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Preview: Building A Better Dave

Building A Better Dave

A funny look at relationships, marriage, divorce, love, sex, life, dating advice, and the weird thoughts that pop into Dave's head when he is sleep deprived. Never longer than 15 minutes, and guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, think, or groan. Life is too

Last Build Date: Tue, 09 Aug 2016 23:55:38 +0000

Copyright: 2006-2008

If You’re Happy and You Know It

Thu, 04 Aug 2016 03:24:23 +0000

Today I talk about a negative voice in my head that just always seems to be there. Always. Lately something has not felt normal. Something was weird. Something didn't feel right. It turns out the thing that wasn't wrong, was there wasn't something wrong. I'm not dreading going home I'm not under lots of stress. I like my job. I'm not super stressed about money I'm pretty sure, that it may be a while before I get in another argument. I feel respected. What is this feeling? Holy cow, I'm happy. I forgot what this has felt like. Much like a dog who has been beat too much, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and it's not. You can feel bad about yourself when you compare yourself to others. The American life is to have a spouse, a house and kids. Well I have no spouse, probably not going to have a house, and the kids boat has sailed. If I think about this too much, I can feel like I've missed something. Yet, I have a great life. I'm sitting in air conditioning, employed, I'm down 30 lbs. Life is good, quit being an A-hole and enjoy it! What You Focus On Should Impact You In a Positive Way I almost bought a magazine filled with Shi-tzu dogs that in the end would leave me feeling sad missing my old dog. At first seeing their pictures of the dogs/puppies it made me smile. However, if I bought that magazine, I know I would eventually lead to me missing my dog. So I passed on the magazine. Instead I'm going to focus on the things in front of me that bring me joy (like air conditioning) Support The Show Want to help keep the show floating? Go to and use the shopping and donation buttons.

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Brian and Linda: Marriage Advice from the Divorced Guy

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 20:15:17 +0000

Last weekend I was driving to the place where I ride my bike. It beautiful. I get out there, relax, and enjoy nature. This week I was driving and I passed signs for Brian and Linda's wedding, and then the reception. I thought of how happy Brian and Linda must be on this day. It was an awesome day to sweat 20 lbs off in a tux. I thought of how I felt on my wedding days. Yes, there have been two. With this in mind, you can learn from people who succeed at something, or you can also learn from people who fail at something so I feel I have some good advice from a divorced guy. Pick Your Battles, and Your Battle Times Your spouse is not perfect. This you need to learn right up front. Your life will not be perfect. How you handle the reality of that is HUGE part of how your marriage will go. This doesn't mean you become a welcome mat for your spouse to walk over, but you do need to set realistic expectations. With this in mind, let some things roll off your back. Wait a day or two to see if it is still bugging you. If it is, then start thinking about how to bring it up, and more importantly when to bring it up. There is that whole "Don't go to bed mad at each other" and it's next to impossible if you bring up stuff AS YOU ARE GOING TO BED. For me, when my head hit the pillow I had two things on my mind, and if we weren't doing the first thing, I wanted to sleep. This is NOT the best time to bring up serious subjects. Your spouse is exhausted and wants to sleep. I know, let's dump some serious discussion on them, and see how they make decisions when their brain checked out hours ago. In the morning before work is a crappy way to start the day. As soon as you get home from work is awful because you want to relax. How about after dinner. Another tip I would add is give a warning shot. Maybe some time during the day send a "I need to talk to you tonight" text to let them know. While a "we need to talk" used to mean you are breaking up, now that you're married that option is off the table. Don't panic. Reinforce Your Commitment Let's face it, there will be times when things are said or done, and you are royally cheesed off. This happens. Remember, it's not going to be perfect. So if you are going to bed angry, try to remind your spouse that while you don't like them at the moment, you do love them. I know that's weird. Buy can you love a child who just spilled chocolate on the carpet? Sure. Well then, remember that you can be upset with someone and still love them. State that, "You know that really hurt me, and I'm upset. I want you to know that I still love you, and I'm sure we can work through this." Why I feel this is important is when you get into a bad situation, it may feel like everything you do is not good enough, that all you do is wrong, and that your relationship is doomed. A reminder that you are a team, and you will work through your problems might be a key to having a dialogue vs an argument. A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down If you need to point out something that needs work, the "bad news" might go down better if you add something positive to it first. "I love that you are such a (hard worker, good mom, etc) and I can see that when you (whatever they did) and I deeply appreciate it. Here is a way that take that great action and maximize the impact would be to ____. Don't Be A Buthead Be careful saying something nice up front if it is followed by "But..." as everything before the word But gets erased when you use it. This is really hard to do. I the love the way you do this, and that BUT when you.... that doesn't work. Know Your Schools of Thought on Marriage There are two schools of marriage (for me). Two complete people who choose to be together. Two incomplete people who choose to be together to complete each other (the Jerry McQuire Marriage). People Can Change But It's Never Easy By the time you get married, you are who you are for the most part. People can change,

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Why Is Everyone Fighting?

Wed, 11 May 2016 02:20:53 +0000

I went and saw Captain America Civil War, and I missed Batman Vs Superman. Why is everyone fighting? What is up with that? I also talk about "The New Normal" and why old people are grumpy. Dave shares an email that really scratched his itch.

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Hostile Territory

Sat, 16 Jan 2016 01:09:18 +0000

Today Dave shares his insights from a tip to Michigan where Toyota owners are not exactly welcome. Really? This is how you get me to purchase your car in the future by punishing me? Then my phone went into roaming.... Why is channel 2 in Japanese? You've got to watch the Netflix show Making a Murderer. It's super interesting and keep in mind: If you are ever have a legal problem that relies on common sense, YOU'RE SCREWED The interesting thing is some of the people in this documentary are not that intelligent, and yet THEY STILL GET TO VOTE.

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The High Road is Covered in Goose Poop

Mon, 04 Jan 2016 04:29:41 +0000

It's been 5 months since I've documented my life. I'm trying to do this without throwing people under the bus, pointing fingers, cause in the end - it doesn't matter. I am now divorced. Pointing fingers will not change that, so I take the high road and wish the best for my (oh, good God - now SECOND) ex-wife. So I'm living alone. Me and a cat. Bernie. I've never been a cat person, but Bernie is OK. There are times when its nice to just have another heartbeat under the roof. I'm not looking for as pitty party. It is what it is. I feel we did what we could. We spend thousands on counseling. We knew what to do, but thanks to our childhoods, our experiences, we are wired the way we are, and we couldn't change. As a teacher, I find this fact hard to believe. I believe in constant improvement. In the end, I guess a leopard can't change it's spots, and a Zebra can't change it's stripes. At that pint you either accept what you have (even if it's not exactly what you want) or you move on. Things I've Learned So Far Geese are pretty, but the crap on everything. It's one thing thing to have a robin poop on your car. Its a whole other story when its a goose. Toilet paper rolls last for MONTHS when there are no women in the house. It's easier to change the littler box daily for a few minutes, then to do it once a week. I am developing an unhealthy fear of the unknown. I'm worried I will blow my 50's worrying about my 70's. Play the Cards You're Dealt The choices I've made my life have got me to where I am. I can't change the past. I can only do the best with what is left.

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50 and Falling Apart

Fri, 21 Aug 2015 18:50:09 +0000

I remember my Toyata Corolla. It was the first car I had with power windows and air conditioning. A little old lady (seriously) owned it before I did and I drove the crap out of my car. I remember when the windshield washer fluid pump went out. Then I got a crack in the windshield. These were all little things, but things were starting to wear out. The last straw was the door handle came off in my hand. Shortly after that, the engine started having serious issues. I took care of that car and it had a ton of miles on it when it rolled into the dealer. Looking back, most of the cars I have owned gave a warning shot. We do what we can, but there comes a point when it makes no sense to invest into a car that is going nowhere. I turned 50 in February which means right now I'm closer to 51 than I am 50. In the past month I blew out three of my only pair of jeans. I'm at 223 today as I record this. The most I've ever weighed in 226. The biggest reason I gain weight is from time to time I just don't care. I'll worry about it tomorrow. If you look at the your calendar, someday is not on it. I remember at 25 wanted to loser weight. Then 30. I did lose 20 lbs when I got divorced. But the weight I lost has now found me and it brought friends. So when I turned 50 I thought, "I need to lose weight." The problem is the older you get the harder it gets. This is depressing. It really is. I started taking blood pressure pills. There is a chink in the armor. I use to go up stairs two at a time. No lacing up my shoes in the morning is an Olympic event. Good God how did this happen? Oh that's right, 80% of my food comes through the drive through window. I got a call the other day that its been a year since my last eye exam. That exam lead to me getting glasses. Those glasses that are now not strong enough at times. Those glasses that are bi-focals. That was weird. Bi-focals are for old people. One my best friends growing up is fighting Lukemia. It's like we are getting old. I'm starting to look more and more like my Dad and my Aunt is starting to look like my Grandma. It's weird, and I'm not a huge fan, and yet we have no control. I heard an ad on the radio for this place call Slimgenics who gaurentee if you follow their program you will lose weight. I know its a scam. Well not really. I can design a plan that I would gaurentee to work. I just don't follow it. But I went in to sign up. I figured, "What the heck." I got to hear the pitch, etc. They took my blood pressure. Then they took it again. Then they told me to take deep breaths and took it again. You know how your blood pressure medicine ran out a while ago, and you were going to "Get around to getting a refill." Then you called it in and the pharmacy never called you back. Remember that? Then you did it again, and again, each time being ignored. It's because the doctor needed to see me. Nobody called, and as it turns out its been over a year since I had my blood pressure medicine. The folks at slimgenics won't take me into their program. So I got no jeans. No blood pressure medicine, and no time to fix it. Actually I'm going to the doctor this coming week. Don't mess around with your blood pressure. I'm 50 and I'm falling apart.

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We’ve Come A Long Way Baby!

Sun, 26 Apr 2015 04:32:45 +0000

What kid recognizes Fred Flintstone? Why are there still Flintstones vitamins. Check out these old commercials with Fred Flintstone smoking Doctor's smoking commercial Operation Commerical

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The Other Side of Christmas

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 20:06:41 +0000

I ruined an Angel. I did. There was an Angel in my mother-in-laws bathroom. Its been there for years. One day while peeing, I looked up and noticed it had something (maybe a book) in its one hand, and in the other it had a candle with no wick. A candle with no wick, and the top of it slight indentation around it. It looked falic. Now there are certain words you don't use around your mother-in-law. You are still trying to help be happy that her daughter is married to you. That's the plan at least. But one word I typically do not use around my mother in law "Dildo." So on the way home I told my wife (trying to be weird, shocking and goofy) "Why is the Angel in the bathroom holding a Dildo?" To this I believe my wife just said ," David?... sigh..." My warped sense of humor that she found unique as we were dating has lost its magic. Never in my life would I think my wife (my trusted and most intimate partner) would tell her mother, "Dave thinks the Angel in the bathroom is holding a Dildo." Now for the record, I was told my mother-in-law laughed (I am very lucky in the Mother in law department), but on the other hand I ruined the Angel. Nobody can look at the "Candle" anymore without thinking Dildo. Rumor has it, I may end up with it as a present as nobody can look at it anymore. I was thinking of all the Christmas specials and how one sided the are. In the aftermath of children getting shot by cops we are becoming a little cynical. We want to look at the other side. When I thought about it, here is what I came up with. Frosty Was a Pedophile Frosty the snowman could slide around without moving his feet (OK, he didn't have any) and he loved to play with Children. He sounds like Michael Jackson and that’s when it came it me. Frosty was a pedophile Rudolph Had A Serious Coke Problem Rudolph stayed up thinking about leading Santa's sleigh. We think this was his dream, but really he was on a three day coke binge. His nose was Red because he did lots of coke. This is why Santa didn't want him guiding his sleigh. He knew Rudolph was going to crash unexpectedly, quickly, and Santa didn't want to die. Sounds and Smells Can Take You Back It’s funny how different smells and sound just zap you back to certain time and places. Every time I hear "Eruption" by Van Halen its 1978 and I'm sitting in Al School's bedroom with Scott Kenepp looking at the record player (it was 1978) just baffled as to how Eddie is making that noise. When I hear the song "Linus and Lucy" (what most people consider the Peanuts theme) I think we all can flash back to sitting in front of the television, of hurrying back because the commercials were almost over and the show was coming back on, and watching a Charlie Brown Christmas. It Was Cold Outside - But I Was Warm....Dad is that you? I had a weird experience the other day. I was driving to Michigan and stopped at a rest area (the older I get I have to pee every 15 minutes). Maybe it was the smell of diesel fuel and the sound of trucks, but for a second I really felt like my Dad was standing right behind me. It’s so strange to miss someone so much you rarely saw. I didn't turn around, but it was just a very strange feeling. It was cold outside, but I was suddenly warm. I just felt his presence. It’s strange how much someone who didn't see a whole lot at the end of his life. But in a way my Dad was like a Charlie Brown Christmas. You know every year he's going to be there. How weird would it be if all of the sudden they just didn't broadcast that? Well that's how I feel this year. It's not surprising after all. The holidays always make us think of family, but for the record I miss you Dad and I'm really going to miss you telling me the same thing you told me the last time I visited you. Alzheimers sucked, but it was better than nothing. Nothing. Nothing sucks. I will forever associate the word "home" wi[...]

