Subscribe: Air Out My Shorts
Added By: Feedage Forager Feedage Grade B rated
Language: English
angry phone  aoms  buttons whore  buttons  dreamy dean  eley  new  preston buttons  preston  whore  word whore  word  year 
Rate this Feed
Rate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feed
Rate this feed 1 starRate this feed 2 starRate this feed 3 starRate this feed 4 starRate this feed 5 star

Comments (0)

Feed Details and Statistics Feed Statistics
Preview: Air Out My Shorts

Air Out My Shorts

Join podshow hosts Preston Buttons and The Word Whore as they clumsily narrate their way through submitted works of Short Fiction: often absentmindedly, always drunkenly, and completely unencumbered by any relevant credentials.

Last Build Date: Wed, 24 Jun 2015 11:00:00 EST

Copyright: 2015

173 :: Octopussy

Wed, 24 Jun 2015 11:00:00 -0500

It is the Tenth Anniversary of the first ever episode of Air Out My Shorts and THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!! Eric Lehmann’s dyslexia leads to a fishy dish. James Bond... Made in Canada?? Pauly B Edwards hedges his bets on a real live girl, while The Right Rev Chumley LIVES THE DREAM of copyright-infringement-free costume carving.

Media Files:

172 :: Murdered or Worse

Sun, 24 May 2015 11:00:00 -0500

The King and Queen of “The Slush Pile” muse about their retirement and plug their much anticipated autobiography (celebratory parade to be held somewhere in Nawlins - TBA!). Fenwick Rixey sloughs off an unresolved secondhand tale of gay robs and fishy bitches. Dean shatters his dreamy image, but his wife picks up the smouldering pieces. Cyber smoke signals appreciated: 305-600-5832

Media Files:

171 :: Soory, Eh

Wed, 01 Apr 2015 11:00:00 -0500

Buttons and The Whore reminisce about the dampening properties of Link’s DNA. DocZim stocks the mailbag, but risks a polite 10-Minute Canadian Shanking. Brian Lieberman readies himself for a soulless career and a B-DOOMED future family, but he’s ALL GROWED UP NOW and we think he’s gonna kick some serious A55!

Media Files:


Wed, 24 Dec 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Seasons Greetings, to all, from Preston Buttons and The Word Whore. Thank you for your valued story submissions and your continued listenership. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Please Call: 305-600-5832

Media Files:

169 :: Toilet Jewelry

Wed, 10 Dec 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Preston pretends to know nothing about picking through historical shit, while The Word Whore yanks her OWN chain …just a little too hard. TTN’s Scott STEALS (and then messes with) priceless Artifacts. MaxMax chimes in… literally. CALL NOW: 305-600-5832

Media Files:

168 :: Zed’s Dead, Baby

Mon, 24 Nov 2014 11:00:00 -0500

MaxMax serves up some swingin’ (yet, very unclear) alliterated alcopop. Banacek’s grasp of THE NEW 'promotional machine’ is as fuzzy as the machine itself. The Whore claims to have never put 'lips to rim’, despite what’s dribbling down her chin. Buttons ruins Christmas.

Media Files:

167 :: Trick or Tweet

Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Doczim lets Buttons and The Whore play with his fuzzy little “Hellspawn", against his fuzzy little ‘better judgements’. Orange is the new Navy. Twitter is the new Electro-Mechanical Rotor Cipher Machine. Here, Kitty Kitty.

Media Files:

166 :: Freud’s Slip

Tue, 07 Oct 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Something long and white and wriggling spews up from the mailbag, courtesy of ExParrot… it’s charming! Preston indulges his poly-curious wife, every other week, and The Word Whore sprouts a second head. Dodecahedron!

Media Files:

165 :: Lights. Camera. Action.

Mon, 22 Sep 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Preston keeps his poor muttering 'missus' chained to the stove, without any ice-cream. Nobilis Reed pounds out "Lights in the Sky”. Dreamy Dean lets everyone down, again. The Word Whore fears she is being watched. And nobody breaks out in song.

