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Preview: Earl Snyder's Dead Ringer

Earl Snyder's Dead Ringer

Ah --- the beauty of being a Red Sox fan in a post-2oo4 world.

Updated: 2016-02-04T15:00:58.083-05:00


ATTENTION: All-Star Game


Kenny Rogers will, in fact, be participating in the All-Star game. To those of you whom find this offensive due to Rogers' assault on the cameramen, I suggest boycotting the All-Star game. This may seem like a bit of an extreme measure, but I think if you really find it outrageous that Rogers' is being permitted to play in the All-Star game, it's the right thing to do.

Watching the home-run derby is okay, though, since the pitchers do not appear in this.

Speaking of which, are Embree and Cassidy pitching for the home-run derby?

Horror in the 8th


Alright, so yesterday's game was pretty horrifying. Eh, alright, I'm stretching it a little, but it wasn't pretty. Besides the 400th homerun for Manny, it was a bit on the torturous side. They had a chance, but then Millar reminded us why we've been calling him rally-killer for a few weeks now. And Wakefield wasn't the Wakefield of late... more like the reflief pitcher formerly known as Blaine Neal.

But the most horrific part of the game was easily one which many viewers/listeners may've missed.

During the bottom of the 8th, the camera happened to zoom in on Ibanez as he sat in the dugout. Remy started talking about Ibanez and how he was drafted as the number such-and-such pick in the 32nd round of the 199X draft, and mentioned how this was his second stint with the Mariners. Well, throughout this, Ibanez has been scratching his nose, watching the game... normal dugout stuff. But, then, suddenly, Ibanez's pointer-finger vanished up his nose! He began to dig around, and I was put off of the game completely. Thanks a lot, you loser.

Hardball Cathedral in Rain Delay


Wells on the DL. Schilling on the DL. Who's next? I'm beginning to feel inclined to barf in my shoe.

Anyway, horrid stuff aside, I recommend visiting the Fenway area during a rain delay. Seriously, it makes you appreciate it all more. There weren't a lot of people hanging around, so all the details were more perceptible, and it made me realize even further how much I love Fenway and the entire atmosphere. The trees on Yawkey Way practically ooze of having witnessed so much of Sox history, something you could barely notice on a regular game day - but on a day like this it makes you take a step back and think about the history of the organization. And lazing in your seat in the park when its about one third full and everyone's just hanging around hoping for a game just lets you absorb the atmosphere of the park itself. Close your eyes, and its like you can hear the voices from the very day it opened on through to the moment you're sitting there.
Yeah, yeah, I doubtlessly sound fluffy and cloudy-headed, but I'm sure you'll get the same feelings if you go there on a day like this.

Ripping the Media, But not Pitches


People who do the wave during close games deserve to be shot.

And please tell me I'm not the only person growing weary of Schilling's indictments against various groups/people. He ripped some media members and Lou Piniella earlier, apparently. Hey, um, Schil, I know you've helped the Sox win a World Series and all, but maybe you should be working on getting back to form as opposed to ripping people who don't really matter much to the Sox in the grand scheme of things.

And, for the record, I have a very high respect for Lou Piniella. I seriously doubt he told Lance Carter to throw at Ortiz's head. And if anyone made a comment about Piniella being an "idiot" on the field, I suspect it's an isolated comment - and from a player who doesn't get along too well with him. If anyone is an idiot in the Rays' organization, its obviously the ownership. (As for the "lose 100 games" comment, someone might wanna remind the player in question that he's not in Kansas any more.)

Hey, wait a minute... weren't we just espounding the upside of being an idiot just a few months ago? I seem to remember somewhere in the whole Sox '04 rhetoric there being something about a band of idiots... So perhaps the player meant it as a compliment? Perhaps so...

Falling Down the Well(s)


Well, if that wasn't a crappy game, I don't know what was. An ex-player (ex-journeyman?) who didn't pitch very well with them throws like an ace, two pitchers go down over foot/ankle sprains, two errors from one player (!!), and thus they lose in an entirely ugly fashion.

So Wells is on the 15 day DL, but could be out for longer. And Mantei's just floating around somewhere, can't find a thing on whether he's actually injured in a manner that requires significant time off.

