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Preview: Comments on: Why do Conversations Matter in Social Media?

Comments on: Why do Conversations Matter in Social Media?

Social Business Blog | Michael Brito

Last Build Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2018 14:16:00 +0000


By: Michael Brito

Tue, 06 May 2008 03:11:15 +0000

I have decided to close the comments on this post. While I respect everyone’s opinion, I believe that emotions were getting the best of a few of us involved (including me); and sometimes emotions will cause us to say things we don’t really mean. Thanks for understanding and contributing to this blog.

By: Josh Bancroft

Tue, 06 May 2008 02:17:13 +0000

Kelly- I hadn't ever considered that my voice comes across as condescending. I certainly don't try to be like that - I try to maintain humility, but apparently I don't do that as well as I thought. Do you really feel like I'm arrogant, condescending, and taking undue credit for things, acting like I invented social media? Wow. I didn't expect that from you. You've never given me any indication you feel that way before. I guess I should be glad that I found out now. It really hurts my feelings, and disturbs me deeply. I struggle a lot with Intel's whole culture of fighting to take credit for yourself. The whole stab your coworkers in the back, step on their heads so you get rated better at Focal. I always felt like I was having a hard time taking enough credit for the things that I did. I had no idea that people felt like I was taking too much or all of the credit. I'm sorry for that. This is the first time someone has brought it up. I'll try to do better. In Intel's history of social media usage, I took risks (not ALL of the risks), did work (not ALL of the work), and pushed hard to teach people at Intel about how to use these new tools. Do I get to take some credit (not ALL of the credit) for it? Can you tell me how much credit you think I should get? Or have you told me already? If I could, I'd let the rest of Intel be the sole judge the worth of my contributions. But that's not how Intel works - if I don't take credit for things I have done, no one else will heap credit or praise upon me. They're all too busy taking credit for things themselves, so they fare well at Focal time. That's been drummed into me the whole 8 years I've been there. Now my gnawing self doubt and self loathing are acting up. Excuse me while I go and do some soul searching. And write a blog post asking other people to help me figure out how arrogant and condescending I am or now, but I'm really bothered about it now...

By: Kelly Feller

Tue, 06 May 2008 00:35:58 +0000

@Josh "One of the reasons I'm getting so frustrated is that I wish I'd get a little respect for the things that I know and have done. I'm not the new kid on the block here." Josh, have you ever considered the reason you lack respect is your voice? You come across as condescending when you discuss how you invented...I mean...discovered social media before anyone else. Yes, there must always be a pioneer. And thank you for your efforts in that arena. But noone will take you seriously when you continue to tout your position as social media guru (even if you don't use the words) and talk (or throw around labels like arrogant) at people instead of with people. That's what makes this dialogue so ironic. You're doing exactly what you claim to abhor. So let's take this conversation out of the mudslinging ring and remind ourselves we are all human. Noone has a monopoly on how/when social media is used--that includes techies, which I consider myself to be as well, to a point. This should not be an "us vs. them" debate. We all want the same thing here. And in response to your this isn't my blog. But I decided to join the juicy conversation. I think that's allowed, isn't it?

By: Josh Bancroft

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:38:29 +0000

P.S. - I think that I really am your target audience, in the sense that you work on how Intel can connect with technology consumers. I am the biggest technology consumer I know, and my network is full of hundreds of others. I'm offering myself as a guinea pig for you to work on how to build connections through conversation with people like me. And then you can take what you've learned and teach it to other marketers. Everybody wins! :-)

