Preview: A Large Regular
A Large Regular
Chris Lynch's slanted view on sports, politics and entertainment.
Please send thoughts or comments to email@example.com
It's a Wonderful Cure for Bad Eyesight
It's a Wonderful Life is a staple of Christmas and a tradition for many on Christmas Eve but just thinking of it make me need to nitpick on this one little thing that has always bothered/amused me. When Jimmy Stewart is alive and him and Donna Reed are busy making kids - her eyesight is perfect. No eyeglasses for Donna Reed. But when Jimmy never existed - all of a sudden the librarian / spinster Reed needs eyeglasses. What happened? Now you can argue that she needs glasses because as a librarian she reads more books but I'm not buying that. I think Frank Capra was trying to send out a pro-sex message. Sex is so good it makes your eyesight better! Jimmy Stewart's cure for nearsightedness (that would be a good name for a band - well maybe not).
allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eQlcN-uEcH4" width="500">Happy birthday to Larry Legend. The video above helps show why he's so beloved in Boston.
Red Sox Get Chris Sale
So the Red Sox pulled the trigger on a trade for White Sox ace Chris Sale
. That now gives them a rotation of Sale, David Price, reigning AL CY Winner Rick Porcello, Edwin Rodriguez and probably Clay Buchholz with Drew Pomeranz being insurance in the bullpen. That's a hell of a rotation. Easily top 3 in baseball (Cubs fans and Mets fans can argue the order). Knuckleballer Steven Wright might be on the outside looking in despite going 13-6 with a 3.33 ERA last season because that's how knuckleballers seem to be treated in MLB.
In order to get Sale the Red Sox gave up perhaps the top prospect in baseball in Yoan Moncada, fireballer Michael Kopech and lottery tickets Victor Diz and Luis Basabe. Much less than I was willing to give up in my hypothetical trade a few days ago
. I LOVE the trade!
Some people are concerned about Sale's weight and delivery. Such talk just reminds me of the trade that brought Pedro Martinez
to Boston with Carl Pavano and Tony Armas going to the Expos in exchange. Pedro was too thin they said at the time. His delivery is an injury waiting to happen they said at the time. Well that trade worked out OK.
Now I don't mean to compare Sale to Pedro - or to Randy Johnson for that matter (even though height and lefthandedness make that the first comparison that comes to mind). This trade is all about winning now and I like that. I don't care if Moncada goes on to win an MVP in Chicago - as long as Boston gets to the World Series in the next three years. If that happens this trade is a win for Boston.
Since I predicted this trade a few days ago so why not try my hand at a couple more predictions:
1. The Clay Buchholz experience will be traded before the start of the season (maybe even this week)
2. Boston fans and writers will come up with a much better nickname for Chris Sale than "the condor". That's a mediocre nickname at best. (I also predict some hack Boston writer will use "Condor No Big Unit" after Sale's first loss with the Red Sox.)
There's Christian Rock but no Christian Wrestling - I say we change that.This time of year I always think of the following Bible verse:"As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: He is a buckler to all those who trust in him" - Psalm 18:30I got to thinking that "The Buckler" would be a great name for a Christian wrestler. I went out to to dinner once when this idea first hit me and there was a non-alcoholic beer on the menu called - you guessed it - Buckler. Vince McMahon has to make this happen.Here's the idea - a Christian wrestler who only wrestles to spread the Gospel. He' gets sponsored by Heineken (they make Buckler beer) and the other wrestler's make fun of his religion in order to get him to lose his cool. Can't you picture Brock Lesner getting the Buckler in a choke hold and saying, "Where's your Moses now?" (like Dathan from The Ten Commandments). Goldberg could pile drive him and ask, "Your God, your God - why has he abandoned you?"The Buckler in turn could come out with a signature surrender hold called "the crucifixion." The Buckler's entrance music could be some gospel standard or something by Creed. You hear "Onward Christian Soldiers" over the PA and McMahon says, "Is that the Buckler's music I hear?"It would be controversial and that's what wrestling thrives on. This could be huge.So let it be written - so let it be done.[...]
