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Comments for Make Room For The Stuttering



We need to make room for stuttering in our lives.



Last Build Date: Fri, 13 Apr 2018 03:05:03 +0000

 



Comment on Reading Aloud And Stuttering by Stop Stuttering in 10 Min

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 03:05:03 +0000

Reading ahead helps. Instead of just reading the words one at a time, pause and quickly read the whole sentence to make sense of it. Knowing what the sentence is about before you start calling it out means that you can decide what tone of voice words need to be said in and sounds better. This way, you won't hesitate while you're trying to figure out what the sentence should sound like.



Comment on UnTamed Tongue – Episode 70 by Lipstick Warriors – Episode 175 | Make Room For The Stuttering

Tue, 03 Apr 2018 13:01:38 +0000

[…] Episode 175 features return guest Rachel Hoge, who hails from Springfield, Tennessee. Rachel was a guest here in 2011, when she was 19 and in college for her undergraduate degree. She returns now, at 26, with her Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing. You can check out her first podcast, Untamed Tongue. […]



Comment on What Would You Do? by Michael Callicutt

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 22:39:56 +0000

It is easy to say what I would do from my current place. As someone who is 36 years old, successful, and confident, I have no problem correcting someone who displays inappropriate behavior (even though it still surprises me every time I experience it). Would I have responded the same way 15–20 years ago? I'm not so sure. I have found that many people who respond inappropriately are simply uneducated about stuttering (or just ignorant in general). My advice would be to attempt to tactfully educate them on what appropriate behavior is like around stuttering… Although the handful of situations I've experienced involved more anger than tact. Regardless, every single instance ended with an apology and added respect from my peers. Any other outcome would have been socially (and legally) unacceptable.



Comment on There’s A Word For This – Ep. 169 by Pearl

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 17:26:16 +0000

you are right about that.. I have started disclosing my stutter to colleagues and also interviewers. thank you once again.



Comment on Stutter Friendly Workplaces by Living with Stuttering

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 20:48:33 +0000

I feel for this person. IT is hard. I know many people who are fluent have been looking for over a year. Hard to know if it is stuttering or the skill set. Have they educated the interviewer?



Comment on There’s A Word For This – Ep. 169 by Pamela Mertz

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 13:15:20 +0000

Hi Pearl - how great to hear from you and thanks for the great feedback. So glad the podcasts have been helping you. I would love to have you as a guest one day. I too was covert for many years and found it to be an exhausting, delicate struggle - to both speak and be heard and to be authentic. The best thing I did when stuttering affected things in the workplace and with relationships is that I owned it. I started disclosing to people that I stutter which made things so much easier for me and educated others. My work colleagues respected the fact that I was upfront and beyond that, didn't really care. I find that to be true with friends and acquaintances as well. Being true to self helps others as well.



Comment on There’s A Word For This – Ep. 169 by Pearl

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 03:35:34 +0000

I have been listening to your podcast for over a year and its so amazing and informative. I have never acknowledged my stuttering and just last year I discovered that I cope by being a covert stutterer. this road towards acceptance is going to be long one for me but I am ready. what do you do when stuttering begins to affect the workplace and relationships around ? I will keep on listening and who knows maybe be a guest speaker one day lol.. I have so much to say! Greetings from Toronto Canada



Comment on Casual Chat About Stuttering by doug

Wed, 24 Jan 2018 15:16:36 +0000

ABSOLUTELY AWESOME! Thanks Pam writing and sharing this story.



Comment on Meeting Someone Who Stutters by Lori Melnitsky

Tue, 28 Nov 2017 14:09:18 +0000

Thanks for posting. Anyone who takes a moment to teach children about tolerance and compassion makes this world a better place!



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Anonymous

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 23:08:54 +0000

Well stated.... One of so many who lived in the shadows of things that should have been. Blinded were we, who always had to look the other way. To see at the end . Realizing the view was always obscured by a haze of self -doubt. Instilled by the insecurities of the one who made us. Truly in his image in more ways than one? I will not grieve this loss, as the gain of no pain is greater in itself, than the misery amassed from time. To all those who suffered in silence. Listen to the sound of no more chaos. Revel in this piece, (PEACE)



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Pamela Mertz

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 17:38:33 +0000

Jenn - thanks for the feedback. I appreciate your thoughts.



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Pamela Mertz

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 17:37:50 +0000

Hi Dori - thank you for the kind words. I didn't start out to write this piece for the blog but as I was writing I thought what's the point if I don't share. It felt good to put on paper what was in my head. I am coping mainly by not focusing on this and staying busy. Let's see how long that works. :)



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Doreen Holte

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 23:09:33 +0000

Hi Pam. I saw that your father had passed through another post, but I remembered that you were not too connected so I didn't say anything. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. I know the feeling of hearing others paint a person as a saint - when you knew that person to be cruel and abusive. It's confusing and I don't have any answers for how to cope except to know that you didn't deserve being treated that way and hopefully we all find peace, love, and joy in our lives in spite of all of the "why me?" thoughts. Wishing you a peaceful, loving, joyful holiday. Best, Dori



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Jenn

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 21:31:33 +0000

Once again, you've given the best you can give - an open, honest, and uncompromised post. Thank you.



Comment on What Was Left Unsaid by Lori Melnitsky

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 21:19:33 +0000

I am so sorry for your loss Pam. Thank you for sharing how you felt. I hope writing this brings you some relief. We missed you at our support group. xxxoooo



Comment on More Stuff by Pamela Mertz

Wed, 08 Nov 2017 17:09:03 +0000

Hi - sorry for the late reply. What a wonderfully thoughtful narrative. I totally agree that stuttering is it's own special kind of awkward. It's so frustrating to be able to say something fluently one minute and then be unable to the next. And you're right - carry stuttering with grace is the best thing for us. As hard as that may be, it's better than being miserable. Thanks so much for sharing. - Pam



Comment on The Voices In Your Head by steve clarkson

Wed, 01 Nov 2017 01:02:26 +0000

Great post Pam, the negative self talk is a major part of the battle. Most living things are programmed to listen to the negative before the positive as a survival mechanism. It is my belief that it takes some form of focused contemplative practice targeting positive 'stuttertalk' (excuse the pun) to banish the natural negativity.



