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Big Mama & The Bristol Project





Updated: 2018-03-05T07:37:46.591-08:00

 



Pumpkin Pudding Crunch

2012-11-16T18:47:03.973-08:00


Featured on LIVE Kelly & Micheal. All props go to them in hopes one day I will win that stinkin Travel Trivia!! 

INGREDIENTS:
2 sticks salted butter
1 large can pumpkin puree (If you are using one can, it should be the 29oz can or 2 15oz cans)
3 brown eggs
1 large can evaporated milk
1 cup white sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
1 box yellow cake mix
Fresh mint leaves
Whipped topping

DIRECTIONS:
• Melt butter; set aside
• In large bowl, mix together: pumpkin puree, eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla extract cinnamon & nutmeg
• Pour into baking dish
• Sprinkle evenly over mixture, dry cake mix. Cover completely with cake mix.
• Pour melted butter on top to cover cake mix, do not mix in. Butter should sit on top of cake mix.
• Bake for 1 hour @ 350 degrees
• Let cool; best served cold
• Top with a dollop of whipped topping, dash of cinnamon and garnish with a mint leaf


(image)



Speaking Thug About A New Home

2012-11-11T15:32:19.048-08:00

Check out my new digs!  It's my new crib! I'm speaking thug can you tell? Like a hard core gangsta! Really I'm just a white chick from the sticks. Six bedroom, three bath, food room, two utility rooms, movie, and game room. Lots or room to lose five kids!Master BedroomMaster BathDiningKitchenLiving RoomLiving RoomGuest BathPrivate DeckGame Room and Movie RoomBackyardThat's Tight, Yo!!It's really hard to show gratitude when I'm speaking White Chick Gangsta, but we're really blessed!Special Thanks to Joyce Smith, Realtor[...]



Stuffed BBQ Chicken Croissant

2012-11-08T08:18:13.406-08:00


You can boil the chicken, but it's much better if you slow cook it with your favorite BBQ sauce.
Pop open a can of your favorite brand of Croissants, 
Place a spoonful of shredded BBQ Chicken and some shredded cheese and roll up as you would if you were making the croissants. 
Bake according to the directions on the croissant packaging. For us it was 375 for about 12 minutes. 
Simple with yummy salad! Enjoy!
(image)



On The Beach!! (Insert Swear Word Here!)

2012-11-08T11:08:41.123-08:00

Okay, so I'm on the beach, big deal. I even have a swim suit. With Polka Dots!! I mean really who in the industry doesn't ever take a slight unwanted sabbatical?

  • On The Beach: Radio Slang. Getting fired. Currently has no place of employment.
I got the 'eliminating your position for budget costs' reason. I want to be angry, but in all fairness I can't. 
I wanted to call the General Manager of Big Broadcasting Company all sorts of names and lash out at his unfair justifications. But I couldn't. I knew he had no choice, and he is a totally cool guy. I was kinda bummed, because really that would have been a great story!!

So I am sad. I asked Mr Totally Cool Guy with unfair justifications if he felt bad. His reply, 'Extremely.' 

"Good." I said. "I am gonna sit here a long time and make you feel worse by crying!" So I did. 

They told me to hold my head high and not to feel bad about anything. 

I am still welcome to do my weekend shows and some production. That's cool. 

But seriously? On the beach? Please, I am so NOT a swimsuit chick. Don't the Polka Dots scaring people away.


I freakin rock!

I'm gonna invent something

Oh! Wait...I already did that. 

SHARKTANK!! 

I think I will write a book too. 

I've never been fired before. If you have, your freakin rock too!!



DIY How To Transfer Your Favorite Photo to Blank Stretched Canvas

2012-11-08T08:01:14.122-08:00

I crafted my pants and I couldn't be happier! I'm so excited about this that I have to blogboast.I can't believe I actually finished the entire project all the way through... I love canvas photo's and I learned how to do this myself. It can be pricey and I am glad I got this to work.Materials you will need... Black & white photo printed from your home computer (Not color despite the photo I've shown above)Gel Medium Blank 8 x 10 Stretched CanvasLg. Paint Brush Modge Podge (Matte or Spray Gloss)--Not PicturedWater BottleStep One:Generously apply gel medium to the blank canvas. I started doing that before I took the material picture above so you can see my method and where I was headed with it.Also Note:I initially printed off a color photo that did NOT work for this project. You'll see why later.Step Two:Once I had a generous amount of gel medium brushed on, I placed the photo (photo side down) as centered as I could and pressed it against every inch of the canvas working through it with my fingers. Let this dry for several hours or overnight.Step Three: Once dry, spray liberally with a water bottle. Gently pull wet paper away with your fingers. This gets really time consuming and messy.The reason why a black and white photo is better is because it is normal to rub some color pigment off the canvas. Using a black and white makes the photo look old and rustic. When I used a color picture It looked like a ruined project.Step Four:Once you feel like you have enough paper rubbed off then you are ready to seal it. I used a spray Modge Podge Gloss. You can brush it on with a Modge Podge Matte finish too if you would like. This is a wedding gift to the bride! She's gonna love it![...]



