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Preview: Brigid Bishop on Life, Love and The Art of Living

Brigid Bishop on Life, Love and The Art of Living

Insights, Musings and Out Takes on Life by New Age Author Brigid Bishop


The Aquarius Personality Jan-28-2011

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 00:05:00 GMT

The Aquarius The Aquarian personality type is one that I know very, very well. Why? Because I am one. It manifests differently in the male and female, but several key characteristics are common to Aquarians of both sexes. They are independent, intellectual, intelligent, loyal, stubborn, gregarious, determined and at times, very absent-minded. Aquarians are truly the types that have many acquaintances but few close, intimate friends. When an Aquarian allows you to become intimately close with them through either friendship or romance, believe that you are very special to them. Aquarians live more in the mind than in the heart. Because Aquarians are of the element of air, they often have their head in the clouds, and what some may perceive as neglect or absence of interest is simply the Aquarian having a preoccupation with other thoughts at the time. Their absent-minded professor intellects also add to the frustrations of more emotional types. They honestly don’t believe that they are being inattentive to you when they get caught up in the daydreams and imaginations, they think that everyone’s mind wanders as theirs does and they feel the need for freedom more strongly than any other sign in the zodiac. The Aquarian female is usually and customarily a masculine energy regardless of how feminine her appearance or her outward bearings are. They are less emotional than any other female sign of the zodiac, they are the most analytic sign as well. If you are in love with an Aquarian female watch out when she taps into her emotions because they can be very overwhelming to her, positive or negative, as they are not something she can intellectually scrutinize and digest, she must “feel” them, and that is difficult for the Aquarian woman. If you want a successful relationship with an Aquarian lady then give her plenty of space and freedom, but keep in touch with her so that she doesn’t forget about you while she’s off chasing rainbows and unicorns. Support her thoughts and ideas (she’ll have plenty of them to share), and you are well on your way to winning her true heart and friendship for life. For an Aquarian male or female true love begins with being best friends. If you always remember to be a true friend to an Aquarian, you will always have a true friend, and if you are lucky enough to become their best friend, then you are the love of their life. FAMOUS AQUARIAN WOMEN Brigid Bishop, (lol), Jennifer Aniston, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Oprah Winfrey, Carmen Miranda, Angela Davis, Mia Farrow, Eartha Kit, Ida Lupino, Gertrude Stein, Natalie Cole, Kim Novak, Nastassja Kinski, Princess Caroline, Geena Davis, Jayne Seymour, Judy Blume, Alice Walker The Aquarian male does not require a lot of maintenance. Dating him can be quite an experience. Aquarians love change and sudden and impulsive “fun”! One night your Aquarian male may take you to the opera, and the next to a clam bake on the beach with his “hippie” friends. He will be just as comfortable in his tuxedo as he will barefoot and bohemian and hedonistic. Aquarian males need a lot of space. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for you, he just needs the time to investigate and explore on his own. When he finds places and people of true interest, he will be more than happy to introduce you to them, but he does need that independence to go out on his own. A clingy, needy woman will never win the heart of an Aquarian male. While he is out spelunking with friends don’t worry, try a little adventure of your own, it will make him become fascinated with you if you have your own adventures to share with him. The Aquarian male is not a master of romance, however, he knows how to figure out what makes you tick, and if he likes the rhythm of your internal mechanisms, he will apply his brilliant intellect to surprising you with just the right types of dates and gifts and mementos to make you wonder if he’s for real. The down side of the Aquarian persona is that they are the type to get so wrapped up in projects, careers or hobbies that they do appear to[...]

