Added By: Feedage Forager Feedage Grade B rated
Language: English
back  day  fire  friends  generation  husband  life  live  much  people  strange  thing  time  work  world  year  years 
Rate this Feed
Rate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feed
Rate this feed 1 starRate this feed 2 starRate this feed 3 starRate this feed 4 starRate this feed 5 star

Comments (0)

Feed Details and Statistics Feed Statistics



Updated: 2018-04-26T02:42:20.960-07:00


Spring And A New Cat


I just realized, after receiving a nice note from Good Cook, aka Linda, that I had not updated this blog since last August. Spring represents new beginnings, and since that is where I am in many ways, I thought it a good time for a post.

My husband passed September 27, 2017 at our home with my daughters and myself in attendance. To say it was a peaceful passing would be a lie, as I'm not sure there is such a thing, but with glioblastoma it could have been much worse. We made it through. He is safely on the other side.

After 36 years of marriage, I find myself alone for the first time since I was 27 years old. I was very different at 27. I was young and the world was before me.  My friend, Trish McGregor of Synchosecrets, read my chart sometime during the summer of 2017 saying it looked like the beginning of October as being a time when my life would open up in a big way. She was right. By the beginning of October, my life was a gaping wound that included any and all possibilities.

So, the first thing I did was get a kitten to keep me company. Inky is a brat but he is also sweet and warm with soft fur and the ability to soothe. There are many nights I'm grateful for his little beating heart next to me on the bed. (Not so grateful in the morning when he walks on my head at 5:30 a.m.) Lucy, our 13-yr old lab, is out on our property with my daughter and her husband. Happy as can be on 5.5 acres.

I was warned to not make big decisions during the first year as I may regret them. But not making moves is not my way of dealing with life. I know enough about how the brain works to know that staying in our condo in Portland by myself for long periods of time would not be healthy. Not for me, not for my children. So I sold our vacation home at Tahoe and will move back to my hometown. It was at Rich's memorial in Reno at the end of October, that I realized my friends, my siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins help fill that gaping wound left by Rich. We raised our family in Reno, and my husband worked over 25 years at the local power company. Our history is there.

My little home in a brand new 55+ community should be finished in July. I am in walking distance to an amazing jr. olympic size lap pool, beautiful clubhouse, workout center, and people moving in that are up for making friends and remaining active. 68 is the average age, so not much older than I am now. Pickleball seems to be a big draw, although I'm not sure how to play it. There is a full-time activity director and the calendar seems full. I can be as involved and active as I want, or can hang with family and old friends. Either way, it is time to move forward.

I know no other way.

Long Overdue Update


I just received a very nice comment from Susan from a post I wrote last November regarding my husband's illness. Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.

It has been a difficult year. My husband had a regrowth of his tumor in December and had a second surgery in January, followed by more radiation and chemotherapy. He has just not been able to recover much and is now on Hospice care, which we started last week as new tumor growth was detected behind his right eye. Inoperable.

Glioblastoma is unrelenting for some people, and others seem to do well with the standard of care, or keto diet, cannabis oil, etc. For my husband, nothing has worked and he is now well into the 12-15 months they give you at the start of this horror show. Any time from now on is a gift.

We've bought a beautiful property out in the country for a family compound and our younger daughter and her husband will live there permanently, with my older daughter and I visiting on weekends, summer, etc. For now, we have set up a first-floor room where he can look out the window at a beautiful scene and still be able to navigate to a downstairs bathroom. Our three story townhouse in the city is not navigable.

My life has taken a turn and I am now facing a future without the rock I have always depended on in hard times. I'm lucky to have wonderful family and some really great friends, but the one person, MY person, is slipping away.

I can only hope that the terrible diagnoses of GBM that Senator John McCain was just given will bring new energy to fighting this disease, because they have been using the same stuff to fight it for 40 years! But we continue to wage war, rebuild whole countries on our tax dollars, while we are still using the same standard of care for a quite-common brain cancer that is 100% fatal, sooner or later.

I will try to write and keep you updated, those of you still out there, and I send blessings to each and every one of you to give your significant other a big hug today. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

Heading Home


It has been a whole year since I've been to Tahoe.  It was October of last year that we left for Portland, intending to move more of our life to the city closest to our children. At that time I started an Intention Board (previous post) for a boat to keep in the San Juan Islands. Our intention was to sell Tahoe and take up a new adventure. Well, that didn't happen. We're actually quite grateful that we are not now worrying about how to take care of a boat as our life circumstances changed. Living in two places is difficult enough.

I look forward to seeing old friends, having lunches and dinners with people I've known most of my life. It's been hard going through what we have without the benefit of friends and family. We are lucky to have a couple of old friends in Portland full time, and a few friends that pass through when they are visiting their children that live here. But, for the most part, we depend on each other for social interaction. Great until one of you gets sick, and the other one needs use a shoulder to cry on, or a giant glass of wine over lunch. Our daughters are great, but they are dealing with their own issues with their father being sick. And they are busy with their own lives, which is how it should be.

So we're heading back to Nevada tomorrow. I look forward to the creek behind our condo and the smell of pine in the thin mountain air. Rich is feeling great and nearly back to his old self. He was unable to continue chemo because he just couldn't tolerate it. The doctor sent him home and told him to enjoy his life and bring back pictures. What this will mean in the long run is uncertain. But then, everything about this disease is uncertain. His tumor was unmethelated, which means the chemo was not going to be as effective, and since he literally quit eating and drinking for several weeks, it was clear he would not survive the "cure."

