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The past 24 hours of questions at Ask MetaFilter

Published: Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:25:44 GMT

Last Build Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:25:44 GMT


How do you do fiber arts, fellow kids?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:25:44 GMT

What's a good source for knitting patterns for hats for teens?

I'm knitting hats for an organization that gives them to homeless children and teens. Any suggestions for patterns that appeal to the young people of today? I'm on Ravelry, but suspect that most of the knitters there are middle-aged like me and are not in touch with current trends. Are teens still wearing slouch hats? Watch caps? Bun hats? What colors appeal?

I'm looking for patterns that say "Someone cares about me just like you care about your children; I am a normal 12-year-old despite being homeless, and also I look as cool as the other kids in my class."

P.S. Presume I know about buying hats in bulk and donating them, or just donating cash to the organization, or all the other ways it's possible to be more efficient.

How do I Convince Landlord to Remove Mothballs ... ?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 16:51:23 GMT

How do I Convince the Landlord to Remove the Mothballs he Put in the Basement/Garage to Get Rid of The Mice I Complained About?

I have had an on/off problem with mice in my apartment. Landlord has been responsive with sending out an exterminator laying out poison, sealing holes, etc. However, after a few months, mice problem returned, so Landlord decided to use mothballs as a deterrent. Mothballs were deployed, I left town for 10 days, return to my apartment last night and smell of mothballs is still overwhelming. Woke up with headache and nausea. Apparently other residents have complained (4 unit bldg) because I saw a sign in our foyer from Landlord explaining why he put mothballs out. Basically saying "suck it up for awhile" because it's to get rid of the mice you complained about!! I have all the windows and doors open and am burning incense to get rid of the fumes, but the weather here is going to get cold again tomorrow and leaving windows open will not be an option!

Any suggestions for how I convince the Landlord that mothball fumes are toxic? I don't want to get nasty with him because he is trying to fix the mice problem, but I cannot survive the fumes!! What's the best way to communicate the urgency of the problem without being a jerk? Thanks!

Help me get the most out of my vacation

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 16:00:32 GMT

Hello! I'll be traveling to Croatia-Bosnia/Herzegovina-Montenegro with a small tour group in June of this year. I've not traveled to Europe since the late 1990s, and never to any points further East than Berlin. I'd like some tips/advice for getting the most out of my vacation. Details inside.

The tour has some built-in stops, tourist destinations, and places to visit, but there are also a few days where we are 'on our own'. I'll also need to find my own lunches and dinners most days. Now, having days to 'do my own thing' is precisely why I picked this tour - I love going off the beaten path and trying new things. The reason I went with a tour group at all was to have a guide because I don't speak the language (languages).

Can MeFi help me make the best of my 'free days'? Is there specific cuisine that I *must* try? Places I should avoid? I know and will abide by the standard tourist tips to avoid pickpockets and the like, but maybe there is something specific I should know about? How likely are the people in shops/restaurants to know English? Are there specific phrases I should learn (or try to) before I go? Are there things I should be aware of NOT to do? I have to make my own way from the airport to the hotel in Zagreb - they suggest a taxi, but what's the best way to do this? I have taxi anxiety even locally, so the better prepped I am the better I'll be.

I'm fairly comfortable wandering on my own, with or without a map. I don't expect people in a foreign country to cater to me in English (though of course being able to communicate is better than not). I know I'm going to come off as a clueless tourist no matter what I do, but I'd like to fall on the 'decent to deal with' side of that spectrum.

Places I'll have lots of free time:

Sarajevo - we'll be spending a couple of days here, the first is all scheduled activities, the second is a free day

Thank you!

Can I go straight from flight to flight at JFK?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 16:00:13 GMT

I have a pretty straightforward question about switching flights at JFK, but googling has proven fruitless so far: I'm taking an international flight in to JFK on Tuesday, and then a domestic flight from JFK a few hours after I arrive. If they're in the same terminal can I go straight from one to the other?

This is not a formal connection; I booked the two flights separately on distinct itineraries. Both flights are on Delta, and both are arriving at/leaving from Terminal 4. I won't have any bags to retrieve or check. I'm an American citizen flying on an American passport, in case that matters. Once I've cleared customs after landing, is it possible to go directly to the departure gates without having to go through security again? Or will I have to leave the terminal at the arrivals area, re-enter from the departure level, and go through security again? If so, does anyone have any tips on how to get from the arrivals section to the departure section as quickly as possible, without getting lost in the JFK labyrinth?

What jobs consist primarily of research and writing?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 15:59:55 GMT

I am currently employed, but need a new job. The two things that I'm good at and get lost in are research and writing. Is your job comprised mainly of these two elements? What do you do?

I should clarify that by "research" I mean the kind that you used to do for book reports--dig around on the internet, consult books and journals, interview a couple of people. I love to get lost in a new subject that I know little about and emerge at the end of it with a carefully crafted, possibly even entertaining narrative about it.

It seems pretty obvious that I should just be a nonfiction essayist, author or journalist, but I get the impression that these are not ways to make a living wage unless you're on staff at a major publication or a superstar book author, neither of which I aspire to.

Is there some hidden market out there for the type of writing I like to do? Even better, someplace that would hire me on, give me health insurance and pay me $36,000 a year or more to do this every day?

