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Preview: My's Journey to Freedom

My's Journey to Freedom

Updated: 2014-09-30T22:59:00.681-07:00




Ok so it has been forever since I have Blogged....I find myself back at the smoking again I went from September 2007 until one month ago....So much has happened....I always go back to the one thing I think I can count on....the stress factor always when people in my life are messing up ...I fall everytime...I don't even know how to get back I have 7 days of Chantix...should I start back on it I took it for a few months and was able to wean myself off....I feel like such a failure....I'm taking medication to lose weight...and depression, thryoid, cholestrol and now do I put Chantix on top of doctor says it's ok...I'm to afraid to even all of you who are still making it....

Still Going


Wow I have forgotten all about this.....But I am happy to say it has been almost 13 months and I have yet to smoke ....we won't talk about the weight gain ....LOL

Just Checking in


Wow It has been forever it seems since I checked in....I'm still not smoking the meter is correct...I've been so caught up in my new 10 hour schedule it seems that I don't even breathe until Fridays....Then it's time to watch the grandkids on the week-ends...I'm going in for surgery on my ankle tomorrow a little fear but I know the Lord is in control of all of it....I am supposed to take 2 weeks off work hopefully I will be able to go back after two weeks...I don't like taking any days off...I absolutely love my working with the's the parents I have a hard time with....but hopefully it will get better...I will try and check in more....Myra

8 weeks +


Hey Everyone....It's been a while since I have checked in.....Things are going ok....I have had a severe ear infection in both ears....I have never had ear infections in my life....I started playing in my mind it is because I quit smoking....boy that stinking thinking will sure try to get you when you are down...Yes I have been down for over a week...two antibiotics later and lots of prayer I'm starting to feel somewhat better...I have been having smoking dreams and craving cigarettes so bad...but I haven't given in...I refuse to be controlled by those nasty things anymore.....The meter reads 8 weeks+ that's awesome....but it hasn't been that easy as at the beginning, but I have cut back on the Chantix to the 1mg a day......hopefully I will be able to get off it soon....Getting ready for Thanksgiving as everyone else is....We sure have alot to be Thankful for this matter what our circumstances are, there is always something to be Thankful for.
God Bless you All

6 weeks


I have been very busy lately with the new 10 hour shifts and taking care of grandkids on the week-end, geocaching and going to high school football games...I didn't even realize I haven't blogged in over two weeks...the meter says I haven't smoked in over 6 that is crazy...I have had moments where I wanted to but so far haven't.....I did cut down on the Chantix....was taking 1mg in the am and .05mg in the pm...for a few days...but now I'm taking the the mid seems to be working ok....went for breakfast with hubby after church today....walked into the casino part to get to the restaurant...oh my goodness the smell was horrible....never noticed it before...but it almost made me not want breakfast....I'm so very isn't a walk in the park though...I sometimes wake up depressed ....missing my old friend...but then again it wasn't a friend at all......Hope everyone is doing ok....Good night for now....My

4 Weeks Are you sure


Well the quitmeter says 4 weeks...I believe that is a month right?....I can't even believe it has been that long....yes I can....but it was always harder before...yes I have had some yesterday when I needed to be somewhere...and was afraid I was going to be was daughters homecoming and we needed to be there so when they announce her name we walked her on the field....just for a real brief moment I wanted to smoke BAD....I'm loving every minute of the ten hour shifts....they have also decided to give me Friday, Saturday and Sunday off... Woo Hoo!! Hope everyone is having a smoke free day....we are on our way out the door to go do I love that game....

