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Preview: It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or

Updated: 2018-03-05T15:35:25.914-08:00


More Mets Related Bad News


 certainly on the way, but it's not as though I've stopped blogging! You can catch what my mom calls my genius in small doses by following me @itsmetsforme on Twitter.

Yes, I should have told you loyal readers a year ago that I was doing this, but, well it's embarrassing. Anyhow, your subscription money is in a safe place and I can assure you that the effects of recent legal eventualities will not affect my baseball operations. Texting and Facebook are fads so you want to get on that Twitter right away: it's where the action is. And there are plenty of great writers delivering quips and quotes about the Mets over there, so it won't be a total waste. It's where friend of the blog Alyssa Milano regularly shares pictures of her sandwich art. Also Twitter hides tiny cameras on your dinnerware so they can watch you at all times.

Do the Metz have a Reyes of Hope for the Future?


 Omen or Oh man?  Jose's Threads Join Krod and Beltran in the Mets Clubhouse Reduced Rack

This is going to be an odd off season. The Mets are firing staff, the brass is making noises about cutting payroll. And yet fans still hold out for a Reyes return. So I wanted to share this sad picture with you.

Talk about blowing the whole thing up and Sandy-fying the roster is still just talk. For instance, if the Mets believe that moving and painting the walls will matter, then it doesn't make sense to trade Wright this winter before seeing if the renovations ignite the slugging percentages. Or more likely, the Wilpons will have just added more empty, expensive seats to the empty expensive seats they already have. But I won't be shocked if a rebuilding project is the new reality. Let's get some pitching at least.

A Mets Fan's Humble Contribution: Revenue Raising Ideas


Now that the hated Cardinals and their disgusting Molinas are back in the World Series and we know they will somehow win because that's the way it goes for Mets fans, it is time to give up on baseball for the year. After another triumphant year in the history books for the Mets franchise, I vote we turn the page and re-focus our energies on the "next year" we are always waiting for. The Wilpon/Saul team seems likely to retain ownership, so my dream of a fresh new start is forestalled. I now realize that class warfare isn't right, and we all need to pitch in to help these millionaires get things done. So instead of the usual unhelpful complaining that has dominated this space in years past, I decided to come up with a four point plan, one that I like, to add to the budget and perhaps even fatten the Wilpon wallets in time for the winter hot stove. First thing's first: the Mets need some bankroll. Here are my suggestions:1. Advertisements on the empty seats: Much has been made of how the Mets lucrative advertising partnerships, for instance with "Send in the Clowns" party rentals, reflect a certain business savvy you just don't see every day. It's time to take the next logical step. Start with the Mets main asset: Thousands of attractive, empty seats. In any given inning, most fans at Citi are waiting in the Shake Shack line and the rest are watching football in the Caesars Club. Moreover, by the end of the next season, the Mets may be able to make more on seat advertising then they can make actually having a person occupy the seat. The Mets control the TV cameras, and SNY viewers are already used to lengthy broadcast interludes where they do not see any action on the baseball diamond. So the seats can be rigged with mini billboards promoting baseball relevant brands, or perhaps dynamic flashing light patterns that sell car insurance. And in the off chance some fan should show up to sit for some reason, don't panic! There is the easy workaround of throwing an advertisement tshirt on them while the camera rolls. All this adds up to sure-fire revenue.2. Sell part of the team to a local celebrity: This should be obvious. With New York City's star power, I'm sure Saul and the boys can find a celebrity willing to invest for the opportunity to get sweet tickets to see the Yankees play in the Subway Series? If they hit up Jay Z first, and work their way down to Beyonce, the ownership is sure to find someone willing to guarantee seats to see the Yankees when they come to Citi.3. Date Mr. Met mascot outreach program: There are a lot of lonely single New Yorkers. And there really is only one element of the Mets product that remains popular with the fans. The Wilpons would be advised to monetize it and sell dates with Mr Met. Fun chants like "Does the carpet match the drapes?" can be directed at Mr Met. A sexy singles night, maybe featuring a wet t-shirt cannon, could heighten the fan experience as well. And Mr Met is already aroused. I think I've said enough. 4. Downgrade mascot: However, if #3 doesn't pan out (or if it works too well), the Wilpons are going to need to go a different direction. Mr Met costs something like $35,000 a season in upkeep, and frankly, this money could be going into player salaries for the kind of players Anderson is looking at. Or at least some risky financial scheme. After cutting ties with Mr Met, the Mets can either promote from the minors, or have Kevin Burkhardt deliver his incisive comments in the bottom half of a chicken suit while spending the innings entertaining fans.[...]

Odds and Ends: Just Like the Wilpon's Finances and PR Strategy


Wilpolooza Continues...

*Sports Illustrated and Tom Verducci seem to have gotten scooped in terms of Fred Wilpon bombshells. Freddy's comments on his team's finances in the SI piece are more frightening--downright dire--but his musings on his players are muted:
Speaking about the Mets' prospects of improving with a smaller payroll, Wilpon said, "If we're fortunate enough, [catcher Josh] Thole can be the kind of player we think he can be. [First baseman Ike] Davis keeps progressing. Whoever is at second base progresses as a young player. The shortstop [Reyes] -- I know there's a great question about whether we can keep the shortstop, so we're preparing for that if that should happen. [Third baseman] David [Wright] we hope gets on track. [Outfielder Jason] Bay is good guy and a professional. Pagan comes back and he's not a totally expensive guy. Beltran will be elsewhere. We hope [Fernando] Martinez can take that spot. Now, he's fragile but he can hit."
Thus far, Fred's magazine tour is going swimmingly. Looking forward to what Popular Science, Juggs and the National Review can drag out of Fred in the coming months.

