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Comments on Weight of the Evidence: Bragging Rights





Updated: 2017-12-15T19:26:57.661-06:00

 



I have a kind of weird take on the less-abortions-...

2008-06-22T16:22:00.000-05:00

I have a kind of weird take on the less-abortions-more-adoptions schtick. I used to believe that too. Then I learned some things about attachment theory, child development, and various social issues. I also considered my own experience of being unfairly demonized to the point that I lost my son permanently. (He has a central auditory processing disorder which caused him to be as much as a year behind in his verbal skills and which was not diagnosed until well after his grandparents had adopted him. All that time they assumed I had somehow caused his problems.) As such I can no longer agree with the practice of using lesser-advantaged women as brood mares.

The statistics say it all: when you control for financial issues, lower-class women can be every bit as good mothers as middle- or upper-class, and adopted children, even those adopted as infants, have a lot more behavioral problems. My daughter cried for me after her birth and ceased only when she heard my voice again as they brought her in to me from the nursery. They know. Losing their mothers is a wound that never completely heals, although some of them muster up enough bravado to pretend it doesn't bother them. We need to stop pretending that mother-baby pairs can be broken up and mixed up into more socially pleasing arrangements with no consequence to the biological mother or the child whatsoever. I mean, I haven't even gotten into how much this damages the "birth mothers" too.

So, if someone is not going to deal with the hand they're given and accept that they can't produce children without medical intervention, I actually would rather see them pursue IVF or similar technologies. I would also like to see social advances made such that a mother-baby pair which is struggling is given every opportunity to stay together without the mother being shamed or guilt-tripped into believing something that just isn't true: that because of her race or her socio-economic status, she is incapable of being a good mother. I hope I am not asking for too much here. My son could be with me to this day had I had the resources to hire a good lawyer and had I not faced social censure for trying to keep him and support him on government handouts. Lots of other women are in the same boat even now. Small wonder they choose pregnancy termination over a broken heart, and sometimes not even that works. I'm pro-choice, but I want it to be a real choice, not "I got an abortion because it was that or have my child taken away from me."



That is so AWESOME!!! CONGRATS to your Husband!!

2008-05-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

That is so AWESOME!!! CONGRATS to your Husband!!



I would just like to say that from the standpoint ...

2008-05-24T13:37:00.000-05:00

I would just like to say that from the standpoint of cost (which the previous poster brought up from a different perspective), this truly marvelous improvement that reduces the number of multiples with their high rate of lifelong learning disabilities and other problems way more than saves any cost that would be passed on to the public by covering the procedure with health insurance. It can cost $50,000 a year (or more) to educate just one multiply-handicapped child.

Congratulations!



I don't know if this comment will get through the ...

2008-05-23T00:22:00.000-05:00

I don't know if this comment will get through the moderation, but I'll try anyway.

I disagree with the idea for trying to get insurance companies to pay for IVF. I'm all for families who want a child being able to raise one, but instead of putting more burden on those of us trying to pay for health insurance as it is, why not instead help people embrace their crosses in life and encourage less abortions and more adoptions?!



You guys are a heck of a team. ;-) I'm glad he's d...

2008-05-22T11:46:00.000-05:00

You guys are a heck of a team. ;-) I'm glad he's doing so well.



Congratulations to the sucess of the implantations...

2008-05-21T22:32:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to the sucess of the implantations and to all the happy parents. That must be very satisfying work. Congrats to your husband for making the first page.

I hope when testing is being done for possible causes of infertility, celiac disese is not overlooked. Here is a link to some articles about this connection. http://jccglutenfree.googlepages.com/infertilityandmiscarriage2