Almost a Month


Wow 3 weeks and 3 days that is almost a month...It's hard to believe.....Haven't blogged in awhile...thought I would sit down and put something on here....Just got home from a 10 shift...things have been going good...I'm loving these ten hours...more of the three days off...I went to my doctor the other day for the results of my blood work....My cholesterol is down some and my weight is down 7 pounds...are you getting...I have been munching like crazy....but since quitting smoking I have been walking more on the treadmill....when the ankle is I feel Happy....I made the big mistake of going to Wal-Mart the other day....I noticed they have Halloween candy every where...I did really good at not buying very much...but then as I was heading to the check-out there right in front of me were POPCORN BALLS!!! oh no not again...every year I buy them....I would like to say that I buy them to give out but that would be a lie...I had my oldest daughter with me and she just looked at me and smiled...go ahead mom it's only once a year....OH my Gosh I bought 2 then I get home and hide a box under my who am I hiding them from ...myself...I'm the only one that usually eats I keep one box in the kitchen...and here I go not just one but 2 or 3 in a setting...good thing they are only 100 calories....I guess I could have picked up worse habits...but once a year isn't bad right? I get home from work last night and there is only one left in the box of 20...I probably consumed at least 15 of I decide to have a late night snack ...after the one I find my self sneaking in the bedroom where my husband is soundly sleeping ....snoring :)....trying to feel in the dark for that other box of popcorn balls...walla I grabbed it and got out of there..and you know the rest....but enough of this...I'm so glad that it's popcorn balls I'm sneaking and not I have now finished my two popcorn balls and will go get ready for bed...Hopefully everyone will have a wonderful smoke-free day tomorrow

Still Going


I'm still in shock that I haven't smoked in over two+ has been a slight struggle but I have made it through...I have been reading some of the horror stories about does have me somewhat alarmed...I have been noticing a neck ache but that could be just the way I sleep...I've had it before at times...then my knees have been aching but that could also be walking everyday on the I hope and pray that I have no side effects....the nausea has completely gone away....the dreams well they are still there...not bad...just dreams....the gas is still there also...but I can live with is really sad to hear that there are those that are having bad side effects...I know how they must feel wanting to quit and hoping that Chantix was the answer....I don't ever want to go back...and hope I never do....Good Night for now...and God Bless

Day 15 I guess


I have felt very tired lately and depressed...I have also noticed my knees are starting to hurt and I'm not feeling like getting on the treadmill....Today is my Monday and 10 hour shifts...I don't really feel like going and dealing with a bunch of teenagers that are whining and arguing about everything...I want to sit and have my own pity party...I hate that I loved cigarettes so much but I also miss them so much...but I can breathe better...I overslept and didn't go to church today...I have been really having rough nights of sleeping...I even dreamt that I smoked...darn I hate not being able to sleep good...ok enough whining...just hought I needed to get it off my chest...and another thing how do you lik other peple to you blog....Have a great day everyone....

Day 13


Today is my 13th day of not smoking and my first day of the new schedule of 4 10's and 3 days off....I'm still am in shock that I'm not smoking....things are so stressfull...if I weren't on Chantix I know that I would have already caved in under the stress....but I CHOOSE to not smoke no matter what....spent some time on the treadmill today that felt so good....but it's funny how I read Maggie's blog and she talks about her ankle hurting from an old injury...I have the same problem...darn ankle swells up and it's hard to walk....she' gutsy though I won't dare try to jog...I received a call from my counselor at the tobacco users hot line...he was surprised to hear how I had quit....I told him I would have called him but that I would have been triggered because every time I talked on the phone I ended up going in the garage to smoke....things will get better though....enough for now...gearing up for Survivor and CSI....this will be the first time in a long time....I have been home on a Thursday night...I usually have it recorded and watch later.....

It's the end of day 10


I'm still smoke-free!!! it is amazing....WOO! HOO!....tonight was very crazy...teens were not getting along at all...I was somewhat stressed out...the thought of going outside to smoke did cross my mind...Thank God it only crossed...I didn't try to entertain the thought our give in to it...I love it when I am able to take a deep for now I'm a very happy camper....Hope everyone had a wonderful smoke free day.....