So we live in the moment, day by day. And tomorrow we're going home!

Glioblastoma IV


It has been some time since I've written here. I know my blogging friends have moved along, many no longer blogging themselves, but I have a renewed interest in writing my thoughts. Long gone are the days when I had nothing more to worry about than what would be an interesting topic for my blogging friends. Instead, I find myself caught up in life and death issues far sooner than ever expected.

My husband was diagnosed with Glioblastoma IV in May, 2016. After a surgery that removed the mass from the right side of his brain, he was left with radiation and chemotherapy. It has now been five months and we are no longer able to plan years ahead, instead we plan only weeks ahead.

Glioblastoma IV is essentially a death sentence. Only 3-5% of patients live longer than 12-15 months. Of course, like so many others, we intend to be in that 3-5%.

I've finally given into Facebook because they have several support groups for this unfortunate disease. I find myself hanging around the only people that understand just exactly what this disease is, and can do, to the people you love the most. It takes everything from the victim long before it takes their life.

So I may use this forum for myself. To vent, to cry, but more importantly to connect with my writing once again.

I have a feeling I'm going to need it.



Millennials are the generation born from the early 1980's to early 2000. My two daughters are Millennial. The largest and most diverse population in the United States, they came into adulthood after a protracted period of economic downturn. Unlike the way their baby-boom parents were raised, who often flourished in a  benign-neglect sort of way, they were focused on with intensity.They were raised to think about what they would want to do for the rest of their lives, not what job would help them to keep up with the Joneses. Their parents, on the other hand, did just that.One of the more interesting statistics to come out is that Millennials actually like their parents. This generation often chooses to live close to parents and families. 23% actually reside with parents now. One reason can be attributed to the job market, and corresponding downward pressure on salary and benefits, but not all of it. Millennials are close to their parents. They like and get along with them. Extended families are "in."They are an optimistic group, despite the myriad of problems they face. Shaped by technology, they share more easily than other generations. They are creative and work better in teams and groups. They are not religious. They tend to identify more as Seekers.  (Which is right up my alley, having always been one.) What is weird, is that they are less sexual - yes, you read that right. Despite all the sex we see on television, they are less sexually active. They are also marrying later in life.This group will fix our institutions, government, and infrastructure. They will redesign education.Why do I think they will accomplish all of these things? Because each successive generation deals with the problems (or solutions) of the previous generation. Once we finally get out of their way, both politically and in the job market, they'll go about their business. They'll work with Generation X, who tend to be no-nonsense task masters, and they'll figure it out.One word that continues to pop up in conversations with my Millennials, and may actually define their generation is sustainability. Unlike previous generations, they are less likely to own their own home, and they often prefer living in urban settings.So, they may live with us in our big houses now, but when they think about their own home, it is not a McMansion.[...]

Forty Years


(My husband and I with our lives stretched out before us.)

A few weeks ago a dear friend died, leaving his wife of 45-years and a young, vibrant family behind. He died way too soon. His funeral was last week. Attending were a myriad of people, bits and pieces of his life throughout his lifespan.

He and I met while I was still riding my bike around the block - around 13 years old. Throughout the years we shared many memories, a lifetime of laughs, and a few tears. We've been a part of different groups of people, corresponding to whatever our interests were at the time. But throughout, we have remained friends. Separate, but somehow together.

As I've mentioned, a diverse group of people attended the funeral, but none more interesting than the group we were friends with at the beginning. The ones we were friends with while on the cusp of early adulthood. I had not seen many of these people for 40+ years. We literally lost touch for the bulk of our lives. We went from young and hot (a euphemism used by several), to grandparents in a blink of an eye. The middle years somehow cut from the whole, leaving bookends, instead of chapters.

We caught up on marriages, children, illnesses, and gossip. Was there really some question about the gun used in our friend's suicide 25 years ago? Could her husband have been the culprit? How is your sister? Did she ever marry that guy you hated? Seriously? They want to remove your entire colon? You talked to my ex-husband last week? I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your daughter....

On and on we tried to fill in the blanks. To match the face in front of us to the face we remembered. The twenty-something that had life stretching out before them, with everything still to come, to the face that has had its share of pain, strife, struggle, and joy. Grandchildren. Comparing numbers, you could see the pride we all shared in our little ones. Most were close to their own children and had good relationships with extended family. A few struggled with substance-abuse issues and one or two actually found themselves in really bad circumstances at some point in their lives.

(My dearly-departed friend.)

One thing stood out. None of us were unscathed. We all had something that we endured that put a wrinkle here or worry-line there. I guess that's what life is about. Dealing with the curve balls as best we can and enjoying the small things that life has to offer. Like old friends catching up on the years, sharing stories about the ones that are no longer at the table.

He would have loved every minute of it.

I hate to say this, but I might have to do Facebook.

What Exactly Are Orbs?