Comment on More Stuff by adamskorupskas

Wed, 25 Oct 2017 08:12:50 +0000

I am a thirty three year old dude, who has been stuttering as far back as my memory goes. One thing I think we can all agree on, is that stuttering is a special kind of suffering, indeed. It makes BACK THEN so overwhelmingly embarrassing, i often get goose bumps justing thinking about a verbal interaction as 7-11 that went horribly awry. And it makes UP NEXT even more horrifying. But here is one of those sneaky good things. Stuttering trained me to think in the NOW. Sure, when a woman, who I am in love with, in of course the most awkward way possible, ask if she'd like to go to dinner with me, and she declines. That stings. No two ways about it. But it's not like awkward social situations can kill you. I've had so many they hardly register anymore. While stuttering drives me crazy every day. I usually am sort of happy about it at some point. I could never talk. But I had a preternatural skill for writing at age six. I fell in love the firs time I got my hands a type writer in a lawyer's office. I was helping my mom clean. She went to prison when I was five. She stuttered as well. But never as bad as me. When she needed to get it in control, she could. When I needed to get it in control, that was win the words had no chance. And after a long while, someone would take pity, fetch me a pad and pen pencil, and please write it down. But no one is free from their own kind of suffering. Stuttering make it harder to see that sometimes. But it's true. In my experience, the best thing to do is carry that suffering as gracefully as possible. And if you focus on helping other people ease their suffering, instead of being consumed stuttering. Life gets a lot easier. Thanks.



Comment on More Stuff by operationdoggietreatsinc

Tue, 24 Oct 2017 04:51:50 +0000

Cute pic !



Comment on Stuttering Only Some Of The Time by Xetra

Thu, 19 Oct 2017 00:05:22 +0000

That means a lot to me ! I remember clearly me explaining "I'm not a stutterer, I just stutter, because that's not all the time" to a stranger seven years ago (I don't know if the word stutterer is really used in English ? I'm French) And from that I went a long way. About three years ago I decided to embrace that part of me and accept that it was there, which I didn't before : it was just some irritating phase, it would pass. The idea I "don't really stutter, only some of the time" is to me totally linked to this vision, to the refusing to consider its weight in my life. Now I say to myself that I may not always stutter, but the stuttering is always there.



Comment on It Is Rocket Science – Episode 171 by Amy Leggatt

Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:39:10 +0000

What a lady! Thank you Pam and Catherine for a very inspiring interview. Amy.



Comment on On Being Laughed At by Caleb Gilchrist

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 21:40:50 +0000

I stuttered and I could not get a word out and my mum copyed me and said oh SHUT UP and that's has made me so sad and I have tears in my eyes and I'm a teen



Comment on Self, Divided by Stuttering Only Some Of The Time | Make Room For The Stuttering

Fri, 06 Oct 2017 15:17:26 +0000

[…] and one who is sometimes fluent. Interestingly, I wrote about this six years ago in a post titled Self, Divided. I talked about how I often felt that I lead two separate lives – one being a covert […]



Comment on Feeling Self-Conscious by Garrison

Sat, 23 Sep 2017 22:50:53 +0000

Yes I feel that and lately it’s become worse to the point I want to talk but I can’t. A few months ago it use to be so much better.



Comment on Stuttering As A Mental Disorder by Donna

Tue, 22 Aug 2017 02:16:49 +0000

i have been a stutterer since around age 13,, and that was a lifetime ago! i am 59 now, and still stutter! i do bot condider myself mentally ill due to this, and kind of don't agree with it being classified as a mental disorder. but, if classifying it that way could help stutters get insurance paid therapy, then that would be good i think.



Comment on No, I Didn’t Forget Where I Work by steve clarkson

Thu, 17 Aug 2017 21:41:24 +0000

Hi Pam, this sounds like you have just swallowed a big pill of sensitivity and perfectionism, the stuttering drug. The people we come into contact with are not perfect and cannot be expected to meet the expectations of the 1%. I am 70 years old and could count the number of pws I have come across in my daily life on the fingers of one hand. That is one every 14 years so how could I possibly remember the last occasion particularly when a phone call provides no visual cues. Beating ourselves up over this just takes us further into the stuttering abyss of negativity. Being able to objectively laugh at the situations we find ourselves in is a wonderful therapy! regards Steve



Comment on Workplace Advocacy by Workplace Advocacy — Make Room For The Stuttering – yahoocom9523

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 00:43:46 +0000

[…] via Workplace Advocacy — Make Room For The Stuttering […]



Comment on Blogroll by Matt Roner

Fri, 28 Jul 2017 12:42:14 +0000

Remember www.stutteringhabits.com on the blog roll. Thanks =) and thank you for this awesome website.



Comment on Hide And Speak: Covert Stuttering by Pamela Mertz

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 14:33:41 +0000

Pearl - thank you for your feedback. I am glad you found the podcast and are listening to stories of other women. Hearing others who sound like us makes us feel much less isolated. One of the things you could do when you go to job interviews is consider disclosing right away that you stutter and that it does not affect your ability to do the job. Then, focus on your other strengths and having a good interview. And remember, interviews are a two way street. They are checking us out, but it's our chance to check them out too. We might not want to work for every employer that we meet. Best of luck - hope to see you here again.



Comment on Hide And Speak: Covert Stuttering by charleyadams

Fri, 14 Jul 2017 17:20:33 +0000

Hi Pearl, Where are you located? Go to the NSA website (westutter.org) and see if there is a local chapter near you. Also, you may benefit from speech therapy. The Stuttering Foundation maintains a list of SLPs who specialize in stuttering (stutteringhelp.org). You may not be able to change the fact the you stutter, but you CAN change HOW you stutter; and you can choose how much impact stuttering will have on your life (not my original words, but so true)!



