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The Pensblog

Pittsburgh Penguins Blog Pensblog

Last Build Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2016 09:44:33 +0000


mike sullivan

Wed, 16 Dec 2015 18:33:00 +0000

go pens(image)

Adam sucks

Wed, 20 Nov 2013 14:02:00 +0000

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tenk's out. Dupuis is out.

Patrick Swayze city


Upgrade City

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 10:30:00 +0000

We're moving our operation away from Blogspot.
Next-generation blog programs are popping up on the internet, and we got the right offer at the right time.

The most appealing part of Blogspot for us is its simplicity. No crazy bullshit going on.
But the community that has formed here has simply outgrown it.
We thank Blogspot for everything, like they care.

The site we're moving to gives us exactly what we've been looking for, as far as enriching content while keeping it as barebones as possible.

When the Welcome mat is laid out at the new site, we will have tutorials and shit ready to make the transition as seamless as possible.
But honestly, spending 20 minutes clicking around the new site will be self-explanatory.

We are planning for the new site to be ready to roll this upcoming weekend, so we are going to be busy, because you know we never get stuff done on time.
In a perfect world, we will have a going-away party Friday night here.


We base our entire lives around the movie Apollo 13.
So right now, we're double-checking gimble conversions before we move the guidance computer from Command Module Blogspot to the Lunar Excursion Module.

We have to stray from the script a little bit and jettison the command module instead of the LEM.
Not really. This site and its archives will always be here.
And there will be no re-entry. And we won't be freezing our balls off.
And we won't contract urinary-tract infections.

And the LEM didn't have a new upgraded yet simple Comments section.

The LEM didn't make the astronauts alter their questionable content.
And neither will the new site.

All systems go, homos.


There Could Be One Man That Could Save Your Season.

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:45:00 +0000

So,this has been one weird week.

Unreal shirt and Carrot.
Pat Quinn rumors.

But Eklund just upped the stakes. HOCKEYBUZZ

"Two different sources, one oversees, agree that the NJ have serious interest in Jaromir Jagr and are trying to find Jagr a way out of his Russian contract. There are several rumours that the KHL may be in deep trouble here with players across the board being asked to take serious cuts in salary midway through the season."

We know this says New Jersey, and its Eklund.

Akus sent this through.
Eklund =Owned yet again.

Go to this site. [KHL]
Scroll down....
Worldwide oil.


Still whatev

Stranger things have happened.

(object) (embed)

Just saying.....

We'll pay for his ticket.


24-Carrot Gold

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:47:00 +0000


No word yet from Carrot City herself, although a lot of people had some info about her.

Apparently, she student-rushes every game and even makes signs in Russian for Malkin to see.
What's better is that her boyfriend and his shirt helps her make the signs in the Rush line.
And she wears skirts to games.

Actual sign.
Rough translation: "I Can Be Your Good Luck Charm."
Thanks to ROBERT C.

What's even better is that she allegedly stalks Malkin after games, chasing his car when he stops at a redlight, and tries to get him to speak in Russian to her.

Other info we've received is that she talks really loud and brags that she knows the fact that Malkin shops at Ross Park Mall.

Shero should trade for that dude's shirt.
Actually, we can cut Unreal Shirt a break, since we've been told he played ice hockey in middle school/high school.

Everything we have stated about Carrot has been fact or relayed to us as such.
Carrot and Shirt just shouldn't kiss at games. Case Closed.
They could have avoided this whole situation.

We consider this matter closed until further developments...develop.



:: Mark Madden has made a cryptic post on his blog about unemployed coach Pat Quinn. THE X

:: Time to call up Brendan Shanahan. THE CONFLUENCE

We were thinking about doing a midseason recap.
Way too depressing. Plus we have some boxes to tape up.