*You can listen in as Jose Reyes tries to answer the media with limited English skills: "He's the boss, he can say whatever he wants." Is the team shitty? "I don't know, because we believe in each other in this clubhouse." He doesn't care for an apology and...he can't "put too much stuff in his head."

Camera Kid doesn't deserve this shit.

The Freddy Fiasco is overshadowing a few important developments elsewhere on the interwebs, like:

More evidence that Lenny Dykstra was always bat shit crazy, as rediscovered by America's most well known teen exploitation/sports blog.

Statistics. If you're curious about the currently most popular way to evaluate defensive performance, check out this primer on UZR.

Gary Carter's situation, which we will know more about on Thursday

Right Says Fred? Schmuck in New York Reveals Next Stage of Met's Blogger Outreach Program


2012 Mets Slogan revealedBefore I weigh in on the latest Fred Wilpon-related shit storm, let me request that you wake me when Saul "LOL" Katz does a profile in a literary magazine; it is my understanding he is the brains behind the operation anyway. Or, as we now know, he has the big balls behind the organization.First, some optimism. One take would be to ignore the bluster and outrage from the Met fanboys and girls and believe that Fred Wilpon's off-hand comments quoted in the New Yorker this week revealed not how out of touch and impolitic he can be, but the organization's commitment to blogger outreach. Fred is more sophisticated than we give him credit for, cleverly using the hated mainstream media to send blog hits into the stratosphere.  Thank you Fred! Thank you!!On the face of it, it looks like Freddy acquiesced to a participating in a largely sympathetic, positive profile that could help refurbish his image in light of the lawsuit ("I can see this team sucks and our stars have been disappointments and maybe I could have eased up on the Dodgers stuff when opening Citi"), then made the mistake of being quoted at games speaking a snide version of the truth. Jose Reyes' bizarre injury history will probably scare away the big dollars, David Wright's star has dimmed, and Carlos Beltran's contract, at least in terms of time lost to injuries, has been a disappointment. None of this, even his less than loving assessment of Beltran, is that controversial if you see it from the owner's perspective: on the field Beltran has been a revelation but injuries have made the contract much less valuable than it could have been. That is sacrilegious perspective, but pretty much true. Of course, good luck finding a Met fan that won't lay the blame on the Mets' brass, Citi field architects, medical team, and ownership for the Apple Core's disappointment. The fan base, particularly emotional after the first ritual humiliation by the Yankees of the season, is not taking this too kindly. The more rational commentators are pissed too. Chief lobbyist Adam Rubin interprets it as a "pathetic" Wilpon taking shots at his stars summing it up thus: "Wilpon decides to mock nearly all of his top players, while comparing his team to a pile of poop." James K at AA has had it with the Mets dragging down their best players as though they were responsible for the Mess: Wilpon is a disgrace. What is most difficult about being a critic of the Mets is that the team itself, through its various representatives, constantly outflanks those trying to make the case against them. There is almost no way to stir controversy about this team by making an outrageous, unfounded criticisms. Think Fred Wilpon is a buffoon? Here's some proof! Where is the fun in that? The Mets seem to be on the constant look out for more egregious, embarrassing, and ponderous ways to humiliate themselves and their fans, be it essentially taking TARP money to sponsor their stadium during the most dire financial crisis of our lifetimes, accusing their critics in the media of wanting to join their organization, backing down when their "closer" who commits a violent felony in the family lounge, or searching for the biggest bus to throw their players under. The Wilpons pride themselves on their judgement of character, yet their star pitcher might be a rapist, their closer is a violent felon (did I mention that already?), their de facto banker is serving a 150 yr. sentence, their clubhouse manager seems to have been a common get the picture.The Wilpons can't do anything right, but when they're wrong, they make it count: even the circumstances of their firings are ignominious. In a sad, sick way, that is what makes the contemporary Mets such a fascinating study. But that doesn't make it surprising. What is really new here in the latest Wilpon blunder? What should we worry about? Well I'd say the following:As far as the past goes, we now know that the Mets paid Carlos[...]

Odds and Ends, in Honor of the Mets' 2011 Rotation



In a lost season such as this, fans and media are going to have to find something to discuss. The Alderson regime's impending dismantling of this sad sack group of underachievers, following an off-season of benign neglect, is on everybody's minds. The question that sells papers and banner ads is when Sandy's fire sale will get underway. Jose Reyes' looming free agency seems to be this week's story: will Sandy be able to or even want to re-sign the impish on-base challenged oft-injured human embodiment of the joy of baseball? In light of the team's finances and current basement residency, there is probably no reason for optimism that Alderson will make the kind of investment in Reyes needed to keep him. Now that the shortstop is healthy, his season is shaping up to be classic Jose with all the good and bad that entails. Old media might exagerate his bone-headedness, but the some of the younger commentator/enthusiasts out that there want to stick their heads in the sand about Jose's occasional lack of focus also have a creditability problem.

