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Preview: Comments on Du Wax Loolu: Wedding registries are killing me.

Comments on Du Wax Loolu: Wedding registries are killing me.





Updated: 2017-08-22T03:55:27.398-06:00

 



I have just found your blog and so am a late poste...

2007-10-23T14:32:00.000-06:00

I have just found your blog and so am a late poster. BUT. I just got married 6 months ago, so I have hindsight, and: Register at Bed Bath and Beyond, at least. Because: They have the best return policy. It's like someone else said, even just register for a bunch of stuff you don't want, if you want, and then take it all back and get something "big." You'll also get lots of gift cards. Trust me. Also, they have tons of china, which had been the reason I did NOT register there... had I known they had such a good china selection, I would have.

Macy's was good to me too. If you don't want a new set of dishes, here are my suggestions: luggage, nice towels, fancy electronic kitchen gadgets... think of stuff you'd never buy yourself but that you like. The best gift I got from BBB was a cutting board with a little tray/cup thing at one end... a "prep and chop" board. Genius.



I had friends who found themselves in a similar pr...

2007-10-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

I had friends who found themselves in a similar predicament when they got engaged. Their solution: they asked their friends to donate the money they would have spent on a gift to one of five charities the bride and groom had chosen. They did a little registering since they knew they'd have guest who just insisted on bringing a physical gift, but most of their friends made contributions in their name to organizations that reflected the values of my friends.

Seems like a nice compromise...

Good luck!



I agree with Target... that's a very sensible plac...

2007-10-13T17:12:00.000-06:00

I agree with Target... that's a very sensible place to register and who doesn't love Target? btw- something I've found completely annoying: couples registering for dvd's and cd's (and lots of them). This happened to 2 weddings I was invited to. Yes, they were young couples, but don't look to your guests to buy you the entire series of Friends. But I guess that's just my opinion. Good luck!



I think I would then NOT REGISTER. Just let peopl...

2007-10-13T09:39:00.000-06:00

I think I would then NOT REGISTER. Just let people get you what they want to get you.

Or. I TOTALLY don't condone what I am about to mention, and in fact I think it's icky. But it does solve the problem. One of my friends registered on purpose for a whole lot of stuff she didn't need--and then returned it all for the cash. This plan lets you register for the things people like to buy for wedding presents (towels and dishes and pots and pans, rather than stereo systems and toys), but lets you take out of it the cash, which is what you actually want. This idea makes my soul shudder, though.



We lived together for a few years before we got ma...

2007-10-12T22:34:00.000-06:00

We lived together for a few years before we got married, so we were sort of in the same boat. However, for whatever reason, I never want to buy electronic things/giftcards for people's weddings, or to just write a check. I always want to give something that seems more...useful and wedding present-ish. Something that I've thought a lot about, you know? I got sort of weirded out by a cousin's registry that had DVD's and video games on it, is what I'm trying to say. So I got them a kettle instead. (I'm not very fun, I guess. But I know they loved the kettle.)

So! Anyway! We ended up registering at Target, because Target = love. We registered for two sorts of things: items that we had but were crappy and needed to be replaced, and items that we wanted really badly but could never quite justify buying. We got things like nice pans, to replace our old crappy rusted pans. And nice new glasses, to replace our old cheap hard-water-stained glasses. Etc. It was nice to replace a lot of the old things, and I didn't feel like we were getting things we didn't need. Also, on Target you can say you would also like gift cards, and we got a lot of those, which were really useful for buying items on the registry that didn't get purchased.

The end!



i had a friend...that was kinda in your situation....

2007-10-12T17:01:00.000-06:00

i had a friend...that was kinda in your situation.. she had everything she wanted/needed...so...in lieu of a registry asked that donations be made to the susan g koman foundation..as she had lost her mother to breast cancer and the grooms mother had recently been diagnosed with it as well.. i thought that was soo elegant of them..id much rather donate to worthy cause then give them a $100 pot that they dont want or need...
and oh yeah..best wishes!!
xoxo



Target, target target. My brother got pretty much ...

2007-10-12T11:16:00.000-06:00

Target, target target. My brother got pretty much everything off his registry there, and way less from their department store registry. And if you don't want it, that's a good place to return things for store credit, b/c you can always use money at target. Hell, you could buy toilet paper.

And before/after your wedding, have a huge yard sale. If you're going to upgrade, with a little cleaning out, you'd be surprised how much money you can make. For that house fund, of course.



See that's the dilemma of wedding registries -- ap...

2007-10-12T08:59:00.000-06:00

See that's the dilemma of wedding registries -- approached the wrong way, they can come across as nothing but "gift grabs." That sense is worse when you don't even ask for gifts, but look for money instead. The theory is your friends and family are there to provide you love and support, not be your ATMs for your honeymoon or house payment.