I have noticed the subject of Orbs popping up with more frequency. What are Orbs? Are they living creatures? Are they people without bodies? Are they energy-sucking aliens? Are they angels? Or is there a more pedestrian explanation?Orbs can be multi-colored or white, and show up especially well with digital photography using a flash. Some think they are merely dust particles, or water droplets. Some think they are an energy signature or craft of a high-frequency being. Some people believe they are ghosts. I'm not sure what to believe.There is plenty of literature on the subject. In the film "Orbs: The Veil Is Lifting" on Gaiam TV, several guests shared their insight into the phenomenon. One theory that resonates with me is that we are multi-dimensional beings that have been in a trance-state that has us believing we are the center of the Universe. We are uneducated about other realms and other dimensions. We know very little about consciousness. Our ideas about the paranormal are shaped by Hollywood, not in-depth scientific study. All this may change, by the way, with the money and research being pumped into the field of transhumanism 'ala Google's Ray Kurzweil, and his seemingly unlimited resources. Not to mention the Obama Administration's $3 billion foray into mapping the brain. This research is bound to spill into the topic of consciousness.  Carlos Castaneda, when queried about inorganic beings:"They are possessors of consciousness but not possessors of an organism," Castaneda responded. "Why should awareness be the exclusive possession of organisms?"He talked of "flyers" feeding on mankind's awareness, reducing the sheen on our luminous eggs (a membrane surrounding us from the moment of birth, once thick, but much thinner as it is nibbled upon until there is only a mix of self-absorbed ego and mania.) Orbs show up throughout history in paintings and frescoes. They are often depicted with halos or as cherubs. It was suggested the wings were added because the orbs were flying. One photographer found that after taking hundreds of pictures of orbs, some of her pictures became mists that seemed to consist of millions of individual orbs. She believes this to be inter-dimensional art. Many have mandala-like designs, some have "faces", or look as though beings are inside of them. The Orb that seems to be haunting Nasa's Hall of Fame Museum is interesting: allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="" frameborder="0" height="266" src="" width="320">Very large multi-colored orbs have been reported by pilots, including President Obama's.Whatever they are, they seem to be very curious and comfortable around humans![...]

Our Already Militerized Police


The Obama Administration and the Department of Justice have decided to "crack down" on our increasingly militarized police force. Unfortunately, that ship has already sailed. The military has been feeding even the most obscure police departments tons of deadly military equipment for years. To now say that they can only buy these war toys with their own money is laughable, especially since local police, state troopers, and DEA agents have been confiscating money, cars, property, etc., through the seized-asset program to the tune of billions of dollars.In one instance, a highway patrolman confiscated a young man's $2,500 that his father had given him to start a business, because it might be "drug money." Other instances have brought attention to Nevada's cash grab. But it is not the only state doing this - 23 other states have laws allowing this to occur. Questionable search and seizure, overuse of stun guns, shooting unarmed black men in the back, militarized raids that kill and maim innocent babies, dogs, and anything else that gets in their way. This is not the America my forefathers fought and died for. This is fascism.I wrote about this back in 2011. It is now 2015 and the Department of Justice is just now putting some restrictions on this issue? I say too little, too late. And by design.I honestly do not blame Texas for being watchful and suspicious of the multi-state military exercise going down this summer and lasting over three months. Jade Helm 15 may not be anything more than what it says it is - military training for its elite. It may not be a conspiracy to acclimate American citizens to a military presence, but with everything else going on - can they blame us for being paranoid?Obama signed into law in the NDAA of 2012 that anyone, anywhere in the world, can be taken right off the street, held without due process, indefinitely. He assured us this would not happen to us. It was just a precaution, not something he would ever use against us.Yeah, right.And before you start to blame one political party over another, realize that is also by design. Keep us occupied fighting and arguing with one another over things like same-sex marriage, abortion, liberal and conservative labels, food stamps and welfare, while they continue their work for the multi-national corporations. Just this week they authorized a foreign country to drill in the Arctic. We're supposed to be assured nothing untoward could happen in the wild Arctic similar to the BP oil spill that devasted the Gulf of Mexico. I say SHELL NO!Republican or Democrat - just two sides of the same coin.[...]

What's On Your Intention Board?


My husband and I are at a crossroads. He retired about a year ago and spent the last year adjusting to a much slower pace. He's not rising at 5:00 a.m. to go running, now it's 8:00 and he's had a couple cups of coffee. Many afternoons include a nap, reading novels, watching netflix, playing with the dog.

However, like most people who have worked challenging careers and suddenly find themselves free to do whatever they want to do, he's getting BORED. He wants a new challenge, something that requires him to stretch his mental muscles.

I'm with him on this. I've been waiting a long time for him to retire so we could play.

So the home at Tahoe is going on the market, and we've decided to buy a boat. (We've been highly encouraged in this endeavor, both by friends that have their boat in Anacortes, and by this beautiful blog.)

The kids are grown, educated, gone. Our responsibilities to our family are few. Maybe it's time to indulge ourselves, maybe even take some chances. We're healthy enough for one last adventure, one more roll of the dice.

We recently visited Anacortes, WA after my husband helped crew a 61 foot trawler from San Francisco to Anacortes with three other men; two of which he had worked with for over 25 years at one point in his career. All were now retired.

I drove with one of the wives to meet them, only to fall in love with this area of Washington. The San Juan Islands are a group of islands in the northwest corner of the United States. Part of the state of Washington, they lie between the United States and Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. They consist of about 428 islands at high tide, with ferry service to four. You could spend years and never visit all of the little inlets and coves of these islands.