If it matters: I'm not an expert in any particular field. I do very general admin-type stuff in my current job. I'm a timid homebody who lives in a boring city, hates to travel and is possibly on the autism spectrum. I value security and routine, hence my desire to find a regular employer who will pay me to do this kind of work.

If you do the type of work I'm interested in, do you have any advice on getting into the field?

Is DC to be avoided on Memorial Day Weekend?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 15:26:51 GMT

Weird to be asking this today of all days, but: my wife and I want to travel to DC to do general tourist stuff in late May/early June. For a bunch of reasons, a stretch of time that includes Memorial Day Weekend looks best for us. But we're worried about the city being unusually crowded/gridlocked/hectic with Memorial Day stuff. Is that a legit worry? Would we be better off being in town a week earlier or later?

Austin bike route advice

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 15:21:43 GMT

I'm going to the Austin Women's march on Saturday and will be coming into town from San Antonio. There's a good possibility that my original plan for getting there (ride with a friend, park at a park and ride south of the city, and take the bus to the capitol) is going to fall through due to a friend's illness. I'm now thinking of a different plan that would involve bringing my bike, but need some help with a potential bike route.

Plan B would be to meet up with some different friends at the Austin Motel on Congress that morning and walk with them to the march. Instead of using the original park and ride option, I'm now wondering if I could take my bike, find parking in a residential area or business lot, bike to the motel meeting point, leave the bike there, and walk to the march. I don't know Austin well enough to plan a route, though. Any ideas on someplace to park my car south/west/east of the the motel and what route to take to get to Congress? I'm very comfortable riding in traffic, but also wouldn't mind using greenways to get close to my destination. I'd be happy riding 10 miles or so if I had to. I can come up to Austin on 35 or 281, but my hope would be to find parking without much hassle and use my bike to avoid traffic jams. Austin is never not congested, so I'm not sure what to expect in terms of traffic for march day.

Can you id this wrapper/packaging?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 15:20:00 GMT

Can you tell what this wrapper thingy is? It's plastic on the top and papper on the bottom side. It cannot be opened or used to store anything. Looks like a lid to me but hard to tell.

Hawaii With Limits

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 13:37:09 GMT

On Monday, my partner and I leave for a 12-day trip to Hawaii (the Big Island and Maui) with his mother, who is in remission from leukemia and who can't do more than an (easy) mile hike here and there. I'm looking for suggestions on ways for us all to make the most of this trip, despite these limits.

We will be spending 8 days on the Big Island (staying near Volcano National Park and then near Kona) and then 4 days in Maui (including driving the road to Hana)--and of course renting a car in both places. Along with his mother's inability to do any long walks, she also can't do stairs (bad knees), and doesn't like swimming, sunbathing, or shopping. We've done extensive research about fun things to do, given these limits (and searching for travel info for those with mobility issues has helped a bit), but we could use more help! Here's what I'm looking for:

*Unmissable views that are easy to access (i.e., don't require a 4-mile hike)
*Cultural activities/tours that aren't ridiculously expensive or which are at least well-worth the cost (free is always better, of course!)
*Best farmers markets/groceries
*Towns that are interesting, and not too challenging, to explore
*Reasonably priced, unmissable food (she is a bit picky as an eater, but as long as there are some nonspicy, nonsushi options, we should be ok)

We are staying in multiple places on each island and will have a car, so nothing is probably that far out of the way for us.

(Note that this is a trip that she was supposed to go on 20 years ago, when she got very ill and couldn't go, so this is something she's always wanted to do, and something that we wanted to help her have. So we're ok with the limitations we're working within, though we know they're a little challenging. She's a lovely person who deserves this.) Thanks for any help you can provide!

Mouse Back & Foward Buttons Don't Work in Virtual Machines

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 12:47:35 GMT

Is it a known thing that the back and forward buttons on mice do not work in virtual machines?

I'm using Parallels 12 Pro on an iMac (27-inch Retina late 2015) with Linux guests. Back and forward do not work. The same happens in VirtualBox (and VMware per online complaints).

Googling turns up a considerable number of alleged fixes for VirtualBox and VMware (not Parallels) for both Linux and Windows guests. However, when success is reported, the fix disables the buttons in the host OS. That's not acceptable.

I suspect the VM's aren't enabling the buttons in their mouse emulations. Since it appears to affect a variety of VM products and both Windows and Linux, I'll guess there is a reason.

Does a workaround exist?