Around The Wheel With Aquarius

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 23:01:00 GMT

Around The Wheel with Aquarius (Compatibility Profiles) by Brigid Bishop Here are some basic “Rules of Thumb” for Aquarian Compatibility Profiles. Of course, these are based on Sun Sign only, in order to truly plot compatibility it is best to have a professional compatibility profile done between the two charts, but this is a general description of the core energies to be expected. Aquarius Male and Aries Female This is a fairly good mix. The Aquarian Male will enjoy the fire and spunk of the Aries Female. Her independent streak and regal bearing will attract and fascinate him. She will be his intellectual equal and quite possibly his physical superior, being more active and on the go than the Aquarian Man of ideas and ideals. The trigger points usually stem from the Arian need to be more self centered and the Aquarian need to see the benefit to the larger picture. Aquarius Female and Aries Male This mix can be a bit more difficult than it’s reverse as the Aquarian Female will have a strong masculine energy which can cause the Arian Male to repel away a bit. She likes his strength and generosity, but his tendency toward self-centeredness will be hard for her to understand. He likes her detachment, it challenges him, but at the same time he longs to be the center of her universe, which she can never quite make happen, her universe is too multi-layered to have just one center. Aquarius Male and Taurus Female Both signs are “Fixed”, as in “unmovable”. The sensuality of the Taurean Female will draw the Aquarian male, but her need for earthbound pleasures and belongings will not match well with his idealism and daydreaming. She will appear to him as materialistic and he will appear to her as “flighty”. Sexual chemistry may be very strong, but without other positive aspects in the charts, the pairing is difficult at best. Aquarius Female and Taurus Male His “bull in the china shop” approach to life will be appealing to her at first, as it is so different from her own delicate and airy approach, it makes her feel more feminine to be around him, but when her independent side rears it’s pretty head, sparks can fly. The sexual chemistry here may be strong, but long term compatibility may be difficult without softer, more positive aspects within the charts. Both are fixed signs and need to be in control. Aquarius Male and Gemini Female A good pairing! Their high intellects are finely matched, they communicate together very well. The Aquarian Male’s philosophical approach to life matches well with the Gemini Female’s need to analyze life from polar opposite angles. Discussions between these two can lead to many late night conjuring and projections that will keep both engaged and interested in each other. Aquarius Female and Gemini Male A positive match but the danger here is that there may be a little too much air swirling around between them, living in the realm of ideas and thoughts, rather than putting their words into action. As they are both idea people, unless one of the personalities brings some fire (for action) and water (for emotion) into the mix, they may just drift endlessly in their own little fantasy world. Aquarius Male and Cancer Female This is a difficult match without other positive aspects in the two charts, the Aquarian Male is all air and the Cancer Female is the most watery sign of the zodiac. When you mix air and water you get a kind of “mist” dampening the positive energy between the two, which is why more elemental factors like fire are needed to turn the mist into steam. The Cancer Female is very emotional. The Aquarian Male is not. They will have a difficult time understanding each other. The independent Aquarian man will not like having the Cancer Crab’s claws locked into him. He will feel like she is trying to pull him under the surface of the ocean and will struggle to break free. The Cancer woman will lose the claw before she lets go. Aquarius Female and Cancer Male A better mix than the reverse genders, the biologi[...]

Brigid Bishop’s Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Guide to the Zodiac

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 23:00:00 GMT

Brigid Bishop’s Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Guide to the Zodiac   When we give gifts, we usually try to present the recipient with a present that we, ourselves, would appreciate.  The key to being a great “presenter” is to give a gift that will appeal to the recipients’ personality and psychological expectations and pleasure centers. When giving a gift to a lover this Valentine’s Day, if you know what sign their Venus resides in, you should try to provide a gift relative to that sign.  If you only know your love’s Sun Sign, then use that for a guide. Aries New and shiny and sparkly, reflective, items that look new and reflect back to them!  Glass, diamonds, mirrors, etc. are materials that appeal to them.  Items that are personalized are very pleasant to them.  Red, black and white are their preferred color schemes.  Metallic wrapping paper is always a good idea. Taurus High quality is more important here than quantity.  Textures are very important, clothing must feel good against their skin, soft and silky, pleasing to touch.  Tickets to a show are not a good idea as Taureans would rather have an item they can hold onto than an experience to remember, but a gourmet meal at the finest restaurant in the city will work wonders.  Flowers make them cry and will be pressed in a special book and saved forever.  Colors are pastels and blue. Gemini Wrapping won’t matter here, it may not even be noticed!  Greens and yellows are there favorite colors and since the entire world around them fascinates them, you can go in just about any gift direction you choose!  A collection of little assorted and varied gifts is always a hit, the grab bag effect extends their pleasure.  Joke gifts are well received by this sign.  Books, books and more books, movies are a popular choice too!  Or, the book AND the movie too! Cancer Sentimentality at its’ most profound here.  Flowery wrapping paper, mushy cards that expound the depths of your feelings for them will be treasured forever.  Soft gifts (to the touch) are very pleasing.  A comfy, cozy blanket or shirt, warm socks or booties, something that says it will take care of them works wonders.  A gift that contains sentimental value to YOU will have them choking up instantaneously, like your favorite childhood stuffed animal.  Cancer colors are earth tones. Leo Do it big!  Even if a tiny present, put it in a big box with a giant bow!  They love to be the center of attention so send that singing telegram or the room full of balloons to their office.  Make sure it arrives when everyone is around to see how loved they are!  Flaming red, blazing orange and dead black are colors that will appeal to them. Virgo Think practical.  This is what they will appreciate more than anything.  Something that is useful in everyday life will tickle their fancy quite nicely.  Make it natural, all natural fibers in their clothing, hand woven baskets or gifts from the health food store.  Colors are brown, cream, wheat and khaki, humble says it best. Libra Cards, cards, cards, many of them to tell them how many different ways you love them!  Romance!!!  Flowers and jewelry are their favorites.  Scented candles, poems, romance, romance, romance!  Pastels, pinks, mauves, blues, reds are their colors. Scorpio Sexy.  Colors are black and blue.  The negligee’, the male version of said negligee’, a favorite perfume or aftershave will appeal.  Decadent.  Chocolate.  Think sensual. Sagittarius Anything about horses, the book "How to Live Like a Horse" would be an excellent choice here.  Anything fun!  A fun time, tickets to the circus, lottery tickets, sporting equipment, items to use when traveling, baggy sweaters, take them to a fun party.  Colors are purple, royal blue and white. Capricorn No matter what it is, make sure it is the BEST of it’s li[...]

