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Last Build Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2018 01:42:15 +0000

 



In response to the NYTimes articles on antidepressant withdrawalssriGiannaKalissri

Sun, 22 Apr 2018 15:04:38 +0000

Some of us have been on the front lines figuring out this stuff years before anyone was publicly acknowledging it. I am sharing this info and collection in response to the two recent @nytimes articles. 


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What does it mean to heal?harmony-1229893_960_720GiannaKali

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 11:37:34 +0000

Healing to me does not mean returning to what one was before something went wrong. Wholeness does not necessarily mean normal. And even the word recovery is problematic because, frankly, I don't want what I had before. Who wants to go backwards anyway?


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“How did this happen? You’re the most resourced person I know. “human-resources-2724192_640GiannaKali

Mon, 09 Apr 2018 21:14:45 +0000

"How did this happen? You're the most resourced person I know. " That was one of my friend's response when they heard about what happened to me in December when I ended up in the ICU with the precipitous sodium drop (hyponatremia) that almost killed me.  It happened after I took a pharmaceutical for 3 days -- the first pharmaceutical I've taken since I came off a massive cocktail of psych drugs 8 years ago. The above quoted question and sentence keeps coming back to me since, I too, have had my own version of that inquiry within.


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Beyond withdrawal…purpleGiannaKali

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 13:18:12 +0000

I see in retrospect that some core, vital part of me was always there during the drugged years, learning and remembering much that would help me in these years of coming off meds and now being med free. I no longer believe that I “lost” my life to drugs. This is, as Mary Oliver, puts it, my "one wild and precious life."


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Emotional “dysregulation” is plasticitylearning-and-neuroplasticity-in-the-brain-759x450GiannaKali

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 17:15:48 +0000

while the healing process may sometimes be radical and even violent as well as time consuming, ultimately when we've healed, we've also transformed in profound ways. Indeed, this is becoming my experience. …


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Mindfulness in trauma flowthe-sea-3025268_1920GiannaKali

Sun, 18 Mar 2018 19:12:13 +0000

There is a concept of “flow” …or stream entry in Buddhism…when we are moving along with the energetics of NOW…we are in the moment and not burdened by future or past. It is the natural state of *being here now*. (to use Ram Dass’s terminology) I’m proposing (because I’ve experienced it) a sort of flow […]


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Introducing the Mad Triangle: Identifying Trauma, Diversity, and Insight in Locations of Madness – by Chris Colepanorama-2257731_960_720adminchris cole

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 18:36:43 +0000

Mad thinkers, movers, and shakers, as well as neurodivergent and marginalized folks of numerous locations, have shown me that what we think of as pathology exists in relationship—with ourselves, each other, and our environments. Ideas that psychopathology exists in the vacuum of one's isolated experience only serves to silence discourse and marginalize divergent experiences.


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(video) New pharmaceutical brain injury and anniversarystarGiannaKali

Mon, 12 Mar 2018 13:03:03 +0000

Protracted psychiatric drug withdrawal issues triggered once again. Youtube video


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MICROAGGRESSIONS are BIG sometimesmimosaGiannaKali

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 11:01:12 +0000

how do we move in a world that wants to diminish us? MICROAGGRESSIONS are BIG sometimes.


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Working with reactive and difficult feelingsOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAGiannaKali

Sun, 04 Mar 2018 12:43:19 +0000

Sitting with highly reactive feelings is often a highly somatic experience that most people have no framework for and therefore no means to understand what is happening. It can be a very frightening thing to sit with reactive feelings.


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Learning to live again…OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAGiannaKali

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 13:20:08 +0000

This is a little collection of thoughts I've written down in the last month and a half or so. I'm still getting a grip on what happened and these are some of my musings. My best to all who visit here today and always.


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Coming homeme and paulGiannaKalinew-dir

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 22:40:41 +0000

I retired the site late last year and didn't know what the future of my work would be. I had become progressively ill with digestive and auto-immune issues in spite of eating and living really clean and well. I continued to deal with severe iatrogenic injury from the cocktail of psych drugs I came off of many years ago now. Drugs really do cause harm and I was about to discover that all over again.