Yeah, it's hard to register if you have most of the stuff you already need -- but many times people want guidance on what to get that won't offend the sensibilities. Target and BBB are great places because you can pick practical stuff which you will actually use.



I wish i had some kind of advice, but i'm not quit...

2007-10-12T08:36:00.000-06:00

I wish i had some kind of advice, but i'm not quite there yet. My cousin is getting married and has had some trouble with her registry, too. When you already have your life set up and don't live with your parents, it makes it hard.

I always thought registering for gifts would be so much fun...



First of all, I have to echo most of the other pos...

2007-10-11T21:39:00.000-06:00

First of all, I have to echo most of the other posts - Target and BB&B are huge favorites around here too, although I'm not sure how international-friendly either is.

The Knot has some pretty good articles on registering...they talk about what banana mentioned - having a selection in all different price ranges - 0-75, 75-150 and 150+, or something like that. That way, there are things for all types of gift buyers.

The one thing I would watch out for in regards to registering for a honeymoon or something is that a lot of those places charge a fee for every gift. So instead of the $50 someone wanted to give you, they either have to spend like $55.74 or you get $46.26...or something like that. You might be better off having your parents/wedding party be aware that you would prefer money to help you purchase furniture, or make a down payment on a house. But I would still have a registry - some people just love to buy "stuff." They want to wrap something up and have something for you to actually open.

Wow....long comment. Sorry! I'll stop now.



We registered at BBB and Target. My favorite gift...

2007-10-11T20:45:00.000-06:00

We registered at BBB and Target. My favorite gifts were some nice sets of sheets from BBB. We already had a lot of stuff, so we used registering as a chance to get nicer things that would last us a lifetime, as opposed to the cheapo stuff and hand-me-downs we had at the time.



Registering is stressful. It just is. It's overw...

2007-10-11T20:03:00.000-06:00

Registering is stressful. It just is. It's overwhelming, and it's too many decisions, and it's too much second-guessing.

How about registering at a store that has furniture you like, and then you can take the stuff that came with gift receipts back and exchange them for a higher-end gift?

Sometimes people include a few higher-end items in case people want to pool their money to buy something bigger. But I'd probably look askance if the registry was filled with all kinds of $500+ items.



Dude, I want to get married SOLELY for a pasta mak...

2007-10-11T19:15:00.000-06:00

Dude, I want to get married SOLELY for a pasta maker and ice cream maker. Register for things you want, but would never buy for yourself. And do it at Target. Everyone loves Target.



I see your dilemma here. When I got married BR an...

2007-10-11T18:50:00.000-06:00

I see your dilemma here. When I got married BR and I had both been living alone for several years so really we had everything we needed. It's still fun to register though, even if you are replacing items or upgrading, because there is some sentimental value to stuff that "you got as a wedding gift".

Also, tell us what you register for!



Yay! Weddings! I LOVE weddings. I'm a free lance...

2007-10-11T17:21:00.000-06:00

Yay! Weddings! I LOVE weddings. I'm a free lance wedding planner and I can tell you the following:

1. It's good to register for stuff at all price levels. Some people want to spend $300, while others only want to spend $50.
2. The "donate money to our honeymoon/new house" trend in loo of registering is really catching on and may not offend as many people as you think. Some even prefer it because then they can just write one handy little check and hand it over - much easier than deciding which item to purchase. Especially if you dedicate it to something specific like a house or a honeymoon.
3. For people who may be offended by the money donation problem, Macy's, Target and Bed Bath and Beyond all have very central locations and a variety of price points and items.
4. You can register for anything you want!! It's your wedding. Keep remembering that it's your wedding and your friends and family love you and would want you to be happy.
5. This comment is stupidly long.
6. I'm such a know-it-all, jeez!



Oh, this is one of many reasons why I never want a...

2007-10-11T13:58:00.000-06:00

Oh, this is one of many reasons why I never want a wedding. Bleh.

Good luck to you, I say.

If I did ever dive into this, I'd want to register for $1,000 All-Clad cookware and a $500 Dyson vacuum. But I'd never list such expensive stuff because I'd feel really snobbish and spoiled, especially to my family. So, I guess I'd be in a real pickle, too.

I am no help to you!

Maybe register for quality stuff that you'd like to have last. Like, say, a really good iron? I don't know...



You've illustrated exactly why we are not register...

2007-10-11T13:55:00.000-06:00

You've illustrated exactly why we are not registering.



Bed Bath and Beyond and Target are the ones I see ...

2007-10-11T13:47:00.000-06:00

Bed Bath and Beyond and Target are the ones I see people registered for most often. Since you're not looking for fine china, Target would be fine, and you can get lots of useful stuff!