Comment on Celebrating Stuttering – Episode 166 by Stuttering And Social Justice | Make Room For The Stuttering

Fri, 14 Jul 2017 13:42:52 +0000

[…] of the great workshops that I attended at last week’s NSA conference was one facilitated by Kim Block on “Stuttering Community and Social Justice.” Kim asked the audience thought provoking […]



Comment on Hide And Speak: Covert Stuttering by pearl

Tue, 11 Jul 2017 22:52:18 +0000

i just want to say thank you. I have been stammering since age 9.. but everyone ignored it because they hoped i would outgrow stuttering. Its been a struggle all my life. I shy away from anything that might put me in the spotlight.even presentations before I graduated university. at age 26, it is so hard getting a job because I get nervous and cant say anything. i am yet to understand how to cope with this as I have not seen any medical professional. I just started listening to your podcast last week and I am slowly owing my stutter because I don't think it going anywhere. but I just want to say thank you for doing what you do.



Comment on Hide And Speak: Covert Stuttering by charleyadams

Mon, 10 Jul 2017 18:09:25 +0000

Pam, It was my great honor and pleasure to present with you! I got several more compliments on our workshop throughout the rest of the conference, so I think we really made an impact. I look forward to our next collaboration! Charley



Comment on Stuttering and Depression by Bablu

Fri, 16 Jun 2017 15:07:29 +0000

Hi.. I had been stuttering since last 26 years. I always avoided speaking to stranger and socializing. I did not pay much heed to my stutter throughout all these years. But recently I got the shock of my life when my 4 years old started stuttering. I started to take my stutter seriously and have done a relentless research on stuttering for 4 months and finally I found a pattern which most of the people who stutter suffer from. I devised a technique to attack the Pattern and got amazing results. I have compiled all my findings and techniques in the Free App https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kaushikbaruah.stutter&hl=en I sincerely believe you would also get amazing results by following the same technique. Best of Luck.



Comment on Stuttering and Depression by Craig Stephenson

Sun, 21 May 2017 02:53:49 +0000

You are so awesome.



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by steve clarkson

Fri, 19 May 2017 22:17:04 +0000

Hi Pam, I have been giving some thought to your article and at its core it is about how you have learnt to become a great communicator as communication involves a lot more than just speech and words. Why do we employ speech therapists when what we really need are communication therapists? Why are we fluent when we talk to babies, animals or talk in a funny voice? Because we are focused on the communication, the words are secondary. We use expression, animation and intonation. Without the pesky detail of necessary words such as our name, phone number etc. and having to explain precisely or be politically correct our speech would flow like a river! As with other problems of the nervous system it is about how and where we focus our attention



Comment on StutterRockStar by Amy Leggatt

Tue, 16 May 2017 15:35:47 +0000

Ditto LizP!



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by Amy Leggatt

Tue, 16 May 2017 07:50:58 +0000

Hi Pam. I find your approach to stammering tremendously encouraging, being more focused on being an effective communicator than fluency, and believing it is possible to stammer and be an effective communicator. Also focusing on feeling more accepting and comfortable with your stammer, rather than focusing on fluency. In my experience fluency techniques takes enormous effort and concentration, especially as I didn't;t have speech therapy as a child, and can actually take my attention away from the content of what I'm saying, and the person I'm talking to. I find myself then working on three levels, what I'm saying, controlling my stammer, and dealing with any difficult feelings of my own including how I perceive the listener to be experiencing my speech, triggering anxiety. This can be exhausting! There is a part of me, in the vein of the social model of disability which thinks, why the hell should pws have to put so much effort and time into our speech to feel it, and ourselves are ok? It is not our fault! However, I do use speech techniques sometimes, but with the intention of making it a bit easier for me to communicate, not to be accepted by others. Sorry to hear about the insensitive comments you received from those SLTs. Sounds very unhelpful indeed. With regards to speech and language therapist's reactions to pws who are accepting of their speech as it is, without wanting to change it, I guess this would terrify some, as challenges their profession (particularly with regards to working with pws) and potentially their livelihoods. I recently attended the stammering pride and prejudice conference at the City Lit, London which was exploring stammering from the social model perspective. This certainly appeared to rattle some of their cages! However Sam Simpson an SLT herself was brave enough to question the whole idea of SLT for pws, as can potentially re-enforce the idea that it isn't acceptable. I'm not against SLT per se, it can help many, and to a degree has helped me, but having not had it until I was an adult, my speech is still far from fluent, and there's a certain amount of that I'm working on accepting. To do otherwise is setting myself for self loathing, avoidance, and unhappiness, and the ideal of fluency is certainly not worth that!



Comment on I’m Sorry (for Stuttering) by Keuka College

Tue, 16 May 2017 05:02:59 +0000

Hey great post. I hope it's ok that I shared it on my Facebook, if not, no worries just let me know and I'll delete it. Either way keep up the good work.



Comment on Can Stuttering Be Cute? by claire daniel

Mon, 15 May 2017 03:27:50 +0000

I find stuttering to be very attractive... and I really don't know why. Something about the vulnerability maybe, which makes me seem like a horrible person.



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by steve clarkson

Sat, 06 May 2017 08:44:43 +0000

What a patronising pratt of a professor to say that your communication skills were almost there. He was probably one of many academics who's communication skills are not quite there! We communicate with much more than our voice and from what I have seen you have many qualities in addition to your voice Pam. Keep up the good work! cheers Steve



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by lorimelnitskyeffectivestutteringtherapyny

Tue, 02 May 2017 19:17:56 +0000

I do understand speech pathologists thinking this but it was not appropriate to ask in that manner. It would have bothered me because you were obviously educating them about your journey and explaining why you chose acceptance. I have heard you speak and you communicate better than many fluent speakers I know. As you know I do believe in improving fluency but over the years I have listened to the stories of adults who stutter and their history. I believe if more education about intervention was available possibly in a more intensive manner adults would be more open to speech therapy. As usual thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. I am a SLP and I stutter but it is not my job to judge anyone.



