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breaking the spell of the typical

Updated: 2018-03-07T13:25:02.360-08:00


the curtain call


FINALLY! blogspot is on again. gosh, I was so pissed when I found out that the government blocked this site.

anyways, I am moving on to the next phase of my life. 

after spending a year back in jakarta, I realize that I've been clinging too much on the habits and way of thinking that I used to posses as a 19 year-old student in Sydney.

I'm 20, a diploma graduate with stacks of dreams to fulfill, who's running out of time.

all of those memories of fun life that was far from responsibility are great, but I have to shake them off and get real.

to mark this resolution, I announce my new blog
as the new platform to express my thoughts and opinions, with a simpler style.


thanks for hitting this blog for more than 2000 times in just a few months! I am flattered. 

now, spread the word will ya? link it to your website,blog, fb, twitter, and any other social addictions you're into. i'm looking for your comments, and your friends and their friends' too.

do come back here and check the archives every once in a while if you want ;)


the 'trying so hard'-ers at 365


4th of November 2009, 'Facehunter' party at 365 Ecobar, Kemang.

so basically this infamous photographer/blogger came to Jakarta for 3 days. he's known for the street style photographs he took all over the world (like the Sartorialist). knowing this, tons of people came to the party to meet him, and of course, to get photographed by him.
the party was literally boiling. people dressed their best, to impress yvan. some even pulled him, talked to him like they've known him forever, and danced with him like they would sleep with him.
poor yvan rodic, he was like squeezed and touched by girls dying to be his model.
the girl behind, in white, on the table? behind her, there was another girl. who was wearing a long black tutu, looking like Rob Zombie's bride. with her red lips, she was banging her hands on the wall, trying to look like she was so into the beat. and of course, yvan took a picture of her.

do you really have to embarrass yourself and look very odd for people to notice you?

being the 'cool & don't-want-to-look-like-i-want-to-be-photographed' girl,
I finally got out of my box and said hi to him. he photographed my face, with his camera only 5 cm away from me. it must be one sweaty picture of mine. with my pores all over. haha. whatev.
at least, I learned how to do some 'networking' and talk to famous people without being too perky. coz it's really not my style, seriously.

I prefer Alexa Chung's poise rather than Miley Cyrus' over-bubbly-ness.

Five Day Southeast Asian Getaway


they meant 'finger-lickin' good. this somehow sounds kinky to me.

jalan Alor fritters. so you fry them yourselves (with over-used cooking oil) and dip them in the sauce.
RM 1 - RM 4 per stick. I was having oyster.
buking bintang intersection. the city of KL has all the advanced facilities, but poor sense of belonging
wat-arum. wat means temple. arum means light. a truly ancient Thai masterpiece
my little heaven of croco bags in Bangkok. got the cheapest one with only 200 Bhat (Rp 60,000)
al-cazar cabaret show. yea..they're all transgenders. some of them look like manohara, dewi sandra, and titi kamal. the operation only costs US$ 1,600-ish.

let's do another round, girls. can't wait for the next trip.

featured in ABC's Rantang


check this out y'all, my dear friend Karina wrote a piece about my view of Indo & Aussy media in ABC's Indonesian students blog called Rantang.


without any intention of being such a media know-it-all, I'm just pouring my brain out. So, please read and comment :)



the way you treat a creation reflects the way you feel about the creator.

those who treat others as objects and commodities say something about themselves.
it shows how their soul is corrupted enough for them to treat other human as less than human.
I'm not just talking about some particular religious groups that initiate war everywhere
Or those who do child-trafficking and run houses of prostitution
Or the regular customers of brothels
And the corrupters who take advantage of our taxes

I'm talking about us, with all of our everyday behaviour that disrespects others. by any means.
be it sexually, emotionally, physically, or mentally.

may we all see human as human, as fellow image-bearer, no matter who they are, today.