When You Fall In Love With a Married Man

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 00:08:00 GMT

When You Fall In Love With a Married ManIt isn't ever planned or well thought out, but women can and do fall in love with married men on a fairly regular basis. It is by no means an easy situation, and like it or not, someone is going to get hurt, that's just par for the course.Do women go out with the intent to find themselves a married person to fall in love with? Of course not. Attraction, destiny, soul mate connections, current life circumstances, physical attraction, discontent with current relationship, they are all ingredients in the recipe for an affair.Being the other woman requires you to take a step back and take a cold, hard, analytical look at the realities of your situation. There will be serious limitations and you should consider them thoroughly before embarking on an affair or continuing your affair with a married man.It is entirely possible that someday he may leave his wife, however, you live in the present, not the future, and you have no guarantees that his marriage will end.What you can expect when engaged in this type of relationships are a lot of spontaneous changes in your ability to see each other. Expect last minute rendezvous at the drop of a hat, but also expect that even your best laid plans are subject to last minute cancellations.Expect to be spending all major holidays alone. He will be in the company of his family, which does include his wife and not with you. Unless you are well socialized, you can expect to be very lonely during these times.You will need to keep your relationship discreet. You will be unable to share details of your relationship with friends and family as you would in a normal relationship. This can begin to have an isolating effect on you. You will never get to know his parents, his siblings, his children or his circle of friends unless he gets a divorce in the future, which again, is not where you are now. That part of his life will be compartmentalized away from you, where it is entirely possible that he is fully integrated into your life, creating a major imbalance.You will truly be living in the shadow of his life.The married male who is seeking companionship outside of his primary relationship, (his marriage), may be a male who has absolutely no intention of divorcing his wife. It is possible that he does project himself into a divorce, however, he may have reasons that lead him to believe that the timing of a divorce is just not right for him at present.The question you must ask yourself is, what kind of a relationship to you really want?Has he ever stated to you that he is getting divorced? How much time are you willing to invest in waiting to see if he will end his marriage and move forward into a relationship with you? You need to be realistic, these situations can and do drag on for years. Set a time limit in your mind as to how long you are willing to wait on the sidelines keeping your own life on hold and stick to it.Do you want a relationship that you don't have to hide? Do you want to be able to go out in public together without fear of discovery? Do you want to be able to introduce your partner to your friends and family and spend holidays and special occasions together? If these are things necessary to your happiness, you must take them into account when deciding whether to continue your affair or not.Are you realistic in your expectations of how his current wife and any children he may have would react were your affair to be discovered? It is highly likely to be very unpleasant.If you feel that you just cannot let go of your married partner and are willing to suffer through this uncomfortable situation, there are ways for you to cope.Try to regain some balance in this totally unbalanced situation. Don't be ready to see him each and every time he can slip away because he suddenly is available unexpectedly. Although you may be tempted to take advantage of sharing that special, limited time with him, you will not allow this to occur as it shows him that[...]

Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 23:46:00 GMT

Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop Searching for your soul mate?  Have a romanticized vision in your head of what it will be like?  Living happily ever after and never having a harsh word pass between you?  Is this what you have come to believe your soul mate is all about? WRONG! Soul mate relationships, although the most SIGNIFICANT relationships in our lives, are also the most DIFFICULT, or CHALLENGING, or CONTAIN THE MOST OBSTACLES! People look at me like I am nuts when I say this as they have been led to believe by modern marketing practices that soul mate relationships are an instant connection with the fairy tale ending guaranteed, oh lord, do we need to talk about this! First of all, there is a common misconception that people have that each soul here on earth has but one soul mate.  That is not true.  We have multiple soul mates.  Each soul mate that we encounter is here with us because we have created a specific kind of karma with that soul.  Dependent upon the karma created......we teach each others lessons relevant to that karma. There are also different types of soul mates.  Some soul mates are considered "twin flames".  Twin flames are typically souls that are on a very similar karmic path and we encounter them during certain growth stages of our lives, we support them, they support us.  They are typically friends, family members, or sometimes even casual acquaintances that we feel that instant chemistry with.  They are not here so much to teach us a soul lesson as to support us while we learn it.  They can manifest as children and parents, etc. etc. There are also "twin souls".  Twin souls tend to have extremely similar life paths to ours and we tend to cultivate these relationships quite easily, the twin soul is probably the type of soul mate that the average person imagines when they reference the term.  The compatibility quotient is high, interests similar, experiences similar, etc., they typically are not the type of soul mate that passionate relationships arise out of. Then we have the pure essence soul mates.  These are the soul mates that have been romanticized in literature etc., however, the relationships with these soul mates are NEVER easy, smooth or effortless, they can be quite painful in fact, but if we work out the lessons karmically imprinted on our souls together, we achieve the reward of being able to be happy together. The best example of a soul mate relationship portrayed in modern media that I can think of right now is the movie "What Dreams May Come".  If you have never seen it, please rent it and pay close attention.  Robin Williams plays the male lead and I can never remember the woman's name, but this is a soul mate relationship.  In this story the man and woman meet and are very happy and productive, soul mates, but then, the soul lessons begin.   WARNING:  THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF THE MOVIE, A "SPOILER" TO DEMONSTRATE A SOULMATE RELATIONSHIP, DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SPOIL THE MOVIE FOR YOURSELF!!   I warned you!  This is the spoiler.  Robin Williams and his wife are happily married with children and very successful and productive.  Everything you could imagine a soul mate relationship being based on popular belief (fairy tale life), and day......their nanny takes the children in the car and there is a terrible accident.  Yes, the children die.  It's horrid. The wife falls apart and so does the husband, but the husband is capable of healing and begins to do so, the wife continues to fall apart as does the marriage, the wife even becomes suicidal, but their soul mate connection allows the husband to somehow pull her back into the living of life......just as they are about to celebrate reconciling their marriage and her recovery from attempted suicide, HE gets killed!!!! It's so sad!!!!  He dies and the st[...]

The Dating Game: Are You a Masculine or Feminine Energy Female?