Is this punishment for making fun of the Yankees' rotation troubles? Is this punishment for calling the Big Ugly Unit old and ugly? For hoping that Pavano had gotten hit in the arm when I heard that he was hit by a line drive? For making fun of Kevin Brown for being Kevin Brown? For cheering when Jaret Wright was placed on the DL? Is this the sort of thing I can only look forward to getting in return?

I'd wish we had Ben Sheets, except he has the flu, so that wouldn't be of much benefit right now. I guess things could be worse, huh?

Pocket Change


The $60 mil the Sox saved when Nomar turned down that offer are looking better and better every day. Apparently, Nomar is down with what is apparently a groin injury after swinging at a pitch far too hard (he grounded into a double play, in case you were wondering). He couldn't stand afterwards and had to be carried off the field. Ah, what a good thing such is for dignity! Somehow I don't see Renteria straining his groin when attempting to get a hit, hmm?

A Wonderful Day for "Our Fair City"


It is a grand day in the city of Boston. Wakefield has been signed to a contract extension, one that pretty much ensures that he shall play for the Sox right to the end.

Now, perhaps some question the wiseness of this decision so early in the season. Yeah, sure, Wakefield's been golden lately but its just the beginning of the season - he could totally crap out by July!

But recall how versatile Wakefield is. He can be used as a starter, a closer, long relief... he could probably even be used as a pitching coach if his pitching ability really falls off! This is a man you want on your pitching staff.

He's not going to cause trouble, either. He's not one of these immature, upstart pitchers there seem to be droves of these days. He's not the player who's gonna give you a head ache. He's the one who'll go out there and give it his best, and throw as much as you need him to.

He's a pitcher that there need to be more of.

Hideo Nomo: Formerly No-No, Now Just Slomo


You know, originally this was going to be about how Japanese pitchers seem to get better once they leave the Dodgers. But then Nomo sucked, sort of ruining that opportunity. I also briefly considered talking about Randy Johnson's habit of picking his nose in the dug-out - and then going out and pitching with that very same hand. But I suppose I should've talked about that Friday since the game had been the night before.

So here I am, reduced to talking about how Jorge Cantu is Nomar's long-lost younger brother. I mean, look at those ears! And that nose! Either they're related, or the genes for nose-type and ear size are located on the same gene.

Speaking of making fun of Devil Rays players, why on Earth was the bill to Nomo's hat broken? A., he hasn't been with the Rays very long, and B., he's a freaking major league starting pitcher - can't they give him another one? Oh, oops, we're talking about the Devil Rays. They're roster costs $25 mil a year for a reason - tight-fisted owners. So now poor Nomo is going to have to cope with a bad ERA and a broken hat. Poor guy, you'd think after having a decent ten-year career (with some really hot spots, actually) would mean you could at least get a hat that was in good condition.

Oh, and if you were wondering where some of your favorite boy band singers of the 90's have disappeared to, we have found where at least one of them is: in the Devil Rays bullpen. Yes, Lance Carter, we have located you at last. And it turns out that you can neither sing nor pitch.

Now, the game is at hand so I will leave you with one last knock on the Devil Rays: look at their homepage. It says "Watch it happen." on the top bar. Watch what happen? The team suck and the ownership make stupid moves as usual? Watch the clearly masochistic Devil Rays fans faithfully attend games they know the Rays' will probably lose? Watch a team that has not been able to succeed at all despite the fact that their counterpart in the National League has won a world series title?

86 Reasons to Hate Stuck-up Columnists


In Regards to a very irritating and hypocritical column.

"Dear Mr. Schoenfield,

Given how you eventually say in your recent Page 2 column how much it annoys you that so many Page 2 columns are about the Yankees and Red Sox, it seems odd that you would devote such time and an entire column to why you hate the Red Sox. In your last thirteen Page 2 columns on baseball, seven of them were on the Yankees or Red Sox. Hmm... seems to smell of hypocrite, doesn't it?

Now, perhaps you scowl at the screen whilst reading this, and then, with a smug smile, hit the delete button thinking that I must have no life to nitpick and research such an issue. And the answer is no, I do have a life. It just happens to be that of an unemployed college student.

- {insert real name here}"

Posted as sent. Comments on opening day later when this nasty geology homework has been completed.

Centre, not Center


An ugly game for the Sox today. Ted Lilly was top form, and it's always nice to see a pitcher pitch a good game, but it was, admittedly, ruined a bit by the fact that he was playing for the opposing team.