I Love Hate Pinterest

2012-06-19T20:58:18.501-07:00

 Isn't Pinterest wonderful? I mean recipes and idea's galore. This is what I meant to achieve.This is what I got.  Sure, they were yummy, I mean Big Mama can cook.BUT It was a simple reminder...This was what Big Mama wanted to be in High School. This is what she really was. Here's the recipe anyway. They were delish. Defrost one bag of Mrs. Rhodes Bread Dough (Yep. I'm so THAT chick. Homemade? Go ahead, knock yourself out!)Roll out to 1/2" thick.Butter dough, sprinkle cinnamon sugaradd chocolate chips, walnuts and roll.Pull dough as you roll it so it doesn't get too thick.Once rolled, cut about 1/2" apart (This is where I went wrong. You can do more, just don't use a muffin pan) place in muffin pan and let rise until twice it's size. Bake @ 350 for about 15 minutes until golden brownFor the icing, mix equal parts butter and and cream cheese, one tsp of vanilla, then add powdered sugar until desired sweetness. Sorry I don't have exact measurements. I taste as I go. [...]



Walgging For Breast Cancer Awareness

2012-05-25T15:42:53.853-07:00


Snooki's pregnant and announcing that she is having a boy. Me? Not a Snooki fan and I can't see her as a Mother.

At least she won't have much clothing to remove when she breast feeds.

That is totally not what I wanted to write about.

I did my first 10k. Yep. I was nervous. Rheesah waited for me at the finish line. Isn't she so cool! Love. Her! It was the Best. Run. Ever! There was one minor point in mile three when I was walgging...

I don't really jog, but it's way more than walking, so walgging is the only phrase I could think of that really describes it. Anyway...

There was one minor point in my walgging mile three that I was crossing a bridge. I looked forward knowing I was only half way into it, but there was a nagging decision at that very point.

Keep going another three long miles....

Or plunge to my death over this bridge.

Luckily I had just paid $100 for my running shoes and I wanted to get my moneys worth.

And they were pink. I didn't want to get them dirty.

And it was for Aunt Peg. If she could go through Chemo and sweaty fake strap on boobs in 110 degree Southern Utah heat, then surely I could finish this race.

At that thought, I didn't waver again.

The Best THING EVER about the 10k...
I found everyone took special pity on the chubby girl.

Like weird hold-my-hand-and-tell-me-that-I'm-pretty pity. I'd been training, and well, I mentioned the awesome pink shoes. Totally had the tunes going...I mean, I looked serious.

But then there was this guy...

35ish  55ish, fit, barely breaking a sweat.

He says to me around mile 1.8, "You could just walk. You burn as many calories as jogging and it's less impact on your knees."

Yep. That guy. I throw him a dirty look. I have enough 'you can't do it' voices in my head. I didn't want to hurt him, but it was definitely on the list.

Which reminds me. I need to take "Highway to Hell' and 'No Air' off my running walgging playlist.

My retort to the geriatric jogger was, "You say that to all the girls here?"

With a smile of course, because I don't want to be rude. "It's about self-fulfillment. You know, goals." Totally thinking about Aunt Peg. "Thanks for the advice though."

Another totally good thing...

I wasn't even that sore. Which was really funny because all my other family members that did race (love you skinny skanks!), couldn't move all day! Then they were even worse the next day.

Don't get me wrong! I felt it. C'mon! 6.4 miles of walgging, who wouldn't?! But it was more like a 'just had a longer work-out' sore.

So glad I did it, and I am totally doing it again.


Breast Cancer Awareness. I love all you fighters! Props!