Media Files:

164 :: Gorilla Whore Fare

Mon, 25 Aug 2014 11:00:00 -0500

Buttons gushes endlessly about bonding with TTN’s Scott, in Chicago, over pizza... it’s deep! Carter Lee’s Blood Fire Apes wish their mojo had never risen from the silent safety of the bag. Disco Lou set to marry his high school sweetheart... again! The Word Whore can no longer settle for Plan D.

Media Files:

163 :: Assless Pants

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Hobbits and Dwarves and Trolls... Oh My!! Preston Buttons and The Word Whore make a steaming-hot-mess-pile of "O'Malley and The Gnome" by MaxMax. Dreamy Dean's aging rock-n-roll balls are holding up quite well, despite winter's bitter chill and Benicio Del Toro's firm grip.

Media Files:

162 :: Cake or Death

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 07:00:00 -0500

For Preston Buttons, true romance is best served shrink-wrapped and vacuum-packed. Mike Dominic's purple prose dangles meatily from his giant Presbyterian plunger. The Whore Whore fearfully awaits the wrath of The French... and some people actually called the codio-aumment line!!!

Media Files:

161 :: And The Winner Is...

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 07:00:00 -0500

The Official AOMS Drinking Game has resurfaced! Preston Buttons hangs up his air guitar. Witch Doctors attack The Word Whore with an airborne shoehorn. The thrilling conclusion of Brian (BDOOMED) Lieberman's "Atrophy and Apathy" is aired out... AND the winner of the first ever Air Out My Shorts Summer Raffle, ever, is announced!!!

Media Files:

160 :: Apathy and Atrophy

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons goes into labor. The Word Whore just can't get a grip. Brian Lieberman has a bad case of the varsity blues (or what would be referred to on the Mediocre Show as "white people problems"), in part one of the promised BDOOMED graduation episode special. Disco Lou voulez-effin-vous his way around Europe. Meh!

Media Files:

159 :: Joy and Pain

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore throws up in public and there is much rejoicing! Doczim bends over backwards to bring us another PLOT PLUNGER plunge, but he buggers it all up. While Banacek claims to be recovering quite well from his latest marriage, he's already seeking out "the widow maker". Hotness decreases with age... Go figure.

Media Files:

158 :: Fill That Hole

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Mrs. Buttons becomes a Monk. Das Rad is Das Loud. Simon Green "Trolls" the Interwebs. Brian (B-Doomed) Lieberman is "all growed up" and making his generous parents proud by dabbling in porn. Happy Birthday Word Whore!

Media Files:

157 :: The Smell of People

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons fancies himself an enlightened Renaissance Man. Katherine Heigl is the new Midol. Unlike The Word Whore, it would seem Nobilis Reed's new orally-gifted "Girlfiend" DOES have a tail. Despite high hopes, Angry Phone Guy stays in his box. Ribbit.

Media Files:

156 :: Jerk Off Party

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons gets hot and wet and suddenly becomes much more interesting to The Word Whore. MaxMax 'tickles the fancy' of the wrong rodents, but it's consensual. Layers of Freudian layers are peeled, as The Mediocre Show's "Lady Tomorrow" makes The Whore all warm and fuzzy. Disco Lou gets old. Run Cannon, Run.

Media Files:

155 :: Small Potatoes

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons puts a sock on it. Kevin Smith makes The Whore sad. Tim (Rhys!) Davies deletes his first draft and "counts", instead, on his cleaning woman's succulent lobes. Steve Eley scrapes a dead gecko off The Word Whore's boob, but steers clear of her vestigial tail.

Media Files:

154 :: Bigger Than Jesus

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 07:00:00 -0500

All the veils drop as Preston Buttons and The Word Whore scratch their seven-year itch, commit a few deadly sins, and bring you all the wonders of the world on this 7th Anniversary episode of Air Out My Shorts. Steve (The General) Eley suffers from Penis Envy. Countless Argonauts stop Screaming. MaxMax gets on his high horse. More than seven braincells were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Media Files:

153 :: Crime and Punishment

Sun, 12 Jun 2012 07:00:00 -0500

And so it begins... the Zombie Apocalypse: last one to the safe house is a (not-quite-yet) rotten egg! Joseph Jolton elects to give Preston a sore throat, cuz he isn't getting enough action at home. Herr Hardluck experiences a little car trouble on the MacArthur Causeway. If "love is all around", The Word Whore might just make it after all.

