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MY LIFE *** MY WAY





Updated: 2018-03-05T08:42:22.349-08:00

 



LOVE

2011-08-19T11:54:02.576-07:00

Just watched the movie just now, called Valentine's Day. Well..that is a good movie! =) Realized that LOVE is not just like or amaze; it's something that you really can't express through only words. There are millions of words to describe it, but none of that can express the real feelings in your heart. One thing I really learnt from this movie is, LOVE is not just about what you like; it's about how important is this person to you till you never wanna live without him/her. LOVE is about accept, accept for not only the good thing, but also the bad thing. Accept whatever it is, the way you are.

I LOVE U.

<3



我爱您!

2011-01-24T06:03:49.439-08:00

我,真的没想过过再次跟您谈话,我亲爱的人。

不是因为我已经把你在我心里面擦掉,而是我以为您再也不会出现,与我谈话了。我真的很谢谢您,因为您让我知道,其实您一直都在我身边,一直都在守护着我。也让我知道,其实,我从来都没有失去过您。而您给我的这份爱,是一直都存在,从未熄灭过的。我爱您!

我想,您等了与我对话的机会,也跟我一样,等了很久,对吗?谢谢您,等了那么多年,您都没有放弃过。突然间,好像领悟了一些东西,可使同一时间,又好像有点blurr。我知道,您现在肯定是在一旁看着我,或是读着我写的东西的。我也知道,我们是心连心的,您也肯定知道我在想什么的。

我知道,这对您来说是不公平,走的时候也没机会说清楚。可是,我是明白您的苦楚的。我知道,您是我最值得尊敬的人,而我们,也是您最最最疼爱的人。我想和您说,您的辛苦是没有白费的。虽然我们不能像普通人一样,可是,那份埋藏在心里的爱,我们比谁都大,尤其是您给的那份爱,更是伟大!虽然您叫我别伤心了,要好好照顾自己,可是,对不起啦,我还是很想哭叻!因为我不是说很坚强嘛!又眼浅。可是您不用担心。那些只不过是发泄情绪而以,千万不用管我的,知道吗?=)

其实,我更应该叫您好好地过才对!不需要担心我们了,因为,我很清楚地明白到,我到来这个世界的责任,也算是我的使命吧。我知道,我的责任是要担起您以前为我们遮风挡雨的责任。

今天,听到有关分开了的两父女,父母离婚了,女儿跟妈妈,可是父亲对她好,她却。。。有时候我在想,不管发生什么事都好,需要这样吗?虽然我不知道发生什么事,可是,为什么明明是有父亲又搞得好像没有这样呢?所以,突然领悟到了,命运就是这样。明明有父亲的,又都捞乱骨头似的。而偏偏父慈子孝的,又没得相处。有时候,人总应该看一看自己拥有的人与事物,去珍惜珍惜。不然,错过了,就后悔莫及!很多时候,人类偏偏以为自己看透了,很行了,可是却偏偏被自己的欲望蒙住了眼睛。我不求多,但愿给我快乐和健康的家庭和生活,就够了。人不能那么贪心的。

我相信,我总有一天,能够再遇到您。=)我永远都不会忘记,您是我那么亲的亲人!我也不会忘记,您是那么的疼爱我们,就算到了现在,也是一样!我真的希望,以后我的另一半,可以向您那么的好,那么的慈蔼,那么的疼爱我和家人!=)

我爱您!您是我最尊敬的人了!<3



“心”年?

2011-01-02T10:20:32.116-08:00

今天,是我2011年,第一次写的post。可是,不想发生的事,都在今天发生了。很不想再听到任何杂音!世界总是那么吵,几时才可以平息呢。可是想想,到底是世界吵,还是我自己或内心在吵呢?很无语。

今年,将是我踏入社会的一年,我会好好的学习。希望我能找到更好的方向,更好的方法去和“你”相处。

宝贝,我爱你。希望这一年,能过顺利地和你挨过。我没有什么能够回报你对我的爱,毕竟我知道你为我做的事情,包容,都是遥不可及的。唯一能够做的,就是更加爱你,呵护你,去报答你对我的疼惜,爱惜,和珍惜。你所忍受的,你所为我做的,我都会在今天起,把它埋在我的心里,让我永远记得这一切。虽然不知道我们可以挨到几时。可是,我想我不应该放弃,因为对你一直所做的,所努力为我的,都会白费,也会很不公平。幸好,今天我亲爱的人提醒了我,不然,我真的会一直挣扎到很久。我决定了,不管结果怎样,总要先给我回报您,让您成为最幸福的人,给您开心,才是您最想要的。所以,以后您想怎样就怎样吧。我爱你,宝贝。您一定要开心幸福哦~ 我会守护你的。

现在才开头而已,已经有这么多的东西发生,我看,这才是 Appetizer 而已呢~ 好吧!下一个要迎接的就是你了,Main Course,来吧!