Childrens Cloth Flowered Washable Eye Patch for Lazy Eye, Stigmatism, or Myopia

2012-11-12T10:55:38.556-08:00

For many of my blog followers, you have seen my eye patches evolve from the first patch I ever made, to turning my kitchen into a (cheesy post link alert) sewing eBay sweatshop. A complete list of Witty Stitches Eye Patches are currently available for sale.The reason for this post is to explain how they were brought forth to those that are new to my creation. Very soon, I will create an entirely new website and keep my personal blog as it is.Savannah, my oldest daughter, was diagnosed with a lazy eye at age eight. It was recommended to purchase a small decorative eye patch to cover her strong eye for four hours a day in hopes the weaker eye would be forced to work. This patch cost $15, was made of felt, and decorated with glitter. After only a day of wear, the fleece was starting to pull apart and the glitter was shedding into my daughters eye adding to her pain and discomfort. As a larger family with a limited budget I couldn't exactly afford $15 for a patch for it to last a few days. When I discussed this with Savannah's eye doctor he suggested idea. He folded a four-inch-square piece of gauze until it was roughly the size to cover her closed eye lid and he gently attached it over her closed eye. My daughter was very uncomfortable to the point of being emotional. Although effective, her self-esteem and inner confidence plummeted. Suddenly her handicap was all over her face. I knew there had to be a better way. I pulled out my craft supplies wondering how hard could it really be? My first patch I ever made I used felt material. I knew that if I made it cute and girly she would wear it. If she wore it, then it was win-win for us both. As time went on I would change and alter the pattern to fit better, improve occlusion, or fashion it more to a childs interest. From April 20th, 2011, I have sold over 400 Witty Stitches Eye Patches via Craigslist, eBay, Etsy, and Social Media Sites. These patches eased our family budget paying for Christmas, school clothes, and the occasional date night for my spouse and I. While all this was nice, I believe the best thing that has happened is the feedback I have received from happy parents relieved that their child loves wearing their Eye Patch. The biggest reward for me was knowing I turned my daughters handicap into a fashion accessory. After one year of wearing her eye patch that I had made, her doctor commented of her "impressive progress" stating she no longer needed to wear one. [...]



Children's Cloth Flowered Washable Eye Patch for Lazy Eye, Stigmatism, or Myopia

2012-11-12T10:57:41.740-08:00

For many of my blog followers, you have seen my eye patches evolve from the first patch I ever made, to turning my kitchen into a (cheesy post link alert) sewing eBay sweatshop. A complete list of Witty Stitches Eye Patches are currently available for sale.The reason for this post is to explain how they were brought forth to those that are new to my creation. Very soon, I will create an entirely new website and keep my personal blog as it is.Savannah, my oldest daughter, was diagnosed with a lazy eye at age eight. It was recommended to purchase a small decorative eye patch to cover her strong eye for four hours a day in hopes the weaker eye would be forced to work. This patch cost $15, was made of felt, and decorated with glitter. After only a day of wear, the fleece was starting to pull apart and the glitter was shedding into my daughters eye adding to her pain and discomfort. As a larger family with a limited budget I couldn't exactly afford $15 for a patch for it to last a few days. When I discussed this with Savannah's eye doctor he suggested idea. He folded a four-inch-square piece of gauze until it was roughly the size to cover her closed eye lid and he gently attached it over her closed eye. My daughter was very uncomfortable to the point of being emotional. Although effective, her self-esteem and inner confidence plummeted. Suddenly her handicap was all over her face. I knew there had to be a better way. I pulled out my craft supplies wondering how hard could it really be? My first patch I ever made I used felt material. I knew that if I made it cute and girly she would wear it. If she wore it, then it was win-win for us both. As time went on I would change and alter the pattern to fit better, improve occlusion, or fashion it more to a childs interest. From April 20th, 2011, I have sold over 400 Witty Stitches Eye Patches via Craigslist, eBay, Etsy, and Social Media Sites. These patches eased our family budget paying for Christmas, school clothes, and the occasional date night for my spouse and I. While all this was nice, I believe the best thing that has happened is the feedback I have received from happy parents relieved that their child loves wearing their Eye Patch. The biggest reward for me was knowing I turned my daughters handicap into a fashion accessory. After one year of wearing her eye patch that I had made, her doctor commented of her "impressive progress" stating she no longer needed to wear one. [...]



My Letter To Ellen Degerenes

2012-05-25T19:25:26.777-07:00

Dear Ellen,

For my true story, I wrote you a poem. Inspired by Dr. Suess.

Ready for marriage I had found a looker. Nice, cute and ready for love, my parents said, "Oh What a Sucker!"

Before I knew it I was becoming a Mom. I was scared! I had killed the houseplants and was hated by the dog!

Dirty diapers and babies crying all night. What happened to my hips??
Surely this can not be right!

It went from one kid to five. I forget their names, clothes and shoes...They are going to hate me alive!

We play Ring Around the Rosie's and Hide & Go Seek. I always stay hidden for awhile, I just need some peace!

Sometimes it's too tough Ellen, problems I can't seem to mend
Then Dad comes home at five to find me crying in the pantry again!

Too many days my spirits start to harden. Why is marijuana illegal? It's be great in my dying herb garden!

I need a break! I will work hard and save to go
To see funny Ellen in Chi-ca-go!

For now, Thank you for the peace you give me everyday at three
It helps! Courtesy of my television, You, Warner Bros and ABC!

(Ellen - I know your in California, but I couldn't find anything to rhyme with Burbank! :-D)"



Dear Curtis Stone

2012-05-25T19:25:47.328-07:00

I would like to personally invite you to be a guest speaker on our Morning Radio Show. Being that it is Thanksgiving time, and I am going to be burning cooking a turkey!

