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Driven to Deep Center

Philadelphia Phillies Baseball

Updated: 2018-03-05T16:55:37.103-05:00




(image) This post is actually six months overdue. It will most likely be the last one made on Driven to Deep Center. I suck basically and stopped updating daily back in May after I graduated from college. Before, when I was in school and in a steady routine, it was very easy to make regular updates and write my feelings on the Phillies. And the six or so months I kept up with this blog, it was a blast. Some of the regular readers were what made this page fun to load up every morning. But unfortunately I fell out of love with writing for it. I think I'd rather read other people's feelings on the Phightins.

So if you come across this page for whatever reason, please direct yourself to We Should Be GM's . They were basically the inspiration for this page to get started. But don't click there if your a tight asshole with no sense of humor. They aren't allowed.

And always check out Beerleaguer, Balls Stick N Stuff, I've Made a Huge Tiny Mistake and The Good Phight.

Anways...Go Phillies, Die Mets. Hopefully one day I'll be back to post on a daily basis. Hopefully some will care.

(image) .
and one last time for old time's sake:

The Only Countdown That Has Ever Mattered...Ever...




I'm not worthy...


I thought of close to a thousand things I could say about this team, this season, and this city. I could write homages to dozens of players and recall hundreds of moments that led us to the division title. I could even take a few cheap shots at the Mets (since I can't stand them). But when it comes right down to it, I'm not worthy to talk about this magical team. They deserve a Disney movie made about them. And while they still haven't even played a playoff game, for someone like me who was just 8 years old the only time I saw them in the playoffs, this is the best baseball-related moment of my 22 year old life. So once again, I am not worthy to speak of this moment...

.....and since I allowed this blog to turn into a wasteful abyss, I shouldn't be allowed to comment anymore about this amazing season.....but I'm sure I will.

A Confession....


I spent most of Thursday watching replays of Werth stealing 2 bags, Iguchi singling him home and Utley's walk-off single. I honestly watched the 9th inning close to 100 times.
....and it was one of the best days of my summer.




This shouldn't even be considered a post. I just need to get one thing off my chest: Fuck ESPN and their Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts. WOW! NO ONE CARES ABOUT BONDS ANYMORE!!! STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!

And Joe Morgan is an absolute fool. When Burrell walked in the first inning and wasn't really being held on at first, his exact quote: "Burrell can run."

He makes Sarge sound like Socrates.
Hopefully I'll start doing this more
Oh...and go Phillies, die Mets

The Old Folks Home: Philadelphia and Retired Numbers


With a drought of recent championships spanning 24 years, it's no wonder the City of Brotherly Love is disjoined to its own history. That being the case, one cannot be volcanically angry that certain numbers are not retired in the city's "Big Four" of the Phillies, Flyers, Eagles and Sixers, but the fact that a few names are not raised into the rafters does a diservice to the legends that have meant so much to the blue-collar fans of Philly. Some have brought championships, others just took hold of the hearts of the fans, but either way, here are three numbers that simply MUST be retired. What's missing from this picture? Here's a hint:Yup, the heart and soul of the 1980 World Champion Philadelphia Phillies, Tug McGraw. Ok, sure, he coined his trademark phrase, "Ya gotta believe!" with the hated New York Mets, but the guy is a Phillie through and through. He loved this city, and even became good friends with a local bartender who may or may not have fathered a very sexy young man who may or may not be writing this blog. (Ok, I'm biased)Regardless, the above picture is one of, if not the most iconic photo in the history of Philadelphia sports. The joyous, emphatic jokester leaping into the air after striking out Willie Wilson with the great maroon "45" emblazoned on his chest is seared into the memory of Phillies fans. Currently, Tom Gordon holds that number, but A.)He hasn't really done much with it, and B.)He may not be around much longer anyway. Tug represented everything decent, honest and fun about this city and should be remembered at Citizen's Bank Park for as long as it stands. Should Tugger have his numbered painted on that brick wall? Well, ya gotta believe.The Sixers do a good job of retiring numbers, and the Eagles have a severe lack of recent heroes and did good by the fans by retiring Reggie White's number 92 in December of 2005. The Flyers, however, have been woefully remiss in their acknowledgment of their own rich history. Currently, the Flyers have retired the numbers of Bernie Parent (1), Barry Ashbee (4), Bill Barber (7), and Bobby Clarke (16). In addition, no one has worn 31 since Pelle Lindbergh's tragic death in 1985 out of rememberence and respect, but it is not officially retired. So, taking into account the unspoken gesture for Pelle, there are three Flyers legends who's numbers should be hoisted into the rafters in South Philly. I don't know if a double-retirement has ever taken palce before in professional sports, but here is a case-in-point example of a great place to start. Reggie Leach was the "L" in the "LCB Line" of himself, Bill Barber, and Bobby Clarke. He scored 45 goals in his first season with the Flyers (their second straight Cup-Winning season) and won the Conn Smythe Trophy in 1976 netting 24 points in 16 playoff games even though the Flyers lost the Cup to the Montreal Canadiens. Flyers fans from the era will always remember "27", "7" and "16" racing down the ice for the old Broadstreet Bullies.Ron Hextall was an icon between the pipes for the Orange and Black. Just like Leach, he won the Conn Smythe Trophy for the Flyers in a year that they did not win the Stanley Cup (they were ousted in seven games by the Oilers in the '87 Finals). He was also the first goaltender to score a goal (he did it again in '89 to become the first to do so in the playoffs). Putting aside his goal-scoring prowess, he was also the toughest netminder to ever put on a pair of skates and frequently leveled opponents who got too close to the crease. This guy WAS Philadelphia.Only five players in the history of the NHL have ever won the Conn Smythe Trophy as a member of the losing team in the Stanley Cup Finals. Reggie Leach and Ron Hextall are two of them, and two of only three (Jean-Sibastian Gigure the other in 2003) since 1970. I'd love to see the day where "Leach/Hextall" sat above a giant black "27" in the rafters of the Wachovia Center.(edit: The Washington Nationals [...]

