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Preview: I Dwell In Possibility

I Dwell In Possibility

Updated: 2014-10-05T01:53:26.574-04:00


Finger Eleven - Paralyzer


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This is my current song obsession. Along with that, I am loving the video as well. The main girl in it is friggin hot. I mean, really hot.

That bayonet is simply fabulous!



Hi! I'm back briefly to blog about a... Get ready for it... Gay bomb!
An ingenious idea pursued by our great American Military. Goodness, think how the Battle for the Western Front could have gone! A mass orgy in the trenches. The
Christmas Truce could also have been a story of lust and love: two soldiers, separated by country, surpass insurmountable odds to come together in a time of chaos.

The world would be a more fashionable place now, eh?
Mullets would never have existed...
Barbara Streisand would be President...

In all seriousness, how can the U.S. government justify spending my tax dollars on something this ridiculous and downright offensive? I can't really add much to what is expressed in the video clip by the interviewees. The entire notion is so ridiculous and unfathomable - I cannot help but make light and use bad puns.

Now, what's a girl have to do to get a sample of that stuff? I could find a few women to test it on. Kiera Knightly, baby, call me.

I wonder if the government funded this
Gay Experiment as well.

Smallville: Phantom


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For those of you who do not watch Smallville, before I disavow you as Extremely Loyal Blog Readers (ELBR), I thought I would tempt you with the trailer from the season finale next week.

Oh, how I love this show.

No alcohol


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An American hero fallen.

Please, Hoff, for the good of mankind, no alcohol.

Hooked on a Feeling


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Oga cha oga cha...

Mmm rwarr?



Almost forgot. The print I bought at the museum. Obviously I am trying to reinforce the fact I am a lesbian by buying another cat print.

Look into my eyes: You will be assimilated


So, today some friends and I went to the National Gallery of Art and were very unsettled and, well, amused by a sculpture we encountered.

(You will need to click on it to view full size to see what I mean.)
So, seriously, what the fuck. Did the artist finish the masterpiece and think, "Hmmmm.... Sa'm'ting es missing..." (That's artsy speak, FYI - Most of my friends with were artists, they can vouch for this.) "Ah, o'course! Ze eyes! Zey haf no pupeels! Frederico! Vetch me ze black peint! ...An' another flagon of wine!"

And my goodness, look at the Baby Jesus. He's...Well... He doesn't quite look neither innocent nor child-like. I considered this on my extended ride home...I swear, it never fails that I will go the wrong way on the beltway every single time I try to traverse it... Naturally I spend my time pondering the Baby Jesus' likeness in art.

I surmised that perhaps the Baby Jesus' face was sculpted in the likeness of the Pope in that era. That makes sense considering how autocratic the Roman Catholic Church was at the time this sculpture was crafted. Face it, that baby has Pope written all over it.

I don't get the eyes though. I just can't see, the wealthy bourgeoisie who commissioned this, say that it looks great. So yeah, WTF.

Oh, I can't quite figure out the "thing" emerging from Baby Jesus' toga. Any ideas?

Emilio Estevez with Wings!


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I thought I would also share the video from my favorite Melissa song, The Angels.

Its strange, this had always been my favorite song of her's and I had no explanation why. I just felt something when I listened to it. Years later, today, I find this song to be an accurate representation of my life and experiences with love.

Wow, still feeling very gay


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...After writing that long ass post about gay magazines.

Ladies, let me leave you a video to reminisce on one of the most powerful statements against Breast Cancer. This was so moving for me.

I don't think there is
another time when Melissa was more hot. I have such admiration for Melissa and she is an inspiration to so very many women.

I'm feeling really gay today...