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Chasing the High

Tue, 18 Nov 2014 17:56:38 +0000

Today I share a story about playing an outdoor festival with my band "The $ugar Daddies" on a July fourth weekend. We headlined this outdoor festival. The bad news is nobody had tested the power going to the flatbed truck along with the power so that by the time my band took the stage we needed the lights. The bad news as is soon as we turned them on, the power would trip a breaker. The solution? We had to play the indoor stage where there was no air conditioning and it was easy 95+ degrees with the giant holiday weekend crowd. It was one of those nights that everybody was hitting on all points and we just had that groove. Everything was just working. Then it came time for me to do the Song "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. This was a song that I just got to "Go Off" on and have fun. To this day, it was like being hit by lightning. I felt what I wanted to play from my toes and it just shot out my fingers. It was awesome. The crowd reacted. It was a feeling like no other. The band lasted a few more years, but we started flipping musicians, playing smaller clubs and we eventually fizzled out. For me, July 4th at the Northside was in the top 5 gigs. Opening for Blue Oyster Cult was another one. So one of the old trumpet players contacts me and he's trying to get a band together that is close to what my old band played. I've been in so many bands that just didn't work for so many reasons. This sounds promising. I'm a bit nervous as I might get really disappointed. I want that feeling one more time, so I'm going to go chase that high.

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I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

Mon, 30 Jun 2014 14:39:33 +0000

This week I am home alone (feel free to put your hands on your face and make a face like Macaulay Culkin). I did something I hardly ever do. Nothing. I sat on the couch and petted my cat. It is here where I learned why I love working on my next project. This might be reading or listening to a book, thinking of the next product I want to create, etc. When I'm not thinking about things coming in the future, I think about the past. I don't like to think about the past. I sat there and reality let me know that my Dad was really gone. The cards I had been dealt, were gone. Game over. I had a good old fashioned cry. It felt good in the end. My cat was very confused. Looking Forward I prefer to look forward, and see a picture of an improved life. One where I help people. One where I leave the planet a better place. I often fall asleep at my desk. I then get up, and go home. I bop till I drop in the immortal words of Rick Springsfield. I'm OK with that. Relaxation is over rated in my book. It doesn't compare to the adrenaline rush of new ideas, of creativity pulsing in my veins. No contest. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

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Unbelievable Crap On TV (again)

Wed, 04 Jun 2014 22:20:53 +0000

John Lovitz, Lisa Rina, and other people time have forgotten are now on a show where they sing music you don't want to hear. The part that blows me away is the audience made of 20 somethings who are shouting like someone is paying them money (oh wait). Does Lisa think that some casting director is going to see her and say, "Hey she's be perfect for my new role..." Its baffling.

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I Miss Talent – American Idol is HORRIBLE

Thu, 22 May 2014 22:23:38 +0000

Last night I did something I have never done, but I watched the American Idol finale. I thought I would hear the best of the best, but found out that many of these people can't sing. I was also blown away at the deterioration of Paul Stanley's voice (of the band KISS). It was shocking. I loved his Audio Book, and it rekindled my interest in Kiss. I thought about putting out $90 for a ticket when they come through Cleveland, but I won't after this performance. Look people get old. It happens. It's just hard to get reality slapping in your face and reminding you that you - and your idols - are getting old. I found some great videos on Youtube that spotlight some of the Beatles doing their song with the music off. This was before auto tuning. These guy did it live and it was amazing.

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What My Mother Meant to Me – The Original Building a Better Dave

Sun, 11 May 2014 05:00:12 +0000

When I was 24, my mother passed away from her second (well technically third) heart attack. It was April 27, 1989. It had been 6 years since she had passed. As someone who talks in public for a living (teaching technology) it didn't seem like a stretch to take two of my passions (teaching and God) and put them together. At least that's what the Pastor's assistant thought when she asked me to sub for him and do a sermon titled, "What my Mother meant to me" on Mother's Day. This would be the sermon that would "Launch" my role as a pastor in training (a course that later went  away from this church and landed on the Internet). As this is Mother's day, I thought I would share it with you. The audio quality is very 1989 (originally recorded on a cassette deck)

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Do We Have to Become Our Parents?

Fri, 21 Feb 2014 06:01:21 +0000

Today Dave returns to talk about turning 49 along with topics such as Back Hair Seeing your Dad when you look into the mirror. My 8th Birthday I swore I would never make a child of mine have  a birthday like m eighth. My Dad was a long distance truck driver and in 1973 there were no cell phones, and to make a long story short I didn't get a phone call from him on my birthday. It really bummed me out, and made me feel pretty invisible. I don't hold it against him, and he did call the next day. Fast Forward to 2014 I was in Vegas for a podcasting convention. I remember when I woke up on the last day and had a reminder to call my step son. It was his 17th birthday. Its weird when you're three hours apart. When you eat, they are sleeping. When you're eating lunch, they are in school. This goes on and on. When I looked at my watch and saw it was 9:45 pm in Vegas meant it was 12:45 in Ohio. I had missed his birthday. I had a reason (I got lost in the time zones), but I couldn't believe I had done that. Are we destined to turn into our parents? I don't know. I haven't seen my Dad in years cause the last time I went to see him the dimensia had robbed him of his memory of me (and he thought I was my brother). This makes one feel insignificant (even though you know it's not his fault). I'm thinking of going back to see him. It is weird. If you're Dad doesn't remember you, but he's alive, it's like YOU're dead. I'm going to take my wife and hope that she will help him remember me. I guess we'll see. I have a voice in my head that says I need to go and see him.Сео

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Taming the Tongue

Fri, 17 Jan 2014 04:49:51 +0000

I am amazed at how much there is in the bible that basically says shut up. Keep it to yourself, and how much damage you can do with your mouth. The fun thing is how do you learn to keep your mouth shut without going off the deep end and feeling like what you have to say has no worth? That is my dilemma. I'm not sure where my lack of self worth comes from, but I know most of my life I was pretty happy. I'm still an optimistic guy. Then I went to therapy for a few years and they told me how horrible my life was, and how I have scars for life. Really? I didn't see any... Hmmm. I'm not always ready to believe what the shrinks have to say. This is from the days when they diagnosed me as being ADD, and then later tested me after prescribing me medication. Quacks. There is an old joke that says you can be married or you can be right. There is a lot of truth to that, and its not just married. My soul is that of a teacher, and I'm always trying to help people by sharing my insights. To have a successful class you need students who are interested in learning. I've come to the conclusion that not everyone is as hip to "constant improvement" as I am. Many times its not what I'm trying to say, but a lack of tact in the way I said it. Good intentions - bad execution. Its a tough road to go, and a hard skill I will need to work on. Slowing down has something that I'm not good at. With 40 years left of my life, I'm not really interested in slowing down. The clock keeps ticking, and the lines in my face are getting clearer to quote Steven Tyler. Life is too short.

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Fri, 13 Dec 2013 23:23:38 +0000

Today Dave share's about his new health kick (and why he decided enough is enough). He also talks about the demise of Thanksgiving, weird "Christmas" songs. Dietbet I'm in a Dietbet that if I can lose 10% of my body weight in 6 months I have a shot at earning some cash. How much? There is $175350 in the pot with 1304 people fighting for it. For more information check out So far I'm down 3 lbs. Watching Thanksgiving fade Away I remember when Sunday's stores were closed, then (greed) stores decided to stay open. Then we had "Black Friday" the day after thanksgiving when the majority of the USA has the day off to go shopping. Then black Friday started at 10 am. Then 9 am. Then 4 am. Now if you didn't notice it, Black Friday starts on Thursday night about 8. We are trading in our time with our family where we are supposed to be thankful for what we have and we are trading it in to to have things that we think will make our life better- but won't. When I was at Target the associated wanted to know if I wanted to open up a credit card to pay for my $2.54 bill. Really? I could save 5%. What will I do with that 13 cents? Sure let me sign up so you can charge me 30% interest. That is hard to fathom. The Spending Society If you haven't checked, some are your credit cards are charging 30%. That means is most of your money is going to pay for credit  card bills 30% of your hard earned money is being lit on fire because you couldn't wait. In the future I don't think we will potty train our children as we won't want them to wait to do anything. I Broke My Back - Again Why am I getting into shape? Because I tore every muscle in my upper body. Doing what? Drying off. Yep. Drying off with a towel. One wrong turn and my entire body just froze up. I said to myself ENOUGH is ENOUGH! I was looking at the iTunes reviews of the Logical Weight Loss podcast, and one review said, "Dave you've been doing this podcast for three years and you've set a new record for being heavy." Ouch. I've always tried to be a person of integrity and its just time to poop or get off the pot. Why Are These Christmas Songs? I was listening to "My Favorite Things," and of course later "Marshmallow World" (the worst Christmas song ever). This are just beyond cheesy.  

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Nothing Personal

Sat, 28 Sep 2013 04:15:04 +0000

Today I talk about how I keep having people in my life including my family, friends, and finally a church group keep telling me, "It's not personal, but we don't want to work with you." I'm trying to understand what I've done. I've always thought I was a pretty nice guy. I've got a good sense of humor, and I feel like I'm laid back. A large amount of my family won't speak to me. I've reached out, but have had almost no replies. My wife quit our podcast. A church group told me that they didn't want me in their group. I made the lead uncomfortable. This has me second guessing every emotion, thought, and action I do. I always thought I was a good person. Was I wrong?

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A Tribute to Dudley

Fri, 30 Aug 2013 03:25:56 +0000

I had the hard task of putting my dog of 14 years to sleep. I've had him since he was a puppy. This little Schi-tzu was the best dog I've ever had. He  has been there with me through thick and thin. No matter how bad the day was I always new a wagging tail was waiting for me. It always made me smile. He was my friend. We bonded when he was just a few months old, and we went everywhere. He was the peanut butter to my jelly, etc. He been going down hill for some time, and I had to put myself second and do what was best for the dog. He had basically dropped about 10% of his own weight in about a week. He went from being spunky to being lethargic. I was amazed at how fast the things happen once we the doctor showed up. She explained what was going to happen. once the procedure started, he was gone in less than 15 seconds. When your dog barely moves when he was alive, its very confusing when he's actually dead. But she listened and announced his heart had stopped. Now the day after I'm still looking to make sure I don't roll over him with my desk chair, breaking off bites of my sandwich for him to eat, closing my office door so he doesn't get out, and dreading going home to see his empty bed. I thank God for 14+ years of a great dog who always made me smile.

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I Got Shacked

Sat, 10 Aug 2013 18:58:05 +0000

There is a weird law in the universe. The large the hurry you are in, the better the chance that the employee at Radio Shack will grill you on your phone plan on the way out the door. After being a joke for every comedians in the future about them asking about batteries, they switched from pimping batteries to grilling you about your phone. I went to TWO other stores praying they would have the cable I KNEW Radio Shack had. I didn't want to have to deal with the check out process. I'm happy with my phone. I know you sell phones. I know you sell toys. I know what you do. I see you advertising. I really just want my change. I just got my phone. I won't be upgrading any time soon. Neither will anyone of my friends, family, or co-workers. Can I please just have my change? How about handing me my receipt and letting me get out? Let's Create a Catch Phrase When you are in a store, and they just won't let you leave without hearing the hard sell you are "Getting Shacked." If you are at the shoe store and they won't let you leave without the hard pitch for socks, you are "Getting Shacked." Let's make this part of a vocabulary. "I got shacked!"  