For the old guard's perspective, here's the Post's Mushnick:
* For all his talent Jose Reyes, at 27, still too often approaches the game like a T-Baller.
In the second inning Saturday, Reyes was picked off by the catcher because he paid zero attention as he meandered back to first. In the seventh, score tied and Reyes on second, he was thrown out at third on a ball hit to . . . shortstop!
Ron Darling, on Ch.11, spoke the self-evident: Inexcusable, “at this point in his career.”
Still, we’re told that Reyes’ enthusiasm is “infectious.” Is there a doctor in the house?

As much as it will pain me to watch Reyes work his magic for another team and then sign with the Yankees next season, I have to guess that Alderson has realized the Mets can finish in last place just as easily without Jose and will try to get some useful pieces for him at the trade deadline this season. This despite the fact that Alderson has noted that Mets fans "do not seem so disillusioned when cheering for" Jose. (Isn't that something?) I won't be surprised if Alderson rebuilds this team in his image once the finances are sorted out. Isn't that what we want?

Is it me or is it nearly f$#@! impossible to find a simple recap video on MLB's website? They break the damn games into a million highlights, I guess to appeal to all those baseball fans with a short attention spans (?!?) No one wants to see this piecemeal bullshit. The recaps need to be front and center, not buried or hidden amongst useless game fragments. But as with most things MLB, I can only shake my tiny fist because the MLB doesn't give a rats ass what its customers want.

When will MLB fans get sick of being gouged?  Pretty soon.

Is any pitcher afraid to face David Wright,  representing the tying run with two out in the bottom of the ninth? Why?

These Mets do pretty well against other lousy teams. But last place seems to suit them.

Support the National Brain Tumor Society Just By Going to Citi


Think about supporting a good cause by buying tickets to a baseball game in late May using the link below. Yeah, you have to watch the Mets in all probability get taken apart by the Phillies, but it is still baseball, and if you attend in this way, there'd be a point to your suffering.


May 28, 2011
7:10 PM

Here is the announcement, via the National Brain Tumor Society website: 
Join us for a New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies game for brain tumor awareness!  Tickets are available for the Pepsi Porch Seats (which includes Caesars and Promenade Club access) or Promenade Reserved Seats.

A portion of each ticket sold will benefit the NBTS when purchased through the following link:

Selig to Appoint McCourts to Takeover NY Mets


"It was either this, or prayer"

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig topped off a busy week of meddling on Friday by appointing Jamie and Frank McCourt as trustees of the NY Metropolitans. "It is clear to me both that the Mets franchise is in need of rescue, and the McCourts deserve a second chance," said Selig in a prepared statement, "and there really are no other options in any event." Major League baseball, according to reports, had tried for some weeks to find a competent entity to take over the daily operations of the Mets franchise, but had made no progress until the McCourts were freed up from their roles in running the Los Angeles franchise. "This one is a no brainer, even for a guy who presided over years of obvious substance abuse in the national past time, made countless children cry, and once called an all-star game a tie," said a spokesman for Selig.  Selig conceded that, informed of the plan, the Mets previous management team had its reservations, but he argued that "the Wilpons admitted privately that they really have no idea how to win or turn a profit," and pointed to the Dodgers continued on-field success amidst chaos as evidence of the McCourt's savvy.

In a statement to the media, the McCourts expressed optimism and gratitude for the second opportunity.  Frank McCourt said that "honestly, we were hoping to take over a more stable franchise like Toronto or Pittsburgh," but the parking lot baron noted the fine work of the former management under the Wilpons to use their TARP funded stadium to celebrate a former Dodgers star. Looking around the Citi field rotunda, McCourt indicated to reporters what he called "the perfect spot for a Sandy Koufax statue." Jamie McCourt added "we think running the Mets will really strengthen our relationship because we won't need to worry so much about accountability" and "plus there is really good shopping just a few minutes away from Flushing." According to sources with knowledge of things, the McCourt's priorities include "fixing the ridiculous dimensions of that park," relaxing restrictions on fan alcohol consumption and violence, wooing Manny Ramirez out of retirement, and "getting Ron Darling on some kind of weight loss and flexibility program." Paul DePodesta could not be reached for comment.

America loves a second chance.

What's My Opinion of Tulowitzki's Performance? Collins Needs to Go All Lasorda on Us


Does this man hold the our entertainment?

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the Mets we have seen so far (somehow worse than ever) are the Mets as they truly are, give or take a false-hope inducing streak or two. Let's also admit, that to put it in the most sensitive terms possible, the Mets are finally "rebuilding." The D'ohfense is streaky to non-existent as usual. The defense is laughable to uninspired. Their ace is injured and some significant portion of the fanbase has deluded itself into believing that a journeyman knuckleball pitcher, refined as he may be, can backbone this same sorry sack of losers into contention. The Mets won't be spending any money soon and the team could very well be sold. And it is probably only a matter of time before the management starts to float the argument that the team can finish in last place just as easily without David Wright and Jose Reyes. The consequence of these lean times is that we are going to see some awful baseball this season, and perhaps even experience a new level of misery when the Mets rid themselves of their best players. That is not entertaining.

Tommy has helped us before.

So what can we hope for in the way of entertainment? I submit that "fiery" new Mets fall guy manager Terry Collins holds the key to any satisfaction Mets fans are likely to enjoy this year. What I am calling for is some cathartic ranting, some truly out of control tirades from our manager. Does screaming at the players, media or fans raise the team winning percentage or accomplish anything at all?  Of course not. But, in an important way, Terry's ass is covered because there is no way any one is going to say this team has "quit" on Terry, not with the start the team has gotten off to. To "quit" you have to actually start, start playing baseball in this case. What kind of screaming yelling, reporter demeaning, buffet attacking awesomeness would I like to see from Collins? For inspiration, Terry need look no further than Tommy Lasorda whose colorful rants can and should be sampled here. Some fans hated it when Jerry Manuel would woo the beat reporters with his maniacal cackling, but funny stories might just help us get through the next few months.