The beauty of this land is infused with the smell of water. Rivers, streams, lakes and ocean. Add the gigantic forests, and you have a feast for the senses.

We're ready to meet like-minded people, talk boat-talk, teach ourselves and our grandson about navigation, piloting, engines, maintenance, fishing, and crabbing. Take some awesome hikes (at a breathable sea level), visit some quaint little towns, eat clam chowder and be grateful for every minute of it.

I'll keep you updated on our little adventure and I would love to hear about yours.

What's on your intention board?

Near Death Experiences Are No Longer Woo Woo


For many of my readers over the years the near death experience is something that they take for granted. They may have done their own research, or maybe it was a knowing that was passed down through generations or through their religious training. But for many, it has always been in the realm of woo woo. Not to be taken seriously. Certainly not something that one could absolutely count on. But things are changing. We have a wealth of new information that may very soon dispel the notion that there is nothing after death.Meet Dr. Jeffrey Long, who was a recent guest on Coast to Coast. Dr. Long, in his spare time from being an oncology radiologist, has been researching the Near Death Experience and cataloging over 4,000 cases from all over the world. His site uses 20 different languages, and he has very generously posted all of the information on his website. Like researchers before him, such as Dr. Raymond Moody, Dr. Ian Stevenson, and even Emanuel Swedenborg, he has come to believe that there is no longer any doubt that life, in some sense, continues after death. In fact, the evidence has never been stronger.It doesn't matter where you live, NDEs are all very much the same. A typical one would begin with the life-threatening event. They then leave their body and travel through a dark tunnel emerging into bright (unearthly) light which often has surreal colors. (Many of the colors do not have earthly names.) They often see people, buildings, and feel totally pain-free. Sometimes the people are loved ones that are joyous to see them, and they feel intense feelings of love and connection. They may then have a life review, free of judgement, at which point they may have a one-on-one with a higher being that discusses in detail what the goals and objectives were for that lifetime. Did you fulfill your life purpose? Did you work through the issues you intended?Almost everyone returns with the knowledge that the number one goal is learning to love. That life is purposeful. We're here to learn humility, compassion, and that our life is a gift. People who came back from suicide attempts did not do it again, realizing that was not the answer.I will go into more detail, including some of the not-so-nice near death experiences in one of the chapters of my book, but if you're wondering - play nice - it's the best way to avoid one of those that are frightening. Fear, hate, anger, jealousy, are all emotions to avoid.58% received mystical experience about the importance of LOVE24% considered themselves compassionate before their experience - 74% afterSome came back with psychic abilities.Some had increased levels of EQ (emotional intelligence) and were able to intuit non-verbal cues better than before.None were afraid to die again.I think it is time to take this information out of the woo woo and realize we now have so much scientific evidence that points to an afterlife. Wouldn't it change everything if we realized that each individual on earth is dearly loved? One not more important than another? Each on their own path, often playing a part for others to learn by - even the bad guys?[...]

Synchronicity and The Bad Back


A few months ago my daughter called and said she had a conference in Disney World and would we like to join her there to take our grandson around Disney and Universal Studios while she worked? We readily agreed as it had been on my bucket list to take him sometime after he turned eight. He is only seven and a half, but we felt that was close enough as his mother already had a room, airfare for herself, etc. In other words, it was a good time as part of the trip was already paid. So I made a pact with myself to walk and swim at least five times a week for the next two months to be in good shape for all the walking we would be doing for three days. (I was coming from a good place - lots of beach walking and swimming three to four days a week.) Well, to make a long story short, I didn’t do a thing! We arrived back home at Lake Tahoe and after living at sea level for six months, I struggled to adjust to the altitude of 6500 feet. (A doctor later told me it takes two months.) So that accounted for at least several weeks of not wanting to work out, but then the weather changed and was warmer and the excuses began to fade. We then started a low-carb diet and that took a week or so to adjust, or so I told myself. So bottom line - I didn’t do a darn thing to prepare for Disney for two months and the day was arriving fast.My clothes were lying on the bed ready to go into the suitcase, all the necessary fast-passes arranged at Disney, and a host of very expensive tickets purchased. Two days before we were to leave my back began to spasm! And when I say spasm - it was unlike anything I have ever experienced! Off to the ER the day before we left - with me taking little old person steps into the building. Nothing to do - cold compresses, pain meds, don’t do anything that hurts, was his only recommendation. You mean like riding Splash Mountain? Sitting on a plane for 7 or so hours? Rushing to catch a close connection in Phoenix, a notoriously large airport?Needless to say, the suitcase left without my clothes or me. My husband met our grandson in Orlando for three days of fun and sun. They walked 12 miles the first day, 10 miles the second day, and on the third they lost count. I would have slowed them down without the “training” in all probability, but without it I would have been exhausted.On the day my husband returned, my back was back to almost normal. A day after that it was perfect. This from being flat on my back in bed the whole time he was gone. The Universe was letting me know if I wanted to be able to keep up and have fun at the ripe old age of 61 - I’d better quit with the excuses and exercise every day. As soon as I said I’d learned my lesson - no more excuses - my back was fine. I missed the trip, but I learned a valuable lesson. There are no coincidences, only subtle and not so subtle nudges.[...]



