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Preview: One day Closer until.........


Updated: 2014-10-07T05:22:12.823+01:00


My life flashed before my Vacuum cleaner


I like my house to be clean and tidy, doesn't always work like that with two messy kids and an even messier husband, but I like it that way all the same. For Christmas, my Mum bought me a new vacuum cleaner. My old one, a trusty Dyson, had decided to refuse to suck to the required standard of my mother, who had very kindly decided to hoover my house one day. The old hoover used to get clogged up with a combination of my hair and that of my daughters. It used to amaze me how much hair we used to shed between the two of us. I would estimate that on a regular basis there was probably enough hair to provide a fur coat for a rat or similar sized fluffy animal. Over a year, I could probably stuff a mattress.I'm actually surprised that I'm not bald !I read somewhere once that on average you're meant to lose 100 hairs a day, perhaps I don't actually vacuum that often then or maybe I'm above average in the hair loss department! So, I felt fairly excited to have been bought a new toy . I opened the box and took out all of the parts of the shiny new Panasonic Eco max with automatic bar stop and even closer to the edge suction claim.It came with a variety of handy, easily adaptable gadgets. You know the type, a small brush for the stairs, a handy extention pipe for reaching those tricky corners and it even has two settings for floors and carpets. As I plugged in the new dream machine, and flicked on the switch, the roar of the motor hummed. The new electric smell wafted across my kitchen as I tested it on a pile of toast crumbs lovingly dropped by the boy earlier that morning. With one push the speckled burned bread deposits had gone into the vortex.I felt pleasantly pleased to see a ribbon of fluff and crumbs swirling around the special lime green chamber, like a dancing fairy. I next tested how close it would suck to the edge of the skirting board.It squashed itself tight and vibrated against the wood strutting its stuff where ever I pushed it. Fab, I thought. Let's see how it handles the stair carpet. Like a quick draw cow boy, I assembled the handy small brush attachment to the hose to test the beast on the stairs. It lifted the carpet pile by the scruff of the neck and threw it back down again,devouring a few more discarded strands of moult in blonde and brunette with a flick of silver. By now, I was getting cocky. Flicking the switch back down to floor and dismantling the brush in the twinkling of an eye, I went in for the hose. The 4ft extendable python in black shiny eco fr iendly plastic was curled asleep into the arched down pipe.I connected the two firm plastic inner tubes to extend it by a further foot waking it with my demands. Grasped in my hand, I reached up for the offending silken cob web above the front door. It teased me, gently swaying in the breeze of the up draught, abandoned by the Christmas tinsel which had shielded it from sight for nearly a month. I looked upwards with it firmly in my sights, my hand raised with the rainforest friendly tube in my grip.Adopting the stance of an assasin about to strike, I pointed my weapon, callously intending to make a spider homeless, when it happened. My Eco friendly, power mad, panasonic now called Judas struck.... I felt my self being pulled downwards by the neck in a sudden forceful movement.My hoover was trying to kill me... My super, soft ,cream with a hint of beige woollen hooded jumper, complete with strings and baby soft pompoms around the collar had been sucked down the now exposed suction pipe. As my aggressor sucked down my pom poms to warp factor 10, it screamed a blood thirsty roar. As my head was now lower than my thighs and veering nearer to my knees, drastic action was in order. My poms poms had disappeared, their attached woollen string had also gone into the ether, but not yet appeared into the eco interior spinning tea cup ride. Just then, the postman called at the front door- great ! I got onto my knees, still behind the front door on display behind the nice, clear shiny visible glass on full view to the Royal Mail servant. My first instinct w[...]

Well Ok I'm once in a blue moon blogger !


Well, I can't keep promises to blog, quite frankly I'm really not reliable on this front- I can't even blame face book, farmville or even mafia wars as I haven't been on there either.

I'm not actually sure where I've been! I wasn't abducted by aliens, or ship wrecked on a desert island or sadly whisked away by Johnny Depp(!) Regretably, I seemed to have aged by two years since my last bout of blogging, and my laughter lines have all of a sudden decided to grin at me like a cheshire cat coupled with the fact I now own several strands of silver, but not in the jewellery department sense of the word.

Life has bumbled on carrying me along on the crest of the wave, sometimes gently swishing me to a good place and other times dropping me in a land which has challenges, annoyances and sheer frustrations.But on the whole I have enjoyed the last year and a half being busy with other things.

I no longer have any children at primary school, my babies having grown and now walk themselves to "Big school". Health wise we have been very lucky apart from one tonsillectomy which was fairly traumatic and unpleasant.Weirdly I seem to have shrunk some what in the height department, with my boy now towering above me- the pencil marks that I lovingly have etched on the kitchen door have started to fade indicating how quickly the kids have grown in what seems such a short space of time.

My chickens "Scarlett and Tallulah" have kept me busy and rather entertained, despite the fact that my garden is no more... I had my first double yolker egg a few weeks ago, which was very exciting !! The poo mounds have not decreased in mass or velocity.

On the work front, I have been very occupied.My good friend Lyzzy and I have a plan on how to make our first million in a future proposed creative empire outside of work. We are practising a variety of different crafts at this time until we are proficient in one or bankrupt from all of the stuff we seem to be buying..

Christmas came and went having crept up silently behind me and now in a New Year I have made my annual list of resolutions and plans of things to do.This includes such goals like eat healthily and get fitter ( may be I'll start this after I've finished off the remaining 5kg tin of chocolates and boxes of biscuits that seem to have reproduced in my cupboard over night.

So this may be my unique 2012 blog entry, although I do hope not, once again I have been shamed into blogging by dear Lyzzy who seems to make the most out of every mili second -may be I need to adopt this stance... but pass me another choccy first !!

I'm looking forward to catching up with blogging friends old and making friends new and hoping that you haven't been as lazy as I have.

Happy New Year Everyone !

It Can't be over a year can it???