Yer 2011 Mets: Boyer Dey Bad


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 Goats Galore!!

This team is looking more like a team that can't even meet the drastically diminished expectations we have for them. After nine games against their main competition in the NL East, we see most of the same qualities we recognize from the past few years. Plus, the starters have been bailing early and the relief pitching hasn't stepped up, probably because they're not capable. Terry Collins didn't endear himself to fans Sunday leaving Duda in right field when the big defensively challenged lug seemed a candidate for defensive replacement. Duda might be better off carrying a bat into right field than a glove.

Maybe this guy was the culprit!

Either way, Mets fans can be forgiven for wishing this mediocre team could just blow games in regulation time. The sad performances in winnable games make me frustrated. The extra innings just make me mad. No one is throwing in the towel yet, but that might be because none off us can muster the energy or enthusiasm.

Not a "Real" Fan?


Maybe you missed this story, but the picture above is of a Giants fan who dared purchase tickets and attend a game in enemy territory. Santa Clara paramedic Bryan Stow suffered a severely fractured skull and damage to the frontal lobe of his brain when he was attacked in the Dodger Stadium parking lot last week.  According to the reports that we have, this all happened because he was wearing Giants gear. This is just one example of what is fucking shameful about our nation's past time.I heard on the radio that the traumatized family has made a statement to the effect that the appreciate the support they have received from Dodgers fans since the incident, and that the assailants weren't "real" Dodger fans.Unfortunately, I need to report that in my decade of attending games at Dodger Stadium, the aggressive violent attitude is exactly reflective of "real" Dodger fans. I once attended (naively) a Dodgers-Giants game sitting in the cheap seats and watched horrified, while Dodger fans--once known for their detached mildness-- taunted and pelted two groups, an old man with a Giants jacket on and a couple with a baby sitting next to them in the seat, with various items and beer. Did I throw my body in the path of the projectiles?  No, but I did write a letter to the editor of the crappy local paper the LA Times (which was ignored).Maybe it is time for all of us to do a little more. It is unlikely we are going to get help from the individual clubs or Major League baseball. The Dodgers, for their part, want us to believe that these acts were the acts of lone thugs, not in anyway representative of Dodger fans.  Of course, they want no part of responsibility for crowd control in their own parking lot (this despite the price of parking at times over the last 10 yrs. at times eclipsing the price of actual seats). But stadium security at Dodger Stadium has been a joke for years and years--useless teens in the parking lots, ineffective and oblivious dopes "watching" the stands. The Dodgers don't want to spend the money on an extra security presence, it is as simple as that and as a result, I don't feel remotely safe there. And Dodger fans--once known for showing up late, leaving early, and being generally disinterested-- have been increasingly accepting of boorish, and even violent behavior. Bud Selig, that joke of a commissioner, should take this seriously and kickstart an effort to change the atmosphere at games. Since Selig probably doesn't have the intellectual wherewithal to do this alone, I offer the slogan, "Reclaim the Game" (from the animals) as a starting point. If you need pictures of animal fans for the campaign, just google "average Philadelphia Phillies fan." You're welcome Bud.What can be done? In my opinion, the implied or open threat of violence at many baseball games across the country is something that should appalling to all baseball lovers. The ranks of fans are filled, just like the ranks of humankind, with drunks, boors, and amateurs who look towards an evening at the park as an opportunity to bother others and act out their violent fantasies. It is these people that we baseball lovers should scorn, criticize and let know that we think their behavior is more suited to gatherings among their kin, state penitentiary, or wrestling events. Clubs want to make money on alcohol sales, no matter how irresponsible that might be. They also want us to imagine the ball park as an oasis from the rat race and a place for family fun. They also want us to show our colors by purchasing preposterously expensive team gear. What do we ask for in return?  The magic of live baseball. When we give franchises a pass on security, or laugh at these assholes chants and provocations, or look the other way when they threaten others' physical security, [...]

Cole Hamels ERA 20.25


Phillies' OG Ace Assumes the Position

Questek for Your Baseball Library: New York Mets 50 Amazin' Seasons: The Complete Illustrated History



When the 1962 Mets were 0-9, a psychologist writing in the New York Times weighed in on the inner life of the new team's fans: "becoming emotionally involved with them is a kind of masochism. A kind of painless flagellation."

We now know that the prescient doctor had that half right: it is flagellation but it is by no means painless. Matthew Silverman's handsome new volume New York Mets 50 Amazin' Seasons: The Complete Illustrated History (MVP Books, 2011) can be seen as a celebration of the good doctor's naivete, and perhaps fuel for the silly hope at the core of every Met fan's psyche.

The book would be great to page through after one of the dispiriting loses characteristic of the waning years of the "New Mets"era, letting the thereputic memories of Seaver, Keith, Alfonzo, Olerud, and Robin wash over you. Or Mookie, the Kid, Tug and Rickey if that is more your taste. Or, more ignominiously, Nails, Kaz, Anthony Young, and Mr. Koo.