--credits to Rob Bell whose writing struck me with this thought this morning

they said such event would never take place here


after spending years trying to get rid of 'the city of religious war' image, my beloved city of Ambon has finally got something to be proud of : an international jazz eventin spite of the very bad coordination of the committee members, the event was still something to be happy about, especially because there, the Moslems and Christians united as one to celebrate our musical roots together on October 9-11, 2009.when it comes to music, Ambonese worship the african american. we dig from hip-hop, r&b, soul, blues, to jazz. It's only in Ambon where you can find public kiosk (warung) playing Akon's hits, public buses playing Saykoji's chart-toppers, and old folks playing jazzy trombone tunes on funerals.and don't even get me started on the way they dance. they know how to work it on the floor, no matter what age, gender, or social class they're of.I hope the artists who were affected by the committee's unprofessionalities would still want to come to Ambon next the mean time, here are some of the pics!mc-ing with Eqy - one of the local radio dj'sone of my favourite performances : Sould ID - they started with Will Smith's "Party Starter", wicked!jay-dee seriously danced in a leopard print halter-neck dress and boots during her 7-month pregnancy! titi sjuman & aksan sjuman's band. I am officially a fan!Can she get any cooler? gosh. a female drummer, a film scorer, an actress, a mother.yes, she acted on Mereka Bilang Saya Monyet the movie. check out her songs, 'When You smile' and 'Kerongcong sampai Mati'you've probably read it in my tweets, I really like Ignatius 'Igor Saykoji' Penyami as an artist.he's one of the very few I-don't-even-feel-like-I'm-famous Indonesian celebrities. unlike Pasto *blah!and of course, the beautiful beach yea [...]

i watch too much discovery travel & living lately


cocoa powder, sugar, all purpose flour, baking powder, vanilla esence, salt, peanut butter.
don't forget the eggs.
this smells heavenly.
my peanut butter & chocolate cupcakes with buttery vanilla icing.


the most common case ever.


i've been getting late night calls, sms, emails, direct messages, etc from people who are going through hard times in their love life. and some of them have the most extreme cases ever! 

that's what we all do right? break up, swear we'd never love again. endless nights of chocolates, ice creams, girl talks, getting wasted. then a zillion month later, find someone new, try not to get in too deep, but then, we're trapped, we let our guards down, then it won't be long till we fall straight back to hell again. 

but that's just how it goes

the minute you let your guards down and give your all to a person
you are giving them power to break your heart, yet trusting them not to

very risky, very dangerous, and that's why we're all drawn to it. 
we like the thrill of risking everything we have for something we're not sure of. 
we like to take chances,right? 
of course, we're young.

but some people, like me 2 years ago, choose to numb their hearts
they'd go on dates, do what lovers do and and all that,
without actually being in love
when they laugh at your jokes, or say 'i had a great time with you today'
they never really mean it
they'll keep you guessing, keep you hanging.

it's fun. it's much safer. 
but somewhere in their hearts, they know they're missing something, still. 

the point is, just embrace everything that's been happening in your love life, peeps.

it's all natural. the good and the bad. 

don't give up, unless you're planning on being gay.

wait, even gay couples have problems. they cheat and all that too :P
oh well. 

ps: group hug to my friends in Boston and Singapore. you guys can make it. cheer up :) don't get too mellow

shocking soda


if someone who has been perceived by the world as a better person than you, finally getting caught doing something really bad.

would you:
a. tell the world "see??!! I told you! i'm not the bad one, this person is!"
b. be there for the person, because the person is scared and lonely right now
c. do nothing?

feel free to comment

elevator buttons


people who are close to us are like elevator buttons

some can only bring us down, and some can only take us up.

make sure you press the right button today,
and even better, be the right button.


as for me, I don't want to go anywhere but up.

so, shall we?

leibovitz' classic.


i know, you've probably seen this spread. it's quite old, but i just felt like posting it.

the talented Anna Leibovitz did this film noir-like fashion spread for Vanity Fair back in 2007.

can you spot the actors in it? can you tell the plot?


some from spiderman, rocky balboa, fantastic 4, dreamgirls, bandidas, whisper.

amen to this



"People laugh because I am different. I laugh because they all are the same." (Ian Vail)

about the one with dunhill, latte, and brown wool jackets


he was one of those lecturers you would hate for the first time. but remember your whole life.
he would likely to challenge your thought, criticize it, question it, and push you to defend it.

