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Comments on FemaleCSGradStudent: Dottie Dog and the Get Along Gang





Updated: 2016-04-08T03:58:55.379-07:00

 



I actually have a couple posts about this that I'm...

2007-03-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

I actually have a couple posts about this that I'm going to put up for the next carnival- it's been such a huge problem in my lab too. I call it the 'stags-in-mating-season' style of interaction.

Of course I don't know if any of these things will work in your environment, but since you asked, there are a few things I do to not get steamrollered:
-I actually talk in a louder but deeper voice than I otherwise would.
-When people interrupt me I interrupt them back and say something mildly mean, like "Excuse me, I'm not finished" or "Would you like to hear what I'm saying?" and then go back into what I was saying.
-I cut people off if they're being jerks. I say 'That's not what I asked.' And so on. I feel mean, but it's effective.
-I try to avoid any phrases that convey, for lack of a better word, vulnerability. I almost never start with "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me".
-Sometimes it helps to ask very specific questions, if possible: Do you see X under these conditions? Could Y be going on, and if not, why not?
-I stand up for my data. (Which it sounds like you do wonderfully!) I say all the time (because all the time, I get 'I don't believe that'), "I have this evidence, I have this evidence, I did this control, and the data show that X. Next question."

None of this keeps it from being miserable, though.



It seems like what you're talking about is more to...

2007-03-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

It seems like what you're talking about is more tone than substance. So in a very material way, there are changes you could make in the way you prepare to speak when you make a comment -- like taking a few deep breaths to make sure you're supporting your voice from your diaphragm. That at least will keep you from sounding yippy, and probably also help with the frustration.

But the broader question is one I am really familiar with. How to interact with others in a situation where the power differential is unclear, or where you're trying to stake a claim to territory. I'm also still struggling with that myself...



I wish I had advice for you... But I guess I sorta...

2007-03-01T06:44:00.000-08:00

I wish I had advice for you... But I guess I sorta look at you like a big dog where I'm the little dog, who runs away scared with its tail between its legs.

I was also thing, when my dog sees your dog, do you think he wish he was a big dog like her?