with clam gas."
Fri, 15 Dec 2006 15:26:58 ESTGrab your Depends and your tambourine! This is our longest and most bizarre episode to date! Edited down from almost four hours of show, #50 is a crazy hooooootenany celebration of being friggin' old and AARPy. Hear the winning roast by Sir Bob! Sing along to Songs by George Washington! Determine the future of Mason Brown's sex life! All this and more in this week's episode of Fluff Radio Review! Musical Guest: Fluff Radio House Band! (featuring Mason Brown, Mikey IQ Jones, Eric Skiff, Marianne Ways, Anya Garrett, Nick Simone, Eric Cohen, Meghan Daly, Robin Enrico, Klio, Emilie, Martha, as well as Colleen "I Moderately Enjoy Bingo" Venable, Annie "Crazy Old Man" Sanders) Impromptu Songs: * Carelessly Whispering * Faith * Add it Up Tales of Wonder: * The Saga of the Missing Co-Host * Charleston Fingers and Presidental Impressions * Did Rockapella know where Carmen was? * Colleen and Anya Advocate for Legal Marriages for Men to Women * Hootenany! * The (kinda) Sober People Ramble After Everyone Passes Out Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "My drink tastes like bug spray!" "Are you complaining?!" "No, I like it." * "If there were an earthquake her head would be in a proper place to survive." * "Garfield? Which one, the whiskers or the beard?" * "That guy from Lord of the Dance insured his legs for like a million dollars, but he didn't insure his head and if you hit him hard enough in the head his legs won't work."
Fri, 15 Dec 2006 15:25:58 ESTA Fluff Radio Band cover of Gordan Gano's Classic Violent Femmes diddy. (featuring Mason Brown, Mikey IQ Jones, Eric Skiff, Marianne Ways, Anya Garrett, Nick Simone, Eric Cohen, Meghan Daly, Robin Enrico, Klio, Emilie, Martha, as well as Colleen "I Moderately Enjoy Bingo" Venable, Annie "Crazy Old Man" Sanders)
Wed, 22 Nov 2006 15:25:58 ESTWith Thanksgiving here, and Christmas just around the bend (by which I mean Dead Man's Curve), Annie and Colleen have been participating in a lot of "good cheer"! After all, nothing says "winter solstice" like a party dedicated entirely to the shininess of the color silver! So take a break from the relatives. Grab yourself a cup o' kindness and a cozy can of cranberry sauce, and cuddle up to the dulcet tones of this week's musical guest, Nouvelle Vague. Oh yeah and the ROAST US contest isn't over yet! Send your best roast to 775-416-5492. Musical Guest: Nouvelle Vague performing "Ever Fallen In Love" and "Sweet and Tender Hooligan" Tales of Wonder: * Relationship Fart Alert Levels Acronyms * Silver Party Recap * Alyssa cuts a hair! * Show 50 Ramp up Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Does Alyssa know that I have underwear everywhere? It was an explosion of my panties!" * "It's terrifying because the one girl's nostrils are floating separately for awhile until they find eachother, and they join together again, in harmony, on her nose." * "I won [a war with China]! China forfeited by not answering my emails subject "Re: War With You". "
Mon, 06 Nov 2006 15:25:58 ESTWelcome to our first ever Interactive-nipple Cast! To control the outcome out this podcast simply press your designated nipples when we ask you specific questions. Also ! This is the first episode that Annie and Colleen hula-hoop through the entire thing! Mikey IQ Jones is the reluctant judge! Who will hoop longer? Will Colleen ever finish that Pop Tart? Did Annie REALLY just sing that thing about Jesus? Tune in (with your nipples) to this week's episode to find out why this sentence ends with a question mark? Don't forget! The ROAST US contest is still now going on. Send your best roast to 775-416-5492. Find out what the best roaster wins by listening to this amazing (ly hyper) episode! Musical Guest: Bitch performing "Almost to the Water" and "Drag King Bar" Tales of Wonder: * Light-Up Piano Football * The PPP and Pee * Annie "Auditory Juggles" an Egg, a Cow, a Giraffe, and some sharp objects * Halloween Recap * Interactive Choose Your Own Adventure Song (only works if you have nipples) Impromptu Songs: * Crevises * Covers of Songs with A Mouthful of Poptarts * Roast Us * The Lord Entered My Body Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "There's a force field around the door of urine-grabbin." * "He's lucky he's a boy. If he was a girl his tampon would probably shoot out." * "That was my political piece on obesity in america, so power to the people that don't obese."ly modified cows to do his bidding." * "It's the dreaded ax moth!"
Mon, 06 Nov 2006 15:25:58 ESTImprovised Song from Fluff Radio Review #48: Nipple-Controlled Choose Your Own Adventure
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 23:25:58 ESTLook! Up in the sky! It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's Mothra! EEP! This week, Annie and Colleen are attacked late in the night by various wayward buggies, but don't you worry, Annie Sanders: Fly Assassin has her trusty chopsticks handy! Plus! A review of the new Bob "isn't dead yet" Dylan musical by Colleen (you know you've been dying to see it), a new Fluff fan challenge, and two songs by HUMANWINE (whose songs will certainly warrant a spot on that Halloween party playlist you've been working on all week). Musical Guest: HUMANWINE performing "Rivolta Silenziosa" and "Script Language" Tales of Wonder: * A visit from Mothra! * Colleen's has a new favorite annoying noise. Can you guess what it is? * Why it's useful to be able to recognize the back of Twyla Tharp’s head * How to give a machine a stomach-ache Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Am I gonna murder something on air?" * "Jeff Goldblum was flying around our apartment..." * "Instead of ompa lompas he has genetically modified cows to do his bidding." * "It's the dreaded ax moth!"