Well I got out my lap top today having received a text message from my good friend Lyzzydee telling me to look at her Blog and her tribute to those with "Golden locks".Lyzzy some how finds time to write the most fantastic Blog, uploads photos, makes cards, crafts like mad, works full time, cares for everyone, and I admire her completely.She is extremely organised and she even has a tidy house!! I was shocked to find out that I haven't posted for over a year, so thought I'd drop down a few lines as a type of penance and to prove that I am actually still alive!I'd like to blame Face book - and Farm ville, and Mafia Wars and Poking people and even the copious of amount of alcoholic beverages that "Mom in Scrubs" would regularly send me via the network but sadly I can't because I've been very lazy on that too!I have no real excuse and am going to make an effort to post more and to catch up with what is going on with everyone.Every Thursday in our town is market day.For years there has been a little man who sells buttons, zips and elastic on a stall.A few days after Christmas he put out a small roughly crafted cardboard sign that said "Only 51 weeks till Christmas!" It has become a bit of a joke when I see him as the sign has religiously been amended week upon week with updates until the festive season.It has certainly focussed my mind about how precious time is, the challenges it can bring us, also the pleasures and how we should appreciate every second.During my Blog free time - life has not been dull !The other day Malc received a telephone call from a woman trying to sell him Life insurance(being a man of a certain age). She explained all the different options available to him and explained that her company could also insurance against accidents of a variety of different natures.Being a bit of a joker Malc decided to have a bit of fun at her expense in a very dead pan and serious fashion.He asked for specific examples about what she could do if he had an accident on board a boat ( he likes the idea of going on a cruise in the future). She enthusiastically,believing that he might be gullible for a few quid and proceeded to explain that if he was travelling to work in a boat and was involved in an accident he could claim £50K.Now as we live and work in a land locked county the likelihood of this is impossible.He wouldn't let it rest- he then asked about insurance of his "vital parts" if these were subject of damage ( this has been threatened several times throughout our relationship!!)This threw the lady and she then went off to seek advice from a Supervisor.She came back saying that this was a possibilty.He then proceeded to ask how much it would be to insure his vital parts if on board a boat travelling to work in the event of an accident!!!And got crazier after that- how much if he wasn't travelling to work but still on a boat!!I think that the lady wishes that she had never phoned him - we haven't had a call since so it did work!I wonder if they would use it for training purposes.......So what else has been going on- We went to Holland again last year with Lyzzydee and the crew which was great fun and we are spookily enough all going to Disney Orlando this October, although in different hotels.But when we booked our flights- we are sitting behind them !!! So I expect Liz will be fully reclining her seat......It's my birthday next week and for a present I have 2 Chickens ( Live ones!) named Scarlett and Tallulah. They are great fun and very comical. I spent all of the other day just watching them and got no housework done at all. We've also had 5 eggs which has been very exciting for the kids.The down side to chickens is the poo - I've become a bit of a poo expert just recently which is a bit worrying. I've also become a bit of a chicken website forum addict learning all about the pros and cons of red mite powder and the nutritional value of corn.I really must get out more.I read recently that chickens are the new "IPOD" and are very trendy- Mmmmm??Any way - I've g[...]

The Bishop, My Girl and the Cream Sponge Cake


The school where my youngest child Georgina attends has just celebrated its Centenary.

It is a lovely little school with a wonderful family and friendly atmosphere.

There have been a few special events over the last few weeks including a large musical concert which raised thousands of pounds for various charities. All of the performers were ex pupils spanning the century.

This week there has been a special mass for the whole of the school where the new Bishop and other dignitaries were attending.

All of the children were expected to be on their best behaviour. Some had special prayers or readings , others were singing in the choir.

The mass was followed by afternoon tea for the special guests with photographs and speeches.

The children ( because they had already had their lunch and snacks) were not encouraged to eat the " Special tea" in order to leave enough for the guests.

Unfortunately because I was at work I was unable to attend so when I returned home I was greeted by a very excited Georgina at the door.

This is how the conversation went...

G. - " Mummy you'll never guess what... I'm officially the luckiest girl in the whole school !"

Me. - ( Still on the threshold of the door in 30 C heat trying to actively listen whilst take off my shoes and put down by bag) "Why what happened?"

G. - All in one breath without stopping .. " Well I was about to ring the play time bell and the Bishop , you know the man with the big hat who was at our school today stopped me and asked me why I didn't have any cake. I told him that my teacher had told us that we weren't allowed to have anything. Then he looked over his shoulder cut his piece of cake in half and then gave it to me . He told me to tell the teacher that he had given it to me if anyone asked me ! I'm the luckiest girl in the whole school -even luckier than Phoebe Coody as she only got a " high five" from him !!

That one kind act will stay with her forever ...

Or more cynically !!

For me the day my daughter fleeced the Bishop for a piece of cake ( perhaps it didn't taste that good !!!)

Wicked woman ..

Wanted - One Ant Eater !!


Well the weather has been glorious - a bit too hot even !

We spent the weekend in and out of the garden cutting the lawn where our two trusty guinea pig lawn mowers " Daphne" and "Poops" had failed in their duty to munch.

In between the clumps of daisies, dandelion stems and general moss we discovered several mounds of earth. Having poked them we unearthed several fairly large ant mounds complete with red ants, black ants , ants with wings and ants carrying eggs !

Now whilst I love all creatures I really do not like ants at all - think it stems from my child hood when I was allocated a desk at school in a new class complete with old apple core and its occupants. I was not allowed to move and hated every moment having ants crawling over me until I really threw a wobbly and eventually got moved!

We must have had approximately 10 or so mounds of varying size dotted around the grass. Not being able to put down powder because of the guinea pigs I am afraid to say that I resorted to the boiling water treatment - I apologise to any ant lovers !

I know that they are very hard working , ingenious creatures but I just don't want them in my back yard. I had found a couple in doors recently - any more then I'm moving !

This got me thinking about ant eaters - I've seen them in our local zoo - absolutely beautiful creatures. I'd love to hire one - just for the day - it would give the ant eater a day out , do me a favour and save the zoo pounds in food !

It could become a real trend and make the zoo a fortune - I know that the zoo sell " adoptions" - perhaps I could chance my luck with adoptive parent status !

What a difference a few hours make


Well yesterday I returned to my Blog after a long period of time away remarking on the date 25th June 2009 and the fact that in 6 months time it will be Christmas day.

How bizarre is life that when I wrote my blog entry the legendary Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett were both alive and yet a few hours later we heard the news that both had sadly died.