How to trial medical cannabis

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 08:32:49 GMT

I'm considering trying marijana to help with pain management from a chronic illness, specifically Ankylosing Spondylitis.I've been on three different biologics (all TNF alpha inhibitors) for the last five years and am about to trial a new biologic targeting IL-17. I take 10mg continuous release oxycodone twice daily and supplement it with panadiene forte (500mg paracetamol / 30mg codeine) as needed. Some days I don't need anything extra, other days I might need 3-4 tablets. Some days, more. This is all under the supervision of my GP and Rheumatologist. The original pain management strategy was worked through with Pain Management specialist. We went through all the modifiers: gabapentin, pregabalin, tricyclic antidepressants and a couple of others I'm forgetting. I also occasionally use temazepam if muscle spams get out of control. I've been on prednisolone pretty much continuously for the last six years at various levels with one short break a few years back that left me debilitated for several months and this week. I've tapered off, again under supervision, so that there's a baseline to evaluate how well the new biologic is working. I'll be starting it in probably about a month or so. Lastly, I've recently been drinking more than I should, mainly to get to sleep. The pain at night can be unbearable. I really don't want to increase the opiates and I need a break from the steroids as the long-term side effects are mounting up. Hopefully, I've not left anything obvious out. I see my GP monthly to update the opiate scripts. We talk about everything. Same with my primary specialist, except I see her every ~three months. If anything does arise, she's very responsive to returning phone calls. So back to the pot. A close friend suggested I try pot to assist with pain management. He doesn't use it himself, but researched it as his partner was dying of bowel cancer. He's also got three boys in young adulthood. He encouraged me to consider it. I spoke to another friend who does smoke pot. She offered her support and spoke to her friends that grow (unsubstantiated, but according to her, one of the growers being licensed for the medical marijana trials in my state.) They've offered a cookie for me to try that's currently in my friend's freezer. If I decide to do this. I guess I'll have a source until the trials move forward. I spoke to my GP about it earlier this week, couched in terms of whether it would be a good option for me when it's extended beyond use in terminal cancer. He got the joke. He smiled and said he thought I would be an excellent candidate. He understood. I see my Rheumatologist in about a month, and I'll talk with her as well. Tonight, I broached it with family that are currently living with me. Huge support for the idea. They don't use pot. So, profile. I'm more than willing to try various meds to manage my disease. I talk it through all the time. I want to have an intention and an objective for any drug I add to the mix. I have never used illicit drugs. I have blood tests every month to six week to monitor detrimental impacts of my current regime. Taking opiates has never given me a "high". Generally, It takes away the noise of my back, neck and rib cage. It doesn't remove the, sometimes amazing, acute pain. I don't think I want it to. As an aside, I had surgery a little over a year ago to remove a skin cancer just under my eye. I was given Endone to deal with the acute pain. I've still got half the script left. A high is not what I'm after. I'm looking for an opiate-sparing option with a longish effect that doesn't lead to a high. I don't want a high. Just a release from the constant undercurrent of pain that is AS's gift. And a week of good sleep. Have I been repetitive enough? Is cannabi[...]

Using Xanax to deal with anxiety and replace drinking?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 08:32:34 GMT

More details within, but my drinking got out of control due to anxiety and joblessness. My good friend noticed and suggested that I take Xanax. Great, I no longer drink, or if I do it is simply a beer. I take a very low dosage a day (.25mg or .5mg if I'm very stressed), and I do not get a "high" or anything from it. It makes me feel normal and I've been functioning great. I mentioned to my doctor about as to get my own prescription and he went into full on panic mode, further stating that he would not prescribe it to me and suggested I go to rehab. I am not abusing this, going to another doctor feels like doctor shopping, should I simply mention I have anxiety and would like to try some medications? I do not like lying to doctors, but I feel as if I actually figured this out on my own.So basically I moved across the country to work in a very stressful, high paying job. I got burnt out as I am single, had a hard time meeting people (worked all the time). Furthermore the city this was in was very residential and anything resembling nightlife closed around 10PM due to volume so despite the occasional drink on the weekends I was not a big drinker. I had no hobbies and felt as if I didn't know where I wanted to go with my career so decided to take 6 months off as I did save a lot of money in this sales job. As I was running errands and thought I'd get a quick bite to eat at this neighborhood bar and grill I hadn't been to. To my surprise, at 1PM it was completely packed. All sorts of retired or semi-retired middle age or older men with my background. I thought it was strange, but they were all in my boat of not having a job but being fortunate enough to not have to work. It was not a scene out of Barfly, and I quickly made friends for the first time in awhile (again, realize not all drunks and probably a majority aren't Barney Gumble types, but at first I sort of justified this). Then it started going in at around noon after everyone was done with their golf game and sit there for 4 or 5 hours, drink as many beers in that time frame then maybe come back and watch whatever game is on TV. Hey, I'm not getting drunk, so its not that bad. And guess what all this anxiety I had is gone and I've replaced my job with socializing with friends. I'm still a hypochondriac and began to worry that this everyday drinking was definitely not healthy even though I wasn't going through a handle every day. This lasted maybe 6 months, but I could tell my drinking was increasing which was where I got worrisome. A friend suggested that I take his prescription of Xanax he doesn't use and told me he was supposed to take .5mg, but that I should start out with half that. It worked great, started reading again, getting things I put off together. I'm now down to half that (it has been two months), and was starting to worry I'd run out and it'd be great to have some around and that I don't drink anymore save for the single beer I had during a playoff game, which I did not finish. I thought he'd congratulate me on my healthier lifestyle, and I even said I know taking prescription medication like I was taking was not a great idea, but at the time was too ashamed to admit I was spending all day at the bar. This is where things went downhill: 1. He told me quitting cold turkey was a stupid idea and I should have gone to rehab. I assured him that I actually did count my drinks carefully as I was paranoid that my intake was increasing (it was). Furthermore I ordered beer as this bar was known to "heavy pour" and I didn't want to think I was getting 3 drinks when I was getting six, so I was trying to regulate it. In any case, I quit on my own and would not consider a single beer over two months a problem. 2. He refused to write be a prescription for Xanax and n[...]