But the game itself did not warrant the outrage I feel. It was disappointing, yes, but I found my fatalistic feelings begin to slip in around the bottom of the 7th - even with a World Series ring, the view hangs around and creeps upon me. But, no, I didn't feel a large amount of disgust at the result of the game; my feelings of ill will were hurtled towards something larger than that, something about 55,000 seats larger than that...

The SkyDome's name change.

What the hell?! Rogers Centre?! What, did Roger Clemens decide to buy the home of a former team in the off-season? When did this happen?! Where was I? (Doubtlessly under a term paper due date.) That place is most certainly not a center - oh, excuse me, centre. It is a dome, there is no other word for it. Alright, so its mroe like a block of concrete, but its more of a dome than it is a "centre". A "centre" of what? Baseball? Hardly, the place doesn't draw too well, nor is there a hell of a lot of baseball action other than on-field (unless you wanna call what happens in the players' apartments "baseball" action).

I was told to just be happy they didn't re-name it the "McDonald's Center" or "Sears Center" (as if Sears has the money to buy that cavern, anyway). But the fact remains that the palce is now named after a company, an ugly thing even for such an ugly park. Corporate naming rights... yech, whatever happened to giving ballparks in America nice names that fit the location or were the names of former members of the organization? What is this, Japanese baseball?

What? You want to hear about the game? Alright, the highlight was this: Manny stealing a base in the 5th. Oh, wait, and Millar tripping coming off the field in the 7th. Yes, those are the highlights. Pretty much says it for the type of game it was.

Arizona Teachings


My trip to Arizona taught me quite a few things in regards to baseball. I attended both of the Sox exhibition games at Bank One Ballpark, and also the final spring training game that the Royals and Rangers played in.

1. Be Thankful for David Ortiz - It seems that it seldom occurs to Sox fans just how good Ortiz is. No, I understand that we all love him, but do we really appreciate him as much as we should? I had the horror of viewing the wrost waste of a DH that I've ever viewed in the form of Calvin Pickering, the Royal's DH. He hacked away at every pitch like he was playing golf, and the only way he found himself to first base was that the Rangers' relief pitcher hit him with a pitch. Pickering fanned four times in the length of the game. Ouch.

2. Fenway kicks ass - Enough complaining about Fenway, folks. Yeah, its small and it has a funky smell to it, but it has character, something Bank One Ballpark sorely lacks. From the marble-floored giftshop to the mall-like concourse, it was hard to believe I was attending a ballgame, much less pay attention. And baseball with a roof over your head? Erg, doesn't work the same. Sure, Arizona definitely needs it, but that doesn't make it feel any less weird. It was a nice ballpark, yes, but it made me want to climb into one of Fenway's rickety, narrow seats and see a game in the chilly evenings of April.

3. Baseball isn't the same everywhere - Seeing a game at the BOB was like watching a minor league game in a major league park. Far too many promotions, really to the point where it seemed that that was the real focus of the day, not the game. Don't they think we'll come otherwise? Well, maybe Diamondbacks fans wouldn't come otherwise - during the singing of Take Me Out to the Ballgame, people yelling "Red Sox!" definitely drowned out those yelling the name of the home team in the line "Let's root, root, root for the Diamondbacks!"

4. Not all Royals fans are psychotic evangelicals - Shocking, I know, but no one tried to give me a Bible or baptize me at the game. Guess not everyone in Suprise is out to convert or punish.

5. Wally, though not a really legit mascot, is actually really not so bad - Three words: Baxter the Bobcat. The only solution to the most annoying mascot in the major leagues? Shotgun.

6. What happens in spring training stays in spring training - Well... this was more evidenced by Wakefield's performance today in addition to his performance during the second exhibiton game. Six runs in less than an inning versus two runs in 6 and two-thirds inning... well, that's definitely a relief.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that, sadly, Earl Snyder is now within the Devil Rays organization. As a result, the name of this blog will have to change. Expect to see it become Tim Kester's Dead Ringer, since knuckleballers are, in my opinion, the best type of pitcher out there.

Welcome to the Desert


In Arizona until the 6th. Tickets to Diamondbacks vs. Red Sox exhibition games, some other spring training games. No (or very short) updates until return.

