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Preview: Red Sox Yip Dawg!

Red Sox Yip Dawg!



Cracking down on the Boston Red Sox superstars, until they leave town. Email the Yip Dawg at Bandwagonboy@hotmail.com



Updated: 2012-04-12T18:47:08.635-04:00

 




2004-06-22T16:38:40.506-04:00

HERE'S A THRILL, THE BEANS I WILL SPILL: SCHILL THE SHILL TO TAKE THE HILL SO TAKE A CHILL PILL

As I predicted, the flipflopper Curt Schilling will make his next start tonight. Despite the denials and predictions that he would miss his start from many unreliable, unsourced, attention lusting wannabe-blogs, Yip Dawg had it right-- Schilling will start tonight. It's a done deal. IF SCHILLING DOESN'T MAKE HIS START TONIGHT AS I PREDICTED THEN THIS WEB SITE WILL GO DARK. There, how's that for putting my credibility on the line? How do you like them apples all you jealous haters who live to bait me? Where ar eyou now? YIPYIPYIPYIP!!!!!!!!!!





2004-06-18T17:18:17.656-04:00

NOMAH HATES YOU BOSTON!!!!!

California Gar-see-ya-later-parra in his latest thin skinned tirade goes off on everyone in New England. What a shock. Like it's our fault this slacker goldbricked in Pawtucket too long, claiming he wasn't ready, when he was really sticking it to the fans? And then he comes back and stinks out the joint, what a sack of you know what. Too worried about his fat contract is what I say. Why can't this guy take a cue from the Gamer Nixon, who hurried back from his tragic injury and played almost as soon as the California Diva? Some guys are gritty grimy Gamers, and then you have the pampered loafers from California who hate it here. How could anyone hate it here? Gamer Nixon probably loves it here, and you can just tell that Clutch Tek loves it here too, even though he never says so. He doesn't have to, just look at his big muscles and dirty uniform and crew cut. That's a MAN'S MAN. Clutch Tek is a man's man, and Gar-see-ya-later-parra should try to be more like him, instead of worrying about his contract. YIPYIPYIP!!!!!!





2004-06-18T17:11:31.216-04:00

SCHILLING FLIP-FLOPS ON MISSING START CONTROVERSY!!!!!


My sources tell me that Media Whore Curt Schilling will now MAKE his next start, flip-flopping more than John Kerry in a Chinese Acrobat show. Schilling was reported to be MISSING his next start, but now he's apparently chosen to sideswipe the local media-- AKA the voice of the FANS-- and go to some message board to announce his flip-flop. Typical. Good thing the Yip Dawg was all over this from the start, breaking the story and covering this whole Issue like Kevin Millar on a bucket of KFC! Schilling needs to get down off his high horse and stop baiting the media. Is he starting, is he not-- what a diva! It's hard to believe this guy even has a regular name! Anyway, the point is, you can count on THE YIP DAWG to be in the middle of every swirling controversy that affects your Red Sox! That's why I'm almost part of the real media now! YIPYIPYIP!!!!!




2004-06-18T17:02:57.086-04:00

SCHILLING TO MISS START; LIES ABOUT IT


Hola amigos, long time no see! Yipyipyipyip!!!!

I am BACK baby, and I've got another hot scoop: Former Hero Curt Schilling will MISS his next start! That's right, he's too injured to pitch and will miss his start, you heard it here first. My unassailable unnamed sources in the clubhouse tell me that it's 100% a DONE DEAL that Schilling will miss this start. Take it to the bank. I dont care if Schilling himself telsl you that he's going to pitch. If he says that he's lying. I will SHUT DOWN THIS SITE IF SCHILLING MAKES HIS NEXT SCHEDULED START. How do you like them apples?




2004-02-02T18:25:43.420-05:00

HEROES!!! The Patriots are HEROES. They won it all, and they did so because of their heart, character and media-friendliness. Do you think John Kasay's kickoff would have gone out of bounds if Diva Pedro was back there returning the kick? No! He was obviously terrified of the Pats' heart and character, so he kicked it out of bounds.

Do you think a malcontent like California Gar-see-ya-later-parra would have been able to kick that field goal like At'em Moneytieri did? No! He's never kicked a field goal in his life, except for when he played high school football. Because he's too SCARED of the pressure! I bet.

And what about New York Manny, don't you just hate that guy? Anyway, the point is, the Patriots are champions again, ending the one-year drought. One year, compared to the Red Sox and their 86-year drought without a championship. (86 years, 1986... BILL BUCKNER!!!!!!) One is less than 86. Much, much less.

So you see, heart and character and media-friendly-hood is what it is all about. The Patriots are a team with no stars, just nice guys who deserve to win. The Red Sox have some heroic dirt dogs with regular names, who are foiled by their famous superstar teammates.