Professional Conference While Very Pregnant?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 08:32:27 GMT

There's a professional conference I attended most years, but wasn't planning on going to this summer because I'll be 35, almost 36 weeks pregnant at the time. Now there's a chance for me to present at the conference, which would be great professionally, and I just want to be sure I'm thinking this through before turning it down. This is my first pregnancy so I don't have anything to compare it to.

The conference location is far enough away that I would need to fly - it'd be about 4 hours of flight time, including one layover and plane change. I haven't gotten a chance to see what my Ob/Gyn's general policy is, but from what I've read 35 weeks is on the edge for air travel, and I'd need to get the okay from them and probably a note for the airline the week of travel. Right now everything with my pregnancy is normal, but I'm only 13 weeks in.

I worry about spending the money registering and booking flights and hotels, but also committing to presenting as part of a panel and then not being able to make it. What's realistic here?

Electric toothbrush and receding gum - Correlation?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 07:51:57 GMT

I'm a new user of an electric toothbrush and starting experience a localized spot of gum tenderness/sensitivity. As of two days ago, I have been informed that I have a receding gumline and exposed root on one tooth. This hasn't been a problem before. Could my use of an electric toothbrush be to blame?

Odd question, I know. And I'm expecting the same answers that my dentist provided (i.e. "It's hard to tell.") But I'm obsessing a little over the future of my teeth and how I need to take care of them to prevent further problems.

I have mediocre/average dentation: approximately four or five cavities from my late teenage tears when I didn't think brushing my teeth required too much time & a couple more in my early twenties when I neglected them for a period while I suffered from a crippling period of bad depression/anxiety. In the present day, I floss daily and brush twice a day. I have been told I have mild gingivitis, but it has improved. I was using a manual toothbrush with soft bristles, but bought myself an electric toothbrush for Christmas (and at my dental hygienist's recommendation). It's the Oral B Pro 1000, if that makes a difference. For the past few weeks a specific spot on my gumline has been tender, but I chalked it up to... something: a possible abrasion, food particle, maybe a forming cavity in the area? And then I was eating a piece of candy (yeah, super great for your teeth), and had a sharp pain in the area. Immediately thoughts of cavities came to mind, so off to the dentist I went. No cavity in site, but the root is becoming exposed in the area.

So what's the deal? My dentist was not particularly helpful in offering recommendations for my cleaning routine. He just recommended using Sensodyne. I already brush gently (or at least I think I do). Overall, I'm feeling gun shy about my electric toothbrush. Currently went back to using a manual toothbrush and trying to look up information, which hasn't been as fruitful as I would like.

Anyone have similar issues with electric toothbrushes? Or is it just a occurring from previous poor dental habits and not actually correlated to my new electric toothbrush use?

Flavours of Licensing Models for Open Development + Scale Monetisation

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 07:09:09 GMT

What are the best examples of successful products / companies with a licensing model that releases code to the dev community allowing them to operate a small instance for $0, however, if an instance scales over a threshold, then the licensing model introduces charging on a per instance / per size / per traffic basis?

NYC real estate advice - when to move?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 05:35:07 GMT

i've been approved for a good-sized, mostly affordable apartment in a neighborhood that i love. moving in will conflict with an especially busy time at work and will entail breaking my current lease (and some attendant expense). but it's a neighborhood that i've lived in before and love. should i take it?i lived in the same apartment in boerum hill in brooklyn for 17 years before finally being priced out in 2014. i loved living there - access to shops and restaurants, lots of transportation, jogging on the brooklyn bridge, etc. it felt like home, after all those years. i moved with sad resignation, grateful for the time that i was able to spend there. i landed in bed-stuy, in a pretty cool apartment. the neighborhood has its charms but its nowhere near as easy or nice as boerum hill (i'm dependent on the a/c trains; although the restaurant/bar situation is improving it still leaves a bit to be desired; and i was mugged last year). i've always harbored dreams of moving back to boerum hill, although i generally relegated them to dream status on account of the skyrocketing rents. but i'd keep a casual eye on streeteasy to see if something arose. part of the problem is that i'm 46 (ie would really rather avoid non-romantic roommates) and a professional musician - so i'm around the apartment a lot and i have a lot of gear. i not only want an affordable apartment in a nice neighborhood, i want a big and affordable apartment in a nice neighborhood. not asking too much, right? now, i'm just about to start a new gig, on broadway, where things will be impossibly intense through mid-march. this is all good - i really like my job and am excited about it. i just need to prepare to have very little flexibility for the next 6 weeks. also, although we all have reason to believe that this new show is going to do pretty well, no one can say for sure. there are no guarantees for how long i'll be employed. that said, i've been at this racket for about 15 years, so i'm a known quantity - you can't take work for granted, but i'm also not a newcomer. and that works in my favor, work-wise. in the eventuality that new gig ends earlier than we all hope. anyway, on one of my casual glances at streeteasy, i found the impossible - an apartment in boerum hill for an amount that is doable albeit at the high end of things for me (about 30% more than i'm paying now) but i think i can still swing. the apartment itself is nice, but just that - it's not a mind-blower, love-at-first-sight situation. it definitely has enough room for me and my guitars. it's perfectly located - it's around the corner from the beloved address i lived at for 17 years! the problem is that the move date lands right in the middle of my intense work schedule, of course. and more frustratingly, the whole situation reeks a bit of impulse - i'm accustomed to thinking of nyc real estate and a sisyphean struggle, whereas this just fell in my lap. surely i can't be THAT lucky, can i? also - although i think i can swing the rent now, as it increases over the years it will become unfeasible before too long - and then i'll likely need to move again. so i'm struggling with how to juggle all of these things. totally doable apartment for acceptable rent in a fantastic neighborhood at a shitty time... or else sit tight, give myself some breathing room, look around a little longer, and wait to pull the trigger - even at the expense of moving back to my most desired neighborhood. and i'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it all! does this make sense? do you good people have any objectivity and/or wisdom to offer me? [...]

