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Preview: Comments on automatic straddle: The L Word, Season Five, Episode Three [503]: Lady...

Comments on automatic straddle: The L Word, Season Five, Episode Three [503]: Lady of the Lake





Updated: 2017-12-14T23:13:01.101-08:00

 



Ah the senator. We can enjoy her alpha presence on...

2008-01-27T16:52:00.000-08:00

Ah the senator. We can enjoy her alpha presence on Desperate Housewives where we're supposed to hate the women because that's the guilty pleasure of it—so we can enjoy the desperate lengths these women will go to to get what they want. The tragedy of Ilene's direction is that soon we'll hate these characters we once loved and not care who they end up with. And yeah, Bette picking up young things in New York. Now that was hot, which is why she should stay single. That would be her enduring character flaw: success in all but love. Plenty of that happening in the way that we live.



Love your recaps. Rue = Roux - it's a base for so...

2008-01-26T05:58:00.000-08:00

Love your recaps. Rue = Roux - it's a base for soup - often used in gumbo. You mix flour and butter equally in a cast iron skillet over med. heat until it turns caramel brown. Then you add veggies and your gumbo is begun. Whenever ordering gumbo, ask if it was made with a roux. If it wasn't, don't order it b/c that means it's not real Gumbo.

Keep up the great writing.

Greengrassblueskies



I was really hoping that when Jodi would tell Bett...

2008-01-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

I was really hoping that when Jodi would tell Bette to stop being such an idiot baby face. Yeah ok idiot baby face isnt' exactly what she is, but she does have a big stick up her ass. I can't wait for the scene when Jodi tells Bette how much she hates her. Regardless Bette still manages to be really ridiculously hot!



family style = either a) a prison term for mission...

2008-01-24T23:32:00.000-08:00

family style = either a) a prison term for missionary position sodomy or b) something really really good.



Riese, will you marry me?

2008-01-24T05:15:00.000-08:00

Riese, will you marry me?



What's with Daniela Sea's voice whenever Max talks...

2008-01-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

What's with Daniela Sea's voice whenever Max talks about something technical?

That's ... really all I have to say about this episode. Which is sad.


P.S. Oh man, can we briefly talk about Shane's awesome drawl in the Bev's Angels scene? Too good.



oh my god, Max talking about the fucking camera an...

2008-01-23T18:04:00.000-08:00

oh my god, Max talking about the fucking camera and explaining how FIREWIRE works, I thought I was going to die. Was there really NO OTHER CONVERSATION he could've had w/ the Tom-lator (get it? Tom the Translator? Ha "trans" could be funny too. Are these not funny? Hm) that would have allowed them to flirt awkwardly? After discussing it at work today we have decided it was one of the worst episodes ever, of all time.



Who knew that the day would come that we would loo...

2008-01-23T17:45:00.000-08:00

Who knew that the day would come that we would look back at waterfalls and carnivals and ghosts and think "wow, that wasn't so bad after all". Dear god!
Ilene, how low CAN you go, woman??
The only thing that makes this SUCKiness bearable is you Riese! For f*ck's sake why doesn't she call you already??

KAY



-thank you for the clueless quote-complete-fixed t...

2008-01-23T13:36:00.000-08:00

-thank you for the clueless quote-complete

-fixed the bette/drinkng thing ... you're totally right. how did i miss that? I think I associate bette with haviland so much that they've become the same person.

-Who IS watching Angelica?

-This show could be completely redeemed if it turns out Papi's just been busy playing manny

-edilma: congratulations on coming out!

-I think Helena hid the money up her hoo-ha like Catherine taught her to do, remember that sex scene?

-AK: You're right that Bette's being a bit uptight, sort of control freakish, and etc. I think probs our affections are with her sort of unconditionally as we've loved her from all time and Jodi's a newbie. Still though I think Jodi's friends were assholes and Jodi should've at least made accomidations for the fact that bette didn't like any of those things and tried to make her feel somewhat comfortable, that's compromise. I don't really like Bette with Tina either, I don't know really who I like her with, I think maybe that senator she didn't kiss that one time? Tina's sort of coming into her shell this season. I agree though, clearly Ilene hasn't a clue, I feel like she tries to direct the plot every time that she writes an ep, and she just fails.