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by Pamela Mertz

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 19:12:26 +0000

Thanks Jenn - I definitely think I was rocking the boat a bit with some of the "old school" SLPs that were in the room. But no one left and I think we genuinely wanted to hear from each other. One SLP and professor of counseling and fluency disorders wanted to know early on what was my "aha" moment, as he said there clearly was one and wanted to know about it. I told him I was going to share that a little later in the talk but he itching to know. And he had several other good questions too. So it was his interest and that of others, that helped me see that I wasn't going to be able to stick to script and that engaged dialogue was the way to go. He asked his questions, that spurred others and we had a good back and forth. I felt like I was "leaning in" the whole time, which may be what led to such an open conversation. I hope some of them are still thinking about it today. :)



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by Pamela Mertz

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 19:04:59 +0000

Hi Andrey - thanks for the feedback. I understand that some SLP's are coming from a "correction" approach, but I had quite deliberately shared that I think we need to move away from the belief that "fluency is good and stuttering is bad." I think that's why so many people who stutter, especially those who covertly stutter, have a such a hard time with shame and really struggle with acceptance. For me, acceptance helped me to stutter better, with less tension and struggle - therefore what I meant by "fluent stuttering." I am glad you think I'm delivering an important message. And I agree that people need to hear it over and over, from many people, before they truly get it.



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by saimmaq

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 18:06:33 +0000

I think this is a perfect example of how people listen with their own biases and filters intact. You probably challenged a great many long-held beliefs and obviously a few struggled with the notion that "stuttering fluently" and being an e"effective communicator" are possible and compatible. I love your answer. I am also glad they could ask their questions. Clearly, you communicated an openness and willingness to listen to them as well as your own message of change and acceptance. I am sure some of them will be feeling some cognitive dissonance today!



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by Andrey Denisenko

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 17:32:44 +0000

Hey Pam, that's a natural question for an SLP because they are taught to "correct" it. And they often focus on physical speech impediments as the source of stuttering from what I can tell. At least as the criteria to measure fluency and improvement. I belonged there 100% until I got to NSA conference to see people being free from stuttering even stuttering, and vice versa finding people who are "almost" fluent, but being far behind with their covert stuttering patterns. You are delivering a very important message I believe. But for many (myself included), it takes more than one keynote to get it :) Thank you!



Comment on Don’t You Want To Be More Fluent? by thestutteringteacher

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 15:44:20 +0000

That question would have really bothered me too. It's as if they didn't really hear what you were saying. I also would have been upset about the 'almost there' comment. I've seen you present and you are there!



Comment on I’m An Eye Closer – What About You? by Andrey Denisenko

Sat, 15 Apr 2017 22:44:59 +0000

Hey Pam, thank you for this article! I would add that the eye contact is the way to establish an emotional connection with a person in front of us, which is maybe the real reason why we want to speak to each other and communicate. I'm working on a video about stuttering anxiety right now and eye contact turned out to be one of the main topics. So some of our ideas just matched :)



Comment on I’m An Eye Closer – What About You? by Petra Ammerlaan

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 18:49:01 +0000

I 'look away'. It's so embaressing to hold eye contact if there's a longer block. I just can't. Maybe bc of the reason you write about.....



Comment on I’m An Eye Closer – What About You? by Steve Byg

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 12:50:19 +0000

I'm an eye closer too. Not sure of the reason. I'm trying to keep my eyes open more but it is very difficult.



Comment on Br-br-br-breakfast For L-l-l-lunch by mia s.

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:38:14 +0000

This happens to me alot, sometimes i can talk fine , other times I can't say what I want ! The other day I stopped at dunkin donuts and I wanted a mocha iced coffee, I couldn't get out the word mocha , so I just said a iced coffee. I hate when that happens (image)



Comment on Glass Half Full – Episode 168 by Glass Half Full – Episode 168 | Make Room For The Stuttering – Hello, we stutter.

Wed, 15 Mar 2017 13:47:24 +0000

[…] Source: Glass Half Full – Episode 168 | Make Room For The Stuttering […]



Comment on Stuttering and Depression by Alicia Ewing

Thu, 09 Mar 2017 21:23:57 +0000

I'm a stutterer and have been since I was a little girl and I'm 46 now. I think the reason I don't suffer from depression is because I was raised in a home where I was praised a lot and told how beautiful and smart I was so it doesn't bother me that much. I still get down from time to time but I learned to love myself as a little girl so I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I hate the stutter and I've tried everything to get ride of it but now it's just a part of who I am.



Comment on Full Disclosure by Kelsey

Sun, 05 Mar 2017 03:26:44 +0000

I am a counsellor and I am selective about whether I disclose. I am similar in that I feel like I do it for my own benefit and not for my client. I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago - I was having a lot of blocks in a session and I talked about it for the first time with that specific client (we had been meeting for a few months at this point). She proceeded to tell me that she has admired this trait since we started counselling and how much she respects my work because of it. Interestingly, this opened a door for her to explore an aspect of herself where she feels limited and I was able to share about my journey to becoming a counsellor, even though it is an unlikely job for someone who struggles to talk.



Comment on Interrupting by S.P.

Tue, 28 Feb 2017 14:59:09 +0000

Thanks so much for this post and the thread. I came here looking for a good strategy to impart to my 7th grade student. I completely agree with the "be upfront" approach and I especially like it combined with the "wait a sec" gesture - it will work well in a classroom environment. I want him to feel empowered by directly communicating his needs; this is a big task for a young person - whether they stutter or not. Thanks for this resource!