Hey! Did you know that I produce a morning radio show? I was just thinking that I would love it if you could be a guest on our show. You know that I am a huge fan, right? I have even blogged about you before talking about your darling eyes & smile recipes. In fact, I think I must warn you. I may or may not have even said that you stalk me on a post. Or maybe two. But certainly not three. I honestly can't remember how many, but that doesn't matter, right? I mean, were all crazy friends here! So please feel free to join our morning radio fun with our great host and we'll talk of how beautiful you the turkey will look this Thanksgiving!

And of course you can promote all the latest happenings and projects that  myself  all our listeners want to know about. :-)

Sincerly, Rheanna Bristol
Morning Show Radio Producer
95.9 KZHK



Saving The World One Messy Face At A Time

2011-11-06T21:58:33.551-08:00

My life is busy. I mean busy! Like super-duper-saving-the-world-one-messy-face-at-a-time-busy!  Here is a basic outline. 

1.Mommy & Wifey!! The best blessing ever! Where would I be without them?

2.My calling. Another great blessing and I get to include my whole family in it.

2.The Morning Show! Another great blessing to be a part of. I am the Producer!! Can the show run without me? I. Think. Not!

3.School! My thought here is very similar to those on the titanic when they were experiencing the best Vaca ever, then they had the sudden horrific realization. Crap! We are gonna sink! That’s me. Wifey, Mommy, Morning Show Producer, then…Dun, Dun, Duuunnn!!! ALGEBRA. I’m pretty sure I can hear the actual Titanic string quartet playing solemnly every Tuesday and Thursday from 4:00pm-6:00pm.  Depressing, I know.

4.My eBay store. I love it! I think it’s wonderful and a huge blessing to my family. I won’t go into details until copyrights are complete, other than to say I. Love. It!! 

5. Rental Management has taken lots of time, a huge blessing to us, but I’m happy to say that that may be a ease soon.

 **I do realize that I have two #2’s. I just don’t feel the need to go all the way back and correct it all. Which brings me to my favorite part of this message.

I. am. Not. Perfect. 

With all this on my plate, I have a tendency to rough myself up be really hard on myself. With the way I talk to myself, I would never have me as a friend, and If I were married to myself, I would get a divorce! I really beat myself up about things! Not quite sure why I can be so understanding to others, yet verbally abuse myself over not getting the dishes done. I should be pleased with the fact that the dishes get more attention than the Algebra.

I mean really, my next thank you card Jimmy Fallon will be, “Dear Math. Grow up and solve your own problems!” I guess there is no thank you in that, but you get the idea.

So I learned this week and especially today, that there are many things I have a testimony about. Family, my faith, Jesus Christ, doing as much good as you can…etc. I was surprised by the thought that occurred to me was, with everything you have a testimony about, have a testimony of yourself too. Believe in yourself and have faith in you. We Mom's are great! We need to stop beating ourselves up and treating ourselves better!

That's my thought today!
Cheers! I'm out!
Morning Show Next!
Pro-ducerrrr!!!

Afterthought- I'd go back and correct the typo's, but that would be being too hard on myself... :-)



...Wait! I Think I Have A Blog!

2012-05-25T20:13:16.543-07:00

That's right! I'm a blogger. It's not like I forgot, I mean how could I? It's more like that thing you love to do, when you have time to do it...To think I haven't blogged for silly reasons. Like Education and What I need to thaw for dinner.

Oh. That reminds me...*meat in sink*


Savannah is 10 and in her second year of orchestra. It's really cool when your kids become more like your friends. Her, Rheesah, and myself all went away for a weekend and we had tons of fun! She rocks.


Rheesah is just like me. She instigates, cracks jokes, and is a spitting image of what I looked like as a kid.
You know how your parents say, "I hope you someday have a kid just like you!" Well here she is! She keeps us all laughing. I was wrong about the sense of humor thing, hers outweighs any of ours by far!




Kaylah is in Kindergarten and everyday asks, "Do I have school tomorrow?" Yep.

Friday's are rough. And I haven't had the heart to tell her about Christmas Vaca yet. Cross that bridge when we come to it.

She's a funny girl.




THE BOY!! I love him so much. I can totally say he is my favorite boy right?

How could anyone not love this face!

(image) Well, when he's drinking his own bathwater, it is a little easier not to love this face, but still! What a cutie-pie!

I took him to his check up for the normal routine. The doc takes one look at him and says, "What a good looking four year old!"

I say..."He just turned two."

But the clothing he wears sides with the Doc.

I guess there is something to that bath water...




This is my baby. My used to be baby. My, 'she's getting older and now she isn't really a baby' baby. 

My English Professor would tear that last sentence apart.

Sorry Mr. Punctuation, your in my world now. Bristol University. It's a household name.
Seriously. Google it!

Tangent. Sorry.

Lylah is so smart! Even at 14 months (I think) this girl can work it! She beats up her older brother too, which I think is funny. But only because he beats her up too. It's always a fight between them. I can't wait till they get over that.