I find myself lucky to have grown up, and been a part of, the gay and lesbian rights movement. I'm a collector, I guess you could say. No, despite the fact I've been told I look like Elijah Wood, I am no collector as he was in Everything Is Illuminated. Which is a fabulous movie and a must see.And I don't look like Elijah Wood - Especially not like him in that movie. Not that I look like him more as Frodo or something.Ahem. So, I have something from every rally, every Pride, every "gay event" I've attended; then there's magazines. The magazines, all ones I've saved over the years, can be seen as stepping stones for me. Or simply things which had a profound influence on my life. They're in chronological order, not because I'm anal, but because that simply makes sense.(And I'm anal.)The Newsweek "Lesbians" edition is from 1993. I was a Junior in high school and just realizing my orientation. I bought this and kept it hidden from my parents. Hehe.The KD Lang one came out shortly thereafter and it probably is to blame for my slight obsession with her as a Senior. I HAD the damn Rolling Stone where Melissa Etheridge came out but I have no idea what happened to it.Ah, Glenn Close playing Margrethe Cammermeyer in Serving in Silence. February 1995. I was out then and I recall watching this with my mother.Ellen coming out in 1997 was groundbreaking. I was a budding Internet junkie who debated and discussed Ellen on the AOL message boards. Whether or not Ellen was gay was a hot topic and it got quite heated in there. I wish I could see some of my posts now. I wonder how my views have changed. Probably not all that much considering...I became a vehement critic of the show as it plummeted into the abyss of canceled shows. The shows writing changed and I found it painful to watch to the point I stopped watching long before it was canceled. I was very sorry to see it canceled, but I saw such a missed opportunity.Now that the show had the nation's attention, it should have continued along a similar path that it had been. She came out, yes, but it felt like she did over and over again in each and every show thereafter. What Ellen is doing now is exactly what she was meant to. She has, arguably, the most popular daytime talkshow which caiters to American housewives. She does not remind them daily that she is gay. She is down to earth and, even those who are homophobic, can feel comfortable watching a lesbian woman host a talk show.Anyway, I rambled there. The Advocate is from the 2000 Millineum March in Washington DC. Sadly, it is a little worse for wear then the others because it was a free handout there. Now that was quite an experience. Apparently I missed seeing the Phelps Pack there but I do recall one guy standing near the stage with some silly sign. No one really paid him any mind.The Karina Lombard issue of Curve really fits as a 'stepping stone' - She's just hot and that's a hot cover.Ah, and my sweet Melissa's announcement she has breast cancer. A sad and scary time. Oh, but then when she played at the Grammys with Joss Stone (I dunno if it was the Grammys or Emmys or what, I get them confused.) - Oh, did she bring the house down. What an absolutely inspirational performance.I think I'll dig around through my boxes for some of the the nicknacks I've saved. Unfortunately, last year I had a 12 pack of pop burst in the trunk of my car which ruined my cork board and everything attached to it. I'm very much regretting leaving that in my trunk for so long. I had to throw away a lot of the stuff I had attached to it. :( [...]

For God's Sake...


Goodness, this is an interesting clip and the first I learned of this luncheon. I have to admit, O'Reilly does have a point at the end. Is it true?

Rosie's behavior was pretty disturbing to me, though I do understand what the guest is saying regarding the context and that it was a closed event. It's no secret I'm no fan of Rosie, I thought it would take a lot for her to shock me -- This did the trick.


What Hurts The Most


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Alright. I really like this song. For the first 45 seconds get up and brew a pot of coffee or something -- the dialog during the song sucks and ruins the video. That's what you get for the first 45 seconds. Really, the song as well; since there's dialog throughout the entire video. And also that the lead singer kind of reminds me of that N'Sync guy.

So, now that I've convinced you on what a fabulous song it is...

Anyway, I guess this song came out nearly a year ago now. You see, I meet newness and trends at my own pace. A resurgence, if you will.

Go Hokies


It is so heartbreaking; listening to CNN. The first parent I had seen who had interviewed, at first, referred to his daughter in the present-tense. After doing so twice, he (to me) seemed to realize he was speaking of a daughter now deceased, and subsequently referred to her as one would speak of someone now gone. Everything which has happened has been such a shock -- I cannot imagine what those, who lost loved ones, are feeling right now.

I had written more, but it is just not flowing together right. I just haven't been in a writing mood lately -- Though I have thought up updating you guys many times, don't get me wrong. Now, when one could write so much, I find myself at a loss for more words.

300 - The PG Version


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LOL awesome

Spartan Fiesta


So, I'd been having some trouble with my Debit card in the last week. I have had this particular card for years so I figured the strip was going bad when I kept getting randomly declined. For instance, I was able to purchase my movie ticket for 300 yesterday (YAY), but neither my debit nor my Discover card were accepted by the concession stand there. I did get a free drink because of it, but wish I had opted for nachos as well if we're talking. Then, last weekend, my card only worked when using the credit option at a certain 7-11.

Heading home from the movie last night, my card was not accepted at the Exxon. Hmmm. I need to order a new card because the strip is going bad. Yeah. I would have been Miss Cranky-Pants if I had been unable to purchase pop. You don't want to be around me if there's none in the house.