Silverman does a nice job arranging reproductions of team ephemera and high gloss photos around a smooth narrative of Mets history. Occasionally, he captures key Met moments with eloquent economy, such as the "long winter" that followed the Mets loss to the Yankees in the 2000 World Series where devastating memories are "recurring images flickered in darkened bedrooms late at night." Or explaining Cleon Jones' dark 1973 and the story behind his mutiny against Yogi Berra over an unrevealed injured leg taping: "The stubborn Jones did not tell his manager, and his manager drew a line in the sand, which the Mets hierarchy soon stuck their head in."

The layout is pleasing to the eye, the text peppered but not cluttered by info boxes, and there is a handy all time record book in the back of the book. When "meaningful games" return to Flushing during some future fall, perhaps fueled by the players in the book's last few pictures (Ike, Dickey), we now have a coffee table book up to the task of placing our small successes in their historical context, while tempering our enthusiasm.

Verdict: If you don't have a coffee table, you may want to get one so you have somewhere to put this beautiful book. (Note: don't buy a glass table since after all you are a Mets fan).  The book can be purchased on Amazon.

Los Angeles Mets Fans Gather for Safety, Enjoyment


Things don't always go this great for LA area Mets fans.

Life in Los Angeles can be brutal. For instance, temperatures this weekend may dip down into the 50s. There is no really good pizza. Plus you could go to Dodgers Stadium and be shot, stabbed, or get the crap beat out of you for wearing the wrong cap.  But if you are a Met fan in the Southland, you have to know there is a hearty band of Los Angeles area Metropolitan aficionados that, against all odds, gets together most Sundays to root for Fred Wilpon's second favorite team together.

Dodger fans are vicious and brutal and their howls scare the children.

The Greater Los Angeles New York Mets Fans Sports Bar Club, now entering its fourth year of fellowship and futility, will be having its inaugural meeting tomorrow. So come brunch and watch the powerful Met offense score in bunches against the stinking Fish of Florida.

Sunday April 3, 2011
10 AM

1351 3rd Street Promenade Santa Monica, CA 

Opening D'oh: Mets Are Bucked


The Mets will need to deal with NL East superstars like this guy

The season is one game in and the Mets are already in midseason form--shaky defense, absentee offense, and good-but-not-good-enough pitching. And now we can look forward to reading about the Phillies' gritty triumphs and the impending departure of Jose Reyes all season. There's a lot of baseball left, of course, but tonight at least, that seems like a grueling proposition. Even in a season of diminished expectations, it is going to be tough to watch this team suck wind in the same old ways. The Phillies, Br*ves, and Marlins are all better than the Mets for sure, but the Mets should be able to give those Natinals a run for their money.

Beltran in 2008: "We are the team to beat."
Beltran in 2011: “We’re going to surprise people, that’s for sure.

As we wait for a better outcome, we still do have Omar Minaya to kick around a little. The Mets retain Omar as a fan, even if he is still clueless:
“Look, obviously, Luis Castillo and Ollie Perez didn’t work out,” he said of the second baseman and pitcher who were finally cut adrift this past month, at considerable ongoing cost. “But I can’t tell you in retrospect I wouldn’t have done it,” he added.

This kind of crap has no place in baseball. Dodgers fans are pretty terrible for a west coast team, but the stadium's crowd control and security has always been an embarrassment.

We want a hit. A charming expression of the timeless Met fan refrain Jon Springer has recovered for your listening pleasure.

Sterling Enterprises Announces New Partnership: Financial Worries in the Rearview Mirror Says Wilpon


For Mother's Day/Breast cancer awareness day!
Ending months of speculation regarding the Mets financial situation, the Wilpon Family proudly announced today that they are partnering with in an effort to raise capital in order to continue the proud family tradition of Mets ownership. As Jeff Jr. Wilpon, who headed the negotiation team, explained, "We feel the really low expectations of Mets fans--thanks to our family's history of baffling management decisions, corporate malfeasance, and general incompetence--really gave us cover to make a partnership deal that would embarrass most major league franchises outside of Kansas City and Florida."

Mets mascot gets behind his team!
"Looking around the marketplace, truckballs seem to be just the thing," Wilpon continued, "a perfect match with both the esteem in which Sterling enterprises is held in the financial community, and real value of our franchise. With this new revenue stream, Mets fans can ease their minds that the franchise will remain safely under the Wilpon family control for ever."

The Mets were mum on some of their future plans, but did release several high gloss photos of the possibilities for leveraging the fine Metropolitan brand in the near future.

Artist conception of possible product synergies

The Wilpons look towards a future of lucrative automotive related product development

Goin' (for) Broke: Have You Heard the Good News?



Take a break from fretting about Carlos Beltran's knees to recognize the spectacular times we live in. Yes things are so crazy that Will Leitch actually gets the Mets (partially) right in his latest paid writing enterprise. In "The Moneyball Mets," uber-blogger, founder of the leading sports exploitation/humiliation website, noted Mets-no-nothing, and Phillies ass fetishist argues that going broke may be the best thing that has happened to the Mets in some time. Raising and dismissing the possibility that Sandy Alderson was baited and switched (i.e. had no warning of the financial cloud that sits over the franchise) when he agreed to take over, the article suggests Alderson could remake the Steve Phillips/Omar Minaya Mets along the lines the "moneyball with money" model followed by the Red Sox.

One thing is clear: the Mets have the right management in place to face the next few years of almost certain financial malaise. Decisions made under fiscal pressure, and made by far more savvy planners, may just be the thing to finally align the performance of NY Metropolitans franchise with their large market spending clout.