Utley, Cole, and Rowand: All-Star Game Running Diary


So Driven to Deep Center is back with a vegenence here at the halfway point of the season. The Fightin' Phils are 4 1/2 back and some of their finest are playing in the Mid-Summer Classic. So I decided to do a running diary, Bill Simmons style. Also, yours truely will be featured on the new Phillies Podcast starting tomorrow at So, without further ado, let's see how the All-Star Game went.8:21- Old-timer’s game of MVP Baseball 2005 ran late so I’m just getting to the All-Star Game. Game ended when Jackie Robinson scored from second on a ball hit by Eddie Matthews…Ty Cobb was pissed.8:25-Shakey camera work by the awful employees of Fox during the starters intro makes my buddy, John say, “I’m getting nauseous and McCarver hasn’t even spoken yet.” God bless Fox Sports.8:26-Introducing the 2008 shortstop for the Boston Red Sox, Number 3, Alex Rodriguez!!! (followed by Tigers 2nd Baseman Placido Polanco, which makes me sad)8:27: Bonds gets introduced to cheers (strange to watch) followed by Griffey, which makes me think of my steroids theory. Everyone seems to agree that Griffey would have been the Home-Run King had he never gotten hurt, and Bonds has gotten there with a pharmaceutical leg-up, and isn’t even grateful. He’s gotten away with murder and he’s still a dick to people. So I believe in my heart of hearts that Griffey (unabashed LOVER of the game who is the consummate good-guy) should get three to five years of taking steroids for free, just to see what happens.8:30-THIS IS OUUUUUUUURRRRR COUNTRAAAAAY!!!!8:33-Creepy a capella “Star-Spangled Banner” with two dudes giving each other bedroom-eyes through the whole song…Ty Cobb is pissed.8:34-F-18 flyover accompanied by U2 music. When did U2 become the go-to background music for movies and television? No wonder Bono is spending most of his time in Africa, just out of sheer embarrassment.8:36-Video tribute to Willy Mays in San Francisco. Ted Williams said the All-Star game was made for guys like Mays. Ty Cobb calls Teddy Ballgame a race traitor.8:37-Mays comes out on the field being led by the hand by Bonds. The closest analogy I can make to this is if George W. Bush came out for the State of the Union on an ATV wearing the Constitution as a diaper and dragging FDR on his wheelchair by a rope.8:42- Commercial for “Back to You” starring Kelsey Grammar playing a news anchor named “Crasier Fane.” Bask in the originality Fox, bask.8:45-Pizza just got here, blog might suffer.8:52- My buddy John says National League is a “stone-cold lock” to win the game.8:53-Ichiro leads off the game with a single for the American League. I laugh at John.8:57-Double-play for the NL. Watching Jose Reyes toss it to Chase Utley leaves a bad taste in my mouth…time for more pizza.8:59-David Ortiz’s necklace looks like lost Aztec Gold.9:00-Chase Utley inaugurates the Chase Utley Face, as Prince Fielder drops one of the easiest tosses ever. I have a feeling he makes the same one when Burrell strikes out because he’s taking a phone call from Heather Mitts…AJ Feely is pissed.9:05-Joe Buck tells me how to feel for the first time tonight, saying “Bonds SHOULD be here.”9:07-Bonds pops out.Ok, here’s something that pisses me off. Joe Buck is fine with Barry Bonds as a human being but Randy Moss is worse than Hitler? So, let me get this straight, defraud the game, cheat, and usurp its most hallowed record, and you’re a misunderstood hero. Faux-moon Packers fans and you’re in OJ territory? People like Joe Buck are the reason people get so upset over shit like Don Imus.9:12-It’s STILL fun to watch Ken Griffey Jr. play baseball.9:13-Griffey plays for the Reds. Pizza sauce is red. Griffey wants me to have another slice.9:16-DHL commercial joking about Kenny Lofton getting traded to the Red Sox makes me shit my pants.9:25-Tim McCarver basically calls Russell Martin’s[...]

Sopranos vs Philadelphia


The Sopranos just ended and so did my faith in television. Read on if you were a fan of this show and watched last night's finale.

What's worse: Watching a television show for eight years only to see it end in the most horribly shitfilled episode ever...or...watching your 95 million dollar baseball team get completely manhandled by one of (if not the) worst team in baseball?

Or maybe I should add in the fact that Jose Mesa is a Phillie. What's worse: Trusting Sopranos' creator David Chase to close out a once brilliant show...or...trusting Joe Table in any inning?

What about Freddy Garcia? What's worse: The whiny little bitch character that AJ became...or...Freddy Garcia's pitching and his injured shoulder?

And how about Charlie Manuel. What's worse than him? Is there anything? As bad as the Sopranos finale was, it doesn't come close to the wretchedness that is Uncle Charlie.