Tue, 03 Oct 2006 23:25:58 ESTOctober is upon us, dear Fluff fans, which can only mean lumberjacks, halloween, christian guilt, and an inability to walk around naked like you really really really want to. p.s. Hey Moms of Annie and Colleen: note the different faces on the girls this week. It's not us in our birthday exclamation points! Rather, that's the amazing Wau Wau Sisters who are absolute NYC vaudevile legends in the making and also happen to be our musical guest this week! Musical Guest: The Wau Wau Sisters performing "Country Ham" and "Moron" Tales of Wonder: * Halloween Hell House * Candyland and Mousetrap: 1880's style * Classiness is a Monkey Head with a Straw * Lumberjack Day Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Come to Commerce, we have free coin counters and the slide of death, which is how we distinguish ourselves from Wamu who only has the slide of slight terror." * "The AF stands for Asbestos and Aids." * "Instead of ompa lompas he has genetically modified cows to do his bidding." * "I think having a glass monkey head would still be weird."
Wed, 20 Sep 2006 23:25:58 ESTYour cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis as Annie and Colleen bring you yet another host of urban legends and scientific anomalies. What is fact and what is fiction, science fans? Are Annie and Colleen actually nutjobs, or is it just your imagination, hmmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this podcast has no logic and no seriousness. Which offers you this chilling challenge... to find a rational explanation! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course, there's always OUR way... Musical Guest: Dressy Bessy performing "Electrified" and "Who'd Stop The Rain" Tales of Wonder: * A visit from the Very-Shallow-Water Shark * Two Wonderfully Horrifying NYC Transit Stories * Bingo with Murray Hill Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Whoa, Colleen just had a muppet moment!" * "Did you take off your vaginas and put 'em in your suitcase?" * "There's something about cocks in the bible."
Wed, 13 Sep 2006 23:25:58 ESTChoose any of these four exciting characters to guide you through this week's show: Colleen AF Venable, Annie Sanders, Chris Dlugosz, or Mikey IQ Jones. Each has a special ability: Annie has brilliant facial hair and can jump very high, Mikey is very good at defying gravity, Chris can throw things quickly and is a very agile pianist, and Colleen is very unbalanced and smells a bit like the inside of a turkey. Good luck! I hope you make it to level 7 because that's totally the best one. Oh yeah, and should anyone try to interfere with your listening to Fluff Radio Show #44 they can be easily defeated by throwing items plucked from the ground. Like vegetables, other people, or spare trombones. Musical Guest: Chris Dlugosz, of PIXEL and ARMCANNON fame, performing "Original 03" and "Super Mario Bros-Underworld Contorted" Tales of Wonder: * We'd Do Hanson If It Cured Cancer * Myth Bustin' with Mr. Bean * Life is Good in a Frogsuit * How to Play Crackman Impromptu Songs: Tragic Birthday (music by Chris Dlugosz, words, screams, and creepy whispers by Annie, Colleen, and Mikey) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Cheek implants." "Chicken plants?" "Yes. She got chickens implanted in her stomach so she'd never be hungry again." * "Streets on the China, never hurt um' before." * "The thought of the proverbial dangling quiche." * "It's a 'Turkey on Mr. Bean's Head' phone and to answer the phone you lift the turkey off Mr. Bean's head and put it over your own."
Tue, 05 Sep 2006 23:25:58 ESTGreetings, science fans! I like that..."science fans"...it's like "sports fans," but for nerds. Today, Annie and Colleen bring you a first in audio technology. By melding together the present technology of podcast radio and the past technology of 3-D movies and Michael Jackson's hot dance moves, Annie and Colleen present: THE VERY FIRST 3-D PODCAST! Ok, so actually we just describe the reall cool 3-D Captain EO comic book we got, but it's still really...um...different. May the dance be with you. Musical Guest: One Ring Zero performing two and a half songs from their As Smart As We Are album: "Radio" (words by Daniel Handler the Social and Literary Representative of Lemony Snicket), "Deposition Disposition" (words by Lawrence Krauser), and a clip of "M.C" (words by Michael Chabon in his rejection e-mail to the group) Tales of Wonder: * One Year Anniversary! * Colleen Gives Annie the Awesomest Thing Ever: A 3-D Captain EO Comic Book * The Red Party * Fan Calls from Gwangi and Yanichka * Annie Goes to Lake Powell or "Welcome to the Jungle" in the Desert Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Did everyone bring their lesbians?" * "Slow in the head, easy in the bed!" * "We made an acronym, there's no going back now!"
