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Preview: Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative



Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.



Updated: 2018-04-13T06:21:39.649+10:00

 



New Life.

2010-08-09T18:40:59.398+10:00

My boy fills my world with hope & happiness.
All I'll ever need.
(image)
Goodnight.



Joy. It Be Here.

2010-05-14T17:39:39.210+10:00

Long time between posts. Hello.
I do hope the world of IF is well.
I am still separated from my DH. We see each other regularly, things are looking up. I do hope to move back home soon.
(image)
In the meantime, life as a single Mum is joyous. Hard, but wonderful. Cooper is a delightful side-kick who keeps my humour buoyant.
(image)
My little pad is feeling more like a homely refuge instead of an empty, lonely villa. We do enjoy our gypsy style life. We visit family often, take long trips to the park & beach. I look forward to each day ahead with my son.
I am happy. I feel grown up, relaxed and important. Feelings I hadn't experienced for ages.
An unhappy marriage can bring such agony. Emotional & personal turmoil are no longer for me. I have taken control....a huge leap of faith...and I think my bravery is paying off.
(image)
Don't stay in an unhappy situation forever.
Take yourself a few steps outside of the darkness & marvel.
The sun, it shines, oh how.
Laughter finds you.
The respect you deserve is attainable.
Believe in your capabilities & seek contentment.
Wrap it around your shoulders never let it go.
It's advice I should have given myself a long time ago.
Take it, if you need it....or share it with someone you care about.



Lost Treasure

2010-03-14T02:29:33.019+11:00

The school fair was in full swing by the time we arrived. Somewhere in the crowd was my Brother, SIL & kids. My nephews had been long awaiting their annual funday. Cooper nearly catapulted out of his stroller at the sight of RIDES! He could barely contain himself. Try explaining to a 2 year old that you have to WAIT in line before you get to spin around on the flying chairs. He was a squealing ball of toddler.
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When he finally landed a spot...it was I who became a squealing ball of Mother. Look at him go! My baby! Carnival fodder! Heellloooo!
(image)
After the ride I helped Cooper out his highly secure chair (20 cms of flimsy, lightweight chain) and handed him over the barricade to my Brother. I took all of 10 steps back around the enclosure and met with my Brother.....and where was the wee swinger Cooper? My brother shot me a "Uh-Oh" look.....looking around like a bloke who'd just been swindled. Cooper was gone.
The next 10 minutes were a haunting, flurry of mass panic & realisation. Somewhere in the moving, screaming throng was my boy. We looked high & low.
No Cooper.
I scanned the crowd.."please...please " I whispered through clenched teeth.."Let me see you"...
No Cooper.
We made our way to the Principal who clutched the all important microphone & he repeated the details:
"Attention everyone we have a lost 2 year old."
I've heard similar announcements a thousand times, but never have I described my own child's outfit for all to find.
"He has a grey t-shirt, denim shorts.."
"Nooooo!" I bellowed..."he's wearing long blue cords! And blue gum boots"
The details were corrected & I stood there desperately waiting for someone to stop my heart from exploding. LOOOKK everyone! Please, put down that sausage sandwich & look for blue gumboots!
The thoughts are irrational. Who has him? How much ground has he covered? Oh where is he? Please be safe. Please let me find him.
My mobile phone rang. He was found. The nightmare, brief, but over.
Of course he never even knew he was lost. The only thing missing to Cooper was a flimsy chain, a rickety swinging chair & the wind in his fine, blonde baby hair.



..long time

2010-03-06T15:08:49.818+11:00

(image)
...Miss me?
Just a brief drive by. I'm alive and well.
Cooper is devine. Life has been complicated of late. I have moved out. A seperation of sorts. Hope to reconcile soon. Still smiling & hopeful.



UP!

2009-12-26T02:07:42.491+11:00

(image)
..Cooper enjoying a splash with Dad on Christmas Day.



Character

2009-10-24T00:12:37.914+11:00

His little friend was sitting on the floor crying. She was in trouble for being a bit naughty. He went to her & crouched down then gave her a big embrace. She cuddled him back. I love that he has care & instinctive compassion in him. It shows me that I am raising a thoughtful little man.

I also love that I find him doing things like this.
(image)

He's definitely got some of my tomfoolery in his DNA.

(image)

And a love of headwear.



Two Up...

2009-10-17T19:16:23.226+11:00

Yes, turning 2 is a wondrous, adventurous step toward independence.
Yes, you are displaying hints of maturity.
Yes, you can blow out sparklers.
(image)
No.
You still aren't allowed to play with scissors.
Or eat dog biscuits.
(image)
Sorry 'bout that son.



The Big Game..