Farrah fawcett was best known to me as one of " Charlie's Angels ". I can remember having the 1970's flick hair style along with my friends battling as to who was to be " Kelly or Sabrina " in out playground re enactments of the TV programme - I must have been all of 7 or 8 years old.

I too like everyone have grown up with the Jackson 5 and in particular Michael. I never went to any of his concerts but did have his " taped cassettes, records and CD's"( showing my age now!)

I know that he wasn't everyone's cup of tea and that his behaviour was at times rather strange but he was a brilliant singer and dancer.

It must be difficult being famous, not sure that I would really relish the fact being hounded by the media at every moment of my life , not knowing who your true friends are , being criticised and having your character analysed at every opportunity.

Today is another reminder that I am lucky to be alive,to have loving friends and family around me and that I should take time to show that I appreciate and love them and everything a lot more.

Only 6 months until Christmas !!!!!!!!!!!


Well another couple of months down !

I haven't been on my Blog , I haven't even been on face book and even my e-mails have been neglected just lately - so what have I been doing ???

I really wish I could tell you as I'm not sure myself !

Thank you Lyzzy for trying to stir me into action by leaving me a variety of messages !

I looked at the calendar today and weirdly thought exactly 6 months today we'll all be eating Christmas dinner - how weird is that. Another year almost gone.

It's also Malc's " Very merry Un- birthday today" - a weird tradition every month in our family celebrated on the date of our real birthday and not the actual month - means you get 11 Un birthdays and 1 real one !! We don't do presents on those days - you just get reminded of how old you are.

I've had a strange day today - nothing new there then -started off being nearly run off the pavement by a 5 year old child out of control on a pedal bike - followed by being served in sainsbury's by a "Bag licker" - one of my Pet hates. I then popped round to see one of my friends who had stuck a garden fork through the top of her foot and walked her " Lassie cloned" dog - which was very enjoyable.

It has been years since I walked a dog and I had forgotten what it was like - I was however quite pleased that the dog did not facilitate the need to use the pooper scooper and the very thin doggy poo bags.

It was my Mum's 65th birthday a couple of days ago and because of work we will be celebrating properly tomorrow with a Chinese meal which will be nice.

Malc as usual has been his normal self. At work we were all issued with an e mail detailing how we should all be using only a maximum of two pumps from a soap dispenser when washing hands in order to save money !!

Malc has responded by forwarding illustrated instructions on how to wipe your derriere using one piece of toilet paper and is considering entering it into the staff suggestion scheme as a cost cutting measure !!!

Since I last blogged we have had frequent hospital visits, been on holiday to Dorset, painted the hall ( I say " We" when I mean Me)survived a visit by my nephews ( only one broken photo frame !)been successful in pantomime auditions ( the kids), got the part of Oliver ( Sam )helped out on school trips, nursed a hedgehog and have been harrassed by " Bonker" the blackbird bashing our windows from 0500 hours every day ( he did the same thing last year !).

I will try again to do a bit more blogging but won't promise just yet !

Looking forward to catching up on everyone's news though.

Another month gone !


I've given up on excuses and promises to Blog as I appear to be a lost cause.

Life has been fairly hectic over the last month and the days seem to drift into weeks and then months.

So what have I been up to ....

Well I joined a gym and haven't been yet ! ( great value for money!)

Have accompanied various family members to none other than 4 hospital appointments and more to come ( sickly bunch !)

Have been working what appears to be non stop with a day off here and there- only to sort out homely things like washing , shopping , cooking , cleaning , ironing !

Listening to Malc tell me how that he must have beaten the world sit up record in his daily work out and then in the same ear hearing about how bad his back is, his leg aches , the side of his foot and other dodgey parts with varying ailments!

Trying not to murder him completely when he took my daughter to a dancing lesson only to come home 45 minutes later stating that he had bought a brand new car without any discussion !

Wondering if he had gone completely mad altogether when I caught him bidding on a banjo on Ebay ( he plays no musical instruments but now has the desire to play a banjo)

Replying to various party invitations for my children

Sending Malc to our child's parents evening ( hoping that he would not come back having bought anything else!)

Had a mother / daughter discussion on biological facts and when advising Georgie what " ovaries" were and describing them as sort of Almond shaped - she stated " I hate Almonds , why can't they be like raisins instead "

Went for a fantastic Chinese meal with a group of parents/ teachers finding it a bit peculiar calling the teacher that had taught me years ago by his first name, whilst trying not to feel like an 11 year old again !

Finally decided to sell a load of stuff that is in the garage and got as far as sorting it out - now just have to sell it.


Got talked into joining face book by a friend despite a huge amount of resistance and realised that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and actually found an old school friend on there - also some fellow bloggers !

So really Life has been ticking away merrily with a few things to test me - but on the whole ok...... so far !!!!!!

