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Copyright: Copyright 2012, Situation Publishing
 



Ancient cave girl genome could crack Man's genetic puzzle

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:09:39 GMT

Boffins pore over 500GB of data plastered online

Nearly 500GB of data from the DNA of an ancient girl has been published for the first time. The genetic information - made available for wider analysis by intrigued boffins - was extracted from her finger bone and tooth, which were unearthed in the Denisova Cave in Siberia in 2008.…




Greenpeace releases meaningless 'Cool IT' rankings

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:25:05 GMT

Hippies' 'leaderboard' apparently made using dartboard

Analysis International hippie* collective Greenpeace has issued a "Cool IT leaderboard" of apparently randomly selected major firms which it has assigned meaningless self-generated scores intended to indicate how eco-friendly the companies are.…

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Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:33:32 GMT

Will boffins find prehistoric life - or secret Nazi files?

Russian scientists have drilled through to a 20-million-year-old lake under Antarctica, which, depending on who you listen to, could harbour alien life forms, prehistoric microbes or Hitler's secret hideout.…




Chilli crab scoffing boffins build anti-cancer claw robot

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:22:12 GMT

New stomach tumour busting gadget inspired by top Asian nosh

The fight against cancer reached a weird new level after Singapore’s centuries-old chilli crab dish inspired boffins to build a tumour-removing robot.…




Prehistoric cricket love songs recreated for your listening pleasure

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:54:14 GMT

Throbbing Jurassic passion returns in boffin-mungous feat

An international team of top boffins has quite literally left no stone unturned in its efforts to answer a highly unusual question: Just what did the love songs of the Jurassic era really sound like?…




Boffins find prehistoric croc species with 'mate-attracting' skin helmet

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:17:03 GMT

'Shieldcrocs' mingled with dinosaurs

Bone-bothering US boffins have identified a new species of prehistoric crocodile, nicknamed "Shieldcroc" because of a flat ornamental skin shield on its ginormous head.…




JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:13:26 GMT

Blancmange invader threat turns out to be, erm, trifling

The worldwide jellyfish-threat trouser state was officially downgraded from "damp" to "wear again if necessary" yesterday as top international boffins - operating under the title "JEDI" - announced that in fact there is little evidence to suggest that planet Earth will soon be ruled by wobbling gelatinous blobominations.…

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Japan takes second shot at extraterrestrial sampling with Hayabusa 2

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:00:58 GMT

Damp asteroid 1999 JU3 may hold clues to Earth’s life

The Japanese space agency (JAXA) has confirmed a new mission to collect samples from an asteroid and return them safely to earth, and has set the target as 1999 JU3 - one of the damper asteroids in range.…




Drink diet pop all the time? Look forward to VASCULAR DEATH

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:31:03 GMT

New study reveals fatal consequences of mock-swill habit

News today calculated to disgruntle many a Reg reader – and some Reg hacks – as it has been revealed by boffinry that the daily glugging down of "diet" soft drinks increases the risk of "vascular events such as stroke, heart attack, and vascular death".…




Berkeley boffins crack brain wave code

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:21:08 GMT

Electrical signals used to recreate sound heard by test subjects

Scientists have reconstructed the words people hear by using a computer algorithm to decode electrical signals in the brain.…




Serial killer PYTHONS stalk Florida's Everglades

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:33:08 GMT

Rapacious reptiles scoff mammal population

Pesky pythons are wiping out mammals and birds – some of which are protected species – in Florida's Everglades National Park, according to a new study.…




iPhone doc will detect cancer, diabetes - boffins

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:22:10 GMT

Touch screen literally meets bleeding-edge science

A drop of blood or saliva can be analysed using an ordinary touch screen - and once boffins perfect the identification of biological molecules, then diagnosis by iPhone – or indeed any smartphone – isn't far off.…

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NHS unfurls condom app – for iPhone-toting teens

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:39:11 GMT

Droid lovers will have to source their own love gloves

Kent's NHS Trust is hoping that youngsters' love of iPhones, coupled with a new app, will lead to a fall in teen pregnancies in the county.…




Try a 'shroom before ruling on chill pills, boffin tells gov

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:27:04 GMT

Ministers 'irrational' on depression-busting hallucinogen

The government may never be able to “think rationally” about the therapeutic properties of hallucinogenic drugs, says Professor David Nutt. The top boffin was speaking on the publication of two new studies that show the anti-depressant qualities of magic mushrooms.…




iPad users 'risk shoulder pain', say US gov, Microsoft boffins

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:47:07 GMT

Too much time fondling your slab will leave you stiff

Boffins employed by the US Department of Environmental Health and Microsoft (among others) say that users of tablet computing devices – an area almost completely dominated at the moment by Apple's iPad, selling in unbelievable numbers – run a more serious risk of "neck and shoulder discomfort" compared to people using normal desktop kit.…