Trish MacGregor posted about this book on her blog a few weeks ago. If a noted author likes a book - I take notice. I immediately downloaded it for the unbelievable price of just $2.99. I think it has gone up to around $5 -  which is still a good price.

E-Squared by Pam Grout is a simple read, just over 150 pages. Her style is easy and funny, often self deprecating, yet genius in its simplicity. It is about everything I have tried to convey on this blog and so much more. (I'm a bit jealous, actually.)

I've highlighted a couple of excerpts:

"If we simply devote our minds to feeling rich, to being grateful for all the already-apparent riches in our lives - say, our families and our wonderful friends - being broke would disappear. We only experience it because we devote our thoughts to it. That's how powerful our minds are."

"Open your mind and clear it of all thoughts that would deceive."

"The universe is limitless, abundant, and strangely accommodating."

"You impact the field and draw from it according to your beliefs and expectations."

She proves this by having you do your own experiments. Each chapter has a way for you to prove to yourself what she is conveying.

Amazon had almost 700 reviews for this book and all of them were close to five stars. I'm not sure I've seen that for any book that I've purchased so far.

So do your self a favor and at least check it out.

Comet Ison


Comet Ison is heading our way. It will be passing Mars on or near October 1st, and will be visible in the sky sometime in November.Should we be keeping an eye on Ison?Sweeper effects happen with large objects passing through our solar system. This effect simply means asteroids, meteors, or comets that have big dust clouds push things out of their way as they come through. These objects could include space junk, which is an unbelievable problem, believe it or not.This comet was only discovered in September of 2012, yet it is very bright, probably because it is spewing gas and dust from a fairly large nucleus. (The nucleus on this comet is also rather strange.)NASA states that it will fly by the sun on November 28, 2013, and if it survives, it could be visible during daylight hours and shine as brightly as the moon.Could this look like two suns?The reason I ask this question is because of the work of the late Zacharia Stitchin and others that believe we are on an elongated, elliptical, orbit with a 12th planet called Nibiru. It comes around about every 3,600 years. He bases these claims on ancient Sumerian text. I won't go into the pros and cons of his work other than to say he believed when Nibiru returned it would look as though we have two suns.Now, here is the interesting part. People are seeing colored balls of light all over the world. Many report balls of fire, or balls of red or pink lights, some have a green trail - some are moving fast like meteors and some are moving slow like UFOs. Many people are reporting increased military helicopters near these sightings. In fact, a law was passed that prohibits anyone from picking up pieces of meteors or other space debris that hits on federal land. In some instances it can be worth millions of dollars. Could this be why military helicopters are being seen in these areas?There is a planned drill of our electrical grid in November. There is also talk of increased FEMA activity on the East Coast - all the way to Puerto Rico. Additional supplies have been ordered to be shipped no later than October 1st. Of course, this might not be related at all - maybe just a coincidence. But the fact the Air Force has shut down its program to monitor objects in our orbit seems rather coincidental as well. They say it is because of sequestration. Maybe so, but what about the person who was trying to come forward on the Clyde Lewis show who states all of her electronics were destroyed when she tried to call into his program as a whistleblower? She sounded terrified on last night's program. She stated Puerto Rico is seeing increased troop activity, strange skies - almost like a filter over half of the sky, strange weather, she said FEMA has extended rumor control in the area, and information to the US mainland is being filtered. People on the island are having very strange dreams about fire - catastrophic fire - hundreds of them, including soldiers. One little boy, who is autistic, drew a picture of the island being bombarded with balls of fire. She said people there are expecting some kind of extraterrestrial event, possibly the tip of the comet hitting the island or the ocean, causing a tsunami. One caller stated he lived on the island his entire life and had never seen such activity.A doctor came on the program to back up what she was saying, and also discussed strange viruses and bacteria that have been found recently on the island. This immediately brought to mind Linda Moulton Howe's update on Dreamland regarding strange elk and deer die-offs in Montana and New Mexico.And then there is Amauri Rivera who states he was abducted in 1988, and his story seems to dovetail with this story.Her final advice?  Don't panic, but be prepared f[...]



I know I've mentioned Gaiam TV in past posts, namely because Regina Meridith moved her site to Gaiam over a year ago. At first I was not sure I wanted to pay $9.95 per month for a website, but Regina's Conscious Media Network moved my membership over to Gaiam, so I thought I might as well check it out. I have never been sorry. I admit to paying for several sites - mostly interviews with interesting people - Veritas, Red Ice, Coast to Coast, Dreamland, etc., but if I'm looking to find something that is cutting edge and forward-thinking - I go to Gaiam.

Three new programs will added next week - one with Daniel Pinchbeck - "focusing on the future of civilization, technology, spirituality and the emerging new paradigm for humanity." The other two programs are also timely - one with Regina Meridith having to do with strange phenomena, of which we have plenty of at the moment. The other has to do with maintaining our health, which should be at the top of everyone's list.

David Wilcock teaches "Law of One" and other interesting topics on his Wisdom Teachings which airs every Monday. George Noory of Coast to Coast also has a program; Beyond Belief.

The site also features Yoga, movies, and much more.

It's not always easy to find places that are forward thinking and uplifting at the same time. Gaiam TV does a good job of both.