No Jacket Required. PENS WIN.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:41:00 +0000

One win changes nothing. Two wins change(s) nothing.Let's face it.Winning this game is like beating Jim Abbott in rock-paper-scissors.But it has lifted some spirits.So plan the parade route.PUCK HUFFERSA great blog that we've been checking out for a while.No idea why we haven't linked to them before.Maybe we did once.eric p.liannatedVAMOSNalex b.daverkretzrobThere was nothing going on to start this game off.But things were chippy from the outset.Kovalchuk sends a message to Malkin.Army, who all of a sudden decided to play his game against the Penguins, was a nuisance.He jobs Tenko. Tenko and Army dance in a very short affair.Tenk sends Army to the ice. Army's chin sends Fedotenko's hand to the dressing room.Uh-oh.After some quick crap, Crosby goes off for 4 minutes for hitting that dude he hit in the balls.This time, he appeased the whiners around the league by hitting him as far away from his junk as possible.The Pens kill off the 4-minute penalty.That had a chance to be bad.Armstrong was at it again after the PP when he takes a run at Bing.They slap-fight for a while, and Army goes off.The Pens get a power play. Yeah, right. One shot.The Pens started generating some business for the remainder of the period.Kennedy has an unreal chance, but he takes an hour to shoot.Atlanta calmed the Pens attack down by putting them on the PP. Genius move.Well, maybe not so genius. Hey, is that Sykora out there? Goal. 1-0.And it is really sad that the Pens' first PP goal since Prohibition gets shown up by some dude in an unreal shirt making out with a carrot.Upon further review, apparently the Pens have added a make-out section to the Mellon Arena.Again -- what a shirt.Kid top left = stunnedFace of the year.Where did this girl think she was going tonight?Late addition. Different "angle."The guy in the white hat is the key. He is sitting next to them. Is it a three way dance?Thanks to everyone that sent these in.These pictures might need their own blog at one point.We can't resist:If you own a shirt like that, you don't read our blog. Period.She is actually a different color. Unreal.How long have they been dating? Smart money is on two weeks or maybe even a first date?What section is this in?How many times has she cheated on him?EMPTY NETTERS ran a great piece on Jersey fouls a few weeks ago. Seth needs to make another set of fouls for goal celebration for fans. Making out with your partner is number one, no questions asked. You can't do this.But the biggest question: What is the right thing to do? Do you give your girlfriend a high five? Do you hug your wife? What is the rule for going to a game and celebrating a goal with your partner?UPDATE:A reader was there:"I lost it when I saw your writing on this couple. I literally sat 4 people to their left. I am at the very right side of the east igloo. they were right outside in the normal seats, making it section B6. The picture really doesn't even do justice to how orange the girl's skin was... and the guy looked liked he was selling crack."Oh, there is a game.Staal washing-machines a shot soon after, and Malkin gives Colby a DDT.We forgot what a solid period looked like.Early on in the second, Staal had a chance coming out of the corner. Yeah, right.Atlanta keeps hanging around, but MAF is solid, and Atlanta blows.We complain how bad the Pens have been, but we feel bad for Atlanta fans.Not really.Some meaningless faceoff in the second period when you coming back from taking a pee turns into cash money.Malkin jokes some guy.Where the hell would the Pens be without Sykora?2-0Almost midway through the period, some idiot takes a penalty.Pens set things up.Malkin tags Bing in. Deflectionblog for the MegaPowers.3-0Micheal Bolton gets some Free Candy before the intermission.Can't wait for the pic of John Tavares and Ludacris next year down in the ATL.Look, nothing really even happened in the third period, but if the Pens were playing a decent team,[...]

GAMEDAY [41] -- Atlanta Thrashers

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Pens lose this.
Heads roll.

This one goes out to our boy Therrien.

One more night......

No One Knows What's Going On. PENS LOSE.