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 23:25:58 ESTTalk about a show with a whole lot going on! Annie, Alyssa, and Colleen fight their way through handbikes, giant hamster balls, a series of archived commercials made by a hyperactive eight-year-old Colleen, an self-interview by an awesome band, many mentions of racy things, piles of chest hair, and tennis ball bullets. Musical Guest: Clawjob performing "I Got My Space Pass" and "(Let's Focus On) The Research" from their Sci-Fi Rock Opera, Space Crackers Tales of Wonder: * Twisties and the Chickenator * 1988 KCL Radio 1 (8 Year Old Colleen performs "Applejuice," "Excedrin," and "Interview With Kathleen Venable") * Latex Crazies and Documentaries * American Gladiators Explained * The Do's/Don't's of Chest Hair Shaving at Parties Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Schwarzenader is a very buff guy who likes seat belts." * "It was like the Milli Vanilli of wine coolers" * "I sang but she fake pianasized." * "God my ass is hurting my fingertips!"
Tue, 01 Aug 2006 23:25:58 ESTSo, it's summer, and you know what that means!! NO, not swimsuits, ice cream, and the eternal struggle of positive self-image! It's time for the BIG summer thunderstorm! And just in case you happen to live in a locality that does not receive such natural wonders, Annie and Colleen have ordered one up from God, just for you! Shiver with our heroes at the crack of lightning! Wonder if they really ARE safe in their basement apartment with the window cracked open! Will they ever survive the onslaught of static electriicity and condensation?! Find out this week, on Fluff Radio Review! Musical Guest: Saer Ze performing "Too Sexy" and "You'll Be Surprised" Sketches: * James Vanderhoffen and Jameserhoffen Visit from Countryenhoffen to teach you a new language! Tales of Wonder: * Crazy Thunderstorm! (listen, you can hear it!) (seriously, Colleen shits her pants) * Colleen goes to THE milkshake shop (and brings all the boys in the yard...or maybe just one) * How to make roast beef popcorn * Colleen's new book project * Annie and Colleen riff on Star Wars... YET AGAIN (what is this, a Kevin Smith movie?) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I got stuck in a train, and it was SOOO HOT, I had to put my hands under my arms, and just scoop out the sweat!" * "I never made the connection with Playdoh-head and Anakin!" * "Onomatopoeia be DAMNED!" * "I gotta cover my feet because that's what I do when the monsters might get me." * "Loaded rifle popcorn! It'll blow your brain away!"
Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:25:58 ESTLong, long ago in a land we liked to call 2005 we started this here radio show without a single smidgen of an idea what we were doing. In honor of our 40th show we bring back our very first musical guest for a super special LIVE performance. Oooooooh! Tom Warnick believed in us back before everyone else did...or maybe he just really wanted that spray on tan we had promised him. The awesome Adam and Alyssa also join us this week, and in case you thought we were kidding, super secret show 39 is now floating around our ftp server. Yee be pirates and it be booty! Can you find it? I'll give you a hint: It totally won't be worth the effort! Musical Guest: Tom Warnick and The World's Fair performing "A Little Space" and "Kissing Stand" from his super brand new album "MAY I SEE SOME ID" Tales of Wonder: * Show 39: The Shortest Show Ever * Dr. Ethan Frome and Larry King * Adam Knows Way Too Much About Video Games * The David Hasslehoff Store (the one on 17th) * Best Soap Opera Moments of All Time Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "You're welcome. That spray on tan you promised never arrived in the mail..." * "Link was Link and Princess Zelda was Zelda." "And they were brother and sister that were in love?!" * "It's like hot present potato." * "A precious sediment of burritto...sounds like you need Beano." * "Sitting on my vibrating chicken bridge."
Thu, 13 Jul 2006 23:25:58 ESTWelcome bretheren. Tonight we gather together in celebration. Tonight we share in a dream: not only a dream about a heavy guy with a trap door on his back as drawn by Travis Nichols, but also a dream of vine ripened fruit. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no Thighlock. For tonight, children, the kingdom of produce is at hand, and golden juice shall spill from our lips like sweet appellations from the mouths of poets. So sit, my friend. Lay down thine burden for a few moments whilest we layeth a few new proverbs on thine ears. Aaaaaaaaaamen. Musical Guest: Travis Nichols, cartoonist and awesome rocker from ilikeapplejuice.com, performing in two different bands THE NEEDIES' "A Song About Water" and also as OMEGA MONSTER PATROL's "The Fixxx" Tales of Wonder: * Sweet Sugar gliders! * July 4th weekend recap * Embarassing stories, YM magazine style! Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I wouldn't go near the Thighlock; it hasn't had it's true berries of magical gold today!" * "Sugar gliders actually LIKE female companions..." * "Your cat will become a fur projectile dirty-bomb."
Wed, 28 Jun 2006 23:25:58 ESTToday's show is brought to you by Segways, Smirn Office, Mel Brooks Chest Rub, Mel Brooks Chest Rugs, A Shampoo with Pro-Vitamooons, and anyone else that wants to give us money or big ol' boxes of alco-ma-hol. Click on the picture above for an example of how well we can sell your product! We are professionals. What we are professional at, we have yet to determine. Musical Guest: Devotchka performing "Venus in Furs" and "How it Ends" Tales of Wonder: * Things You Can Learn from Yogi Bear * Our New Sponsors (who don't know it yet) * The Fluff Who Winner: NEIL! * Annie is a Bully * Bob Is Going to Be OKAY Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "If you're really pretentious every time you say the same word you get more and more mispronounced, so if you say bachelors the next time you say it Bahaachelers and then Bahaachetittlers." * "Heeeeey! I'm wearing pineapple pants!" * "I've got to be freeeeee. Something something something and something that probably rhymes with freeee." * "Got a head cold? Rub a little Mel Brooks on your chest and you'll be feeling spiffy by morning."