Wait...They will get over that, right?



I Moved

2011-08-29T20:52:05.713-07:00

So the morning show host that hired me got a job offer. That's right Peeps! He's moving on to bigger and better things. Where does that leave Big Mama on the radio?

It's okay. Dry your eyes. I'll be fine. Because I'm going with!

I think the conversation went something like this:
"Okay. I accept the offer. But I just hired this new producer. I can't just turn my back on her."
"Well, does she know the equipment?"
"No."
"Is she experienced?"
"No."
"Well..."
"But she's talented."

Big Mama on the radio is talented!!

So they listened to me for a week.

Then I got an offer to go too!

That's right mean Katy Perry! Who's got a Friday night party now?!

Except I don't think I will be waking up drunk, not remembering what I did, and having it all over the internet.


(image) The Jon Smith Show starts on 95.9 THE HAWK On September 1st.


For you dutiful peeps that have been following Big Mama for years. I have two words for you.


LIVE STREAMING!!

That's right Peeps! Live Stream! Which is WAY more than the other place gave me.

Well...not to be ungrateful...

I did get a chair.

And a computer that didn't work.

And I think they threw in a pencil for good moral.

And I got to wave to the hardworking Hispanic crew that interrupted our air time every Wednesday at 8:00am to trim the hedges and mow the lawn right out side our studio.

I don't think they will miss the messages we hung in the window for them to admire.

But that is off the point.

The Jon Smith Show! 95.9! September 1st!



Checkin Out My Junk

2011-08-12T22:33:56.682-07:00

So there was a time awile back I had no confidence. Zero. It was replaced with 270 pounds of junk in the trunk.

Seriously. No. Confidence.

I know what your thinking this is going to be a pep talk about confidence.

Its not.

Well, maybe.

You see, when I realized I needed the confidence, I knew no way of how to get it. Seriously. 270 pounds is a lot of junk in the trunk. No room for confidence in that trunk.

So, I decided if I want to be HOT, or just feel HOT, I needed some mental perspective.

I decided to compare myself to others. When I saw a guy with a girl in my similar junk in the trunk situation, I would smile and say to myself, "He's into BIG BEAUTY, so he must think I am HOT! Because I am BIG BEAUTY!" I conviced myself into believing he was TOTALLY checking me out.

He totally wasn't. But that doesn't matter. It's despite the point.

When I saw a cute skinny chick with a hot dude, I would say to myself, "Dang! He. Is. Cute.!" Then I would tell myself he couldn't have me.

Thats right girls. I had to let him down easy before he started his mental lust with junk in the trunk Big Mama.

Cuz lets face it. I am way too much woman for him.

Literally.

Had to break it to him easy. Couldn't let the skinny cute chick know he was checkin out my junk.

Cuz she'd be totally jealous. Seriously. She didn't have junk like my junk.

I had the realization that I was a whole lotta woman!

Thats right Beyonce! Foxy Cleopatra!

So, eventhough I am still cleaning out the trunk, sorry boys. Gotta go get your junk elsewhere!



Big Mama Flirts With The Crazy Guy

2011-08-12T22:30:03.252-07:00

It's been awhile Peeps! How've ya been? I've missed you. In light of my new radio duties, I've been distant. But I have so much to tell you about!

Which brings me to a new theme that must be recognized. It's called, Big Mama Flirts With the Crazy Guy.

On my first day in the studio I meet a man we will can Warren. I am instantly warned, "If Warren says anything to you, don't be offended. He's crazy." Okay then. Note to self. Warren. Is. Crazy.

There is more to this warning. It goes like this. "He doesn't like women in the work place. Women aren't women or ladies. They are girls." The word girls stated as derogatory and diminished.

I see this not as a warning, but a challenge. Warren will like me. Because I am a womangirl. In fact, Warren may never forget me. *cue mischievous laughter*

Day two at work when I notice the big trash can is full. I proceed to lift the hefty cinch sack to take out. Just as I have pulled it out, but not yet placed it on the floor next to me, I hear a gruff 70 year old voice.

"Hey! That is my job!" Did I mention that Crazy Warren is 70 years old. Yes he is a social security recipient voice of crazy that doesn't like me cuz I am a girl. I smile remembering my pursuit to overcome this social challenge.

"Oh, you should do this for me." I say sweetly. "You are so much stronger than me." I smile.

He doesn't catch on to my friendliness at first. He just continues on with craziness. "How's the job?" I take mental note that he says the word job, just like the word girl.

"It's really good." I am still smiling at him, hoping he'll notice.

"Yeah, your pretty lucky." He started saying something, and I think the crazy in him is starting to flare. "You just come in here right off the street, with no experience..." crazy is shaking his head in disgust. He mumbles other words not nearly audible with the word, "girl!" followed right after.