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30 Year High School Reunion

Tue, 06 Aug 2013 02:48:01 +0000

I'm reading about how you identify with different things. When these things disappoint us, we feel stress. Here in Cleveland Ohio we refer to Cleveland Browns Stadium as the "factory of sadness." The sports teams we identify with do not meet our needs, and we are stressed out watching them. So I got to hang out with my high school class 30 years after we graduated. At one point we did something new. We arranged people by the elementary school we attended. So there I was shoulder to shoulder with people I had know for most of my life. The little Hatton heroes. The Hatton school had recently been bulldozed along with all my childhood memories. Only to rebuild it in a more modern fashion. I remember us Hatton people as we prepared to go to Hyre junior high. We had gone from being the oldest at the elementary school to the youngest at the jr high. We made it Jr high. Then we ruled the School in 9th grade. Only to go to the high school, and put up with being the new kids again. But we worried but learned to drive together in a truck trailer that simulated driving on a giant screen. We watched our football team, and celebrate at McDonald's every Friday rain or shine. We raced to see who could make it around the bases of sex. We tossed our hats into the air together and sand the alma matter one last time and headed off to graduation parties, and plans of college, work, and future. We swore we'd keep in touch. Some of us did. Most of us didn't However, that doesn't mean we don't have that connection. We traded that connection for homework, and jobs, and more tests, and degrees. And spouses, and children,. And once every five or so years we get together to see how much weight we've gained, hair we've lost. We look across the dinner table and someone who knows what its like to be us. We remember how awesome Deanna's Sebeny Vargo's -laugh is. It was weird. Our kids are now our age when most of use connected. We looked like out parents. Slightly gray, slightly overweight. And we worry together about our kids, and in some cases, grandchildren, great nieces and nephews. its nice to be around a group of like minded people. Who call the tree lawn the devil strip. Who know what its like to bleed orange and white. We worried about leaving elementary school, and then JR High, High School, who take take to the dance, if we would win the big game, pass the test, live through the break up, what college to attend, how to plan the wedding, how to raise the kids, and now as we plow into middle age, we will start to ponder the thought of staying off "the list."

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Charles Ramsey For Mayor

Thu, 09 May 2013 23:56:06 +0000

First things first. I am NOT taking light the horrible situation these women went through. What I'm pointing out is the media, and asking the question, "Do they help create these monsters?" Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, Michelle Knight are free. Praise God. On the other hand, I commend Charles Ramsey for doing the right thing. He now has t-shirts, and a lot of attention. It should be interested to see what he does with the spotlight.

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1.7 Billion Pounds of bacon

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 00:08:07 +0000

Have no fear, bacon is here! With Americans gobbling up more than 1.7 billion pounds of bacon each year, Destination America brings bac on buffs what they crave with an all-new series, UNITED STATES OF BACON. Each episode features our hog-wild host, Chef Todd Fisher, as he road trips to cities across America in search of the most mouth-watering, stomach-growl-inducing, sensory-overloading bacon creations kitchens have to offer. While more than half of all U.S. homes (53%) keep bacon in their fridge at all times, no longer are the sizzling strips being relegated to the sidelines as a simple breakfast side dish. As Chef Todd discovers, bacon has become a beloved fixture of American cuisine for any meal of day and the "secret sauce" for recipes of all kinds, popping up on menus as the crown jewel of traditional dishes and in avant-garde pairings with ice cream, jam, and cocktails. The 12-episode first season of UNITED STATES OF BACON premieres Sunday, December 30 at 10 & 10:30 PM E/P. If only television screens were scratch and sniff! Denny's Bacon Makes it Better Denny's is now serving a salted carmel sundae with BACON. A BACON Milkshare, and many other bacon related products. My gripe is there are people who truly do believe that life is better with bacon. My job is gone! Eat some bacon! My government is corrupt! Eat some Bacon. Meanwhile if the bacon doesn't make it better, Arby's will provide Good Mood Food while my snickers really satisifes me. Are we really that stupid?

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Bathroom Humor with Coy Mathis

Sat, 02 Mar 2013 18:58:29 +0000

Today I talk about a story I heard about Coy Mathis who is a boy who has been living as a girl. Coy is six years old. I could care less about Coy's lifestyle, but I do get frustrated that we now have to label our bathrooms with the type of equipment you were born with. Some restaurants get cute and put things like "Dames" and "Guys", or "Dudes" and "Chicks." Apparently because of people like Coy we are going to have to chance bathroom signs to read "PENIS" and "VAGINA" (it will be fun to see what the international symbol for these signs are).  Watch video I also talk about Outreach Magazine today. I was a subscriber to this magazine, but there are soooo many ads in this magazine I never re-subscribed. This has not stopped them from sending me issue after issue stating, "This is your last issue.."

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Zombies in Vegas

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:40:52 +0000

NOTICE: There is 6 seconds of silence at the beginning of this episode (the mic was not pressed). Don't crank up your speakers or your head will be blasted off. I went to the new media expo. I love the expo. I am not a fan of Vegas. I saw many things that made me sad. It seemed everyone I saw, I would write in a back story that was just horrible. The one thing that really bugged me two fold was one night when I was leaving the Rio (where the expo was) one of the "drink girls" got up on a table (complete with loud music, lights, etc) and for lack of a better phrase began to shake her ass. She wasn't naked, and for the most part had a bathing suit on with some lace over top. The commotion caught my attention, and when I realized what was going on I decided to continue looking for my friend. Then I noticed that nobody was paying attention. As a musician, I've had my experience as the "Human Juke Box" and it's not fun. At least in those instances I was part of a band. There was no mistaking this, we were ignoring her. Consequently, when the music was over she returned to serving drinks. I noticed that nobody clapped. I thought, I wonder what causes more internal scars, the fact that part of your paycheck is earned shaking your butt or the fact that nobody notices and appreciates that you are shaking your butt. I felt bad for her. The scene that played over and over in my hotel (the Gold Coast) were older people in their 60;s and 70's with a dead pan stare on their face just pushing "the button" (you no longer have to pull a lever) and watching their money evaporate. I don't understand it. I spent $1 in the airport on the way back and it took me about 5 of my 20 tries to figure out this was a game that was geared to leave me on the losing end. Next episode I'm not that guy anymore....??? ?? ??????

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Where Is Dave At?

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 17:52:54 +0000

In this short mobile episode I am at a place where I went in to eat lunch, and listen to podcasts. I had my volume up all the way, and the music coming from the sound system over-powered my headphones. I couldn't hear my podcasts. This lead me to ask, "What is up with all the over-stimulation?" I mean do we ever relax? I understand music is played so you can't hear what the table next to you is talking about, but do we need it so loud that it shakes the fillings out of my teeth?

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I Don’t Want to Freak You Out

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:42:14 +0000

Today I talk about the frighteneing situation where my wife had a "fake" heart attack. It looked like a heart attack, smelled like a heart attack, but in the end it was her gallbaldder. Looking back, I didn't want to freak her out when I thought she was having a heart attack. Meanwhile she was trying to remain calm so she wouldn't freak me out. I went to work because she was so calm about it. This has lead me to believe that I can't read my wife's mind at all. In the end I went to work (I was teaching a class that day). It was very weird driving to work and thinking, "What if she was wrong?" Top 10 Memories of Life After her procedure I was with her at night. We flipped thorugh 8 million channels (with nothing worth watching), and eventualy found two shows we watched growing up. Sandford and Son, and Good Times. After having the crap scared out of me, having my wife "out of the woods" and back in my arms, where it was just the two of us, is now one of my most cherrished moments. I also talk about the first time the frist time I told her I loved her (next the to drain pipe decorated for Christmas). Another favorite memory was when I got to play guitar for my step-daughter as she sang (here that episode). In watching some of the shows I grew up with, I was su

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Hungry For America

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 00:45:08 +0000

I just got voting today and was amazed at the number of people who were on the ballet to be the next President of the United states of America and I had NO IDEA who they were. I had never heard of their name. I was amazed. The whole process kind of made me sick. It just points out how corrupt the political process in America is. Isn't saying the American political system is better than any other country like saying the Egg McMuffin is the healthiest choice on the McDonald's menu.  I don't Governor Romney has a clue what the price of milk is, and President Obama put into place laws that allow the Government to come in and arrest you for no apparent reason. Enjoy your Tyranny America. Meanwhile I have students at my job who are doing everything they physically can to legally stay in this country. Its fun as most of the time he just makes noises at me. He is an obvious caring, compassionate person, he just wants help. I can see him asking for more evening classes so he can spend ore time studying.  He is hungry for any help to stay in this country. On the other side of the lab I have a 20 something year old male who is sleeping in class, loading software to watch DVDs, and completely ignoring the free education that he will eventually run out of. He has no idea what is sitting in front of him. He feels entitled. It will all be ok. It's just such a difference of opinion. I think as American's we take for granted the opportunities that are here in America. We need to wake up and start getting our news from places like

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Dear Gay Fan

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 03:43:11 +0000

Dear GayFan, I’m sorry I offended you. I was only imitating my friend Fausto from the Feast of Fun podcast I got to hang with Fausto and Marc in 2005. Two truly awesome people who took the fun of the night to a whole new level. Instead of focusing on our differences, we focused on what we had in common. It was a blast. All stereotypes have some form of truth in them. A hint. A spec. I know a LOT of Christians who are judgmental right wing nut jobs. I know a lot of country music fans who drive trucks, own guns, and drink beer. I lead classes at a college where the predominantly African American student body could not get to class on time. What about all the pregnant white teenage mothers who couldn’t seem to get to that school on time even though Grandma was watching the kid? It also turned out most of these young mothers were on welfare. Does it mean all? Never. I worked with two, hard working, compassionate, funny, gay men at a company. Both had a huge understanding of Broadway plays, and both of them had a unique way of pronouncing their “S’s”. They were great friends. When I see someone on the street, as an average white male I have at times said the word “Howdy!” (Can I sound any more WHITE?).  Does this mean that all country music fans are high school drop outs who marry their cousin? NO! That all African American people are lazy and eat chicken? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Does this mean that all Gay men sound this way? Nope, but enough do that every comedian seems it OK to lisp when talking gay, nasal when talking white, stupid when talking southern, and Yo! use Ebonics when talking “Black” (you know what I’m sayin?). It is never my intention to offend, if we can’t embrace our own cultures and embrace our differences than soon freedom of speech will be a thing of the past. If someone did an imitation of me and it contained me saying “Ya know” or some other type of stammering (which I do) I couldn’t argue that I stammer. I understand YOU don’t talk like in a stereotypical gay male fashion. In that case I suggest that I was not talking about you. As a guitarist who has never smoked a joint and didn’t have a sip of alcohol until his early twenties, I do not get offended when people assumed I did drugs. When I tell them I grew up listening to Ozzy Osbourne, and Judas Priest (fronted by a Gay Male by the way – who is still one of my favorite singers) I understand why they jump to this conclusion. Why? Because I realize that most musicians get up around the crack of three, wake and bake, and look for a girlfriend so they have some place to live. I am the exception to the rule, and I enjoy breaking stereotypes. I apologize for hurting you. As a person who tries to be the same on mic as I do off mic, I will more than likely do this again. The show is unscripted. My show is me talking to my favorite people including you. As there are thousands of you, if I had to worry about every word that didn’t offend Native Americans, African Americans, Gay, Straight, Bi, transgendered, Lesbian, I would have to stop at the “Welcome to the Logical Weight Loss” podcast. With this in mind I apologize in advance. You will hear (poorly executed) accents from time to time. It’s just me being me. I can’t help myself. My apologies for every English person whe[...]

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The Power of the Boo

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 01:56:40 +0000

Today I talk about how I was at a football game and we all joined in on a good old fashioned BOO! Oddly enough nothing changed. The referees didn't change their call. Did this ever work? Back in the 1700s if you shouted BOO at someone, were they obligated to change their mind? Also on the show today I talk about my two weekends that I worked in a haunted School House. There is nothing more fun than trying to hide your 6" 1" frame behind a three foot wall. Get a free audio book by going to

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Fun at the Football Game

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 05:00:13 +0000

The nurse and I attended a football game (as the senator play claronete in the band). This week we were the visiting team and the home team was having a homecoming week. It was interesting. So this week I'm shaing my thought on: Cheerleaders: How many minutes into that first game does to take for you to realize you tried out, you made the squad, and nobody is listening to you. Song Selection: Hey! Here is a lovely soft melodic tune. Let's find an arrangment for a high school band! Why Sweet Caroline was sweet. If you right a great song, we don't care if you molest children. Having fun reliving our high school days. Have someone who is 5 foot 2 stick up for you when you're five foot 10. Girls who only date rock stars. Doing ESPN style game assessment of a high school football game, and giving the same assessment to the cheerleaders.    

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You’re Awful – Do You Want Your Own Show?

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 04:28:11 +0000

Today I talk about a few things 1. I will be moving home soon. I will be separating my office from my house. 2. The nurse lost her job - thank you Oboma Care! 3. Honey Boo Boo is the devil Mentioned in this podcast Weight of the Nation Video and Book

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Every Day Should be Mother’s Day

Sat, 12 May 2012 19:35:32 +0000

Its little old Dave again, just reminding everyone not to blow off Mother's Day. For whatever reason I decided to do the math and see how many years my Mother has been gone. It's been 23 years. I had her for 24, and for whatever reason this bothered me. From this point forward I will have had less time with my mother than the actual time I did. In going to therapy, its weird what bubbles up to the top. I remember two instances in grade school where I got left of lists. I hope this wasn't intentional, but there is that little voice in my head that will always wonder. I believe that's when I started working on my "shields." You know the one you put up when there are people around who might hurt you. This can be dangerous as you might find that while you don't get hurt, you also can't let anyone near you. As good as you think your shields are, there are those occasions where something gets by you and knocks the wind out of you.