Trip to the Dentist


Last week I had to take the kids for their routine check up at the dentist.We've been at this particular dental practice for years , albeit that the dentists themselves have changed. Now I've never been one of those people who get particularly worked up about going, although I have to admit I don't particularly enjoy the experience as a whole. I always make sure that the kids look after their teeth and was pleased to hear that the dentist was very pleased with them and that they needed no treatment.Unfortunately when it was my turn - he uttered those dreaded words . " Ah , You appear to have fractured your filling, it will need to be replaced ".Today was " D" Day and I had to go back to the surgery to have my tooth fixed.I arrived at the practice about 15 minutes early to find that I was the only person in the waiting room. The receptionist was very friendly and as British people do we started to talk about the weather. She started to say that she had never seen such deep snow and clearly stated that the last time we had snow like this she was an 18 month old baby (!) This suddenly made me feel quite old as I was old enough to be her mother...I sat in the chair looking around the waiting room, pictures of gleaming white teeth every where , toothbrushes galore whilst listening to the sounds of high pitched drilling from a room next door.The drilling stopped and a lady came out into the reception area to pay her bill, her speech had obviously been affected by whatever she had just had done as she was slurring and slobbering as though her lips had been pumped up like a big balloon.The lady went out of the door holding her face before she went out into the cold air and I was once again left alone gazing around the room waiting for my name to be called over the crackly tannoy system to room 9.Upon hearing my name I made my way to the room where the dentist was waiting at the door to greet me( No getting out of it now - I was committed..)."Good afternoon " , he cheerfully grinned showing me into the room."Right, have a seat".I sat on the long plasticy covered reclining couch, to my right was a tray of metal shining sharp picks , hooks and drill pieces which didn't look very pleasant at all.I was handed a pair of plastic googles - very attractive- which I had to adorn - looking like something out of Sci fi movie.Next I was propelled back wards into the lap of the dentist, with my shoes pointing to the ceiling.As he prepared his drill pieces , the dental nurse was busily chatting away to me telling me about how she had found a caterpillar in a bag of peppers that she had got from the supermarket ( I have no idea how we got on to this subject - normally like hairdressers I have been asked about what I was going to be doing for the weekend or any holidays etc).Then it was - " Ok open wide please" and the drilling began. I heard the drill first before I felt it and then my toes started to curl...I found that I had my hands clamped across my chest as though my life depended on it and my toes were fully strecthed out awaiting to cramp at any moment."LIft your left hand if you want me to stop at any time", he muttered through his green mask.They had put a heavy apron on me so I have no idea how I was meant to raise my hand whilst wearing an iron filled straight jacket!I started to make those sort of " Gaarr... Maar.." noises - you know the ones when you feel as though your jaw bone has been broken. This was also whilst trying to swallow the water which by now has built up at the back of my throat and wanting to avoid swallowing the 2 big polystyrene rolls inserted at the side of my gums.Then the nurse stuck the dreaded suction hose pipe in my mouth , as well as having the drill - to suck up any excess moisture. It was so cold I couldn't feel the side of my tongue.It felt like a garden hose pipe . She then lost contro[...]

Winter Wonderland !


My day started this morning at 0500 this morning when Malc started to scrape the snow from the car ready to go to work.I felt like a child again , the excitement of seeing loads of snow when I didn't have to go to work . Then I felt the concern of hoping that he would actually get to work ok.Sam & Georgie woke up at 0700 as normal and I couldn't wait to tell them that it had been snowing! They were really excited and there were whoops of joy as they both stared out of the window with delight.After breakfast I thought that I had better have a look at the schools web site - we had been forewarned that in inclement weather the schools may be closed as the teachers would not be able to get in.I had heard on the main news and weather that lots of schools had been closed and upon checking Sam & Georgina's schools were also closed.By 0800 We were all outside and had built two snow men and a snow cat (!) and had had several snowball fights.I couldn't believe how thick the snow was - I can't remember it being that heavy for years and certainly the children had never seen it like that.I took a few photos of the morning.After lunch Malc had come home early from work - so we all went sledging !! We had a brilliant time screaming down the hills - it was great fun.Having just looked at the school web site again the schools are closed again for tomorrow and I am off work until Wednesday !!Whoopeeee !!!!!!!!!!I'm sure that by the weekend we will be sick of it but for now it's nice to enjoy it whilst we can.[...]

A Culinary moment


I'm not sure why but over the last couple of days a variety of notable culinary moments have occured in our household - and not good ones!On Friday night I decided that we would have a curry - a home made one complete with Naan bread and the trimmings. I quite like cooking, I'm not the best cook in the world but I do my best to put something edible on the table.I'm not a huge fan of hot curries or really spicy ones- bit of a wimp really compared to Malc who would eat the hottest one available ( you know the "bum burner " types, I can't remember their proper name but - not for me !)So, in a calm tranquil fashion I proudly produced a Chicken korma , nice and mild and yoghurty, a non offensive dish that even the most delicate stomach could manage accompanied by rice ( and peas !! as Malc likes green veggies with his ).We all sat down together to eat, a typical family gathering all discussing what we had done that day. I'm not sure what happened next but suddenly my right hand went into some sort of spasm launching my knife down then up into the air. Unfortunately for me on my knife at the time was the biggest piece of chicken korma complete with piping hot korma sauce and an odd pea or two which orbitted into the direction of my face covering my right eye lid and cleavage !For one micro second I sat in shock before screaming - " Quick get me a towel - my eye lids on fire !"There was sauce in my hair , up the wall ,over the floor, on my clothes - everywhere !As ( unfortunately) I am not particularly well endowed in the cleavage department - the hot sauce by this time had almost reached my belly button (!) as there was nothing to stop it in mid flow.Malc managed to get me a towel, I then wiped myself down, applied cold water to my burnt regions and wiped the korma from the ceiling using a mop !After they'd stopped laughing we then finished eating our by now cold korma !Saturday night - my third degree burns now healing nicely - Malc decided to "cook". I use this in the loosest terms possible. Malc opens packets and then times everything to the exact micro second. If he is cooking and the pack says 18 minutes then he sets his watch and he does not open the oven door until that time.It infuriates him also if when he asks me what time food is ready I always say- " Well about twenty to" or "I can't remember when exactly - it will be ready in a minute or so"Anyway - Malc decided that we would have "Fish and Chips" -again he normally likes peas but because of using them all up with the disastrous Korma he said that he would improvise (!).The kids and I were in the other room finishing off their homework when we heard the familiar sound of Malc's watch alarm going off which ( like Pavlov- signalled that the food was ready ).We went into the kitchen to find that he had loaded our plates with fish , frozen broccoli (!) and the biggest chips that I had ever seen."Where did you find that lot?" we asked"In the bottom of the freezer - I decided that we needed to use things up" was his reply.The chips looked strange, they were anaemic looking and long and didn't really look like chips at all.On closer examination I detected that the chips were not made from potato but were actually "Parsnips". They had been bought as an emergency only use - in case of extreme hardship at Christmas time and only in case there was a national parsnip shortage and we could get no fresh ones!Malc hates parsnips, so do the kids - so there we were eating traditional "Fish and parsnips" for tea.Sam pointed out when Malc was trying to defend himself statimng that they looked like potato chips , " It says Parsnips on the packet dad!".We ended up eating Chocolate pudding with chocolate custard which was lovely instead !!!!This morning I decided that I would have cinammon and raisins toasted ba[...]

Un Gawa !!!!!!!


Well we had a really nice weekend !