You know that feeling you got in your stomach when the episode just cut off and left you with a "what the fuck, I hate life" feeling? Is that worse than being a Phillies fan?

I know why we all love the Phillies. We grew up with them. If you liked the finale of Sopranos, then I envy your optimism.

Pictures say a thousand words


It has been waaay too long since I've last posted...but I feel it is, yet again, an appropriate time to post these pictures:......two of these players are homos. Can you guess which one is reeking of heterosexuality? Here are some hints:And here are two more pictures to perfectly describe this amazing sweep...and the pussiness of Lo DucaHere he is doing a little homo-erotic hop:And now bending over...probably waiting for Wagner to come by from the rear:Screw the Mets[...]



I'm alive and no, I don't have a new girlfriend, bloodstripes. I'm a player boy, you know that (not really). I'm adjusting/interviewing/moving/lazy/figuring-out-summer-plans ...and in the midst of all that, have left DTDC unattended and for that I apologize to anyone who semi-enjoys reading the shit I spew. I don't even know where to start for this post and it won't be very long. Within the next week, I will begin to post on a more regular schedule and such. But enough about my boring life....


I was in the midst of watching the season finale of Lost and switched back and forth during commercials. So since I can't totally give an honest recap of the win (if it can be called that), I'll just copy down some of the text messages I received during the game from my friends who were watching it.
  • "Rod Barajas is a fucking piece of shit"
  • "Brett Myers' wife is very happy he hurt his beating arm"
  • "Chris Coste anyone?"
  • "This season is over."
  • "Manuel should be kicked in the balls"
  • "Come over and screw me you big bastard" (that was from one of my honeys)
All of those were real...well...maybe one of them I made up.

What can I even say? If Myers is out for the year or an extended period of time, I would have to say this season is through. If not, MANUEL IS STILL RUNNING THIS TEAM INTO THE GROUND. Make no mistake about it, his overuse of Myers (and possibly Hamels?) is something that needs to be taken into account everyday by Pat Gillick. Unfortunately, I do not believe that it is. Then again, it is Gillick's fault Manuel has no arms in the bullpen. It is a vicious circle that leaves me crying.
So once again, I am sorry for such a delayed absence. I wish I was working on my left handed pitching (Carson) and I wish I was negotiating with pirates (Mike) and I wish I was celebrating (Jacobin)...but sadly I was just busy with "life." What a dumb thing it is anyways.

And here is something to make up for me being lazy


The Phillies beat 24


...Not in ratings or anything monitored by the Nielson Media Research. Rather the Phillies beat 24 in my heart, which I think is more important. With the Phillies trailing the best team in the National League 6-2, I thought it would be safe to watch 24 and witness Jack Bauer kick some ass. Since I'm a loyal phan, I kept the game on in the bottom right hand corner using the crafty PIP feature. But halfway through the 8th inning, there was no reason for me to keep watching 24. The Phillies, in one inning, gave me and a crowd of over 29,000 fans more excitement than 24 has all season. It was the best win of the season and is the kind of game where winning streaks are born. If you missed, I feel bad for you. Interesting sidenote though, both teams combined for 24 hits...ironic, don't ya think.

And upon watching Brett Myers record the final out of the game for his fourth save in as many chances, I have this to say: If Tom Gordon returns from the DL and is still considered the closer of this team, I will lead a brigade into Charlie Manuel's office and take him out. I know Corey and Carson will be with me and I can probably guarantee that mcd and jacobin will be there. If Bloodstripes can make it from Australia, he is welcome as well. Let's get a small army going if a horrid choice like this is made.


On another note, Spring Training started almost exactly three months ago. What would you say if I told you then, that these things were going to happen in three months:
  • The Phillies were able to win 5 straight games but still be without a sweep
  • Jimmy Rollins leads team in homeruns and hit all 9 in April
  • Brett Myers is pitching in the bullpen
  • Pat Burrell started the season hot but still hit only one homer in April
  • Jon Lieber has an ERA below 3 as a starter
  • Freddy Garcia (the innings eater) has the least amount of innings pitched as a starter
  • Even though we knew Eaton wasn't going to be a stud, that he was going to be this bad
  • Ryan Howard is hitting .204 and is on the DL
  • Wes Helms has apparently lost the start starting job at 3B to Abraham Nunez
  • Abraham Nunez is batting around .300
  • Aaron Rowand has hit multiple times in the leadoff spot and is hitting around .350
  • Chris Wheeler and Sarge would be in all nine innings and would sound THIS bad
Admit it, you'd call me crazy. I don't blame you, I'd probably slap me too.