Tue, 19 Dec 2017 22:09:00 GMT

The Dating Game: Are You a Masculine or Feminine Energy Female? Explore Your Natural Tendencies. Ok, this one is for the girls, women, divas, ladies out there.........especially those who are experiencing "Relationship Issues" and looking for some insight into what is causing these issues to arise.  This should prove useful to the men among our readership as well, as the male can be either a masculine or feminine Primary Energy as well, so I guess this is for just about anyone examining their relationship! In all relationships there needs to be balance.  In all relationships there are multiple energies flowing.  One of the core energies in any romantic relationship is the anima/animus, the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine energies. How do you know which energy is your Primary Energy? First, let us examine what you want and expect from a relationship. Do you want to feel a sense of  your partner being on your side, a sense of inclusiveness, a sense of protection, a sense of your feelings being recognized and validated?  Do you want to express yourself in terms of how you feel?  Is it important to you that your feelings are being considered?  Do you tend to look at things in terms of what you "Don't Want" instead of what you "Want". This is a very simplistic boil down to a feminine energy being. If, on the other hand you wish primarily for your partner to respect you, leave everything up to you, if you wish to have control over your relationship, the pace it grows at, the things that you do as a couple, the social circle you frequent, and more than anything you want your partner to look at you as a competent individual and you feel it is of primary importance that your partner respects your thoughts on any given subject and trusts you to make the right choices and you look at life in terms of what you "Want" rather than what you "Don't Want", then your primary energy is that of a male energy being. Everyone is a mixture of both. Which are you letting show to your partner or your current interest? At the beginning of any relationship you are defining your primary energy and you are setting the tone for the life of the relationship. If you are a Feminine Female then you want your partner to consider your feelings, so you must express yourself in terms of "I feel" and "I don't want....".  The feminine energy, like the Suit of Cups in Tarot is Passive and Receptive which means, if you want your feelings validated and considered you need to take a passive and receptive approach to your relationship.  Being a Feminine Female makes a Masculine Energy Male the correct "type" for you.  This is the man who wants to be respected and trusted and wants you to think him capable and competent. For instance, if it is the beginning of getting to know a guy and he fails to call you within what you think is a comfortable amount of time you DO NOT pick up the phone and call or text him (or email him).  You wait it out.  It is uncomfortable, but that is what you do.  When the gentleman does call, your proper response as the feminine energy is something like this, "Oh, hi, I was feeling kind of disappointed when you didn't call me, I don't want to be assuming we connected if we didn't.  I'm glad to hear from you.  What's up?"  Your role in assuming your feminine energy role is to simply and passively reject or accept his behaviour.  Nothing more, nothing less.  By expressing how you feel you are putting your femininity out there for him to nurture. This notifies the male that your feelings are important to you and his behaviour caused you to feel a little insecure, and a masculine energy male will "step up" and validate those feelings for you, without you doing a thing more.  He now knows what you don't want, and will try his best not to disappoint you again in order to gain your trust. Now, if you are a Ma[...]


Mon, 18 Dec 2017 22:02:00 GMT

Tired of searching through listing after listing?  Want to know who the best readers call when they need insight?  Search no more!!!

Click Here to find a Professional Reader to Suit Your Every Need.  Readers for Every Budget!

These are the readers I call when I have situations I seek advice on!  They truly are the BEST on KEEN!

The Dating Game: Are You a Masculine or Feminine Energy Female? Explore Your Natural Tendencies.

Tue, 05 Dec 2017 22:23:00 GMT

Ok, this one is for the girls, women, divas, ladies out there.........especially those who are experiencing "Relationship Issues" and looking for some insight into what is causing these issues to arise.  This should prove useful to the men among our readership as well, as the male can be either a masculine or feminine Primary Energy as well, so I guess this is for just about anyone examining their relationship!

In all relationships there needs to be balance.  In all relationships there are multiple energies flowing.  One of the core energies in any romantic relationship is the anima/animus, the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine energies.

How do you know which energy is your Primary Energy?

First, let us examine what you want and expect from a relationship.

Do you want to feel a sense of  your partner being on your side, a sense of inclusiveness, a sense of protection, a sense of your feelings being recognized and validated?

In order to prevent copyright infringement, this blog has been condensed to an excerpt as it currently appears in Brigid's book "The Dating Game, Insights Into Affairs of The Heart" releasing in April 2010 and available at Amazon and fine book sellers everywhere.  Ask for it by name!

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

Revision One © July 2009

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author. You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact Brigid Bishop via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part.

For further insight, Read "See Dick Run"


Brigid Bishop's Little Book of Magick Spells Released Today!

Wed, 23 Aug 2017 21:54:00 GMT

I compiled 13 effective spells for the 21st Century to encourage communication, draw love, bind negativity and more!  I have released them in a little book effective today.  If you are interested in performing spellwork, these rituals will come in quite handy. Includes instructions for working with the phases of the Moon.  Available at fine booksellers everywhere.  Releasing on Kindle as well!

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now? Feb-19-2016

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 23:57:00 GMT

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?


Many clients call and have concerns because their relationships are not “perfect”, and some may be striving for the “next level” and frustrated with what they perceive as a lack of progress. 

Perhaps they have been dating the same gentleman for 2 years and he has not yet proposed, or perhaps they are living together and he has not yet asked for marriage, or perhaps they are casually dating and he has not yet asked to be “exclusive” or defined the relationship at a level they are satisfied with, i.e. significant other.

Well, let me start by telling you that as an Advisor here on, it would be totally unethical and unprofessional for me to tell you WHAT to do.  The best counsel I can offer you is what you can expect given your current path and what changes you would need to make if you are dissatisfied with the outcome.  The rest is up to you, your free will will define the course as you move forward.  If you like the outcome, of course, you are going to stay on that same path working toward that goal.  If you do not like the outcome, we can look at what (if anything) you can do to change that particular outcome……and work from there.