Oh, I might be in for it. This is going to be harder than I think. 70 year old crazy Warren better watch out. Even after this slight set back, I am sure to impress that hairpiece right off his head!

Girl!

The next day.

Crazy gramps is hauling boxes. I hold the door open for him. I say, in the midst of  noticing the sweat coming from the hair piece and an overwhelming scent of Ben-Gay, "How are you Warren?"

"Tired!" he gruffly says. He is just as cranky. Poor crazy! It must be so hard to be so Warren.

Undiscouraged, I say, "Well, that is only because you work so hard, and no one notices." I give the sweet smile and this time I walk away with the last word. That's right ladies! Keep the crazy wanting more.

Stay tuned for more up and coming features of Big Mama flirts with the crazy guy! Who knows what tomorrow has in store.



Memory Monday - The Sample Spoon

2011-07-11T00:08:13.475-07:00

Bad Pic Quality. I blame the Spoons, not my camera phone...Big Mama loves ice cream. I don't eat it a lot, so when I do, I don't waste my time on boring flavors. Come on, do I look, sound, seem like a chic who would be happy with vanilla? I didn't think so. So, being that you know me better now, I will tell you of a cool place to get ice cream. Since I don't want to shamelessly plug I won't tell you who it was. **Cough**Cough** Uh-Huh...Cold-stone Creamery. It was a fun night. People, friends, my cackling aunts, family, and the same night as a formal dance at the local high school. Lots of prom princesses with there little tuxedo princes. Super cute.We walk into the unnamed ice cream joint amidst laughter, high fives, and one girl wiping chocolate off the chiffon dress. As were standing in line, we come across the wonderful behind the counter helper. When I say wonderful, what I really mean is, the girl that wasn't asked to prom and know has to work because all the co-workers went which leaves her at the sorry ice cream store dishing fun scoops of ice cream to you guessed it, all her prom peers. Poor girl. I felt sorry for her at first.My sorriness only lasted a split second when she looked sharply to me and my aunt and demanded our ice cream choice. Sheesh! She was so friendly. No wonder she had prom dates lining the block...Anyway, my aunt quickly decided on a flavor. Being that my attention span is smaller than Lindsey Lohan's career, and one flavor for the entire visit just wasn't sparking and interest to me, I decided to sample everyone elses. I see a canister on the counter with wording on the side. I quickly scan over the words reading "Sample Spoons". So I grab one and stick it in my aunt's ice cream awaiting the delish coolness. Just before I stick the spoon in my mouth, the stuffy No chance of becoming prom queen girl says, "Those are dirty!" I don't think she is talking to me, because why would they put dirty spoons in with the clean ones.I know she's a smitten lonely no prom girl, but come on. That. Is. Gross!"No I mean, those spoons are used." I stop with the plastic germ laden spoon almost at the tip of my tongue. I finally return the lonely girls harsh look as she points to the cannister that I finally notice clearly reading, "TRIED IT LOVED IT SAMPLE SPOONS"I would like to point out the obvious USED sign. Could it be that this has possibly happened before? WHY DIDN'T IT JUST SAY TRASH!!! Breathe, Big Mama!! Breeeeathe!!! Totally disgusted, I throw the ice cream spoon back into the canister.  Sure it wouldn't have been the end of the world, and lets admit it, with all the happy prom dates present, I understood the amount of saliva that would be passed around that night. Thankfully, it wasn't mine![...]



Big Mama is on the Radio!

2011-08-07T20:21:28.381-07:00

HIRED!!


Can you believe it! I got the job! It's official! I am the new Co-host of the Jon Smith Morning Show on 92.1! I am so excited to get things going! Big Mama is gonna be on the radio! How super duper freaky delish is that??

Of course this all depends on the Background test the HR dept is doing.

Wait...! Background check? Crap. They might find out that 'Big Mama' is actually my prison name.

But that's okay. I know rich powerful people that might make certain bodies, bank accounts, herb fields, instances disappear.

On Air with Big Mama!



Dear Mr. Jon Smith. Hire Me.

2012-01-19T18:59:44.439-08:00

I had an awesome interview today. It was for a morning  producer/slight on air personality on the award winning Jon Smith Morning Show on Cherry Creek's 92.1. Yes. I would be the Roz to Frazier. I felt like it went good. I don't want to be over confident, however I have done interviews before, and had I interviewed myself, I would have totally hired me after today! {**Please forgive me for not expressing my humilty. It is a weakness I often struggle with**}

Yes. Perhaps I am very over confident. I could very well NOT get the job. So I have been weighing the pro's and cons of having this wonderful job. In light of this heavy mental weighing, I have came up with different scenarios of getting the job or not getting the job.


GOT THE JOB--Then I do fun work that makes Jon Smith look better than he ever has! I know folks! Hard to do, but totally possible! Then I quietly and contentedly sit back and let him take all the credit. Not in a jealous or attention seeking way, but in a 'this is how it is supposed to be' kind of way.