(image) Four years of collegiate education and I am finally done with this nonsense known as school. Sure, it was fun at times, but never having to study for a test ever again or type up a paper gets me happier than Carmen Electra can. I graduated from LaSalle University yesterday and now have to enter something called the real world. Who cares right? This is a Phillies site. But I figured I should tie in the theme of graduation as it pertains to this baseball team. So what Phillies have finally graduated into stud players?
  1. Cole Hamels
    • I don't even need to give reasoning. A once highly regarded prospect who has blossomed into an ace every team would want. Second in the league in wins. Second in strikeouts. First in pimping. Cole Hamels is one player who truly deserves his own webpage.
  2. Shane Victorino
    • Finally got a chance to start regularly when Gillick gave Abreu away for nothing. He did enough to earn a spotting start in 2007 and thus far has done more than enough to keep it. One of the best arms in baseball. Amazing speed/defense. Third in the league in stolen bases and will probably become the leadoff man in the next couple years, if not months. It is safe to say that Shane should be around for quite some time.
  3. Carlos Ruiz
    • Philadelphia has been starving for a catcher to make us smile. Ruiz comes with defense and pop. He has above average speed for a backstop and has come up with some big hits. He leads NL rookies in hitting and is in the top 3 or 4 in many rookie categories. Manuel, for some reason unbeknown by me, continues to trot him out batting 8th behind suckers like Nunez, Werth and Helms. Chooch has, however, won the starting job over "super veteran" suckass Barajas. Thank God.

And since I was busy with school activities over the weekend, here is my lightning quick weekend wrap-up:
  • Burrell is awesome.
  • When did Dobbs learn to hit?
  • Lilly may have dominated us, but his last name is still lilly...which is a flower
(image) ....homo

Time for some much needed optimism


After Randy Johnson struck out the first six Phillies he faced, I rested my head down on my pillow and started to dose off. After a day of work, I was far too exhausted to sit through another offensive-less game by our "powerhouse" baseball club. And by luck, fate or the grace of God, I woke up just as Burrell was getting walked in the 7th inning. The score was 3-0 and the Diamondbacks were heading to their bullpen. Still a little sleepy and out of it, I hear that Ryan Howard is coming in to pinch hit...Yesterday, the horrible pessimist in me asked the question "Why are we Phillies fans?" Well the answer became clear again last night in the form of Harry Kalas with the help of Howard.Bases loaded with nobody out. LONG DRIVE TO DEEP RIGHT FIELD. GRAND SLAM HOMERUN, RYAN HOWARD!!Now I'm not going to declare that all is good in the hood of Phillies baseball, but how many times do we get to be optimistic? So lets look back at this previous series and pick out the good:Starting pitching:Garcia went six strong giving up 2 runs. He could have went more but was pulled for a pinch hitterEaton went seven innings and gave up 3 runs. It was his second best start of the season and brought his ERA waaay down to 7.43!!Moyer did his thing. 7+ innings giving up 3 or less runs. What more can we ask?Brett MyersHe only got in one game but recorded 6 outs for his 3rd save in as many tries. Do we finally have a reliable closer?Uhhh...Wow, I think that's it.The Phillies have experienced their share of April showers and could be in line for another June Swoon, so what do the Phillies have to do to ensure that this won't be a Gay May?13 of the next 19 games will be played in the friendly (sometimes) confines of Citizens Bank Park. And no matter how much we verbally kill Gordon and Madson, they are very big parts of our bullpen. If the Phillies can hover around .500 until they get back and help to stabilize the relief corps, we should still be okay. And here are where the big IFs come into play.IF Ryan Madson comes back healthy and continues to pitch the way he had before he went on the DL, we have a decent 7th inning guy to compliment GearyIF Tom Gordon can come back and not completely suck, we may have a set-up manIF the rest was good for Ryan Howard and he learns how to make contact again, we may have our slugger backIF Eaton shows that he isn't as bad as 8.18 and can hover around 5.00, we may have a chance to win when he pitchesIF Garcia was treating April like a Spring Training and can get us into the 7th inning on a regular basis, we won't cry every time Gio Gonzalez is mentionedIF Pat Burrell stops playing this practical joke on Philadelphia and gets his power stroke back, we may finally get some more homeruns on this teamAnd the biggest IF of all: IF Manuel gets kidnapped by pirates and taken away to some mysterious island off the coast of Africa, we may win a few more games...if onlySo for the month of May, I won't be losing sleep over a record that is .500 or even sub-.500. It is asking a lot of any fan (especially Phillies phans) to remain optimistic and patient in the face of hardship, but if we are still somewhere in it when we get this team healthy again...we still got a shot.[...]

A very random assortment of Phillies thoughts


Two interesting tidbits (all prior to last nights game)Of the 14 games the Phillies have won this season, the offense had to score 6 or more runs 11 times to win. They scored 5 runs once and 4 runs twice. So basically, on average, the Phillies need to score over 5 runs to win a game.The Phillies are averaging .9 homeruns a game. They have hit only 29 in 32 games. Imagine this number if you take away Rollins nine inexplainable homers in April.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yours truly is a staunch believer that a lineup greatly affects the outcome of a game. Maybe someone smarter than me can explain Manuel's lineup.RowandVictorinoRollinsUtleyBurrellDobbsNunezRuizThe top five I'm decently satisfied with. I'd much rather see Victorino leadoff than Rowand. But why is Dobbs (a .188 hitter) batting 6th and Nunez (a .125 hitter vs righties) batting 7th...both ahead of Ruiz (a .293 hitter)? Maybe I'm just nitpicking every move Manuel makes, but I honestly can't recall a manager in recent history to make me shake my head this much.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------I google-image searched Abraham Nunez and for some reason this picture of Angelina Jolie popped up:----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chase Utley is such a man and loves women so much, that after he noticed the jacuzzi at Chase Field was full of bikini-clad women, he hit a homerun to them. These girls then all fought each other to the death to see who was truly worthy to hold Utley's balls.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------I really don't like Baxter the Bobcat, the Diamondbacks mascot. He just seems evil. I bet the Phanatic would kick the shit out of him.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Have you ever seen Conan O'brien's If They Mated? It's where they take two celebrities and guess what there children would look like. An example of Derek Jeter and Anna Kournikova:=Well, my super computer has this technology and I mixed our past GMs. So what if Ed Wade and Pat Gillick mated:=I was going to post a picture of an ugly monkey or a donkey, but I felt that with how much these two have tortured us the past decade, they must have some connection with the devil himself.........14-19 Someone tell me again why we are Phillies fans?[...]