What to Do with Your Overpriced Pedro Jersey


Were you one of those people who bought a Pedro Martinez replica or authentic jersey last season? Are you now regretting that purchase? Do you find yourself staring haplessly at said shirt hanging in your closet as it collects dust, mourning both the loss of the Boston ace and twenty hours worth of salary? Well, not to worry, folks! We have now discovered a new use for that obsolete shirt of yours!

Thankfully, unlike with the Nomar debacle, there are is another player in the organization with the last name Martinez! And, as another plus, it's a pitcher! Yes, folks, you can now transform your #45 Pedro Martinex jersey into a #48 Anastacio Martinez jersey! All you need to do is pick out the stiches on the '5' and bring it to the personalization booth at your local Sox gear store. Once there, request them to replace the number that "fell off", but ask for a number 8 as opposed to the 5 that was once there.

This is a tried and true method that has recently been implemented by Rangers fans pissed off by the money they dumped on their faithful captain, Alex Rodriguez's, jersey, only to have him skip merrily off to stink up New York with conduct unbecoming. Luckily for these fans, Ricardo Rodriguez stepped in to fill the void, and with the quick switch of numbers, these fans were happily fans of a young pitcher!

So, do not despair, Pedro jersey owners! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! A shining set of numbers in the sky! Meet number 48, Anastacio Martinez, your new favorite pitcher!

The Boys of Spring


Well, after being a complete moron and forgetting the password for my own blogger membership, I have re-surfaced. And just in time for the waning days of Spring Training, too! Bet this absolutely makes your day.

But, seriously, let's talk baseball - the players the Sox now have, and the players the Sox lost. No steroids here, folks --- we get enough of steroid talk everywhere else right now. (Although it may be of note that I had the privlege of being in the Capitol during the McGwire, and that he sounded even worse in person. It may also be of note that there're now countless Secret Service agents out to kick my scrawny, collegiate ass.)

Over the winter, big names were lost. Pedro and Lowe most readily come to mind. But there were also smaller losses - like that of Dave Roberts - of players who will sorely be missed. The Dave Roberts players aren't the flashbulbs and autograph superstars like Pedro and Lowe were, but they were there for the ride, and they contributed in their own way, a way that brought the Sox their first championship to Our Fair City in 86 years. So thank you to all of the smaller time players who played here, albiet briefly, and helped bring New England a late autumn beauty we've lacked for so long.

Now, I'd also like to make mention of the fact that I am absolutely delighted that Mirabelli and McCarty were re-signed. Mirabelli seemed more like a foregone conclusion to me, but McCarty wasn't so definite. McCarty is a decent player, jack of all trades, and I like that the team still has him around. And, hey, if the bullpen explodes in a horrific ball of flames, he can pitch, too! And, if you'll be so kind as to check his stats, he's actually performed decently as a relief pitcher.

I will admit to still struggling to make sense of the fact that David Wells has now parked himself on the barstool of the Sox pitching rotation. Considering his record at Fenway, it seems odd. And even if the record was caused by him being unable to perform as a Yankee versus the Red Sox due to the atmosphere of Fenway, this would seem to imply that he will be unable to perform well at Yankee Stadium. Guess this'll just be the oddity of the wintertime.

So, bring on the boys (and "Whiteboy" in David Wells's case) of summer.



Who's your daddy, Kevin Brown? Who's your daddy?

Golden Boy Mendoza


It is quite odd that Mendoza appears to have become the golden boy of the Sox bullpen considering what a horrorshow he was last year. But there he was, out pitching in the 9th inning, Foulke kicking around the bullpen as Mendoza neatly dealt with the Oakland batters. Maybe some people were upset that Foulke was a no-show, but after Foulke's Byung-Hyun Kim imitation on Sunday, I was quite pleased with their choice.

Oakland fans have once again proven that a good many of them are a rather unpleasant lot. Those who didn't flee from the stadium after the Sox began scoring in the 9th stuck around to hurl trash onto the field because of a bad call. While Fenway may not be a haven of peace and goodwill, I have yet to observe this happening at Fenway. While no one can blame the Oakland fans for being a pissed off about what was obviously a bad call, there is no justifying their causing the need to remove all players from the field. I suppose being an unpleasant fan is just an Oakland thing, though. Remember the riots after the 2002 Superbowl? At least the A's fans haven't burnt down a McDonalds - yet.