he wouldn't care about your bad english
he'd know that you just need to be pushed
he wouldn't care about your asian background
he'd know that you have a lot to say, but you're just too scared to stand up for yourself

his rotten body didn't stop him from smoking
and having coffee at bella ciao in every break time.
we all used to think that he was on drugs
because of the peculiar gestures he used to make

i personally thought he looked like 'hunchback from Notre Dame' *no offense, sir*

his class was not the funnest class to be in.
it was Communication Skills.
yes, it forced us to get out of our comfort zone
come up with our own ideas, do research, and argue about it.

I personally think my encounter with him for 4 semesters was life-changing.

i remember coming to him on my final presentation day to tell him how confused I was
with my future, and of whether I should go to Melbourne to RMIT, stay in Sydney and got to UTS, or go back to Jakarta to continue my Bachelor's degree. or should I just work.

he calmly advised, 'as long as you love what you do. pursue it. it doesn't matter what uni you go to. if your parents want you to go back, then go back. communication studies in any uni would be the same. don't worry too much. you'll be alright', with his laidback australian accent.
the last time I saw him.

it was not the first time he told me that. he had always encouraged me to follow whatever works for me, and not to get pressurized by what others do.

you were a true mentor, sir. the one who stretched our way of thinking and our skills. the one who encouraged us to be ourselves.

Rest In Peace, Mike Whittle.

a start.



credits to the author of salvation. the one who believes in me. the one who enables me. my solid rock.

way before deadlines and previews


i was supposed to blog about Roberto Cavalli's A/W 2009 Preview this afternoon at Pacific Place but,a). i didn't take any pics, so all you faithful readers won't have any idea of how it wentb). it was just a preview, so what more can i discuss here? you know Cavalli, each season has mostly been about colors, animal prints, maxi dresses.I was overwhelmed by the whole vibe of the room, though. Photographers, models, fashion editors, and of course the socialites. I seriously didn't know what to do, cause I was invited just to attend it, not to cover the event. So, yeah, it was quite blurry. But I'm so glad that I got the chance to attend such event and be cool for an hour. hahahaha.*i know, call me lame, it's okay* coz more related postings are coming soon. stay with me ;)while resting my tired heels at homeI began to reminisce about how it all used to be, a year back.everlasting tobaccotons of fellow rebels (a.k.a the ganjas)uni stuff on the weekdays, getting wasted on the weekendleather jackets, shorts, ripped tights, and oversized t-shirtsthose days seem to be just so far away.*somehow I seem to be more poised these least until I start talking haha!*and, i just miss them.and everyone say 'aaw..'japanese food was my life. look at those chubby cheeks.central station. my daily route. *yes, leather jacket and jeans were my only outfit. aha*the happy place. *you'll see why*yes. we obeyed mr. marley.unleashing the inner alay-ness.the house of thousand memories.i worked here as a waiter, for 3 days (it's eternity in my book)easter show. yea, the ghost ride.moments before the security came, sex pistols studio mock at MCA.and of course. the last teary karaoke night before going home for good.time flies huh? these pics always got me giggling.everything's different now. and i have to move on to the next phase of life. i'm excited, i'm thrilled, i'm nervous, i'm cluelessbut i'm positive that it's all gonna be great, and i'm gonna be just fine.good night everyone. got some work to do tomorrow :)[...]

the only issue that matters


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Peek into the making of Vogue September 2007 Issue in
The September Issue (premiered on August 28,2009 in theaters across U.S)
Where cameras go around NYC to follow the legendary fashion guru, Anna Wintour.

Cause you know what they say, September is the January in Fashion.

just happened.



My favourite art piece at Bazaar Art Jakarta
Aug 28-30, 2009
Ritz-Carlton Pacific Place

my editor invited me to come. it's open for public btw. got approached by an art exhibition project manager while I was looking at artworks of Totok Buchori. she gave her card and asked me to translate some arts and gallery stuff. think I should email her soon :)
*I know, I should've brought a camera and a business card, damn it*

'Drew' Acoustic Performance, Blowfish.
I only came coz it's free. blowfish was packed with sweaty oriental-looking barbie-wannabe's.
the usual friday nite r&b tunes were played after Drew's performance.
a nice one-hour express niteout on Ramadhan, afterall.

will be posting about a fall preview soon ;)

to the malingsial.


