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single motherhood





Updated: 2018-03-06T01:38:44.328-08:00

 



Life can be sooooooo unfair!!!!

2008-10-14T17:43:58.315-07:00

Last Friday, during a conference with a guardian, I found out one of my students is HIV positive. She was born with it. Lived with a Grandma, in a small town in Louisiana, for the first 5 1/2 years. Grandma died. For what ever reasons she was not on any medication. Today she is living with an aunt and her boyfriend. They started her on meds back in April of 2007. They weren't even aware that she was positive until that time. This poor kid has at least 4 strikes on her already and she isn't even 8.

She also has siblings 14, 12, 10 and five. How can this birth mother just keep having children? From the report, the birth mother showed up school last year, looking for her. She was high and strung out.

Please pray for my little pumpkin. I cannot imagine living life with this terrible disease much less getting it right out of the womb.



Politics

2008-10-05T12:28:31.304-07:00

I really don't like either of these people. It was a few years ago, that I had respect for John McCain. He always seemed to take the high road in campaigns, not wanting to get personal or nasty. Today, he is coming off like an angry old man doing the same thing every Republican has done for years. His commercials are terrible and God help this country if they actually get elected.

As far as qualifications go, I have had my passport for 5 years, visited three foreign countries and have a daughter from India. I teach in a classroom with 5 different countries present, and I grew up 60 miles from Canada. Not only do I teach those children but I also manage the classroom so there is my executive experience. I am just as qualified as Sarah, I do believe.

Today, we went to church, the grocery store and a fun kids bookstore. On the way out of the the bookstore, I noticed that my Obama bumper sticker was gone. Who would do that??? Damn I am angry.



Having trouble

2008-09-01T15:53:34.696-07:00

I am totally having trouble understanding how I am feeling about VP candidate Palin. Do I believe in working mothers? HELL YES!! My goodness I am one. Am I having problems understanding how a new mother can have a baby and return to work just days after, especially a special needs child? YES!! What happens when my 17 year old daughter comes home and tells me she is pregnant? Do I run for the second highest office in the land? A job that one day I could be thrown into the highest position in the land. I don't know. Do I tell her that as long as she marries the father it is ok? HELL NO!!! Do I support whatever decision she makes? YES!!! My goodness, I have been a supportor of women's rights my entire life, but I cannot understand these decisions. Help me understand why I have lost respect for this woman and I have only known about her since Friday.

Being a life long Democrat, a teacher, and mother, I am feeling this woman doesn't have family values I need to respect....

Wait, look who her running mate is. I man who believes in the traditional family. A man who believes my family shouldn't exist because I adopted as a single parent. A man who asks a woman to marry him before he is divorced from his first wife. A man whose campaign is asking for privacy for his running mates family but thought it was ok to personally attack Chelsea Clinton several times in the past....

GOD HELP THIS COUNTRY!!!!



Why is adopting a dog so darn hard....

2008-07-13T18:30:42.719-07:00

For the last two weeks, I have been looking for the right dog to join our family. On Monday, I sent in an application for a 1 1/2 old Shih Tzu. After Kiran and my SIL went to see Lulu, the foster mom denied us because because she would be only 8 hours a day during the school year. That was the only reason. She thought Kiran did a great job with all the dogs she saw that day. Kiran is so ready to be a pet owner. She wants a dog so badly. For the last two months, she cries daily for a dog. She is so gentle and kind with any animal she sees. My brother had to put down their dog down in April and Kiran took to very hard. She would spend so much time with Bruno, talking to him, petting him and playing with him. Our only problem is living in a town house, we will only be able to adopt a dog under 25 pounds.

My cousin lives on a small farm. They have sheep and chickens. Kiran gathers the eggs, plays with sheep and loves the barn cats not to mention the two dogs that hang out.

It might have been easier adopting a child.....



I Love Summer....

2008-07-09T20:36:41.311-07:00

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We are having a wonderful summer. We started out attending an India Culture Camp in St Paul and it has only been getting better. Kiran, for the first time, really enjoyed camp and being with families that looked like ours. These are two photos of Kiran at camp.

We went up to the Iron Range for the 4th of July. It was the first time we have ventured up north in a very long while. It was wonderful hang out and see family again. Not to mention being by Lake Vermilion and just enjoying the view.

This past Sunday, my three SILs and 4 nieces, were off to Milwaukee (a five and half hour drive). We attended Summerfest with the main attraction being those cute, wonderful, young men, The Jonas Brothers. I have never experienced anything quite like it before. There where 26,000 people there. I bet 20,000 of them were under the age of 20. The girls were screaming for almost three hours. The Brothers put on one heck of a show. It was worth the drive to see the looks of my daughter and nieces when those boys came on stage and the entire time that they sang.