One of the primary reasons that progress slows in relationships prior to establishing the “next level” of commitment, no matter what step of the relationship ladder you are on, is the imbalance of masculine and feminine energies within a pairing.  Please read my blogs on the subject matter for further information.  Click here for some insight into the masculine and feminine energie of your situation:  Are You a Masculine or Feminine Energy Person?

In order to prevent copyright infringement, this blog has been condensed to an excerpt as it currently appears in Brigid's book "The Dating Game, Insights Into Affairs of The Heart" releasing in April 2010 and available at Amazon and fine book sellers everywhere.  Ask for it by name!


Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 


Visit Brigid Bishop


What Subject Matter Would YOU Like to See Me Blog About?

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 08:46:00 GMT

I've just returned to Keen full-time after nearly a three year absence.  I had to leave for a while after my son, Zachary, was murdered.  I am glad that I am finally able to be back, and I thank all my loyal clients for calling and chatting with me.  And I also thank all of the NEW clients who have contacted me recently, you are all wonderful people!

I would like to know what you are interested in seeing me write about.  I've been re-posting excerpts from my book "The Dating Game".  Would you like to have me write more about Tarot?  I can post excerpts from my book "Uncloaking the Tarot".

I am here to service clients of Keen and would like your feedback on what you would like to see me blog about.  Please comment with suggestions of topics, and I will do my best to accommodate the wants and needs of my audience.

Brightest Blessings!

Brigid Bishop

When Will He Say "He Loves You"?

Wed, 02 Aug 2017 21:34:00 GMT

A perfectly valid question to ask a Relationship Coach.  A frequent question that a Professional Tarot Reader hears.  When will he say he loves you? This is a very valid question to ask if you are within the scope of the first three to six months of a relationship.  Many people are wise enough to take the time to wait and see how their relationships develop before blurting out those three big words.  In fact, if someone blurts them out any sooner than that, it may well be in just a spur of the moment fashion, pertaining more to infatuation or the intensity and passion of a new love affair, rather than a true verbalization of emotion. It also depends upon your level of emotional maturity.  Of course, if you are a teenager, three to six months can be an eternity as few relationships at that age have any real longevity, but if you are a mature adult and you really are concerned with your partner telling you he loves you, take this factors into consideration. 1) The length of your relationship.  As stated, the length of your relationship is the first point to consider.  If it is less than three months old, are you sure that you are feeling love yourself or is it the blush of a new affair?  Take your time and slow down.  Don’t worry if he loves you, focus on how you feel about him! 2)  If you have been involved for more than a three month period consider whether your partner is attentive and consistent. If you can count on your partner to be consistent in communication with you, if you are dating on a steady basis, meeting each other’s friends and families and generally sharing your lives with each other, you may be at the point when this love will be expressed.  It is likely to happen during this time frame for most couples who continue to develop to a deeper level of commitment. If your partner, on the other hand, is sporadic or inconsistent with you, if you find yourself being in an “on and off” state, or if you just see each other every once in a while it is not likely that you are going to hear those words any time soon. 3)  If you have been seeing each other for more than six months and he hasn’t said it yet…. If he is consistent and attentive, he should definitely be expressing this sentiment by the nine month point.  If not, you may be in a dead-end relationship.  How can you tell? He is sporadic with time and communication.  You can’t count on him to know that you will be spending time together, you are always worried whether or not he’s going to call to make plans with you.  He is socializing regularly without you, with other friends, or may still be dating other people openly (or discreetly). If this is the case after a nine month acquaintance, this is just a casual dating situation and if you are looking for “true love”, you aren’t going to find it here! 4)  If you have been dating for longer than nine months and he still hasn’t said it….. Then he may have a warm and affectionate feeling for you, but the man doesn’t love you.  If you have to ask someone else, when someone you’ve been dating for nearly a year or LONGER is going to verbalize love for you, he isn’t going to say it.  He may hold you in high regard, he may care for you, he may have plenty of affectionate feelings for you, but does he “love” you?  No. If a man cannot tell you that he loves you by the end of the first year of dating or beyond, then he is not viewing you as a life partner, he is viewing you as a pal.  Someone to take out, be physical with, enjoy spending time with, a companion, but not a life partner that he loves and wants to commit to. Odds are if you are dating [...]