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:25:00 +0000

If confidence was AIDS, Magic Johnson would be a healthy scratch for the Pens every night.Ray Shero has come out recently saying that he is in fact staying the course with the Pens core talent, through thick and thin.We're not sure whether "thick" or "thin" refers to the hard times.If this is the thick times, there's no question Sally Struthers was at MSG Monday night.Picture: Struthers all smiles after eating someone's family.If this is the thin part of the idiom, then we're living in an episode of The Hills.All aboard the skank busiansteven seagaljlkThe Steelers come out, and Antonio Cromartie takes Big Ben for a pick-6 right off the bat. Oh, wait. That's Sunday.Talbot got some garbage penalty right off the bat. Rob Shick made it known that it was his intention to ref the worst game of his life.Wow.Goal. 1-0.Deflection City.Surprised Therrien didn't pull Fleury.The Pens were getting fewer bounces than Ellen Degeneres on a trampoline.It was good to be back in MSG.Orpik got douched in the face. The blood pours. 4 minutes power play.The first minute was all Crosby, but it was all Lundqvist, too. Big-time save(s). Maybe he should get some more pads. Get real.Crosby ends up drawing a penalty that Eddie O. refuses to look at.The replay clearly shows Kalinin grab Bing's stick between Crosby's hands.So obvious on the replay.Keith Jones is a joke, too.The ref has to go back and look at one of Bing's shots.He makes an awkward announcement of NO GOAL.The Rangers could have pulled Lundqvist during the Pens 5-on-3.Wouldn't have mattered.Jordan Staal, who is exuding the confidence of a fat 13-year-old girl, eventually took an interference penalty against his brother that was more baffling to us than the actual penalty that Edzo was baffled about.Maybe one of the worst calls in the last 35 years.If you were playing the Staal Brother drinking game, you probably had your stomach pumped, peed in someone's clothes hamper, and texted an ex-girlfriend before the puck dropped again.The Rags eventually had a mud PP for about 11 seconds that you expected them to score on.After Cooke and some joke went off, it was 4-on-4 .Malkin and Staal come down on a 2-on-1.For some reason we're still trying to contemplate, Staal completely misses the net.Seriously. That was so bizarre.After nothing and more nothing, Blair Betts takes a penalty.Was anyone even excited about a power play?Kennedy had a decent chance in front, but Lundqvist with the poke check.It suddenly hits you that the Pens haven't scored a legit goal since 1952.The second period started with the Pens on a power play or something.Staal broke his stick and kicks the boards on the bench in anger.We'll get news on Tuesday that Staal is out 4-6 weeks with a broken foot.Pens commence a 25-game winning streak. woooCrosby took a penalty to the delight of Rangers fans. They all team together for a rousing chant. Whatev. Killed.Crosby came out of the box like a rocket. Probably the fast we've seen him skate all year.It resulted in an attempted pass through three Rangers.Malkin and Sykora had a 2-on-0 for an hour halfway through the period.If it's NHL 09, you wait and set up a cross-crease one-timer.If you're Malkin, you aim for Lundqvist's glove. Big save.Malkin drew a penalty later.Crosby took a penalty two seconds later. Rob Shick was actually making things up at one point.Assistant coach Andre Savard gets an erection then passes out, confirming he is still alive.The Rangers scored. 2-0. Paul Mara. That's a shame.The Pens got a power play soon after.Guess what.How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if Jordan Staal wasn't a joke.Does Petr Sykora not have 9 power play goals this season?We're confused?Imagine trying to have sex with your girlfriend after a day where she lost her job, got into a car accident with an athiest that resulted in a puppy dying, Sex and the City got cancelled, and Oprah t[...]


Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:18:00 +0000


Madison Square Garden.
Pretty much the last place you'd want the Pens to play tonight.

And for that reason:

We are guaranteeing a win.