Today I was going to buy a DVD online from Netflix and they were unable to bill my card. WTF.
So I waited, not all that patiently, to speak with a representative from my bank. After some time I am told that there was a block placed on my card and asked if someone had called me. Uhm, no. Hmm, maybe I just had an epiphany here, but I think it would have been absolutely wonderful for the fucking bank to tell me they put a block on my card. I think he even sounded surprised I was not informed.

Apparently, someone attempted to check into the Pico De Gallo hotel in Brazil with my card. Fan-tastic. I know you're wondering where this 'Pico De Gallo' hotel is and how you can join in on the fiesta; but alas, there is no such place. Whatever hotel it was, however, probably does serve some wicked pico de gallo.

But that's all taken care of now, so it's all good. In retrospect, I've had this account/card for quite awhile, so I should have requested a change in the card number awhile ago.

Ah, 300 was very good. I expected it to be much more fantastical rather then historical, but it had the perfect combination of the two. I missed a History Channel special on the movie on Thursday, but I think I am glad I did. I would not have been as pleasantly surprised. It looks to be a good program, if you are interested, you can view a 2 minute clip of the program by clicking this link.

Well, now to make sure there are no keyloggers on my computers. Fun.



This year has gone by so fast, wouldn't you agree? It's all good though, I'm as pleased as punch -- Wait, you know, that saying never made much sense to me. Anyway, I am eagerly awaiting 6:05 tomorrow when I am set comfortably in a seat; coat still worn since going to movie theatres is like visiting Antarctica, watching 300. Hopefully with a plate of nachos in my lap. That's my thing in movie theatres. Nachos.


Bittersweet Wednesdays


Today marks a year since I had Peach put to sleep. I absolutely dreaded, and still dread, the anniversary of Friskey's death. I feel sort of guilty that I miss her more then Peach, but it is natural that we choose our favorites. I think, anyway. I dearly miss the guy though. He was definitely a true example of the different personalities pets have. I miss his vocal, "Rawr-rawr meow rawr!" greeting and when I played 'kick his butt' with him. Yes, what you always thought was true - I am, unequivocally, a strange person.

With Friskey, the anniversary was on my mind days before and I dreaded the day -- I do this year as well. But, today was a much better day then this day last year. I had a wonderful date tonight and I was all smiles on the ride home. I am exhausted though, and tomorrow is going to be a long day at work, so this is not going to be a long post.

Oh, and for all of you cat owners out there, I wanted to also relay a link to a product I purchased for my cats which arrived today. When I walked in tonight the first thing my roommate said to me was, 'Whatever is in that package, the cats have been going nuts over it all day'. For a $5.00 donation you can purchase a kitty pillow stuffed with catnip. They've been going nuts over it! Meek little Xena even fought off Guy, who is twice her size and weight, for the pillow -- And won!

Spoil those cats and enjoy every moment you can with them.

The Latest Scoop


(image) Coming to store shelves near you: Steven Colbert's AmeriCone Dream by Ben and Jerry's. It's vanilla ice cream with fudge-covered waffle cone pieces and caramel. Yum!

Ben & Jerry's called it: "The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth."




So, I was looking on for this week's sneak peek at the next L Word and I took particular notice of an advertisement there. I'd like to know where the lesbians and gay men are who would give something like this to their partner. Seriously. I don't get it.


Maybe I'm just such the cynic that I cannot see what great thought was put into this improvised best friends necklace suspended by, not one, but two colors of string. Of course, placing myself on the receiving end of this gift, I know we'd eventually be BFF soon enough! Lesbians do seem to struggle letting ex-girlfriends go - And I'd have to go if my girlfriend got me a necklace like that.

And the commitment ring. I just don't even know what to say about it.