Is he JUST interested in my body, and is that so wrong?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 05:33:25 GMT

I'm a straight female, early 30s. I've dated plenty of guys, nearly all of them smarter and more accomplished than myself. I have never - not for one moment - felt that any of them was just interested in my body... until now.

I've lately been involved with a new guy my age, and he's very complimentary and touchy-feely and seems genuinely to be a HUGE fan of my body. Sometimes he will just stop and stare at me, like a tourist at Niagara Falls... or like someone beholding the most attractive person on Earth (which I certainly am not)... or like someone about to marry his bride after years of dating and growing into soulmates (which we are not, after a handful of dates). He has complimented almost every part of my body, including parts nobody has ever complimented before because they aren't all that special. I mention that we're the same age to rule out any sort of older man / younger woman dynamic that people might otherwise identify as the culprit here.

At first I thought he was insincere, some kind of Don Juan turning on the charm, but now - for reasons too complicated to list here - I do think he's genuinely very attracted to me. To my PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, that is. This guy is in a state of heightened physical arousal whenever we're together. He cannot hug me without becoming "hard" and sort of involuntarily grinding against me. (I don't have a wealth of dating experience, but... is this normal? Maybe in some subset of the population?) We have not yet had sex but there's been some clothing removal and rounding of bases, and if I undress to any degree he first commands me to "hold still" while he moves a few paces away and just stares at me, as though committing the image to memory. It was flattering at first but HELLO I HAVE A PERSONALITY TOO.

He has never complimented anything about me other than my appearance. If I say something clever or witty he doesn't really seem to react. We don't have deep conversations, and I can't help but feel he's *distracted* by my appearance while we are together and can only focus on that to the exclusion of other things. Maybe I'm naive to think that other men do care about inner qualities - after all, lots of brilliant men marry pretty but non-brilliant women, and it's almost seen as an exchange of different goods of equal value - and my own witty, literary, musical brother is in love with his quiet, stolid, unintellectual, hobbyless girlfriend (she is absolutely stunning). But I've never had this problem before, and have never EVER wondered - while dating brilliant, accomplished men - if they were "just in it for the physical attraction."

Am I overthinking this? Is he like other guys, only he's clumsily unfiltered and indiscreet? I was flattered at first but it's starting to feel sort of impersonal and animalistic. I also worry that we can't have intellectual conversations, which is for me one of the main benefits of a romantic relationship. I'm probably going to stop seeing this guy, but I wonder if this is something I shouldn't worry about in the future. Maybe I should be grateful to find someone so viscerally attracted to my body, someone who sees my flaws through rose-colored glasses. I'll miss this if the next guy - hopefully a brainier type than this one - rarely throws a compliment my way.

Safety of using an aquarium pump as a toy

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 04:36:22 GMT

My two-year-old loves to play in running faucets for long periods of time (usually "washing" things like plastic plates or his hands), but I don't like to let the water run indefinitely for cost and conservation reasons. I got this little aquarium pump and it has nicely solved this problem. I fill the sink, stick the pump in and attach aquarium tubing to it, and he uses the tubing like a hose to do his "washing".

Are there safety risks to doing this? I'm thinking mainly of electrical shocks if the unit malfunctions. There don't seem to be moving parts (like fans or blades) that he could touch. The unit does get somewhat hot sometimes, but not such that it would burn him. He's supervised when he's using it, so I'm less worried about stuff he could do to the unit, and more about if the unit could malfunction and shock him suddenly.

Any advice for training a deaf puppy?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 04:24:07 GMT

Starting tomorrow, I will be fostering this little guy, a 12-week old dalmatian mix. He's deaf, and I have zero experience working with deaf dogs. As per the rescue group's requirements, I'll be taking him to puppy socialization classes (yay!) but I think the training is going to be up to me. Can anyone offer any advice or suggest resources that might be helpful? Also, I'd love to hear some name suggestions.

Name That Cartoon: "We Fight"

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 04:11:19 GMT

This is like name that tune with barely any lyrics, but instead it's a cartoon from the 80's or 90's that I remember only one scene of.

Scene involved what I believe was an anthropomorphic animal, maybe a wolf or a big cat, female, squinting her eyes and saying "We fight" in a menacing way. It was definitely in response to an either/or question, where the answer was "We fight."

Would have been in the US, late 80's or early 90's. Definitely a cartoon, could have been a cartoon movie but more likely a serialized Saturday morning cartoon. Youtube scene would be amazing, but even some leads on what cartoons to pursue would help. Maybe you can jog my memory more?

How can I better enjoy film festival screenings as a restless person?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 04:02:53 GMT

I'll be attending multiple Sundance Film Festival screenings, but I get pretty fidgity throughout movies. Any ideas for enjoying the experience more?