What Men Want in Short and Long-Term Partners per Evolutionary Psychology

Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:34:00 GMT

Wondering if the gentleman that you are interested in developing a relationship with is sincere about wanting to get to know you?  Is he just interested in you in a "casual" way?  There are several key indicators of what a man's intentions are toward you that are easy enough to spot.Understanding the short-term and long-term relationship strategies that men implement is an easy way to know whether your new interest is "worth the wait".  Applying this knowledge to your personal relationships is not a difficult task, it just takes a little critical thinking.First of all, you have to understand what attracts men.  Looks.  Yes, men are shallow beings.  Attractiveness is measured psychologically by a person's symmetry.  If you are a pleasant looking individual, who has a face that is well-balanced, clear skin, and a decent appearance to your hair, you are probably considered reasonably attractive.  Body shape needs to lend itself to a "fertile" appearance.  A well-defined waist line, not anorexic, but a slimmer waist, with hips a bit broader, and a defined bosom are considered signs of fertility.  Well proportioned, balanced, symmetry again.If a man is interested in a long-term relationship, he will pursue a woman who has symmetry, appears "fertile" (even if beyond child-bearing years), and has a relatively healthy appearance.  If a man is only looking for short-term connection (casual sex), he will not really put a high value on the female's appearance, as he does not value her as a potential permanent partner.  So check out the quantity and quality of his short-term partners if you can.Age does matter.  Men are drawn to fertility (yes, even if you are beyond child-bearing years).  Rarely does a younger male seek the companionship of a significantly older female.  Generally males pursue females who are an average of 3 to 5 years younger than themselves for long-term relationship formation, although this is the average, the older a male becomes, the larger the age gap.  If you are older than him, the odds that he is looking to you to form a long-term relationship go down, exponentially with each year that you are elder to him.  If you are 5 or more years older than him, unless you are extremely wealthy, or have some other type of material security to offer him, he is just looking for a casual, short-term experience with you.Cougars are a myth.  They exist only in Hollywood and on TV shows, and remember, a real cougar is only using the younger man for HER pleasure, not building a "relationship".  So be realistic.  You may have a fun time with "Mr. I am 8 Years Older than Him", but that's all it is likely to become, don't expect a lot.  There are exceptions to every rule, but you would save yourself a lot of heartache if you learned to realize these relationships seldom develop and behave accordingly.So, men are looking for symmetry, youth, and fertility for long-term relationship building.  What are they looking for in the short-term?  Anything goes.  In the short-term, men are unconcerned with symmetry, they may only be with you one time.  They have no concern about your age, you can be a suitable sexual partner regardless of being his senior, and perhaps an enjoyable one at that, until he finds someone he has a more committed interest in.  Body shape?  Short-term, men are usually unconcerned with whether you are too thin, too heavy, or perfectly symmetrical, they have no intention of sticking around once they have had enough pleasure from you.A key indicator is also how your appearance matches up to his.  Tens attract tens, nines attract nines, and fives attract fiv[...]