2009-10-11T03:34:06.951+11:00

Blue & Gold.
The colours of the Rugby League team I support.
(image)
I was born into a very fanatical "Parra Eels" loving family. As kids we were taught to say "Parra" before anything else.
(image)
There is something tribal about loving your team. When they are winning one can become insanely passionate.
(image)
When they qualify for the Grand Final for the 1st time in 23 years...well, one's head may explode from sheer delight. Last weekend I joined my family & 82,000 other spectators to cheer on our beloved Blue & Gold warhorses.
(image)
I created my very first football banner....the perfect accessory for a 37 year old woman! It was huge fun.
I kept thinking of the "Seinfeld" episode called "The Face-Painter"...Elaine's new boyfriend paints his face in team colours and she is mortified at his immaturity. What a hoot!
(image)
Here I am! Hilarious!
My Banner said "THE r'EEL d'EEL"...so smug was I with my imaginative play on words.
Sad. My team lost.
Sadder. My banner poles nearly impaled the poor lady in front of me on several occasions.
Saddest. I wasn't on the TV.
Happily... I am ready to do it all again next year!



Travel Tales

2009-10-03T10:53:57.722+10:00

(image)
We recently spent a week with my Brother & his family.
(image)
It was wonderful to experience their new lifestyle way up north. Home for them now includes wide, open grassy acres, Kookaburra's, surfboards, wandering cows and no great need for a watch. We immersed ourselves in the rural atmosphere. The ocean is close by. The night sky is dark & brilliant with stars. Cooper had a grand time with his cousins. He loved watching his Aunty & Uncle ride motorbikes. All the neighbourhood kids ride too. The flurry of action had him transfixed. He wasted no time gearing up in a helmet, boots & pants. He had found his Garden of Eden.
(image)
We miss each other alot, reconnecting with my neice & nephew was precious.
(image)
My nephew had trouble pronouncing Cooper's name when they were really little & much to our amusement he has always called Cooper "Buddy!" It's a nickname that has stuck, infact they are both referred to as "Buddy". It can be a little confusing for the boys, they don't always know which Buddy is being yelled at!



...Fashionista.

2009-09-12T10:39:57.941+10:00

He already tells me what he will & will not wear.
(image)
Unbelievable. I wasn't expecting this before his 2nd Birthday.
Acceptable items of clothing include anything with a Motorbike, Buzz Lightyear, Bulldozer or Thomas motif and/or a missing button, broken zipper, is 2 sizes too big or in the dirty clothes basket.
Unacceptable items include jumpers, jackets, overalls, anything freshly ironed or overly sensible and especially any outfit I find overwhelmingly adorable.

It should be noted that a previously unacceptable item can transform into acceptable if a Wiggles badge is attached, or if he's too transfixed by "The Muppet Movie" to notice I'm dressing him.

Thanks Kermit.



Father & Son Video

2009-09-07T13:15:26.075+10:00

allowFullScreen='true' webkitallowfullscreen='true' mozallowfullscreen='true' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwlUgRnABQV7OMSgs7hj_6v0KgWXei1H6OfgQ7XpCqu8nDTQL3Ykd6-S3uhs9lTQn_tus3UmWpwIf4' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' FRAMEBORDER='0' />

...in our backyard.
Just incase anyone thought I was having a Britney Spears moment.

Sincere apologies for the shrill commentary...as if the accent required any enhancment.



Boy Zone

2009-08-21T11:36:31.966+10:00

22 months old.
I can't quite grasp the fact that another Birthday is approaching. A 2nd birthday.
How did this happen?
(image)
(image)
I still have not had that "I want another Baby" feeling.
(image)
...I dig deep down within my true feelings and keep coming up with "No. I don't want another baby"
Why does this bother me so much?



Beauty

2009-07-25T06:18:58.672+10:00

These new pictures of Cooper make my heart swell. The complete and utter innocence of childhood. OMG his face...greeting the little boy, a complete stranger yet a true friend.
(image)
...and running through seagulls at Luna Park. Too small to ride the carousel but who cares when there's feathers to chase. I can hear him squealing....or is that me?
(image)



Fiji

2009-07-24T22:49:04.918+10:00

Boo! So....we've been holidaying in Fiji.
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Completely Devine...Warm, blue skies.
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Huge, sparkling swimming pools.
Swaying palms....Coconuts overhead...
(image)
Deck chairs....wet hair...sand in shoes.
(image)
Island hopping...watermelon at midnight...
(image)
Splashing toddler....hammock swinging...lapping ocean waves..

No mobile phone. No car. No internet. No cooking. No schedule.
My wallet is empty but my memory bank is full!