Mon, 19 Jun 2006 23:25:58 ESTHallo, neighbor! What brings thee to this pre-Colonial neck of the woods? I see you are doing naught but sitting. An idle mind is the devil's playground, or so we say. Perchance I might interest you in a toy of rustic fashioning, a simple wheel propelled by a wooden rod. Yes, my friend, it is my rumby stick! Would you like to have a go at it? It may be difficult at first, but stay with it and soon you shall find yourself cavorting up and down the cobblestones with nary a care in the world! Why, just last week I sold one to old Thomas Payne, and what a time he had! Musical Guest: The Ditty Bops performing "Angel With An Attitude" and "Aluminum Can" Tales of Wonder: * The Studio Is Haunted by Playground Ghosts (aka the Yates and the Malki!) * MOCCA Recap * Colonial Williamsburg is Embarrassing at 25 with your Parents * The FLUFF WHO Finalists are Announced! Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Putting on the Ritz...Cracker that is!" * "I'm full of cheese and ready for love!" * "La la la naked." * "Free high-fives, while supplies last."
Mon, 12 Jun 2006 23:25:58 ESTMusical Comedy Duo Rob and Mark, from the very appropriately named "The Rob and Mark Show," join Annie and Colleen in the studio this week for the first ever live musical guest appearance. Not only do they rock all of Brooklyn, teach us about food conservation through Mole People, but they also play (and WIN) the first ever live FLUFF WHO game with a little help from Tyler and leather bars. Musical Guest: The Rob and Mark Show performing "The Blog Song" and "Let's Switch Cars" Tales of Wonder: * Bad Face Painting Experiences * How To Lose Friends With You Tube * The Moooooole People (they live under the tracks) * Shaqsphere in the Park * Rob and Mark Guess Who Impromptu Songs: * The Mole People Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I'm not good enough to bring frozen grapes to the next soccer match!" * "What was captain hook's name before they cut off his hand?" "He was captain 'look at this awesome watch.'" * "Buy one of the lightbulbs from the electrical light parade. It'll get you SO HIGH."
Fri, 02 Jun 2006 23:25:58 ESTThe Guess Who Contest is well underway with loads of entries hanging around the forum . You've still got a week to get them to us! We pity the foo who doesn't enter as well as the foo who's never seen a naked lady toothbrush. Our gums have never been so fresh. Arrr. Musical Guest: 100 Damned Guns performing "Hangin'" and "I Fall Down" Tales of Wonder: * Guess Who Contest Update! * How To Make Friends and Distribute Potatoes in Cafeterias * Fleet Week Sea Men * What Happens When You Call 911 for Snakes * Naked Lady Toothbrushes Impromptu Songs: * An Old Austrian * The Mr. T Challenge Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Annie's Got the Lice of the Face!" * "Girls gone wild, gone to elementary school, to serve mashed potatoes." * "Sea People! Sea People! But at least that's better than Sea Men! Sea Men!" * "Hoooooly Kid!" "Holy baby goat?" * "Guess who killed the butler, because it couldn't be the butler."
Thu, 25 May 2006 23:25:58 ESTI'm Jimmy. Colleen's my mom. Did you just try to talk? Sorry. Actually. No wait, I wasn't done. You should stop trying to talk. Did you hear about the contest? They said if you send in your picture they'll make your head into a board game. Are you chewing gum? They said they could find out who my daddy is. I bet he's a baseball player. Or an astronaut. Who plays baseball. You smell minty. On the moon. He hits really far. He's my dad. Colleen's my mom. Still. Send in your pictures. GUESS WHO! is my dad. Musical Guest: Vermillion Lies performing "No Good" and "Circus Apocalypse" Tales of Wonder: * Convention Mention, What's Your...uh Tension? * Washington D.C. City of No Pants * Chapstick Pyramid of Glory * Who Stole Jesus' Body? * The Guess Who Contest Sketches: * Jimmy the Most Annoying Fake Child in the World Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Don't dough me!" * "Wouldn't it be awesome if we had zippered belly buttons?" * "He looks like the man from the Six Flags commercials, but skinnier and less like 'a woman underneath'." * "...and I get on the escalator and there's this giant thumbprint behind me and he proceeds to hit on me!" CONTEST!: Listen to this week's show for a chance to win prizes beyond your wildest dreams, unless you often dream about board games, in which case, I guess it's not too crazy. Send in your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com or post them on the forum.
Wed, 17 May 2006 23:25:58 ESTDo you have your last words ready? Colleen and Annie tell you some of their favorite last words of all time, both making you laugh and accidentally ponder your exisitence. Yeah, sorry about the pondering. But don't worry balanced out all that depressing stuff with talk of boogers. *whispered* Awwwwwwsome. Musical Guest: Voxtrot performing "Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, and Wives" and "The Start of Something" Tales of Wonder: * How to Save our Nation's Capital from Vandalism-ers * Kindergarten Cop Prank Calls * Henry Rollins is Crazy (but Likes Lemony Snicket) * Thomas Grasso's Last Words * Amber from ">"Mom You're Ruining Our Fort" Says Hello, Hotline Style * Don't Put Butter Down Your Pants Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Are you going to paddle on the Jefferson?" * "Henry Rollins, not to be confused with HarperCollins." * "You think cow milk is expensive these days. You should try finding panda milk." * "La Mega Te Paga. Oooh I'm covered wine...now wait this is money."
