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Preview: Comments on Dr. Deb: The Power of "WHAT"

Comments on Dr. Deb: The Power of "WHAT"





Updated: 2016-08-01T13:34:18.587-04:00

 



What an excellent post. Simple, easy-to-remember a...

2008-07-09T06:44:00.000-04:00

What an excellent post. Simple, easy-to-remember advice that we can all use. Thank you.



Dear Stephen,So glad you liked it.Dear Ph.D.,YEs, ...

2008-06-20T06:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Stephen,
So glad you liked it.

Dear Ph.D.,
YEs, why implies blame. An excellent point!



Excellent post! Very important and helpful point....

2008-06-20T01:32:00.000-04:00

Excellent post! Very important and helpful point. I think you are taking a page out of my workbook : )

I'd also add that "why" tends to imply blame. As if there is a culprit, a wrongdoing. What and how questions leave the accusations out of the equation. What and how paves the way toward a solution, as you say.



I liked that, very much.

2008-06-17T13:59:00.000-04:00

I liked that, very much.



I liked that, very much

2008-06-17T13:58:00.000-04:00

I liked that, very much



Dear Therapydoc,I do play scrabble, but I need to ...

2008-06-17T09:49:00.000-04:00

Dear Therapydoc,
I do play scrabble, but I need to play the old fashioned way. I have to see and touch the tiles to play well.

Dear Awake,
Hmmm....blogger has not been treating me well these days. Sorry it got spammed.

Dear HP,
What if is just like a why for me too. I try to leave the ifs the shoulds and coulda's off my list ;)

Dear Kahless,
See if it works and let us know.

Dear Lone,
Exactly!

Dear Denise,
Why is a common question and even I get lost in it sometimes. The idea here is to put the brakes on the why and shift to what can I do. Hopefully it will work and get you out of a bad emotional or situational place.

dear Wanda,
A good strategy, right?

Dear Angel,
So glad you foudn the post meaningful.

Dear Traci,
Why is a very important question so long as it doesn't bog us down and keep us stuck.

Dear JIP,
So true. Same for me.

Dear Ms. L,
So glad you found the post useful and helpful.

Dear Awake,
Yes, sometimes seeing the big picture can make us feel that change is impossible. It is always best to break things down into tiny bits. Like little steps with big celebrations along the way. It is hard, but keep at it.

Dear Cardiogirl,
A little elbow grease and mindful concentration can help us get out of the why cycle and into the what mode. So glad you found the technique helpful.



Such a simple statement and yet something I have n...

2008-06-17T07:38:00.000-04:00

Such a simple statement and yet something I have not come up with myself in 40-years of living. Profound and profoundly helpful. Thank you.



I have asked "what I can do to make things better"...

2008-06-17T05:19:00.000-04:00

I have asked "what I can do to make things better". But it seems that the answer has so much time, and work involved. I'm not good in breaking things up into more manageable pieces, but I think that is needed.



oooh my gosh,that's perfect.What a great thing to ...

2008-06-16T22:07:00.000-04:00

oooh my gosh,that's perfect.
What a great thing to ask oneself.
Thank you,for this awesome tool!
it never would have occured to me,lol to ask What.



we used to ask why until we like you realised ther...

2008-06-16T20:55:00.000-04:00

we used to ask why until we like you realised there was no answer, what or how are changable words they make you continue because they get youi to find a way, why only depresses us



This is a good reminder for me. I once had a thera...

2008-06-16T01:48:00.000-04:00

This is a good reminder for me. I once had a therapist who called me his "why" client. I always want to know the "why" of things. Why does that work? Why do I need to do this? Why do you ask me that question in just that way? I'm working on being more of a "what" person however I'm kind of a "why" person naturally I think?



Hey Dr Deb! Wow, I re-read this post several times...

2008-06-15T21:06:00.000-04:00

Hey Dr Deb!

Wow, I re-read this post several times, and I really think that it is so simple yet so MONUMENTAL to try to ease ourselves into saying "what" (can I do) instead of "why" (does this happen) ...wow at least for me, this was an eye opener, and one that I plan to write down and try to put into practice! Thanks for sharing this!

Angel



How very true.

2008-06-15T18:12:00.000-04:00

How very true.



