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This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Last Build Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2017 05:13:04 +0000


Le secret de Paris, from someone who sure does talk about balls a lot

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 15:46:31 +0000

When people found out that I was going to be spending three weeks in Paris, the reactions broke into two distinct camps. People were either, “Oh my god, what are you thinking? I’d get bored after four days! You’re going to want to go home...

Parles-vous more slowly? Gracias!

Tue, 11 Jul 2017 15:07:39 +0000

The flight I took from SLC to Paris is a nonstop flight they added in 2008, the first transatlantic flight out of SLC. And they do it every day, not just when they feel like hopping on over to France to pick up some pain...

Mother, I did not go where you told me not to go, sort of

Fri, 07 Jul 2017 17:24:21 +0000

I am getting on a plane to Paris tomorrow and holy shit, I am not even going to pretend like I have any fucking clue what I am doing. I have been traveling 25 of the last 35 days, once even to Texas OF ALL...

Thoughts on mortality via my ever-evolving hair

Thu, 06 Jul 2017 22:22:54 +0000

This post is in partnership with 2-Minute Club who is offering $20 Off + Free Shipping on Pura D’or shampoo and conditioner system with code DOOCE. …… At the age of five after my family moved across town into a different school district in the middle of my...

Books People Send Me, Installment Three

Wed, 28 Jun 2017 13:10:32 +0000

At the end of the summer a library in Cache County, Utah, is going to be getting a slew of books that are all over the map in terms of content: coloring books, self-help, guides to better parenting, cooking with kids, murder mysteries that involve steamy...

In which I go overboard for the sake of my child’s self-esteem

Mon, 26 Jun 2017 14:20:26 +0000

This post is in partnership with Warner Bros. Pictures …… On June 30th, Warner Bros. Pictures is releasing a new comedy starring Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell called The House, a film about two desperate parents and the lengths they will go to for their...

Today’s protip: Always make small talk with the person driving the car

Fri, 23 Jun 2017 17:32:59 +0000

Last May I traveled to Berlin and gave a speech at a tech conference about online criticism and how to process it, how to teach our kids to deal with it given that they are going to experience negativity in a way we cannot possibly...

A delightful seasonal delivery that somehow knows I should probably wash my hair

Tue, 20 Jun 2017 14:22:15 +0000

Whenever someone asks me in interviews about work-life balance—is there such a thing? is it attainable? which child would you sacrifice for just one night of uninterrupted sleep and what method would you use to inflict the most pain?—I try not to groan. I really...

Zen and the Art of Not Screaming at Your Children

Fri, 16 Jun 2017 20:52:29 +0000

The girls and I just returned from a five-day trip to Austin to see family, a group including aunts, cousins, second cousins, third cousins, and… the one and only. He Who Made Me Gain Almost 15 Pounds In the Summer of 2007 Because of Homemade...

Father’s Day 2017

Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:47:27 +0000

The girls and I are headed to Austin today for our summer trip together—OH MY GOD. AUSTIN. I just this second realized the significance of this. KAREN! The universe is sending crazy signals that are hard to ignore. Hard. To ignore. So very hard. We...