Did you notice that for the past two weeks, many Patriots have done interviews with various reporters? You think they were forced to do that or something? No, it's just part of their heart and character, and true love for each and every person in New England. Yet where have Diva Pedro, Manny Malingerer and Nosemar been? Have you read any quotes from them? That's what I thought. Typical. The Pats wanted to win for US, the fans. They probably won't even cash their winner's checks. I bet they might probably all donate every penny to the Jimmy Fund. Will the Red Sox donate their Super Bowl checks to the Jimmy Fund? Of course not, not a one of them ever has. Draw your own conclusions from those FACTS, pal.

The Pats winning it all again is a clear lesson for the Red Sox and Red Sox fans. Even though they are different teams playing totally different sports, their home stadiums are less than 45 miles apart, so they must be compared. So I will be spending the next few months comparing and especially CONTRASTING the CHAMPION Patriots with the LOSER Red Sox, so everyone can see what losers the Red Sox superstars are. I really have nothing better to do , so get ready for a lot of contrasting!

Yip Yip Yip!!!!







2004-02-02T18:22:38.496-05:00

HEROES!!! The Patriots are HEROES. They won it all, and they did so because of their heart, character and media-friendliness. Do you think John Kasay's kikcoff would have gone out of bounds if Diva Pedro was back there returning the kick? No! Do you think a malcontent like California Gar-see-ya-later-parra would have been able to kick that field goal like At'em Moneytieri did? No! What about New York Manny, don't you just hate that guy? Anyway, the point is, the Patriots are champions again, ending the one-year drought. One year, compared to the Red Sox and their 86-year drought without a championship. (86 years, 1986... BILL BUCKNER!!!!!!) One is less than 86. Much, much less. So you see, heart and character and media-friendly-hood is what it is all about. The Patriots are a team with no stars, just nice guys who deserve to win. The Red Sox have some heroic dirt dogs with regular names, who are foiled by their famous superstar teammates. Did you notice that for the past two weeks, many Patriots have done interviews with various reporters? You think they were forced to do that or something? No, it's just part of their heart and character, and true love for each and every person in New England. Yet where have Diva Pedro, Manny Malingerer and Nosemar been? Have you read any quotes from them? That's what I thought. Typical. The Pats wanted to win for US, the fans. They probably won't even cash their winner's checks. I bet they might probably all donate every penny to the Jimmy Fund. Will the Red Sox donate their Super Bowl checks to the Jimmy Fund? Of course not, not a one of them ever has. Draw your own conclusions from those FACTS, pal.

The Pats winning it all again is a clear lesson for the Red Sox and Red Sox fans. Even though they are different playing totally different sports, they must be compared. So I will be spending the next few months comparing and especially CONTRASTING the CHAMPION Patriots with the LOSER Red Sox, so everyone can see what losers the Red Sox superstars are. I really have nothing better to do , so get ready for a lot of contrasting!

Yip Yip Yip!!!!







2004-01-27T15:04:33.280-05:00

Yipyipyip!!!!! The Dawg is BACK baby!!!!

I am so pumped and jacked for the Super Bowl, I can't stop drooling! It's so great to see a local team do well, why can't those idiot Red Sox ever win in the playoffs? I'll tell you why, it's because their stars don't talk to the press. Look at Tom Brady, talks to the press, goes to two Super Bowls in three years! Prima Donna Pedro? Doesn't talk to the press, NEVER goes to the World Series. That is called a FACT, and facts don't lie. Here's another FACT: I am so sick of Pedro and Nomar and Manny. Get them gone!! Thank god we've finally got a normal American superstar, Mr. Curt Schilling. Schilling has a lot in common with Brady: they both look normal and have regular names and talk to the press and they WIN! Except for last year. I LOVE Curt Schilling! And I LOVE Tom Brady! It's so great to be filled with love for these guys.

This is the song I sing in the shower every day:
"It's the story
of a man named Brady
who was winning Super Bowls every year
The Patriots work all together
that's why New England cheers.

I pray one day the Sox will dump that Manny
And I know that it is much more than a hunch.
That this team will somehow win a title
That's the day they'll become the Brady Bunch.

The Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch!
That's the way they'll become the Brady Bunch!"

Get it! That's the theme song to the Brady Bunch, and Tom Brady's last name is Brady! So it's funny AND true.