Pat Gillick vs the NL


Well, I apparently hit a hot button yesterday with the Sopranos, so I'm going to stick to something more agreeable today. The subject of Tuesday will focus on the ineptitude of Pat Gillick. Not as a just a GM, but as National League GM.

Gillick's three previous stops as a General Manager have been Toronto, Baltimore and Seattle. Yea, we all know he "built winners" there and has gotten every team into the playoffs, blah blah blah. The one thing that I think plays heavily into these equations, however, is the League Gillick was in: American. I'm not saying that it is easier to put together a team in the AL, just that Gillick can't do it in the NL.

(image) There is one major difference between the NL and AL, and that is obviously the Designated Hitter. Having a DH affects two major areas. The first being the bench, since pinch hitting isn't as crucial and double switches are not as relevant. The second is the bullpen, since there is no spot for the pitcher to hit, you can basically leave your starter in the game until he tires or starts being ineffective. And regardless of what you may think about our light-hitting outfield or our 3rd basemen or Adam Eaton, the biggest flaws on this team are currently the bullpen and the bench.

The Bench:
  • Nunez - .220 AVG / .533 OPS
  • Dobbs - .194 AVG / .547 OPS
  • Barajas - .195 AVG / .719 OPS
  • Werth - .273 AVG / .671 OPS
  • Bourn - .235 AVG / .703 OPS
I don't expect allstars to be warming up the bench, but this is clearly a sub-par group of players. Bourn is good for speed and I guess Nunez has a good glove, but what more can you really count on these guys for?

The Bullpen:
  • Rosario
  • Hernandez
  • Castro
  • Condrey
  • And we used to have someone named "Smith" in there too
All four (five) of these players are AAA players at best. Castro will develop into a better pitcher with more seasoning and Condrey has been decent in blow-out situations, but none of these pitchers really deserve a more prominent role than that of a "mop-up" reliever.

Look, Gillick clearly knows more about baseball than I do. I just wonder if he has grasped the concept of how important a bench and bullpen are in the National League. Add all of this to the fact that we have Charlie Manuel as our manager. A guy whose previous stop as a manager was in Cleveland, an American League team. Giving him 4 minor leaguers for a bullpen is just asking for trouble.

Simply put: We have an American League GM with an American League manager playing in an American League-sized ballpark trying to put together a National League team.

...maybe that is the problem

Sopranos & Entourage


Sunday Night Baseball is okay. I love getting away from Wheeler and Sarge for a day, even though Jon Miller and Joe Morgan are no great replacements. And I love seeing our boys in red getting national coverage, even though the greedy bastards at ESPN only televised last night's game because of Balco Barry. And I do love ESPN's high definition a lot better than Comcast's. But when the Sopranos and Entourage are also shown on Sunday nights, it sends my life into conflict. So I can't talk about last night's win in too much detail, besides the first three innings and the last 2. I will instead bring these two television shows into today's post and compare them to two pitchers.= Cole Hamels= Roger ClemensLet me explain... and if you don't watch these television programs, I apologize.Cole Hamels is an all out stud. If you read this site or any other Phillies blog out there, you already know the infatuation that we Phillies fans have with him. Example: Cole Hamels Facts. And at only 23 years of age, we can expect greatness for many years to come. Last night's game is an example. Even with a retard playing 3rd base, Hamels was able to overcome some early struggles and gave the Phillies enough pitching to win. There is no ceiling for Hamels' career and even when the Phillies suck, watching him every 5th game will be an event.And much like Cole, Entourage is amazing. Every episode (like everyone of Cole's starts) is an event and is sure to please. Only in its third season, Entourage will delight fans for years to come...just like Hamels is expected to do. It is a show about 4 best friends doing hot chicks in LA with one of the best characters of all time, Ari, playing as an agent. What's not to like? I find it hard for anyone to say something bad about Entourage, much like you can't say anything bad about Cole. Because if you do, chances are Hamels will kill you.Then there is Roger Clemens. The man who I hate with an indescribable passion. He is setting one of the absolute worst precedents for baseball players. He is a legend and will undoubtedly make it to Cooperstown, but to pull this "I'm going to wait until midway through the season and PICK what team I want to play for" routine every season makes me violently ill. And to be making 28 million dollars is just an f-ing mockery. And on top of it all, he doesn't even travel with the team during a road trip if he isn't scheduled to pitch. During yesterday's Mariners/Yankees game, he announced to the crowd of New York jackasses that he is coming back to the Bronx. WHAT A FREAKING SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE SEATTLE TEAM!! That was George Steinbrenner's way of saying "Hey Mariners, we can buy our way out of our problems. It's a shame you don't share this luxury." I could rant about this for hours, possibly days. So I'll stop it by showing this picture of Clemens right before he makes man-love with Joe Perry. Look at the frosted colored tips on his gay hair.And much like Clemens, Sopranos has gotten me in quite a rage recently. This show started out as one of the coolest series HBO has ever shown. But much like Clemens, I have grown to hate it. Now in its final season, Sopranos has been one of the bigger disappointments of 2007. At the end of every episode this season, I get the same feeling of rage deep inside my gut that I did when I heard the news of Clemens returning to the Yankees. Both Roger and Sopranos have started out amazing and are now ending with frustration. Sopranos does, however, usually showcase naked strippers, which is something Clemens can never give me.[...]