I must wonder if the Sox actually left the ballpark last night (I refuse to call it by it's horrendous title). If I were them I would've camped out in the locker room just to avoid possible physical harm by all those enraged Oakland fans. Especially if I were Manny. He might now have become the Oakland fans least favorite Sox player, replacing Lowe (who gained it after he had a little happy fit after winning that game in last year's playoffs). And the umpire who made the bad call could've stayed with them, too. No doubt they'll find him stabbed and jammed into a phone booth this morning.

In other news, Steinbrenner once again proved that he can be a really cold-hearted bastard when it comes to baseball. While this isn't always necessarily a bad thing, given how much of a successful ball club the Yankees have been under him, demanding that the Devil Rays get an automatic loss because they weren't at Yankee Stadium on time yesterday is just low. The Devil Rays stayed home because of the hurricane in Florida, because they wanted to make sure their families were safe during the storm. They were out of town during the first one a few weeks back, but they didn't want to be this time. So they stayed home, understandably. So Steinbrenner stomps his foot, and yells, demanding that the Yankees be given the win for the unplayed game. Hey, Georgie, would you leave your family in the path of a hurricane so you could go play baseball? Actually, wouldn't really shock me if you did.

A Series of Fortunate Events


Well, the Sox swept the White Sox. This is their second series in a row that they've swept, and their third road sweep. And there's only a sweet 5 1/2 games between the slumping Yankees (they've now lost threee in a row, and dropped 6 of their last 7 games, whereas we all know full well the Sox have won 6 of their last 7) and the hell-bent Sox. Although, I'm not really ready to think of the possibility of catching the Yankees. Let's work on the Wild Card first, folks. And let's remember that the Angels are on a 6 game winning streak, too. As for the Rangers... well, for now they might be a worry, but I'm not confident that their luck-frosted juggernaut will be steaming ahead much longer. The pitching just isn't good enough for that.

In two of the three games of the series, someone from the Chigaco team was tossed. I missed the tossing of their second baseman, Willie Harris, during the ninth inning of yesterday's game, but I did see Everett's ejection. I was impressed with ow the umpire handled that. Everett put one toe out of line, and the ump tossed him. Everett came up and started screaming in his face, and the man just looked blankly at him and didn't move an inch. Sure, Everett threw a minor temper tantrum, but it didn't start anything else because of how quickly the ump ejected him. Now, this could be because the man is used to dealing with the immature Everett, which is probably true.

In the same game, someone from Chicago hit a double, and the whole crowd went absolutely nuts. And along the outfield wall, suddenly some fireworks shot up and left a lot of smoke after giving minimal eyecandy. Geez, if this is how excited they get over a double, maybe it's a good thing that the White Sox aren't in first place any more... these people might riot in their glee and excitement if the White Sox made it to just the first round.

And now, they journey to the fortress of the SkyDome in the great white northern lands to defeat the mythical Blue Jays, who are a horrendous 24.5 games out.


Cabrerrors, Cabrerrors


Earl Snyder has been called up from the PawSox today, finally joining a major league roster. As a fan of him, I applaud this move. I do wonder a bit if he really is of the caliber necessary for major league playing, but I think he is more qualified than Cesar Crespo was. Let's hope he proves himself, as the Sox could really use the help.

In other news, Meatball (a.k.a. Eye Chart, a.k.a. Mient...etc) did an excellent job at second last night. His double play early in the game was great to watch, especially as I had been trusting in his ability as a baseball player, as opposed to whinging like a good majority of Red Sox Nation was. Would've been a bit of a let-down if he failed as predicted.

Cabrera, on the other hand, is very disappointing. Piss poor hitting and rickety defense. I hate to say it, but it's making me miss Nomar. =/ Nomar is at least hitting... his defense leaves a little to be desired, but he isn't a total fart on the field like Cabrera has been.

How many steps to home plate?


Am I the only person who has noticed Johnny Damon's odd infatuation with slamming into walls while playing baseball? Last night there wasn't even a need for it, since it wasn't going to fall where he needed to leap into the wall to get it. Has our dear Johnny become a masochist? That was the eighth or ninth time he's done that this season (and, yes, I have been keeping track).Although, given that the entirety of Red Sox Nation is masochistic, you'd expect it to rub off on the players at some point.

Anyway, I've been putting off what I'm about to type for a while, but now I realize if I don't put it down now, I never will because it'll be too dated. This is my swan song in regards to Nomar, because I've just been a cranky person who has told people to move on and stop being so god damn nostalgic and emotional over it. Geez, we all knew he was gonna be gone anyway...