Click

2009-05-23T11:26:36.115+10:00

Recently Cooper had the opportunity to have his photograph taken with a couple of 1st grade football players. These guys are high profile (FAMOUS even!) in Sydney. It has been a thrill for us to have the rugged brunette live next door to my Aunty for the past few years. Sadly he is moving soon. We'll miss the sight of him mowing the lawn without a shirt, jogging back from the beach still wet & glorious. Seriously, I have never seen a more handsome man in real life. He is in peak physical form. Guns like nothing else. And would you believe he is even a really lovely man? He is totally devoted to his lucky wife & kids....this makes him even more attractive!
(image)
I always get a little star struck when I see him. Despite 18 stitches in his lip I still think he looks fabulous. Cooper was totally under awed....but when he grows up I'm sure he'll appreciate these photo's. I'll tell him how 2 famous Rugby League players picked him up, said "Hello Little Mate" and smiled for his semi-delirious, flustered mother.
(image)



Royal Easter Show

2009-04-26T02:39:05.758+10:00

Sydney-siders flock to the annual Royal Easter Show.
It's the same every year. Chaos. But I love going.
(image)
The crowds, the rides, the animals, the food. Kids plan weeks in advance which showbags they want.
(image)
It's a hideous rip off in so many ways. Everything cost 4 times more than it should....but still. It's FUN. This year Cooper was big enough to enjoy the Carousel. My voice went all high pitched as I loaded him onto a prancing stallion. "Ooooohh! who's riding a horsey?!!" We waved frantically to Nanny with each passing rotation (I waved...Cooper cantered) It was completely precious. The Easter Show has a whole new level of fun for me now, through my son. Next year perhaps he'll get his face painted, feed a piglet or demand the Dora showbag. Oh, sweet childhood. Embrace the days of innocence. My 14 year old cousin proclaimed that she'd rather be dead than wear a rain poncho, despite the frequent downpours. Not that long ago she was a Carousel rider too, waving to the crowd & not the least bit concerned about how her hair or lip-gloss looked. That's what I love about growing up with the Easter Show. At first you just ride the Carosel & grip your balloon, then you progress onto obnoxious air brush tattooed teenager, then pram pushing proud parent & one day you just go to admire the pickled fruit.
The memories are worth every grossly inflated cent.



April

2009-04-19T06:14:26.848+10:00

(image)
A blog entry for April.
Lazy bones is finally walking. Teetering & flailing...collapsing onto his lounge. His preferred mode of transport is still his 3 wheeled bike. He hurtles down the hall way, taking corners like a speedway racer. He just can't operate unless he has something on his head. A hat, a headband, a bowl!
Eg:
(image)
Funny little bloke. He is completely in awe of "Toy Story"....over & over...infinity, beyond & back again. I know it word for word. My favorite line is "That's MR Potato Head to you...you back stabbing murderer"...such fun for the kiddies. Oh and when Buzz is paging Star Command & ponders out loud "Why don't they ANSWER??" It's a total crack up.."The mystic portal awaits.." Man, I need to buy "Finding Nemo"
See you in May.....and "oh...it's a Combat Carl.."



Hip Hooray

2009-03-22T01:40:46.460+11:00

I turned 37 this week. Birthdays are nice. I got spoilt. Cooper loves the Happy Birthday song. Don't all kids? Here he is singing & clapping "Hooray!"
(image)
My Mum gave me a pendant that belonged to my precious Nan. My Nan passed away when I was 14, she was exceptionally loving & adored by us all. It's lovely to wear something that once adorned her neck.
Mum also did a little photo album for Cooper. It has pictures of all his cousins, us, the dog and him. He absolutely loves it. He sits & studies each photograph before a flurry of page turning and then more careful studying. He calls his new little cousin "A Bubby"
(image)
We are going to see The Wiggles next month. I know Cooper will lose his little mind when he sees Dorothy the Dinosaur. He loves her.
My girlfriend & I are thinking about selling some of our craft at the Markets. I have been sewing alot lately. It would be a buzz to sell some of my handiwork. Here are some of the little sunhats I've made.(image)
(image)
(image)



Zzzzzzz....

2009-02-28T20:07:26.460+11:00

Cruising in the car today I gleefully turned up the radio at the beginning of "All Out of Love" by Air Supply. Such a guilty pleasure....singing your heart out to the daggiest of tunes...You know all the words and the chorus leaves you with a ruptured vocal chord.
That's the Boogie.
After the song finished I heard a little sound coming from the back seat. It was my tiniest homie, Cooper..and he was clapping! Apparently my off-key belting rendition impressed him. Let's be honest, it's never too early to discover your Mum is a Rock Star.
(image)
I wonder who coined the phrase "Slept like a Baby..?"
It seems so contradicting. Or at least it DID. My Karitane experience has produced the most delightful, slumbering boy I've ever encountered.
Bedtime is easy. He actually waves goodnight. It is an absolute miracle. 12 hours, 11 hours...all night, every night. And I won't even bore you with the daytime napping stats. Let's just say I yawn a whole lot less these days.
Cooper, my beautiful little dude.
You are sleeping like a Baby.