Media Files:

152 :: Worm Can

Fri, 18 May 2012 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons likes dick, just a little more than The Whore does. A nice clean Dwarf named Hortenfangle takes a tasty little Plot Plunge... MEDIC!! Ryan Saunders claims ownership of Steve Eley's snot. Amber agrees to get naked, if The Word Whore will tell her what to do. TTN's Scott strangles a cat.

Media Files:

151 :: Barfly Blisters

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 07:00:00 -0500

AOMS 2012 "Come Back Tour" kicks off in NYC (with KATG) and crashes near Chicago, after plundering TTN's 250th Episode. Thomas Sullivan writes in on fancy new fangled post-its. The Whore doesn't know SHIT from SHINOLA when it comes to baseball, but she's certain Bass Players do always come second (Lead Singers consistently get first crack). Buttons takes a whiz in the TARDIS.

Media Files:

150 :: Stinky Pinky

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 07:00:00 -0500

TWW doesn't take kindly to the role of damsel in distress, but Sir Micheal Beckwith rides in on his trusty steed to stave off a close call "pod fade" and to spur AoMS back into lackluster action. Buttons drives like an old woman.

Media Files:

149 :: Taint Stains

Wed, 04 May 2011 07:00:00 -0500

Although Lagomorph's "Plausible Reality" reads more like inconceivable fantasy, it leaves an unbleachable mark on The Word Whore's soul. "The General" (S. F. Eley) artfully ESCAPES his Salinger-esque reclusion, just to pop Preston's three-way cherry.

Media Files:

148 :: Tricky Tongue Tricks

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons and The Whore play catch up, but the refrigerator gets away and the freezer remains a challenge. Preston falls under the EMO spell of Macedo's (muh-SAY-doe's) "Bad Kids". Angry Phone Guy rails against becoming The Word Whore's mule.

Media Files:

147 :: Puckered and Pixelated

Wed, 12 jan 2011 07:00:00 -0500

Turns out Mama's squeezebox and Papa's brand new bag are one in the same. The theme thong does belong in the toilet. The Whore debuggers censorship, Hashashan rebells, and Miss Holloway designs a tissue dispenser worthy of the cover of Good Housekeeping.

Media Files:

146 :: G.S.W.

Sat, 27 nov 2010 07:00:00 -0500

The Whore struggles with a mouthful of metal, while getting rubbed the wrong way by alotta vegetable shortening. Buttons brings all the gadgets to the party, but his tiny fingers can't do the walking. Professor Swayze picks Full Monty over Peeping Tom. Banacek explores his hungry Episcopalian side.

Media Files:

145 :: SNAFU

Sat, 30 Oct 2010 07:00:00 -0500

This Halloween, The Word Whore talks about something totally else. Buttons finally erases his head. Hugh O'Donnell airs out his North American armpit and his 85 year old meat. Keith McNally --afraid of heights and of taking a shot in the dark-- exhibits no fear of being on top.

Media Files:

144 :: Breaking The Seal

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore is a teeny tiny bit WAY TOO DRUNK, but that's another story. Still, Astromat is kind enough to take time out from "The War" to launder her pants after a night of level one cow tipping. Buttons finds time to stop and smell the roses, even after Metamucil.

Media Files:

143 :: Ash To Mouth

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons likes brown butts and he cannot lie. The Whore's family tree is infested. The Countless Screaming Argonauts conduct experiments on a plethora of penguin droppings. 191 Randall Crescent checks his teeth at the door, so he can speak fluent trailer park.