We finished our last soccer game tonight and start dance next week. In the mean time, we are on the hunt for a dog. Kiran wants a dog so badly so we are looking for a cute little small dog that fit in with the family.
I hope all is well with everyone of my friends.....



Kiss of Death

2008-03-22T15:38:17.233-07:00

For the last year I have been a Hillary supporter. Ok, I haven't been a strong supporter but wanted her to win. It would be nice for all those young girls out there to see that the United States of America is really not afraid of strong women.

After reading Obama's speech the other day, I truly thought that this is the one person who truly understands the race issue and can speech so well to get it across to all people having the experiences that he has. I don't care what his minister said or says. I am a practicing Roman Catholic who doesn't believe many things that this Pope stands for. Am I going to give up on 43 years of those ideals that I do believe in, I think not!!

After having said that, I am not a bandwagon jumper, seeing I have only voted for a handful of people who have actually been elected. Being a parent of a minority child, I have experienced many things that my other family members have not or have experienced those ignorant comments made to my face without people even realizing what they are saying or who they are saying it to. Some of them have been my own family members. After I say something to them they always change it to not include Kiran of course, but the damage is done.

Then a friend had a speech on her blog with my Senator who was killed in a plane crash over 5 years ago. It was his speech on the Senate floor against invading Iraq. At the time, he was in a tough battle to hold on to his seat but would never compromise his on beliefs to get elected. Do I think he would have been re-elected? YES! Is he missed??? Absolutely!!!! We don't have a voice for the voiceless anymore.......

Listening to Paul Wellstone and then Obama, I started thinking who really wants to see change and who would continue the old ways. Maybe my support for Hillary was really for Bill. Anyway, my heart starting to feel the change and Obama started falling in the polls. What does that say about me???

Maybe it is time to ride the Mccain train. Maybe he will lose if I start supporting him........

Mary



Aging parents

2008-03-02T19:27:12.294-08:00

Three weeks ago, we were informed that my dad has a serious heart condition. He has some very severe blockage and an irregular heart beat. They need to be able to go with open heart surgery to fix the blockage but because of his Lupus and other things they prefer not to. Of course, I have been sitting here thinking what it would be like to be parentless. It is so difficult watching those we love grow old. Then I have such a distrust of doctors in Northern MN that it makes me nervous that he isn't in the city looking for help. He likes his doctor and doesn't want to move but my mom died in that same hospital this doctor works for....



Do you ever wonder.........

2008-01-30T18:17:30.986-08:00

I wonder what.....


life would be like without Kiran
it would be like to be the perfect parent
if Kiran's birthmother decided not to put her up for adoption or came looking for her
my life would be like without my SILs, brothers, nieces and nephews,
my mom would think of my parenting style
Kiran would think of my mom
my mom would think about Kiran
teaching in the suburbs would be like
our country would be like if Al Gore won almost 8 years ago
what our country will be like in 4 years
it would like to be deeply in love with a partner
it would be like to have another child
it would be like to have enough money not to have to worry about the future
why Britney Spears does what she does
or why any parent can just kill or forget about their children
or why people die so young
or why athletes, singers, and movie stars are more important then police officers, teachers
and firefighters
life would be like without my dad, I don't want to find out
it would be like if my mom was still with us on this earth.........

What do you wonder????



The New Year

2008-01-27T11:05:06.630-08:00

It is so hard to believe that we are almost done with the first month of 2008. I am hoping and praying that this year brings positive changes to our country and government.

This is the year that my oldest niece will graduate from high school, she will be able to vote in her first presidential election, and in August she will be off to college to start her adult life. WOW!! Kiran is going to have difficult time with that move. Laura was with us for the first two weeks that Kiran was home from India. Laura is big sister, mentor, and great friend all rolled into one. I am just thankful that the college she wants to go to is only 20 miles away from us.

My kid just keeps coming up the lines that make me smile and laugh. We had a great discussion the other day about keeping our house clean and how great it would be for her to start helping me more around here. I was telling her that it is hard to keep our house clean after working all day, coming home making dinner and then spending some quality time with her. Instead of saying I will do what I can mommy, she looked at me in all seriousness and said, "It's not fault that you never got married." Referring to the fact that if I had gotten married, I would not have to do all the work be myself. Where do kids come up with these things.

Mary



Happy Holidays

2007-12-16T20:47:42.764-08:00

(image) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my blog friends. I have been a terrible blogger this year but I am still reading, even if I am not responding.

This season has been a difficult one for me. It is the first without my mom's mom. She was always such an important part of the holiday.

Love to all,

Mary and Kiran



Seven Years Ago.....

