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Preview: Comments on Dr. Deb: "Positive Direction": May The Force Be With You

Comments on Dr. Deb: "Positive Direction": May The Force Be With You





Updated: 2016-08-01T13:34:18.587-04:00

 



Hi Deb, This is a very thought-provoking post. Do ...

2008-05-02T17:16:00.000-04:00

Hi Deb, This is a very thought-provoking post. Do you have any book recommendations for Positive Direction in communication? It's not something that I am familiar with, but I think it is a very valuable skill to learn.

I try to practice awareness as I communicate with others, but would love to read more about these ideas. Cheers!



This post goes right along with high-level custome...

2008-04-26T15:03:00.000-04:00

This post goes right along with high-level customer service training. In the world's finest resorts and restaurants, employees are trained to never use negative words like "can't, won't, and don't". Rather it is always taught that the customer should be offered available options in a positive matter, accentuating what can be done, not what can't.

But that Obi-Wan was such a smooth talker :)



I have an award for you. You can pick it up at my ...

2008-04-25T04:54:00.000-04:00

I have an award for you. You can pick it up at my blog. ;o)



Everyone who reads this will send money to me, so ...

2008-04-23T08:29:00.000-04:00

Everyone who reads this will send money to me, so much that I will have $20,000 in a very short period of time.



Deb, This is such good stuff isn't it. Easy to wor...

2008-04-22T18:46:00.000-04:00

Deb, This is such good stuff isn't it. Easy to work with. Great post, thanks.



Dear Therapydoc,LOL!Dear Ellesu,I think using such...

2008-04-17T13:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Therapydoc,
LOL!

Dear Ellesu,
I think using such language in test writing could make test performance better!

Dear JIP,
Negative is bad!

Dear S'Onnie,
It is hard to re-train to talk like that. But maybe if we can do it now, we can raise positive speaking and thinking children!

Dear OHN,
I knnow. I cringe when I hear such things too.

Dear PJ Mpmmy,
I thought it might fit, so thanks for including it in the carnival.

Dear Mel,
I refrain from subsribing to feeds as it too much for me to manage. Thank you, though, for the invitation.

Dear Alan,
You are so amazing. Maybe that is one of the keys (pun intended) that helped you endure in the job so well and so long.



Working somewhere that usually only deals in negat...

2008-04-17T04:33:00.000-04:00

Working somewhere that usually only deals in negatives, I've always tried to work it the opposite way...

Perhaps why what little hair I have left is gray, but at least I can feel good about my effort!

alan



Hi Friend,May I request, if it is not too much of ...

2008-04-17T00:20:00.000-04:00

Hi Friend,
May I request, if it is not too much of a burden to you, to please subscribe to my Feedburner Feeds either through email or to my RSS Feed Reader. You can find them at the upper portion of my sidebars at all my blogs. This will save you the time of going over to my blogs to find out if I have made a new posting. The FeedBurner will automatically transmit, either through email or Feed Reader (whichever you choose), any new post that I make. This will facilitate linkages between us. I will do the same for you if you have your own feeds, but if you still don't have I will still visit your blog as often as I could. Just inform me via email or through your comment in any of my blogs that you have already enrolled in any of my feeds so that I can reciprocate your gesture. I will appreciate it very much if you could do this as it will definitely boost ranking for my blogs. Thank you very much for your usual kind cooperation and patronage of my blogs. God bless you and your loved ones always.



Thank you for submitting your post to the Mommy Mo...

2008-04-16T23:53:00.000-04:00

Thank you for submitting your post to the Mommy Monthly carnival at Pajama Mommy. We've included your post into the next edition. It will be posted on the 30th of this month so please stop on by and check out the other participants.



I have always tried to talk to my kids like that. ...

2008-04-16T18:47:00.000-04:00

I have always tried to talk to my kids like that. It completely un-nerves me to hear a parent in a store screaming at their kids to "shut up" and other derogatory comments. From the time my boys were little they knew by a look from me if they were getting too out of control and if they backed off a bit, it was always met by a smile. They certainly are/were not angels but they have learned to find the positive in any situation and I think it is because that is how they were taught from the time they were small. You know the old , "make lemonade out of lemons" way of looking at things :)



It can be hard to use positive direction but I hav...

2008-04-16T04:27:00.000-04:00

It can be hard to use positive direction but I have found that it is immensley rewarding as children particularly respond incredibly well. I know when we were redirecting a child who was doing things that were "naugty" we would use positive words to move the childs attention to another topic and then when that was done we were able to talk about what they could do instead



negative thinking is dangerous but.... its also th...