The battle in my mind


Well today has been a week of not smoking....I know that the physical addiction is probably gone...however, the mental is still raging on.....I having been wanting a cigarette all morning and even part of last appears only when I get frustrated...or in a spat with the other seems nothing I say lately won't cause a rude comment back...I am tired of spending my week-ends frustrated...but another day down...I will focus on not smoking today...and remember that I can breathe better, I don't stink...and I can do this....

Feeling good today....


Well today is my Friday...the counter says 5 days...but I count 6 don't know how that works my last cigarette was on September 21 at 10.30 pm...but that doesn't matter all that much....I just know I'm not smoking...I got on the treadmill again today and actually walked 1.5 miles in 32 minutes...thats fantastic for me it used to take almost an hour when I was feels so very good to not 19 year old son gave me a hug an kiss before bed the other night and said "Wow mom you don't stink. I'm so proud of you"...that almost made me cry...he has been the one child that has been concerned about my smoking...I just hope and pray when the Chantix goes away...I will remain smoke free...How long do people actually stay on the Chantix...I guess I don't need to be concerned with that right now..since I have a ways to go...Hopefully everyone will have a great rest of the day smoke-free



Another day ...I'm still doing it and can't believe it...Today was somewhat hard...the cravings or thoughts or whatever you want to call them were there many times today ..but I made it through...I actually got on the treadmill today for the first time in a few was so different I could go faster and longer and not get out of breath so easy....I read my bible..did some praying and all felt's day 5 now and almost over....I'm very thankful...for another day....



Can this really be happening...I do believe it is...Wow day three and I haven't smoked...this Chantix is really helping....I would have been a raging idiot by now...but I'm pretty calm...yes the cravings are there but not near as bad as they many years ago...My Supervisor was at work today...she asked me if I missed her yesterday..I almost hated to tell her the truth but I did...No I didn't miss you....I didn't bother to tell her why So I asked her how her day get the heat off of me...I did confide in a friend at work who quit almost 2 years ago...He said he would be praying for me...boy do I need supervisor and I used to take turns going out to smoke....she would say to me...I'm going out...and I would say to her that I was going all morning long I'm hearing her tell me she was going out and I could go after I just smiled and said OK...but I never did...later my friend asked me in front of her how I was doing and I said Supervisor asked if I was ok...I finally decided to let the cat out of the bag...she said she felt bad for telling me I could go out after's all good though...I left work with a smile on my face....Wow I made it thru....Sorry guysl...I copied and pasted from the other blog...I really don't even know how blogs work...but I'm sailing into alot of unchartered waters these days...I don't know if the same people read this blog as my other blog...I just figure I need all the help I can get and give....
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Didn't have a chance to write last night...but yesterday was my first day of actual I can hardly believe felt was my second day....I'm. feeling ok...but have cravings for a cigarette....I'm still on the Chantix but feeling bloated, nausea at times, but so far it is worth it...I have got to keep going I want this monkey off my back once and for all....

Last day


Well tomorrow is the day I have decided to quit...I have been very depressed all day just thinking about this...I love smoking and yet I hate it at the same time...I have had a headache all it the Chantix or thinking too much about this...The thoughts that are running through my mind are compromising the quit I really want to smoke..back and forth...I keep everyone that has managed to quit big KUDOS...if I can just may it through the first few's not so much as physical as it is mental.....UGH!

First Blog of Freedom


Well this is my first blog....I'm on my 8th day of Chantix....and my 2nd day of .05mg twice a day...I figure I will try and build up to the maxium and then make the plunge into freedom....I'm nervous and scared...I don't want to be a failure again...I have tried so many times to quit smoking...and always ended up going back...I have been in bondage to these things for 37 years...and am sick of them but at the same time love them...I'm having some nausea problems...but not too bad if I eat first...then the dreams are starting to don't ever remember dreaming before....we shall see how this journey for now I will continue to find new hobbies to do...I started geocaching....thinking that would take my mind off...but I end up huffing and puffing up the hill....and smoking when I get back to the truck....something will have to change ....