Wed, 10 May 2006 23:25:58 ESTThis is Gilda. Gilda Goldenstein. I hope you are all planning on going to temple this weekend like the goodJews your mother and father taught you to be. My Bobbywill be there. He’s single now. Colleen turned him down. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. My mother always told me to keep a jag in the garage, a mink in my closet and a Jewish tiger in my bed, if you know what I mean. My Bobby will give you all three. So really, I think you should come to temple. Who knows, maybe my Bobby will like you. He especially likes girls with good noses. You can always tell a good cook if she has a good nose. And my Bobby loves a good cook. He once dated a woman who wasn’t such a good cook. I made sure he knew what he was gettng himself into. I cooked him every kind of kosher recipe I could find and brought it over every night, right after they ate dinner and before I got Bobby into his pajamas, just so he could see what he was missing. She didn’t last long. But I’m sure you’re a great cook. You should come to temple and meet my Bobby. He’s such a handsome boy. Take care, honey. And tell your mother I said hello. -Gilda Musical Guest: Icewagon Flu (www.icewagonflu.com) performing "Nudity" and "Liza Was Rejected" Tales of Wonder: * Colleen Gets Pregnant While Vomiting in a Target Parking Lot * Chicago: Unsafe for Public Art * Kids say the dirtiest things! * Do things taste better when eaten through your nose? A Fluff Radio Exclusive Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "If I was an astronaut, would I be less congested or more? Would the snot inside of my head float?" * "Security guards on Segways! Cops with shot puts!" * "Am I the only one who gets pokey boogers?" Tales of Wonder: * Meet Gilda, Gilda Goldenstein (and her dear son Bobby)
Mon, 24 Apr 2006 23:25:58 ESTGet out your hands and feet and then somebody else's hands or feet (your choice) cause we just hit show number 30! This week's show is like the back of a highlights book where you have to figure out what's different. Can you figure it out? I'll give you a hint: it has nothing to do with the assembly of medival weapons or a lack of pants or the Cliffhanger fan club or the ghost of Peanuts Past or Annie's New Gold Tooth...still haven't gotten it? Well, I could give you more hints, but I've got a murder weapon to assemble. Musical Guest: Jason Webley performing "Dance While the Sky Crashes Down" and "Maps" Tales of Wonder: * Tourist Season Begins * Catapult Assembly 101 * Ear Patches are Sexy * If We Wrote "Cliffhanger" it Would Have Been A Much Better Movie * Business Squirrel Hunting) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Everything's better on Roller Skates. I'm planning on getting that tattoo as a bumper sticker." * "That sounds like a fat lady looking at a chocolate empire state building." * "Those are animatronic bugs that are selling something. Those are animatronic bugs with purpose. Those are animatronic bugs with a career goal." * "The timing was so perfect that we totally shat little green apples." * "And there can be Planet Argo the Horse and Plant Joxer the kind-hearted bumbling idiot."
Tue, 18 Apr 2006 23:25:58 ESTFirst, there was Cher in "Moonstruck." Then Madonna in "A League of Their Own." Finally, a New York accent is butchered so badly, it took two people to do the job! Listen to Annie and Colleen in "Caawfee Co'nuh," available for download now! (pssst...Supposedly Annie thinks the bizarre way Colleen's mouth says "I mean when I get married" at around 17:10 is even funnier when played on a continous loop) Musical Guest: Jesca Hoop performing "Seed of Wonder" and "Silverscreen" Tales of Wonder: * Caawfee Co'nuh * Exciting Toof Update * Secret Apartment Dancing * Annie and Colleen discuss/tackle a subject that affects all Americans...STAR WARS * Flukeman is Waiting (in the Porta Potty) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I learned everything I need to know about Captain Eo. Like 'The Power of dance will set you free' and 'don't trust Angelica Houston.'" * "I'm gonna Macarena you in the neck!" * "I'm never gonna be a full Brooklynite if I keep putting off this whole people killing thing." * I'm Luke (Skywalker), and I'm really upset! You hurt my feelings!" * "Master Luke, I'm a big anal retentive robot, which is weird, because I never had an anal phase, cuz I'm a robot!"
Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:25:58 ESTCartoonist and Fluff cast member Robin Enrico joins us in the studio this week as we celebrate the first week of the Fluff Hotline (775-416-5492) and play our favorite fan phone calls of the week, all while doing impressions of 13-year-old girls and Tony Danza. Musical Guest: The Fabulous Entourage performing "The Theme Song" and "Perry's Dream" Tales of Wonder: * April's Fools Pranks Involving Uhauls * Creepy Myspace Stuff and Phone Calls from Fans * The Boss vs. That Other Boss * The CIA and their Fancy Teapots * Robin Reads Colleen's 13-year-old Diary * Annie's Exploding Tooth Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * " 'ello mother! I said 'cock ring' in a store today!" * "He's our scientist. He corrects us if we are scientifically or anatomically inaccurate." * "I'm Tony Danza and I'm going to kill you with my floppy hair!" * "Nicole and me were pretending we wanted to be cousins when we grew up...no wait that says custodians."