The last time I saw Nomar batting for the Sox, the last game on TV I watched that he was there in that uniform, I saw him go up to the plate to hit. As usual, he went through his whole OCD routine, and you know what? It absolutely broke my heart. No, not because I could forsee he'd be gone, but because of that routine. That awful routine that so many people complain about. The man obviously has serious psychological problems, and that's just awful. I know he's a liar, and he's a pain, and all of that, but even so I feel a little bad for him. Not because he doesn't play in Boston any more (god, those people need to read newspapers), not because he isn't going to make as much money (as if anyone feels bad about that), but because the man obviously needs a psychiatrist.

It also made me think of something else. Given that he is clearly not at all comfortable in his own skin, he probably was alienated from the rest of the team because he's alienated from himself. I have a relative with OCD, and they could even tell you that when you can't even relax around yourself, it's impossible to do around others. Sitting there you see him after a good win, where everyone has celebrated on the field and hugged each other, and he's looking weirded out, and you laugh and say, "Oh, he just realized he's gonna have to take twenty showers now." But then you stop and think, and you realize that it's no joke. I'm not asking for a pardon for the guy, I'm just pointing this all out.

Given that, let's forget about Pinnochio already and focus on Meatball (because spelling 'Mientkiewicz' is really asking too much of me), dammit!

Week in Review


Alright. Nomar's gone, but Lowe isn't. While I do miss Nomar a bit (for purely nostalgic reasons, not based upon this season's performance on and off the field), it is better that he's moved on (and I think I might be one of only a handful of people who actually misses Enri Stanley). I'm just a little upset that Lowe couldn't be gotten rid of, and we'd have Clement here. But c'est la vie. The players we have now in return (Roberts, Cabrera, Mientkiewicz) all seem to be good players so far. And, as a bonus, none of them are superstars, hence they do not have overly inflated egos. Not to mention that they're all cheaper than the pretty penny Nomar wanted.

In other news, the Big Ugly Unit obviously has not moved. I predicted this weeks back when he said he wanted to go to the Yankees. I said he would not move, and if he did, he'd go to the Angels, and only the Angels. But, I had thought it most likely wouldn't happen either because he didn't want to go there. Now, why would he not be traded to the Yankees? Well, for one, the Diamondbacks front office despises Steinbrenner and the Bankees. Secondly, the Bankees had NO prospects. All they had to offer was money, and in the end the Diamondbacks didn't give a damn about the money. Hooray for the Diamondbacks management.

In negative news, the Red Sox blew their chance to sweep the Devil Rays. I'd go on about how sad this is, except the Devil Rays are freakishly good this year. Well... by their standards they're freakishly good. But, the fact that everyone was getting all excited about sweeping the Rays is a very sad attestment to the state of the Red Sox. It'd be only the second time they had swept on the road. The only team they swept? The Royals. Yeah, great job, guys. You swept the 38-67 Royals. That's quite an accomplishment.

Well, Lowe's pitching tomorrow. And hopefully he hasn't started to talk to the other nutty pitcher, Byung Hyun Kim, through a translator. We don't want to be finding them standing on top the Green Monster during a thunderstorm hoping to contact the ghost of the still-living-but-no-longer-pitching Dave McCarty, now do we?



Nomar might be gone. Same goes for Lowe, but, uhh, I don't really care if he's gone. Matt Clement would definitely be an improvement over Lowe at the moment. Actually, to be brutally honest, I'd rather have most pitchers out there as opposed to Lowe. Clement's win-loss record may not be very good, but he has a low ERA (3.02, I think) and he has a high strikeout percentage. He suffers from what Arroyo suffers from: no run support. Maybe the Sox can give him some run support though, hmm?

Anyway, as for Nomar goes, and Cabrera comes... I'm a little wary of this. Cabrera had a bulged disk in the 2002 season, and every day he wakes up he's in pain because of his back. Granted, Nomar has his Achilles' issues, but in the long run back problems are something to be more cautious about. I'm not too sharp on Cabrera's defense stats, but his batting average for this season is .246, versus Nomar's .321. For this month, Nomar has a .386 average, whereas Cabrera is down at .280. This season, Cabrera's OBP is under .300. The difference between their slugging percentage is .148.

Mmm.... guys, I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced. Cabrera doesn't look like an excellent replacement for Nomar. I guess I'm also biased because although I wouldn't mind Nomar going away, I don't exactly want him to play for another team.