Top 5 - Best Versions of Dickens' A Christmas Carol
Every Christmas I make it a point to re-read Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. If you just want to watch the holiday perrienial then here's my rankings:
1. Scrooge - with Alastair Sim2. A Christmas Carol - with Patrick Stewart3. Mickey's Christmas Carol4. The Muppet Christmas Carol5. Scrooged - with Bill Murray
Flotsam and Jetsam
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Sorry but I don't care what an actress wears on the red carpet or what cleats and NFL player is wearing today. Sorry just don't care... AKA the saddest Christmas ever
... There should be a Cracker Barrel prevention hotline that gives people options of much better restaurants for those about to eat at Cracker Barrel... The type of man we need helping run the country
... "Coming of age" stories are a little spot on if you reverse the those three words...Who knew? Barry Manilow's hit I Write the Songs
was not written by Barry Manilow... So will Commissioner Goodell be in attendance as Tom Brady breaks the tie for all-time wins by an NFL QB today in Foxboro?... I'm an awful person for laughing at this
The Peanut Friends TV Show
Here's an idea for a TV show - take the format of the show Friends (including opening song and everything) but instead of the cast of Friends you'd have a real-life grown up versions of Charles Shulz' Peanuts characters.Instead of a coffee shop - most of the action would take place at a piano bar with Schroeder being the "piano man". Lucy van Pelt, despite having a Ph. D in psychology, is the hostess at the piano bar restaurant (just to be close to Schroeder). Each week Lucy could give an psychoanalysis of whatever issue one of the gang is dealing with. Sort of a running gag. Schroeder could insist everyone call him "maestro" as a Seinfeld shout-out.Charlie Brown's sister Sally could be played by a blonde hottie and the character would be sort of a slut. His best friend, Linus van Pelt could be played by one of The Big Bang actors who could geek slap big sister Lucy any time one of her on the spot psychoanalytical diagnosis makes no logical sense.Peppermint Pattie and Marcie would, of course, be lesbians. Maybe Sue Lynch for Pattie and KD Lang for Marcie? Pig Pen could be a recovering drug addict. How could this not work?And for Charlie Brown - I picture a bald Bill Burr or a younger version of Paul Giamatti. I would seriously watch this show if it were ever made.[...]
The Truth About the Island of Misfit Toys
It is the Christmas season which means soon holiday classics will be on TV constantly. I need to get off my chest the truth about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys. The thing about the misfit toys wasn't that they were squirt-guns that shot jelly or cowboys who rode ostrich's. The really strange thing about these "toys" was the fact THEY WERE ALIVE!Now any high school biology student can tell you that life comes from life. These misfit toys were probably the offspring of some sick minded magic elves who must have gotten too "friendly" with some of the toys they were working on and fondling day after day. They were put on the Island of Misfit Toys probably as an attempt by upper management of Santa's Workshop to cover up some of the sick shit that was going on when the lights got turned off at night.Let's be clear here - we aren't talking about misfit toys either - we are talking about FREAKS! If my kids got a choo-choo with square wheels that was alive - I would freaking BURN IT WITH FIRE! I would also then have to start spending thousands of dollars on therapy probably for the whole family. You could bet that Christmas and Santa would take on whole new meanings (and nightmares) from that day forward.God help the children who ended up getting those freak misfit toys on Christmas morning.
And don't even get me going on the heroin backstory to The Little Drummer Boy.
Supposedly Chicago White Sox ace Chris Sale
is on the trade block. If you're Dave Dombrowski, President of Baseball Operations for the Boston Red Sox, who do you offer up in exchange for a top pitcher under team control for another 3-years?
Nobody is asking me but here's what I'd offer:
- Yoan Moncada 2B/3B - considered by many to be baseball's top prospect
- Eduardo Rodriquez SP - only 23-years old, MLB ready and who has shown flashes of being a rotation mainstay (somebody has to make room for Sale)
- A top Single A prospect that is mutually agreeable.
For the White Sox - that's a pretty good haul. For the Red Sox - what fan wouldn't be excited about a rotation that features aces Sale, David Price and Cy Young winner Rick Porcello.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
John Brown's Raid on Harpers Ferry
Many people look at the firing upon Fort Sumter as the spark that lit the Civil War but I think the real spark came back in 1859 when John Brown and his "army" of 21 attacked and occupied the armory at Harpers Ferry, VA.The next day, US Marines under the command of US Army Colonel Robert E. Lee (how's that for irony) attacked Brown and his men. When the gun smoke cleared, 10 of Brown's men were dead (including 2 of his sons) and Brown was taken prisoner and shortly thereafter he was hanged. In fact on this very day 157 years ago.I find it slightly amusing that most history books and mentions of Brown on the Internet either gloss over or omit completely the fact that Brown was almost certainly insane.I'm not making any moral judgments on Brown's actions. I'm just saying that he was crazy. Seriously. When I first saw a picture of John Brown - I thought I was looking at Charlie Manson circa 1850.The John Brown / Charles Manson analogy isn't that bad. Brown raided the armory because he wanted to arm slaves to start a full-fledged slave revolt. Charles Manson has said that he killed those folks in the Hollywood Hills because he hoped that blacks would be blamed and that would spark a race war in the US. This may be one of those things that I only find interesting. [...]
It has been 11-years since the Boston Bruins traded Joe Thornton
to the San Jose Sharks. It was a trade that caused me to try and cancel my cable TV because I was so pissed about it (I didn't want any of my money going to NESN which is co-owned by the Bruins and Red Sox).