Our good friends Lyzzydee and Tom , along with Beth came over and I subjected them to my cooking ( rather mine than Malc's !) We discussed a variety of topics, established that Lyzzy has a secret talent for singing three blind mice in Latin as well as being able to quote all of the USA states in a song and generally had a great time !

We made them listen to several of Malc's 1970 record collection , having got a record player that does all sorts of things for Christmas ! This included that popular well known Truckers LP with hits like " Somebody stole my truck"! ( Wish they'd stolen the record !)It was truly dreadful !

Other news. Cheeta is now hanging on the wall of my study. I secretly actually like the picture that Cheeta did but Johnny Weissmuller in his pants is still on standby .
I was yet again surprised by Malc who has now bought me the whole DVD collection of Tarzan and his amazing adventures.

Why ? You may ask - I have absolutely no idea !! Why he has suddenly turned into the lover of all things ape like I do not know. I have never mentioned a liking for monkeys in particular or men wearing loin cloths or anything remotely similar.

However I am grateful that he actually toopk the trouble to choose me something and wrap it nicely - It could have been worse......... ( and I've still hopefully got Valentines day to look forward to ????)

Any way - Here is Cheeta part one


and part two


and finally ( I hope ) Part three


Any one else got anything similar ????

Blog Catch Up !!


Happy New Year to you all !I had very good intentions of keeping up with my Blog but have failed miserably ( again).I've been trying to catch up reading everyone's Blogs to see what has been happening and was really very sorry to hear the news on Travis and his house fire. Just before Christmas the school at the back of my house caught fire and burned down to the ground. Most of my neighbours children go to the school which has devastated a whole community - everything was destroyed - childrens Christmas presents made for their parents, pictures, photos etc. The only good thing was that no one was hurt and several years of fire alarm practice was put into action.Most of the children have been re schooled temporarily in porta cabins until the building is rebuilt. My thoughts are with Travis and his family at this time and a package is enroute for his boys.Sam and Georgina finished the panto last week - it was great fun with a brilliant party for all of the cast and crew at the end. They are already talking about auditions for Christmas 2009 which will be for Aladdin.Christmas was a relaxed quiet affair, unfortunately I had a horrible cough/ cold bug but it didn't spoil the day. It was fairly memorable because of the presents that Malc gave me. For months now he has been laughing to himself and saying " You won't believe what I've got you for Christmas !". This has highly amused him - having a secret and annoyed the heck out of me!Well the big day arrived and Malc gave me a pile of beautifully wrapped presents - I was really touched. On opening the gifts they were wonderful and nothing to laugh at - one of the best surprises was a beaded necklace that I had seen in a shop on holiday in Holland and unbeknown to me Malc had secretly bought it with Sam and had stashed it away.It really is lovely.I must admit that I do like surprises but I am also the sort of person that will hunt for presents - but I didn't find any this year !The last present to open was a strange one - a black and white photo of Cheetah and Johnny Weismuller - you know "Tarzan ". I didn't know what to say and started to laugh. " Why have you bought me a picture of Cheetah ?", I asked. "Because I thought you would like it " came the reply."Oh, Thank you very much", I politely answered.I was really confused. I like animals but have never really expressed a huge love for anything monkey like - very strange.Later in the day my parents came over and we had a traditional Christmas lunch followed by more presents.This is where Malc really excelled himself !!He brought in a huge parcel 4ft x 2.5ft in size beautifully wrapped in gold paper."This is your real present", he lovingly said."Oh how lovely" my parents said in unison.I was really touched. From the size of it and the excitement of the children I guessed that it was a framed picture of the family or one of the children."Go on open it Mummy !" the children said.Very gently , not wishing to destroy the paper I made a small tear to the top corner - revealing part of the frame.I was right.I continued to pull the golden paper away from the frame to reveal a huge picture of - a monkey's face !!!!Immediately we all started screaming with laughter.My Mum and dad were in complete shock - my Mum saying " What on earth ....."As I ripped the paper completely away, there it was an absolutely humungous massive picture of Cheetah -which was - wait for it " signed" with a Cheetah finger print and scribbled signature !!!!My immediate thoughts were - "What the hell" , "He's finally gone Mad" , "Where on earth am I going to put it ?"Things went down hill when Malc told Mum that he had taken her picture down to put Cheetah up instead !!!!I don't know what his thought process was behind buying the pi[...]

Santa's nearly here!


Well this morning I've been dashing around like a mad woman - just trying to get ready for tomorrow as I'm working until 10pm tonight and won't have a huge amount of time by the time I finally get home.

Malc - is still wearing his " newly altered" trousers complete now with no crotch - just to prove a point and aggravate me... but as it's the season of goodwill to all men - and it includes Malc - he can wear them like that until they " jump" into the bin on Boxing day !

The kids are both in the Cinderella panto and loving it - the costumes are lovely this year - Georgie is a fairy and a ballroom dancer ( complete with beautiful gown and headress) - Sam is a servant, a footman ( again - great costume all red and gold braid - he is also the " pumpkin man" - he has to dress from head to toe in black and wave a pumpkin around around Ultra violet line along with a couple of dancing mice puppets - looks really effective !

I've been helping back stage getting the kids ready and trying to stop one delightful child from "turning his eye lids inside out" at every available opportunity as his party trick !

I think I'm just about ready for Christmas although am having to leave Malc a list of duties for tonight including sprout peeling !

We've been so lucky this year - we've had loads of cards and gifts already - some of the cards have been fantastic - my favourite one so far ( apart from the kids ones) is a hand made embroidered card depicting a family of mice all snuggled down for a Christmas story - it's beautiful and must have taken Gerry ( my friend) months to make - I'm going to frame it as it's so lovely - must try to take a photo of it and attach it to this post.

Well -still lots to do and the clock is ticking - " Have a wonderful Christmas Blog friends and a very peaceful New Year ! xxxx

Will he notice??


This is the quickest post ever and a confession....

Malc ( my long suffering husband) is not very fashion conscious.

He has a pair of jogging bottoms - blue and white stripey ones which are the most hideous things you have ever seen. He will wear them around the house , in bed if it is cold (!)and generally slob around in them.He does this thing with both hands in his pocket and pulls them up almost under his chin - looking just like humpty dumpty - just to annoy me.