2007-11-19T18:11:07.116-08:00

It seems just like yesterday. I was sitting in my masters class on a Sunday afternoon. It was totally out of the blue that my turtleneck felt like it was choking me, I couldn't catch my breath, and forget about sitting still. There was nothing unusual taking place in class but for some reason I thought I was going to die.

When I returned home, I called my SIL and told her about my first panic attack. I told her that I thought my child was born today. We talked for a while when she told me to write the day down in my calendar. Once I received a referral, if her birthday was on November 19 we know that she is mine. I then told her that could also go for November 20th seeing that India was 12 hours ahead of us.

Well, tomorrow, my darling girl turns seven.

How is that mother's intuition????



Life

2007-11-09T17:56:14.200-08:00

I am tried of taking out the trash...
of getting my oil changed...
of cleaning our house and doing our laundry....
of being the mean parent all the time...
paying ALL the bills...
doing the all the grocery shopping...
helping with homework...(can you believe a teacher is saying this!!!)
running to dance class, religion, and friends parties...
going to bed everynight exhausted beyond exhaustion....
not having sex....
of feeling guilty that there isn't a dad....

BUT........

I LOVE MY GIRL AND WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!



Happy Halloween.....

2007-10-31T20:04:08.511-07:00

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Today, I decided to be a mom instead of a teacher. I took 1/2 day off to attend my little witch's party at school. We both had a wonderful time.
Kiran went trick or treating tonight with her cousin and a friend. They were very excited to come home and go through their "loot."
Mary



It has been almost a month.....

2007-10-05T18:48:35.389-07:00

Life is moving quickly in these parts....

Kiran is in dance (tap, jazz, and ballet) on Thursday nights. She has religion on Wednesday evenings. On Monday nights, I am taking a Spanish class for Educators. It seems that is all we do around these parts is run run run.... For me it feels really good to be back in class.

I am hoping to start another Masters program this January and getting a license to teach reading. That should open many doors in and out of the Minneapolis school district. It just depends on the finances and what Kiran has going on at that point. My SIL is very supportive and wants me to do it even if it means that K might have to spend one night a week at their house.

This Global warming thing has to be for real. In MPLS today it was in the low 80s. Tomorrow the high is suppose to be close to 85. I cannot remember the last time I had the air on in October. Usually we are freezing until the 15th on the date I will finally turn on the heat.



The First Week....

2007-09-08T21:34:32.617-07:00

My class, this year, is going to be wonderful. I have a wonderful group of young children. There are a few squirrels, but I can handle it. Two years ago, I was wondering if it was time to get out of the business. I was feeling hopeless, tired, and frankly burnt out. Last year was the best year I ever had. My group was smart and well behaved. I do believe this year might just be also. It is amazing what a group of wonderful children can do for your attitude. I am still thinking of starting an administration program and becoming a dean of students some place. I love working with those naughty children. Until then I will stay with Minneapolis and keep struggling through. I am starting a beginning spanish class for teachers. Hopefully this will help with my communication between my parents and myself.

As far as Kiran goes, she LOVES school. She is excited to be there all day and told me that she is going to learn so much more this year being there all day. We start dance class on Thursday and religion class in October. Our lives will be rocking then. I would love to send pictures but seem to be missing my cable that ho0ks up my camera with my computer. When I find it I will post.

After a summer where we would seemed to have struggled everyday, life is back to normal. She is her sweet wonderful self again. I guess being in a routine is the most important thing for her. Not to mention we aren't spending 24/7 together.

I am crossing my fingers but good times seem to be in the mix for us.

On a sad note, my last principal, who we know had health issues, is dying. We didn't always get along but I had nothing for respect for him until he starting showing up for school smelling of alcohol and not being where he needed to be. I cannot get him off my mind. Kevin is a very private person, never let anyone in to his private life. During the last two weeks, one of the teachers has finally spoken with him. He is in hospice care, we are all thinking it is complications to AIDS. (His partner some 15 years ago passed with complications in Nebraska.) I was happy to know that he was allowed to take his dogs with him. They were his children. I know I need to write him a letter but seem to be at a loss for words. I would love to see him but he is refusing most visitors. During his final days at school, we had a few run ins, at this point who cares. He must have been in so much pain physically and mentally that he was trying to relieve it any way he knew how.

Love to all,



Love you all,



43 years

2007-08-30T21:09:41.308-07:00

Last Friday, I turned 43. I was enjoying a glass of wine with my SIL and I asked the question, "What have I done in my 43 years?" My SIL, knew I was a little down and replied, "What haven't you done?"

My list of things not accomplished but would like to.......

-Never been married, would like to at some point.
-Go on a cruise...
-Go to India...
Meet Inger and family......

Things I have accomplished or have.......