On the eve of the Super Bowl, the one big question that is on everyone's mind right now is this: why can't the Red Sox get more fan-friendly players like Tom Brady, so that they will finally win it all? Brady looks like I want to look, not like some foreigner from the Caribbean. He has a normal name and a nice haircut, is that too much to ask! I guess so, since the Diva and his henchmen Manny Malingerer and California Garciaparra can't seem to manage it. God I hate them!! The thought of them making millions and not talking to me is ruining my Super Bowl! Damn it make the trade NOW, get A-Rod in here, at least he has ONE normal name. And he looks regular with short hair and piercing blue eyes, not some big weird foreign nose. I am wearing my Red Sox A-Rod jersey and my Tom Brady hat right now, and I am burning a Manny Ramirez baseball card in the ashtray as I type this, and damn it feels great! Only 5 more days until the Pats complete their mission of teaching those bastard Red Sox how to win a CHAMPIONSHIP!! YES!!! THANK GOD FOR TOM BRADY AND THE BRADY BUNCH!!!! IN YOUR FACES PEDRO AND NOSEMAR AND MANNY!!! THE BRADY BUNCH!!!!!!





2004-01-20T16:04:41.796-05:00

1/20/04, 4:03 PM: I can't stop thinking about this A-Rod trade!! I am so pumped and jacked that I am going to take a bus to NY city tonight to try to find A-Rod or Henry or Hicks or Selig or anyone connected with this deal and order them to make it happen NOW!! Who is with me? Let's get a caravan of millions of members of Yip Dawg Nation to drive to NY tonight to DEMAND that this trade happen NOW! They can't stop us and they can't deny our demands! Who is with me! Yip Dawg Nation will arise!!!!!!!




2004-01-20T14:43:51.780-05:00

I AM BACK!!!!! YIPYIPYIP!!!!!!

The Yip dawg is BACK!!! So much has happened since my blog went dark last summer (I swore to pull the plug on this site when Manny the Loafer wasn't traded by the deadline. But now I see that it doesn't really matter if you keep your word or not, because it's more important to have a website out there that's not afraid to attack famous athletes and savagely criticise them for anything and everything. Because they are lying hypocrites!!!!)

Anyway, on to the latest news!!

Talks to Resume this Weekend
01/20/04, 1:19pm: Allston Community Radio's Bruce Levangie is now saying that talks on the Manny-for-A-Rod trade heated up this past week and John Henry and Tom Hicks' manservants either met last weekend or will meet this coming weekend or met last month or will meet later next month or not. My sources tell me A-Rod was bending Bud Selig's ear about the trade at Sammy Sosa's bar-mitzvah in Tel-Aviv, and is pressing hard for the deal, using a combination of physical intimidation, vague threats and teary-eyed pleading. And so therefore it's clear that this deal is GOING to happen!!! It's alive!! I told you so!! So buy your A-rod Red Sox jersey now while you still can before mlb.com goes into cover-up mode and erases the evidence that this deal is 100% definitely going to happen!

Ha ha this is the greatest day of my life, the Sox are so close to ridding this town of Manny's reign of terror I'm literally drooling as I type this. So long, you overpaid, Dominican, NY-raised malcontent and welcome Alex Rodriguez! I love A-Rod and his steely blue eyes and the way he looks in that tight uniform!! I can't wait until he's actually here and leading us to the glory that he's brought every city he's ever played for! I would NEVER turn on this guy, trust me! He's a great shortstop and doesn't spend his time talking, just playing at a superstar level, and I would never attack anyone like that!

Nomar, get your bus ticket, because you're the next one out of town! Hopefully Pedro will follow. Because neither one is a leader! Get it!! God this is so exciting, I can't believe I actually ran a highly-paid athlete out of Boston!! I am so powerful now it is amazing!! It is happening because of ME ME ME!!!

A-ROD WILL BE HERE IT IS A 100% DONE DEAL!!! If this trade doesn't happen by midnight tonight, this blog will go dark! Honest, this time I mean it!!





2004-01-20T14:41:52.983-05:00

I AM BACK!!!!! YIPYIPYIP!!!!!!

The Yip dawg is BACK!!! So much has happened since my blog went dark last summer (I swore to pull the plug on this site when Manny the Loafer wasn't traded by the deadline. But now I see that it doesn't really matter if you keep your word or not, because it's more important to have a website out there that's not afraid to attack famous athletes and savagely criticise them for anything and everything. Because they are lying hypocrites!!!!)

Anyway, on to the latest news!!

Talks to Resume this Weekend
1:20:04, 1:17pm: Allston Community Radio's Bruce Levangie is now saying that talks on the Manny-for-A-Rod trade heated up this past week and John Henry and Tom Hicks either met last weekend or will meet this coming weekend or met last month or will meet later next month or not. My sources tell me A-Rod was bending Bud Selig's ear about the trade at Sammy Sosa's bar-mitzvah in Tel-Aviv, and is pressing hard for the deal, using a combination of physical intimidation, vague threats and teary-eyed pleading. And so it's clear that this deal is GOING to happen!!! It's alive!! I told you so!! So buy your A-rod Red Sox jersey now while you still can before mlb.com goes into cover-up mode and erases the evidence that this deal is 100% definitely going to happen!