希望一切都能顺利渡过!平安,健康,开心,快乐!愿天下所有人都能得到最幸福的快乐!=)



不再自由了

2010-12-05T09:58:28.216-08:00

以前,总是疯疯癫癫的我,终于,来到了这种挣扎到不行的地步。

最近很多人问我,“你到底怎么了?”,或是亲人疼惜地骂我,“你到了这个时候,为什么还不振作起来!你已经够成熟了!你知道你的生活很颠倒吗?想要自由也不是让自己这样的!”

其实,很感谢她的督促,很感谢她骂着来关怀。可是,在我心里面所面对的,所受到的,就是无法去发泄!每当想起我总是一个人时,我就会很无奈,很伤心。感觉上很多我的亲友们都不在我身边,不然,就是在我身边,是心却不了解我。

最近所承受的压力,可说是到了顶点! 开始很多时候,都会想念爸爸~ 想念以前时常等爸爸放工,帮他扛东西。就算个子很小,也会 kepoh 的去帮忙爸爸。可是,现在的我,感觉很想很孤单。没有一个可以令我很轻松的说完我心里感受的亲人。就算是心爱的人,也无法完全的诉说。心想大家会怎样看你啊~

对!我就是那么脆弱!

我的心灵建设,从以前就很强!不知道了何时,被某人某事打破了!从那开始,我的灵魂就像少了宝贵的心灵鼓励。

最近很多时候,都想歪了,心想不如就自我了断吧~ 可是,我就是不行,我知道前方等着我去迎接,有人等着我的帮忙与照顾!所以,就算肉体没事,现在也只是剩下个外壳,没有心灵的存在。

这是忧郁症吗?

感觉对不起很多人似的。尤其是担心我的人,他们看到我,又不知道发生了什么事,知道的,又不知道要怎样帮我,帮我的,又辛苦!感觉我还未醒来!

真的对不起,尤其是那些老师,还有和我同组的。真的很惭愧!

每天,没事做时,就想哭。哭的时候,又感觉孤单。似乎每一天,我就是这样无奈,秃废!

最想念的那个人,一个又肯定见不到。另外一个,想见又见不到!每天都只能活在没有灵魂的躯体之下,真的很痛苦。

其实,我最想就是做个平平凡凡的女孩子,拥有一个健康快乐的小康之家,和疼爱我的家人朋友们还有我最心爱的人在一起,就够了。难道,天从人愿,就那么难吗?

简单,就是我想要的生活。

最近,看了一套日本戏,叫 HACHIKO , 真的很感动,也很好看! 突然,有点同病相怜的感觉。看不开,就是看不开;执着,就是执着。



1 Comments

2010-05-05T10:46:16.646-07:00

I..really don't know what to put for my title, but one thing I know now, is...I can't cover any of the sadness in my heart.

My family...they should know..I;m feeling extreme sad now. Even you wana ground me, I'll just accept whatever it comes. But...NOT NOW!

I just want a happy ending with him before he leaves. Why am I not able to do that? I'm going to 21!!! That seems like meaningless to me. I'm feeling useless, helpless and speechless.

I just wana do something that I like. I can even just skip my 21st Birthday celebration. But plz...don't make me feel this way..it's so meaningless to me!

Sometimes, I wish I could fly...fly away to a place where I can find my happiness..escape from this situation which has tighten me for years...! I'm fear, lack of courage. But, this time, I WON'T GIVE IN!!!

Today..I just can't stop my tears from droping down. I just can't keep the sadness from affecting my mind. Thinking of what my family has told, that makes me not willing to let him go away from me today. I'm happy for his achievement, but I know, after he came back, we'll hardly meet each other then. I'm just feeling sad once I think abt this and I just wana cry.....cry so badly...........



Hard Rock

2010-03-18T08:07:28.549-07:00

Well~ hard rock hotel is a good place for training though. I really like it and I felt good when the 1st day I join HRH.

Hmm..Already stay in Penang for about one and a half months. Everything from smooth going to upside-down and from there going smooth again. As for me, I'm learning to be independent and trying to solve it all. Although things will not go according to what my heart's thinking, but still, I believe what my fren told me. As Buddha said, "the more problems we met in life, solve it with our courages and wisdoms, the better we are; the higher we can achieve."

Well~ I'm learning about it now. Not that I dunno, but sometimes it's hard to take action or to do the right things or make decision in our lives.

I'm not that happy now, but...I dun feel sad either. However, one thing I really gotta change is my EQ! Damn low! haha! XP

But anyway, at least I realize it and trying my best to change now. Hmm..I really miss my frens from H10, my Maluri frens also. Especially those who're always by my side and encourage me one. Like, LiChing, YeeWon, PuiSan, Jeccy and MengYoei.