Comment on Would You Take A Pill? by Andrey Denisenko

Thu, 16 Feb 2017 17:24:33 +0000

From what I can tell, speecheasy device is not a 100% cure when you use it. And for most people it doesn't change the way you speak without it, while you're not using it. So I wouldn't call it "a pill" in our case.



Comment on Would You Take A Pill? by Adam

Mon, 13 Feb 2017 19:17:43 +0000

i would take a pill in a flash. no question! the only pill i know of i cant afford is the speecheasy device. Cruelty in the worst way!



Comment on Speaking Goals for 2017 by Prof. Dr. Rolf Bindel

Sat, 11 Feb 2017 14:05:07 +0000

Comment of a therapist: stuttering is a problem of pausing for respiration - you have to contrate of the aspects of letting getting the air out after a phrase - of observation the autonomous insiration of the body before the continuation of speaking - begin speaking gently into the airflow. Speaking is bodily work, which needs assistance of unrestricted airflow. Prepairing exercice; speak voiceless only with precise aticulation - you will see, there is no stopping. Voice is secondary to the Body work in speaking.



Comment on Speaking Goals for 2017 by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 00:01:21 +0000

I should try voluntary stuttering on those days when I feel that my stuttering impedes with communication, and/or that I have poor eye contact. More easily said that done ...



Comment on Speaking Goals for 2017 by Steve Clarkson

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 00:22:58 +0000

So you are a perfectionist! Me too! I have come to realise that is our problem. Discovering the slp Mort Cooper with his take on perfectionism and stuttering took a weight of my shoulders. He contends that pws believe they have to speak perfectly when in actual fact everyone has disfluencies when they speak. The more I listened the more I understood. So now I embrace and enjoy any hesitations, prolongations or repetitions I may have. That is my suggestion. Kind Regards Steve Clarkson



Comment on Spit It Out by saimmaq

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 19:48:20 +0000

Maybe I am a bit weird, but when something like that happens I am more likely to say something like, "I'm trying to!" while laughing. I'm the kind of person who doesn't get too bothered by people trying to make a joke. It's the malicious or impatient comments that I take umbrage at, not the ones that give an opportunity to crack a joke. I know not everyone agrees with me on this. Just like there are times when I feel a twinge of relief if I am really stuck and the person I am with fills in a word. If it happened ALL the time, I would say something, but the occasional nudge on a frustrating day isn't a big deal to me. I do what is right for me given the nature of the relationship between me and the other person, the timing, and the intent. I suspect you do the same.



Comment on Spit It Out by Kaz

Tue, 10 Jan 2017 08:45:27 +0000

I think it's easy to figure out the ideal response after the fact, but it's very understandable to just freeze if someone is suddenly inappropriate - it's unexpected, you're totally unprepared to deal with it, and there's a lot of pressure to just go with the flow socially and smooth things over. I've definitely had a bunch of moments like that in the past, where in retrospect I really wish I'd said something... but it's not that easy, is it? I like your plan of going back to talk to her and hope it works out! One handy thing I did pick up from an advice blog and which I'd really like to be able to use in a similar situation now is the "Wow." That is, respond to an inappropriate comment with just "Wow.", followed by awkward silence. It's an easy one to remember, and it pretty clearly signals that you think the comment is not just inappropriate but really obviously so. That said, that sort of response may be more aggressive/shaming than you'd like - especially since you say you're careful not to embarrass the offender which, trust me, I am perfectly happy to do. ;) (apologies if this shows up multiple times, I had a bit of trouble posting this comment)



Comment on Full Disclosure by Brianne

Mon, 09 Jan 2017 02:19:57 +0000

Hi Pam! I am a masters social work student and im completing my internship in a private practice. I self disclose that i am a stutterer every time i meet with a new client. I do it for my benefit, and it makes it easier in the long run.



Comment on Spit It Out by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 16:49:18 +0000

I wish I had the guts to pull a kleenex off my pochet, spit on it, and say "It doesn't work" with a smile on my face. More easily said than done. I can totally understand that you were caught off guard in the moment. I think you plan of pulling her aside to tell her you don't like that is a good one, for two reasons: 1) as you mentioned, to (re-)educate the person about stuttering; and 2) on a more personal note, her reaction was rude; that issue should be addressed too. Good luck!



Comment on Stuck In Your Own Head by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 05:18:47 +0000

Great post, Pam. Before I joined stuttering self-help, I was not too apprehensive about stuttering before speaking situations occur. However, I would beat myself up for stuttering in this or that situation after the fact. A desire to put to rest these negative thoughts eventually led me to join and embrace the stuttering community. So glad I did. Stuttering has not turned into something that is easy to deal with every day, all the time, but at least I stopped seeing it as someting ugly and shameful.



Comment on About Me by Pamela Mertz

Tue, 20 Dec 2016 14:46:27 +0000

Hi Rebecca - I'd love to get a copy of the book. I will send you my mailing address in a separate email. Thanks so much for the feedback and including my site as a resource in your book.



