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Preview: Woot! - One Day, One Deal



6-Piece Luxury Spa Wavy Quick-Dry Towel Set

Mon, 27 Feb 2017 06:00:28 Z


Just Add Water! (laugh track goes here)

Just Add Water is filmed before a live studio audience.

BATH TOWEL 1: Hey, what's going on in here, honey? What are you doing on the towel rack?

BATH TOWEL 2: Oh, just hanging around!

(laugh track goes here)

HAND TOWEL 1: Say, can you guys keep it down over there?

HAND TOWEL 2: Yeah, this is a shared rack! We're trying to get some sleep!

(oooo sound effect goes here)

BATH TOWEL 1: Hey! You might be our neighbors-

HAND TOWEL 2: I wake up every day hoping we won't be.

(laugh track goes here)

BATH TOWEL 1: -but that doesn't mean you can push us around on our own rack!


BATH TOWEL 2: Oh, dear. You've woken the twins.

(laugh track goes here)

HAND TOWEL 2: Look, I'm sorry about the twins.

BATH TOWEL 1: You should be. I wasn't born on this rack like you were. I started out in a crumple on the floor.

HAND TOWEL 2: Aw, we all had it hard. Last week they used me to clean the dog.

HAND TOWEL 1: That reminds me, you never told me how that was.


(laugh track goes here)

BATH TOWEL 1: All I'm saying is my family and I deserve a little respect.

HAND TOWEL 2: And all I'm saying is that my family and I deserve a little peace and quiet!

Bath Towel 1 and Hand Towel 2 glare, then soften, then laugh.

HAND TOWEL 1: What? What just happened?

BATH TOWEL 2: Yeah, are you two friends now?

BATH TOWEL 1: We sure are.

HAND TOWEL 2: Best friends!

BATH TOWEL 1: Because we figured something out.

HAND TOWEL 1: What's that?

BATH TOWEL 2: Yeah, tell us!

BATH TOWEL 1 and HAND TOWEL 2: We're cut from the same cloth!

(laugh track goes here)


(laugh track goes here)

(end credits and closing theme)

Music Monday: Music Madness Is Here

Mon, 27 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z

Happy Music Monday! For those who don't know, each year we do a special March Bracket Event on our site. This year Scott's been forced honored with the keys to the event. We call it MUSIC MADNESS and it's a challenge to find the best one-hit wonder! The rules are simple: it works just like that other bracket-based madness that happens in March. We've chosen four notable eras of music ('70s, '80s, '90s and '00s) and picked sixteen one-hit wonders for each era. Each Wednesday and Friday in March, you'll be able to vote via our Facebook page to help determine the winners! The song/artist combo didn't fit onto one page so we made a bracket full of initials for you to use. You can find out what they stand for on the master list right here. Use all that information to make your own brackets. You might just win a trophy! Seriously. We're gonna give away real trophies in three categories: "Most Right Answers" and "Least Right Answers" and a "Prettiest Hand-Made Bracket" as well. Get started on your brackets RIGHT NOW and put 'em in the comments of this post before the end of the week. We'll name our three trophy winners at the start of April when we reveal the one-hit wonder winner! Today, though, Scott's gonna get things revved up by previewing four great matchups to come (and one that could have been). Let's get ready to MAAAAAAAARCH 70s Bracket: King Harvest - Dancing In The Moonlight vs Pilot - Magic   In the '70s bracket, it's pretty much a race between what WAS on a Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack and what WILL BE on a Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack. Both these catchy songs are solid contenders for Vol. 2! But only one of them will move on in our Music Madness event. Which will you be voting for? You'll get your chance real soon! Remember: the voting starts on Wednesday, March 1st. Today's just a little preview of the whole event. But what an event, eh? More future matchups to come, after the jump! 80s Bracket: Larry Graham - One In A Million You vs Patti Austin & James Ingram - Baby, Come To Me   The 80s had a little of everything, from synthpop to smooth jazz to modern soul. These two monster hits fell into the latter category. Facing off, which do you think will break through to the second round? In the "big dance" of March Musicness anything can happen! 90s Bracket: DNA feat. Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner vs Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy   In the first corner: it's the voice to which the MP3 standard was designed! And in the second corner, it's possibly the best novelty song ever recorded! Who will go forward into the next round? We won't find out until the third round of voting, but oh boy, won't it be great when we get there! 00s Bracket: Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag vs Fountains Of Wayne - Stacy's Mom   The early 2000s was a great time to be a young high school student. And the hits of the period showed it! These two titans of young emotion square off to answer the question once and for all: which is more powerful? Will we see the dirtbag on top? Or will the suitor of Stacy's Mom move forward? NOT IN COMPETITION: Pseudo Echo - Funkytown vs Lipps Inc. - Funkytown   This last battle today is a Music Monday exclusive. Because when it comes to a decade on decade battle, there are just a few songs that won't make the cut! The battle of the Funkytowns won't be in our March Musicness event, sadly. But hey, that doesn't mean YOU can't still vote today. Go on, post in the forums and let us know which Funkytown is the BEST Funkytown! And then be back here on Wednesday as we begin MARCH MUSICNESS: BATTLE OF THE ONE-HIT WONDERS! Maybe you'll be the one who gets the trophy! Let us just remind you: some images come from the corresponding Wikipedia page and are here under fair use. See you next week. [...]