Jumbo Joe, the former first pick of the NHL draft was traded for Wayne Primeau, Marco Strum and Brad Stuart. Can you see why I was pissed?
If Thornton played his entire career in Boston, his 900 points would put him 4th on the all-time Bruins scoring list (2 points ahead of Rick Middleton but behind Hall of Famers Ray Bourque, Johnny Bucyk and Phil Esposito). Can you imagine if Joe Thorton on the front line had been coupled with Zedeano Chara on the back line this past decade? I can - that's why I'm still pissed off about the trade.
A Very Calvin & Hobbes Christmas
allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pq8iyhMFLYE" width="500">
Let the Christmas rumpus begin!
Did MSNBC Cost Hillary Clinton the Election?
allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Zn3f0Xav6-w" width="500">
What if viewers of MSNBC believed Rachel Maddow and either stayed home (like the cast of Hamilton) because their vote wasn't needed or cast their votes for Jill Stein or Gary Johnson as sort of a mini-protest? In the video above Maddow is so cocky who could blame Bernie Sanders supporters watching at home for making other plans on election day? What has Rachel Maddow done to this country!
* Yeah I just made up this breaking conspiracy theory. But it doesn't make the schadenfreude of the video any less amusing.
Arctic and Antarctic Ice Sheets
allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6ZAuRpK4tkc" width="500">
So the Arctic ice sheets are melting. But the Antarctic ice sheets are growing
The skeptic in me wonders why the loss of ice mass in the North Pole is attributed to Global Warming (the science is settled) but the explanation for the ice gains in at the South Pole has many theories. Doesn't quite seem like proper science to me.
The historian in me wonders - hasn't this happened before? Isn't the Arctic ice melting before where stories of a semi-mythical Northwest Passage
came from? And didn't the opposite effect of the Arctic ice growing so much that the Bering Straits were frozen solid give rise to the theory of that's how the first people originally came to North America come from?
The scientist in me wonders if this might be caused in part by the Earth changing from a magnetic North Pole to a magnetic South Pole
. What about the change in Earth's tilt
being an explanation? Maybe a combination of both and possibly other factors? Truth is scientists just don't know. More research is needed. But true science is not served if every result needs to be pre-determined to point to a man-made global catastrophe.
The science is not settled. Mankind has just scratched the surface of the science of how our climate works and the history of past changes.
Flotsam and Jetsam
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Why does a QB say "hike" in football? What is he "hiking"? Seriously this little language nugget bugs me... I'm depressed that Florence Henderson has taken the secret of where Mrs. Brady buried the body of her first husband to her grave... What kind of monster was Fidel Castro? One interested in starting a thermonuclear war
... In my opinion - if you can't name the last two people to hold a Cabinet position you really aren't in a great position to complain about Trump's choices... WTF?!? Seriously - WTF?!?
... Another language question - why is it that we say "slept like a lamb"? Why a lamb? Why not a sloth or a welfare recipient?... I only know Ron Glass from his work as an actor but he seemed like the nicest and coolest guy around. RIP Ron Glass
... Bill Cosby says he plans to go back on tour. Most likely to countries without extradition treaties with the US...
Tom Brady's 200th Win
Tom Brady goes for his 200th win today as a starting QB in the NFL. That would tie him with Peyton Manning for the most wins in NFL history. Brady could be reaching 200 wins in just 261 games. It took Manning 292 games.
Not only is this another data point in the argument that Brady is the greatest QB to ever walk the Earth - it also leads to some interesting drama. Will NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell be in attendance at the game against the Jets? Will there be a televised in-person congratulations from the commissioner if Brady wins the game? How cold will the reception be for Goodell in the Patriots locker room?
And even more interesting - would Roger Goodell dare to show up in Foxboro next week when Brady most surely will break the tie with Manning in the home game against the
How History Could Have Been Different
Fidel Castro had a law degree and when he was young he joined the firm of Azpiazo, Castro and Resende. He didn't do very well in the practice. Castro was a young lawyer without any clients.I can't help but wonder how history could have been different if only Castro had been a better lawyer. Or if he happened to get a big case or client. Would Fidel have been so hot for communism if he was sitting on a pile of money?
But no - Castro was a shit attorney and a horrible monster. And any person praising him upon his death is an idiot.
Top 5 - Christmas Songs by Rock Stars
Today is traditionally not just the first shopping day for Christmas but also the day when most radio stations start playing Christmas tunes (although there are some out there that started playing them on November 1st- which really bugs me). Anyway - here are the top 5 Christmas songs by rocks stars in my estimation.1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen3. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid4. Father Christmas - The Kinks5.. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Bare Naked LadiesJust missing the list - Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosby and David Bowie.[...]
The Sexy Pilgrim
allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J9S5j70dpQo" width="500">
Happy Thanksgiving! You're welcome!