I've hated them since he got them - despise them in fact.

Well tonight I'm now feeling a bit guilty . He's gone out to get the kids from a panto practice and the trousers were - well just sitting on the arm of a chair where he lovingly folded them.

The big shiny sharp scissors flew out of the kitchen drawer into my hand and I've just cut the crotch out of them.... and folded them back up again ....

He's just arrived back in the car - do I confess all or wait until he puts them on later !!!????

Or do I get the needle and thread out ???? Mmmm let me think for one moment - Not on your nelly !!!

What have I been doing for so long ???????


Well I've been shamed into coming back on my Blog - my last post was in September!! I can't believe how long it has been - you know how it goes- one day leads to another, then a week , then a month , then two or more!!My 1st Year Blog - versary has passed also - I've been looking back on what I wrote when I first started up - but scary as to how quickly time goes by.So what have I been doing for so long - well Sam starting secondary school has really thrown my daily life out of the window - what with masses of homework and new routines to cope with and also home and family commitments - three of my family have had major Ops or procedures this past few months and thankfully all are well now. Work has been pretty hectic too and really daily toils have taken priority over everything else.But now I'm back !Luckily I've kept a note of everything that has gone on via my trusty kitchen calendar so can report back on some things...Following our fantastic summer holiday with Lyzzy dee and her folks and my long awaited 40th birthday - Malc took me away to Florence and Pisa for a belated birthday surprise weekend.We had a great time but as all of our other holidays / trips away nothing is ever normal.We did the normal touristy things - climbing the Leaning tower of Pisa ( not easy with a man who is terrified of heights and gets the urge to jump off anything higher than the bottom step of a ladder - still as I kept telling myself - he is well insured !!!)The Tower was amazing to climb - I walked out around the edge with poor Malc stuck like Garfield up against the stair wall - I must admit though at one point it was so breezy that I thought that I would be blown off the top -it also felt very lop sided but not sure if this was psychological or not !I forgot to mention that just before our epic climb we decided to go for something to eat in the square surrounding the tower. There did not seem to be a huge choice but we found a small place which was selling filled rolls and cooked food. We only had half an hour to fill before our time slot for the tower so we decided on a chicken pannini - this was the biggest mistake of the day !!!When it arrived the chicken inside the pannini was half cooked - on the outside only and practically raw and very cold in the middle. I decided that if we ate it we would probably end up with salmonella or worse. So I did the wifely duty and told Malc to take it back and speak with the Chef. Malc came back and said that the Chef would put it back under the hot lamp and warm it up a bit !!! I had images of us both having the squits for the rest of the stay so politely went to speak with the Chef myself.My knowledge of the Italian language is sadly very limited but in pidgin Italian and the use of Mime I reconstructed a rendition of " What will happen if you dare heat up that piece of chicken that you want to feed me scenario". This involved me holding my stomach and pretending to vomit whilst demanding that the Chef produce his meat thermometer so that I could check the temperature of the chicken !!Looking back now the whole scene was completely bizarre - but fuelled by this man's attitude - he waved his hands in the air and refused to give a refund or offer anything else to eat instead of a raw chicken sandwich ( not that I would want to eat anything there- noticing his grubby apron and equally grubby nails).Reluctantly we went outside rather miffed but still wanting retribution, whilst knowing that we only had 17 minutes until our tour started.Outside the premises was parked a police car with a male and female both wearing sunglasses , regulation thick moustache ( him not her) , peaked cap and carrying a[...]

Operation Blog catch up !


I just can't seem to get myself into action and I'm not really sure why.

Yes I have been busy with work, Sam's new school , homework (!) and life in general but just lately I do not have enough hours in the day to do everything.

My "My Town Monday" posts have been non existent - my lame excuse is that Lyzzy dee is doing such a fantastic job of writing about the places that we visited on our holiday - I've left it all to her !!

Yesterday I was 40 and one month old - how quickly time flies -it doesn't seem two minutes ago that I was celebrating my birthday in Holland.

When I woke up on the morning of my birthday I was greeted by a poster stuck on the window as I opened the curtains saying " Debbielou is 40 !". When I looked further I saw other posters attached to trees, lamp posts and other fixtures all displaying my face and age. We had been staying on a campsite and Lyzzydee and co had also decorated the caravan with balloons in the dead of night whilst we were asleep.

Malc and the kids had decorated the inside of the caravan with hand made posters and banners which was lovely. I received some amazing gifts too.As well as having 40 hand made birthday cards, Lyzzy dee had put together a very generous gift bag containing steradent ( false teeth wash), a Bob Nudd fishing video (!) , Tena lady pads, a feather boa , a back protector , a mug , thong pants , stripey socks , old age memory mints ,60's DVD, a lace doyley mat, a set of bingo dabber pens ,a wild thing cushion , a pair of spectacles ,fridge magnets and the most wonderful handmade bracelet and a lovely book containing poems and photos.My Mum and sister gave me two sets of beautiful earrings.

It certainly was a memorable birthday and one I won't forget in a hurry - Thank you ! x


Georgina has also had a birthday this past week and is now the grand old age of 9 years. She had a small group of friends for a party which was held in a new craft place that we have found and really nice. ( Lyzzy dee- we will have to visit here!)

Malc's birthday is later on in the month followed by Sam in October - so a busy time ahead.

On the medical front - Dad has had his 4th Op this year and has been very poorly indeed - He is still in hospital which is quite a worry but hopefully he will be ok.

As mentioned Sam has just started at secondary school which has been a change for us all - the strange thing is that the school he is at is the school that I used to go to and at least 3 of the teachers that taught me are now teaching him- really weird !

I am hoping that he will be as happy there as I was.

Our holiday - part one !