You Complete Me


All of you who read this sad excuse for a blog: You complete me.So, AOL had a blurb listing the top five romantic movie moments. The following movies were selected and the scene aired. All pretty romantic and gooey sweet. I'm just looking at the movies on a whole though. A great scene needs the proper amount of build-up.Without further ado:Pretty WomanI adore Julia Roberts, she is one of my favorite actresses and is so incredibly beautiful. Richard Gere is the perfect urban hero.Sleepless in SeattleI kinda think I like You've Got Mail better. Its still a good enough romance though.GhostToo much of a tear jerker for me. I like the movie, but I want a happy romantic ending! I think this movie had too much of an impact on my first girlfriend. She always used the term 'ditto'. Sadly, she was not quite on the bright side and thought it was spelled 'diddo'. Note, this was also the girlfriend who thought if you walked out into the ocean too far the continent just dropped off.TitanicMeh. See above. The part about happy endings. Ah, My Heart Will Go On was 'our song' with another ex. Oh, young love...Jerry MaguireI love this movie. The movie did make the lines "you complete me" and "you had me at hello" cliche', but it doesn't make less meaningful when watching the movie the first time. Er, and Secret Garden is another song I shared with another ex. WTF. Apparently it is paramount that a romantic movie with notable theme song is released for me to be involved in a serious relationship again.So here's the important stuff. What my top 5 Most Romantic Movies are.Notting HillI LOVE this movie to death. Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Yum. The first time I saw the movie I could have watched it again right then. Of course there is a measure of corny-ness in some of the lines, but its such the perfect Hollywood romance. The American PresidentMmm, Annette Bening. The ending is so sweet.Jerry MaguireSo, its a romance and football movie all in one! What more could a lesbian ask for? Well, besides it being two women... Someone pass along the idea of a sequel of sorts. Jenny Maguire - His estranged sister!Aimee and JaguarAlright so, a movie involving a Jewish lesbian living in Germany during World War II can't really end happily... But its a very touching movie. Also some steamy love scenes... I mean, if you're into that kind of thing and all.Love ActuallyHugh Grant again. I'm sensing some patterns... Oh, but don't forget Keira Knightley and Emma Thompson!Honorable mentions: Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (Yes, I know its cheesy), Superman Returns ("I'd forgotten how warm you are" - That line kills me everytime), Breakfast at Tiffany's, Far and Away (cheesy, but Nicole Kidman is so hot in it), You've Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally. Oh, and one more bit of ex commentary. I'm really not a slut! Another could not stand 'chick flicks'. This relationship did not go very far. Heh. But in all seriousness, I cannot understand how one could be completely opposed to them. They're just so sweet![...]

Oops, did I hit you...?


I saw this video on CNN and was easily able to find a copy on YouTube. This is insane. A guy going ape shit on a 75 year old reporter in Toronto.
Eesh. Everyone was really nice when I was in Toronto...
I would advise avoiding this fellow.




I have to admit, I laughed that now infamous Snickers commercial, but when I got to the ending I was disconcerted. I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about it though - I don't think it all is really a big deal. Mostly I was put off by the NFL player reactions, especially the Bears, I am sad to say; while they watched the three clips which were made. You can find them on YouTube if you want to watch.

In that YouTube search, I found this old Snickers commercial. See, now this was funny - For a commercial and all.


[sighs] I'm really thinking I am going to have to get rid of my cat, Guy. He and Xena were getting along fine it seemed. Tonight, I'm sitting here at my computer, the two cats sleeping on the bed. All of the sudden I heard Xena crying, well I guess screaming. Guy was wrapped around her, kicking and I think biting. The first time I yelled he didn't stop and kept on. When I stood up and yelled again he stopped and ran - Because he knows he gets in trouble when he bothers her.

I don't know whether he was trying to hurt her or what. He had to have crept up on her in her sleep because she was still in the same spot on the bed she was before. She was scared afterwards and crept around the room timidly.

Dammit. I've had this cat for almost a year and he's never done this before - Not like this.

Bears and Lez Girls


Well, at this time yesterday I was blissfully enjoying a great Super Bowl. The Bears were ahead, they looked hot, Devin Hester was the man and Rex Grossman threw a touchdown pass. Soon a cold, hard reality sank in and the game turned out dreadfully. This may not go down as one of the worst Super Bowls because of Hester's magnificent kickoff return. Small favors.

I feel like I've been talking about the game all day because, well, I have. The game had just ended when my phone rang and I hear, "Rex Grossman sucks!". I'm walking into work and a woman who works in the building asks, "What happened, Chicago?" -She calls me 'Chicago'. I think it's one of my favorite nicknames.

This is how the day went. Insult to injury - My NFC Champion Chicago Bears hat arrived today. Its a nice hat though.

So, I'm pretty disappointed and disgusted by the whole game.

The L Word episode "Lez Girls" aired last night and I found myself really enjoying it. The scene between Bette and Jodi was hot! But seriously, did they need to have a blunt? Are the L Word girls too good for a plain old joint? That struck me so funny.

Alice, of course, was great in this episode. Jenny - I'm holding on to you by my nails. I do not like how her character has developed thus far this season.