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Site retired. I’ve retired.RetiredSignGiannaKali

Mon, 06 Nov 2017 18:10:14 +0000

I took the site down for a couple of weeks. I need to move on and I intend to do that. Thing is 100s of you have requested access so I've put the site back up -- I need to ask that no one contact me for consultations or assistance. I have found that contact from 100s of despairing people every year keeps my PTSD alive in ways that are frankly unhealthy. I can't help you all individually. January 2018 - update: I have discovered there is no moving on really...but there is making new healthier boundaries. this work is in my bones. the alchemy continues. 


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Chronic illnesstree-stars-1GiannaKali

Sun, 15 Oct 2017 17:54:57 +0000

My "chronically ill" body rewards my gentle persistent attentions with never-ending insights into the nature of being an embodied human. Healing is alchemy and it never ends. The sensitive body holds the entire world's pain, trauma, joy and madness within it. And yes, the suggestion is that most of us are not embodied. The conditioned self is disembodied. Coming to embodiment can be very painful.


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Body, instinct, placebo and a little Goddess Kalisamsaraadmin

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 14:40:25 +0000

**Deconstructing in order to construct. Kali at work** This has been my healing process – Kali action.  — The body had real (physical) structures for emotional/spiritual armor…they had to come down…that has been happening via an incredibly difficult heavy metal detox (and other toxins that are in the biofilm matrix). ***   Samsara rule number one: it’s […]


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Hungry ghostsghostadmin

Sun, 08 Oct 2017 06:40:17 +0000

From Wikipedia for those who do not know the term: Hungry ghost is a concept in Chinese Buddhism and Chinese traditional religion representing beings who are driven by intense emotional needs in an animalistic way. (NOTE: when I saw this I thought that hungry ghosts originated in Tibetan Buddhism but figured I was wrong. A friend on twitter just said the same thing, […]


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The shadow child grows up.goddessadmin

Tue, 03 Oct 2017 21:18:55 +0000

The shadow child, the dissociated, disenfranchised self, is the light. I bow down to her now. My GODDESS my QUEEN within me. Please speak. I am all wisdom I am your light I am the force within you. I AM. You have kept me buried for far too long. It is time to release me. […]


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When mental health professionals wear their “expertise” as suit of armorknight-2635787_640admin

Fri, 29 Sep 2017 15:05:34 +0000

Most “healing”professionals of all stripes and varieties wear professionalism like a suit of armor. This is a subtle form of lying. They hide behind the armor of their profession hoping to seem flawless and authoritative. Removing themselves from their fellow humans… This armoring is done by necessity, really. The professional is not fit to withstand […]


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“PTSD” is not a disorder…it’s seeing beyond the veil and being horrified by what we seePTSDadmin

Wed, 27 Sep 2017 18:08:14 +0000

When the horror of what the human condition really is becomes obvious (a brutally brainwashed majority that brutally harms one another) ... coming into balance with that darkness that is in every one of us takes some time and we also become DANGEROUS to the status quo, so while we are learning to integrate and contain this knowledge we become additionally vulnerable and at risk for harm. ...


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Love: At the Intersection of Anti-Racism and Anti-Stigma: By Chris Colefistadmin

Fri, 22 Sep 2017 21:48:44 +0000

Some people get confused about why this mental health advocate is concerned with anti-racism, when there's so much work to be done for anti-stigma. I don't know for sure, but my general pulse is that people think of my story as a hopeful one of recovery with severe mental illness. There's been serious substance use, body dysmorphia, alcohol poisoning, car crashes, psychosis, mania, depression, narcissistic injury, unrequited love; the list goes on and on. When I tell my story, I try to make a point to mention all the opportunity and good fortune I have been privy to in my life and in this body. Up until recently though, I had been content to let privilege be a background item—important but not critical. ...


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