"If helena leaves just when she found her balls, the rest of us are doomed." = agree.

-I can promise the sunglasses will get better and better.

-"I hope it says Cunt" = brill

-afterportia: What's still amazing is that I freaked out so much about the fact that they were basically doing an OurChart commercial that I'm not lying when I say I fast forwarded through that whole thing -- with the profiles and everything. They should've had some girl with a backwards hat and an incorrectly spelled headline like "I lovez to eat puzzzy" or something, that's our chart.

-I also fast-forwarded through Max's explanation of the video camera though it pained Carly.

-I think this show could use some more awareness of Bell Hooks terminology, though I'm probs in the minority. Obvs I think feminist theory should be a part of every teevee show (seriously).



Riese, you are hilarious and I look forward to you...

2008-01-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

Riese, you are hilarious and I look forward to your recaps.
In re Lesbian sexy moment #9 you make a great point by noting that the scene reminded you of porn made for straight males. The biggest complaint I have about the L word is that it is written with the straight male capitalist patriarchal hegemony (using Bell hooks terminology) in mind.
The 70s generation had Charlie’s Angeles to allow women to feel mediocre. We have the L Word (and countless others).



Why I have to drink while watching the L Word: - J...

2008-01-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

Why I have to drink while watching the L Word:

- Jodi
- Bette when she is with Jodi
- Anything involving Jenny
- Max explanation of “technical things” (The Panasonic DVX blah, blah blah…)
- PSA’s for Our Chart
- Ugly “augmentations”
- Characters named after Ninja Turtles
- Ooooo I only have 5 minutes left to wrap up this episode so everyone …to the Planet!!
- 4 words: Written by Ilene Chaiken


What keeps me coming back:

- Alice’s hair in the opening scene
- Shane’s mouth
- Alice
- Shane
- Bette w/o Jodi
- Gaydar Guns
- Learning how to sign “sex phrases”
- The hope that Carmen will someday return
- The opening theme song
- Learning how to “talk dirty” - poorly



Totally agreed about the unsettling OutChart comme...

2008-01-22T17:29:00.000-08:00

Totally agreed about the unsettling OutChart commercial which was this epsiode of The L ... did you notice that it was also the WORST commercial for OurChart ever? Those profiles they were perusing, were full of SICK old, dreaded Lesbos ... oh yeah ... I think it was actually Elizabeth Ziff of Betty. Like, I'm not happy about this show becoming an OurChart-fest, but if it insists on being one, why can't they show some hotties on the profiles?

So not cool Chaiken.



Was that Charlie's Angel's thing the winner of the...

2008-01-22T14:18:00.000-08:00

Was that Charlie's Angel's thing the winner of the fan fiction contest? Really Papi? Not that it wasn't fun, when the gay-dar gun pointed at Jenny my wife shrieked "I hope it says Cunt!" We had to pause for general hysteria. How very like IC to pick a fan written scene that had no dialog so we all couldn't compare it to her CRAP-ASS give and take.

1. Jodi's friends sucked, Bette's attitude about the whole thing sucked but Jodi's friends sucked harder. Bette should've kicked that Mickey-angelo dude in the nuts.

2. There are art-collecting heart surgeons on Our Chart? With fake boobs? Great pants/slacks on Tina tho.

3. Rose Rollins needs an award. A major award. A leg lamp type award. Yeah, she's awesome.

4. AK, you are so fucking right on about Jodi/Tina! THAT is how we live for christ's sake!

5. So glad to see hot b.j.-girl back

5. I don't drink either, Haviland. For those who do, lemme tell ya, the L word is even LESS intelligible sober, especially this ep.

Cruz



Well, while you were doing that....I, being of imp...

2008-01-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

Well, while you were doing that....

I, being of impeccably sound reasoning, have been plotting the quality of each episode against the quantity and rotation of (sun)glasses employed during the recap viewing party.