OR

DID NOT GET THE JOB--I become a fan of Marty Lane.

GOT THE JOB--I pursue my career in communications and become female master of the universe. :-)

OR

DID NOT GET THE JOB--I invent and market the Jon Smith bathroom cleaner.

GOT THE JOB--While you may or may not get to hear more of Big Mama's crazy thoughts, you will know that somewhere there is added genius behind his morning show.

OR

DID NOT GET THE JOB--I get a job at the competition and leave Jon Smith forever scratching his head saying, "I should have hired her, I totally should have...."


** Special Note **
Dear Mr Dave H.,
I totally thought talking with you was awesome today as well. In fact, I understand that if Jon Smith(or whomever makes that decision) makes the 'DID NOT GET THE JOB' decision, I hold absolute no ill will against you whatsoever! If that happens, however, I might have some bathroom cleaning materials you might be interested in. That is, unless Marty Lane buys it all. I would truly hate to see that happen!



Homemade Ice Cream

2012-05-25T20:48:46.214-07:00

My Dad, being a cooking/baking Novice gave me this recipe. He used it when he worked in Alaska. These are restaurant size portions, so I had to cut recipe down to fit my small ice cream maker. It is super fun with the kids on family night!

Ice cream
2 1/2 cups milk
2 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups half n half
1 1/2 tbspn vanilla
5 cups whipping cream

Pour milk in a sauce pan add sugar and salt heat to a boil (without scorching it!!) Thanks Dad! Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well add to ice cream mixer and mix tell thick. Then call me to come down for Ice cream and cake If you don't I will never give you any more recipes.
Love Dad



New Look & Name, Same Big Mama

2012-01-19T19:09:14.591-08:00

Sew, you diligent readers that have been with me since Blog day 1 have personally witnessed this blog go through so many changes. For you crazy Big Mama Stalkers I am going to sum up a few things that I am super excited about in a list post. Here goes...1.I am no longer www.thebristolproject.blogspot.com. What a mouthful! You can now find me at ...www.wittystitches.com2. Please don't blame an educated professional on my poor pixilated look. I did the graphics here myself. Which shows you how absolute little I know about Graphics on the Internet. Or is it called a graphics designer? No. Website Graphic Artist? Sheesh! I can't remember! I can't even tell you the name that I am supposed to be not good at!! Graphic Designer? That's it!! GRAPHIC DESIGNER!! I am so glad ya'll could be here for this moment of self revelation...3.I am almost finished with Spring Semester. Finals week here I come. I am totally gonna give the testing center some Big Mama to deal with!4. Back to the pixleated look, if you have suggestions, or perhaps want every stinkin password I own, please be my guest, however, know that I have been a horrible retched blog friend and expect no one to come running to my aid.   5. I may have posted something about pregnancy a few posts back that stirred up some dust. To set the record straight, I am NOT pregnant. I may or may not guarantee that will or will not change next month, week, or year. Please refer to my disclaimer page for further information. 6. If you feel the need to continue to find me at the mouthful of www.blogspotoldnamebecauseIdon'tlikechange.com then feel free, because they will reroute you for awhile. 7. I have my digital camera filled with pictures, tutorials, a bleeding stitched finger (that I won't show) and fun times to get caught up on. Plus there is a Memory Monday story that is stinking embarrassing! By embarrassing, I mean hilarious! 8.One more thing. For you IdontLikeChange.com people, I am still Big Mama, that just won't go away!  9.Okay seriously, one more thing. I totally LOVE the subliminal messages in the background. How stinkin intimidated  are you now because of my mad graphic whatever skills! Yeah. I wrote it myself. I totally rock like that. 10.Okay, seriously! Last one! How do I get rid of my NavBar?? And please don't send me to the HTML page. That page HATES me!  [...]



Sweet Pepper & Basil Sandwich

2012-05-25T19:31:50.110-07:00

Definitely a Fave! Oh goodness! This was so good, I even surprised Mr Big Mama. the hubby. He loves this! 

Special thanks and all credit goes to Better Homes and Gardens for this recipe and picture. This was not my creation!


Thinly slice 1 small green, yellow, and orange pepper, and one small onion

Warm a large saute pan with about a tablespoon of olive oil and 1 minced garlic clove

Saute vegetables and onions together until almost-soft and onions turn almost-clear.

Drizzle 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar and sprinkle with salt to taste.

Grill whole wheat buns and spread with 1/4 cup mayo and 1/2 teaspoon horseradish previously mixed together.

Dress buns with mayo mixture, sweet peppers, top with fresh mozzarella cheese, fresh tomato slice and instead of lettuce, use basil leaves for added flavor. 