Media Files:

142 :: Foreign Franks

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore is Cee Lo Green with envy that Jacquetta COULD have it: it was in her face and she DID grab it. A pudgy little man, with a head for radio, helps Just-a-Joe give "Swimming With Sharks" a Makeover. Buttons might know what love is, if only he could pass inspection and enjoy the go.

Media Files:

141 :: Effectus CXLI

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons and The Whore walk like mummified Egyptians down memory-loss lane, but all roads lead to Rome. Jules Quinn takes a Nimbus MM to his "Writer's Block". Captain Peter (Easton) Wilkins rewinds back to MDCX to perform acts of Rock-n-Roll Piracy in front of the Prime Minister.

Media Files:

140 :: In The Toilet

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Five years down the drain, but Buttons and The Whore are flushed with excitement. Undarlegt reveals what's beneath his Icelandic pants, Banacek tries to C'Mon to Dreamy Dean, and Link drops a few Anniversary surprises.

Media Files:

139 :: Deja Vu

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Oh no, it's happening again! Buttons and The Whore get buzzed on Sesame Street, Hashashan gets cold feet, and nobody wants to even think about that Egg Hunt.

Media Files:

138 :: Teetotallers Yodel

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Preston wants to be a part of it, while The Whore just seems intimidated by Keith Malley's Triple Threat status and his new foray into Fine Art. Dave Stites is truly awesome, and also boasts true awesomeness, but he has clearly never given NOR received a BJ.

Media Files:

137 :: SAUCED

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons finally forces The Word Whore to examine his banana. Magic mushrooms in the shower cause recurring fungal flashbacks. Katie is a girl!! But, once she grows some balls, the evening is totally wasted.

Media Files:

136 :: Simultaneous Tastings

Mon, 30 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Preston's semi-annual trip to the grocery store raises a few eyebrows. Mister A. Bell cuckolds the Drabblecast in three short spurts. Slurrishessly, the Word Whore ponders how often one should plug.

Media Files:

135 :: Irish Spittle

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Having adopted Paganism for all the naked snakes, The Word Whore washes Preston's Catholic mouth out with the Blarney Stone. Z J Maplin stops being such a stranger - SCHWING! Party on, Whore. Party on, Buttons.

Media Files:

134 :: Geeking Out

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons is a busy man. The Word Whore is very aware of her bathing suit area. MaxMax's candy-ass dragon mixes it with love-is-a-battlefield and makes the world taste like Cat Stevens.

Media Files:

133 :: Logan's Lurk

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons stalks The Word Whore's Aunt. The Word Whore stalks James Purefoy. Life clocks are a lie. Carousel is a lie. Hair sniffing has never seemed so dirty. No one has to die at 30!

Media Files:

132 :: Technical Constipation

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons clenches. The Word Whore drifts. Jon and Scott still need tetanus shots, after pummel-assing a short hyena. Hashashan boom-boom-pows a buddy for a teriyaki tongue sandwich.

Media Files:

131 :: Playing God

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore chastises children and smites sunflowers. Brian Lieberman offers a burnt sacrifice and snuffs a bush. Preston would sow some seeds, but he lacks the constant flow of nutrients to his stem.

Media Files:

130 :: Inner Child

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500

Canada is big. Keith McNally gets a chance. Starman serves up a mean bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. Buttons is forced to find his voice, because The Word Whore's is infected.

Media Files:

129 :: Phallic Allergy

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500

With or without professional dancing bugs, Buttons might get old before he dies. The Word Whore Shatners all over Francis Scott Key and his little internet pimp too.

Media Files:

128 :: Coyote Itchy

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons and The Whore suffer a minor story stroke and accidentally rehash Hashashan (complete with identical banter, all these "years" later). Thankfully, BDOOMED is on hand with the vaseline to help put it away wet... again.

Media Files:

127 :: Naked Lunch

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, counsel. Oh, the ironing! The Whore has sketchy memories of her noisy chinese roomate's strap-ons. Nobilis throws a hen party: pack a lunch, BYO (juice) Box.

Media Files:

126 :: Down With OPZ

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore likes it white and floppy. Dustin Manly loves to waggle his fishy bits, but finds it rather hard to smile with his pants down. Buttons takes an octuple shhhhhhh and swims in it.