Tue, 28 Mar 2006 23:25:58 ESTHi kids! Welcome to Show 27 of Fluff Radio Review! This week Annie and Colleen make a valiant attempt to shake off being tired, overworked, and sick in order to bring YOU a few laughs and chase away your winter blues. (You lousy ingrates shoudl be ashamed of yourselves.) P.S. Send more tri-flavored popcorn. It's the only thing that will save Annie...err I mean Tinkerbell...err I mean...DAMMIT I WANT POPCORN! Musical Guest: The Dammitheads performing "Rise and Die" and "I Kid You Not" Tales of Wonder: * What is Colleen Secretly Getting Away With? * Obscure Movie Comparisons * Hard Times at Annie's Office * Sexy Card Descriptions * Weirdest Movie Casting Combos of all Time Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I saw a dog today who was the most professional shitter I have ever seen!" * "There's so much stuff up my alley it's hard to fit anything else." * "I need a big badass dude with a bag of socks to back me up, here." * "Your verse is esconced like a flower in petals."
Mon, 20 Mar 2006 23:25:58 ESTThis week marks the official annoucement of the FLUFF HOTLINE where all you lovely folk can leave Annie and Colleen a voicemail message whenever your heart desires! Inspired by Scott Bateman's animation of our "I Don't Want To Be Your Friend on Myspace" song, we want all of you to call 718-304-7939 and leave us the worst pickup line or message you've ever received through myspace or any other site that attracts sketchy sketchy people that go by names like "Arms." If you have no myspace stories (lucky you!) feel free to call us and tell us any other story, perhaps even the one about the time you broke that million dollar vase in the Louvre and you TOTALLY blamed it on the old lady standing next to you. Musical Guest: Jubb and the Dirty Sleeves performing "Malarkey" and "More Sincere Than Elvis" Tales of Wonder: * A Twister-ed St. Patrick's Day * Cultural Void of Food * Official Birth of the Fluff Hotline! 718-304-7939 * The Seamonster in Colleen's Heart * Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Bam-Bam Sketches: * Garrison Teaches Us About Britney and Trout Impromptu Songs: * 718-304-7939 (It's EASY to Remember!) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "My favorite is Beef-Jerky-Big-League-Chew Beaver." * "Kinda how Barney Rubble is always trying to steal Fred Flintstone's wife." * "There's a black hole in my butt." "Just sucking up your undies?" * "I finally pull my thumb out of my ass and you scare me about it!"
Mon, 13 Mar 2006 23:25:58 ESTThis week we welcome several guests into the super secret lair studio, including Anya, Marianne, Abel, and extra-special guest Michael Lucid from the sketch comedy show Pretty Things! Unbeknownst to Colleen, Annie even sneaks in a few serious interview-like questions for Michael... but, unbeknownst to Annie, Colleen is perfectly capable of turning serious interview-like questions into discussions about loin-cloths. Musical Guest: Pretty Things performing "Str8 for a Minute," "Always a Bad Girl," and "Johnny Jimmy Joe" (click on to watch the videos) P.S. Colleen strongly identifies with Bug Girl
Wed, 08 Mar 2006 23:25:58 ESTColleen returns from Austin, with a full report on the Staple! Convention festivities, jam-packed with action-filled stories to knock your knockers off. Ps. "Arms" would like for you to watch out for the return of the secret blooper, and for you to friend him on myspace (he thinks you're cute). Musical Guest: Lil' Pocketknife performing "Disco Dancer" and "A.D.D." Tales of Wonder: * Colleen Craps her Pants * Annie and Colleen *know* Tom Jones... sorta... * First Official Sound-Effect Off! Impromptu Songs: * The MySpace Song Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "There's a monster in the shitter!" * "It was a drive-by fiving!!!" * "By the way, www.tomjonessexham.com is NOT taken." * "There's a boob in my shoe!"
Mon, 27 Feb 2006 23:25:58 ESTThe lovely Anya from Sketchartists.net joins us this week and teaches us all about math, baginas, and our lord and savior. If we had ANY religious or mathematician listeners we're surely going to loose them after this one. Musical Guest: Matson Jones performing "Exes and Ohs" and "Into My Arms" Tales of Wonder: * Anya, the Math Genius * Colleen and Annie Start a Sweatshop * Witness Protection Baginas * The Devil and Pangaea both Love the Bible * Jesus: Hippy or Hipster? * Love and Hate of Sly Impromptu Songs: * I Don't Want Anyone But Jesus Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "The worst thing about Jesus is that he died at 38 and the apostles never got to leave the ad 'Lordy Lordy look who's forty.'" * "You know what i realized the other day that made me sad: Tyrannosaurus rexes couldn't do cartwheels" * "Either you can have a $5 gift certificate to the fluff in Brooklyn store or a $5 certificate towards giving me a baby."
Tue, 21 Feb 2006 23:25:58 ESTOne score and two weeks ago, Annie and Colleen brought forth onto this continent a new podcast, conceived in hilarity, and dedicated to the pursuit of silliness. Some days, it's a good day to die, and some days it's a good day for Dennys' Grand Slam Breakfast... but most of the time, you can bet that it's a bad day to wear thong underwear. Join us this week as we discuss some post-Valentine's Day experiences that rubbed us the wrong way. Musical Guest: Keelay performing "We Can Make a Baby" and "America" Tales of Wonder: * Proof that Colleen is NOT Sexy * Annie=Secret Tree Ninja * Colleen and the Killer Whales Save Sherlock Holmes from the Giant Crabs Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I guess that makes a little more sense than a compulsive arm eater." * "It's kinda like arts and crafts baby-makin'." * "Glue and staples aren't enemies. They're allies in the war against loose paper sheets and disorganization."