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Whacky Bible Stories Part 1 -Samson and Delilah

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 02:39:53 +0000

In today's podcast I talk about how the Old testament is full of jacked up, hard to believe stories. I was listening on my Youversion app to Judges today and heard the story of Samson. I don't know if you consider him a bible hero (this website thinks so), but in this story we learn: Don't drink when you're pregnant. Wives can whine their way into anything. It's ok to betray your husband. Great lessons for young ladies. Samson takes revenge on his first wife for betraying him. Revenge seems justified here. Hmmm.. Great lessons for young males right? Samson gets another wife name Delilah who also nags him and cries a lot. Eventually this tactic works.Reinforcing the great advice from before. Samson gives into his wife which result in him being a slave and having his eyes gouged out. Thanks wife. Reinforcing that you should ignore a Woman's tears. Blind people were entertainment back in the day. They don't say doing what, but I'm guessing it wasn't juggling. Samson prays to God, and God gives him his super strength one last time and gets revenge and kills everyone. - If you have faith in God he will help you open up a can of whoop-ass.   I'm pretty sure I could learn the same lessons from watching a few episodes of the Jersey Shore Television Show.?????? ?? ???? ?????

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Put Up or Shut Up – It’s Time to Get Weird.

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:19:51 +0000

????????Today I talk about some "Weird" things that have been happening like thousands (that's four digits) have been awarded for my wife and I to go to an INTENSE marriage counseling in Texas. I heard about a national marriage expert named Mark Gungor, and days later he was calling me on the phone. I had a friend of mine turn me on to John McCarthur only to find out that he has a podcast about (you guessed it) MARRIAGE. The church I attend is having a five week series on MARRIAGE. I reached out to my immediate family and was ignored. These are the people who wish I would get divorced. Meanwhile on my birthday it was my wife and one of my step children who posted birthday wishes on my facebook page. I just purchased Weird for my Kindle. This is a book that points out that if you are truly taking the words of the bible and LIVING them in your life. You should look pretty weird compared to most people today. So when I know all of the crap that my wife and I have gone through and we are still trying to save a marriage that I wrote off three months ago -it's weird. I realized that if you are getting married to "complete" yourself you are in for a very RUDE experience. IN FACT, whatever is "Wrong" with you will be AMPLIFIED when you get married. You will probably be messier, (or more of a neat freak), or if you are selfish, you would be MORE selfish (in my situation). I read that fear was not created by God (although the story of Korah in Numbers 16 may produce some fear as a bi-product). I also read that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I have family members who will probably disown me if I stay with my wife. What should I fear more, God or losing my Family? If I truly believe that the bible is the sinpred word of God. If I truly believe every word. If I'm not giving people lips service, I should fear God (as should my family for not forgiving me for being an idiot). In his book The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness John MaCarthur talks about how we should be running to see who can forgive each other the fastest. That when we forgive each other, we imitate God (again, slightly confused where the forgiveness was in Numbers 16). None the less, if I want God to forgive me, I need to forgive others. What kind of legacy will you leave for your kids. What will they say of your actions? My Grandfather was in church every Sunday. I remember that. He sang in the choir. He was a deacon. His ACTIONS are what come to mind. He put his wife first when her health began to fail even if it meant leaving his home. I've always strived to be like my Grandfather. I failed at that challenge. But I also know that I have not seen the last of him and will be reunited with him. He is a Christian. He worked hard. Never lived beyond his means. Was happy even when he was poor. Cherished his wife and kids, and adored his Grandchildren. I never heard him swear. I never heard him raise his voice. How weird.   Websites Mentioned: Mark Gungor Radio John MaCarthur Grace To You Podcast Scott Eiland Astroid Writer Widgets????????

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Courage & Stupidity

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:20:00 +0000

Note: I originally released this episode, and (and this is why I hate talking about the present) I was asked to edit out a portion that didn't agree with some people's "truth." If you for whatever reason you get this episode again (I don't think you should if you've already downloaded it in iTunes - it was only available for about an hour in its unedited version). With this in mind, I present this episode again where I still ask what the difference is between courage and stupidity. I had looked forward to spending Christmas with my family as I had missed it last year. Things had deteriated, and after three days of trying eveything I knew I was asked to leave - and this time I didn't argue. While my family went to Christmas Eve service at our church, I made mutliple trips moving all of my possessions back to my sisters. It's not that we don't knowwhat to do, I'm starting to think that we are just not wired to bend that much. My wife has said everything I wanted to hear. The unfortunate fact is she did it after I left. She is stating that she won't hurt me, that she is deeply remorseful, and is a new person. She feels spirit filled, and she now knows God is the person that should make her feel whole - not her husband. I started thinking about Courage and Stupidity. Both cases involve people not having (or overlooking) fear. Staying married during tough times takes courage, but on the other hand is it stupid? I know what God says. I know God hates divorce. and I also know that Paul states that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Should I stay or should I go as the clash sing. Do I run back into the burning building? Part of me thinks it would be cool to be able to turn around my marriage when everyone thinks I should throw in the towel. When everyone is telling us to pack it in. I know I love to help people. I know I love to break stereotypes. However, at this point I see those qualities as a BAD thing that can lead me into the burning building (courageous) covered in gasoline (stupid). I don't know. For now I read the bible on a daily basis, and I pray to God for wisdom. I haven't really felt and answer. In the past I would just flip a coin. Not this time.

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The Ripple Effect

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 16:06:22 +0000

????????The last thing I want to do is go into 2012 talk about 2010, so I want to kind of jump to then end of the story. This story has been somewhat depressing, and I could spend HOURS going into details, but I'd rather get back to the sarcasm and yuk yuks. On November 28th, 2010 my wife and I had a stupid contest and I won. There are those who think I have not "Paid enough," for my stupidity. One of them being my step daughter who at times would prefer to not be in a room with me (or its a coincidence that family plans that involve me often don't involve her). In fact when she got accepted into college I asked my wife to hand me the phone so I could tell her how proud I was and she hung up before I could say a word. That was a new kind of pain. Its those kind of "Never saw that coming" moments that make this incident into my top 10 most painful experiences. As I adore all of my step-kids this is something that bothers me DEEPLY every day. In addition it makes my wife's life harder as well. At one point my wife was put into a position of choosing between her child and her husband. It was hard for me as one minute I was falling on my sword so she wouldn't have to choose, and then next I was hurt as I was cut off from my wife. I understand her feelings. She does not feel comfortable having a person who she does not trust live with her mother. She listened to us argue for years, so I understand what feeds her fears. For that I apologize.  I had some fantasy that my step kids missed me as much as I missed them. Wow. I 'm not sure what I was smoking. After pleading guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct (a misdemeanor one step above a traffic ticket), I thought I would be coming home. Instead I stayed with my sister until my step daughter went away to college. While my step-daughter will tolerate my existence enough to eat a meal with me, my brother refuses to be in the same room with my wife. I am not exaggerating. I'm trying to follow the bible, and follow its advice on marriage (admittedly, I need LOTS of help), but it does say the two shall be one. When it came time to go to my niece's high school graduation I had to decline (which KILLED me), as my brother could not tolerate her long enough for us to make an appearance. This topic is a whole other podcast, but for now one might say I have lost my relationship with my brother who I love dearly. When my wife told the church that where I was a minister in training what had happened, to make a long story short, they asked me to resign. I got upset, but in the end I did. At first I didn't understand why I didn't get a "Jimmy Swaggert" moment to apologize, but I now understand that one of the priorities of a shepherd is to guard the flock. If my little church would've had to vote, and we had 7 people leave over the results, that would've been 10% of the congregation. I understand their decision, and in talking with other pastors who now pastor the church they grew up in, ALL of them had to leave and come back. Jesus wasn't respected in his home town either. Jesus forgave a woman who was caught fornicating. He told a crowd [...]

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Defeaning Silence

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 04:11:02 +0000

After spending what seemed like eternity in my one night of jail, I waited and waited for them to come open the cell door. I had to give back my uniform (I was bummed as I wanted a souvenir), and prepared to go before the judge. I sat in the same room where I had been "booked" only now there was a television set. I told the cop standing there that I was looking forward to talking to the judge to explain that this was all just a misunderstanding. To this he pointed out that he would not recommend doing that. He suggested I say nothing unless I was addressed/asked by the judge. What? Really? I had no idea what I was getting into, and based on the previous night's experience this lead me to being scared. Was I really leaving today? Finally the judge appeared on my television. I had a camera pointed at me so they could see me in all my striped glory. I heard that my wife was in the courtroom. Oh how I ached to see my wife. I hoped that the camera angles were like those you see in a gas station where the security cam switches to different views every 15 seconds. Maybe I could catch a glimpse of my wife. To let me see she was OK. I could just get eye contact....... But it was a single camera shot. All I get was the judge who wasn't even looking into the camera. There was another person in the courtroom. My wife had been appointed an advocate. She was now the victim. She had victim's rights, etc. She needed protected. I didn't realize it then, but I understand it now. When I closed that cell door, my life changed. Previously I was innocent until proven guilty. Now I was guilty until proven innocent. This goes for the court system, and for certain members of my family. I felt like running to a mirror to see if I had somehow put on a stained white t-shirt with a hole in the shoulder. You know the type of "uniform" that most domestic violence men wear.  It was like someone had placed a "kick me" sign on m back, only it read "wife beater." I again wanted to scream "STOP!, HOLD ON, Can I PLEASE get someone's attention?" Instead I sat with my mouth shut listening to the judge. I learned how I would have to pay for a lawyer to defend me and I had another hearing in about two weeks. In the meantime, there would be a protection order against me and I couldn't be within X-amount of feet of my wife. I could not communicate with her in anyway. If I violated this in any fashion I would be thrown back in jail. Even if she contacted me first, if I answered the phone I could go to jail. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS MISTER JACKSON? "Yes your honor," I answered. I was scared. I was not going back to jail. I had to wait for a cop to escort me back to my house where I was not allowed to talk directly to my wife. I had to ask the cop to ask my wife a question. After about four messages back and forth the cop had enough and said, "Look if you guys can be civil, I'll let you communicate." We talked about the bills that would need paid. How to run the house going forward. The nurse had done me a favor and packed some clothes for me in. This was not in a "get out now" fashion," but more a[...]

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Through His Stripes

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 20:29:26 +0000

There is a Bible Passage that I learned about through the Rock Band Stryper. It's Isaiah 53:5 Which states, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Well today we talking about the stripes of a jail uniform. It's amazing in a way that anything would ever come close to competing for the title of "Worst Day of My Life" with the day my Mother died, the night I spent in jail comes close. In this episode I talk about being booked, and my evening in jail. I'm not sure how anyone ever sleeps in jail. When I finally had to honor "lights out" I found I wasn't alone in my cell. I know this makes me sound insane, but I believe Satan is real, and the voice in my head was not from God, and the things it said were nothing that I would say to myself. You see everything God tells you to put down, and not to carry those burdens. However, behind us is Satan taking notes so that when the time is right he can tell you to pick them all up. With the ability to focus on something else removed, Satan said some of the nastiest things in my head, and reminded me of every person who had ever let me down, and how (in general) I was a piece of crap. I know I've read that you can cast the devil out by evoking the name Jesus, but when Satan has you on the ropes, you trying to recover from the massive body blows he is delivering. Eventually I got up out of my cot, and moved the pillow on the cot above me to find a bible. I thought, "Alright you bastard, now I've got some ammunition." Only the voice had already left...   Whatever it takes. Whatever you do. Do everything in your power to stay on the free side of prison bars.