Ha ha this is the greatest day of my life, the Sox are so close to ridding this town of Manny's reign of terror I'm literally drooling as I type this. So long, you overpaid Dominican NY-raised malcontent and welcome Alex Rodriguez! I love A-Rod and his steely blue eyes and the way he looks in that tight uniform!! I can't wait until he's actually here and leading us to the glory that he's brought every city he's ever played for! I would NEVER turn on this guy, trust me! He's a great shortstop and doesn't spend his time talking, just playing at a superstar level, and I would never attack anyone like that!

Nomar, get your bus ticket, because you're the next one out of town! Hopefully Pedro will follow. Because neither one is a leader! Get it!! God this is so exciting, I can't believe I actually ran a highly-paid athlete out of Boston!! I am so powerful now it is amazing!!

A-ROD WILL BE HERE IT IS A 100% DONE DEAL!!! If this trade doesn't happen by midnight tonight, this blog will go dark! Honest, this time I mean it!!






2004-01-20T14:40:47.966-05:00

I AM BACK!!!!! YIPYIPYIP!!!!!!

The Yip dawg is BACK!!! So much has happened since my blog went dark last summer (I swore to pull the plug on this site when Manny the Loafer wasn't traded by the deadline. But now I see that it doesn't really matter if you keep your word or not, because it's more important to have a website out there that's not afraid to attack famous athletes and savagely criticise them for anything and everything. Because they are lying hypocrites!!!!)

Anyway, on to the latest news!!

Talks to Resume this Weekend
1:20:04, 1:17pm: Allston Community Radio's Bruce Levangie is now saying that talks on the Manny-for-A-Rod trade heated up this past week and John Henry and Tom Hicks either met last weekend or will meet this coming weekend or met last month or will meet later next month or not. My sources tell me A-Rod was bending Bud Selig's ear about the trade at Sammy Sosa's bar-mitzvah in Tel-Aviv, and is pressing hard for the deal, using a combination of physical intimidation, vague threats and teary-eyed pleading. And so it's clear that this deal is GOING to happen!!! It's alive!! I told you so!! So buy your A-rod Red Sox jersey now while you still can before mlb.com goes into cover-up mode and erases the evidence that this deal is 100% definitely going to happen!

Ha ha this is the greatest day of my life, the Sox are so close to ridding this town of Manny's reign of terror I'm literally drooling as I type this. So long, you overpaid Dominican NY-born malcontent and welcome Alex Rodriguez! I love A-Rod and his steely blue eyes and the way he looks in that tight uniform!! I can't wait until he's actually here and leading us to the glory that he's brought every city he's ever played for! I would NEVER turn on this guy, trust me! He's a great shortstop and doesn't spend his time talking, just playing at a superstar level, and I would never attack anyone like that!

Nomar, get your bus ticket, because you're the next one out of town! Hopefully Pedro will follow. Because neither one is a leader! Get it!! God this is so exciting, I can't believe I actually ran a highly-paid athlete out of Boston!! I am so powerful now it is amazing!!

A-ROD WILL BE HERE IT IS A 100% DONE DEAL!!! If this trade doesn't happen by midnight tonight, this blog will go dark! Honest, this time I mean it!!






2003-08-25T18:33:24.333-04:00

BLOGGER

Scrappy Sox carry Pathetic Pedro to another win! Boston Sports Media inspires the Photophobic Faker to FINALLY pitch!


David Ortiz, Kevin Millar and Trot Nixon led the way as the Red Sox won yet another big game on their march to the world championship. But the real credit has to go to the local media, and especially talk radio. The callers and hosts of WEEI held Part-Time Pedro's feet to the fire and finally got him to produce a little, as their righteous indignation over the Faker's sick day obviously made the little wussy try to win for a change. Of course, Martinez characteristically bailed out after only 6 innings pitched, claiming to still be recovering from the sniffles, and once again left the game up to his bullpen.

Luckily for the soon-to-be-ex-Sox whiner, some new guy named Bronson came out of the pen to save the day, giving the Mariners a Death Wish and saving Pedro's overpaid butt-- a Great Escape, you might call it. This new Bronson guy got a Dirty Dozen outs (minus 3) in his Raid on Entebbe, almost as many as the Photophobic Faker himself, while allowing ZERO runs in a Magnificent 7 (minus 4) innings in this Battle of the Bulge.

The Diva of course allowed an earned run, as he always seems to do in the clutch. That's the thanks I get from the ungrateful Faker for waving my little Dominican flag all day.

Luckily for us all, talk radio, the sportswriters and journalists such as myself will continue to challenge the Faker for the rest of his time here. We can only hope that he will give us more than 6 measly innings next time. Yip Dawg Nation demands more from this Pathetic Puss, who seems to think he's above criticism, since he's lugging around a mighty 10 wins. This isn't over, Faker, it's only just begun.