Media Files:

125 :: Verbal Leakage

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Fancy butt bling settles Preston's upset stomach. The Word Whore (clearly under the influence of agrarian pharmaceuticals and cheese) plunders Hashashan's village, pillages the faux French Bible, and puts it all away wet.

Media Files:

124 :: Dinosaur Feathers

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Last call for monkeyishness! Buttons, well into his first trimester, fails to get the creative juices flowing under the tell-tale black-light. Doc Zim endeavors to erupt and fill the bag, just to hear The Whore gasp for air.

Media Files:

123 :: Whittled McDick

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Keith McNally's quest for beaver is not unpleasant. AoMS wins the Nobilis prize. The Word Whore exercises her squatter's rights, Buttons stares at goats, and somebody (outside of New York) definitely sucks.

Media Files:

122 :: Spirate Pies

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons plays with his shortwave radio. Mike Dominic pulls a spoonful of "McGonegal" out of his carpet bag. The Word Whore learns Navaho in hopes of becoming another numbered honey-glazed ham smuggler.

Media Files:

121 :: The Reflex

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons gets caught spooning at the movie theatre. Aria Solomon visits the doctor and opens wide. Some fishy broads lure porn-stars to their payload, while Ancient Egyptians car-jack The Word Whore's brain.

Media Files:

120 :: Zap Your Pee Ram

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500

88 Fingers Willy delivers the mail. AOMS is forced to settle for General Eley's sloppy seconds, in lieu of stories, and user-submitted urine samples, in lieu of cash. The Whore is finally put out to pasture.

Media Files:

119 :: Sole-Saving Sacrifice

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons strays from his flock. The Word Whore makes an offering to the porcelain god. Doc Zim forces Ryan Saunders to wear flip-flops in Hell. The Right Rev Chumley bathes in sacramental wine.

Media Files:

118 :: Rumspringa

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons jacks up a healthy spike, despite technical difficulties. AOMS exhumes Phil Foster. After having completely blown her roving reporter role, The Whore passes out under a warm Amish soap box.

Media Files:

117 :: Chet Anus

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore soaks the final frontier. An Entertainment Troupe tries to change the station, but falls into a prophesied void. Send AOMS your stories. Jazz hands. Cha.

Media Files:

116 :: Double Tall Skull Cap

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons continues to reject all signs of the apocalypse. Brian Lieberman cries out for a bloody coffee break. Against all odds, AOMS's four-year fungal infection persists.

Media Files:

115 :: Puck Burger

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons spews his seedy secrets, while The Whore blows her own horn. Creepy or not, Graham from Canada chooses double-entry and a veritable flood of AoMS hotline callers are foiled again.

Media Files:

114 :: Cirque Du Scissoring

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:00:00 -0500

AoMS runs away from the circus to relive prepubescent glory days. Preston asks Marianne Faithfull for his bum back. The Whore is perplexed by elective sex. Sir Michael's "LUST" gets a hands-down "thumbs up", although it might be best for Buttons to "tuck it away for awhile".

Media Files:

113 :: Side By Each

Wed, 12 May 2009 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore swings both ways. Phil Collins is a KATG groupie. Charlie Sheen has been shellacked. Buttons finds shiny bits of Harry Potter in his potty. Void Munashii's neo-noir cinderella story, "Nick Iron and the Case of the Lost Shoe", dispenses an expanse of thigh.

Media Files:

112 :: Dust Petals

Fri, 08 May 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Preston yaks up a Manhattan for KATG. MaxMax claims "Asha" is new, but The Whore had already seen it, Buttons already owned the album, and The Right Rev Chumley erstwhile erected its Church. Neapolitan socks don't taste like strawberries and yet incense by any other name would smell as sweet.

Media Files:

111 :: Cockroach In Hand

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons makes a new friend. The Whore isn't fooling anybody. Stephanie Scarborough makes room on her rusty casting couch for a scotch-swilling EMO cowboy. Mickey Rooney survives the apocalypse.