Comment on About Me by Rebecca Glover

Mon, 19 Dec 2016 22:52:49 +0000

Hi Pam, I am contacting you on behalf of Chicago Speech Therapy. We are a pediatric speech clinic in Chicago founded by Karen George, MS, CCC-SLP. Our staff and Karen are advocates for the field and are big fans of your website! We appreciate the resources you provide. When we see a leader in the field we like to reach out and promote them to our contacts and followers. We recently published a new book called Getting into the Speech Grad Program of Your Dreams and listed your site in the resource section of the book. We would like to send you a free copy of the book. To receive this, please reply with a full mailing address and we will send you the book. To learn more about the book, see the links below: http://www.chicagospeechtherapy.com/free-chapter/ https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Graduate-Speech-Program-Dreams-ebook/dp/B01J4JTNI2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1469725649&sr=1-1#navbar Feel free to call us with any questions! Sincerely, Rebecca Glover Chicago Speech Therapy Practice Associate 773-673-0100



Comment on Standing Up – Episode 47 by Who Am I To Stop It – Stories from the brainreels guest: Nina G Comedian

Sun, 11 Dec 2016 16:59:35 +0000

[…] am so late to the game! It seems like everyone has already interviewed Nina G since she first started as a comic a few years ago. But did any of them have a fake competition in the middle of the interview to see […]



Comment on Full Disclosure by Pamela Mertz

Mon, 05 Dec 2016 14:26:39 +0000

Thanks Jean-Francois for your thoughtful reply. I like the way you describe it as selective vs. systematic. I hadn't thought of it in that perspective! :) Yes, it can be very empowering, as it's me making the decision. Pam



Comment on Full Disclosure by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Fri, 02 Dec 2016 20:12:14 +0000

I like the idea of selective disclosing, as opposed to systematic disclosing. Choosing to disclose or not to disclose depending on the circumstances, how you feel that day, the audience, the topic/purpose of the presentation, how long you have to present, and whether stuttering is mild or prominent on that particular day. I see it as empowering, as you are the one who makes the decision. Good advice for young folks too!



Comment on Can Stuttering Be Cute? by zhang ya

Mon, 28 Nov 2016 05:50:11 +0000

Hi, I'm a teacher who stutters. My students once said that my stuttering was cute for them. And I think they tried to give solice and understanding by saying that. I wonder whether the friend Burt you mentioned above is someone i know, who majors in music and has two children. We contacted through a site---Stuttering can't stop me, but have long been out of touch because of the site is no longer accessible for me.



Comment on Breathe In, Breathe Out by Matt

Sat, 26 Nov 2016 06:40:43 +0000

I discovered Michael Williams on YouTube about a month ago. Loving it. Take a look! It's really helped a lot.



Comment on Don’t Let Them See You Sweat by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Fri, 18 Nov 2016 00:02:51 +0000

I thought you (almost) systematically disclosed that you stutter up-front when making oral presentations. I understand your point of not disclosing because you did not want students to focus on your stuttering. Do you think students noticed your discomfort or that you were "sweating something"? If so, it would have made sense to disclose, but it's more easily said than done, specially after the fact. I think that when the audience doesn't know us and don't know that we are people who stutter, it would make sense to disclose, but there should be a balance between the communication of information vs. disclosing to make our lives easier (and by doing so drawing attention upon ourselves). Sometimes I wonder if disclosing could be perceived as if we are asking for mercy, or are kind of apologizing to the audience because we stutter; that could certainly explain our resistance to disclose. What do you think?



Comment on Listen To Those Voices – Episode 136 by You Don’t Need to Be Fluent (Ep. 602) – StutterTalk: Changing how you think about stuttering

Sun, 30 Oct 2016 11:19:19 +0000

[…] Listen to Those Voices – Episode 136 of the Make Room for The Stuttering Podcast […]



Comment on What Is Stuttering? by nicoaraalex

Sat, 29 Oct 2016 04:21:24 +0000

Biggest load of crap i heard in a very long time. I stutter since 5 and i am very efficient at multitasking, i also have a very high temper and am very hurried, i like to get things done asap.



Comment on I Want You To Meet A Friend by Jean-Francois Leblanc

Mon, 17 Oct 2016 14:23:05 +0000

I had more or less the same thought as Beth B. Perhaps her friend does not deal constructively with her stutter. She might benefit from seeing and meeting another person who stutters who is out there and dares to participate in improv classes?



Comment on Listen To Those Voices – Episode 136 by Fact Checking Voice Unearthed (Ep. 601) – StutterTalk: Changing how you think about stuttering

Mon, 17 Oct 2016 14:03:52 +0000

[…] Listen to Those Voices – Episode 136 of the Make Room for The Stuttering Podcast […]



Comment on I Want You To Meet A Friend by Beth B

Mon, 17 Oct 2016 12:50:58 +0000

Interesting story. I wonder if she wanted to introduce you because she sees how confident you and and thinks it might be helpful for her friend to meet you? So many PWS say that they don't know any others, and perhaps she wanted her friend to meet other PWSs. Just a thought!



Comment on Can Stuttering Be Cute? by Bre M

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 04:28:42 +0000

I think I'm in love that the fact that people stutter.



Comment on Can Stuttering Be Cute? by Bre M

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 04:25:32 +0000

I truly feel that stuttering is cute. I knew this gorgeous girl that stuttered a lot and I found it to be extremely cute. I loved listening to her talk, it sounded beautiful ever time she spoke. I also went to high school with this guy who stuttered and I found it sexy that he stuttered. I'm not saying stuttering is cute because I'm trying to be nice it's just that it truly is freaking cute.



Comment on Breaking Out -Male Episode 22 by Pamela Mertz

Wed, 14 Sep 2016 14:48:59 +0000

Thank you for the clarification and further information about the SSN.



Comment on Breathe In, Breathe Out by gourav moulik

Wed, 14 Sep 2016 03:37:14 +0000

it is very difficult and headache to take breathe in each sentences so tell me exercises to cure it



Comment on Breaking Out -Male Episode 22 by Brian Wallace

Tue, 13 Sep 2016 20:01:56 +0000

Lovely podcast, great hearing from Chaz Bonnar in Glasgow. Hope you don’t mind me making a correction; the Scottish Stammering Network is an independent Scottish charity which is not part of the British Stammering Association charity of London. The SSN hold monthly support meetings in both Glasgow and Edinburgh, with a new support meeting to be held for the first time this month in Dunfermline, Fife. The SSN have organised no less than seven open days /mini conferences across Scotland in only two years. All the latest for listeners in Scotland on the SSN can be found on their facebook page; "Scottish Stammering Network" (https://www.facebook.com/ScottishStammeringNetwork/) :)