I met this guy last month at my church' gathering. He's really down to earth and very passionate about his music. Igor 'Saykoji' Penyami is really creative. Unfortunately, his works have been stolen by ehm...some artists from the neighbouring country. So this is how he gets back at them. Check this out y'all, and support Indonesia. Go Igor !

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mood swing causes

be careful.

the one thing you're trying to hold, would be the one thing you've got to let go.

this is why you should vote me the woman of the year


MAAF gw harus tulis pake bahasa indonesia!

I just had the most embarrassing moment of the year.

Jadi tadi seharian gw lagii mood swing yg berunjung gw sakit, masuk angin dan badan anget.
Kurang bisa berpikir straight, gw cuma mo tidur. Setelah minum panadol, gw bobo selama 3 jam.

Jam 10 malem gw bangun, karena inget, ada kerjaan yg belom kelar. Gw pun aus, dan berasa badan gw panas banget. *plus uring2an menunggu kabar dia*

Buru2 dong gw keluar kamar nih ya. Nyampe2 luar kamar,mata sembab, ada kaka2nya cowonya sepupu gw, duduk nonton tv.

pakaian gw minim (baca: gak pake bawahan).
Gw yang lagi lemes, dan pusing, ga tau mesti ngapain.
Gw ga siap banget ketemu tamu. Gw pun ga nyangka orang2 rumah masih pada bangun.
Gw suka banget tidur dengan pakaian minim.

Bisa kebayang muka gw kyk apa?
Dengan bodohnya gw bilang, 'eh maaf, ga pake cel...'
dan langsung lari ke kamar, ganti baju.

gw tetep ambil minum, dan bikin susu. malu2 tapi gw tetep aus kan.

sebelom pulang, salah satu dari mereka bilang,
'eh, laen kali kalo gw mo dateng, gw pasti bilang kog.hehe'

gila malu banget gw. pengen loncat keluar jendela sekarang.

kenapa gw tulis disini? karena gw tidak keberatan menertawakan kebodohan gw :)

Between Socrates, Marriage, and Kids


Lunch time, Jl. Sunda, my assistant editor (BS), reporter (WH), editorial secretary (SP), some interns (EL), and me (MZ). One of us (SP) has just gotten married, so the others curiously asked, "How is it? Is marriage life that much different?"And all she said was, "mm, yeah..I now have someone to go home to, you know"Which then started our lunch time girl-talk that went pretty much like this :WH : I don't want to get married. I mean, I want to have kids, but I don't want to have to deal with men in my older years.BS : What do you mean? So, are you just going to adopt a kid and live alone?WH : No, I want to have kids from someone I love, but I don't want to deal with all of the emotional conflicts of marriage, especially the cheating and mid-life crisis.EL : But it's natural for a man to have great sexual desire. And they don't need to be in love to have sex. So he can still love you, though he sleeps with another woman.BS : Yes, which is why I'm telling my boyfriend that if we get married one day, he can sleep with another woman, as long as he's not emotionally attached to her.I frowned, thinking 'what kind of ideology is that? letting your husband sleep with another woman as long as he still 'loves' you? how can he love you if he can't even keep his di*k?'she then continued..BS : i prefer my husband to love me, but sleeping with another woman, than sleeping with me, but in love with another woman, cause it's 'mind-fucking'.(Bradley Cooper looking & Scarlett Johansson's thighs in the movie He's Just Not That Into You)WH : NO WAY, it's still intolerable.MZ : Yeah, I would never tolerate that, ever in my life. Gosh, that'd be painful. Imagine your husband come home to you one day and tell you 'Sorry honey, I slept with another woman'. Would you be just like 'okay, as long as you don't have feelings for her' ?BS : well, when I told my boyfriend, he said 'Nah, I wouldn't do that', cause he appreciates the fact that I allow him to do it.MZ, WH, SP : right....WH : Things can change...MZ : yeah, that's why..*awkward silence. everyone suddenly thought about what they want in life*EL : well, anywayyyyyys...I still want to have kidsALL : yeah me too... *sigh*the chattering continued to the discussions about Kids, Socrates, and different religious beliefs (I know, we sound like some boring media chicks, haha)Again, today, I learned how different people view crucial things in life from totally different angles.What about you? Would you tolerate the classic 'boys will be boys' excuse? Or do you believe in a true love with uncompromising commitment and loyalty? [...]