Media Files:

110 :: Red Albino

Wed, 07 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Beloved medic, DocZim, revives AoMS from parts unknown. Asheron Razorbeam shaves off a short short in his sleep. Preston Buttons furrows his upper eye-sockets when light penetrates The Word Whore's ass-cam.

Media Files:

109 :: Unencucumbered

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore proves it's all been done. MaxMax puts the faux-fur-trim on his sisters nakedity. Banacek hits the bricks, because beer is for closers. Buttons reveals plans to smuggle a busload of Native Canadians into the States.

Media Files:

108 :: Not In Public

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons loses another leading man. The Whore tires of limb-dropping leprechauns and gives hamsters another go. Jukebox Review hosts, Honey and Dick, know lubrication is the key. Angry Phone Guy's anger management classes have really paid off, unless you're a Honey who's hiding a Dick.

Media Files:

107 :: Yukio Ono

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 07:00:00 -0500

The Whore safeguards Preston's mattress against years of Irish Spring. Yukio breaks out the champagne and teaches the Poles a thing or two about going Dutch. Lulu Fontaine finds Jesus and draws the line at Meth.

Media Files:

106 :: Magic Juice

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Fish feeds on Preston's stomach contents and Chad's leftovers. Johnny Favourite plays hide the sausage with 10,000 Maniacs. Belinda Carlisle gets the clap, but The Whore's lips are sealed. Chris Elliot continues to live.

Media Files:

105 :: Shiver Me Livers

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Preston wins another wet T-shirt contest. Clooney misses his true calling, once more, but sometimes that's just how the cooch curdles. Having failed to check expiration dates, Doctor Wood spoils a perfectly good "Sunday Afternoon". Bartender Matt helps The Whore pick out a new pillow.

Media Files:

104 :: Tickle-Me Alamo

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Preston's car-bombing license is revoked due to Alzheimer's. The Word Whore voluntarily enters a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. Sanchez sacrifices eternal life to appease the furry masses and Banachek drowns in a sea of virgin cougars.

Media Files:

103 :: Catcher In The Eye

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Mike Dominic floods the AoMS studios after studying horny hamsters, but that's another story. Dreamy Dean reinvents the rock 'n' roll death. Best Boy Electric, You Know Bernie You Know Bernstein, can't get a grip on his gaffer.

Media Files:

102 :: Nice Melons

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons sniffs out the homeless. Josh (The Listener) totally gives away "The End of The Movie". The Word Whore riffles through Tarantino's wank-o-dex with her bare toes. 191 Randall Crescent has to ferment the fruit before planting his seed, but he'll happily share the sloppy seconds.

Media Files:

101 :: Same Show, Different Pile

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500

AoMS rolls around in the warm squelchy aftermath of their much celebretated 100th. The Whore edits lamb screams from her Moussaka. A big fat Greek conflict prevents Preston from a life of piracy. John Doer doesn't know her, but he does dabble in dwarf tossing.

Media Files:

100 :: Tastes Like Chicken

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Just-a-Joe helps AoMS drag its sorry lagging arse into year 3 -- w000t! Drunk with power, The Whore blows another mic. Ernst and Young count Buttons offspring before they hatch. Chad Hanson spreads his ash, as Jim Henson rolls over in his grave. Be careful where you dip your quarter-chicken, Canada is a nice clean place.

Media Files:

99 :: Vertical Smile

Fri, 30 May 2008 07:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore takes a vow of silence. I Am Webster flashes his jugs. Dreamy Dean manages to conceal his privates, even while rolling off the rock, but Buttons brazenly unclasps his semi-wooden cloister.

Media Files:

98 :: Age of Consent

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons enjoys himself. The Whore gets stupider. William Grant Preston does "The Deed" in a dark park with Marky Mark and Slutty McSlutSlut drops the soap.

Media Files:

97 :: Saccharinly So

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Afternoon regurgitation turns Buttons green with envy. Joseph J Jolton polishes a petrified piece of Victorian feces. The Word Whore exhumes a canine corpse. Edible big bully King Minos Del Toro rallies a rabble regime, but it's all Greek to AoMS.