Mon, 13 Feb 2006 23:25:58 ESTLove is in the air and all that crap! Join Colleen and Annie as they tell tales of noxious fumes d'amore, kissing contests, and people loosing their pants in public. If you happen to be a fan from IOWA you might want to listen to this show closely. And congrats to our Hot Duck Ass the winner of the sky mall poll...that took TWO FRIGGIN' MONTHS to complete. Musical Guest: The Spinto Band performing "Brown Boxes" and "Direct to Helmet" Tales of Wonder: * Colleen's Four Jobs * Fun with Nautical Themes * The IOWA Contest (which one lucky fan will win $5!) * Band Stories * Annie Limbo Dances Sketches: * Proper Etiquette When Trapped in Objects Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "We didn't wear helmets in orchestra because we didn't have special people trying to play string instruments." * "You didn't get extra points for naughty bits." * "Tri-flavored flopcorn. It's this weird stuff made out of dead bunnies." * "Watch out. They are going to try and steal your pee."
Sun, 05 Feb 2006 23:25:58 ESTAnnie returns from sunny California and with the world's saddest story and Colleen returns from Colorado with a new found ability to fall off chair-lifts. The Skymall Fund has finally been totaled and you can go here to help Colleen and Annie choose what they will buy with quarters 16 amazing fans sent to them. And if you TOO would like to see Hot Duck Ass we suggest you visit your local zoo. Musical Guest: David Sugar performing "Temper Temper" and "Warm Ananlogue" Tales of Wonder: * How to Properly Play Video Games * Colleen Learns to Ski (with a Phantom Booger) * Annie and Bob Barker * Skymall Fund Total and Poll Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Don't make me beat you to death with my ukulele!" * "I would lunge forward in an attempt to levitate Mario and would release a guttural Uuuuuuaaaaaahhhh." * "I ate the pool!" * "I was like an amputee who lost their arm. I must of had a massive booger once that I subconsciously miss." * "That's the saddest story ever. You could have just told me puppies were murdered in a giant rollercoaster accident and I wouldn't have been as sad."
Mon, 16 Jan 2006 23:25:58 ESTWe start off this week's show with a lovely trailer from our fantabulous friends over at NAUGHTY KARATE and head right back to the trailer...park that is (oh hahaha) for a public service announcement about the importance of donating to the Fluff "Annie and Colleen Really Want to Install a Gear Shift on Colleen's Toilet" Fund. Musical Guest: Langhorne Slim performing "Loretta Lee Jones" and "Mary" Skits: * The Life of a Trucker Who Thinks Outside the Box Tales of Wonder: * Defense Against the Dark Arts with Annie the Muggle Muggee (aka she's been mugged...sorta...) * Wacka-Oranges * I Always Ship My Packages with DSL Impromptu Songs: * UPS-It-Person Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I'll do the fingers cymbals, but not on my fingers, because they are cutting off all circulation to my brain." * "There's nothing like a well-chapped mugger. If the mugging doesn't work out we can make out." * "Jiminy Cricket has no power over that. Who makes suits for crickets anyway?" * "Shitteraid, like Gatorade but grosser."
Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:25:58 ESTAn extremely scientific study as to whether or not a hyperactive person can explode due to Red Bull results in the the conclusion that Red Bulls taste like poop! Also, we aren't kidding about the kidding about the "If everyone donates 25 cents we'll install a gear shift on Colleen's toilet" thing! WE WANT TO DRIVE A TOILET (as well as world peace...world peace would be pretty cool, too, we guess.) Musical Guest: Amy Miles performing "Back to Bed" and "Heavy Packer" Tales of Wonder: * "On The Run" and the Magic of String Cheese * Evan Dashevsky: Hero to the People (or at least the drunk ones on New Years) * The Magic of Sky Mall (including Mr. Treehead and A Downshifting toilet) * Baby Juices and Backwards Messages Impromptu Songs: * Struffla (with Honey on Top!) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Yes, electrical string cheese with bifocals." * "it's not like you're going to instantaneously explode it's notlike cocaine or something." "People instantaneously explode from cocaine?!" * "It's gotta be really hard to do martial arts on a dog." * "You can make your own diner out of it! Serve hamburgers! Make Coldslaw! All with the power of BABY JUICE!"
Sat, 24 Dec 2005 23:25:58 ESTThis week we've got a special little Christmas show for you as Annie and Colleen sing Christmas Carols which you and all your family (seriously make SURE to put it on when all your family, especially when the really conservative ones or the ones who are dentists and hate all talk of carmelized popcorn, are listening). Musical Guest: The Fluff Radio Review House Band performing "We, Will, We Will, Grinch You," a rather pretty (well at least for like 45 seconds) version of "Greenselves," and the brand new, soon to be a holiday classic "Oh, Sweet Yummy" which you can download separately HERE because we think it's the most amazing song we've ever improvised and who CAN'T relate with the feeling of not getting the one gift you were secretly dreaming of all along. Tri-flavored popcorn...how I miss you. Tales of Wonder: * How to dance the GrandMamba * Christmas Transit Wackiness: Colleen and Annie bike 26 miles in one day Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "SUUUUUUUUGAR it's in my system. It's making me want to run in place!" * "Nothing says 'I love you' at Christmas (no one loves me) like a nice big two-foot tin of the funky munchie. (Oh, yeah! I woulda liked) Honey, now (to be loved.) sexy, hardcore." * "I'd pour you over me like Gatorade at the end of the Super Bowl!" * "Are you giving them away for 'Eat Blue Food Day'?"