Go Pens

Change Is Coming

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 10:30:00 +0000

STEELERTRIBUTE::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Some joke from FOX SPORTS gets in on the Bash-Crosby party. Yawn.Don't feel bad if you've never heard of him because even Fox Sports doesn't know who he is.At this point, every time Crosby does/doesn't do something, some guy who thinks he's clever will job Crosby, thinking they look tough doing it. When people outside of Pittsburgh all of a sudden become "Crosby experts" when Crosby does something, it insults everyone's intelligence."Oh, Bettman won't touch his annointed one."Are we still using this as a premise for an article, guys? Seriously?We admit that our perception of Crosby differs from the other 29 NHL cities for reasons that are self-explanatory. But it's pretty offensive when people who don't watch Crosby on a game-by-game basis come out of the woodwork when he does something questionable and act like they're delivering an educated opinion. No, you're not. You can't bullshit a bullshitter.As we've said, we have no problem with what Crosby "did." If you forget where you're at right now, this is a couple of Pens fans' blog about the Pittsburgh Penguins.If Crosby would have attacked the dude in an airport or at his house, we still would not care.It still amazes us how other people's jealousy about us having Crosby shows itself.:: Speaking of fighting though. Check out some Baby Pens action. We miss Biz Nasty.[Eric P]:: And just to end on a depressing note, Mike Zigomanis is now on IR. PENGUINS.COM::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Joke.For the record, we would have made a last-second push to get MAF in.But Price came into Pittsburgh recently and was lights-out while MAF still hasn't shown up for that one.That was the decider, for us, anyway.We don't post personal pictures about the Pens, blah blah blah.But JEANETTE K. and her sister, who are from Pittsburgh, are in NYC for the game tonight and saw Miro Satan in Times Square walking around by himself.We'd end this with a snide comment about Satan underperforming this year.But it's not worth it.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::And lastly, we wanted to wish good luck to our good friend Kevin from Melrose Rocks.He is leaving the blogging world for a while.Melrose Rocks will still be up and running, though, and we wish Dave, Ryan, and Loser Domi the best.Go Pens[...]

Bang The Drum Slowly

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:33:00 +0000

This is not the easiest of times.
But when all else fails, make fun of the Washington Capitals.

Watch this fight between Semin and Marc Staal:

(object) (embed)

Now that's embarrassing.
It is a cross between a bitch fight and someone beating a bongo drum.

Thanks to [Puck Daddy for the assist.]

Rock Bottom. PENS LOSE.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 22:58:00 +0000

It's embarassing when you make Craig Anderson look like Patrick Roy.You know what's worse? The Panthers had lost 4 straight coming into this one.Patience is wearing extremely thin.Just when you thought Panthers couldn't win in Pittsburgh.Is a better effort to be expected from a team that's spending to the cap while bringing two superstars to the table every night? Absolutely.It's kind of stupid for any human being to be personally offended that their favorite sports team is underperforming/sucking balls.We aren't offended. We just like to see the Pens win every now and then.As far as this game is concerned:Hindsight is always 20/20, but you don't pull Fleury after that first period.There's just no way, no how.His first goal was a joke. Second goal shouldn't even factor into the equation.Sabu comes in cold as ice and gives up three goals. Game was over.MAF just as easily could have given up 3 goals in that second period.We've built up a track record of jobbing people whose first solution to the Pens' problems is to fire Therrien. But it's getting to that point. Fast.Ask Shero and 66 if what's going on right now is acceptable.The washing machine known as the Pittsburgh Penguins was all business to start off the game.They get a quick PP as a reward.The power play was joke city. Did they even get a shot? Jesus. 0-2o something in the last five games is a disgrace.Our personal "stay the course" shit is wearing thin.Max Talbot made an unreal move and had a chance to bury it.But he tries to pass it through a Panther laying on the ice.There's definitely a difference between yelling SHOOT on that play and when Goligoski tries to one-time a puck through someone's kneecap.Dupuis had quick breakaway. At least he got a shot off.It should have been 7-0 by that point.It was also good to see Kennedy back.Hal Gill got docked, and the Pens had to kill a penalty.They did kill it, but they didn't. 1-0. Unreal.If you play dek hockey, pick up ice hockey, or even online video games you know when you come out flying, and don't get a goal, and the other team doesn't try and gets one. It sucks the life out of you.Thats what happened.Matt Cooke leveled Jokemeester somewhere in there.Late in the period, Whitney ran pinchblog, not knowing that Tim Horton was at Giant Eagle buying some cherries.The resulting 2-on-1 results in a goal. 2-0.If you've even looked at the NHL standings this year, you know the Panthers are talking about playoff contention. They don't have stars, their goalie sounds like he's a backup quarterback, and no one knows who their coach is, so you just know they have a sound defensive game.The 2-0 lead looked daunting.The Pens capped off the first period on a penalty kill.Fleury shakier than Michael J. Fox.VomitHCMT put Alex P. Keaton in the runway to start the second.Sabu City leads the Pens out of the tunnel.Less than two minutes into the second, Fedotenko got the Pens on the board with a Plinko. 2-1.Big goal, but it still felt empty.Over the course of about 4 minutes halfway through the second, the Panther struck twice. 4-1.Vomit. HCMT calls a timeout.It isn't out of the question to think that Therrien asked the boys if they had had enough of this shit.Before you knew it, Talbot drops the gloves with Bruce Campbell.Next faceoff, Crosby attacks John McClane.We've seen this song before when it has come to the Penguins and the Panthers.EMPTY NETTERS brought that up again, and Seth also found this from Panthers player Nick Boynton:"That was just embarrassing. I can understand a little bit what he was trying to do, but that's a not a very professional move. You ask a guy to fight. You don't jump a guy when his head is down taking a faceoff. That's pretty immature and childish. He's just, whatever. He's not happy with the w[...]


