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To tell or Not



To tell or Not



 



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 14:25:05 GMT2007-08-04T14:25:05Z

tell becuase if they are really your best freind they'll be mad at first, of course, but your bond is so0o strong it wont change things. me and my best freind are like sisters shes done some things in the past that ive disagreed with and once something against me but i still love her



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 08:19:46 GMT2007-08-04T08:19:46Z

I suppose it kind of depends on the situation. My best friend and I have an awesome friendship, we're totally honest with eachother. If one of us does something that bothers the other, we let eachother know, we talk about it, it's great. Ya know, I love my best friend, I'm so happy to have her in my life, and we like to keep it that way. We share almost all our thoughts with eachother, but there are certain things... Right now she's having ex boyfriend trouble. They're on again off again kind of. She's always talking to me about it. I told her my opinion once, and now she knows, i don't have to say it again. There's been a lot going on in the relationship that she's asked me about. I'm not going to give her my opinion if she doesn't want it, ever, and sometimes I won't give it to her even if she does, because I believe there are certain things in life you have to learn yourself, certain things you can do yourself, but I'll always be there for her. If my boyfriend was cheating on me or something, I'd want her to tell me. I might not listen, but I'd want her to tell me and I'd still respect her for it lol That's because i'm stubborn and optimistic though, that's all me. But even me, at times I'm just thinking "I don't want your opinion, i need to do this myself, just be there for me" and she's totally like that too, it's great. I guess I'm kind of rambling. So my point is, while you should be totally honest with eachother and able to discuss everything, it's not always necessary to discuss certain things. But if you're truly best friends, you should be able to get through almost anything. They're almost equal to spouses in my opinion, but that could also change as one ages.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:15:55 GMT2007-08-04T05:15:55Z

If that person is truly your best friend, you should be able to discuss anything. I have recently had a discussion with my best friend that wasn't easy. It was really hard on both of us. I called her up on the phone as there was no way I could say it in person and an email just seemed to inpersonal. I asked her to have her husband take the kids out of the room. We needed to talk and I was going to make her cry. She got quiet, had her oldest take the babies out of the room to dad and said okay I am ready. I told her since there was no easy way to say it, that I am going to be blunt and just get it over with. I did. She asked for further information and I gave it to her. We were both upset over the discussion. I apologized for having to share with her what I did. She said it needed to be said and dealt with and she was glad I did it. We hung up. A few days later, we got together inperson and she shared with me the effects of our conversation and the changes she has made. They have been positive and she needed that kick in the rear. I still hate having to be the one to do it! I have also been on the receiving end of this discussion and no matter the pain the discussion causes ... it is still better to hear the truth than for it to be hidden from you. I want to know who I can trust and who I can't. Honesty is a trait to be admired regardless of the pain it costs. I want to know who to turn to when I need help. Who can I count on and won't just tell me what I need to hear. No one is perfect, we all have our faults. Strength comes from admiting our weaknesses.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 04:41:40 GMT2007-08-04T04:41:40Z

I don't hold anything back from them. If I've been told something that has to deal with them, I think they should know. Would you like it if your best friend held something back from you? The truth might hurt but I'd rather know than be unaware.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 03:44:03 GMT2007-08-04T03:44:03Z

If your best friend is really your best friend, then they would be able to take any kind of information you give them, even if it hurts. I have a best friend of 10 years and we are to the point where we can tell each other the truth about anything and if we hurt each other, we can be there for each other. So basically what i'm trying to say is if your friend gets hurt by what you have to tell them, you can always be there for them to coach them through the pain.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:38:27 GMT2007-08-04T01:38:27Z

I think it depends on what it is and i'm sure at the end you will know what to do...if it bothers you that much...tell.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:28:33 GMT2007-08-04T01:28:33Z

i'm the kind of person who is protective of my friends and their character. i watch over and care for them like a borther or sister. if i know something is up i am honest and tell them. if it is serious, i am going to make every step possible to make sure nothing happens. if there is an affair...it's a tricky subject but my friends know my integrity and honesty. and they give it back in turn, that is if they are real true friend. betrayal is not a friend.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:33:22 GMT2007-08-04T00:33:22Z

If he/she is my best friend, I would definitely tell, especially if I know that whatever it is can hurt him/her. I'd rather they get hurt from the information and only be hurt once than let them be hurt twice, the second time by me for not telling them. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship by withholding important things from them. Friendship lives on trust. Also, if it's something that can be fixed, it's better to let them know so they can prepare for it or plan on how to fix the problem. If I don't tell them, and the secret hits them in the face all of a sudden, it'll be harder for them to cope with it. I'd rather give them the heads up and be there to help just in case than leave them out to fend for themselves. That's what friends are for.



Re: To tell or Not

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:24:13 GMT2007-08-04T00:24:13Z

Always be honest. Lieing and keep secrets gets you nowhere. I personally would rather someone tell me the truth even if it hurts. I hate more than anything to be lied to or have something withheld from me and find out through someone else or some other way. It hurts more like that. So I would tell no matter what kind of fight it causes. If they can't understand you are being truthful and honest like a true friend then they weren't your true friend to begin with.



Re: To tell or Not

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 21:18:57 GMT2007-08-03T21:18:57Z

For me, if that thing that could hurt him could HELP him in another way,.,,I would tell it.... and of course in a good way... The wise admonition of a friend is a demonstration of love. A friend means well even when he rebukes you,but when an enemy puts an arm around you,wath out! =)