Hats & Bears

2009-02-14T13:19:33.611+11:00

My son isn't a very affectionate boy. He rarely seeks cuddles or sits happily in my lap. He's far too busy.
(image)
He does however display immense love to his teddy. Both arms wrap teddy in a headlock. He spoons with Ted all night. I'm glad he has this security friend.
(image)
Similarly he will not wear a sunhat. Even for a second. BUT give him his Tonka hardhat & he puts it on his noggin for hours. He'll eat dinner with his hard hat on. He'll watch tele in his hard hat.
Tough enough for a hard hat...mushy enough for a teddy cuddle. A perfect blend for my boy.



Magic

2009-02-08T09:29:51.998+11:00

(image)
Karitane.
They came.
They saw.
They left.

...left me with a glossy pamphlet, a serious talking to and a whole new game plan. Like a shrill Supernanny episode...it is working.
My son is sleeping.
For hours upon hours.
I am completely gobsmacked. It's all so simple. Cooper goes to bed without a bottle, without his music box, without his pillow & without his on-demand Mother.
I just had to stay strong enough to let him cry it out. Scream & bellow & wail it out, actually. It wasn't easy...but it wasn't difficult either. When he woke through the 1st night I clutched my pillow, said a prayer out loud & watched the minutes of mayhem tick by on my clock. 12 long minutes passed before there was delightful silence. Each waking episode was handled the same way and 3 nights in he is sleeping 8 hours straight. I am giddy.



Alter Ego...

2009-01-25T06:47:47.042+11:00

Sweet Boy has recently introduced his alter ego to the household. Holy....he be naughty!
Tantrums! Frequently!
Whining! Often!
Maybe it's teething.
Maybe he's exploring new boundaries.
Maybe he's just a tiny monster!
(image)
I have finally sought help for his constant night waking. We have a Karitane home assessment booked early next month. Cooper wakes on average 4 times a night. I haven't had a full night's sleep in 15 months & it's finally taking it's toll.
Bedtime is a battle. He cries & cries, standing up in his cot wailing until he vomits! I couldn't count how many hours I've spent on my hands & knees cleaning up cranky baby vomit. Little bugger!
I hope the Karitane co-ordinator knows what she's in for! Hee!

Other news includes the arrival of a precious new niece! My SIL was taken to the hospital in a flurry of super speedy contractions & before we could even gather our thoughts my brother was calling to declare little Ella had arrived! "She's adorable.." he told me. I scared Cooper with my excited high pitched squeals! Another little girl to sew for...and I wasted no time revving up the Pfaff!
(image)



Ding Ding!

2009-01-11T22:28:04.338+11:00

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Oh Son.
Was there ever a cuter bicycle passenger? Ever?
We'll ride. Lots, you & I. Mama will stop every now & then to make sure you're secure...and to rest her screaming thigh muscles. You'll point to helicopters. And Cockatoo's. And I'll do my best to keep my slacks from getting caught up in the chain.
Loving you is the most exhilarating journey I've ever pedalled through. Even uphill.



2009

2009-01-01T04:17:01.065+11:00

I was watching an old Elton John video clip last week. I looked at his bald head & the gap between his front teeth.
He reminded me of someone. He seemed so familiar. Behold! A miniature Elton!
(image)
Christmas was very civilised. Cooper was not spoiled in the slightest.
(image)
We took the Winniebago down south for 5 days. Heavenly! He had his 1st frolic in the Ocean. Much-o fun-o. He crashed off beds, tumbled through doorways & bumped his head in 17 different ways. Grazed & bruised, he looks more like a street thug with each passing hour.
(image)
Learning to walk can be a very dangerous pass time. Daddy gave him a little pep talk...if you think walking is hazardous, Son...just wait until you start shaving.
Happy New Year everyone!



Shady

2008-12-21T03:52:14.601+11:00

(image)
He is learning so many little things. He knows that a hat goes on his head. He knows that the toothpaste goes on the toothbrush...and the toothbrush goes in his mouth. He knows that the doorbell means "Quick! Someone is here! Go to the door!"
And he knows that his new sunglasses will entertain all that see him...and that he looks pretty damn cool.