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Preview: Comments on Blissfully Bitchy: Oh for the love of PETE

Comments on Blissfully Bitchy: Oh for the love of PETE

Updated: 2012-12-10T22:33:24.061-05:00


Amy, I am sorry you do not agree with La Leche. I...


Amy, I am sorry you do not agree with La Leche. I do not know who spoke at the national conference that so upset you (the link does not work), but I can assure you that the mothers I know in our local Detroit group do not support the things you listed.

I was just about where TripMom is when I sought help from LLL for BFing my son. Beaumont's Lactation consultants did not work on weekends, when we were in the hospital and needed them. So I was sent home with formula and no direction.

I never dreamt, in a million years, I would join LLL. "Breast Nazis" was drilled into my head. But I was desperate and it turned out to be the best thing I could have done.

I would have given up without the support of the local LLL group (many times). I urge mothers to seek out local groups for help and not avoid them because of "lacativist" or "nazi" labels that are tossed about. Meet the women who try to make a difference and make your own judgments.

HUGE RUN-ON SENTENCE ALERT: pnutsmama made me cry...


HUGE RUN-ON SENTENCE ALERT: pnutsmama made me cry. OK, I am only 3 1/2 weeks postpartum, and yes I have nursed my lovely daughter ALL DAY and yes, I do think my nipples are going to fall off at any minute and yes I am wondering if this is worth it and maybe we would all be better off if I just cracked open those formula sample cans I got in the mail for some reason and yes, I am wondering if I will ever sleep again without something sucking on me the whole time. And, yes, I wish there was a group of people who I could talk to about it. People who won't say, "Oh just give it up and give her formula" or people who won't think I am terrible mother for even contemplating this idea. Thank you, Amy, for showing that there is sanity in being in the middle.

"(big boobs, short waist, and a squirmy and very d...


"(big boobs, short waist, and a squirmy and very distractible baby add up to more potential embarassment than I care to face)"

I think I love you, where have you been all my life.... You rock!

i agree with mike's comment -- it's rare that i EV...


i agree with mike's comment -- it's rare that i EVER see this perspective, and i'm glad i did.

did someone just say "It's like "Hands across Amer...


did someone just say "It's like "Hands across America," only with boobs." and correct me if i am wrong, but would that be boobs across america?

Great post - totally cracked me up. Support or har...


Great post - totally cracked me up. Support or harassment for nursing in public seems rediculous for something that is entirely natural. I can't believe people get bent out of shape because an infant is being nursed. It's sad that support HAS to even be generated for this. Who gives an eff if someone looks at you wierdly for breastfeeding? I was really glad I made it to 15 months, but I took my son's cues and we discontinued a little at a time - very easy.

Have a wonderful day!

Awww... It's like "Hands across America," only wit...


Awww... It's like "Hands across America," only with boobs. And it's international.
Thanks for this post. Your thoughts and the comments of your readers are thought provoking.
I too would enjoy more support of breastfeeding (shut up mother in law) but I don't think this event is going to promote that support.
Ironically, I am hoping to be done weaning during International Breastfeeding month. I hope that this comment doesn't earn me a personal visit from a guerilla lactivist in camouflage.
Also, thanks for helping me remember my dream from 2 nights ago. It's provided today's blog entry.

Holy shit, dude. You rock. You just said it and ...


Holy shit, dude. You rock. You just said it and I passed it on to all of my other 'sisters'. I am not a mom, but A-freaking-MEN! I have seen way to many women struggle, beat themselves up, all because of the La Leche-ists. It really makes me sad. I will give it a shot, but I will not defeat myself if it doesn't work for me. (my mother and sister cannot do it, some argue that that is bs, but whatever). Your writing is all to often a BIG breath of fresh air for me and this post is a perfect example of that. Thanks, Amy.

I read your whole entry, and am still wondering wh...


