Subscribe: Comments on Rants by Ronni: What's In Store?
http://ronnisrants.blogspot.com/feeds/529474770817702142/comments/default
Added By: Feedage Forager Feedage Grade B rated
Language: English
Tags:
christina  comment  depression  email  felt mattered  felt  good  jim  life  might mentioned  ronni  thing  things didn  things  thinking  wasn 
Rate this Feed
Rate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feed
Rate this feed 1 starRate this feed 2 starRate this feed 3 starRate this feed 4 starRate this feed 5 star

Comments (0)

Feed Details and Statistics Feed Statistics
Preview: Comments on Rants by Ronni: What's In Store?

Comments on Rants by Ronni: What's In Store?





Updated: 2017-10-11T09:04:26.956-05:00

 



I felt like nothing I did for him mattered.That's ...

2007-10-10T08:52:00.000-05:00

I felt like nothing I did for him mattered.

That's exactly how I feel. Nothing I ever did was good enough.



Ronni, I think I might have mentioned this in the ...

2007-10-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

Ronni, I think I might have mentioned this in the kitchen, but I wanted to reiterate this thought. Jim's suicide left me particularly numb, not only because of my love for you but also because (as you know) my husband has suffered from depression for years. I just kept thinking, WOW this could be my story.

No one would know this in his life but me. He always puts on his happy game face when he leaves our house.

Even though we have made many home improvements over the years (at my suggestion and lead) and have a savings account, retirement accounts, and on paper look like the all American successful couple, Bob was depressed.

A year ago, Bob said something to me about him not having anything to be happy about. I looked at him in amazement and said, "What are you talking about?!? We are physically healthy, own our home, have lucritive jobs, healthy retirement accounts, great families, etc., etc., etc.

I believe it was at this point I finally realized how deep his depression was.

Only through therapy, and my threatening divorce if he didn't go with me were we both able to understand the depth of his depression. He felt like he wasn't good enough and could never please me. I felt like nothing I did for him mattered.

I'm rambling again, so I'll wrap this up. Depression is a serious illness. If Jim wouldn't get medical help for his physical ailments and was in denial about his depression, there wasn't a damn thing you could have done that would have made ANY difference.

It is the most helpless feeling, next to having your spouse take their life.

I'm thinking of you, always.



Forgive me for still being so angry that this has ...

2007-10-10T02:52:00.000-05:00

Forgive me for still being so angry that this has happened to you, Ronni.

I don't think making a comment in this section will bring you any comfort. You are such a great person who has been put through the mill, so to speak. As a human being, you have all the right qualities.

I think, keeping yourself busy, is a good thing.

I only have admiration for you....



Christina, I removed the comment with your email a...

2007-10-09T21:22:00.000-05:00

Christina, I removed the comment with your email address in it. Thanks so much...



Hi Ronni,Can you please email me. I have something...

2007-10-09T16:54:00.000-05:00

Hi Ronni,
Can you please email me. I have something that I can send to Jasmine. I will let you know what it is on the email.

Christina



I should have been more clear. By things, I didn't...

2007-10-09T14:19:00.000-05:00

I should have been more clear. By things, I didn't mean material things.

He'll send peace of mind(eventually) and opportunities to find happiness. It's crazy but that's what I think.

No one wants to linger. People who are thinking normally monitor their health to lessen the chances of that. He wasn't operating logically.

I am so impressed with the way you are coping with the hand you were dealt.



The only thing I ever wanted him to provide was hi...

2007-10-09T13:33:00.000-05:00

The only thing I ever wanted him to provide was himself.

Kinda SOL on that one, aren't I?

I know what you mean, though. He probably would have killed himself eventually, unless he died suddenly from natural causes. He did not want to "linger."

I just thought he would go to a doctor first...



Ronni,If someone is determined to commit suicide, ...

2007-10-09T12:34:00.000-05:00

Ronni,

If someone is determined to commit suicide, he/she will find a way no matter what. Jim may not have done it on that day, but he would have.

If I may say so,thinking that you could have done something to prevent it is part of trying to gain control. If anything, all of the work you are doing proves things were not impossible. Jim could have done it except for the fact that he wasn't thinking rationally or normally.

You are a widow with all the sadness that accompanies that. Even in the most bitter of divorces, each party has his/her say. You were robbed of that.

Jim's spirit is still around and I think that from his other plane, he is going to send good things that he couldn't provide in this life.