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

Wed, 26 Jul 2017 22:26:00 GMT

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence Where are you at with your relationship style? Independence? In “Deep End”-ness Co “Deep End”-ness Inter “Deep End”-ness Picture the realm of relationships as a big swimming pool. You are in the deep end of the pool. If you are in “independent” mode, you are swimming around all by yourself, doing fine, getting out and diving in off the high dive, unaffected by the other swimmers around you. You are an individual and you are not connecting with others at this time, you are focused on yourself and yourself alone. You may take an occasional date with another swimmer, but you prefer to swim alone most of the time. If you are in “codependent” mode, well, you won’t go in the water alone. Someone must always be with you. A lifeguard must always be around. When you dive in you immediately swim over to another swimmer and begin to cling on to them, they frequently push you away. You may feel like you are drowning and no one is helping you. The more you try to cling to another swimmer, the more you are pushed away and you thrash around and swallow water and end up hanging on to the side of the pool coughing and crying. It’s not much fun in the pool for you, but you keep trying. If you are in “interdependent” mode, you have a great time at the relationship pool. You have one special partner that you swim with on a regular basis. You may synchronize your swim into a beautiful dance in the waters of relationship, when you go to the diving board to try a new move, your partner is there in the water below waiting and watching to be sure you are safe, spotting you while you dive, and you do the same for them. When your swim time is over, you are both comfortable going your separate ways as you know that you will meet back at the pool again soon for another dip, and you feel secure about the other person. I am a firm believer in interdependence. Independence is fine, it is healthy, but in relationships we have to know how to let people in. Independence can become lonely if we refuse to join in the fun going on in the relationship pool, but there are times when we want to be alone, perhaps we are healing over a bad breakup or just not ready because we have other priorities right now, raising children or career, etc., but don’t swim alone for so long that you forget how to connect. Codependence is a horrible, anxiety ridden state to exist in. We feel like we are nothing unless we can define ourselves by our relationships, behaviors while in codependent mode can escalate to cyber stalking, and worse, physical stalking. We want others in our lives so bad that we drive them away because we don’t have the self-discipline to let our relationships develop naturally. We tend to go through relationships faster and in higher numbers than most. They all seem to start off promising enough, but within a month or two we are back on the side of the pool crying and coughing. If you are in codependent mode, it may be wise for you to try the independent mode for several months to readjust your relationship goggles and your approach to relationships in general. Once we have mastered independence, we have a much higher success rate at moving on to interdependence. Ah, interdependence, to me, it is the way all healthy relationships should operate. You and your loved one are secure in knowing that you are there for each other, you are capable of being together, happily, and also of pursuing other interests and friendships without fear or insecurity. There is no need to check up on each other or doubt anything because you have established trust, respect and love. To gain interdependence you and you[...]

The Dating Game

Mon, 24 Jul 2017 19:31:00 GMT

I get this over and over and over again in my professional practice. Women, who are otherwise intelligent and logical beings become irrational and unrealistic and anxiety ridden when the object of their affections becomes ambivalent, or worse, uninterested.I am not talking about those in "long term" relationships. I am talking about those who are truly single and dating who don't want to give a relationship time to grow or develop naturally, or don't allow the male to take the "reins" so to speak, of the masculine energy role (the initiator) and jump the gun in oh so many ways. The advice that I give over and over and over again, which VERY few follow, is to remove their energy and attention AWAY from the gentleman who is behaving in a distant manner. This means, don't call him up, don't text him, don't stalk him online, don't invite him out..........the female (at the dating stage) must allow the male the time and the "room" to decide whether or not he wants to take this further, which is not on the same schedule as the female. Females tend to decide very quickly that they want to be involved. They may have just flirted with a gentleman and they will call me and ask "is this the guy that I am going to marry". Although the cards will show if there is a POTENTIAL for a long term relationship, if you have just met a guy this weekend and he hasn't even asked you out yet, this question is based on suppositions galore and it is not likely that you will get a very accurate answer. Tarot Readings are not set in stone. They will tell you what is LIKELY to happen if you remain on the same path, continue with the same types of actions, into the future. Any changes in YOUR behavior change the outcomes of the situation...Tarot Readings are a living, breathing, metaphysical wonder and change as your actions change. A more apropos question at the first stages of infatuation would be "will he ask me out" and then after a date or so "will we develop a relationship" perhaps after 6-9 months of exclusive dating...."will he consider marrying me".......the questions have to be realistic in comparison to the situation in order to have any sense of accuracy. If you want to be the "feminine" energy in a relationship with a "masculine" male, as archaic as it may sound, you must allow him to set the pace. If it is not in your nature to allow this, then you may be a "masculine" energy female, or if you are truly "feminine" energy, you need to discipline yourself to your natural energy.All modern women must maintain a masculine energy at work, and our "go get it if you want it" attitude will serve us well in our careers, but NOT in our relationships (unless he is a feminine energy male), but this post is about the majority....we shall discuss the opposing roles later. Ok, so he is a masculine energy male. He wants to be TRUSTED. He wants you to think he is COMPETENT. So why would you pick up the phone and call him and ask him out for the weekend??? It makes him feel like you are taking the lead and that you do not feel he is man enough, or responsible enough to be able to ask YOU out. He may say yes, but you are setting a playing field where you will ultimately lose! Your role, as the feminine energy, is to ACCEPT or REJECT whatever this man presents to you. If he does not call you within a comfortable amount of time, it doesn't mean you call him and take the lead, it means you REJECT his negligence and busy yourself with friends or on other dates with males who respect you enough to follow up with you.If a male tells you he would rather "be friends", it does not mean that he really down deep wants to be your lover but is afraid of commitment, or was h[...]