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Preview: Comments on Veronika Sophia Robinson: Attachment Parents ~ BEWARE of Aware Parenting

Comments on Veronika Sophia Robinson: Attachment Parents ~ BEWARE of Aware Parenting





Updated: 2017-04-01T05:12:53.892-07:00

 



I just did a search for aware parenting and found ...

2008-04-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

I just did a search for aware parenting and found your blog, so I know that this is old, but have you read her books? A lot of the things you are saying, she does not promote. Aware parenting is about first meeting the needs of your child. She advocates breastfeeding on demand, shared sleep, cranial-sacral therapy, and whatever else.

Are there not times when you just need a good cry? Why are children any different? When a child really needs to cry, and we tell them they don't, that does cause problems.

I would much rather listen to someone who has raised two children (Aletha), than someone who has none (Jean), or an expert like Harvey (Happiest Baby fame) who says in public that mothers aren't needed for babies, that fathers are better parents.

Aware parenting ideas are very nurturing. They are instinctual to mothers who have done their own work on expressing their feelings. Life is about getting through the rough spots and finding ourselves whole. Why not help our babies learn that they can get through them in a supported, loving way?

I did not use aware parenting with my first two children. I used the normal AP ideas, and was very crunchy. Wow, it was so hard! I used Aware parenting with my last two children, and wow, it was hard as well, but I felt so much more assured that I was a good mother! When my kids cried, and nothing else would help, I could just hold them and love them. I focused in on them, and really tried to see the world through their eyes. I talked with them if it was needed. I connected to them.

Nursing was so much more enjoyable as they got older (1 year plus), because they nursed only when they needed to (for comfort and for food), and I never had all night nursing sessions that I had with my older two children (and if we realistically look at, we know becomes more habit that need).

Please don't disregard these ideas because at first they sound contrary to what you may have been doing. They may just be helpful and nurturing, and just what a mother needed to keep parenting in the best way that she can. They may help with her own healing, and make her a better mother.

Read the books, and then talk to people who have used these ideas to see how they implement them.



Thank you for writing this. This has been my gut s...

2007-07-13T05:38:00.000-07:00

Thank you for writing this. This has been my gut sense all along and why I was never willing to actually read her work. Three trusted friends fell into the trap of gushing about her work and I still wasn't willing to let it in to my life because it feels so wrong. Thank you!



Sorry - a PS on that site I mentioned:From their '...

2007-07-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry - a PS on that site I mentioned:
From their 'principles' page:

"Staylistening -
The adult stays close to a child who is shedding emotions through crying, tantrums or trembling and raging. The adult listens and allows the child to express the feelings of hurt that have skewed his judgment. When the child is finished, he can feel the caring the adult has offered, and he can relax, learn, and play well again."
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/about/parenting-by-connection.html



I've been encountering this quite a bit and it def...

2007-07-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

I've been encountering this quite a bit and it definitely makes me feel uncomfortable, though it isn't always easy to express why. Arguments can be persuasive when they don't state their dubious premises...

I was recently discussing this article with a friend http://www.handinhandparenting.org/csArticles/articles/000000/000041.htm

Reading between the lines on this site they seem to be quite keen on the child crying to express tensions. I would be interested to hear what you thought about this in relation to toddlers and small children. It definitely gets my hackles up a bit.

Sarah (but a different one!)



such a 'relief' to find The Mother community....al...

2007-07-02T03:23:00.000-07:00

such a 'relief' to find The Mother community....although I was uplast night for 5 hours with my non-stop crying son, which was so hard. No amount of comfort, cuddles,suckling helped. Still, I know I was doing all I could...only once did I let my daughter 'cry' at the advice of another, and never again. Now I seek out likeminded mothers to befriend (yay, lots where I live!) and don't engage in conversation with the Babywisers...but I still don't get it - why are the attachment parents seen as the 'radical' ones - and why are the other books such best sellers??!! (Perhaps you can ponder this and BLOG it Veronika!. To me it's a no-brainer. Surely even Supernanny would have to concede that poor parenting (unruly kids et al) is about the parents not the children



hi Sarah ~ you can nag my publisher about when the...

2007-06-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

hi Sarah ~ you can nag my publisher about when the book's due out...hopefully available during the summer. Love, Veronika



I love this post - you've put into words all the r...

2007-06-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

I love this post - you've put into words all the reasons why I feel instinctively uncomfortable when people say that babies 'need' to cry or that they don't 'need' to comfort nurse. There is nothing natural about ignoring one of the only ways your baby has of speaking to you and making excuses for parenting practices which go against what a baby, who needs to be loved, loved, loved and loved again, is deeply saddening and I'm glad someone's stood up and said it.

When is your book out? It sounds right up my street!

Sarah