Media Files:

96 :: Less Thin Lizzy

Wed, 28 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons masters the telephone. Void Munashii squeezes into his ess-less unitard to fend off Gap-happy zombies in "Mallville". The Word Whore advocates tough love for self-loathing snipers. Disco Lou goes down all day long, even after his wing-man falls flat. They paved paradise and put up Mississauga.

Media Files:

95 :: My Little Pelt

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500

The new Pauly B action figure comes with its own cancer-causing comb-over cream-rinse. Lord Felton Pole reveals the secret to a successful marriage. 88 Fingers Willy flounders under parental lock down. The Whore helps vain elephants turn a lighter shade of grey and Buttons finds religion.

Media Files:

94 :: Gizzy Tissue

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500

The Whore is chronologically challenged. Fish shares his meat treat with Colonel Chicken Diddler, while Buttons suffers a stroke. Banacek rolls back from Sin City without his hand-cannon. What happens in The Gun Store, should probably stay in The Gun Store.

Media Files:

93 :: YITCH

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500

AOMS inspires the first scratch-n-sniff Farmer's Almanac. Winter rips Buttons a new one. Bill Clinton leaves an indelible mark on the lesbian community. Maqx gets mad enough to make "Mel" sing soprano. 191 Randall goes for the jugular and The Word Whore finds decapitated roosters a little tough to swallow.

Media Files:

92 :: Cheese Wii

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500

1998, the unofficial year of the hedgehog, rolls out with a rodent-infested fable by S.J. Marky and a still-un-beta-tested MacDaddy GMG debut. Preston goes back to school to learn to party like a pope. The Whore's alpha tail theory is full of gassy bacterial holes and the land down under becomes a safe haven for pie-dodging Irish possums.

Media Files:

91 :: Kiss Kiss Bag Bag

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Buttons sheds a short and curly. The Word Whore is googley peeved. Preston Buttons Jr tops it off with some royally spoofed special sauce. Dreamy Dean hangs, so the hotline (305-76-SHOWS) gets a long overdue D 'n' C.

Media Files:

90 :: Diamond Logs

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0500

This ain't AoMS. This is genocide. As they pulled Mary Kate out of the oxygen tent, Electric Lee asked for the latest party. In Wyeth's clever bunk, "How To" profit-dump, smart like The Whore he was. Preston Buttons freak he was. So pick through that bowl on your hands and knees. The diamond logs are shredders and they hide inside feces.

Media Files:

89 :: Buffing The Pumpkin

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Preston Buttons and The Word Whore serve up two heaping helpings of Purple Puddle Nut Pie. Jack Black gets no slack. Buttons has no seeds. The Whore pimps out the two of them. Happy Halloween. This is not the best episode in the world. It's a tribute.

Media Files:

88 :: Moistened and Mashed

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Rock 'n' roll is complicated. Escape Pod's Steve Eley spews all over the Expo. Buttons bakes a Hell's Angels Food Cake. In the Navy, DocZim can check out your disease. In the Navy, yes, you can contract STDs. The Whore begs for mercy.

Media Files:

87 :: Better Than Dirk

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500

The Whore lets Preston hitch his insignificant wagon to her crap-purveying star. Young Bulls guard family jewels from dear old Dad. "Demon Hunter", by Dan Manning, is much better than dirt. Buttons shops in The Underworld because redheads prefer brown, but Scott (TTN) won't wear satin to ward off Pauly B 's pond-crossing beer fingers.

Media Files:

86 :: Eat The Rich

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Kevin Smith threatens to foul up Festivas Tet!Anus. Shane Passon and Amy Mann lure exploratory foragers down their crumb-laden treasure trails in "The Colony". Strapping on Super-slider Snow Skates and setting his sights on Aspen, Angry Phone Guy tears yet another sparkly strip off the well-to-do.