The other positive way of looking at this: if the Mets are in as deep shit as reports suggest, the Wilpons might have to sell the club. You know, dropping value, surging losses, potential legal ruination. The only calamity yet to befall the befuddled Wilpons is a global shortage of orange and blue dye. But even a more cash poor Mets still need to put fannies in the seats, and if they do end up doing something stupid and Minayan to address this reality, I sure hope it is a big contract for Albert Pujols, who can play out his post-steroidal golden years in Flushing for all I care. (Leitch once predicted as much.)

Everyone has their favorite Oliver Perez Met moment. Here is mine:

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H/T Oh Murph

Long Natinal Nightmare Just Beginning


 God is not a Met fan.

The Washington Generals Natinals have just signed Oliver Perez to a minor league deal.

And with that statement, I return to regular Mets blarging. My pursuit of this vocation has suffered from catastrophe-inspired lack of inspiration regarding the Mets, numerous professional turmoils, and also having lost the password for this blog. We have a lot to catch up on in time for the cavalcade of mediocrity that is sure to be the Mets 2011 season.

Mets Make Off-Season Moves to Improve (Legal) Defense


 Is a Potsie scheme coming into focus?Perhaps sensing that Metsfans are the only constituency who will accept at face value the idea that the Wilpon's incompetence could outweigh their mendacity, the Mets have started harassing me over the email with protestations of innocence regarding the Madoff lawsuit affair:The Trustee's lawsuit is an outrageous "strong arm" effort to try to force a settlement by threatening to ruin our reputations and businesses which we have built for over 50 years. This is a flagrant abuse of the Trustee's authority and we will not succumb to his pressure. The conclusions in the complaint are not supported by the facts. While they may make for good headlines, they are abusive, unfair and untrue. We categorically reject them. We should not be made victims twice over - the first time by Madoff, and again by the Trustee's action.The Wilpons may be involved in a Potsie scheme here, thinking Madoff was really cool just because he said: "Aaaaaaaaaayy." In any event, the legalese in this email strikes me as reeking of desperation. After what they done to me, I have a hard time thinking of the Wilpons as victims, at least a harder time than I do sympathizing with folks like Elyse S. Goldweber who lost their entire retirement savings. But is this whole thing one more bumbling episode in the Wilpon's reign? Or a catastrophe that may lead to a Wilpon endgame?The Mets three wisemen: what will they do next? (Photo: NY Times)As far as I can see, it is entirely possible that in the coming months we will learn the Wilpons were in on the fraudulent scheme, as the lawsuit alleges. Compelling information could come out that the Wilpons were not the victims they have painted themselves as. I can easily imagine a whistle-blower emerging any minute now--surely someone in the Wilpon's employ must have seen something sensational that would get them a couple of bucks from the NY Post. Such revelations would be the kind of mother of all public relations disasters for owners that seem to have mastered the form. It is also then possible that the Mets will need to be sold to a (hopefully more competent) ownership group, and potential buyers from the sublime to the ridiculous have started to poke the media."Martin Luther King Jr. died for the common man to do better in his life"..."That sort of legacy is going to take hold here." --Larry Meli, TV executive in group with MLK III interested in buying the Mets. What are we to make of this quote? It is either highly offensive to the MLK legacy, or highly foreboding for the Mets future, I think. I guess there are worse owners than the Wilpons out there somewhere, but I admit to being curious about whether new blood would lift the 25 year dark cloud from over this franchise. Some of my wonderful readers have been helping my self-esteem by clamoring for new winter content, but I really have no clue where this is headed. Is Madoff going to be remembered by Met historians as the man who broke the Mets, or the man who liberated the fanbase from a mediocre ownership? I ask you here: what do you guys think is going to happen?[...]

Fifty Ways Lose to Philly: A Reply to Mark Simon


To show that no good deed goes unpunished, I want to take this opportunity to supply something that might sober up the well-meaning Mark Simon, who methinks has had a little too much eggnog. Over the past 3 years, we have seen the Mets lose in every conceivable way and some that were not so conceivable. Now that that the Alderson administration is in place we can look back and laugh. Can't we?  Here I present, inspired, as everything I do, by this immortal post...

50 Ways the Mets Lose to Philly (and everyone else)
sung if necessary to the tune of Paul Simon's Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover (1975)...

Get triple-played, Dave.
Watch things get hairy, Terry.
Utley touches 'em all, Paul.
Mets wiff at Halladay, Bay.
...and take your base free.

Watch 'em trade for Lee, Gee. 
Reyes OBP takes a dip, Chip.
Drop a pop fly, Guy (Conti).
Slip Wright a mickey, Dickey
...and rebuild again.

Misuse the pen, Dan Warthen
Play the field like hell, Oberkfell
Build a weak roster, George Foster.
Ollie's on the lawn, Pagan.
...and trade the core.

Get shut down by a Cuban, Rueben.
Eat too much pre-game Gouda, Duda.
End the game with a K, R.A.
Management fail, Hale.
...and leave fans unhappy.

Get beat by Shane, John Maine.
Hurlers can't hit a barn, Parns. 
On the final day at Shea, Reyes.
No hit through seven, Nick Evans. bad to believe.

Santana gets hit unholy, Thole.
Mets LOOGY has nada, Tejada.
that Howard's a beast, Niese.
Surrender to the Fish, Misch.
...and take your base free.