Sacred Symbols


Some time ago I found a website that creates sacred symbol jewelry. Since that time I have acquired several pieces that represent my feelings about life and the universe. One necklace that I wear often is the Vesica Pisces. In short its meaning is "I am becoming what I am becoming." In other words, we are in a constant state of evolution, which is a basic tenet of my understanding of the universe.I also have The Flower of Life pendant which consists of 13 spheres which holds many mathematical and geometric laws. These laws represent the whole universe and people often report physical and psychological changes while wearing this shape.I wear the Light Pendant when I'm feeling the world is overwhelming me in negativity. It represents unity, wisdom, giving, and love.When my daughter and her friend graduated college and started applying for teaching positions during a time of unprecedented teacher layoffs, I gave them the Abundance Pendent. Both have jobs teaching. My daughter landed a full-time position teaching in a city that was her first choice. She is teaching in a school that has given her full-time support and a small special education class load for her first year of teaching! She couldn't be happier. The website states "Its not what we have but what we enjoy that constitutes our abundance."Ka Gold Jewelry (not all gold, of course) recently sent me an email with their latest design based on Buckminster Fuller, one of my all-time heroes. It is going on my wish list. The Sphere of Consciousness "is intended to increase our sense of connectedness and unity. Awake our consciousness to the universe and our role in it."I have found this site to be safe and secure and the people that run it to be professional and honest. So next time you feel like looking for something meaningful check out Ka Gold Jewelry. It takes a few weeks to get your design, as David often makes the piece when he receives the order. It ships from Israel, so plan ahead.Enjoy![...]



We have had a devastating fire season this year. The West has burned as never before. The fire in Yosemite created so much smoke in Lake Tahoe, that it was literally hard to see the mountains.We lost 19 firefighters in Colorado. The Yosemite fire burned over 200,000 acres.Unbelievable loss.Nightline did a segment on planes that are used for fighting these fires. Did you know that they are so old they were used in the Korean War? Did you know they often crash - two last year, and one that literally lost its wings before crashing this year? The fleet has actually shrunk from 45 to just 11 planes. At one point this summer we had over 250 forest fires burning out of control.The drought over the last ten years has created millions of acres burned, thousands of homes destroyed, and 200 dead firefighters.A Forest Service report discussing the replacement of this aging fleet was first discussed in 2002! This is 2013 and absolutely nothing as been done.Six air tankers were ordered the day the 19 firefighters died. None showed up. Not one. They were literally left on their own. It is unknown if they would have survived with air support, but one thing is for sure - we will never know.I live at Lake Tahoe. Some argue that we get what we deserve if we live in the forest - after all, it's good for the forest to burn on occasion. I don't disagree. But the clarity of Lake Tahoe is seriously threatened with every fire that has run off. This lake is a national treasure. I hope the next generation and many more after that will have the pleasure of looking at  its clear blue water.So while we watch our natural resources burn, our politicians in Washington continue to debate yet another war. Estimates range in the trillions to maintain the 1,000 military bases the United States has around the world. Yet we have only 11 Korean War-era bombers equipped to fight fires in the United States.There is something really wrong with this picture. [...]

Stop Whining and Get To Work!


My daughter sent me this piece on Generation Y and why they are so unhappy. I thought it quite accurate and found myself taking full responsibility for encouraging our two girls to follow their dreams. (And maybe of convincing them they are special.) Of course, this was before the banking cartel tanked our economy and the Supreme Court decided to declare corporations people, thus allowing the tidal wave of money lobbyists use to buy support for their clients. This was before unions were busted in order to lower the wages for all workers by people like the Koch brothers.No, in those days we Baby Boomers had great hope for the future. We followed the rules, worked hard, and saved for our children's educations. We believed in our government and our military to do the right thing for everyone involved. (This was before we realized the CIA and all of the other alphabet agencies had actually been tanking whole countries to ensure their corporate handlers had free access to said countries natural resources - but that is another post.)The part that got my goat, actually, was all of the comments following the article that wanted to blame Boomers for their bleak economic outlook. Many of the comments actually told us to move on - quit working - retire, already! They need our jobs and believe us to be selfish in holding on when it is clear to them we are to blame for all of their troubles.So here is my response to them -Boomers are not working to irritate your generation. We are working because we have to work! Many have lost their homes, their savings, and any hope of being able to pass anything on to the next generation.Boomers are working because they need health care and can not afford to pay out-of-pocket. One major illness and many of us are on the street.Boomers are working to help their children, grandchildren, and other family members.Boomers are working so they don't have to move in with their children!While my generation has to take responsibility for voting in Clinton, who was the first to ship our jobs overseas and to do away with Glass-Steagall, which opened the door to the banking debacle, we truly believed in the load of garbage they sold us. We may have been perplexed how sending our jobs out of the country could actually help us -  but we still believed in our elected officials knowing more than we did about the world.Same with Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, et al. We bought all of their lies, even though we were uneasy. Two wars later, we are bankrupt, in debt, and starting to smell a rat...Not so with Obama. We can now see that the NSA spying on everything we do, warmongering in the Middle East, the NDAA, and the Monsanto Protection Act cannot be considered in our best interest. To say I am disappointed in a president, that I voted for twice, is an understatement. But he hasn't done this alone - Congress has passed every single one of those policies.This last week made one thing clear, however - nothing will change unless we change it. And quite frankly, it's time for the X and Y generation to turn off their cell phones, take a break from Facebook and Twitter and get involved in the process. The future is in your hands. Call your representatives in Washington, email your President, email your Secretary of State. Start petitions and sign ones that come your way that try to reign in the evil doers that are in control. Boomers can't do it without you. And there is one thing Congress understands - voters willing to make a change in the next election cycle.All of their numbers are right here.So, stop whining and get to work![...]