Media Files:

85 :: Jimmy Hats

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Preston pees on the competition. The Whore staggers back to her roots. Mark Duhe's "Reclamation" runs Native American gymnasts and contorted eunuchs out of Kansas. Dreamy Dean gets a grip on his inner fluffer, prompting Link to run away and join the circus

Media Files:

84 :: Neutral Peelers

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Much to Preston's audible dismay, Shaggy Fancy Pants staggers by the AoMS studio to get boozed and bring sexy back. The Word Whore adds a large dose of frankness to her 'to do' list. "Broken Angels" - a FISH story of figurines loved and lost – gets much more lost than loved, in this beer-soaked trainwreck from the cutting room floor.

Media Files:

83 :: Cuba Libre

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:00:00 -0500

Preston paints Pottahawk pink. The Word Whore liberates Bula Bula Bada. Buttons performs ritualistic circumcision on Phil Foster's "Cuban Smokes" and - after riding a wave in the wake of an old Sedan - a busload of octogenarians guide Earl The Pearl through the Kama Sutra.

Media Files:

82 :: Match Game

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500

ZZ Top cancels Brazilian tour to save face. Toronto men renounce routine foot care. Just-a-Joe goes way "Over The Edge". Trapper's Better Half keeps his meat clean. Buttons just found a brand new box of matches and what he knows The Whore ain't had time to learn.

Media Files:

81 :: Smoke Monger

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Buttons bends over backwards to pay his rent. The Whore gets wrapped up in wordy nudistism. A full year past all expectation, the ink finally dries on Kennah's "Final Draft". Inept call-screener, 88 Fingers Willy, fishes for pearls and farms out his lucky prostate.

Media Files:

80 :: 10 Slot Colostomy Bag

Mon, 28 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Addiction lands The Whore an on-call Priest. Buttons gets taken out by a swinging boob. Batman isn't supposed to be beautiful, Mike Dominic gives his roommate some static, and Angry Phone Guy picks out just the right bag to go with his stain-resistant frock...for the Prom.

Media Files:

79 :: Magic Time

Mon, 14 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Buttons gets creamed. The Word Whore, delightfully wasted, plasters a big fat one on a local escort. Stunt Pig tells "Edna" where to go. The official AoMS hotline (305-76-SHOWS) finally gets a long overdue spring cleaning, though it really could have done with a proper douching.

Media Files:

78 :: Rock Snot Sexy

Tue, 23 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500

The Whore's infectious new brand of lip-service might swell heads, but the bubble bursts when it comes to keeping anal stuff in its place. Still dripping from his last nasal deployment, Ryan Saunders knows bio-warfare's snot a laughing matter. Preston fights for the right to bleed. Escape Pod's Steve Eley confirms it ain't easy being green and fatherhood is forever.

Media Files:

77 :: Trimmed Optimizm

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500

The Word Whore gives 300 Spartans a good sound lickin', but cannot get Buttons to leak his boobie secrets. William Kelly whips out "The Family Jewels". Disco Lou makes sure The Whore's nipples are covered, while his 'friend' tidies things up in Man World.

Media Files:

76 :: Chewbacca's Ladyplace

Tue, 11 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Flagrant misuse leads to the removal of TWW's box. Stephen Eley's "Year of the Fox" continues to explore some very slippery slopes. A lifelong aversion to mathematics finally limits The Word Whore in bed. Buttons fears fatist slurs may effect T-shirt sales. First time call to Earl The Pearl sends large slobbering dogs howling.

Media Files:

75 :: Zitted For Your Pleasure

Mon, 10 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Buttons punches himself in the face, as The Whore digs five years worth of sand from the grill. Shelly has big boobies. Lulu has a perfect package. Part one of "Year of the Fox" by The General - Escape Pod's Stephen Eley - reeks of humus. Angry Phone Guy isn't allowed to yell at us anymore.

Media Files:

74 :: No Hablas Espanol

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0500

Preston pulls out all the stops and finds it to be a bad idea. The Whore goes blind doing double phone duty. The ghost in the machines set the night on fire. "Conduit" by jethro6mil is electrifying.

Media Files: