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!! Amuz'd !!





Last Build Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2018 15:11:37 +0000

 



Kitty Cash

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 18:46:00 +0000

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The Projector

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:45:00 +0000

Why did the projector blush?

It saw the filmstrip!




College Course Assignment

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:44:00 +0000

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High Security in Africa

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:11:00 +0000

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Learn Japanese in 5 Minutes

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 00:40:00 +0000

1) That's not right - Sum Ting Wong 
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?
3) See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao 
4) Stupid Man - Dum Gai 
5) Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni 
6) Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?
7) I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni 
8) I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat 
9) It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim? 
10) I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone - No Pah King 
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo 
14) He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka 
15) Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great - Fu Kin Su Pah 




Love Squirrels

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:53:00 +0000

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Fortune Teller

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:48:00 +0000

Just had an appointment with the fortune teller.

She told me a lot of money is coming my way! 

I left all existed - and got hit by a frikkin Securicor van!!



Vampire Cat

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:53:00 +0000

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Heaven!

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:50:00 +0000

What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.

A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.

And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!



Cats do argue!

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:29:00 +0000

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Snow

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:38:00 +0000

Whats the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? 

Snow balls!



Nuts!

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:16:00 +0000

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Heat or Cold?

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:35:00 +0000

What travels faster, heat or cold?

Heat silly, it is too easy to catch a cold!!



Corporate Cat

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:10:00 +0000

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The little girl

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:31:00 +0000

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She, in turn blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice,"I don't fink my pet python weally givth a thit"



Homey kitten!

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:41:00 +0000

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Where would you rather be?

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:30:00 +0000

In prison: you spend your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work: you spend your time in an even smaller cubicle.

In prison: you get 3 meals a day.
At work: you get a break for 1 meal and have to pay for it. 

In prison: you get time off for good behavior.
At work: you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison: there are wardens who are often sadistic and psycotic.
At work: we call them owners, bosses, managers, etc.

In prison: you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work: there are many programs you can never get out of.

In prison: all costs are paid by taxpayers, with no effort on your part required.
At work: you get to pay all expenses to get to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners..

In prison: you spend most of your time looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work: you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.



Call of Duty 4

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 19:46:00 +0000

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The Office

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:23:00 +0000

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to 
change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. 



A Prayer

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:06:00 +0000

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Army Kid

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:52:00 +0000

An Army kid was boasting about his father to his friend, "My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"

"Yes," said his friend, "My dad has built them."

Then the kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"

"Yes.", he replied, "It's my dad who's killed it!"




His Name? Biscuits!! Don't believe me?

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:05:00 +0000

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Your Mamma!

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:05:00 +0000

Your mamma is so fat that her measurements are 36-24-36...
...and her other arm is just as big!



Penrith Train Station

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:09:00 +0000

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Two zebra's pondering

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 13:35:00 +0000

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other,

"Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?"

The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him."

So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are."

The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are."

The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."