Well, after a sabbatical to spend time reading and researching, I think it's time to hone my writing skills and say hello. Thanks to all of you that left messages for me. I appreciate the thought that there are people who read what I have to say and value the information I try to pass along.

The world is changing so fast, and there is so much going on that it's hard to know what is right, what is wrong, what is real, and what is not. This blog attempts to bring things to light. My hope is that together we can begin to see patterns in our environment that will bring us closer to understanding our mercurial world events.

This last week has been a busy one for me. I've manned the phone calling all of my representatives in Washington, the Secretary of State, and even emailed the President. And while everything seems to be spinning faster and faster, there is one thing I know for sure; we are WAKING UP. We are waking up on a global scale. No longer are we sitting in our rocking chairs feeling we have no power to change things. We were game changers this week. We said NO to war. We said NO to killing more innocent people in Syria in trying to right a wrong. We sent a clear message to our elected officials that we would no longer sit on the side lines while they made life and death decisions for us. The whole world said NO. That is huge. That is really huge. We gave diplomacy a chance.

Congrats world. Whatever your belief, you voiced it.

Something Strange Going On


I recently found Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis, which is a radio talk show program out of Portland, Oregon. Our children live in Portland and we plan on retiring there, so I was curious. I have only listened to one segment, 3/22/13, but on this segment he mentioned that the birds are sounding different. Sick sounding. Many callers called in saying the same thing. Some felt it was the chem trails that I posted on last time, others felt it was other reasons, but all agreed that the birds and animals were acting very strange. One caller said he was driving and noticed about ten cars pulled over on the side of the road in Maine - they were looking at about 40 deer just standing next to the road - not at all afraid of the cars or the people. He said they were crossing the road in packs of ten.We all know about the dolphins and whales that are beaching themselves and huge bird and fish die offs, but something really strange happened to me the other day. I was sitting in my upstairs window and noticed a mountain lion right next to the stream below my home! A half hour later a bear ambled down the same way to the stream and crossed over behind us! You have to understand, we do live in the mountains, but in a community of homes. Bears are not unheard of, certainly, and we have seen them before - but never a mountain lion! In fact, my father who was a big outdoorsman once mentioned that he had never seen a mountain lion in all his years in Nevada. To have both of these animals cross over within a half hour is very, very unusual. Something else that was very strange happened a few months ago. There was several feet of snow on the ground and a Great Blue Heron landed on the stream, and after several minutes, caught a fish! It then walked up the bank and around the end of the unit of condos that we live in! I have never seen such a bird! And in the middle of the winter at 6,500 ft.? It came back a few weeks later but I didn't see it in time before opening our slider to let our dog out, and it flew off.Strange, strange stuff going on in the animal world.[...]

A Favorite Interview!


I posted on this a few years ago, but Dr. Kashonia just sent it to me again and as I was listening to it, I knew I needed to repost the link. I have listened to hundreds of interviews over the last couple of years but this is one of my absolute favorites! Unfortunately, Dr. Harper passed away just 36 hours after giving this interview so we no longer have his brilliant mind on this planet. If you have the time, and need something that is uplifting and educational, then this is the interview for you.

From Dr. Kashonia's email to me:

Dr John Jay Harper was a futurist, body-mind-spirit research scientist, public-speaker, and writer.

He was a graduate of the American Institute of Hypnotherapy; California College for Health Sciences; and Central Washington University; a veteran of the U.S. Army; a retired computer specialist; electronics engineer; and senior mental health counselor with the Department of Defense.

Prior to his sudden and very sad death, John was an international talk show guest and seminar leader speaking to the purpose of the galaxy-sun-earth pole shift alignment process in era-2012 and its impact on the evolution of human consciousness.
He authored the book Transformers: Shamans of the 21st century, and was one of the most passionate speakers I've heard in a long time.

John believed that our task at this time is to become "shape-shifting shamans ...; to master trance techniques of telepathy and travel at will into the outer reaches of inner space - The Fifth Dimension".

A Higher Vibration


I am finding it difficult this month to remain positive. We have been bombarded with chem trails and it has not only affected my health, but has made me so sad for what they are doing to our planet. Geo-engineering is alive and well. I live in a very beautiful place and to see those awful chemicals going into Lake Tahoe has lowered my energy and made me feel sad, fearful, and angry. I know these emotions are bad for me. But trying to raise my vibration has been difficult.

Just as I was in the deepest despair, after reading an article on the possible extinction of wild elephants, I clicked on Lilou's interview with Inelia Benz. I have been receiving email notifications from her but have been busy doing other things and haven't read them. Was the Universe trying to get my attention and I was ignoring it? At any rate, this video was exactly what I needed. It was toward the end of the interview that I felt she was talking directly to me.

I feel so much better.

We are not alone. We have helpers all around us, we just can't see them.

allowFullScreen='true' webkitallowfullscreen='true' mozallowfullscreen='true' width='320' height='266' src='' FRAMEBORDER='0' />


17 Seconds


I watched an incredible interview on Gaiam TV the other day with Regina Merideth - you may remember her from Conscious Media Network.