Mon, 19 Dec 2005 23:25:58 EST"Why Hello, Annie and Colleen! Have you been good little kids this year? Eggbert knows all and sees all and knows everything which I kinda already said, but I'm an Egg so forgive me. So even though I know already, do you want to tell me what you would like for Christmas?...ahhhhhh. I thought so! Now go on your way. Buy an ornament of my head in the gift shop!"--Eggbert circa 1985 Musical Guest: The Dresden Dolls performing "Girl Anachronism" and "Missed Me" Tales of Wonder: * Who Needs Santa When You Have Eggbert? * Macaulay Culkin and the Limo Mystery * How to Properly Sell Your Soul to the Devil Impromptu Songs: * Momma's Little Baby Loves Satan Bread Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "I gotta finish this project...the project being my cardiovascular system." * "I have this burning Vincent Price DESIRE, a Vincent Price sized hole in my gut." * "Satan hates puns, which is maybe why he won't make a deal with you."
Mon, 12 Dec 2005 23:25:58 ESTRecorded from 3am to 4am, Show 15 doesn't always go the most coherent route (and just might contain the most annoying opening to a show ever) but it DOES prove that Annie Sanders is President of Knowing Weird Facts About Presidents and Colleen AF Venable always looks for any way to bring Dizzy Bat Baseball into conversations. *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!* Musical Guest: Tigers and Monkeys performing "Fire Escape" and "Loose Mouth" Skits: * Meet the Presidents Tales of Wonder: * Awful Nicknames: From Boog to Beanies * Colleen's Got the (extra) Clap * Pedro Pietri's "Out of Order" Improptu Songs: * Poppyseed Man (see the myth, the LEGEND, by clicking HERE) Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Her Native American name is "White Lady Who Likes Native Americans Too Much." * "Frips? That sounds like some sort of children's hospital." * "Awwwww, you're such a cute little masochistic dog f***ker!"
Mon, 05 Dec 2005 23:25:58 ESTAhhh, very interesting. From the moment you stepped into my Fortune Teller parlor I felt a strong presence of spirits. Come, dearie, sit down and let me read your carrot cards. Let me see what the carrots have in store for you. Hmmmm very interesting? The priestess means you will have a good love life and find a cool brooch. The fortune card means you'll sell your brooch and occasionally some love for a good amount of money. The Death means..oh dear...well it's right here next to the Braces card...Have you been flossing? Musical Guest: Palomar performing "The Lost Freshman" and "The Planeiac" Tales of Wonder: * How to Get Free Dental Work * Colleen Teaches You How to Cheat at Operation * Broken Up Bands That We Can't Get Improptu Songs: * The Fluff Theme Song: Kazoo-zoo style Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "P.S.S. Oooh Maaaaaaaangalo." * "It sounds like an old lady who just had her ass pinched, like a whole bunch of old ladies and some guy who's got really fast pinching fingers." * "Poppin' Fresh Colleeeeeeeeeeeen!"
Tue, 29 Nov 2005 23:25:58 ESTShow 13 (14 if you're the superstitious type) features our first ever less-than-30-people guest stars, Ms. Ashley, a good friend of Annie's for the past 20 years, as well as Chuck Norris, who, while quite silent during much of the episode delivered a fatal roundhouse to Colleen during her signature goodbye at the end of the show. She will be missed...(DIBS ON HER DDR MATS!) This show was our longest to date, editing it down from 64 minutes of audio goodness. So much good stuff was taken out we could have made TWO Fluff shows out of it! I suggest you listen carefully and keep an eye out for weevils, Norris, and soapy pasta. Musical Guest: Mad Caddies performing "Just One More" (via the Podsafe Music Network) and Deep Six performing "First Days of Summer" Tales of Wonder: * Roadside Attractions of the South-West: Hey Baby, Nice (straight) Ass (road)! * The Worst Cooks in the World * "Making Friends 101" Taught by Professor Ashley * CNN Ticker Guy's Last Day on the Job * Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "There's a Margarita Festival that I saw on TV one time where they make this gigantic enchiladas...I mean Margarita." * "You know those black spots in the potatoes...that's not pepper. It's weevils." * "Jesus was Vice President of your kindergarten?!" * "It's the Botox. It's building up like a pimple!"
Mon, 21 Nov 2005 23:25:58 ESTIn the aftermath of the 100th Comic and 10th Podcast Fiesta last week, there remained, among other things (such as tap shoes and a ukulele), a completely untouched ode to Delta Burke in the form of a chocolate frosted yellow cake. As the week progressed, large sections of the cake began to mysteriously disappear during the night. There could only be one explanation- Delta Burke was stealing our CAKE. This is our revenge... Musical Guest: SHEE performing "Work Clothes" and "My Girl (Kitty, Kitty)" Tales of Wonder: * Mr. Bare-Cheeks Rides the Subway * Colleen's Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Week Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context: * "Coconut penalty!" * "I was in high school in college." * "The moral of the storal: Leg Hair Makes Paisleys." * "New York-The City That Doesn't Exfoliate." * "Some people are airsores."