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The Policeman is Your Friend

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 04:32:34 +0000

Today I talk about the worst day of my life (or definitely in the top 5). It started out as a wonderful day. I had a great day at church, I stopped by Play it Again Sports and found a BRAND NEW Total Gym, and not one of the those cheap ones that you find at department stores. This was THE Total Gym, and it was normally 1,200 and this one was $300. A quick call to the nurse and we decided this was my Christmas present. My Christmas shopping was done, it was a warm and sunny day for November. I drove home to Cleveland, and thought to myself, "What is this feeling????" The Nurse and I had actually put together a few good weeks. We were at least headed in the right direction. I was going to have money for Christmas thanks to my job. I had a great wife, and fabulous kids. Life was good. Praise God. What was that feeling... oh I remember this. I think I was happy. I took the total gym down and put it on the bed. Life can change in the blink of an eye. The last two episodes show how I had been having issues with my wife. I have "pulled back the curtain" to show my warts to show you, to BEG you to get counseling before it gets to a point like what we affectionately call "November 28th" at the Jackson house. I don't want to spoil the ending. I will tell you that this is just the beginning of the "Crap Cannon" of 2010," and I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm looking for you to learn, please learn, from my mistakes. Previous Episodes Tales From the Couch - removed by request. The Prelude Crap Cannon 2010

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The Prelude

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 05:24:13 +0000

I remember at my orientation for the Pastor school. One of the graduating students stood up and said, “Protect your marriages.” Satan does not want you to be a minister, and he will attack your marriage. Well good old Satan, if he is nothing else, he is predictable, and reliable. He came at me with both barrels from the minute I said “I do.” I remember driving back home from my honeymoon. Maybe it’s because everybody and their brother decided to leave at the same time, and it took hours to move yards (and we had hundreds of miles to go), and our wounds from the rafting trip from hell were still healing, but my Wife and I got into an argument. I don’t remember about what, or who, etc., but I do remember that hours later we had crossed state lines a few times and we were still upset with each other.  We are the classic example of a guy being logical, and a woman being emotional. Consequently we often have arguments where I’m talking about A and she is talking about B, and neither one knows it. Now me in my logical sense, I’m explaining things and my wife doesn’t understand (she's not stupid). I re-explain time and time again, and I get frustrated with her. Why? Because behind the scenes she is on another page. Consequently, whatever I’m saying is more than likely making her more upset.  While there are times when I think we won't let go of an opinion cause we want to convince the other person we are right (and that's wrong), for me being a teacher, I just feel I can get anyone to understand anything. Consequently, I always think if I can make just one more point, the light bulb will come on. When you have two people in this situation, in a car, with no escape hatch it isn’t pretty. I had signed on to become a minister in training for my small church. We thought it would take a year. I had just finished school, and while it would suck we knew a year would fly by. SURPRISE! The school is three years. My wife had been sitting at home while I put myself through college, and just as she was ready to get off the couch and start enjoying time with her husband, he goes back to school. As this seemed like a good cause, she supported me in this endeavor. But the marriage was starting with too many surprises. When I got my payment book from my student loans I freaked out. The first time I went to school, my payments were $50. Now I was paying on two loans, and they might as well be another car payment. So much for cutting out all the consulting. Now let’s go back a bit. When I was growing up, there was another person I argued with. He was my Dad. We were both stubborn. I remember once he threatened to pull the car over and let me walk home. I told him to do it. He did. I got out and started walking. My Mom made him stop and told me to get in the car. But this tactic of stopping cars to get attention was now engrained in my head. It was a tactic I would pull on my wife. It was not normal to her. It scared the bejesus out of her. This did not stop me from doin[...]

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Crap Cannon of 2011

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 05:22:25 +0000

I’ve got a feeling, a feeling I can’t hide. The immortal words of Paul McCartney (Not only a great singer/ songwriter - and my favorite Beatle), but one of the best screamers in Rock and Roll. I’ve haven’t put out a better Dave since August of 2010. Wow. That’s a long time. When we last left off, if we look at the big picture, I had started this podcast about me trying online dating. Well I found a wonderful woman, and now she is my wife. Off to walk happily into the sunset.  Then 2011 hit. I thought things in my past were my worst years. The year my mother died. Telling my grandmother she had outlived her child. My divorce/bankruptcy in 2004 when I found out my ex-wife had cheated on me. Well I’m here to tell you, that those years were the warm up acts to 2011. The year has been bad? No. I’ve been bad. To tell the story of 2011 is to tarnish the halo of Dave Jackson.  To potentially add to the group of people who think I’m a monster.  Since the perverbal crap cannon of 2011 fired, I have had a nagging in my soul to tell this story. It seems weird. Why would I want to tell a story where I am the villain? Why tell a story that could cost me employment as a consultant, and give people who hate Christians another reason to say we are all hypocrites. Is this narcissism at its finest? I had to dig deep about this one. My answer? I don’t think so. Yes this will be about me. Yes I’m trying to make a bad situation better, but in the end I want this to be about YOU. One thing that is in my core is a genetic urge to help people.  If I have a skill, and you need it, I will give it to you. If you start a sentence with “Can you help me...” I am ready to say yes before you finish. This has got me into hot water sometimes by overextending myself, but in the end I like to help people. It makes me feel good. I believe that’s why I want to tell this story. If I can help someone avoid what I have been through, it’s worth it. I’ve learned a lot this year. This means that for a while this podcast isn’t going to be the slacked jawed sarcastic wit…. Ok, I’ll still be sarcastic. Try as I might, I have a hard time turning my sarcasm off. But the days of making fun of My Little Skank, or Sex Drugs and Christmas, Private parts that fail, Wild Rides, etc. are going on hold for a bit. If you unsubscribe, I understand. If you’re married I urge you to stick with me. My plan is to make these 15 minutes an episode.  This way if the episode stinks, I only wasted 15 minutes of your time.  Eventually we will return to our regularly scheduled sarcasm. I just know that I want to make people laugh (almost more than I want to help them). Laughter is one of my favorite things to do. But right now I feel like when you’re lost in downtown. Have you ever gone through that? You know where you want to go, but you can’t get there. You can see it, but you can’t take the road you want because it goes the wrong way.  If this podcast is abo[...]

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Family Fued

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 23:58:58 +0000

Today I'm going to do something stupid and talk about my family on my podcast. This involves moving my father to a long term health care. I live an hour north west of my father and brother. Instead of going with the location I found that was about half way between the two of us, I went with a location that was an additional 30 minutes in the wrong direction. This means that if I want to see my father I have to drive an hour and a half. He called on Wednesday and asked for my opinion on moving Dad 90 minutes away from my house, and I said "that will not work, you are going in the wrong direction." There are tons of places that are between the two of us, or worst case scenario, it if was by his house (that would be an hour away). So on Wednesday I explained how this was absolutely not going to work, and on Friday my brother (having power of attorney) moved him there anyway. This is not only further away from me, its further away from everyone in the city where my Dad lives.  I'm not sure how I'm not supposed to be offended. I'm not sure how I'm not supposed to feel invisible, small, and insignificant. So for probably the first time in 30 years, I'm mad at my brother. When I visited the "wonderful" site my Dad was moved to. It's a very nice place, but not that really different from the place that was 40 minutes from my house. The biggest difference was paint. It didn't look so much like a hospital. It had hospital beds, people in nurses uniforms, wheelchairs, etc, but the walls were beige and green instead of white. So I'm driving an additional 50 minutes for a fashion choice. Don't get me wrong, its a great facility with a talented loving staff - that just so happens to be 90 minutes from my house. It's hard to stay mad at my brother (and I won't). You see: My brother was the person was running behind balancing the bike the first time I rode without training wheels My brother was the person who taught me the immortal phrase "lets go piss" which my mother did not find amusing coming from her four year old. My brother showed how to play some cords on the guitar. He was the person who helped me fix my first car. Took me to my first concert Bought me my first baseball glove Was the person who insisted I move in with him when I got divorced/bankrupt Said it was ok to continue living in his house while I got my second degree. My brother stood by me at both my weddings Is the only person on the planet who knows what its like to have Dad as a dad, and my sister as a sister. He is the person who helped me when I got my first house, first car, first guitar, first girlfriend, first...... So I've learned my brother isn't perfect and he made a bad decision. Its partially my family's fault. When my Dad went into the hospital we should've been looking for a place for him to rehab, but we waited instead 9so we didn't have the luxury of time to find other alternatives). So I've been here. I'm mad at my brother. So this is wh[...]

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Role Reversal

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:20:17 +0000

It's funny when you have young kids. How do they get your attention when they are hungry? They scream and cry. You can shake keys at them, put on Barney (or whatever the latest kid tv is), bounce them on your knee and NOTHING matters unless you solve their one problem: THEY'RE HUNGRY. This week my father was disgnosed with Colon cancer. It's a scary place to be and a scary situation to live through. The first night in the hospital, my father had gone through a few tests and he thought they had removed his giant tumor. They hadn't.  What happened was they did a biopsy, and we needed to wait till the next day to get the results. I had been telling my wife how you can't tell me Dad what to do. At 80 years old he knows everything, and nothing will get in his way. He once walked 3 miles to the grocery store. Luckily a friend saw him at the store and gave him a ride home (he hadn't thought throw how he was going to carry the groceries home). After visiting him at the hospital that first night, we only made it to the parking lot before Dad had removed his IV, and was preparing to "break out" of the hospital. I turned to my wife and said, "Welcome to the world of my Dad." We went back to the hospital, and tried to explain to Dad that there was a tumor still inside him. Thankfully my wife still had her nurses uniform on, and she talked some sense into him. He just wanted to eat. He wanted food, and was not going to stop until he got some. So there I was with the roles reversed, with a better grip on the "big picture" than my Dad did. I was explaining what to do, and why these actions were what was best for him. Much like a teenager, he thinks he knows everything. He goes in for surgery on Tuesday, and the road after that will be long and hard. There is no manual for this (except the bible), and it's going to be tough. No human likes change, and nobody likes getting older, or hearing that they "Can't" do (insert task here) anymore. Luckily my wife has lived through this (she onced worked at a nursing home, and obsviously deals with all sorts of situations being a nurse) so she has already been a huge help, but none the less this role reversal will be like a new pair of shoes. They may fit, but they're not comfortable and will take some breaking in?????

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The Wildest Ride of My Life

Sat, 24 Apr 2010 23:11:30 +0000

I spent the weekend with a bunch of Humor Writer at the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. I had an absolute blast. I sat in on a session or two. One was lead by Jerry Zezima (Columnist and author of the book Leave it to Boomer). I have a new appreciation for authors. I do my little stories with sounds and tone of voice. They have words, and only words. Jerry gave us an exercise to think about "the Wildest Ride I Ever Had." My idea came quickly. I was about and we were at Geauga Lake Amusement park (now closed). There was a big wooden coaster that had been around since the days of Howdy Doody, and you were scared to ride it just by looking at it. Not because it was tall and fast, but because you were pretty sure it was going to collapse. Big Dipper was 65 feet high, 2,680 feet long, and had a top speed of 32 mph.  When built in 1927 it was one of the largest roller coasters in America. With this in mind, my Dad and I were the only ones to get on the ride. I hadn't ridden on many roller coasters, and it was cool to actually have my Dad (a long distance truck driver) along for some family fun. I put on my seat belt (with enough room for three other people in it), and grabbed on to the bar that would lock down over my legs. The genius college kids who ran the ride gave some thumbs up and told us to enjoy the ride. As we were going up the hill, I noticed the bar wasn't locked. I moved it, thinking it would lock in place. It didn't. About the time I went to tell my father that it wasn't locked, the coaster shot over the hill. All I remember is my but trying to pass my head, my feet coming off the floor, and my hands clinging on to the bar that was now vertical instead of horizontal. I screamed. I had planned on screaming as I have heard that if you don't you can get sick (which I do on these things). I looked at my Dad who grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me down. He was laughing. Another hill and up I would go. He would laugh and pull me down, much like a two year old plays with a balloon. Up and down, up and down... laugh, laugh,laugh. To this day, I have no idea why he stayed in the car unless he put his seat belt on tight.  It was one of the few things my father and I did together, and it was a complete nightmare.  This by far was the wildest ride of my life.  Thank God my father was there to give me security that I wasn't going to die. I could count on him pulling me back into my seat. I was scared, and comforted at the same time. But Jerry had me thinking outside the box. I walked into my father's house which to this day is still weird. It's where I grew up, and he has let the place go. It's also weird as I expect to see my mother every time I walk in the kitchen (who passed over 20 years ago). I had to deliver bad news. I had done all I could. My soon to be ex-wife had refused to go back to marriage counseling, and we had come to the conclusion that [...]