HUGE correlation.

Keep that in mind, because at this point, there is no direct evidence that the eyewear is the dependent variable.





Yes, I am sober.



The only thing that could possibly be more boring ...

2008-01-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

The only thing that could possibly be more boring than this ep is if Bette got back together with Tina. Could Bette be more cold and uptight? She has absolutely no curiosity about her new lover's friends or anything else about her. She just wants a Make Your Own GF kit, but agree with you that drinking pond scum cocktails in the morning is gross. This relationship is doomed because Bette is a cunt and totally deserved being thrown in the lake; I just didn't enjoy it enough because it looked like a cold day and that really was a mean thing to do to someone so clearly enjoying the self righteous conceit of her middle age. Jodi should just get together with Tina and that way all hell would break loose in Hell World fandom and the annoying fans who pump Ilene up as their God would self-destruct along with all remaining motivation for this show because Ilene clearly hasn't a clue where these characters should go next.

And if Helena leaves just when she found her balls, the rest of us are doomed. Mama Peobody is right, we're not going to get anywhere hanging with this LA lesbian lifestyle because it is so shallow and full of itself.

Best line was yours "I love the smell of homophobia in the morning." Snort.



congrats, edilma!!riese, i agree: you're always fu...

2008-01-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

congrats, edilma!!

riese, i agree: you're always fun. no worries. remember that the more annoying the episode, the funnier you can be. do not worry.

several issues:

-if shane keeps on working out 7 hours a day and not eating, they'll have to hospitalize her

-i did not get who drove that truck to the planet, and gave then the keys to helena so that she can fly with her prison roomate

-how is helena gonna take her out from prison? where did she hide the money?

-peggy peabody was wierd. she is usually more fun

-jodi is really annoying, i don't like her and she is not hot. bette should be fucking young ladies in new york again. joe of brothers and sisters did great acting despite the annoyingness

- i want papi back

-i am happy tina is having sex again. too bad she had to deal with augmented boops. they looked totally unattractive

thanks again, riese.


L



The OurChart thing was so lame...and I really hope...

2008-01-22T05:25:00.000-08:00

The OurChart thing was so lame...and I really hope they're not getting rid of Helena, she's too damn hot to leave the show.

I hope they make more Charlie's Anfels parodies...or other shows parodies, like it could be the start for every episode...ok that sounds like my dream now hahahahaha.

You're always funny dear Riese, don't worry about that...but yes, all the bad things in this world are IC's fault :P

P.S. I came out to my family last night, they were really sweet and supportive :D



Helena also smokes like I did the first time I did...

2008-01-21T23:53:00.000-08:00

Helena also smokes like I did the first time I did it.

I was pissed off earlier because I couldn't read your re-cap from the hospital, so I'm glad I'm home and not in surgery now, your re-caps beat surgery anyday. F'real.



WHO IS WATCHING ANGELICA??! Is that where Papi has...

2008-01-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

WHO IS WATCHING ANGELICA??! Is that where Papi has been? changing diapers?



Ya know...Bette does drink. She doesn't drink cra...

2008-01-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Ya know...Bette does drink. She doesn't drink crap like Mohitos or whatever the hell that was they were drinking in the cabin. She does drink wine and Dos Equis (but who on that show doesn't besides Kit?). Maybe after this episode she may start drinking Mohitos or whatever they are. Lots of them. I might join her.



-My Doctor Told Me To Avoid Any Activities Where B...

2008-01-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

-My Doctor Told Me To Avoid Any Activities Where Balls Fly at my Face
- There goes her social life.

Bev's Angels was certainly the highlight of the ep. All down hill from there.
It did end on a good note with the UHH. Seriously, why did it take us 7 years to get a drink?



I was so completely duped by the preview by IC mak...

2008-01-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

I was so completely duped by the preview by IC making her Day-Queeries (on Our Chart). Thought this episode would be hot! Thanks, Riese, the recap completely made up for the crappy epi. Hey, IC...oh, never mind!