There has been no real answers when I asked Why. S...

2008-06-15T17:05:00.000-04:00

There has been no real answers when I asked Why. Sometimes I still do ask why but its more something I ask out of frustration than actually seeking the answer with that question. Im finding it hard to ask the What? questions lately but I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know your right the What questions are more productive to ask than the whys. Im struggling with my depression right now and your blog reminded me that the what will get me somewhere sooner than the whys will. Thanks Deb, Denise



Why ask why? Instead, ask what the reason is... ;)...

2008-06-14T20:39:00.000-04:00

Why ask why? Instead, ask what the reason is... ;)



Interesting; I ask a lot of why's. Next time I wi...

2008-06-14T18:12:00.000-04:00

Interesting; I ask a lot of why's. Next time I will think what.

Cheers!



Excellent post, Deb. What seems like such simple a...

2008-06-14T01:32:00.000-04:00

Excellent post, Deb. What seems like such simple advice yet such powerful possibilities.

I'm not much of a "why" person but I can be a "what if.." person if I'm not careful and that too can trap you in that ruminative, circular process.



Hi Doctor Deb, I hate to be the barrier of bad new...

2008-06-13T14:08:00.000-04:00

Hi Doctor Deb,

I hate to be the barrier of bad news but... When you left a message on my blog, a copy of it went to my e-mail SPAM box. Sorry, but it appears that may have been labeled as SPAM some how.(?)



As we used to say in the 60's, Right on, sister. ...

2008-06-13T13:51:00.000-04:00

As we used to say in the 60's, Right on, sister. (Oh, and do you play scrabble? we could do facebook)



Dear Winrob,I get stuck in the why's too. Then I r...

2008-06-13T12:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Winrob,
I get stuck in the why's too. Then I remind myself of What. Then I get rolling. Hope you do so soon as well, my friend.

Dear Cracker,
Sometimes just being, without working on the why's, is a good thing.

Dear Battleweary,
I don't think it is always necessary to have the answers to the why questions as well. Sometimes moving forward with what and where etc prove more healing.

Dear Queen,
You are so going to be the Queen of What soon!! You gotta believe it to be it.



I am the Queen" of why! I am stuck in that circula...

2008-06-13T12:22:00.000-04:00

I am the Queen" of why! I am stuck in that circular, never ending rollar coaster. I never realized it till my therapist helped me see it recently. It is going to take a lot of work to teach this dog new tricks, but I am willing and hopefully able to learn. Great post Dr. Deb



Often, there will never be an answer to "why"...it...

2008-06-13T12:12:00.000-04:00

Often, there will never be an answer to "why"...it's hard to remember when looking at "things" that happened in the past. But what is definitely a far better option to explore.



This sounds kind of like my own therapist, who smi...

2008-06-13T11:01:00.000-04:00

This sounds kind of like my own therapist, who smiled knowingly when I began with, "I don't want to cry, and I really don't want to talk about my stupid, sucky childhood right now. I'm here for today." Glad more feel as she does.



Dr Deb, thanks I needed this advise, I have been i...

2008-06-13T08:07:00.000-04:00

Dr Deb,
thanks I needed this advise, I have been in a why mode for a while



Dear Tart,I hope you visit often.Dear Tiddly,Chang...

2008-06-13T07:58:00.000-04:00

Dear Tart,
I hope you visit often.

Dear Tiddly,
Changing thinking patterns is such an important part of therapy! You inspire me!!!

Dear Psychiatry,
Well said as well.

Dear Deb,
Yup, solutions!

Dear J.D.
Why can be very helpful, but the timing of why is often what keeps many of us stuck. I so agree.

Dear Ian,
So your gene pool is writer friendly!

Dear Miranda,
I think it is simple advice.

Dear Mary,
It is hard when you are spinning in the cycle of why's. Try to use a STOP LOOK LISTEN approach. Stop asking why. Look for a way out. And listen to your instincts when planning your escape route.

Dear Tracy,
I think it can be so helpful. It takes a bit of practice, but once learned, can be a great step toward healthy thinking.

Dear GOM,
I have the same experience. The softening of my senses and neuropathways contributes greatly to my grumpy tendencies.

Dear Palmtree,
What first, then why later.