Mon, 27 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z

Capture all the important moments of your life with Wooticles! It's easy!

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Dyson - Your Choice

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 06:00:39 Z


Live and Let Dyson

On cleaning day, I like to don my favorite blood-colored (red) headband and strap my Dyson V6 Trigger Handheld Vacuum to my arm with electrical tape so I feel like an immaculate warrior protecting my collection of Spanish credenzas from common household dust. While I do battle, I also play the soundtrack to Titanic at full volume. Those emotional swells make me work harder as I fight through my tears to keep my domicile clean. Then when I'm done, I rip off the electrical tapeAAAARRRG OW OW OW NO IT'S COOL I FEEL FINE OH WOW OUCH OUCH

Mortimer and Monte's Weekend Adventures

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z



Fri, 24 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z


Prescription Strength Crapocillin

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z

Tired of all the crap? Ask your doctor about Crapocillin.

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Powermate 3250 Watt Portable Generator

Thu, 23 Feb 2017 06:00:27 Z


The perfect companion for all the introverts out there.

Introverted people aren't unfriendly. They just have a very limited amount of energy to expend on socializing. They don't mind having a good, short chat now and again, but it's mentally exhausting for them to do so for long periods at a time. To combat this, my introverted brother once told me, "Act crazy, and no one will bother you."

Now, the type of crazy you portray will depend on the level of introversion you manifest. If you are cripplingly introverted, by all means, dress in tights and a cape and pretend to fly around the streets of your town. If you're a more reasonable level of introverted, however, you can present a more ambiguously crazy persona to keep people guessing.

For example, be the guy who wheels a portable generator behind him everywhere he goes and for no apparent reason. This serves two purposes: 1. People will be too confused about why you're carting around a portable generator to be comfortable enough to talk to you and 2. On the off chance that some brave soul gets up the courage to ask you why you're wheeling around a portable generator, you can use it to power up the robot friend you've also been carrying around and have him answer any and all questions on your behalf.

I can say from personal experience, however, that once robot friend makes an appearance, people are far less likely to stick around and ask more questions.

There Can Be Only Pun: SpreeG-13

Thu, 23 Feb 2017 06:00:00 Z

Oh hey look we got a new banner ... Now that we've covered that very important news, on with the show. Things are starting to heat up here in the pun post. Just like last week, there was no Secret Pun guesser. We were looking for "George Aye-Aye Martin." That puts the pot at $15! Once again, we're going back to submissions from Punner's Choice II for our theme and, once again, we have daveinwarshington to thank for coming up with candy and movies. Examples: Twixster Harry Potter and the Deathly Mallos Gobstopper Everlasting   And now for our favorites from last week, Writer's Flock: Truman Coyote (dmw804) Dr. Gnuess (Coogles) Ernest Lemmingway (shrill)   Honorable Mentions: Salmon Rushdie (Coogles) Harper eeL (gpks1)   LOLZ: F. Scott Fitzgerbil (marlowepi)   The legal peeps tell us we need these Terms and Conditions. So there they are. [...]

Teeter EP-560 Ltd. Inversion Table

Wed, 22 Feb 2017 06:00:46 Z


Turns the world upside down. HEY WAIT A SECOND THAT COULD BE A TV SHOW

In some topsy-turvy world there are government conspiracies, a weird monster, and a bunch of young people trying to bring the scary things to an end. In our world, there are... well, okay, you've got us there. Point for you.

But all that notwithstanding, it's super easy to get onto an Inversion Table and rotate yourself into a new point of view, a new (dare we say it?) world. When upside-down, gravity will pull you in a different way and you'll feel new stretching feelings and maybe think new ideas. Could be you'll find yourself surrounded by weird slug-like creatures or could be you'll come up with a great recipe for waffles.

We just hope you wind up somewhere with a really cool soundtrack. If there's one thing we've learned, it's that ANYTHING is possible with the right soundtrack.