2008-04-15T19:57:00.000-04:00

negative thinking is dangerous but.... its also the ahrdest to get rid of once it starts to seep in, one negative word outweighs for us a million positive it is soemthing we are working on in our therapy this year. Along with not taking other peopels negative things on us as ours to own when it might be their transferance instead onto us



I like this! It works on academic tests, too. We ...

2008-04-15T18:53:00.000-04:00

I like this! It works on academic tests, too. We tend to overlook the negative words on test questions. ....Or so I've been told.



Well said. The more hypnotic, the better, Obi Wan....

2008-04-15T15:49:00.000-04:00

Well said. The more hypnotic, the better, Obi Wan.



Dear Mysti,As with all things, sometimes they work...

2008-04-15T14:32:00.000-04:00

Dear Mysti,
As with all things, sometimes they work, other times they don't.

Dear Lone,
Your beading makes me smile and feel positive every time I visit.

Dear SCott,
I remember learning Positive Direction and telling my teacher that it sounded so much like "The Force". He laughed and agreed.

Dear Traci,
I have found it to work well with my family. Especially with my hubby. "Please put the seat back down" is a bathroom winner.

Dear Scott,
I do think words have powerful effects on us. And how we heal.

Dear Fallen,
I also use this approach for my own internal dialogue. Sometimes it helps me to bypass a bad behavior - usually involving chocolate.

Dear Nancy,
As Mysti mentioned above, sometimes things work with kids and then other times they don't. The best parent we can be is the one who keeps trying to find out how to teach and reach their kids.

Dear Donna,
I strongly believe AND see that every little bit helps. No one is perfect, but trying is what it's all about.

Dear JAde,
Yes, especially a person with a developmental disorder. The repetitive style makes Positive Direction more effective. It takes practice to use it. I still flub it from time to time ;)

Dear Saurkraut,
I took a class in Positive Direction in grad school too!! It can be effective. Not a guarantee, but a good solid chance of getting someone to be more cooperative.

~Deb



I used to teach this style in a Management Skills ...

2008-04-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

I used to teach this style in a Management Skills class (Masters Level) at a major college here. I find it to be HIGHLY effective. But you have to work on retraining yourself to communicate that way.



Positive Direction is used DAILY with my clients w...

2008-04-15T12:40:00.000-04:00

Positive Direction is used DAILY with my clients with autism. Especially since they have the tendency of repeating what they hear. So its better to speak in a way in which appropriate for them to speak. It also helps to limit their behaviors and noncompliance's. Great info Deb. Thanks for sharing.



When my daughter was growing up, I tried to rememb...

2008-04-15T12:19:00.000-04:00

When my daughter was growing up, I tried to remember to say things in a more positive way, just like your examples. I didn't always remember to do this, but at least I tried :) I really think that a positive spin can make a real difference in responses.

Donna



Some more great advice, I was sort of a 'tell my k...

2008-04-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

Some more great advice, I was sort of a 'tell my kids what to do' or a 'you should do' type of parent. It worked great for my daughter (the 1st) but with my son it backfired 99% of the time. When he was about 16 I finally figured it out. Now I tell them how I would handle things but they were/are responsible for their own actions. It has helped build the great relationships I have with my 20 and 21 y/o now. If there was only a manual when the kids were young.



I can see how this would be helpful with kids...al...

2008-04-15T08:07:00.000-04:00

I can see how this would be helpful with kids...also with my own internal diologue!

I have adopted a "Yodaism" for my speech class...
Try not. Do, or do not. I love that, and it is working well for that particular class!



Great post Deb, I have had depression all of my l...

2008-04-15T02:55:00.000-04:00

Great post Deb, I have had depression all of my life but have been recovering for the last year and am doing well. Amongst other things I find the words that we use to be so important towards the way we perceive things. One example is I no longer use the word "problem", I now use the word "challenge". By doing this the situation takes on a different outlook. Thanks for the post!

Scott Becker



I couldn't believe the difference when I learned t...

2008-04-15T00:57:00.000-04:00

I couldn't believe the difference when I learned to do this with my children when they were younger. Great info as usual Deb.



Hahahahaha! Jedi mind tricks work on kids? Wait un...

2008-04-14T19:18:00.000-04:00

Hahahahaha! Jedi mind tricks work on kids? Wait until a kid says, "What do you think you are; some kind of Jedi? Waving your hands around like that? I'm your kid--mind tricks don't work on me. Only allowance!"



I'm all about spreading positivity through my bead...

2008-04-14T18:55:00.000-04:00

I'm all about spreading positivity through my beadwork & blog posts! :D



Good post. I have tried this with my sons, works...

2008-04-14T18:54:00.000-04:00

Good post. I have tried this with my sons, works with one, the other well...... lets just say some teens are more stubborn then others and wont like any answer that differs from theirs, no matter how positive you say things. :)