By: Josh Bancroft

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:35:23 +0000

Yes, I read your posts. I'm subscribed to your feed. Here's what this one says, right above us: "Please stop by and let me know what you think. Feedback, criticism and praise would be greatly appreciated." I'm giving you feedback and criticism. I'm not trying to attack you personally, but I'm trying to make a point. I can understand you feeling defensive. I'm saying things that make you uncomfortable. But the reason I'm saying them is not to attack you. I promise. I've been doing this "social media" stuff since before it was even called that. Years and years. I know how to connect with people and build community. I know how to use those skills in marketing - to build an audience, share information, etc. I know what I'm doing. One of the reasons I'm getting so frustrated is that I wish I'd get a little respect for the things that I know and have done. I'm not the new kid on the block here. I just noticed something - your voice became human in these comments. You're talking like yourself. You're letting your feelings show through. We're having a conversation. I know it's hard to preserve that "human" voice when you go to write a blog post. I struggle with that, too. I always ask myself "how can I write this so that it doesn't sound like a press release, or something written by the marketing committee". I don't always succeed. I probably succeed less often than I think I do. But I try, because I really, truly, fundamentally believe that I should sound like a human when I write. Because I know that if I don't, it's a lot less likely that people are going to want to have a conversation with me. And the reason I write, on my blog, on Twitter, for ISN, or wherever else, is to have those real conversations. To make those real connections with other people. It's what I live for. I believe it's the RIGHT way to market to people - connecting with them with respect, humility, and in my very own human voice. Another reason I get so frustrated with how Intel and other companies are using/abusing/exploiting "social media" is that they use the same old command and control techniques, and treat it just like it's another channel or medium for them to deliver their message into my brain. It's an antagonistic view. The terminology is military, brutal, warlike. Tactics, strategy, campaigns. I am NOT a target. I resent being "targeted". I am a human being. Connect with me. Converse with me. I'm telling you how you (collectively) can do that. And I get pissed off when I'm ignored, and still treated like a target or just another set of eyeballs. Conversations matter because they build relationships. Links between people. And as you build more and more of those links, you start getting something really, really cool and powerful and worthwhile - community. To me, that's the golden ring. But it's possible to do things that hurt those connections, and thus hurt the community. Talk down to people. Target them. Treat them like nothing more than recipients for the message you want them to get. Don't listen to them. And on a more subtle level, you can do things that don't necessarily hurt the connections and the community, but don't do anything to build them, either. Things like being boring or uninteresting. Not providing any human surface area for people to connect to. In my opinion, that middle ground is the most dangerous place to be. It's where we (and I'm definitely including myself) get complacent, lazy, and (yes, I'm going to say it), arrogant. I'm sorry this whole thing spiraled into whatever it was. It's not fair of me to judge you as a person based solely on what you write on your blog, and I apologize for any offense that was given. I'd like to get[...]

By: Skawt

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:29:49 +0000

@Michael As rude as I might have been, I still stand by the circle-jerk comment. It's crude, and somewhat offensive, but it does accurately describe "talking about talking". Josh and I are techs; we're cut from the same cloth. We love the shiny high-tech gadgets. What we don't like is being ignored or treated as a number or a pair of eyeballs. Treat us like you would like to be treated. While it's true that we're not your core audience, this situation does highlight the issue of taking us for granted as potential customers. We may not be your direct focus, but it doesn't mean we can't be interested in what you might have to say - after all, the end result of it is to get us to buy a product. And if you listen to what we have to say, your approach to marketing to us would be much more effective. That's why we get hot under the collar - all too often we get ignored by marketers who think they know better than the consumers and just end up annoying us. We start to wonder if focus groups were even involved int he decision making process, or if it was determined by letting monkeys fling poo at a wall and picking what sticks.

By: Michael Brito

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:15:08 +0000

well, maybe if i didn't feel like I have to defend my blog, my tone, my passion, my ideas; it would be easier for me to open up and converse. looking back on the comments here .... my blog has been compared to that of masturbating, a circle jerk, I have been called a spammer, that I pester people, a slimey marketing guy, unhuman, arrogant ... and childish. do you blame me for not really caring about what you have to say? Dude, don't get me wrong, I am not offended in any way. Irritated yes; because your accusations are wrong. You look at my post titles; but have you read any of them? Excuse the defensiveness; but c'mon ... i wasn't the one who is off topic here.

By: Josh Bancroft

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:07:17 +0000

And when you say "I am in no way trying to please you or relate to you; because there is no possible way to please you anyway." that makes you sound kind of childish and petty, too. Can't we all be adults here, and debate the topic?

By: Josh Bancroft

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:04:35 +0000

@ Michael- The fact that I've never met you means that all I have to base my opinion on is this blog. And when you tell me "you're not my target audience", that makes me feel like you don't care about what I think, or ever want to make any connection with me. That the only people you ever want to have a conversation are those within your "target audience". And THAT'S why I say you sound arrogant. :-(

By: Michael Brito

Mon, 05 May 2008 22:58:12 +0000

@Josh Wow, no one has ever told me that my voice on my blog sounds like a slimy marketing guy or that I am arrogant. And the funny thing is that you never met me. I think the disconnect here is that you are not my target audience. I am in no way trying to please you or relate to you; because there is no possible way to please you anyway. And, your point about my sidebar. My background is in direct marketing; and have since evolved and changed. "We GET it. Now how about talking about something INTERESTING!" This is the core of what I write about; it’s my passion. If the blog was about golfing, I would be writing about golfing. And, if you want to get to know me, click about or connect w/me on Facebook, Linkedin if you really care. Oh, and you may not be a marketer by trade, but you are a marketer. Deal with it.