Anyway, this one was with Jeff Fannin of the Center for Cognitive Enhancement. His group has unearthed some fascinating new research in brainmapping and neurofeedback. The gist of which is that it is now possible to see the frequency of our thoughts in real time. This opens up the possibility of actually being able to change the function of our brain. Through the quantitative EEG, researchers are able to actually see different colors of different frequencies in the brain. For instance, when a person is being a certain way - courageous, duplicitous, deceptive, etc, certain parts of the brain fire up. This can now be mapped in real time. We can actually see the effects of our thoughts on our brains!

So what does this mean? It means that there is a very real possibility that we can tune our brains and change certain things in our lives simply by learning to control our thought processes. It is their assertion that the brain is actually a tuning device for the energy field that we interact with. One of the most basic laws of physics is that like attracts like. In fact it takes just 17 seconds of thinking to start attracting energy that is similar. Just 17 seconds! 68 seconds puts us on a path of familiarity. We've talked about these mind loops here before. So we literally have 17 seconds to change a negative thought into a positive one if we don't want to start attracting negative energy, and just 68 seconds before our brains create a familiar neural pathway.

75% of our thoughts are negative. This is normal because we actually learn what we want by determining what we don't want. The amgydala (a small almond shape deep in the brain related to emotion) is designed to get us out of the way of danger. But if it over fires because we are constantly watching, reading, hearing, scary things - we become fearful. The media is designed to give us negative news because that is what we want - because it is familiar to us.

This may be a good way of bridging science and spirituality. By resonating at a higher frequency we may actually be able to evolve. This is what my book is about and I am so excited to come across this research. By understanding that our thoughts have different frequencies, we can choose the higher ones.

Remember, you have just 17 seconds to change your thought processes if it is negative. If you are mad, it is a good idea to just drop it. Don't replay it to your significant other, don't think about how angry you are, don't tell your friends about it. Just move on. Otherwise in 68 seconds that anger is familiar.

And we always go back to the familiar.

Thoughts & Emotions


One of the the most profound findings in the research I've done for my book is the understanding of how we create our world. Thoughts+Emotions = Creation. It is that simple.

In the book I go into much more detail, but suffice to say, the physics behind this seemingly simple explanation is not so simple, but that does not change the fact. When we engage our heart, through emotion, our thoughts begin to organize and create. That is why it is so important to learn to control your thinking. Especially the thoughts that bring forth emotion. As Seth says - whatever you concentrate on will be what you manifest. (Some day I need to get back to the Seth book and postings.)

For now, go here for a great post on synchronicity and the creative process.

God-Given Talents


About twenty-four years ago I had just reached my goal of being able to swim a mile (36 laps) without stopping. I was quite pleased with myself and was feeling great. Then one day, as I was blow drying my hair, I noticed I could not hear the same on both sides, but it was only noticeable with the high whine of the blow dryer. Some of you know that was when I was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma on the brain stem side, and I would be forever changed.

But that's not what this post is about.

I have not swam laps for all of these years. I don't know why. I guess it just brought back bad memories. Or maybe I didn't think I would have stamina in the pool any longer. Regardless, I decided that since we spend quite a bit of time in Hawaii on a regular basis, I had absolutely no business in the ocean unless I could swim some distance. You just never know when that skill will come in handy.

We started swimming laps, my husband and I, sometime in November. The first time in the pool I could only go about 9 laps with numerous stops. (The 6,500 feet of altitude didn't help.) The second time I could go further but still needed to stop. By the third time in the pool I could swim close to half a mile without stopping. Now I'm up to 20 laps and well on my way to a full mile.

My point?

I think everyone has some form of exercise that just comes more easily to them. For me, it is swimming. For others it is running, or biking, or lifting weights. We're born doing some things more easily than others. My husband is a great skier - I have always been a hazard on the slopes. He is also a good runner and goes miles with our dog. I, on the other hand, used to "jog" only 1 mile and I knew exactly where to turn around so that I didn't go beyond that one mile marker. However, we were sharing a lane in the pool the other day and I powered right past him. (It's the only physical thing I have ever been better at than he is.)

Our older daughter does Bikram Yoga - you know, the yoga with HEAT. Honestly, I cannot think of anything worse. Doing yoga and being really hot and sweaty is my idea of HELL. Our younger daughter used to be outside-mid for her high school soccer team - with asthma. She just plowed right past all of her limitations and ran - in a most aggressive style, I might add. I can't think of anything worse - people kicking my legs while I'm running as fast as I can??

So whatever comes easy to you is probably your God-given talent. Whether it is exercise or work related, if you want to find your path then look no further than whatever you can do with the least amount of  resistance. That doesn't mean you don't have to work at it - it just means it's easier, and more fun. That is part of this Shift of Ages. Learning to pay attention to our God-given gifts. Feeling into what works for us.

And having fun doing it.

2013 - Year of Community


Every once in a while I come across someone's work that expresses exactly what I believe is happening in our world at a particular time. This beautiful video by Lee Harris on 2013 is one of those times


allowFullScreen='true' webkitallowfullscreen='true' mozallowfullscreen='true' width='320' height='266' src='' FRAMEBORDER='0' />