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Just Plain Hungry

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 11:24:49 +0000

Today I talk about a lovely trip to Chicago where we stop at a Burger King to get something to drink. When we go back to the to the car only to find our GPS missing. We noticed the homeless guy near my car, and like my GPS he was also gone. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that all homeless people are thieves, and con artists. You should donate to those organizations that help the homeless.This way we know the money is being (hopefully) used for good. Today's sponsor Looking for love? I found my wife online. You can to and get a great deal at  

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Half Way To Dead

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:13:08 +0000

I will turn 45 in a little less than two weeks (Feb 8th). I'm starting to feel like Andy Rooney. Looking back at my life here are some thoughts: Every phone had a chord on it. The phone RANG. There were no ring tones. Movies were about $5 and if you didn’t see it at the movies you waited till it came on TV. There was no way to rewind or pause. If you had to do something you had to wait until a commercial came on. Cars ran on leaded gasoline. Speaking of Gasoline, the air was dirty and the sex was clean. Well, it wasn’t lethal anyway I barely, I mean barely remember black and white TV. Captain Kangaroo was cool. Mr. Rogers was not. Ernie was my favorite muppet, but looking back I wonder if Burt was his “partner.” Saturday mornings were spent with Bugs and Friends, and School house rock (educational TV, what a thought).  I would have a bowl of Captain Crunch, or Quisp, or Frankenberry. I remember when we left the cool new “video game” PONG on without turning off the TV and it burned the final score into the screen. It was so much cooler than playing pinball. I was the only kid in first grade who knew who Jimi Hendrix was when he died. Nixon was president and Ali was champ, and you could catch “The Johnny Carson show” (as I called it) at 11:30 for a large part of my childhood. In my opinion, Ali is still the champ. I remember listening to top 40 music on AM radio through the one speaker in dash board of my mom’s Plymouth duster. None of the words were bleeped out. I remember hooking up a CB radio in my bedroom with the antenna going out the window. On occasion I could talk to my friend at the end of the street. (ancient version of text messaging?). I road my bike everywhere. No hill was too tall. I’m not sure how, but my Mom didn’t seem to care that I was gone most of the day. There was no way to reach me. If I was going to be late, I would use a pay phone. I had to be home when the street lights came on. To this day, I never understood how 8-track tape players got popular. They sounded awful, didn’t play right, and often fell apart. I still have two containers of 45 records, and over 400 LPs. I haven’t listened to a single one in about 4 years. I still have a turn table, but nothing to plug it into (and yet I will not throw them away). I am noticing that more and more of my sentences begin with “these kids of today…” I remember life before Google when everyone had a set of encyclopedias. While I vowed as a child to never grow up to be like my Dad, I hear more and more of his words coming out of my mouth directed at my children. He’s kind of cranky and will turn 80 in June. That scares the crap out of me. While I use to be able to get away without wearing my glasses, things are really getting blurry now. The bad news unless I get surgery, my eyesight is only to get[...]

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Just What I Always Wanted

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:40:09 +0000

Today I talk about a gift I got for Christmas. I'm going to be 45 in a few weeks, so I know I'm "Half way to dead." However, what does it say if someone gets you the clapper? I mean the commercial shows some woman who sits up in bed and claps the light off. This woman looks, well, half way to dead. Now the interesting thing is, the clapper is a great GIFT. I mean IT ROCKS. The sad thing is I ended up using it just like the old woman on the commercial. I have it hooked up to the light right next to my bed. Dave turns 45 in a few weeks. Check out what he wants for his birthday

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Problems Vs Annoyances

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:46:23 +0000

Today I share a voicemail I got from a friend of mine Fred Castenada. He is a great guy, great entrepreneur, and has tons of experience. Fred is a Vietnam veteran. Now when I say Vietnam I don't mean the fun, wacky Vietnam you see in the movies with guys smoking cigs, and joking around in the jungle. Fred was and is the real deal. Fred was on the very front line, and live to tell when many of his friends did not. Thank you Fred for serving your country. This Thanksgiving maybe we were talking about a new flat screen tv, or a laptop, or other issues that we wanted to fix. Fred's call lets us see that many of the "problems" we face are really just annoyances. We need to remember to count our blessings that we have food, shelter, and most importantly, nobody shooting at us. I was very shaken when I got a call on Tuesday letting me know that a friend of mine (a music promoter) had taken his life. Walt was a Vietnam vet as well. I'm not sure what problems he had that made him lose all hope, but I'm pretty sure they were just very strong annoyances. I just can't stop thinking about how his little girls are dealing with this, and what does a wife say to her children? Sometimes we get confused as to what a problem is, and what is an annoyance. Thanks Fred for sharing, and for reminding us to count our blessings.

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Dave the Baptist

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:57:08 +0000

?????So where have I been? Well I got a job I hated, and now I have a job I love.  Then the dog ate a whole box of Trix, and then a WHOLE chocolate cake, and then decided to throw up on the couch. It's been fun. The road to happily ever after has taken a new strange twist. I've had an urge to become a pastor for about 4 years (I occasionally fill in for the pastor), and to make a long story short, when the pastor asked to me to think about becoming an interim pastor I said "yes." This means I get to go back to school to learn how to be a pastor, etc and I will be licensed to preach in my church, eventually Ohio, and from there its up to me.

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Can I Help You?

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:13:22 +0000

Today I talk about the sport of having sex when you have children in the house. I also relive July 1972 when the Stones came to town. I wasn't allowed out because of the hippies. Most people talk about the oldest child having very strict parents, the youngest having it too easy (and getting spoiled) and of course the middle child getting lost in the shuffle.  To me none of these apply. The child that has it worst is the child whose bedroom is next to Mom and Dad's. Maybe I'm weird, but when I walk into a room with naked people I typically look down, say "I'm sorry" and leave immediately. I thought this was the standard response for most people. But then again, if you had something very important you might stay to make sure you made your point. Today's show features music from Apa State Mental and the song is "Eaten By Hippes" from the Podsafe Music Network.

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A Relaxing Float Down the River

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:23:33 +0000

Today we finish up with stories from my honeymoon. This time we relive the "relaxing" trip we had riding inner tubes down the little river in Pigeon Forge TN. We had a great time. We have the scars to prove it. We talk about scooter and his death defying dives, taking people out of the river, bees, deathly undertows, all for only $8 for the whole day.

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Dolly Greedy Parton

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:40:23 +0000

According to an AARP article Dolly Parton is worth between 200 and 400 million dollars.  She has done some fine things with her money like she has donated millions of books for parents to read to their children. She created Dollywood and the Dixie Stampede in Pigeon Forge Tennessee which I'm sure brings in some great tax money for the area. She has had a music career that has outlasted many many artists. HOWEVER We went to Dollywood. It was nice. We saw some very beautiful bald eagles. Its interesting in that the typical stereotype of a southerner is a guy named Scooter who has the brains of an ice cube. This then makes you nervous when you hear "Keep you arms and hands inside the ride at all times yall." When Scooter or Goober or Cletus has your life in his hands it makes you just a wee bit nervous. Another fun fact was  I forgot to take my motion sickness medicine and we were worried about me getting sick. We did a few water rides and were having fun. Nothing too scary. Then we got on this coaster that you could only see a small portion of it. That is becuase the majority of it was inside in the dark. I knew I was going to be in trouble. It whipped us around upside down and backwords, and about the time I thought I was going to hurl it stopped. I was flat on my back looking straight up. I looked at Diane and said, "this is bad I need this to be the end." About that time it launched us straight up, and pretty much straight down as it blew fire at our face. A couple of more spins and we slammed to stop. I gagged. I had no good options. If I threw up I had a choice of spewing on the teenagers beside me, hurling on my wife, or swallowing it. I closed my eyes and tried to go to my happy place. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. The little boy turned to me and asked, "Are you ok?" without looking at him I said, "No." The boy next to him let out a "Man that was awesome." Diane frantically tried to get somebody's attention to let me get off quick. He asked again, "Are you OK?" Again without looking at him I said, "No." Then the car in front of me emptied and the moved my car up and then stopped it suddenly. Here came the flood. I put my hand over my mouth to stop anything from coming out.  This was one of the grossest things I've ever had to do. Diane again frantically tried to get someone's attention. The car moved again, and my restraints were loosened. I ran to the nearest waste basket and for whatever reason had a dry heave. The good news bad news. The good news was I wasn't doing the technicolor yawn. The bad news is I was dizzy, tired, sopping with sweat. We slowly made our way to the park exit. Thankfully we had hit all of the attr[...]

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Who Wants Pancakes?

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:35:07 +0000

Diane (my wife) and I  headed off for our honeymoon. Destination Pigeon Forge Tennessee. It was about a 9 hour drive and on the way we listened to the radio, and finally popped in an audio book about making your second marriage work.  It helped pass the time, and kept us alert. We got to Tennessee and when we got to Pigeon Forge it looked like a hillbilly version of the Vegas strip. Instead of spectacular hotels, you had a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, followed by, a pancake house. I’m not making this up. In a one mile stretch there were 5 pancake houses. I would also guess that on the other side of the pancake house was a “Barb B Cue” joint and on the other side of the pancake house was a fireworks place. With this in mind, if I ever meet someone with barbecue sauce on his shirt, maple syrup on his chin, and 9 fingers I’m going to guess he is from Pigeon Forge TN. On the other hand the Smokey mountains were breath taking. Seriously. Wow. Luckily Diane said, “We better find the cabin before it gets dark” as I wanted to get something to eat. The map from the cabin people’s website said, “do not use mapquest or they will send you on dirt roads.” We followed the map and I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I mean I know it’s a mountain, but the road went almost straight up, and had serious hair pin turns with no guard rail. If you were to slide off the road, you were going straight down. Needless to say this made Diane just a smidge nervous. It had me clutching the wheel with both hands as I would white knuckle it around a corner hoping there was more road under my tires. Our drive was an even steeper climb which was off the previous steep climb road. It also had another turn “blind” turn where you have no idea what you are turning on to. It had rained a bit before we showed up, and in some cases water would come out of the mountain and make the road wet. Kind of an “instant river” right in the road. Consequently, when I went to climb our driveway I spun my tires. Luckily, I made it up on the second attempt. Our log cabin was gorgeous. It had a pool table, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, etc. It just oozed cozy. It also had water pressure that dripped out of the shower. Consequently, we spent a large amount of our first day relaxing in the hot tub waiting for Gomer to show up and fix the water pressure issue. Later that day we decided to go hiking and get up close and personal with Mother Nature. After talking with someone at the visitor center, we decided to go to Laurel Lake Water Fall trail. It was fairly short, paved, and sounded lovely. Now when we thin [...]

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My Wife’s Name is Diane

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:36:46 +0000

Today I'm playing snippets from my wedding to the lovely Diane (formerly known as "the Nurse").  The wedding day is a bit of a blur. Everything went off without too much stress. The honeymoon stories will be following (much more entertaining than the wedding ceremony probably). So here is what you get: The Vows "the countess" (my 16 year old step-daughter) sings (and I play the guitar) I sing a bit (again snippets). Pronounced man and wife Music From the podsafe music network.  The Root Doctor "Me and My Wife." The music this episode is from Root Doctor from the podsafe music network. The song is called "Me and My Wife" and is available on CD, or as a Download at CDbaby. You can also find out more about the band at

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Two Things to Avoid

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:21:19 +0000

Let's count the people who had had their lives take a turn for the worse after having a reality show about their life. If your show gets an audience, it seems to ruin your life. Nick and Jessica Simpson (divorce) Dave Navare and Carmen Electra (divorce) Jack and Kate + 8 (c'mon - Divorce) The Osbournes (Kids went to rehab). Hulk Hogan (divorce) Anna Nicole Smith (death) And now MC Hammer is going to have a reality show. He is not well known for making good business choices in the past, and it appears he is still at it. David Carradine Dies with a Noose Around His Junk I'm not sure why a "Standard" orgasm is not enough for some people. This puzzles me. I mean,  I don't think I''ve ever uttered the phrase, "Man that orgasm was awful!" Auto-erotica is some funky way of having sex where you basically bring yourself to the point of orgasm and death at the same time.  So when someone comes to me and says, "Here is your noose," I'm afraid I'm going to have to say, "I'm sorry this doesn't sound like a good idea." There are alegations that he was wearing fishnets and a wig, that he had sex with family member(s). His fourth wife cited his feakiness in their divorce papers. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'll just take the "same old sam old" orgasm. No need to super size me, or wrap a noose around my junk.

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So This is Parenting?