2003-08-25T11:28:48.206-04:00

YIP YIP YIP YIP!!! I am back, people! You probably wonder where the ol' Yip dawg has been-- i had a little trouble with the ISP last week, apparently they get all mad if you use your email to "make vulgar threats and harrass celebrities." Who knew? Anyway, that's all straightened out, and the Yip Dawg is BACK! Just like my Red Sox! I can't believe you people quit on them last week, the Yip Dawg NEVER gives up! It was good to see that in my absence, a lot of my media brethren kept up the good fight against the "superstars." Many websites joined in with ace columnist Dan Shaughnessy to let Pedro know that he isn't wanted here, and that Diana Ross needs to get his butt out of town as soon as possible. It stinks that we're stuck with Diva Diana for another year, but at least now we know that he'll be gone ASAP. Don't let the door hit your butt on your way out Diva Pedro! Once the Diva is finally run off, the Red Sox can use his huge salary on a real ace, someone with stamina and heart who will get out there and pitch instead of calling in sick every day. My vote: Randy Johnson. The Unit is a proven warrior and a stud. Just think where the Sox would be this year if we had the American Big Unit instead of the Dominican Diva. And Item #2 on my shopping list: Roger Clemens. Another proven warrior with a regular name, and he's one of Us, having played here before and knowing all about the Curse. The American Rocket has never let his team down in the clutch by calling in sick. Signing these two gamers should only cost about 10 million more than Diva's bloated salary, so get on the stick, Theo!





2003-08-14T19:32:57.660-04:00

BLOGGER

Sox survive another Manny error, Mueller and Kapler win the game!

Silencing the naysayers who had given up on them, the Red Sox overcame yet ANOTHER pathetic error by piece of junk Manny Ramirez, as Bill Mueller hit a dramatic home run to jump-start the offense, and then knocked in the winning run in the 10th inning, keying a dramatic come-from-behind win over Oakland.
Despite being counted out by many of their fairweather fans (you know who you are, pal) the gritty Red Sox never gave up, and pulled out the victory, despite yet another Pay-dro No-Show, no offense at all from Nomar/No-mas, and yet another critical error by Manny Ramirez. It is amazing how this team can win big games with virtually no contribution from the team's so-called superstars!

The victory moved the Red Sox back into the lead in the Wild Card race, as well as cutting the Yankees' lead to 2.5 games. With the team now white-hot, the only question that remains is who to pitch in the first game of the playoffs. After they clinch the division title, the Red Sox will likely host the Central Division champion in the first round. After seeing too many Part-time Pay-dro choke-jobs, the Yip Dawg is here to tell you that you have to start someone else in such a critical game. Start Derek Lowe in game one of the first round, then go with the cagey John Burkett to start the ALCS. Jeff Suppan and Tim Wakefield can handle the first two games of the World Series, with Lowe and Burkett coming on to finish off the sweep. It's gonna be saweet! Sox in four, you heard it here first!!!!!!







2003-08-14T11:22:56.206-04:00

BLOGGER

Nomar fails again! Garciaparra whiffs with the bases loaded! Choking Californian leaves runners in scoring position in a HUGE game two nights in a row!


How much more of this are we supposed to take? How many nights in a row is Nomar going to fail in CLUTCH situations? In what was arguably the most important point of last night's HUGE game, overrated infielder Nomar Garciaparra fanned with the bases loaded and one out! That's the third time in less than a week that the formerly loved Whiffer has choked in such a situation. Has Derek Jeter ever whiffed with the bases loaded? I don't remember it. This sort of thing is why the Red Sox have never won it all and never will.

In other lowlights of last night's game, Part-time Pedro Martinez again declined to try to help the team by pitching, instead choosing yet again to "rest." This guy gets more rest than Rip Van Winkle. So far this year, the Diva has chosen to sit out 99 of Boston's 120 games! 5 other pitchers decided to help the team by pitching last night, but apparently Pampered Pedro is above such things. We deserve better!

New Yorker Manny Ramirez continued his slump last night, making two MORE outs. Luckily for everyone, Kevin Millar picked up the "superstars" and carried them on his back to Victory, slugging two hits, including a homer, and knocking in three runs. As the Sox play out the string in this lost season of 2003, it's nice to see at least SOME guys are still playing hard and producing. Maybe Loafing Manny can take some notes and learn some lessons from the gritty Millar. We should be so lucky!