I Hate the West Coast


Stupid California with its stupid different time zone making this stupid team play late into the night. I hate it when games start at 10 o'clock. Some people have to go to bed early you know! It is currently 1:15 in the morning as I am writing this and I can't take much more. The game started off great. Runners were being driven in with left and right by Phillies hitters and Adam "Gavin Floyd" Eaton was pitching well. Something was fishy.

Good starting pitching from a bad pitcher + runners not being left on base = a twilight zone...or as I call it, a "philight zone"

Then sure enough, Eaton starts sucking and we must go to our bullpen too early AGAIN! At the time of this post, it is 9-7 Phillies. Can these bastards hold onto a game where they once led 9-2?

If I wake up and read something like "Phillies bats come alive but pitching falters" on, I'm breaking a lamp.
and sorry for saying philight zone...I thought it was clever.

also, reread this

Make this a sentence



A Mixed Bag of Emotions


I said it. I almost jinxed Philadelphia last night. After Rollins lead off with a base hit and Rowand walked, I turned to my two roommates and said these exact words: "Yo, this game is in the bag. Hamels vs Redman isn't even fair." Sure enough Utley and Howard lined out. Then Burrell popped up on the first pitch. My foot started its way towards my mouth.Hamels, our pimpass ace, gives up a leadoff double, then a homerun to Chipper Jones. By the end of the inning, Cole seemed lucky to get out alive with only 3 runs given up. I don't think I could describe to you in text the anger and extreme frustration I was feeling at the end of the first. This baby to right is the best way I can describe it.But then something uplifting happened. The Phillies battled back for four runs and knocked Redman out of the game. This caused the Braves to go to their bullpen a hell of a lot earlier than they would ever plan. Also, Brian McCann was literally knocked out of the game by Barajas. No McCann and signs of a potent offense had me feeling more like this baby now.But Hamels, who struggled in his first inning, got into another jam in the 2nd, by giving up a lead off double to Wilson. Some smart defense by Utley saved his ass. I was feeling very unsure at this point what to make of Hamels. See baby.But as we all know, the Phillies won and everything ended on a happy note for us phans. But besides FINALLY beating the Braves, the most encouraging thing to come out of last nights game is the maturity of Hamels. We are watching him grow into an ace right before our eyes. After not being able to locate anything in the first 2 innings, he settled down and controlled a potent Braves offense until the 8th inning, when Chipper went deep for a second time. My feelings during that homerun, once again, described by the baby.Another very positive note: Myers has seemed to adjust to life in the bullpen and has been the sigh of relief we have been waiting for in the eighth inning. The ninth may still be tricky, but if flash can get his curveball back, I will find myself feeling like these monkeys a lot more often:.......and don't ask me why I used pictures of babies throughout this post. I have no rhyme or reason for it...[...]

April: A look back at the month that was


All throughout spring training, Phillies fans prayed to the baseball gods to have their team finish better than 10-14. Well, at 11-14 we all got our wish. So why am I not thrilled? How about we take a brief look back at April to see exactly what happened:Week One: 1-5After being swept by the Braves and losing 2 of 3 to the Marlins, Phillies' fans started to get that familiar feeling deep inside their gut. Manuel's head was being called for by game 3 and Gillick was getting a big "fuck you" from every fan he came across. The reason?...a shitty bullpen that Pat could not fix.State of the Phan: Suicidal Tendencies. Remove all sharp objects, ropes and pills from anyone wearing red.Week Two: 2-3, Phillies: 3-8A heartbreaking loss to the Mets combined with losing the series at Shea, had the Eagles draft talk starting earlier than usual this April. The Bullpen was still a huge issue, as the offense was starting to rise up the "cause for concern" ladder. Manuel was still on the hot seat and my hatred for Jose Reyes was rising. Also, the realization that Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews would share the booth for 9 whole innings started to push some fans closer to the edge. Philadelphia held the title of "worst in baseball."State of the Phan: Hanging. The cuts were made and knots were tied. There was maybe one/possibly two good things about the Phillies at this point.Week Three: 3-3, Phillies: 6-11After two straight rain delays, fans were thankful the weather gave them a temporary break from the depression that was the Phillies. They were blown out by the Mets, then lost a tough one in extra innings to the Nationals. Myers, the opening day starter, was demoted to a set-up role in the bullpen. Manuel almost fought Howard Eskin and College Nights were getting out of control. The Phillies did win their first series, however, versus Cincinnati, which was highlighted by a 15 strikeout performance by our newly appointed ace. Also, on April 22nd, the Phillies won two games in a row for the first time.State of the Phan: Unenthusiastic. Hamels performance was stellar, but 5 games under .500 was still a big hurdle to overcomeWeek Four: 5-3, Phillies: 11-14A five game winning streak! Why did we ever doubt these guys? The offense finally woke up as the Phillies won two more series, making it three in a row. Rowand, Rollins and Utley were leading the charge and the bullpen miraculously stabilized. The hole we dug and sat in during the first three weeks was becoming smaller.State of the Phan: Hopeful. We still can pick out the obvious flaws, but you can't win 5 in a row and be that bad, can you?----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Stud of the Month: J-Roll...J-Roll J-Roll J-Roll- Finishing the month batting .298 with 9 homeruns, 18 RBIs and 26 runs scored, Rollins backed up his "team to beat" feelings. Unfortunately, he was one of the only players to do so.Dud of the Month: Adam Eaton- Making 8 million dollars for the next three years shows what a horrible debacle baseball has become. A 7.71 ERA to go along with a 1.64 WHIP, what the hell was Pat Gillick thinking?Pleasant Surprise of the Month: Aaron Rowand- I was hoping Rowand would be gone before the season started. Not because I don't like him, I just didn't think he was good enough to keep around. At .378, however, he put my foot in my mouth. I'm sorry Aaron. Forgive me?Depressing Player of the Month: Ryan Howard- At .221 and only 3 homers, the reigning MVP has hurt the heart of the Phillies order. Is it time to worry about a 2003-Burrell[...]