Sat, 03 Jan 2009 16:00:00 +0000


1:00 PM
What a bad time for a game.

Usually Florida celebrates New Years by getting eliminated from the playoffs.
Not this year.

The Panthers are right on the Pens balls for a playoff spot.
They really don't have any big names, but they have a bunch of solid players.

Huge game for the Pens who haven't played a decent game at home this year---ruff ruff ruff



:: Rumor has it JFK and Gods are playing today, but we have no confirmation of that.

:: Gonch getting ready. TRIB

But then again the TRIB employs Rob Rossi.
What a hat.


EMPTY NETTERS had this yesterday.

(object) (embed)

No idea.


Pens need to get this shit going.

Let's kick the tires and light the fires.



Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:45:00 +0000



Big Alex News

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 +0000

If you're like us, you pull out your phone while you're taking an immaculate dump and scroll through your e-mails. Sitting there long enough without having any turd action is rumored to be a cause of, a website whose name speaks for itself, was the website responsible for the scans of that MAXIM article. If you recall, we didn't have the first part of the article because Caps fans don't know how to use computers.Well, we were put in our place by Bruce Lee via e-mail on Friday morning:Hey there - I feel dirty for even writing that email address of yours but whatever... I run ... you know, for Ovechkin, the player that PIT fans claimed they liked just as much as Crosby when OV edged your hero for the Calder. Just wanted to bring this to your attention... "It's the overall tone of the article that has even the Capitals organization itself pretty upset.Here's a SCAN of the second part of the article.If Caps fans knew how to use computers, we'd have the first half of the article."(Pensblog Note: Unreal sentences right there.) This Caps fan works for the biggest IT company in the world doing web applications so I'm pretty sure I can use a computer. The fact that imageshack decided to remove or "lose" that particular image should have crossed your mind. It was fine the first few days it was there. I could scan the first page again... but I don't feel like it right now. Best of luck to you guys.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Wait wait. When did Pens fans claim they liked Ovechkin as much as Crosby when Ovie won the Calder over him? Unreal. He probably saw one person say it on a message board and then just made sweeping assumptions about the entire Pens fanbase. That kind of stuff is dangerous.Bruce then quotes us saying that we question Caps fans' abilities to use computers.Does this guy even realize we tried to initiate a league-wide movement to get Ovie into the ASG starting lineup? Of course, after that debacle, we are seriously questioning Caps fans' dedication to Ovechkin as well as their ability to use 20th- and 21st-century technology.We had hate running through our veins when we read up to that point in this e-mail.But this guy won us over when he starts his final paragraph referring to himself as "This Caps fan," which is how a professional wrestler would refer to himself. Unreal.We sent along this e-mail while hemorrhoids were forming:Hey man. We figured something like that happened with the scan. Wecouldn't pass up throwing caps fans' computer skills under the bus,though. We sure wish we ran a site devoted solely to another man likeyou do. Have a good 2009.The Pens play again in like 8 minutes.[...]