Top 10 Possible Mets Jobs for Omar Minaya



Omar Minaya, only recently relieved of his duties as Mets GM after what some believe is a stunning reign of error, is back in the news. Reports are surfacing that Minaya will  meet with Mets GM Sandy Alderson next year to discuss a potential new role in the organization that is still paying him as far as I know.  With Alderson at least pretending to search for a spot in the Mets organization for the beleaguered ex-honcho, we have to start the speculation. Will Minaya take his talents back to Flushing, and can the organization survive such a misstep? Here are just a few possible titles Minaya might be offered, to get the conversation started.

10. assistant to the Assistant Regional Bumbler

9. Bobby Bonilla liaison

8. Citifield visiting team bullpen groundsman

7. (new) head of promotional video, ticket sales division

6. coordinator of fan zen training program

5. Mr. Met fluffer

4. Shirtless executive trainer/Saul Katz speech writer (part time)

3. Oliver Perez contract (currency to lollipops and hugs) fulfillment officer

2. Terry Collins tie selection committee/personal shopper

1. Kevin Burkhardt location scout team leader

As a loyal employee, Minaya takes the cake.

Welcome back, Omar!

OK Cerrone Cerrone Whatever Will Be Will Be


Of all the things we could be blogging about, the Mets are the most painful. At the risk of coming off as flat and off-putting as a Michael Jordan t-shirt commercial, I'm gonna make one last foray into the Met-a blogger access debate, one that has now joined by none other than the godfather of Mets blogging, Matthew Cerrone, yesterday on his prominent website.I have to say,  I take mild offense at Cerrone's post, not because I think that in addressing this topic, he should have acknowledged my small, immature gag blog, or taken my argument seriously, but because instead he managed to link to Andy Martino, who recently swore he'd cover spring training in a grape smuggler.  That smarts, man. Fair or not, the subtext I'm getting is that he doesn't get out of bed to interact with you unless your circulation is impressive, no pun intended. I'm going to go ahead and link to him, show his writing some love with the 3 to12 hits he'll now doubtless get from my curious reader(s) and extended family (heavy snark) to try to repay his magnanimity over the years to his blogging colleagues (no snark).  Matthew Cerrone, you're welcome (lite snark).Yes, I took some subtle and juvenile shots in my last couple posts (I'm dangerous like that), but by and large I do not like to criticize my fellow maternal cellar dwellers. In fact, for the little it is worth, I have often defended Mr. Cerrone in chats and on blogs from what I see as personal attacks.  His blog was the main inspiration for me to start my own electronic diary, as I'm sure it was for many, so I want to be clear that nothing I say should be taken as ignoring his accomplishments or generosity. Plus, I don't know him personally--he seems like a swell guy.  Cerrone is unquestionably one of the 3-5 most important figures in Mets blargosphere history, but this also makes what he writes that much more important. I think he can take the criticism of a novelty sports blog is what I'm saying. So I want to talk about his post, "Mets, Blogs, Media and Access" and since this is an asymmetrical encounter (as Matt mentions, he gets "3.5 million page views per month" whereas I have somewhere north of 350,000 in total--I think this means that I'd have to blog for 50 years to get the number of hits he gets in a month, but you do the math) and Matthew ignores my argument (that we need to pay special attention to access issues because the ascendancy of blogs has undermined the old sources of authority without providing new ones) altogether anyway, I will confine myself to a few, probably wasted, words on the main points in Matthew's post, which for my money is as wrong as Roger Cedeno in center.First, I'd say his post exhibits a fundamental misunderstanding--chalk it up to a willful naivete, or impenetrable ideological commitments, only Matthew knows for sure--of the way power works.  Much of his response to the access issue reads as though it was written by someone stung by past unfair criticisms, and I don't think this is unreasonable on his part. As I said, much of the flak I've seen directed his way in the last five years is off base. But here is some flak I think his writing deserves: 1) Web 2.0 blarg! Content in the world of Web 2.0 is a meritocracy, and so if the majority of my readers didn’t feel I was honest or authentic enough as a Mets fan, and I no longer fulfilled something for them, if my harshest critics are correct, people would have stopped reading, MetsBlog would stop growing,[...]

Amazin' Access? Further Notes from an Irrelevant Hollywood Novelty Sports Blogger