Dinosaurs were super mums, nest find proves

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:09:12 GMT

Cold-blooded reptiles showed caring side - bone boffins

They may have been cold-blooded, but it turns out dinosaurs were caring parents – arranging their eggs neatly and letting their scaly offspring stay in the nest until they had at least doubled in size.…




Alcohol DOUBLES LIFESPAN, helps resist stress

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:53:09 GMT

We're filing this from the pub, naturally

Pour yourself another one, quickly, as scientists have proven that alcohol can double life-span.…

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Ancient tulip-like stomach-onna-stick creatures found in Rockies

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:07:29 GMT

Waving anus-tipped filter flowers covered Cambrian sea bottom

Fossil-boffins probing into the remains of a soft-bodied tulip animal that lived in the Rockies 500 million years ago have just published a paper revealing the secrets of the weird creature.…




American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:22:04 GMT

Dig finds no evidence for earth-moving equipment

US researchers have concluded that there's little evidence to support the existence of the legendary Gräfenberg Spot - a bundle of nerves located in the front wall of the vagina which can supposedly cause the earth to move.…




Boffins dig up prehistoric popcorn in Peru

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 09:42:45 GMT

Bit soggy now: Man wolfed down treat 6,700 years ago

Mankind was scoffing prehistoric popcorn 1,000 years earlier than previously thought, reckons a top archaeologist.…




Phages: The powerful new bio-ammo in superbug war

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:32:11 GMT

Keep calm and carry on research

They're the most abundant form of life on Earth – they have astonishing properties – and we know bugger-all about them.…




Pollution-gobbling molecules in global warming SMACKDOWN

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:17:58 GMT

Boffins: Newly observed particles scrub our filthy air

Elusive pollution-busting molecules are scrubbing our planet's atmosphere at a much faster rate than first imagined, according to gas-bothering boffins.…

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Golden booty-shakin' bug named after pop diva Beyoncé

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:32:10 GMT

That ass is fly

Hot pic American popular music luminary Beyoncé has had a species of horse fly named after her in honour of the one-time Destiny Child singer's celebrated bottom.…




X Prize: Build a Star Trek 'tricorder' and win $10m

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:02:08 GMT

CATCH: It has to work...

CES 2012 Make a portable body scanner that can detect 15 diseases and capture key health metrics and you could win 10 million dollars (£.6.5m).…




Tiny frog claimed as smallest vertebrate ever

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:50:02 GMT

Mine's smaller, yells irate ichthyologist*

Boffins have found what they believe to be the world's smallest vertebrate. The tiny amphibian was discovered when scientists grabbed some leaves from the forest floor in Papua New Guinea and shoved them in a plastic bag.…




Boffins hack evolution, create SUPERSOLDIER ANTS

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:30:28 GMT

Genetic prestidigitation could engineer new species

Researchers in Canada have created a new type of supersoldier ant by activating genetic material from long-dead forms of life.…




World's first mixed-embryo rhesus monkeys born in US

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 12:42:53 GMT

Normal, healthy chimeric primates created during stem cell research

Genetic researchers have created the world's first chimeric monkeys, primates who were created from a combination of cells from separate rhesus monkey embryos.…

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Parasites spark swarm of ZOMBIE BEES

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 23:59:30 GMT

California infestation grave, declare buzz boffins

Researchers have found a type of parasite that turns bees into zombies, causing them to exhibit strange behavior before dying.…




Boffins glue self-righting ROBO-VELOCIRAPTOR tail to car

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:05:09 GMT

Leaping lizards inspire super stable search bots

Biologists at the University of California in Berkeley have stuck an intelligent robotic tail on a toy car in an attempt to make clumsy droids of the future more stable.…




Vomit virus drives punters to NHS Choices over Christmas

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:03:10 GMT

NHS Choices attracted 56% more users, many on their mobes

The Department of Health (DoH) has reported a 56 per cent increase in the number of people using NHS Choices in October to December 2011 compared to the same period last year.…




Boffins drill into human language by terrifying chimps with vipers

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 12:29:12 GMT

Primates holler only if friends are unaware of snakes

Chimps don't just blurt out whatever is on their mind - they consider who's listening, says an article published in Current Biology that could reveal an important stage in the development of language.…




Three more 'nauts prepare for space station housewarming

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:42:11 GMT

Crew blasts off tomorrow in time for weightless Xmas

The second half of the International Space Station's Expedition 30 crew is getting ready to blast off tomorrow to dock with the station in time for Christmas.…

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North America makes entry into dino fatty league

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 17:19:19 GMT

73-tonne dino is US's biggest yet

Seems like Americans have been fatties for longer than we thought. The heaviest creature to have walked on land lived in New Mexico circa the Late Cretaceous period, according to an article by Montana State Uni researchers.…




Eyes on stalks: ancient predator a real monster

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 23:00:06 GMT

Throw this shrimp on the barbie

A group of scientists working on fossils from Kangaroo Island in South Australia has turned up a Cambrian predator with horror-movie specs: razor serrations in a circular mouth, claws at the front of its head, and compound eyes on stalks.…




New species of dinosaur discovered... in museum

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:27:21 GMT

Dusty fossil of horny Canadian beast

Bone-bothering boffins have discovered an entirely new species of horned dinosaur, despite having parts of its skull for the last hundred years.…




Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 20:34:20 GMT

Women are complicated. Who knew?