I read your whole entry, and am still wondering who is Pete?

i agree with 99% percent of this (tone and all!), ...


i agree with 99% percent of this (tone and all!), the only point i waver on is close to what theresa mentions. i'm not sure i agree exactly with your last sentence, either, in the sense that i don't feel that the average mom feels actual *support* for breastfeeding in 2007. i certainly didn't, and most moms i know who bf'ed didn't either, by the majority of people they ran across, and mainstream society in general. just b/c bf'ing gets a lot of attention these days, doesn't to me equal support. even in a metro area like NYC it was hard to find a place to bf with some type of privacy. most people asked "are you *still* nursing?" instead of assuming that you are, regardless. i got tons of formula coupons in the mail, and i always had to remind my ped that pnut needed to be on the ebf %ile charts. i think you and i are in the percentage of contemporary moms who are very connected to the information currently available on the benefits of breastfeeding, but lots and lots of moms (and the rest of the world) are not.but that's not even the important support. i believe that the important support for moms in general, but especially for moms who bf touches on the issues you bring up- better maternity leave policies, mandatory pumping rooms, continual support groups (not just filled up with the sanctimommies and crunchymamas) and laws that protect the right of nursing moms in general. we don't do a whole lot to support women once they leave the hospital- and especially those weeks and weeks afterwards when it gets really tough. i don't mean the whole "i'm a bfing martyr" thing, either, just some gd validation. and forget about if you are poor, single, come from a culture that doesn't support bf'ing, etc.we in america are horrendous when we expect the average woman to return to work 6-8 weeks post partum. i remember 6-infinity weeks post partum, if anyone had asked my sleep-deprived ass to do anything besides wander helplessly back to the couch to feed that kid again i would have failed miserably. how could i have gone back to work? impossible. i have so much respect for moms who pump at work. i pumped a very measly 5 oz a day for out of the house time (which had to be consumed that day or else my lipase would turn it nasty! whee!)- that never would have kept a baby alive for 10+ hours a day. some days my husband would come home to me crying on the couch and thank me for keeping myself and our daughter alive one more day. think of all the moms who don't get that kind of support from even one person.i can understand why women give up bfing so quickly- that's the support i mean, support for each other- being honest with each other (oh, you never get to sleep? especially at night? you feel like death is a reasonable option right about now? how goddamned hard it is, how lonely you feel, tips to get you through the days and nights that seem they will never end. wanting to give the one bottle of formula, that you know will just be the beginning of that slippery slope. just. to get. some sleep. yet you don't ever give the formula lest YOU FAIL. sigh.(and not the tip "oh, have dad give a bottle of warmed breastmilk in the middle of the night" b/c really? i have to wake up my husband as the baby screams right next to him? then wait for him to heat up water, warm a bottle of refrigerated milk in said heated water as the baby screams? and wait? and wait? (as baby and now he is screaming?) and then watch worked up baby reject the bottle b/c oh, she's really pissed now and doesn't want that stupid thing when the fresh stuff is right over there trying get more than 2+ hours of sleep at a time? guess how many times we tried that again.)that's the support i think moms are still in desperate need for, amy. yet i agree with you that i'm not sure doing a 24 hour nurseathon wi[...]

Amen, sister. I think that sometimes the issue is ...


Amen, sister. I think that sometimes the issue is not the issue for people with a cause, and I definitely feel this way about lactivists. They seem so focused on what other women are doing (or not doing) that it makes me think that they are deeply insecure about their own parenting.

You know I love you but I think you are way off ba...


You know I love you but I think you are way off base with that last sentence (and the general tone of this post).

"There are a lot of real problems facing mothers --sufficient support for breastfeeding isn't one of them."

I couldn't disagree more. Women ARE harassed for nursing in public, breastfeeding relationships ARE sabotaged by too short or non-existent maternity leave, women ARE given horrible inaccurate information by doctors and nurses and other people who should be helping them. LLL has been at the forefront of working to change all these things. If you had help from a lactation consultant in the hospital, you have lactivists to thank. Without them, formula would be pushed even more strongly than it is. They have also worked very hard to get laws passed to protect the right to nurse in public and to take pumping breaks at work.

As for the "Comic" Mom incident, LLL is guilty of not doing their homework. When they were made aware of the issues surrounding this woman they cancelled her appearance.

Are there obnoxious lactivists? Sure. But there are just as many people who say "breastfeeding? Ew." or harass women who are feeding their babies in public. Rudeness is rudeness regardless of the agenda of the person committing it.

amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen


amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen

It's not very often I run across a thoughtful -- a...


It's not very often I run across a thoughtful -- and funny -- breastfeeding post, but I'm really glad I just did.

Mike at Cry It Out!