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Margaret and Helen



Best Friends for Sixty Years and Counting...



Last Build Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2018 03:48:07 +0000

 



How hard would one have to pull to get Trump’s head out of Wayne LaPierre’s ass? #NeverAgain #NRABoycottmargaretandhelen

Sun, 25 Feb 2018 16:54:06 +0000

From Helen: Margaret, I’ve really started to enjoy this whole Twitter thing. It’s short and sweet. And you know me honey, I’m nothing if I’m not fat and mean. No wait… Anyway, I was looking around at all the different tweets and I came across one about Ann Coulter. My old nemesis has been pretty irrelevant for years, […]


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I’m not sure what a Russian Bot is, but I hear it looks like an orange asshole with a bad comb overmargaretandhelen

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 05:50:31 +0000

From Helen: Margaret, I’m mad as hell and I have a few things I need to get off my chest. First, and most important, how the hell do Russians dope in Curling? Do you down a fistful of Xanax before you gently push the stone across the ice? And speaking of Russians, there is something […]


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The scariest thing about Halloween was the Jack O’ Lantern in the Oval Office or maybe it was the White Sheets. #DumpTrumpmargaretandhelenhelen-mug1margaret-mug1

Wed, 01 Nov 2017 12:31:52 +0000

 FROM HELEN: Margaret, what the hell is happening? Nazi’s are fine people. Russia poked me on Facebook. The Real Housewives of Trump Tower are fighting over who’s the real First Lady. And now the Civil War wasn’t about slavery. Has everyone gone insane? We had an opportunity to have an honest conversation about racism and […]


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You know what’s really dispectful to the American flag?  A Confederate flag. #TakeAKneemargaretandhelen

Mon, 25 Sep 2017 17:00:24 +0000

Margaret, last week six football players knelt during the national anthem.  This week it was 200.  And just like Colin Kaepernick, they weren’t making a statement about the flag.  I swear this president is so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass if both hands were in his back pockets.  Lord help me, but I’ve taken […]


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FEMA Director scores big in prime time and Trump sells asshats for $40. In other news, Obama wasn’t president during Katrina. #Harvey margaretandhelen

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 12:20:04 +0000

From Helen: Margaret, that man is so stupid if he threw himself on the ground he would miss. And in that ridiculous hat he looks like something the dog is hiding under the porch. Honestly honey, I just don’t like him. He makes my ass itch every time he opens his mouth.  At the same […]


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If Only The Trump Presidency Could Be Counted In Dog Years. My Apology To Dogs. #ImpeachNowmargaretandhelen

Tue, 29 Aug 2017 12:00:10 +0000

From Helen: Margaret, I used to assume that the majority of racists were probably Republican, but now I am beginning to wonder if the majority of Republicans are actually racists. How else do you explain a party still standing behind this Make America Great Again Asshat of a President?  And while I know that I […]


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On one side there were Nazis and on the other side there were no Nazis and Trump still came down on the wrong side. #charlottesvillemargaretandhelenhelen-mug1margaret-mug1

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 20:37:57 +0000

  From Helen: Margaret,  several people have asked me why I haven’t been writing. The truth is, honey, this isn’t funny anymore.  Our President… scratch that…  the moron currently occupying the White House just equated George Washington to Robert E. Lee.  He can’t understand why a memorial to the symbolic founding father of our country […]


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If only jokes about assaulting women were reason enough to lose elections…margaretandhelen

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 12:30:23 +0000

  FROM HELEN: Margaret, I am sorry I haven’t written more, but honestly, honey, I am just too tired.  Sadly, it has nothing to do with my age and everything to do with my home.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my home.  Unfortunately, my home is located in Texas, and in this state, we […]


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Trump has skin thinner than his wife and an ego bigger than my ass.margaretandhelenhelen-mug1margaret-mug1

Tue, 17 Jan 2017 15:37:18 +0000

 HELEN: Margaret, somebody called me an elitist because I think Trump and his supporters are morons.   I wasn’t’ quite sure what being an elitist means these days and I am pretty sure most people using that as an insult probably don’t either so I looked it up. After all, I’m just a little ole’ gal […]


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Ten Monkeys Tweeting On Ten IPhones Would Make A Better President Than Trumpmargaretandhelen

Tue, 10 Jan 2017 08:31:38 +0000

Margaret, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and rejoin the world again.  I figured enough time had passed since the election and surely Trump had finally made that pivot and started acting like a President. So I tuned in to CNN and… Nope.  Now, I’m not sure if Meryl Streep is overrated.  I […]


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