Miguel Cabrera still looks like the Ultimate Warrior


Pat Gillick isn't that bad of a GM. Sure, he gave 2 years to Nunez and 3 to Eaton. Sure, he signed Franklin and gave Abreu away for a bag of leftover Yankee scraps. And yes, he is the man that will ultimately be held responsible when Chris Coste kills himself. Our GM did, however, bring us what could be the most valuable pitching component any team can have: Jamie Moyer.This St. Joes Hawk has been the most pleasant surprise the 2007 Phillies could ask for. Sure, he is 3-1 and is pitching to the tune of a 2.65 ERA. But more than what he gives to the Phillies every 5th day, he is giving to the Phillies for the next 5-10 years. For Cole Hamels to be able to watch the way Moyer pitches is possibly the best thing that will come from 2007 (besides a World Series, of course). Take away Manuel's incompetence as a human being, I almost felt like he had no right to take Moyer out of the game in the 8th inning yesterday. I am not disagreeing with the move or saying Moyer should have been left in. I just feel that Moyer is almost more like a coach than he is a player. I mean seriously, when Dubee takes a visit to the mound, what can he honestly tell him that Jamie doesn't already know? Does anyone think that Dick Dubee is smarter than Moyer?After two straight games where a potent Marlins offense has collected a hit in every inning, Jamie Moyer was able to shut them down over 7.1 innings for ONLY 2 hits, which was how many hits Moyer collected himself. I don't even know what more to say about Moyer and what he means to this team. So I'll stop talking about him with this: Along with saying a little pray for Chris Coste every night before I sleep, I will now say a little pray that Jamie Moyer will one day become the pitching coach for the Philadelphia Phillies. I cannot think of a better scenario.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------I also have to bring up Cabrera's eye black again. I mentioned this the last time the Phillies played the Marlins in a day game. But why does he smother this shit all over his face? Again, I need to draw the comparison to the Ultimate Warrior:...or maybe I'm the only one who thinks about 1980's wrestling heroes when I see baseball players.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tonight, the Phillies face a daunting task: Tim Hudson. And while he has been doing wonders for my WSBGMs Fantasy League, I hope he suffers like a Sopranos fan has suffered during this shitty final season. Can Jon Lieber continue this string of strong starts? Bob Wickman has looked very rough his past couple of outings, blowing a save in Colorado yesterday. Might the Phillies be one closer to .500 after today?Either way, the Phillies have done something that they could not do the previous two years under Manuel: win more than 10 games in April. Now if we can just avoid that June Swoon...[...]

I write this at the top of the 5th inning on Saturday, April 28


Fuck Adam Eaton!

Take this gay smile back to Texas and kill yourself

You can't win them all...


...actually, yes you can win them all. But it's just too hard to accomplish. I didn't see yesterday's loss, however, I wasn't shocked by it. Things were going too well for Philadelphia. On the heels of 5 straight wins where the Phillies put up huge offensive numbers, you would think a victory is in the bag when Cole Hamels, fresh off a 15 strikeout performance, is on the mound. Well, unfortunately we all need to be reminded sometimes that we live in Philadelphia and that our favorite team is the Phillies. Need I remind everyone of the number 10,000?

(image) At this point, I am not depressed nor am I thrilled with the Phillies. I'm still very patiently waiting to see the true colors of this team. We've seen them hold the title of "worst in baseball". Then, we've seen the offense explode into a hitting frenzy. WHO ARE THE PHILLIES?! It seems to me that this question cannot ever be answered about this team. Like I mentioned in a post last month, they are consistently inconsistent...from game to game, series to series, month to month, year to year. To deal with these guys over the course of 162 games is our cross to bear.

I will put one thing into perspective, however. On April 18th, when the Phillies were a paltry 3-10, if you were to tell me that this team would have 9 wins by the month's end, I'd be thrilled. So here we are, with four games left in April sitting on 9 wins and 12 losses. We still have the chance to finish OVER .500, if not just a few games under.

Bottom Line: Many fans, including myself, were very worried that the Phillies were going to dig a hole so big in April, that the season was going to be a waste to watch. Of a burial plot that goes 6 feet under ground, the Phillies are only about 2 feet deep. Let's hope they bring their shovels to dig themselves out and their brooms to sweep the Fish.