Also, one last thing about Clement for Lowe. Remember how Suppan tanked when he came to the AL? He's with St. Louis now, NL now, and he's pitching well. He's an NL pitcher (even considering that he is now a closer, because when he was with the Pirates last season his ERA was 3.57 as a starter). Now his ERA is 4.02, and the record is 9-6. I'm just worried that Clement is going to turn out to be an NL pitcher, too. He's never played in the AL. Is this gonna be another Suppan-Sauerbeck debacle? They both pretty much sucked for Boston.

Of course, as I have said before, anything is better than Lowe at this point (a 5.56 ERA for Lowe versus a 3.05 ERA for Clement, and averages against them of .305 for Lowe versus .222 for Clement). Even if there is a question of whether he'll be able to transfer his success to a different league, this is probably going to be a good upgrade.

"Our Catcher Can Beat Up Your Metrosexual!"


Okay, so I can’t claim creative rights to that title. I lifted it from a thread on the RemDawg message board. But, really, could it have been put any better? Yesterday’s game really was good. I hadn’t meant to watch it, expecting just sheer agony, but then I got sucked in when I went to see what they were screeching about on the radio. What a brawl! Varitek going after A-Fraud’s prep school class president’s face was perfect. I gleefully created a background for my computer with the picture of that, and was a tad disappointed that A-Fraud’s face wasn’t really all that damaged. The New York Times this morning were quick to pin blame on Varitek, but as I recall it was A-Fraud who waltzed down the line screeching indignant “F*** you!”s at Arroyo. During the actual brawl, though, you’ll be quick to notice Arroyo did not get involved. Considering that the guy looks like he weighs 93 pounds, this was probably a smart decision on his part. Sturtze should’ve been ejected. He went after Kapler’s neck, really, which is a bit odd because it was a very personal attack by a player who doesn’t have any history with Kapler. Lofton’s ejection left many viewers with a collective, “Huh?” And the fact that Kapler and Lofton’s ejection wasn’t announced to us viewers was a bit confusing, as after the brawl they just sort of seemed to evaporate into thin air (well, evaporate after Kapler was standing in the dugout still yelling and gesticulating). When Bellhorn came up to bat in the bottom of the inning, he looked clueless as ever. He probably had no idea that a brawl had even occurred. I don’t even remember him in the brawl (although, given that it was almost the entirety of both benches, it would be easy to lose track of someone). He probably picked up a paper this morning and when he saw that the cover photo for the sports’ section was of Varitek messing up A-Fraud’s smarmy face, yelled to whomever was nearby, “Hey, what’s this about a brawl?” Oh, sorry. He probably doesn’t read newspapers. Oh well, he’d only be joining the majority of America, really. During the bottom of the 5th, Pedro and Manny were deeply involved in a discussion of hair in the dugout. They appeared to be trading hair tips, as Manny fingered his locks, stretching them out to show how their gerri curl is falling out. Pedro said something, and Manny laughed. But Pedro remained looking like a guy who hasn’t slept in a few weeks and needs some botox under the eyes. I know Pedro always looks like he’s about to fall asleep during games, but he just looked ragged and worn down last night. Has he been swapping parasites with Giambi? Speaking of hair tips, A-Fraud the Metro should probably give Matusi some tips on skincare. Matusi looks like he never really got rid of the acne that plagued him when he was fifteen. I thought that Asian men were supposed to not have issues with oily skin. Maybe the Metro could also give Matusi tips on fielding --- Matsui did a very crappy job last night. At the same time as the hair tip swap fest, Millar was picking at his cuticles, and, uhh, apparently eating whatever was there. What, got some chicken caught there? Or have you not been to your manicurist lately? Oh, I got it! You don't have enough money to feed yourself, as Ty Law obviously cannot manage to feed himself on $10 million dollar salary cap. A man like you making $3.3 mil obviously cannot afford to feed himself if Ty Law can't on a $10 mil salary. Tsk, t[...]

The View From Here


Yes, I'm glad that the Sox won their most recent game. Yes, I'm ecstatic that Wakefield got the win. Yes, I'm glad Youkilis got a home run. And, yes, it felt like a good win. But none of this changes the fact that these losers lost two out of three games to the Baltimore Orioles. The seventeen games back, eight games below .500 Baltimore Orioles. These guys suck, and yet they have somehow become a miniature Yankees-style threat. They play the Red Sox, pain abounds for Sox fans. What the hell? What's wrong with this picture? There is just no excuse for this.