The Sundance Film Festival is right in my backyard and every year I get excited about trying to catch as many films as I can, only to find myself becoming increasingly restless and fidgity during screenings. I definitely have this issue watching movies at home as well, but there I can pause and take breaks or use my phone for a minute without bothering anyone. And at the cinema I avoid sitting close to anyone so I can wiggle around a lot, but Sundance screenings are packed and I don't want to bother people sitting next to me with my leg bouncing and fidgity habits.

I am trying to prepare myself this time around with a few ideas for getting through so much screen time without feeling so restless. A few things I'm going to try are taking in a small lap blanket to feel a little more cozy, and maybe pressing my back up against a tennis ball on the theater seats (or sitting on it) and subtly shifting my weight around a bit to relieve muscle tension and get a little movement in without being distracting.

I wanted to see if anyone here might have additional suggestions? Thank you, thank you!

I'm, still annoyed, but don't want to be

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 03:45:20 GMT

Prior to our summer holiday recently (here in Australia), I had suggested, well really on the suggestion of my partner, that we (me, my partner and her two boys 12 & 15 yo) meet my sister and her son (13 yo) somewhere on the coast between our respective cities. We met them for a few days last year and everyone had fun, especially the kids.

Last year was slightly different - we were driving from their city, Sydney to our city, Melbourne and it was a pretty handy stop off on the way down the coast. (Though before arriving at said place she did tell us that we could only stay two nights after all because she and her then partner needed some them time)
So, last year in about September I broached my sister about a possible upcoming trip very carefully, knowing that she is not so great at just saying no to things, and I said things like, 'I totally understand if you don't want to', 'there's no pressure', 'hanging out with a couple can be painful I get it', etc etc but we thought it could be fun to have a holiday together on the coast somewhere between our cities
And she was very much like 'sure, we'll stay for a good chunk of it'. So my partner and I went ahead and booked a three bedroom place to accommodate us all and at a place that was, well much closer to them than us. An 8 hour drive for us, 6 for them. Long either way, I guess.
But not long before Christmas sister sent me an email saying, 'so we're just staying a couple of days'.... and made up some excuse about going somewhere else with her getting back together with partner. And now, I should have said, 'WTF, we're driving all that way, and we've rented a big house for us and you're staying a couple of days?!'. But, no, and I beat myself up for not being more forthright, but I've had experiences in the past with sister where I've tried to express anger and she basically flies back in a rage at me. Last time over a family matter (another thing, our family is extremely splintered, dysfunctional and I've had years of therapy because of my experiences within it). I had disagreed with her about something and she got so angry and didn't speak to me for a year. So, there's that fear I have, but also I just wish I could be honest. I actually really prize and value honesty in relationships and thought that after some rough times our relationship had evolved a bit.
She didn't apologise or anything. She came down the coast with her newly reinstated partner and his daughter and all was fine. The kids had lots of fun. Everything was nice and easy. But I still felt annoyed, and still do now, and I know the value of getting things out in the open (well, I've had years of therapy) but I just can't seem to do this, especially now time has elapsed, she'll be even more cranky. So a month later, still annoyed that we were just brushed off like that and spent an entire day in the car with two teenage boys when we could have driven 3 for a perfectly fine beach holiday! We usually email eachother pretty regularly, but I find I just can't be interested in daily conversation when I'm still annoyed. How do I get over this?

Would you eat it? Plated edition.

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 02:43:24 GMT

I ordered a Plated delivery that was supposed to arrive on Wednesday and they say the food is good in its box until midnight on the delivery date. Well, my package got delayed and arrived at 6pm on Thursday.

The food comes in a carboard box with two filled frozen packs that covered the bottom of the box -- both were still frozen solid -- and the box was lined with an insulation that appeared to be cardboard and paper bits in plastic. The food arrived sort of cold, but not as cold as in a fridge, obviously.

The food didn't appear to be ruined -- I have not yet opened everything up and given a thorough inspection -- but items of note that I am not sure if I should worry about:
• raw pizza dough
• (very soft) burrata cheese
• ball of mozzarella cheese
• (semi-slimy) pre-cubed butter squash
• arugula
• dinosaur kale
• bok choy

I'm not sure if there's anything I should toss out of an abundance of caution or not. So, it's time for everyone's favorite game: Would. You. Eat it?! My gastrointestinal system thanks you in advance.

Flaky pressure cooker

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 02:04:44 GMT

I've got an electric pressure cooker (Instant Pot knockoff; I think it's this one) that came with a non-stick coating on the inner pot, which is now starting to flake off. Can I just pop in one of Instant pot's replacement inner pots? How forgiving of slight differences in dimension are these things?

On the Amazon description for the replacement pot they seem quite adamant that it "does not fit any other brands", which, seriously? It's a pot. That said, I am not super keen to spend $40+ on a pot that doesn't quite fit (too large and I can't get it in; too small and I have visions of like, pressurized food flying out of a not-quite-perfectly-sealed pot).

I found Instant Pot's specifications for the dimensions for the inner pot, but they're frustratingly imprecise. Hope me?

I need to ditch WordPress, but for what?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 01:41:24 GMT

I've been running WordPress on my personal domain for about a decade, if not more, and lately it's been getting worse. I want to replace it with something, but I don't know what, since I haven't been keeping up with what the cool kids are using to blog these days. (Something about static blog generators?) Special Snowflake Stuff inside.

Okay, so, there's a few prerequisites I need to establish for whatever the hell I jump ship to.