2003-08-13T12:01:44.736-04:00

BLOGGER Red Sox play out the string-- "stars" choke again in latest loss. Ho-hum, another loss last night to Oakland as the Red Sox play out the string in the rebuilding year of 2003. The real news is that I have just read the greatest newspaper article I have ever seen! What's more shocking is that is wasn't written by any of my favorite sportswriters, Buckley, Shaughnessy or Callahan. It was penned by Jim Donaldson of the Providence Journal. I have to admit that I haven't read much of Donaldson's work before today, but now I am moving him up to the top of the list of my favortite sports columnists, sports talk radio hosts, sports talk radio callers, and other angry white guys. This guy gets it! Here's the highlights of his article: "Red Sox Jim Donaldson: I'm sorry, but this will only go so far 01:00 AM EDT on Wednesday, August 13, 2003 I want Pedro's deal. I want to be coddled and pampered. I want to be catered to, given special privileges. I want to be treated with kid gloves. I want to be handled with care. I want to have "Fragile" stamped on my arm and shoulder, and on my feelings, too. I want to be used sparingly, but would like my ego to be massaged regularly. I want Pedro's deal. I want to work only every fifth day. I don't want to have to finish what I start. I don't want to have to talk to anyone I don't feel like talking to, especially baseball writers who ask questions I don't want to answer, particularly after a loss like Monday night's, in Oakland. And I want to be paid lots and lots and lots of money. Yes, I want Pedro's deal. He's on a pitch count? Well, I want to be on a word count.... So I want Pedro's deal. He goes five innings Monday night against the A's, then turns the game over to the bullpen. OK. If that's the deal, then I want to write five good paragraphs and let somebody else finish up for me. While Pedro went to the shower, Tim Hudson went the distance for the A's. The full nine innings, giving up just two infield singles and not a single run against what is widely considered to be the most potent, the most explosive, the best-hitting lineup in all of baseball. Oakland's lineup, on the other hand, is not the even the most potent, or explosive, in the Bay Area. Hudson set down the Red Sox on just 93 pitches over nine innings. Pedro was pulled after throwing 103 pitches in just five innings. Like Pedro, Hudson hasn't always had the best run support this season. Although, unlike Pedro, Hudson doesn't really expect to get a whole lot of runs from an Oakland lineup that doesn't pack nearly the punch of Boston's. Nonetheless, Hudson has a record of 11-4, compared to Pedro's 8-3. Hudson has pitched at least seven innings in 21 of his 26 starts this year. Pedro has made just 21 starts, but has pitched seven or more innings only 12 times. The A's are 21-5 in games Hudson has started. Although Monday night's loss was Pedro's first since May, the Red Sox are just 11-10 in games he has started. Yet Hudson is being paid $2.7 million this season, and Pedro's getting $15.5 million. What's wrong with this picture? Or pitcher, as the case may be. Oh, do I ever want a deal like Pedro's. Although, money-wise, truth be told, I'd settle for a lot less. I'd take 10 percent of what Pedro makes. Come to think of it, I'd take 1 percent of what he makes. I want a deal like Pedro's. He's the unquestioned ace of the staff, but the Red Sox ration his pitches like sips of water to parched travelers on a desert trek. Every toss he makes is counted the way a determined dieter counts calories. Pedro's pitches, it seems, are to be sipped and savored in limited amounts by Red Sox fandom, not guzzled in[...]




2003-08-12T18:51:18.170-04:00

BLOGGER

Now that 2003 is officially over for the Red Sox, it's time to look forward to next year. the Red Sox need to rebuild, and the only way to do that is to get rid of the deadwood, starting with the big money underachievers, New York Ramirez, Diva Pedro and California Nomar. Maybe the Traumatic Trio can be packaged to the Yankees for Derek Jeter, Roger Clemens and the rights to Paul O'Neill. Do you know how many RINGS those New York players have? A lot! Come on Theo, pull the trigger and start the cleanup.

Other Red Sox who need to get gone include Derek Lowe, John Burkett, Jeff Suppan, BK Kim, David Ortiz, and Damian Jackson. These guys are all one-trick ponys who add no value, put them on the next boat out of town with the Traumatic Trio. The message needs to be sent that if you're not a gritty, gutty, gutsy, grimy type of player with a normal name and regular hair, then you have no place on Yip Dawg's team. Get 'em gone, and get to rebuilding Theo! You owe us a championship, and now that this year is over, it's time to start working on next year.






2003-08-12T12:24:25.636-04:00

BLOGGER

Pedro chokes again! Martinez needs to be yanked after 5! I told you so!


Well well well I told you all how Diva Pedro is a part-time pitcher now, and he proved it again last night in Oakland. He couldn't go past 5 innings, and LOST yet again. That's three losses this year already, for this guy whose ERA has soared by almost half a run a game since 2000, yet his salary has skyrocketed. We can't prove that Pedro begged out of the game last night, but come on, what other reason could there be for him to leave after only 101 pitches? His pathetic performance last night will be my defining memory of this guy when he finally takes his tired act out of here to NY where he belongs.

Like many games, last night's game was decided in the third inning, when the A's pounded Pedro for all the runs they would need. Pedro's ERA in the decisive inning of the game? 18.00! That is what I call choking.

Pedro's buddies Nomar and Manny didn't help either. Nomar was only able to reach base twice, while Manny made two outs, including a strikeout, as the "sluggers" kept their teammates from scoring even a single run. Way to choke, "stars."