some in their 20's


sorry for being so unproductive with this blog yet again. I've been really busy juggling my 4 jobs.

yes. 4.

I feel like I'm always working now, not that I hate it. I love working.
And it's totally amazing to just learn how to be emotionally balanced and descrete. yet still maintaining a good relationship with people you treasure, even the ones who did you wrong. *forgiveness 101 right there man*

Anyways, I was very shocked to find out that 2 of my relatives are getting married soon. and they're like 20 & 22 years old. can you believe it?

i just find it hard to digest the fact that someone my age is actually getting married, not because of pregnancy, but "love". gosh. what about your uni, career, and dreams? and they're getting married to guys they've only been dating for like 6 months or so.

it's not because my love life wasn't so smooth okay, haha, i'm not traumatized or bittered. but, this just creeps me out. i mean, you don't know a person just by being with him for 6 months. it's a day-to-day learning process. there's always something new to discover and to consider about in a person. I just don't get how they could jump into the conclusion of 'yes, this is the guy i wanna spend my life with' in such a short time.

But hey, whatever works for everyone right? I wish you girls all the best in life :)

my idea of the ultimate 20's life - yes, it's always media-related :P

On the other side of the world,

I was having coffee with this Spanish girl from Melbourne today. and she was telling me about how she's planning to go to Bolivia, Africa, and just about every corners of the world, to teach english for charity. And I was just so amazed of how this early-20 girl could have such a selfless and adventurous spirit.

Don't you think this is interesting?

Oh, I'm so googling some overseas internships, man. *why am I keep saying 'man' ?*

*but sure I have to remember that I have a 7 year-old to tutor every week, two magazines to edit every month, and a radio to supervise every 2 months. and a whole country to rule. haha. oh well.

some immature crap. *hey i'm human*


a beach party i've been planning to go to since 2 months ago - sudden bad mood, canceled
a getaway daytrip to bandung - i was late, canceled
the last minute hangout i've always had with my peeps - no one was available

so this is how it feels to stay at home on a saturday night.
being not in the mood of socializing
with people you're not really comfortable with.
while people you're comfortable with, are out, somewhere, doing their own things.

a bottle of vodka, some sleeping pills, warm blanket, and probably a hug, please?

no marshanda, i don't wanna end up like you. i'm like, okay.

ex-child star gone wild


poor girl. been an actress since she was like 8. give her a break people. haha

go marshanda. curse them all you like

Avril Lavigne 'Ex-Boyfriend' Cover - dedicated to her ex, Ben
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Spice Girl 'Who Do You Think You Are' - dedicated to her SD friends
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in need of earplugs.


'you're an Australian graduate! you should be making more money than this!'
'you're a beginner. you shouldn't be so demanding'

'why bother editing their writings to make them look good if they don't pay you on time?'
'work and survive here a year, you could work at any magazine you like'
'you should do what you love'

there are so many voices around us.
the inevitable noises that would
confuse and trick us
telling us to fight
telling us to quit
telling us to change direction
telling us we're right
telling us we're wrong

the only thing left to do now is to stand on your ground
and keep doing what makes you feel alive.

"I'm 32, Mr. Dunn, if I was thinking straight, I'd go back home, find a used trailer, buy a deep fryer and some oreos. The problem is,
boxing is the only thing I ever felt good doing. That enough truth to suit you?"

(From the movie 'Million Dollar Baby', when Maggie Fitzgerald the woman boxer was asked, are u out of your mind?)