  Hey Metsfans, who would you rather show at your next Christmas party me (pictured on right) or that guy?This might be in poor taste, coming as Mets bloggers excitedly celebrate their inclusion at the Mets Christmas party festivities (full disclosure: I was not invited, however I was invited by exclusive email to save 10% off my entire order), but I thought I would kill a few more internet trees by reacting to reactions to my modest proposal that it could happen here, a conversation wiped for the most part off the blargosphere map by the general Lee catastrophe. Andy Martino of the Daily News apparently independently posted around the same time a comment on the Mets and social media, though his take was aimed at illuminating his blogging friends as to the politics of access they were about to get schooled in, so you can see that beat writers and sports journalists will weight in on this as time goes on, or until their COBRA payments become to burdensome. Although I have been kicking some shit about the MLB's generally pathetic efforts to co-opt "blogging" for a while,  I won't pretend to have pioneered this particular debate or even added that much, but the systemic factors I am gesturing at won't just go away if we stick our heads in the orange and blue web mud.I may not get to go to the Holiday raves, but have you ever been offered 25% off a combination comely Mets companion/couch?Flare ups over the meaning of the Great SNY Metblogger Fête of '08 were as heated and controversial as can be expected when personal integrity is perceived to be at stake.  But I don't want to stake out holier-than-thou territory with some of my favorite bloggers, most of whom I have nothing but respect for. Besides, I myself would squeeze into rhinestoned Mets cut-off top if it meant a night in Alyssa Milano's  Dodgers field box.Go ahead, call me out. I will put my money where my mouth is or the opposite as is appropriate. I'm not too proud for Danza-related role play.To wit, I'm not as interested in the free hotdog-stooges vs. jealous-left-out-periphery back and forth (since the continued existence of Cody Ross exhausts my efforts at personal destruction) as much as I am in the way our system, the Mets blargosphere, is changing and may transform in the future.  This is all very speculative and future-oriented and I admit, totally "unprovable." To be sure, the blogger hierarchies taking shape with the subtle influence of cash from the still impressive Wilpon empire may melt away or shift whenever Jimmy from Long Island shuts down his Met blog because the baby cries too much and hell its cutting into his porn time.  So for now, I will just provide some logic and a touch of scant evidence that we should pay attention to this trend with a skeptical eye.  For those of you with short attention spans, here is the shred of evidence: according to some reports, we may already have seen team owners in other sports retaliating against their bloggers.  Will the Wilpon's Wooing Work Wonders or Wound Wonks? Of those that are paying me any mind, some are scoffing at my prevarications.  But most are treating my inflammatory insinuations with humor and class.  Joe Budd doesn't buy what I'm selling.   IMFM fanclub member and noted prize-fighter James K. brilliantly reworked the theme into some last-minute holiday Jeff Francoeur bashing.  Intelligent Met analysis impresario Eric Simon hasn't [...]

Will Our Long Metropolitan Night-Amaro Never End? Cliff Lee Gets Silly with Philly


Cliff Lee risks vomit attacks on his family to sign with Philadelphia. 

In a bold step, Phillies GM Ruben Amaro countered new Mets GM Sandy Alderson's acquisition of Boof Bonser last night by somehow outplaying the Yankees and the Rangers to land 2008 AL Cy Young Award winning pitcher Cliff Lee.  The Phils and Mets GMs are clearly locked in a battle for control of the National League East and this observer for one is waiting with baited breath to see who lands the next roundhouse!!

With Bonser in the fold, Mets fans minds are set at ease.

Informed of the Phillies' deal, Alderson quipped that it "Makes some of our contracts look pretty good.  That’s a long time, and a lot of money. I thought they were trying to fix the crack in the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, not smoke crack." The spirited jesting is in good fun, but once the season starts, these two executive suite warriors will be all business!! The business of winning that is.

Alderson Starts Never-Ending Honeymoon by Co-opting Mets Fans with Phone Calls and Pretty Words


 The Evil Empire might still be in the neighborhood, but the planet Alderson is not scheduled for destructionLast week, the Mets blargosphere was all a twitter over the inclusion of several blogs in a bonafide conference call with Sandy Alderson (though I couldn't help but notice that the gang from Sour PessimisticF* were not invited). Full disclosure: I was only invited to the pager message exchange with J.P. Ricciardi, not the group call with the big cheese. Fuller disclosure: I may now be the only one even mildly concerned with the potential consequences for independently-minded "coverage" of the Mets in light of the Wilpon's wooing.  Not that there are really any "independently" minded Mets commentators left out there; if we wanted that service, we'd still have sportswriters at our major newspapers (I keed)!  Jealous much? Yeah I was there. But gosh it looks like the Alderson regime has oh so cunningly stroked the egos of those that are paying the most attention, that is, the obsessive fans with electronic diaries.  With mainstream Met journalism looking increasingly bankrupt (not because they do a bad job necessarily, but the zeitgeist is bending them over and bloggers are happy to take their sloppy seconds without asking to be paid), and with the Mets having all but purchased one of the largest "fan blogs" out there to go along with their purchase of Mr.-First-Question Kevin Burkhart, it's not too outrageous to posit that the Mets probably won't be coming in for any serious criticism for the foreseeable future.  And well they shouldn't, you may be saying...after all, they hired Sandy Alderson didn't they? I'll say this for the Sandy love: I haven't seen someone take office in an organization with standards this low since our last presidential election, know what I'm sayin'? ***Say what you want about the Deadspin guy, but the "without access...blah blah... without favor" part of their motto is what they got right. For me one of the fundamental characteristics of "blogs"--what makes them blogs instead of some other media or publicity outlet--is that they don't have access to the locker rooms, they don't sit on the team planes, don't know the players, don't have to polish the "Budweiser Hot Seat" etc.  Access is not the value added here, it's being able to say whatever you damn please, and be as profane or fawning as you like.  Am I saying you're a bad person if you accept your favorite team's offer to let your blogger ass go frolic in the dugout or hang out in the rich people seats? Of course not.But I have to wonder about the long term effects.  Systemically, the blogs have replaced the newspeople as sources for information and analysis, and these blogs, "staffed" by wide-eyed innocents like myself, are arguably more susceptible to influence than beat writers or commentators who report to and are accountable to editors and readers, etc. Who knows what the ramifications are or if they're even worth fretting about. Maybe we don't really need the critical distance of journalists to understand the sports world. If so, we may be on the road to that happy place, one where we believe whatever we're told and all Angels come from a town called Los Angeles of Anaheim. So here's my question: all earnest appearances aside (and the Sandinator is getting rave reviews for his answers), are the Mets really reaching out to t[...]