I don't know why we ran off gamers like Scott Hatteberg, who battled and fought and scrapped and helped his team win last night, just to waste the money on underachievers. Hatteberg has a funny name, but at least he looks like a regular guy. And he never fails to share his opinions with the liasons of the fans, because he cares. Once again, Diva Pedro didn't bother speaking to the fans after last night's game. We the fans deserve answers to our questions! If Part-time Pedro can't face the media and explain to us why he gave up those runs last night, then it's time for him to go somewhere where they don't understand what really matters. He can take his "ERA" and "wins" and "strikeouts" and the rest of his meaningless stats with him. Good riddance.





2003-08-11T19:10:34.493-04:00

BLOGGER

Here are some bad things about the Red Sox that I am sick of:

Big salaries
Funny names
weird-looking players
"Superstars"
Weird hair
Athaletes that won't talk to the fans' liasons
Players that won't continually tell the press how lucky they are to get to play for the greatest fans in the world, Red Sox fans
People from other places


Get rid of them all!!!!


To prove that I am not negative, here are things that are great that we need to see more of:

Players who show they are upset when they screw up
Players who seem like regular guys, not weirdos
Columns where sportswriters let those pampered babies know who's boss
Talk radio debates about where we should trade Nomar
Investigations into the Diva Pedro travel Scandal
Gossip about how weird and dumb Manny Ramirez is.

Go team!!!!






2003-08-11T16:33:42.673-04:00

The Yip Dawg isn't big on stats. I've heard again and again on the radio how stats are meaningless, how they are only for pencil-necked poindexters who never played the game. And it's all true! I played baseball, and I know how little value stats have. The season that I played, our scorekeeper said I was second to last on the whole team in on-base percentage. Well I checked, and their math was wrong, I was actually ahead of another kid. Typical stats-geek mistake, no wonder i never played Little League again.

Anyway, as stupid as most stats are, they are pretty telling when it comes to the Red Sox "superstars." Take yesterday's game. Nomar made three outs in one game! If he kept up that pace, he would make 1,095 outs in a calendar year! He struck out once, so if he maintained that pace for a full year, he'd strike out 365 times! That would be a record! He gets 10 million a year to be that bad? Get him gone, we're sick of him and his obsessive-compulsive behavior and his California attitude.

And Manny Ramirez is no better, he just gets paid more. If he kept up his caught-stealing pace from yesterday, he'd be thrown out 365 times in a row! What a loser. Kevin Romine never got thrown out stealing 365 straight times, and he didn't make any $20 million a season, either. And he didn't have funny hair, or a weird name. He was a regular guy. Too bad he's gone and we're stuck with the likes of New York Manny.

Well figures don't lie, and the figures say that Nomar and Manny are overrated and overpaid. Maybe you like paying a guy a million dollars to strike out! (Or whatever it is, I'm no stats geek, I played the game.) Well I don't like it, and I wouldn't pay these chumps another dime. I deserve better!




2003-08-11T10:08:15.503-04:00

Losers Lose! Sox drop 3 of 4 to Orioles.


Boston's "superstars" once again came up short, leading their teammates to three losses in four games against the Orioles. The debacle was epitomized by Nomar Garciaparra's pitiful whiff with the bases loaded to end the series. Nomar's ineptitude was matched by Manny "New Yorker" Ramirez, who was caught stealing and made four outs. Diva Pedro Martinez couldn't be bothered to pitch in any of the games, and wasn't even around for the last game, choosing instead to selfishly fly across the country for a vaccation in the San Francisco area instead. How typical. What kind of selfish Diva would do such a thing? How could he not want to spend the day at Fenway Park? Doesn't he know it's a lyric little bandbox?

Don't Boston's devoted fans deserve better than these slugs? The gritty Orioles showed the Boston stiffs how to play-- the question is, how many gritty Orioles can the Red Sox obtain by trading their overpaid, underachieving trio of Manny Ramirez, "California" Garciaparra, and Diva Pedro? Now that the season is basically over, it's time to rebuild by sending the New Yorker, the Diva and the formerly loved Californian to the Orioles, for scrappy studs like Brook Fordyce, Brian Roberts and Travis Driskill. Or maybe Jason Johnson instead, Driskill is a funny kind of name, it doesn't sound normal, like O'Brien or O'Neil or Ryan or Smith or anything. Maybe if the Red Sox had fewer overpriced malcontents with weird names like Manny, Nomar or Pedro, and more gutty grinders with normal names like Jerry, Brian, Sully, or Trot, they would win instead of choking all the time.







2003-08-08T10:22:50.923-04:00

Manny goes 0-5! Pedro takes another night off, Sox pull out victory.