Pedro was shelled. Second time this year he's been shelled by the sub-shit Orioles. He had a no-decision in the third game, not a win. So his record is 0-2 against the Orioles. Isn't Pedro supposed to be great and unstoppable? If so, then how come it seems that his greatest obstacle is defeating the Orioles? His ERA stands at 4.01 as a result of the debacle, and the crap Orioles pitcher, Erik Bedard, improved his ERA to 4.04, much to the happy cheers of Orioles fans.

I also believe that, in the past, the Orioles bullpen has been knocked for being awful. Relief pitching for Orioles gave up a total of three runs over nine innings. Boston relief pitching? Seven runs over approximately ten innings. Wow, actually looks like Baltimore's pen is more effective than Boston's... And they don't even have Mendoza. The management of the Orioles had already realized that the trading for Mendoza idea was some weird drug trip (or, rather, Lee Mazzilli's further attempts to help his beloved Yankees out), but I believe that their realization was more than confirmed by Mendoza's performance in relief earlier today. They realized that Mendoza helps the Orioles more by playing for Boston than playing for them. Oh, excuse me, Mendoza helps out all opposing teams when he plays for Boston. It wouldn't suprise me if, in every clubhouse across America, there was some sort of shrine worshipping Mendoza's superb ability to hand games away to the opposing team.

At least tomorrow presents a Schilling-Lieber match-up. Lieber's ERA is 4.82, and the only reason he has a winning record (only by one game, though) is because he happened to have good fielding during most of his winning outings. Schilling, 3.04, heavenly 12-4, is just great no matter how you spin it. So just as long as someone ties Mendoza up and jams him into one of the lockers, making sure that he jams his neck in the process (remember his DL-trip for falling asleep on the clubhouse wall?), the Sox are looking at a good opportunity tomorrow evening.

Of course, given that these are the Sox, they'll figure out some way to screw it up.

Sir, is there something wrong with your jockstrap?


I am ignoring the game for obvious reasons right now. Although the Sox are ahead, and Lowe is no longer pitching, I don't have enough faith, because Lowe games as of late always equal pain, misery, and loss.
Bronson Arroyo is really proving himself as of late. And by late, I mean June and July. It just plain isn't fair that he did not get a win yesterday. 12 strikeouts, and for what? Foulke to screw it up, and than Leskanic to break-down in a Lowe-like fashion. It's a bit suprising Arroyo lasted as long as he did yesterday, though. I thought his arm would be worn out much faster, given how many times the camera caught him re-arranging his jockstrap.
Lowe threw a tanturm a few innings ago after being pulled. For some reason Sox players lately seem to be trying to outdo Milton Bradley. I used to think he was the most psychotic guy in baseball (with Chen Ho Park not too far behind), but I'm beginning to wonder if Lowe might be getting ready to edge him out. Lowe has always had a few screws loose, but his tantrums and rants lately are making Sox fans like me more and more worried. Not that it's really very possible to get more worried than we now are about him, given that every time he pitches many fans fully expect a Sox loss.



Anyone recall a little while back when I expressed doubts about Curt Leskanic? Y'know... the one who gave up FOUR runs in the 11th inning? Granted, if Foulke hadn't given up those runs in the 9th, Leskanic never would've had to pitch. Even so, Leskanic stands at a 1-5 record. In about two of those cases he inherited a rotten situation, but that still leaves three losses that he caused.
I believe Lowe is pitching today, which gives me nightmares. It will be very sad when the Sox end up losing a series to the Mariners. The Mariners are currently 35-56, meaning a win percentage of .385. Yeah, talk about sub-.500 ball.
In other news, the Royals lost last night but had been on a five game winning streak, something that surely caused many heart attacks given that they had had a nine game losing streak just before. But since they lost yesterday, this probably means they will go on something like a 10 game losing streak. They seem to adore to going on short winning streaks, and then long drawn out losing streaks, with some loss-win-loss series somewhere in the mix.
During the game last night, something occured to me. If Ruben Sierra (of the Yankees, obviously), and Justin Leone (of the Mariners) had a gay marriage in Massachusetts, they could both end up with the last name Sierra-Leone.