It seems such a long time ago now since our holiday that I really feel in need of another one!We had been counting down the days ( number of sleeps in Georgina's case) until we left old Blightly for the shores of Holland for a holiday with our lovely friends Lyzzy Dee , Tom, Carl & Beth.We (I) did all of the packing ( as all Malc packed was his own under pants !) got the car ready and left home very early on 7th August bound for Dover. It was a non eventful couple of hours in the car with several text messages shared between Lyzzy and I as to our progress on the good old M25 motorway.When our co travellers arrived we were delighted to find out that Carl had entered into the holiday spirit and had dyed his hair a beautiful white blond colour to match Malc's quickly shrinking locks of tamarind monkey shade.We drove onto the ferry and found some very comfortable seats in which to eat our home made breakfast/ brunch picnics. The last time that I had been on a boat was to a tiny place called Lundy island just off the coast of Devon, I have never been so ill in all of my life and was still being ill when the boat had stopped. It was a really rough crossing and I would have possibly sold my family in order to take the option of paying for the helicopter flight back to the main land on the return trip!Luckily for everyone crossing the channel was very smooth and with no helicopter in sight and only a short sail - we seemed to arrive very quickly.As we entered France we relied on "Stella sat Nav" ( belonging to Lyzzy dee and Tom ) and Malc's hand written notes on how to get to Holland. He had laid a huge map out on the kitchen table and planned his route with a variety of road numbers scribbled down on a scrap of paper which I lovingly stuffed into the glove box of the car.Stella had an interesting way of changing her mind at the last moment - our most memorable part of driving through France was a split second driving manoeuvre from Tom into a right hand lane off the carriageway which we had to follow or find ourselves in Belgium !!Tom earned himself the nickname of " Right turn Clyde" from that moment on.We stopped eventually for a break having tried to get Tom to stop for 50 miles by flashing our headlights !! ( Love you really Tom ! x) After this we remembered that we had in fact brought some walky talkies with us - somewhere in the boot of the car - they proved to be really handy as we had one in "Tracy" our car and Lyzzy and Tom had one in "Ruby", their car.We finally arrived at the camp site and started to unpack our stuff into our caravan. Lyzzy and Tom unfortunately had a problem with their accomodation but luckily this rectified and they had the caravan next door to us.Next door to the camp site was a theme park which the kids loved.Some of the rides scared the hell out of me. Georgie, Sam and Beth decided that they would go onto a chair ride- a nice gentle ride I thought. The next moment our children were being swung 40 feet in the air on a chair with only a chain holding them in ! They loved every moment of it and wanted to go on again !!We've never really been camping before so staying in a caravan was a new experience for us as a family, but one that we actually enjoyed.The vans were quite well equipped and very cosy. We had a large area of grass in front which became our badminton court and the kids play area. There seemed to be a lot of different birds in the area from seagulls , crows and sparrow type creatures. There was also a tiny wild cat living in a hedge nearby which the children tried to entice out and every evening a group of ducks walked past o[...]

I am still Alive !


Thought I had better write something as I am aware that I haven't blogged since 22nd August.

I still haven't uploaded my holiday photos (!), I've still got a pile of un - ironed clothes needing attention and I've had one million and one things to do which has kept me away from the computer - also as I'm now 40 I'm not as fast as I once was !!!

Lame excuses I know !!!

Sam started secondary school yesterday so life has been particularly busy. It's Georgina's birthday next week so I have been trying to sort out her party, Malc has been away with work ( again !)- not that he is the greatest organiser or help around the place ( how many school labels has he sewn on? - oh yes I remember - "Bugger all" - that's how many !!

Any way - I promise that I will post tomorrow and tell all about our scandalous holiday in Holland - and the dreadful family that led us astray and made us " bread" innocent campers roofs !!!!!

Watch this space..................

We're Back !!! - for a short time.....


A very quick post to say that We're back home , having had a great holiday in Holland ( Thanks Lyzzy, alias "Scarlett" & Co xx )

I'm now officially 40 ! ( or 39 years and 360 days old !) and feeling good.

I still have to down load my photos so will detail further what we have all been up to whilst away (!!!) as currently getting the car repacked for a weekend trip to Wales for a party.

No rest for the wicked.

What no Dolph ???!!!


Well today was the day of the great " Colour me beautiful event !"

Malc came home from work ready to face the wrath of the peroxide bottle for his venture into the world of the Blonde.

I have tried to reason with him but he has been committed to the cause of " Dolph Lundgren - ism !!"

We had to do the 48 hours skin test prior to the event - which was a task in itself.

I followed the instructions and put a micro dot of the colour behind his ear, allowed it to dry and then put on another micro dot. The reaction was instant.

Malc claimed that his head was on fire, his skin was burning and that skin must be peeling at least 10 layers !!

This was before I had even put the colour on - I had only touched him with the cotton bud!!!

Any way he managed to survive the night , his head was still attached to his neck the following morning and he wanted to continue in his quest.

I donned on the plastic gloves and opened the peroxide bottle , mixed in the colour and started to pour it on his head - the stink was immense !


Then the count down began - we had to leave it on for 30 minutes.

When the time was up -I didn't really notice any difference at all and to be honest the result was quite disappointing.

Malc has gone from Tin Tin to what I can only describe as a golden- ish Tamarind monkey !!!


It does actually look a bit blonder in the light but I think Dolph will live to fight another day as Tin Tin isn't quite ready.

I'm not sure why the dye didn't give a stronger result but Malc is really pleased with it !!!!!!!!!!

I'm only wondering if it will turn green when the chlorine in the swimming pool gets to it and he turns into the Incredible hulk or the Jolly green giant!

We're off on holiday early on Thursday morning to Holland with Lyzzydee and her family so I'm not sure how my blog will fair at present - I will do my best to post from some where.

I'll also be another year older on my return - so I'll bid you farewell for now.

Toodle pip & TTFN ( Ta Ta for now) !!