  1. Has to be self-hosted. I'm not switching to Medium or Squarespace.

  2. Has to be installable on DreamHost. I'm not switching hosts, at least not yet.

  3. Has to have some way to import my WordPress posts

  4. Ideally has a decent enough theme engine that I could essentially reuse my existing WordPress theme with a minimum of fuss.

I'm at a loss. I'm tech-savvy enough to go through hoops, but I'm time constrained and lazy enough to not bother. If WordPress hadn't just made me absolutely apocalyptic trying to fix a bunch of errors due to failed plugin updates, I wouldn't even be looking to change.

should this special snowflake break up with her therapist?

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 00:37:50 GMT

I switched therapists about four months ago when I moved. I was with Pete for just under a year and *loved* him. New lady is very different, but I wanted to give her a fair chance. However I find now that I often leave therapy angrier than when I went in. Is this normal? Is there something up with me, that it might actually be beneficial for me to stick this out? If not- how do I leave?Pete used strengths-based psychotherapy. I came in with ADHD, depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive symptoms. I had recently accepted that I'm bisexual, but I wasn't out to my family. I was a wreck. Pete never told me what to do. He never suggested there might be some fucked up underlying cause behind my crazy relationships or my vices. I learned a lot from those experiences (polyamory, BDSM, soft drugs) It was Pete's guidance thru that, that helped me become the more integrated, emotionally mature person that I believe myself to be today. Janice is... a hardass. She sees both aneurotypical high performers (yours truly) and severely personality-disordered low-income folks. She gives her patients life homework and checks up on them. She always demands to know, whenever I tell her a thought or a habit, "What function does that serve?" When I came to her I was in an admittedly toxic relationship that was also the strongest chemistry I've ever had. She talked shit about him constantly and questioned my judgment for ever having started to date the guy, given red flags like being unemployed and living with parents (in my defense he had just repatriated.) She was totally right to tell me to get the fuck out of it--but I can't help thinking that Pete would have, well, trusted me enough to let me come to that on my own. Recently I told her I'm identifying as a political lesbian, for several reasons: (1) feminist politics, (2) aforementioned previous relationship unearthed a really unhealthy tendency to use men in my life as a punching bag for all my frustrations about patriarchy, which isn't fair to them or healthy for me, (3) having only come out recently I want to spend more time dating women, and (4) most of the bi girls here seem to be opposite-sex partnered and looking for thirds or side-chicks, whereas I am looking for serious partners. Well, instead of telling me she was proud of me, or even just saying "OK well we'll see how that goes," she had to take the opportunity to pry further into that decision, to speculate out loud "why I feel the need to limit myself," "surely you can't think all men are like that," (sorry gents but I PRETTY MUCH DO) "shouldn't you just try and be happy with whomever you find, whether that's a man or a woman?" And it felt like she was trying to talk me out of calling myself a lesbian. Like I was only doing it because there's something deeply fucked inside of me that has nothing to do with my actual sexual/dating preferences (and then I guess it follows that if I sorted my shit out, I would start dating men again?? which trivializes even my bisexuality) Then she kept pushing and pushing me about how this all relates to my need for control (which I KNOW is the primary problem in my life thankyouthatswhyimhere) and basically wouldn't stop til I broke down crying--then seemed surprised and sympathetic because "you're usually so aloof," like she had no idea that pushing on my weak spots would cause me to break. I am just flummoxed bec[...]

Am I too selfish? Help me be more altruistic.

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 00:36:31 GMT

Recent situations have shown me that I am not helpful enough and that I'm being selfish.

I am annoyed when people ask me for favors. I'm in my early twenties and live with my parents rent free and I'm still not grateful enough to help some more around the house. Right now I live with relatives who have recently immigrated and I've become resentful of all the things I have to do for them. (filling out paperwork, driving them to places, etc.) I have this fear of a loss of control and that they will take advantage of me. I rarely go out of my way to help others, although I do have empathy for those in bad situations. I scored 37% on the egoism/altruism test by psychology today. Help me be less annoyed and want to be more helpful!

Childlike voice, animated cat interviewing academic scholars?

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 23:33:05 GMT

Asking for a friend: he remembers watching a animated series online a long time ago where there was a cat who had a feminine yet very childlike voice but did these amazing insightful interviews with scholars and scientists. He remembers nothing else but is dying to see these again. My googling keeps pulling up critiques on vocal fry or "how to be a female in animation" stuff. Anyone else remember this series? (We were talking about Maria Branford to give an example of the vocal type)

How to best communicate a side business to potential clients?

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 20:08:05 GMT

I recently started a side business. I already own another relatively successful business, and I want to operate this second one as kind of an occasional thing, just to explore for now and maybe grow down the road. Both businesses are consultancies. How do I communicate this dual-operation situation without scaring people off or sounding like a jack of all trades?

I will be discussing this situation with existing clients and colleagues, and I want to prepare for that. I'm hoping that my potential clients, existing clients, and colleagues will:

- Understand that I have multiple specialties and that's just a thing some people do
- Understand that I'm doing this seriously
- Not fear that I'll cease operating my main business (I like it and plan to continue), as it provides important online communications software and infrastructure for many organizations.

