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The Bloggess

Last Build Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2018 10:32:42 +0000


Giants are terrible cooksthebloggess

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 17:57:57 +0000

me: You know how giants always say, “I’ll grind your bones to make my bread”?  Who makes bread out of bones?  If you’re going to eat a person it seems like that should be a meat dish.  Unless maybe the … Continue reading

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Scariest movie ever.thebloggess

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 18:10:02 +0000

Today is Monday but it’s Sunday here because I was in Vegas (more on that later) so I missed the Sunday wrap-up so congratulations – it’s Sunday again!  Go home and binge watch something. ****** I took H to see … Continue reading

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I mean, it’s so, so accurate.thebloggess

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 21:35:05 +0000

Have you used Electric Literature’s automatic male novelist description generator to see how a male author would describe you?  Because it’s quite awesome. Here’s mine: “She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to correct her.” Nailed it.

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The funniest book you ever readthebloggess

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 17:14:43 +0000

I’m up and down this week but I’m trying to stay up because I have work to do and I need to keep myself from falling into the hole of depression.  One of the things that save me are books. … Continue reading

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Who run the world? SQUIRREL.thebloggess

Mon, 09 Apr 2018 18:02:10 +0000

me: LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL. Victor: WTF.  I’m on a conference call. me:  I’m thinking of calling her Daenerys TAILgaryen.  Because she has a tail. Victor: That’s terrible. me:  Marmot of Dragons. Victor:  I’m literally working here. me: … Continue reading

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Confession: I don’t understand the tiny blood bucketthebloggess

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 18:02:02 +0000

My friend Maile sent me a text in the middle of the night and it reminded me how important it is to have friends who get you and who also don’t understand some of the basic principals of being a … Continue reading

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Tue, 03 Apr 2018 00:35:16 +0000

My doctor refused to give me lasers in my vagina.  Click here for full story. It occurred to me just now that I may have used poor phrasing in the description of this moment.  

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Crowdsourcing how to be a good parent.thebloggess

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 18:42:55 +0000

Disclaimer: This isn’t a funny post.  I just need advice if you have a middle schooler. So Hailey got invited to take the ACT as a 7th grader and she did really well on the English part (WHOOP!) so the … Continue reading

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