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Humbug Journal

Score Bard's blog: now verse than ever!

Published: Mon, 2 Feb 2009 20:45:00 PST

Last Build Date: Mon, 2 Feb 2009 00:00:00 PST


Humbug Journal: My Final Take-It-Or-Leave-It Offer

Mon, 2 Feb 2009 20:45:00 PST

Because I'm retainingScott Boras I'll hold out, and not join the chorus Withnewhomes online. If you want me tosign, Bid amil and a golden thesaurus.

Humbug Journal: Offseason Clerihews

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:52:00 PST

A. J. Burnett Cannot yet Rescue the Yankees from third-place finishes, emulating the Carpathia, So they also signed CC Sabathia.

Humbug Journal: Kerry Wood Moves On

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:22:00 PST

Once I began, there was no turning back. Each day, I'd leave the school and walk outside To a portable, a classroom-sized shack Where the fourth graders learned to long divide.

Humbug Journal: Post-season

Wed, 5 Nov 2008 17:12:00 PST

How would it feel to fall if you could fit Within a raindrop? It's a long way down On such a scale. But when at last you hit The street, you just explode into the town.

Humbug Journal: 'Rays in Seven'

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 17:14:00 PST

All teams know comebacks. Some know comebacks well. Those that know them best know it's hard to tell What kind of comeback any game is till Its series ends, as every series will.

Humbug Journal: Humbug TV programming note

Tue, 7 Oct 2008 07:33:00 PST

A friend of mine from my tournament Scrabble scene, Zack Hample, also happens to be the fellow who caught homerun balls at Yankee Stadium on consecutive days last month, as well as the last Mets homer at Shea Stadium.

Humbug Journal: Playoff preview ... of the grass at each stadium

Wed, 1 Oct 2008 19:05:00 PST

Yes, even the mowing patterns of the grass at each stadium gets examined prior to the playoffs, as detailed in this New York Times article.

Humbug Journal: Twins-White Sox Playoff

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 23:23:00 PST

Again the season stretches into this: The gap between the summer and the fall Narrows at last. The space between the wall Our backs were up against was an abyss. Now, desperation blurs to hit-or-miss. The days and weeks and months we fought are all Being wiped out by one flight of the ball. Some fates can be sealed only by death's kiss.

Humbug Journal: What is it about the Orioles and the latter portion of the season?

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:06:00 PST

You may recall a post from last year which detailed the seemingly annual migration of the Orioles to the bottom rungs of the American League East.

Humbug Journal: Pennant Race

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 14:28:00 PST

It's one thing to hear forty thousand boo: Magnifying their sound at someone who Left the team, and as a traitor comes here Again. It's another to hear them cheer.

Humbug Journal: Sean Rodriguez strikes out on a 4-2 pitch

Fri, 5 Sep 2008 09:59:00 PST

A strikeout can put you on base And yet, this still seems out of place: To go down for the count After such an amount Of pitches is a minor disgrace.

Humbug Journal: Stupid Humbug Stat Tricks: Your basic 13-hit shutout Edition

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:00:00 PST

The Phillies completed a four-game sweep of the Dodgers tonight with a 5-0 shutout. What made the shutout special was Philly pitchers gave up 13 hits. Its not often you see a linescore of 0-13-0.

Humbug Journal: Time Trials

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:46:00 PST

London calling: Ni hao, it's Beijing. Why don't you answer the phone when we ring? I've been trying to call you for a day. Oh? Did you factor in the time delay?

Humbug Journal: Midnight, Cleveland

Mon, 4 Aug 2008 07:22:00 PST

I do get a scorecard, eventually, But the shock on his face was plain to see. A scorecard. Writing's mimed. For keeping score. At last, I'm directed to the team store. Perhaps it's then that I start tempting fate: Detroit-Cleveland, 7/30/08 I do what many do, and few admit: Wait for each team's first baserunner, first hit. As always, I'm chastised by inner shame. What are the odds you'll see a perfect game? You can't sustain the belief you will need To witness that requires too much greed. But I cannot give up, and will not yield To the unknown players above the field. I can, however, compromise, and my Request's a game worth loving. They comply. After one and a half, neighbor fans mention The perfect game. Of course, verbal attention Ends that. Hit follows hit, run follows run. Hey, they can't start an inning after one, I laugh and point out as I'm idly reading. To joke about extras when you are leading By seven runs seems safe enough. And yet, In baseball, it never feels safe to bet. Hubris is part of fandom. Which is worse? The dread determinism of a curse? Unknowable randomness of those who Watch from beyond the stadium? Or you- Driven by some delusion, in control? Of course, other fans mean you're not the sole Influence. But after the Cleveland crowd Goes home, and it's Tiger fans who are loud As finals from the West Coast trickle in And finally, Detroit pulls out the win- Well, I won't take the blame for the defeat. I got to witness an unsurpassed feat 2B-no: 1B/E7-no, what? It was, indeed, a game worth loving, but I wanted Cleveland to win. They did not. Does the lack of the victory I sought Mean that I'm off the hook, and that I can Relax? Or didn't wish enough? A fan Is rarely only that. So I'll go on, But my delusions never will be gone. Though I will laugh at them, they will not leave. Part of me dreams of power-and I believe.

Humbug Journal: Notes on a Three-Way

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:08:13 PST

The Red Sox had to overpay To make their problem go away. The good news is that Jason Bay Is in Boston, not a Ray.