Vegetable Quiche

2012-05-25T20:50:32.386-07:00

 Being that I grew up Poor White Trash, I'd never known what Quiche was. I didn't even know how to spell Quiche. I thought it was like those really fancy things to have in your kitchen like caviar and paper towels.
One day, Quiche entered my mind for some reason. I thought that it couldn't be that hard to make so I did some experimenting.
Being that we are a family in love with vegetables, I took one of every vegetable out of the fridge. It didn't matter what it was. Also being that I am still working on the Heff thing, I didn't want to add any starchy crusts.


1-Grate one yellow squash and one zucchini squash. Press it into a 12in (for my big family I used a 12" pie pan, but a 10" would be sufficient)

2-Spray pie dish with a non-stick something or other and form a tight pie crust with the grated squash.

3-Finely chop or grate any other desired vegetable. If you want bigger vegetables, you might want to slightly steam them first so they are not too firm inside the Quiche once it's already cooked. Sprinkle vegetables with garlic salt to taste.

4-Beat desired amount of egg (or egg substitute) and small amount of milk. If your like me, you have little egg to vegetable. That's okay, it will still hold up. Just make sure egg at least covers veggies inside pie dish.

5-Bake 350 for 25-30 minutes. Once done, lightly sprinkle with favorite cheese.

6-Add salsa and sour cream for topping. Enjoy!

Now, as I am thinking...this would probably be good with some fresh herbs too. If your a meat eater there is lots of fun you could have as well adding Ham or Sausage. Great for any meal, so experiment and have fun!
...And my apologies. I have a tendency to not keep track of the exact measurements. I eyeball it or just taste as I go (except for raw meat or dairy of course ;-D  ) When I make this again I will try to get the exact amounts for easier duplication.



CHILDREN'S EYE PATCHES & Big Mama! Take A Breather!

2012-04-15T23:09:45.586-07:00

Big Mama Needs a breather! It has been awhile my peeps! How've ya been? What month is it? Okay, March. It's March. Where have I been?? I know there was Christmas a couple weeks ago, and lots of school. Really everything is a blur. Sometimes I feel like I've been in a nine month coma! Oh wait, nine months. That's pregnancy. That's right! Oh, sorry peeps, no pregnancy announcements here! Although there should be a warning label stated somewhere that pregnancy leads to birthing a child. Many sleepless nights. Wonderment of how short the single years were, and more wonderment as to how long it will take them to grow up and move out! Anyway, I'm off track again. I do that a lot! I was supposed to do my responsible Fly-Lady duties, yet here I am...rambling to all of you...The reason for my post, other than to say hello to my most missed friends, is to put info on the Google blog so that there will be Google 'spiders' as they are called for Google to pick up the search terms labels as...Childrens Eye PatchesChildrens Eye Patches for GlassesChidlrens eye patches approved by ophthalmologists everywhereBuy childrens eye patches from Big Mama and you will not only pay for our families Christmas, but go to heaven, receive eternal rewards, and have total redemption from on high...not to mention they rock and are totally affordableIs that enough 'spiders' for ya Google? Someone should Google it and see if it worked.I even did a page. They have been flying off the eBay shelves since I listed them awhile back. I make them out of my sewing scraps, so really the more lookers here, the less the eBay fees ya know!     *wink!*         *wink!*See if Google picks this up...Big Mama needs MedsBig Mama has too many children with not enough MedsBig Mama hopes that all these children give her eternal rewards in heaven where she enjoys total redemption from on high...I already get tons and tons of hits from terms like...fish and chipshandmade bib tutorialproject pee...(don't ask me why!! I think it's from potty training Kaylah)nursing apronsand I like to take this opportunity to put out a special thanks to Bristol Palin. She has brought amazing traffic to my blog! Especially during DWTS and any moments of highly publicized personal crises she may be enduring.  So is there any chance that somewhere out in the world there is a lady named Mrs Project Pee that is a breastfeeding nursing apron wearing mom sitting home watching old reruns of Bristol Palin on Dancing with the stars, thinking about making fish and chips for dinner after she makes handmade bibs from my tutorial; needs EYE PATCHES FOR EYEGLASSES IN CHILDREN? I would like to point out, that even though I have no idea where the Project Pee hits come from on my blog, I think it's totally cool that I was able to incorporate it into the above paragraph.   :-)Pick up my EYE PATCHES FOR CHILDREN'S GLASSES  please Google? ;-)*Hugs!*[...]



Lemon Sauce (For Lemon Chicken)

2011-04-29T21:55:51.372-07:00

1    Pkg.     Lemonade Cool-Aide

1 1/2 C.    Cold Water

1/2    C.    Lemon Juice

1/2     C.     Sugar

1/3    C.    Corn Starch

1        Lemon to juice and make zest

        Yellow Food coloring

Bring all ingredients to a boil. It will thicken and turn translucent. Then add a couple drops food coloring to brighten it up. Great for Chicken and Rice Topping.