Once again, scrappy role players like Kevin Millar and Trot Nixon carried the Red Sox to victory despite the team's "stars" basically taking another night off. Millar's walk keyed a 6-run rally, and he added a clutch RBI single in the 7th. Trot made a tremendous catch in the outfield to save the game. In one of the worst games of the year, $20 million man New York Ramirez went hitless in 5 at-bats, hit into a double play, struck out, left a runner in scoring position, did nothing to stop Tim Salmon's home run that sailed over his head, and probably spent the whole game counting his money and remembering his childhood days spent in NEW YORK CITY.

Overrated Californian Nomar Garciaparra made yet another out, as he padded his statistics with a meaningless Fenway-special home run to left field that possibly wouldn't have been out of the Polo Grounds. Way to only hit when the Sox win by 6 runs, Nomar. Some of us haven't forgotten those outs you made against the Yankees earlier this season, and no matter how many garbage-time HRs you hit, we never will.

Diva Pedro was nowhere to be seen, except in the dugout, as he begged off from pitching yet again, apparently feeling it was more important to "rest his arm" than to get out there and earn his money. Poor John Burkett stepped into the breach and saved the team with a solid pitching performance, one he wouldn't have had to make, if the Dominican Diva had only tried to earn some of his money by actually playing.

Once again, the team's gritty, scrappy players overcame the underachieving "stars," and pulled out a victory. Thanks for nothing, "superstars." Even The Dominican Sack, David Ortiz, did more than you three, and everyone who saw him in the playoffs last year knows he's worthless. Ortiz has been hitting acceptably lately, no doubt inspired by his good fortune in being allowed to be teammates with gung-ho gutty gritty grunts like Nixon and Millar. If he'd stop hanging around with that notoriously bad influence, NY Manny, he might not be so worthless, but I don't like the looks of him, so who knows? The point is, the highly paid Red Sox "superstars" came up virtually empty once again.





2003-08-07T18:38:35.340-04:00

Breaking News! Manny Ramirez admits to being a New Yorker!

Boston Yip Dawg has uncovered evidence clearly indicating that Red Sox "slugger" Manny Ramirez is actually from New York city. Sources indicate that New Yorker Ramirez grew up in the Washington Heights section of New York, spending the formative years of his life virtually in the shadow of Yankee Stadium. It is unclear whether or not deposed Evil Former GM Dan Duquette was aware of this at the time he gave the New Yorker his immense, untradeable contract. The question is, what did Dan Duquette know and when did he know it? It was under the watch of the Evil Former GM that Diva Pedro, The Californian Garciaparra and New Yorker Manny were all acquired. Was it all a plot to deny gritty Sox gamers like fan favorites Trot Nixon, Mike Lansing and Chris Stynes their rightful championships? No one can prove it, but the fact remains that Boston is stuck with its highly paid "superstars" for at least another year. Of course, New Yorker Ramirez refused to comment on the latest allegations, most likely because he despises Red Sox fans.





2003-08-07T09:48:08.570-04:00

Pedro almost blows the game!

His teammates had to bail out Passport Pedro Martinez once again, as the Red Sox escaped with a 4-2 win on Wednesday night. Martinez selfishly put his own quest for fame and glory ahead of the team's goals, refusing to leave the game until it was over. After getting pounded for 10 hits, he finally got the game over with by getting a gift called third strike, with the tying and go-ahead runs on base. Typical selfishness from the Diva, who was reported to be both "disinterested and dismissive" to a Boston Globe sportswriter after the game. Who does this guy think he is? And of course, Pedro is expected to take today off, being "unable" (more like unwilling) to play for the team that pays him so much money for almost another week. Typical Pedro. Last night was just another reason why we need to get this guy gone from Boston.

Overrated "stars" Nomar Garciaparra and Manny Ramirez continued to make out after out. Nomar made three outs in only 5 at-bats, while $20 million-man Ramirez made three outs in only 4 at-bats. Contrast that pathetic performance with that of the scrappy David Eckstein, who belted two hits in only five trips to the plate. Luckily for the Red Sox, the gritty bench players rescued the "stars" once again and came up with the win.





2003-08-06T15:47:30.300-04:00

BLOGGER

Red Sox win Tuesday-- no thanks to star players!

The malcontent from Southern California, Nomar Garciaparra, made three outs and $20 million-man Manny Ramirez made two as their Red Sox teammates made up for them and won 10-9 against the Anaheim Angels. $15-million foreigner Pedro Martinez didn't even play, apprently preferring to take yet another day to "rest his arm." If Pedro feels like pitching tonight, he will start against Anaheim. But who knows? The Diminutive Dominican might have to light another torch, or something. (That is a reference to his disgraceful trip to the Pan-Am games, which kept him from playing 4 games for the Red Sox last weekend.) Pedro apologists claim that he has always taken days off for "rest". Cy Young didn't, but I suppose Pedro thinks he's better than Cy Young.