Became a parent to a wonderful first grader!!!
Graduated from college and have a Master's degree in Teaching and Learning.
I moved 2,000 away from the safety of my parents to teach in Houston for three years....
Have taught some really wonderful kids over the last 20 years. Hopefully I had a positive impact in their lives.
I have been in the presence of Pope John Paul twice!
Met Bill and Hillary Clinton! (ok, I just shook their hands!)
Campaigned for Paul Wellstone...
Have attended a baseball all-star game.
Been present for two world series championships.......Love those Twins!!!!
Been to the Final Four....
Went to Italy .........

I surrounded myself with a great network of friends on and off the internet.....

I am the aunt to several wonderful nieces and nephews......

My family is terrific.....

Ok, after that list, it wasn't all that terrible. I have accomplished or done many things some people only dream of...

I love and am loved by many.....

It isn't so bad being 43 after all.....



God's Greatest Gift.....

2007-08-13T23:04:46.621-07:00

Children.

Tonight, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book and Kiran was getting ready for bed. Once she was sleeping I went into the bathroom and taped to the sink was a note, This is last of all. Until wake up say I love you, From Kiran.

What a way to end my day...........



Tears and ANGER

2007-08-04T19:14:05.367-07:00

First of all, let me say that Kiran and I have been out of town for the last week and we are just fine. We were not in the Twin Cities when the 35W bridge went down. We were enjoying some much needed R & R on beautiful Lake Vermilion. While we are there, we rarely turn on the tv or watch the news.

On Wednesday evening, our cell phones started to ring. I talked to my dad's wife, and she told me that a bridge around the U of MN just fell into the river. The rest of the evening was spent in disbelief. We turned on the tv and with the invention of satellite we watched in horror and were wandering if we were going to make it through tragedy without knowing anyone affected.

I traveled that bridge a few times a month, when I attended to the U of MN, I watch out my dorm window, the traffic and how it would back up during rush hour. I HATED that bridge because it was always so busy!

On Thursday, I learned that several of the children on the bus where students or former students from my school. I thankful that they survived. Tonight was the first time, I really have sat down and looked at the pictures cannot believe how close this one hit to home. I have cried so many times listening to the stories and watching the families who have lost loved ones.

My thanks and heart go out to the Minneapolis police and fire departments. They did one hell of a job. What does go through your mind when you get a call saying that bridge was down?

This bridge was the most traveled in the entire state. HOW IN THE HELL DOES A BRIDGE IN AMERICA JUST COLLAPSE!!! In our fine state, our governor, refuses to raise taxes. For the past two legislative sessions, they have tried to pass bills to increase state funding by raising the gas tax. He has vetoed it every time. Today I hear that he is going to call a special session in September and guess what he said it would be to raise the gasoline tax.

Why did have to take a tragedy like this to get him to change his mind? Why didn't he listen to the MDOT when they said they needed the money? Why did anyone have to die?

My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone who was involved in this horrible event.



She is not a baby anymore........

2007-07-24T16:37:19.034-07:00

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This is a new photo of my baby....... She is all grown up!



at home parents....

2007-07-24T16:31:34.624-07:00

My hat goes off to everyone who stays at home with their children. Let me explain, I teach in Minneapolis. For the first time, since I became a mother almost 6 years ago, I choose not to teach summer school. I am a over half way through the summer and going crazy. I miss the interaction with adults and think I have seen every Disney show at least twice.

We have been keeping busy but being with her 24/7 is about driving me crazy. Don't get me wrong, Kiran is the joy of my life. I have learned to treasure those times, even for 5 minutes, that we are separated. Two of my nieces are also hanging out with us. Let see, we have been to several parks, the library, a few movies, a play, a few of my nephew's baseball games. I am running out of things to do. Did I mention we painted and rearranged Kiran's room.

How do you do it, at home parents? One thing I have noticed, joining the world as a soccer mom this summer, is those in two parent households, they do tend to get a little break.

Next week we are going up to my brothers' cabin and then mommy is having a girls weekend in Wisconsin. I am sooooo looking forward to that.........

Mary



Dumb things people say....

2007-07-14T08:18:56.814-07:00

Almost six years ago, one of the most wonderful 8 month old girl arrived in my arms from India.

These are some of the comments that people have said to me:

Are you adopting from India because they are so smart in math?
Is she dots or feathers? meaning Native American or Indian
How much did she cost?
When she was three, I had an educator ask me how her English was coming along.

This was the best one, Do you rub her skin every night? This person thought that because the bottom of her feet were so light, the color just rubbed off. To my disbelief, he really thought that I would try to make her skin lighter.



Finally......

2007-07-14T07:52:47.561-07:00

I am back under a new title and am happy to be back in cyberspace.......