Comment on Fluent Or Fluid by Steve Clarkson

Sat, 27 Aug 2016 09:27:35 +0000

Great post Pam



Comment on Talking To Kids Who Stutter by infolee2016

Thu, 18 Aug 2016 13:53:00 +0000

Hey, Pamela, I think that I could help those kids, too. What you do helps a lot for sure. So does what I do. At minimum, I don’t hurt anyone. Want to volunteer me for a talk? Best, Lee



Comment on Interrupting by Pamela Mertz

Mon, 15 Aug 2016 16:29:12 +0000

Hi Sharon - thanks for checking in and leaving a great comment and question. I too have had people interrupt me before I'm finished speaking and have found the best way to deal with it is to be upfront and say, lightly, "Hey, I wasn't finished speaking yet." And then I proceed to finish. Hopefully your 6th grade student would feel OK with a similar approach. I feel it is so important to teach good self advocacy skills to kids when they are young so they can become ingrained. I also think holding up a finger as a gesture like "wait a sec" is a good idea as well. I agree that kids hardly ever use the phone anymore - they have texting and messaging to do all that for them these days. But I worry that kids won't know how to have a phone conversation when they need to - like in an over the phone job interview. Anyway, thanks for the great comment and hopefully I'll see you again on this blog. ~Pam



Comment on Interrupting by Sharon

Fri, 12 Aug 2016 23:53:03 +0000

I am an SLP who works with a student (6th grade) who has recently reported this as his only remaining concern regarding his stuttering. Now that he has eliminated many secondary behaviors, he finds that people do not realize he is blocking, and they will begin to speak before he has finished. I'm considering this an opportunity for him to exercise his self advocacy skills regarding his speech by explaining to the listener that he was stuttering and wasn't finished talking. Maybe even using a hand gesture like holding up your finger to indicate "what a second" when actually in the block as well? I figure it is another "tool" that he could use at times if it is excessive and he feels frustrated that he is not being heard. Does this sound like a reasonable approach? Over the phone is a different issue, but I'm finding most young people never talk on the phone...they mostly just text. Even ordering pizza is done online rather than over the phone. As a result they never report any concern with talking on the phone.



Comment on Fun With Stuttering by Pamela Mertz

Fri, 05 Aug 2016 12:27:34 +0000

Hi Annetta - yes, it's been a while since I've seen you on the blog. Welcome back and thanks for leaving a comment. I'm not sure what people might think of as fun with their stuttering, but I'm thinking of being aware of how it feels when we are in a block. Instead of feeling tension that becomes uncomfortable, maybe we could feel the muscles in our shoulder and chest move and delight in the fact that they move in a certain way when we are blocking/stuttering. Maybe when we are repeating a word or syllable, we can enjoy how the words roll off our tongue and again, think of the experience positively rather than our "go to" negative thinking. And consciously being aware of smiling when we are stuttering helps to make it a less unpleasant experience. Let me know if you come up with other thoughts around this.



Comment on Fun With Stuttering by Annetta

Thu, 04 Aug 2016 21:52:31 +0000

Hi Pam, its been a while my two kids keep me so busy plus I am finally back in the workforce. Mmm I am working on getting comfortable with looking in people's eyes when I stutter and so far the result us very positive as I feel I am getting more and more comfortable with my stuttering. Having fun with my stuttering might be a bit of a stretch for me right now but I love a challenge. What can I do really to have fun with my stuttering. Maybe if I know I can begin to experiment.



Comment on The Stuttering Journalist – Episode 152 by Mai

Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:24:43 +0000

CiCi is so brave to pursue and maintain a career in journalism despite her stutter. I'm sure having a stutter while being a journalist can be quite challenging at times, so I truly applaud her for her courage and perseverance! Another plus is that she's a New Yorker, like me. :)



Comment on Being Part Of A Tribe by infolee2016

Thu, 14 Jul 2016 16:11:38 +0000

Seth Godin is also the author of the NY Times Bestseller, Permission Marketing, and he may be the most successful author of website marketing ideas. His basic point in UIV is that information spreads most swiftly from customer-to-customer, rather that from businesses to customers. Godin's concepts about communications tie nicely to his book regarding "tribes". I have never attended any of the conferences to which Pam alludes, but all such group-gatherings afford renewal of old, and the making of new, acquaintances with kindred spirits, which is always gratifying and salubrious, especially since information can be exchanged Godin-style, i.e., on a one-to-one basis.



Comment on Is Stuttering Part Of Your Identity? by Lee Gilson Lovett

Tue, 12 Jul 2016 14:09:27 +0000

Pamela, you take my breath away. It's your spirit that I love! I understand your position, but mine is juxtaposed. Franklin, as I recall, said "Reasonable minds may differ" and so do you and I. I always wanted fluency, and I believe that most can have it, if they have a good game plan and lots of resolution. I use the word "cure" in my book-title, because I consider myself "cured", because (although the fears remain and I still need to leap-frog a "block" here and there) it's virtually impossible to catch me stuttering. My goal is not to "fix" anyone; it is to "help" them have an easier life. Since my methods have made my life easier, I assume that it could do much the same for others. I have been "cured" (as I define it) for decades, but it was work to write the book; so, I put it off until the shadow of the grave hangs over me. Before I go, I want to help as many stutterers as I can. As to Skyping, any time you like. What time zone are you in? I'm in Atlantic (NY plus one hour). Mornings 8A-11A Eastern or afternoons after 3P work best during the week, and AM's on the weekends. Whatever you are eating or thinking, do bottle it, and you'll make a fortune! : )



Comment on Can Stuttering Be Cute? by Casey Leigh

Tue, 12 Jul 2016 04:43:37 +0000

My boyfriend has a stutter. I honestly think I'm attracted to it.. Or stuttering in general. I really do think it's extremely cute and whenever my boyfriend gets flustered about stuttering, it's even cuter. I have no idea why I like it so much. I think it's rather strange honestly. One of my favorite TV shows, Rick and Morty, became a favorite show of mine because the main characters have stutters. I just really do find stutters appealing I guess. Anyway, this is just my personal input on thinking stutters are cute!