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:33:47 +0000

I went to a concert and saw a small girl who was just F A T. I watched and she shoveled more pizza, pepsi, brownies, popcorn into her pie hole. When she went back for more, her Mother (finally) said no. The girl cried. Mom caved. It was sad and hard to watch. I had to deliver a punishment to my future step-son. It wasn't easy, but I know in the end this is what is needed to teach our children to follow rules, respect their parents, and that (unfortunately) you don't always get to do what you want to do. Music "Step up" by Dona Oxford from the Podsafe Music Network ( ) check out Dona at

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Student Centered Learning

Mon, 11 May 2009 19:21:18 +0000

backgammon free casino money free craps game play free black jack craps video poker strategy play black jack online how to win video poker casino game online uk best casino online casino secure online gambling jackpot casino online casino black jack learn to play craps how to win at video poker craps online blackjack casino game online casino betting free on line video poker casino games no download casino online gambling casino play free casino slots video poker machine bonus video poker free on line slots double bonus video poker free video poker games free casinos roulette online craps rules free on line casino rules of craps online casino free money blackjack 21 internet casino how to play craps free casino game download fortunelounge online casino free casino download free casino card game free roulette game free casino play no deposit free money casino internet casino online Today I talk about my college experience as it is now complete and behind me. I am amazed at how we learn over and over that we need to get our children to learn math and science. We learn that the United States of America is LOSING to other countries, and we can't keep saying "We're Number 1" too much longer. I am amazed at the stupid topics, sloppy delivery, unorganized delivery of topics that was my education. I learned the most when I got behind and got my first "F" ever. I learned that I'm not Superman, and I can't always put things off, and catch up later. I learned that you need balance in your life. That you occasionally have to say "No" to people to keep your sanity. I'm glad I don't have to listen how I need to be sure to work examples into my lesson plans that transgendered people can relate to. After all, we all have our own tastes and cultures. Unless I'm teaching a cooking class, and the subject is cutting up hot dogs, I'm not going to be able to related to a transgendered person. I'm not saying these are bad people, but I'm not saying this is a "normal" or better "natural" occurrence. I know, I know, I'm judgmental.  I need to keep my opinion to myself so you can voice your opinion about how wrong my opinion is. Funny how that is... You're negative opinion about me is ok, my negative opinion about you is "judgmental." There are two ways to learn something. You mimic the actions of those who do it exceptionally well, or you do the polar opposite of those who completely, without a doubt, suck at it.

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I Lost the Little Guy

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:01:18 +0000

Today I talk about how my life has not been very eventful. Then my ex-wife called me at 3:30 in the morning to let me know that a dog (that used to be my dog) was lost. She had let him outside, but she couldn't find him. Now the interesting thing is, this dog had SERIOUS problems walking. So how drunk do you have to be to lose a dog who can't walk? This brought up to thoughts for me. First, even though I am an award winning teacher, I can't get this "Student" to understand the concept that she has a drinking problem. However, I am a huge failure when it comes to this. Secondly, it has been many years since I separated from my first wife. I have done things, and taken steps to make my life better. I've been lucky enough to find a wonderful woman to share my life with me (who has fabulous kids to boot). I'm getting ready to graduate with my second degree. My life has moved on for the better. Meanwhile my ex-wife is still at square one. Sad. While I could cut off ALL communication with my ex (I talk to her for a few minutes about every 7-12 weeks), but unfortunately when someone talks about "Chrisitans" I would put big money on my face coming into her (or her family's) mind. So I try to do what Jesus would, and be nice, and hopefully she will see that my life is better due to my faith. She called again, and I was very tempted to answer the phone with "ARE YOU SOBER THIS TIME?" But instead I took a deep breath, and answered normally. I am glad I held my temper. She again was crying, but this time it was because the dog had seizure and she had to have him put to sleep. My "Little Guy" that I used to watch the Cleveland Browns with was gone. He was so little. So cute. I loved that dog a lot, and I will miss him. catv

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Surviving Your Wedding – A Guys Guide

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:42:55 +0000

online casino Here are some tips for future grooms as you prepare for your wedding: If she says she wants a small wedding. marry her immediately do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. Saying things really romantic like, "I'm just excited to say I do and spend the rest of my life waking up next to you" have no effect. The marketing machines have hammered a large wedding into her head. You can't win. No, I'm sorry. You CAN'T WIN. Realize that while she wants you to be involved in the wedding, she doesn't actually want your opinion.  Never the less, you need to be there to be "involved." Speaking of opinion, you probably don't have one, especially when it comes to table center pieces, flowers, invitations. DO NOT say "I don't care." Instead ask which one she likes and agree with  her. Also, never say things like "It's YOUR wedding, it is ALWAYS OUR wedding. Not THE wedding, its OUR WEDDING. Under no circumstances ever should you ever refer  to your wedding as a "Dog and Pony Show." This will not go over well. :)

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Check Please!

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:01:19 +0000

I'm typically a hard person to find speechless, but when my Ethics teacher presented us a blog posting about a Japanese video game called "Rapelay"  where the goal of the games was to rape women and force them into having abortions. I grew up playing Monopoly and operation.  I was speechless. I mean how does that go down? Does Hop Sing come running and and go "I've got a great idea for a game where YOU can be the rapest," and everyone goes "By george he's got it!" I mean seriously. How does this have a market so that people would even ponder the thought of creating it in the first place? What's next Old McDonald's Bestiality Video Game? I suppose if I stand up and say, "I embrace free speach, and I embrace other cultures, but this is messed up" I'm going to be labeled "judgemental." If this is the case, what would be classified as wrong? I just know at this point, I've seen enough. It's sad, and I feel ashamed to be human. I want off the planet. "Check please!" lets box it up and get out of here.

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My Imaginary Friend

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 13:44:44 +0000

When I was growing up I was always amazed at how adults were fascinated about me having an imaginary friend. So I made up a friend that made no sense (he lived on top of a water tower). This delighted the adults. The more ridiculous the story, the more they would laugh, and I like to make people laugh so I would occasionally indulge them and talk about "Fako." Our fascination with fake people continues as "Reality TV" shows makes "Stars" out of people (with their fake nails, fake boobs, fake lips, fake tatoos, fake hair, fake tan) who come on the show and try to "keep it real." The only thing real about reality TV is that IT'S NOT REAL. This was partly due to Ozzy Osbourne as his show seems crazy. Well guess what folks, Ozzy is NUTS. This is why his show worked, and why almost every show after it has not. Now we have Rock Of Love (with Brett Michaels from the band Poison). This time its for real. Where are the real people. Where are the heroes for our children to look up to? Music By Top Johnny from the Podsafe Music Network "Keep it Real."

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Mushmouth You’re Fired

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 06:20:42 +0000

Today I talk about some horrible movie I had to watch for my education. It is some skit done by professors at the University of Akron. The fun part is one of the professors has a horrible speach issue. Now I don't want to be insensitive, but this guy would be good to work the camera, the lights, hand out bulletins, but NOT have a speaking part where his answers are (literally) three minutes a piece. Then throw on top of it one of my customers is releasing a hypnosis CD and I get to tweak the audio.

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The Last Semester

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:50:20 +0000

Today I talk about the struggles of my last semester at college. I got quite the run around, and when things were back on track I was grateful, but curious as to why I never received an apology. I also talk about the joy of paying thousands of dollars for classes that are absolutely crap. My ethics class has spent two days answering the question, "Is murder wrong becuase God commands it, or is murder wrong so God acknowldges this and thus cammands it. I love that we are not saying what is right and wrong, but in this case, we need to beleive that you don't need God (so we can study ethics). It only took two classes to kick God out of the classroom. Again.

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Dick Clark’s Rotten Eve

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:10:55 +0000

Today I'm talking about my New Year's eve. I was watching Dick Clark's rockin' eve hosted by Ryan Seacrest. It was fairly horrible. The interesting thing is when I was growing up Dick Clark was for the younger people and Guy Lombardo was for the old folks. Now Dick Clark is for the older folk like me. Well Dick had a stroke 2 years ago and apparently has not recovered a whole lot. They dragged him out last year so we could try to decipher what he was saying. This year I wondered, "Are they going to dust off Dick?" They did and he has had some work done on his face, and apparently has not been attending his speak therapy as regularly as he should. This saddens me. I don't want to be reminded that he is not the Dick Clark I remember. мебелиTAKE THE POLL My Petco Advertisement I wanted to let everyone know that as food was not covered on the petco discounts I have asked to be removed from that advertising campaign. Everyone I asked, "What do you buy at Petco?" answered, "Food." Thanks to MEvio for letting me out of my contract. Nothing against Petco, but I didn't feel comfortable with this campaign.

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Sex, Drugs, and Christmas

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:13:50 +0000

Today I come to you with the demented slant on Christmas music. This was caused by hearing the same 14 songs over and over. I mean I love Andy Williams, but not for four weeks straight. It turns out that while rock music is about Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll, Christmas music is the same. BONUS TOPIC: I also took my fiance's 15 year old daughter driving for the first time in an abandonded Target parking lot. It was just as exciting as an amusement park ride. She did great, and it will be fun helping her get her liscense. 2009 is going to be the year. I'm going to graduate, get a job, and finally marry the nurse. This has potential to be the best year of my life. I'm also going to get into shape. Why not join me at Shopping? Go to

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Greedy Santa

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 01:25:43 +0000

I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken." It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place "business casual" as the new dress code). We were told, "Here are the packages." Packages? I just need a picture. What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a "Package." That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you. SCREW YOU SANTA! SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON!

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She Said Yes

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:55:27 +0000

Today I talk about me popping the question last week to "The Nurse" and she made me very happy by saying yes.  Today I talk about the absolute guys view to engagement ring shopping. There is a strange aerobic dance that women do when they put on a ring. She loves choices. I mean she LOOOOOVVVES choices, and I love that she loves choices. I am a very lucky man. We will be tying the knot on June 20, 2008. Yes I got on one knee. It was nothing too fancy (I had fancier ideas, but if I didn't give her this ring soon, I was going to be in deep trouble). Music "She's the Girl" from Bartdorf & McClean Batdorf & McLean "She's The Girl" (mp3) from "Don't You Know" ( Buy at iTunes Music Store Buy at Rhapsody Buy at Napster Stream from Rhapsody Buy at Amazon MP3 Buy at GroupieTunes Buy at mTraks More On This Album Buy at iTunes Music Store

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Your Kids Are Not A Weapon

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:54:21 +0000

Today I talk about something I keep on seeing. I keep seeing divorced parents using their children as a tool to get back at their ex.  This is truly amazing when I think about it. You are so focused on your own grudge, and your hate of your spouse (deserved or not) that you will knowingly put your kid in the crossfire between you and your ex. Shame on You. Isn't one of the biggest parts of being a parent putting your children first? When you blow off visitation. When you say things that hurt. It hurts 10 times as much because you are their parent. If you keep on hurting and hurting your children you leave them no choice but to "Demote" you and remove the importance of your words. You are a parent on paper only. When a child is forced to this action, there is no undo. When you lose time with your kids you can't get it back. They are only this age once, and when you miss it you can't get it back. There is no "undo" in life like there is on a computer program. You can't wash off the pain in a few seconds. This same theory also applies to kids who totally disrespect their parents. If you continue to hurt your parent over and over, eventually they have to disconnect from you (and you are only their child on paper). They are left counting the days until you turn 18. There is a Christina Aguilera song called "Hurt" and there is a line "I hurt myself by hurting you." So when we hurt each other, and drive people out of our lives, we deprive ourselves of loving caring relationships.

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Calling in Some Favors

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:38:13 +0000

rent a car bulgariaToday I talk about some interesting "coincidences" that happen as my old car died (199,009 miles ) and I got approved for a car loan (I couldn't even get a best buy card a few months ago). And I needed a reliable car as I drive about 400 miles a week. Luckily a nun with a 2003 Toyota Corolla traded in her car (with 39,000 miles on it). I got a car that I will have to work to afford the car payments, but I don't have to worry about it breaking down. I had started off the day with Joel Osteen in my head saying "God wants to do you favors if you just ask." So I did, and he did. Thanks God. Love and Respect Key Points: Your relationship will have issues. Men and Women are different. When you learn how to address the differences, you have a better chance to get off the "Crazy Cycle." The crazy cycle says that when a man acts in a non-loving way to his spouse, she feels unloved. When she feels unloved she acts disresepectful to the man. When the man feels unrespected, he acts in a non-loving way (and aroudn and around you go). Its a great book and a great conference. Check out Love and Respect at

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Sex with Mom And Dad

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:42:56 +0000

I'm not making this up. MTV has a new show "Sex with Mom and Dad" where Daddies little skank has been knocking boots with her boyfriend without protection so we bring in Doctor Drew to get her to talk about the details of her sex life with her parents. They are so proud that she's going to be a responsible slut. I couldn't take it when the switch to the homosexual who dates "bad boys" and his Mom doesn't approve. 911 Cab Service People are calling 911 to get an ambulance to take them to the corner drug store. They won't help themselves. This is an EMERGENCY number. People Who Have Quit Life I went to a school for high school children who "couldn't make it in a normal school." They are from ages 12-22. There is a probation officer on site. This is funded by you and me via taxes. This is their last chance to get a diploma. All they have to do is show up and breathe. There are no tests, quizzes, OR GRADES. There are competencies. If you can do this, you pass. If you miss three days in a month, you are kicked out (but can sign up again next month). This opened up my eyes and I just can't conceive the idea of quiting life, and expecting the world to do everything for them. I was the first kid in my family to graduate from college. I've paid for every dime of my college (both times except for a few grants). It's taken me longer, but I've done it. I didn't sit back, expect someone to do it for me. It's just sooooooo weird, and yet I saw it with my very own eyes. I'm happy that there is this oportunity who do want to try. However, for the 25% (my number, just guessing) who are sleeping in class, we are paying for the school, and we are paying for their welfare. It's time for them to pick up the check. Worst case scenario they go to jail - and WE PAY FOR THAT TOO. I don't have an answer. Hope is not a drink we can sell them, they drink it, and they're fine. It just doesn't happen. The bad news is the people who are working are paying for these people, and as the economy goes into the toilet we need to look at things to cut. If these people will not even try to help themselves then... I don't know. Do you?

