Subscribe: Comments on: The Running Woman: How Do I Stop and Love?
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Preview: Comments on: The Running Woman: How Do I Stop and Love?

Comments on: The Running Woman: How Do I Stop and Love?

Advice for singles on dating and relationships

Last Build Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 04:30:40 +0000


By: Nina Atwood

Mon, 07 May 2012 16:40:55 +0000

Angelyn, What you are describing is F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real), which is a mental model that can be overcome. Over time, irrational fears can become tangled up with real concerns, so much so that it's like a huge ball of tangled yarn. What is real and what is not? Chances are you've had some negative experiences in the past that have contributed to your fears. I recommend a two-part process to unravel the mess. One, put together your VISION of the kind of relationship you want and desire; focus on the relationship qualities that you want, such as mutual respect, kindness, devotion, and so on. Two, tackle that fear of becoming invisible head on. Talk it through with an objective and caring person; a friend, family member, coach or therapist. What does it mean to you to become invisible? How have you experienced that in the past? If you weren't invisible in a relationship, what would you be? Describe in detail what you would be if you weren't invisible. Use that description to add to your vision statement of a good relationship, focusing on the qualities that you would bring in order to achieve it. For example, "I am a strong woman with the ability to clearly communicate my emotional boundaries and needs in a relationship with a man. I am resilient so that even if I feel let down or disappointed, I can handle it, and respond appropriately." Things like that. Reinforce the strength that you have in work and bring it over to the personal side. When you feel strong and resilient in matters of the heart, you can take the risk to love deeply.

By: Angelyn

Fri, 04 May 2012 11:30:24 +0000

I can relate so much to the running womans story. I have a successful career and i get so much affirmation from it that but sometimes i wonder if my job has become my husband,my family and my boyfriend. My running away in relationships comes from me shutting down and being frozen with fear when i think there is a possibility of a real relationship. I start to feel invisible and im sure guys interpret this as rejection and the wheels just come off from there. Can you give me some incite about how to get over the frozen, shut down reaction that happens when i initially meet someone that i am interested in?

By: Kali

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:31:18 +0000

After reading Marins story I thought to myself how I would answer it. I must say, I couldn't have answered this better myself. The part that I felt strongest about is giving up too soon. I believe in relationships these days people really are throwing in the towel way too early. I've been with my husband for 5 years now and there are times when we both could have ended it but that's not what a relationship is about. You are there for each other during good and bad. Obviously, if you're unhappy and the relationship isn't healthy then yes it is better for both parties to part ways. A relationship isn't always going to be easy but if it's worth fighting for, I say fight!