Comment on Is Stuttering Part Of Your Identity? by Pamela Mertz

Mon, 11 Jul 2016 19:34:02 +0000

Hi Lee - I'd love to talk with you sometime over Skype. I think that would be a great experience for us both. As for your offer for your book, I am wary of anything that has the word "cure" in the title. I don't want to be cured - I don't think there is something wrong with me that needs to be cured. Medical diseases need to be cured, not a difference in the way we speak. I have never wished for fluency. There was a time when I was ashamed of my stuttering but now as I look back on those years, what I was really ashamed of was how I reacted when someone judged me or reacted negatively. I would get defensive, hurt, angry and have physical signs of such - red face, tightened chest and shoulders and sweaty palms. But I never recall wishing I was fluent. I just wanted to accept myself as is, with warts and all. Stuttering is part of me - it has hugely shaped the person I have become and for that I am grateful. I'm not broken, so I don't need to be fixed. Let me know when you'd like to chat via Skype. :)



Comment on Accepting Acceptance by steve clarkson

Fri, 08 Jul 2016 10:46:10 +0000

Hello Pam, Acceptance to me is something you do with your relatives, they are what they are and there is nothing you can do about it! Ownership however gives you choices you can neglect or take pride and improve. As for the "media images of perfection" It may be true for the slick professionals but some of the best disfluencys of normal people ( hesitations, prolongations and repetitions) can be heard during interviews and especially on talk back. The Brits are champions at it even some of their professionals. We don't have to be perfect.



Comment on Is Stuttering Part Of Your Identity? by infolee2016

Sun, 03 Jul 2016 13:54:31 +0000

Pamela, I love your attitude, your fortitude, your work and your spirit! There is one thing I regret about it and about many stutterers, the widespread belief that there is no way to whip or even greatly diminish stuttering, and that doesn't have to be true. Times change. Humans learn to improve themselves. As I've said before, I had a crippling case of stuttering in my teens and twenties, but after six sessions with a psychiatrist and ten-plus years of experimenting and creating my own techniques, I found ways to control my stuttering to the point that it is undetectable by others; yes, I still have stuttering fears, and I sometimes stutter but even you couldn't detect it 99.9% of the time. I'm old now; I don't need money or a career; I just want to help stutterers. Stuttering is my charity. My book (Stuttering & Anxiety Self Cures on Kindle) explains my methods. I will GIVE the book to anyone who emails me (info@leeglovett.com) and asks for it. I have been giving it away. It IS helping some people!!! I even Skype with some, as many as time allows, all at NO charge. Won't you at least allow me to give you the book and give it a try? I have zero motive other than to help stutterers. Why not accept my gift? It's not a light switch, of course; it won't turn-off your stuttering cold, but I'll wager it will make a major dent in your stuttering. You'll then have an even greater message for your hungry audience. [...]



Comment on Stuttering and Depression by adam werth

Fri, 01 Jul 2016 18:04:29 +0000

I am right here with you "Manjit"-every day I wish people would just pretend I'm not here so they would not have to engage in conversation with me. I wish I didn't have to be forced to stay alive, because that just means I AM HURTING MYSELF MORE by not being able to speak to anyone-my stuttering is extremely nasty. I too wish I could end it-but others would say "it's for attention"-I hate that cliche-it's not for attention. People need to know how I really feel if they wish to help me. What am I supposed to do...continue to live with this pain everyday?? For me-that is not an option. I wish people would not have a conversation with me when they clearly now my stuttering is very very terrible. People are hurting me by wanting to speak to me. And I hate staying alive so I can just continue to hurt by being so stutterable.. It makes me so mad at them. But I am supposed to stay positive. I have been hurt too much by stuttering so badly and not being able to speak--is there any positivety in that?? I have tried speech therapy and hypnosis...and that has not helped. I just wish I could disappear so no one would have to speak to me and so I wouldn't have to be around others. The only thing to enable me to slow down so I can stutter less is a delayed auditory feedback device called the Speecheasy. But it's $4,500. Why should anyone be forced to live when we are in so much pain??? Just because we are alive [...]



Comment on Dictation Apps and Stuttering by LJ

Wed, 22 Jun 2016 05:25:28 +0000

I don't know the answer to your question. However, I wish Siri would give me more time to get my question out. I frequently pause while I speak, trying to find a word. Siri interrupts, which is not helpful at all.



Comment on Stuttering As A Mental Disorder by Steve Clarkson

Sun, 12 Jun 2016 19:39:30 +0000

Hi Pam, Me again with a mischevious thought. Pathology is described as a branch of medical science concerned with the nature and causes of disease. So its a toss up, would you rather have a mental problem or a disease? I think it was better when they called themselves Therapists!



Comment on Stuttering As A Mental Disorder by Steve Clarkson

Sun, 12 Jun 2016 04:53:16 +0000

I'm with you Pam, definitely a head case for other things but not for stuttering!! I know what you mean, as soon as you mention psychology there is an immediate reaction. So old fashioned, crikey even our sporting heroes are heavily into psychology as a way of altering and/or maintaining behaviour. Stuttering is so much about behaviour both mental and physical and psychology is the study of behaviour. I admit I am in the lonely camp that sees struggle and aviodance as learned behaviour - you can't cure behaviour but you can change it! I am of the view that stuttering therapy is wallowing in a deep crevase between Speech Pathology and Psychology constrained by a lack of academic co-operation and who gets first dibs on the research funding. There are progressive SLP's who are introducing psychology in to their treatment but they too are constrained by professional ethics and the stigma it may generate with their patients. I see stuttering as an anxiety fueled behaviour disorder and who doesn't suffer from some form of that. Cheers Steve Clarkson