I felt kinda bad for Max.
I'm hoping Angus will be out of the picture soon.
I liked the dialog between Bette and Tina in this episode -- But I'm with Tina that Kit should be told. Now, explain to me why Bette is against telling Kit, but when she found out Jenny was cheating on Tim she felt the need to tell him? Is this because Kit is her sister? More inconsistencies in her character? With the L Word, who knows.

Let me just also say that I hated that teacher's aid and storyline who Bette slept with. I hated that character and I resent the fact the writers felt it would be perfectly within Bette's character to sleep with a student/TA. Is it just me or does that not fit with the Bette we know -- She wouldn't do something so unethical.

I hope there's no more scenes with Tina at some 'heterosexual gathering'. We get it. We're different. Apparently so much that we cannot co-mingle. The dumbest part of it all - The 'lesbian contingent' apparently knew of no actresses who were not lesbians.

Ready for the Colts


Judging from the lack of comments, it looks like everyone agrees with my stance on Gay Marriage. That was too easy.

I'm not in the mood to talk about gay stuff tonight, I just felt the need to point the lack of comment out. So...

Every September I say, "The Bears are going to the Super Bowl this year" - only half meaning it, I realize now. I've been a fan for so long, this moment is simply surreal. In1986, the last appearance of the Bears in the Super Bowl, I was 9 years old; a huge Bear fan - My mom never cared for football, but she always watched when dad was 'doing' the games. People in the Midwest use the word 'doing' a lot, fyi. It's a Midwest thing, not a New York thing like Joey Tribbiani would lead you to believe.

It is so funny to assert that sports were an integrated part of my life from a very early age; yet no one in my family was a big sports fan. You see, we were just a fan of my dad. So many Thanksgivings and Christmas holidays were spent without him there, but we had only to turn on NBC to see him. Or well, atleast his name in the credits.

[smiles] It was different on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those times, there would most often be clips from the crew wishing viewers a happy holiday. So really, he was there with us. Who doesn't like be seeing on TV? It was something that everyone anticipated. A Christmas bonus.

Talking to him the other day, he joked about how 'they' might pull him out of retirement to cover the second Bears Super Bowl. Tickled me to hear him boast about his job and also made me a bit sad because I know he misses it. He won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Sound (I don't think that is the exact title) for Super Bowl XX. Bears vs Patriots. He tries not to let on, but I know how proud he is of it.

Enough nostalgia.

Da Bears 108 Colts 10.

Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage


It seems I have had Gay Politics on my mind lately. I love a good debate and there have been some interesting ones on AfterEllen as of late. I think I need to just get it all out of my system. I won't barrage you with all of them at once, so lets start big.

Why Massachusetts legalizing Gay Marriage hurt the gay rights movement

When the Massachusetts Supreme Court declared same-sex couples had the right to marry, Conservatives immediately proposed a amendment to the Constitution be written, declaring marriage to be between a man and woman. Same-sex marriage was legalized a few months later and San Francisco started issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Bush voiced his support for the aforementioned Constitutional Amendment shortly thereafter.

I try to look at issues objectively and with some measure of logic. I feel no amendment would have been drafted if Massachusetts had not legalized gay marriage. Whether Bush wanted to address the issue at all is unknown, but this gave him little option of avoiding the issue. Conservatives were up in arms over this 'sacrilege' and feared granting us the same rights as every other citizen would harm the moral fiber of the country. We're the cloak heterosexuals use to hide their own faults and sins; obviously we're to blame for the 50% divorce rate in this country.

Obviously I am in favor of legalizing Gay Marriage, but I'm more in favor of passing Federal Hate Crimes Legislation. We're focusing too much our attention on Gay Marriage and letting a hugely important issue like that go unspoken. Does anyone really believe we will be able to legally marry before gay bashing becomes a Federal Hate Crime? The same thing will eventually happen again that happened to Matthew Shepard - Only then we'll revisit Hate Crimes legislation. Sad, really.

It will take years to undo the damage this has caused. Individual states will continue to ban gay marriage while the US Supreme Court refuses to address the issue. Some states still have sodomy laws. Hell, Alabama de-criminalized interracial marriage only about 5 years ago. We're still pretty early in the Gay Rights movement - Too early to push the issue of Gay Marriage in my opinion.

Fun fact: The first same-sex divorces began two months after Massachusetts legalized Gay Marriage. Way to show them we're serious about this marriage thing!