I'd appreciate any perspectives on this. My first business is a web communications consultancy, and the second business is an individual coaching thing where I specialize in helping people find themselves, connect with potential new interests, escape from anxiety, etc. I hold certifications relevant to both businesses, and have clients in both as well, though far fewer in the newer one.

What's it like to live in Colorado Springs?

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:48:58 GMT

What is it like to live in Colorado Springs, CO?

I'm nearing the end of a long postgraduate training period and am contemplating a job opportunity in Colorado Springs. I have lots of outdoorsy interests and have always wanted to live out West. I've heard varying things about Springs - conservatism, big military presence and some run-down bits being specific areas of concern. Specific questions: how accessible is world-class outdoor stuff from town? I know it's closer to the moutains proper than Denver is. Thinking of hiking and biking opportunities in particular. How is the climate? I have lived in Boston and am not a huge fan of the "six months of cold and darkness" thing. I've visited and the downtown seemed pretty nice -- are there interesting things to do in town?

Many thanks for your thoughts, Mefites.

New Orleans & Mardi Gras - weekend before vs. two weekends before?

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:42:48 GMT

Very quick (& time sensitive) question: my 40th is February 23rd. The weekend before that is radically cheaper to fly & stay in New Orleans than the weekend after. Much of what we like is the parades & atmosphere on St. Charles. I see there are many parades on the 18th & 19th; is this a similar atmosphere to the weekend just prior to Mardi Gras, or is it muted/different?

I have 50 hotel & flight tabs open so any advice is greatly appreciated! I'm there for oysters, pig, and the parades; too old for Bourbon Street (and it doesn't really make me feel super safe for me and my wife) except crossing it to get to Felix's. Probably staying at the Wyndham on Iberville either way. Thanks in advance!

Top 5 romantic things to do in Stockholm and Prague

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:39:46 GMT

I'm supposed to write a listicle on romantic things to do in different cities, but Stockholm and Prague have me stumped. Does anyone have ideas of romantic things that are not "take a walk through the Old Town"?

I'm looking for things that aren't super obvious. So for instance the botanic gardens could be romantic (and steamy). And also eating special kinds of food could be, or climbing to the top of a bell tower or...base jumping together.
But really, if you've been there, I'd love your ideas on what a couple could do there to create special memories together!

Thank you!

What to do with really old software and stuff?

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:19:56 GMT

I have a ton of old classic Mac software and bits of hardware that I need to clear out of here. But, is tossing it into a landfill really the only way?

I have a semi-large collection of classic Mac apps and games that I need to get out of here. We're talking mostly OS 8 software (plus a few OS 7 things) including Adobe apps on floppies (with SN) and cool games (Zoombinis!) Most everything includes manuals, too.

Hardware includes a great Umax flatbed scanner (SCSI) and, possibly, a PowerComputing PowerCenter 100 (if I can figure how to ship the monitor.)

I was arranging a deal with a non MeFite who has a classic Mac collection, but she's dropped off the face of the earth and hasn't responded to nudges in ages, so I fear that option is dead. Sadly, there's no place around here that would take it all as a donation.

I'm simply looking for someone to spring for shipping for everything.

Anyone know of anyplace that takes this stuff? Or, is it all doomed to a landfill? :(

10 decades in the cult of Mac, how do we leave

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:18:35 GMT

After 10 years almost exclusively using Apple products we are thinking about moving back to a PC environment but are weighing up how to and if it is worth the drama.

Currently we use:
A 10 year old 24" iMac (hard drive already replaced once, optical drive doesn't work)
A 9 year old MacBook Pro that we use exclusively to run downloaded video files through our television (battery doesn't work, optical drive doesn't work)
A 7 year old MacBook for general browsing and some word processing (intermittently shuts down)
2 iPhone 4S
A 5 year old iPad
All of these 'have their moments' and frankly I think will all die/need replacing over the next 1-3 years.

The other main tech we use are kindles. We think that if we did this we would probably just completely switch over - computers and phones in one go. Our thought is that for our needs we would probably get two laptops and replacement phones, and some kind of device to relay files from a hard drive to the wide-screen TV we own (we live in Turkey so roku stick is not really an option and trying to run stuff through the Internet on our LG smart TV has proven to be ridiculously difficult). And I do love my iPad so maybe a tablet device if I found something as good.

We previously were seriously in to photography, and found the iMac to be good for that (and have the Adobe Creative suite) but now just want something that we can do a bit of photo editing, surf the Internet and organise all our multiple files. And to run movies and TV.

Our son desperately wants us to move to a PC environment for gaming - both for games available only on PC and the fact we can upgrade graphics cards (there are a lot of games he can't currently play because our graphics card is not good enough on the iMac). The other things the computer gets used for is homeschool, general internet browsing and a bit or word/excel/PDF stuff.

So - other than the hassle of transferring files from an OSX to PC environment, and the sunk cost on the ridiculous number of IOS apps we have bought, what else do I need to consider before I defect from the cult of Mac?

Trying to find a movie

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 17:51:20 GMT

I've been looking for a scary movie that I saw brief moments of when I was a kid. All I remember is this little catapult throwing ice and a barrier between the desert and what looked to be a little farm that had a family out having a picnic in the 1800's. I think it might have had Ethan hawk in it but I can't be sure . Long story short the barrier brakes and the protagonist runs through it and is instantly attracted this family who are really like vampires. Anyone know what movie that is ? I figured this would be a good page to find out .