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Fixing the Credit Crisis

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 05:47:58 +0000

My New Name is AIG So the US Government is broke. Here is a solution: Instead of giving 85 billion to greedy pigs on wallstreet, why not give it to everyone who is an adult in the US? (301,000,000 people). Give the government 30% (so they get 25,500,000,000 back immediately). This would leave everyone with 297,500 to um. PAY OFF THEIR HOUSE, or their credit cards, or their sutdent loans, and nobody is in debt, and everyone wins. This includes the people who screwed up on Wall street, and the people fighting over seas. Why can't we do this? If we're going to pay someone PAY ME! Dates From Hell Show Launched The nurse and I have launched a podcast together. Its about finding love online (like we did - celebrating 2 years in about two weeks). If you have a dating horror story, or a success story call it in 866-97-DATES. We will be providing advice to avoid the pitfalls of finding your true love online. Check it out at MUSIC: Starewell - Broke and Out of Money courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network Find them at or buy their stuff at iTunes or get it DRM Free at

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I’m No Jock

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 12:33:43 +0000

Being a sports fan in Cleveland is a painful experience. We have the Cleveland browns who start every year losing every game. Then they kick into gear and back their way into the play offs and lose in the first round. We have our basketball team with Lebron James. He's from Akron (thank God, now I can say something besides DEVO came out of Akron), and while he is phenomenal we get to the finals and lose. Then we have the Indians. We have a mascot (its an Indian name "Chief Wahoo"). So when you go to the stadium to watch a game does Chief Wahoo entertain you? No. Who entertains you? Slider. What's slider? I DON'T KNOW. All I know is he is ugly. He looks like Barney the dinosaur on heroin with a really bad rash. I just want him to fall. I am filled with glee when I can watch Slider get his ass kicked The Ryder Cup I heard a commercial for the Ryder cup. You know that thing where people from the USA and Europe play golf. You think it was a wrestling commercial. I listen and ask, "They are talking about golf right?" For a moment I thought they were going to beat each other with their clubs, but it turns out they are still just chasing the white ball. Competitive Dude I have't played volleyball in about 15 years, but I attempted to a few weeks ago. I like to play sports for fun. It's great exercise. But inevitably some guy will come along and start saying things like "Aw man!" when you miss a shot and take all the fun out of it. In this case I bounced a ball of my knuckles and "competitive due" comes over and lets me know that you can't control the ball when you hit it off your knuckles. I never would've guess that as I chase the ball into the neighbors yard. Thanks competitive dude!

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Garbage In Garbage Out

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:32:38 +0000

My sister in law teaches second grade. Did you know the parents of students that get flunked can veto the flunk and send them into the next grade? It's true. Why? Because nobody wants to make children feel bad. There is no accountability. She had 17 out of 27 students last year that didn't speak english. These people couldn't be flunked, well, because they couldn't spell flunked. They were "ESL." So I am doing student teaching now. I'm with these kids 20 years in the future and the can't comprehend anything because they have not been pushed. There have been no consequences. They still feel good about themselves, but they are so far behind the rest of the world that it will take them a bit to get caught up and be ready. Where if we had told them they "didn't cut it" and they need to bring their learning skills "up a notch," they may not be in this bind. Let me say something, these are NOT stupid people. It is a group of people that either their parents, their schools, etc have not held them accountable for their education. The result is people in their 20s who are ending week 2 of school and haven't purchased the book yet. We have people who create and online account (login and password), and then can't remember the password. That's ok, we sent the password to their e-mail, and they couldn't remember the password to their email. Again, these people are not stupid. They've just never been held accountable for their learning. Mentioned in the this episode Dave Ramsey "Total money Makeover" Let me know more about you. Go to Get 10% off your order at using the coupon code " music " and get free shipping on orders that are $39 or more. Music "Volume Brothers" from the Podsafe Music Network. "Hey You, why are you so stupid?" This show originates from

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Flight of Ideas Friday

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:03:29 +0000

This show originates from  Words are fun. I want to know who gets to decide when a word is officially a word. I was at a Cleveland Indians game and the other team had a guy named Chone Figgins. (his full name is Desmond DeChone Figgins ). Why do we name the first poo of a baby meconium If it's that special why don't we put it in a jar and sell it? Look at meconium fix this broken coffee cup! Look it's strong enough to pull this 18 wheel truck! Likewise why do we need to name certain body parts. Do we really need the word Taint? apparently the Taint used be called the perineum. Was that not good enough? Shouldn't words be taken into committee to see if we really need the word? Be sure to tell your daughters to threaten a "kick to the taint" to pressing males. When they go "a what?" they can then run away. I still hate Elvis. We all know Little Richard was the king of Rock and Roll and the Beatles and Elvis stole it all from him. I still hate Star Trek John Lennon liked words.....and acid, but that's another podcast. Having a bad day? Too hot for you? Go grab a box fan and a towel. I've got the cure. Do you have a cell phone? Don't have time to exercise? Walk and Talk people! Walk and talk took me from a size 8 to a size two! Thank you walk and talk! When I was growing up I used to take a sheet and a box fan and sleep in a blimp. Looking back this is a bad idea. Sounds like a great way to lose a finger.

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What Would Shawn Do?

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:42:08 +0000

My Cousin's memorial service was people explaining how Shawn was "being Shawn" and tale after tale on what a great friend he was, and how he just didn't care for rules. He definitely would color "outside the lines." So as I walked away from the service I thought, "I could stand be to a bit more bold." I don't want to be rude, but there are times when I'm sitting at the key counter of life being ignored that I need to stand up and say HEY! MAKE MY KEY! In my latest class I'm learning that there are no more illegal immigrants. Now we have undocumented immigrants. PAH-LEASE! It's called illegal. I L L E G A L. I had a friend who marriedan "undocumented immigrant" and one day with his daughter watching immigration came and took him back to Mexico. If he was simply "undocumented" could they have not just said "Oh here you are" and documented it and let him stay? NO! He was ILLEGALLY in the country. The Nurse is now on my phone plan. oooooh. Music "Take It In" by courtesy of the podsafe music network at

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When I Grow Up…

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:58:51 +0000

Normally I don't talk about things that involve other people, but this weekend I attended a great event. I went to a family reunion with the Nurse.  I had a phenomenal time. First thing first this family takes the time once a year to get together and catch up. How cool is that? In a day when many people don't get along with their families, this one takes time to come from all over the place to get together. The nurses Mom has an awesome laugh, and she never stopped. It was great. I met an Uncle who is 92, and his legs didn't work very well, and he used a Walker. Was he grumpy? Not at all. He had a smile on his face the entire day. When he got up to leave (getting up was a bit of a struggle) did he complain? Not one word. He loves life. He loves his family. I also met an Uncle who had come in from California. Here was the interesting thing about this guy. He takes family ties very seriously. It sound like he would hunt down a 2nd cousin through marriage twice removed just to say hi. He also was a musician so obviously we started geeking out on music. But the thing that really got me, is how friendly this guy was. And I'm not talking about the plastic kind you get at business parties. When I left, he shook my hand, and I got the felling that if I said "Hey I'm going to be in California for 2 days, can I crash at your crib"; after knowing me for 4 hours he'd would not only say yes, but roll out the red carpet. I remember when I used ot teach customer service classes I would explain to people to greeet your customers like an old high school buddy that you hadn't seen in years, and this guy had it down, and the key point here is it was genuine. I guess in a world of spoiled rich athletes, crooked politicians, greed, etc It's kind of hard to find someone to say "When I grow I wanna be like him," but after going to this picnic I want to be like these guys.

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He Was Here A Minute Ago

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 05:06:43 +0000

I lost my cousin Shawn Steinmetz this week. He was 33, and has two very young daughters. It was a freak bike accident. He was here a few weeks ago for my nieces graduation party, and now he's gone. I don't have all the details, and in reality it doesn't matter. Hug your kids. Call your parents. Love the one your with. Speaking of Love... On the way to Podcamp Ohio the Nurse (my girlfriend) and I drove to Columbus and listened to a book (something like saving your marriage before it even starts). Once again I hear how a man needs to make the woman feel cherished. To do this he has to give up anything she asks for. Then because she loves him, she will give it back. This seems inefficient. Why not just believe me, and we can bypass the giving and giving back. I guess it doesn't work that way. UPDATE Please note: At the end of this podcast I mention how you "have to give up everything." This is NOT what the book states. This is the "warped" version in my head. The bottom line is a relationship is give and take. My whole comment was its funny how you may need to give up something to show a woman that she is special, and important - and then she will give it back (and that this seems like alot of work to end up where you started). Here is the Book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

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Kids Are Like Electric Football

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:37:53 +0000

Today I introduce you to my new Great Nephew. He sure is little. It really drove home the point of how absolutely life changing kids are. I can honestly say that at age 43 I'm glad I don't have this kind of responsibility that is soooo 24/7. I talk about how "The Countess" has made the "Show Choir." This scared me as if she had not made it, I would've been there for the melt down, and I want the best for all of "The Nurses" kids (and I'm not sure I could take watching the meltdown from the front row).  Luckily I got to be part of the celebration. One thing as I "Hang out" with children of all shapes and sizes, I can see where the roll of the parent really comes into play. Kids have their own personality. It sure seems like they are preprogrammed to go in a certain direction. It reminds me of "Electric Football." A game my brother and I got for Christmas (pre-Atari). This game had some vibrating device on the bottom, and a flat (or supposed to be flat) surface that the players would stand on. You could adjust some stuff on the player, and point them in the direction you wanted to go. You had the perfect plan. Then you would turn on the electricity and half the team would fall over, another 20 percent would go in circles, and many of the player would end up in the corner driving straight into the wall because the surface wasn't flat. As a parent (coach) you picked them back up and pointed them back in the direction you wanted to go, turn on the electricity and hope things turn out for the better. Music "He's My Baby!" from (phenominal pianist/singer/songwriter). From the Podsafe Music Network at

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Cereal Killer

Wed, 14 May 2008 01:46:28 +0000

Today's show has the F word it. You've been warned.   This is one of the "weird" episodes where I just wonder why things go into my mind at certain times. I happened to notice that Apple Jacks has no mascot while most children's cereals have a mascot (Tony the Tiger, Lucky for Lucky Charms, The rabbit for Trix, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, The Bee for Cherios). It turns out there IS a mascot that was launched in 2005, but apprently it never caught on. Does anyone remember Euell Gibbons and his crazy "Eat a pine cone" commercials for Grape Nuts. What marketing person thougth this made me want to eat this cereal. Also did you know there was a fourth Crispy Brother? Roy. (OK, I stole that from David Letterman). NEVER USE THE WORD CLUSTER when talking about food. Brownies are the bastard son of the cake family. If we didn't have the word "muffin" we would all be eating cup cakes for breakfast. Music today by the band Gecko 3 www.gecko3.comfrom the Podsafe Music Network at

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Drive By Schooling

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:41 +0000

Today I talk about one of my life’s most embarrassing moments. I made a huge mistake, and I thought about not talking about it on the show. However, the “teacher” in me took over and I thought “If someone can learn from my mistake, it’s worth it.” All signs point to me not passing a class this semester. While I’ve always had good grades, this semester I’m not going to be able to come in at the last minute and save the day. While most politicians don’t understand the concept of accepting your responsibility, I’m here to say “no excuses” and say this was ALL MY FAULT. I’m very upset that I somehow lost my mojo, I took on things I shouldn’t have, and I should’ve said NO when I said yes. I kept thinking I would get back to school and get caught up. I wonder if subliminally that when I go so far behind, if I just didn’t give up. I think I always could get caught up eventually, and I just flat out ran out of time. I have done nothing but examine this semester over the last few days trying to figure out what went wrong and why. The biggest thing was I needed to print out the syllabus and put it into my calendar so I could keep track of assignments and know when quizzes were scheduled. Who’s fault is that? MINE. You might say, “But Dave you’re too busy.” I need to learn the word “NO” and USE IT. School and graduation is now priority number 1. That will never change. So bad things do happen to Dave Jackson. I’m not a super hero who can save the day. Its one thing to get wounded in battle, and it’s another thing shoot yourself in the foot. I don’t like to suck. I hate being average, so to FAIL a class makes me want to die. It’s like Dave Jackson died. I – David Jackson – don’t fail. Well I used to be able to say that. This sucks. If you don't learn the word NO, you will learn it when people say it to you as in "No you can't graduate," and "No, the class is n[...]

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