The countdown begins


Well it's only 6 days until our holiday and we are all getting very excited !! I have 17 days left of being in my 30's until I venture onto the dark side.This week has been quite a busy one - Malc has been away in the depths of North Wales on business. As per usual it was an eventful trip!He arrived at the hotel which was situated along the beach front with his work colleague. They parked the car and carried in their bags. Malc thought that the building looked slightly different from when he had stayed there before as the hotel sign was not clearly visible.As they made their way into the lobby area there was no one at the reception desk so they wandered around the corridor and up some stairs looking for a staff member to book them in. They thought it strange that there was no one there - but the lay out also seemed to have changed from last year - new decoration perhaps??No , apparently the "duo" had decided to brazenly walk into a residential care home for old folk - having mistaken it for their hotel - which was further down the street !! They had to make a quick retreat !Sam & Georgina have been attending a weeks drama summer school and were in a version of "The Wiz" - I must say that it as absolutely brilliant ! Sam played the Tin Man and Georgina seemed to have a variety of different parts with quick changes- they really enjoyed it and so did we.Our good friends Liz and Tom along with Carl and Beth came over for a pre holiday meet and lunch on Sunday - it was lovely to see them again and made us look forward to our holiday even more.On Monday Sam's friend came over for the day and the rest of the week has been a mixture of household chores, shopping, trips to the library, the glaze box so that the kids could decorate more plates (!) and also the buying of Malc's permanent blond hair dye in order to turn him into Dolph lungren or something similar!!He had decided - for a laugh - and before all his hair finally drops out that he wanted to dye his hair ( he was never allowed to do so as a youth and seems to be having his mid life crisis now!). We had intended to do it on holiday but as he needs to have a 48 hour skin test before hand to avoid turning into the human peroxide prince - Tuesday is going to be the day. He said that this will allow him the day to seek medical help should he need it before we set sail on Thursday !!!Liz and I have said that Tom needs a couple of blond bits too - may have to get another pack of dye to take with us.I have advised Malc that this is permanent dye and will have to grow out, be re dyed or shaved off - but he seems completely unfazed by this - what the hell will the neighbours think !!! And work !!!Georgina - the Queen of questions at tea time still has the unanswered question of " Who was God's father ?" This has been ongoing since last week until Malc finally announced that it was " Arthur Negus"Arthur Negus used to be a very old presenter on the "Antiques Road show" on the BBC in the early 80's !!!But Georgina seemed completely happy with this answer so peace at last at tea time - until last night when she announced that she had decided to check Daddy's answer with Canon Eddie at Church on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!![...]

The Perils of Lemon Curd


The conversation at tea time tonight went a bit like this.

Georgina: "Was Lemon curd really dangerous in the olden days ??"

Me - a bit confused whilst eating pasta: " Lemon curd?"

Georgina: " Yes, you know the stuff that the Tudors used for building their houses and walls a long time ago"

Me - digging deep into my historical knowledge and trying to get the image of a tudor builder wiping sticky lemon curd / jam up the walls of his house much to the annoyance of his Tudor wife.: " Do you mean wattle and daub?"

Georgina: "No, it was definitely Lemon curd or something a bit like that and I think it was poisonous."

After a few more mouthfuls of food and much thinking about the construction process of days gone by, Malc said: " Do you mean Lime plaster ?".

Georgina, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in an authorative tone of an eight year old : " Daddy , I do wish you would listen properly sometimes , that's what I said at the beginning !"

This was almost as good as last nights question - "Who was God's dad?"

Week of Eternity at Eeyores Place !!


I haven't blogged for ages and thought it was about time that I put pen to paper - well digits to dusty keyboard any way.For the past week or so I have been living in Eeyores gloomy place ( you know from Winnie the Pooh!!). I have really been in the doldrums and have spent most of the week crying at any opportune moment at the most ridiculous things including crappy day time TV! Life has been fairly manic and very stressful for a few reasons - work , work and more work and all the issues that it normally brings, my sister had a major Op which aged us all over the week and on Friday my first born child left primary school.Now , usually I am a very rational person and fairly easy going, being able to deal with crisis and trauma in my stride and having the ability to multi task at the drop of a hat.This week I have been "Gibbering psycho woman".I think the crux of it all has been the worry about my sister who is thankfully now recouperating but also my son.He has been at the most wonderful school for the past 8 years of his life. It's a small school where all the teachers treat the children like their own. It is a wonderfully happy , bright cheery place which is full of love and sunshine.Both of my children have been very happy there and have done really well.In order to celebrate the end of the term we have been to a leavers mass and an awards ceremony. The mass was beautiful, the children all did readings and at the end sang a song that the music teacher had created - there was not a dry eye in the house - it was really emotional.There was a party at the end which was great fun. The head teacher took us aside and advised us that Sam had been nominated for an award by all of his year group for the child that has lived out the school mission statement by always being kind, helpful, a good friend to all etc and that he was to be presented with the school shield at the end of the week in a surprise assembly.I went to the assembly having just got over the mass and watched my boy be cheered and applauded by the whole school as he made his way up to the headmaster to collect his prize - it was wonderful and I was so proud !!The children sang their song again in front of the whole school and again tears were running free - the school bell rang out for the last time and all of the classes were dismissed out into the playground where children were hugging each other, parents were saying cheerio for the last time and teachers were collecting armfuls of handmade gifts and flowers by sobbing children.We all walked out the school gate , Sam by this time decorated in his autographed school shirt proudly carrying his trophy.I've not slept well for the past week building up to his last day, it's crazy I know and I'm not sure why it has affected me so much but it has. My husband thinks I've gone a bit loopy - well more loopy than normal !My emotions have been all over the place - from sobbing to laughter to sobbing again.I feel shattered as though part of me has died - when it hasn't. It's stupid as I should feel happy that Sam is growing into a fine young man - but I want him to be little for ever and for the clock to just stop !!Having spoken to my very good friend Lyzzy dee who has also had a horrific week and a lot worse than mine still has a leavers assembly to go for her daughter Beth as well as the funeral of a friend - thinking of you this week xxI know that I'm over the worst of my "grief" as yesterday I challen[...]

Answers on a post card please


This week has been a challenging one - I feel like the Oracle - the Mastermind genius extraordinaire - and I'm not !

My daughter who is 8 yrs old comes up with the most amazing questions - and often I don't know the answers to them.

In the past we have had;

Do Blackbirds have ears ?

Do Hamsters have knee caps? to name but a few.

Today so far I have been asked the following.

Can Sea horses swim upside down?

Do our belly buttons stay in the same place when we get older and does everyone have the same shape belly button picture? ( She is convinced that hers is a rosebud - which it is!) Why does Daddy have belly button fluff and you don't ? ( Good question - why is it always blue fluff!)

I wish I could remember some of the other wonderful questions that she asks - I must start to write them down.

I haven't googled the answers yet - but answers on a post card please!!