The Official Phillies Shovel

Dugout Seats


With my current 610 internship coming to an end, my boss gave me a nice little going away present: Two tickets to last night's game, 2nd row right behind the Phillies dugout. I consider myself a humble guy and never really had seats better than the outfield. This was one hell of an experience. I got pictures posted at the bottom of the amazing view.Some quick game notes and thoughts firstRyan Howard isn't back, but he is getting there. The two-run homerun against the wind was an encouraging sign5 for 5. Do I have to say anything more about Chase Utley?Jimmy Rollins is absolutely baffling myself and the rest of baseball. 8 homeruns in 20 games is amazing. He is making a very strong case for player of the month honors.Burrell is still hitting and on-basing at a .400+ clip.Matt Smith practically booked his own ticket to Canada last night. When he was walking back to the dugout I screamed out "HAVE FUN IN OTTAWA!!" He didn't look up at me...what a pussy.Lieber is taking over nicely for Myers in the rotation. AND THE FATASS GOT A HIT!! I swear I thought the left fielder had a chance to throw him out before he got to first.I'm 1 for 1 in my prediction thus far for the rest of April.Two days ago I posted about a fan who was saying the most ridiculously retarded things during the game. I kept my mouth shut then, but couldn't refrain last night. When Burrell was up to bat with two men on, someone said "He is still hitting like .190 with RISP. Look, he only has 8 RBIs." I love jumping in on conversations to prove assholes wrong. I responded "Well Utley and Howard haven't been on base in front of him, so who is he going to knock in? Plus, he is hitting almost .400 with RISP. And his OBP is almost .500." The response from him "You like Burrell?" I responded "Yes, and I get very frustrated when fans hate on him for false reasons. He is too valuable to this team." The conversation continued a little bit longer and they started mentioning his contract and power shortage last season. I turned it all around on them. I should be on a debate team or something.Player of the game.Aaron Rowand's "I have to take a dump" batting stance.Howard prior to his homerunThe Bell after J-Roll's bombClick on this picture for an up-close look at El Pulpo's sixth fingerLook at the creepy guy with the black hat staring at these girlsI think they wanted me[...]

Why were we ever worried?


With seven games left in the month of April, the Phillies have climbed out of the cellar of Major League Baseball, and somehow have a chance to finish the month above .500. Shocking isn't it? Here is how the remainder of the games will play out.Wednesday vs WashingtonJon Lieber vs John Patterson With an incentive to pitch now (a contract), Lieber now has a good reason to give it his all every start. In Lieber's last outing, he threw 77 pitches over 5.2 innings allowing only one hit and one walk with 5 strikeouts. Being a pitch-count nazi, Manuel pulled Lieber after striking out Adam Dunn. He should be able to reach 100 pitches this game.Patterson has struggled so far this season. At 0-3 with an ERA at exactly 7.00, he has walked 14 batters and given up 20 hits in only 18 innings.EDGE: Phillies. Riding a 4 game winning streak and a smoking hot Rowand, they will be hard to stop.Thursday vs WashingtonCole Hamels vs Shawn HillOur prospect made his debut last May at Great American Ballpark. Then, our ace made his debut Saturday night at Great American Ballpark. I don't care who the Phillies are playing, it's going to be awhile before I bet against HamelsLike I said above, I don't care who Shawn Hill is, we have Hamels on the mound.EDGE: Phillies....need I say why again?Friday vs FloridaFreddy Garcia vs Anibal SanchezGarcia's two starts were nice. Nothing fancy or spectacular, but they were enough to keep the Phillies in both games. Facing a still young Marlins roster, the veteran in Garcia should be able to handle Florida's now cooled-down offense.Anibal Sanchez has been nothing more than decent. Control issues have hurt him as he has walked 12 batters. He is sporting a 4.15 ERA. I don't foresee another no-no from him.EDGE: Phillies. A better starter with a better offense should be enough to lift them. It's no given and will probably be close considering the fact that our bullpen cannot possibly remain this dominant. This would be a 7 game winning streak and would put us at .500.Saturday vs FloridaAdam Eaton vs Dontrelle WillisEaton has been nothing above average. Carrying a 6.46 ERA into this one, Adam has done little to earn the 8+ million dollars he signed for. Take away his first start, however, and his ERA drops to a mediocre 4.73. We hope for the best when he takes the hillWillis has been shaky his past two starts, but is still one of the best April pitchers out there. It is never fun to face the D-train, and this will be one of those times.EDGE: Marlins. If Eaton can at least keep us in it, however, we should have a good chance at pulling out with a win. Our best hitters thus far, Rowand and Burrell, are right handed and may deal Willis some pain. Let's hope so.Sunday vs FloridaJamie Moyer vs. Rick Vanden Hurk?Dating back to last September, Moyer has turned the young Marlins hitters into his bitch. Winning already against them this April, and 3 times last year. Still rocking a solid 3.38 ERA, Moyer couldn't have done more for the PhilliesI'm guessing Vanden Hurk being the starter. It may be Mitre, I don't know. Either way, I'm not too scared.EDGE: Phillies. Moyer has shown no sign of weakness vs Florida. After a tough loss vs Willis on Saturday, the Phillies will be fighting back against whatever bum Florida throws out there. Back to .500 at 12-12.Monday @ AtlantaJon Lieber vs Mark RedmanNot much will change since his Wednesday start. Jon still has that contract to pitch for.[...]