A team at Rutgers University claims that women use up to 80 different points in their brain when orgasming, a discovery achieved by mapping the moment in 3D using a MRI scanner.…




Bumblebee boffins rediscover long-vanished species

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:39:25 GMT

Rare US insect had not been seen since 1956

Scientists have rediscovered an extremely rare species of bumblebee in the US, which hasn't been seen since 1956.…




Microsoft researchers build spam filter for HIV

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 11:14:24 GMT

Turns out spammers behave a lot like deadly virus...

Researchers at Microsoft have discovered that tools first developed to fight email spam can be applied in helping to understand how the process by which HIV mutates to avoid attack by the immune system.…




UK.gov to require YOU to opt out of data-sharing plan with drug firms

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 10:44:06 GMT

Confidential NHS records to be 'opened up'

Plans to share confidential NHS records with private medical researchers have been revealed by Prime Minister David Cameron.…




NASA confirms first Earth candidate in habitable zone

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:22:38 GMT

Kepler finds Earth 2.0 just 600 light years away

NASA’s Kepler mission has spotted the first possibility for a planet to escape to if it turns out the Mayans were right about 2012.…




Japan, Russia in plan for elephant to birth CLONE MAMMOTH

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:46:08 GMT

Dumbo surrogate crucial to Pleistocene Park scheme

Japanese and Russian boffins are planning to impregnate an elephant with a mammoth embryo cloned from viable fossil DNA discovered frozen beneath the icy Siberian tundra, according to reports.…




UK cops seek boffins to build handheld DNA sniffer kit

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:22:02 GMT

Just zoom and enhance - like CSI on the telly

The National Policing Improvement Agency wants to hear from companies that can supply Blighty's cops with mobile tech that spots DNA.…




'I'm the first to admit that we've made a bunch of mistakes'

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:03:10 GMT

Plus 'The last Kardashian clan I heard of were on Star Trek'

Quotw This was the week when an Android app developer claimed he had conclusive proof that millions of smartphones are secretly logging key presses, locations and even messages.…




Toads predict earthquakes: Official

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:18:11 GMT

React to positive airborne ions, boffins explain

Scientists believe they have a plausible explanation for Italian toads' apparent ability to sense the imminent earthquake that struck the city of L'Aquila on 6 April 2009.…




Printed-out dissolving bones, teeth work well in rats

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 09:37:05 GMT

Ready for slotting into people in a decade, seemingly

Scientists have developed a way to make bones and teeth using an inkjet printer. The printed bones are doing well in rats and rabbits and the engineering team at the Washington State University predict that their bony print-outs could be in mainstream use in human medicine in as little as 10 years.…




Ravens' secret sign code probed

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:56:05 GMT

Saying 'nevermore' etc with beak gesture, seemingly

A conspiracy of ravens may be conspiring more than we ever thought, as researchers have discovered that the carrion-scoffing birds use their beaks to gesture and communicate.…




British garbage worms survive in space without human help

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 11:11:10 GMT

Extraterrestrial nematode freed from mankind's dominance

A worm family that originated in a rubbish dump in Bristol has successfully returned from a space mission, proving for the first time that worms can survive untended in space.…




US boffins unleash piezoelectric insect cyborg

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:34:05 GMT

'Leccy-generating beetle for hazardous missions

Scientists from the University of Michigan's College of Engineering have developed a prototype insect cyborg with an eye to one day using electricity-generating six-legged critters to venture forth into potentially hazardous environments.…




Jarmageddon: Marmite spill sparks biohazard threat

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 11:12:10 GMT

Lorry crash jams M1, leaves cops in the brown stuff

A flood of yeast extract has blocked the M1 motorway in South Yorkshire after a truck containing the Marmite ingredient crashed and spilled its load.…




Biology miss punts homemade smut to pupils

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:51:06 GMT

USB stick blunder unleashes X-rated personal vids

A group of Argentinian schoolkids copped a righteous eyeful of smut last week when their female biology* teacher handed them a USB memory stick containing a couple of vids of her going hammer and tongs with her boyfriend.…