Well...the most important one is still my family. My mommy and sister, Kar Kar. Really LOVE THEM so much! Coz' no matter how, when, what, when the moment i'm with you, I feel good and comfortable. Both of u are my source of strength and energy to fight for the future.

Lastly, my cousin, Erica and Uncle Ken, I really wanna say million thanks to both of u, otherwise I wouldn't know or couldn't even predict how my life would be now. I'm here praying for both of u. I LOVE U. Minli and MinSan also, my good-listener and always accompany me whenever I have problems. Brian, the one who always fight with me or kacau me one, but always help each other whenever we've problems. :)

Dunno y le..suddenly feel so alone after I came to Penang. Feel like am All Alone! Hoping that they would call and ask abt me. But.....I think am the one who always make calls one. >.< Nvm...it's time to learn independent! :)



Intern in Penang

2010-02-01T06:37:54.068-08:00

Haha. Feel so happy that I got to go for my industrial training with friends. It's really fun. That's way better than the first training during my diploma. :)Anyway, I MISS U, MY PIGGY PRINCE. I HOPE U'RE HERE WITH ME NOW. But anyway, that's ok. :) it's time to be independent. I'll listen to u and be happy. I'll come back with pride. *.*Hehe...Well, I reached Penang on Saturday together with Chee Kong (the hard-working driver..Xin Ku Ni le...), and Yeet Mei, my current roommate (the sha da jie~).After that, we met up with yew leong and his fren, wei wei. haha. then, we straight went to the condo to meet the agent. Well, we was late for an hour due to the thaipussam plus, we went to tesco and that caused us late. XP haha.Hmm..I was pretty happy that they like the place so much as that proved that my effort is not a waste. :) Hehe.Raymond and Fann arrived on Sunday and then we went to the beach and have fun! haha. Well..it's really really fun!! :) Took some pictures while playing on the beach also. Very enjoy and fun. :D Gonna post it here.However, when the moment we walked in the beach at Golden Sand Hotel, so many ppl came towards us and sell their "product"(the sea games). Haha. They providing horse-riding too. LOVE IT! :D hehe. Gonna try it out. But..I need to wait for someone important to come 1st. ;)Anyway, I wish you\re here reading my blog, my honey darling. Gonna post a picture here and hope you can feel my love towards u. Coz I really miss u oo... ;DHmm..I hope my frens are reading this also and check out how fine I am now and I really appreciate the frens whom staying together now. ^^At the Beach~ Nice Shoot by Yeet Mei. :)David, Ashton, Yeet Mei and I.*Peace*On the way to breakfast and the food is really nice and cheap here le. Thanks to Wei Ge Ge. ;)Haha..Our messy Room. XP*Dedicated to my Piggy Prince* :)Guess what am i doing. :D*DENG DENG DENG DENG!!!**I LOVE U, WEN HAO* :) Muarks!The Beach Boy fm India. ;)(Kept promoting package to us le~~ haha)(Enjoy life at Penang Home)*The End*[...]



MY LIFE * MY WAY???

2010-01-19T06:04:26.285-08:00

Hmm...nope! it's not gonna be that way. I mean..my life....

I am looking down at myself now. I really dunno what happened. Maybe, I know..but...duno how to get back the lost me.

Anyway, today was an awful day to me. I know that am gonna fail that subject as I have insufficient time to complete the whole paper, plus, I only did half of the marks. If I passed, I'm gonna be superb as it means that all the answers are correct. I think I'm gonna be so lucky though.

One thing, if I failed, nvm. At least I've prepared for it since after the exam. I know how bad I did. But, the big deal was....I couldn't wake up in the morning and my bf has been calling me the whole one and a half hour just to wake me up because, imagine how awful when my phone was shutted down and that, my alarms were not ring yet I couldn't received his calls within that period!!! SHIT!!! Fortunately, he was smart that he called my cousin and asked her to wake me up. I must really really thank my lovely one, the "angel"; luckily he called, really! Otherwise, am gonna skipped the exam and repeat the subject again.

However, although I feel thankful to him, but...I am really really guilty that he couldn't be well-focused on his revision. Haihz.....I am really really SORRY!!! He told me that he did it badly then. Haihz........So sad that this kind of things happened on the day of my examination. How awful and stupid I AM!!! Haihz.....

After further advance diploma...my heart never feel better because it really gets me down. I am lost and sad because of the negative forces and environment. I really miss u guys, ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS....my H10...and all my best friends whom I know since my diploma.

Well...although this is a really awful day to me but at least, my sister adds a little sweets within my sad day. She encourages me alot alot and alot! Last time, I used to think that I shouldn't have tell my hardship to my sis as this is my own matter, but..although I seldom talk abt myself, but she can understand me. Yeah! I am stupid! But, at least, I'm the best in her heart. I was teary though. At least, she can see myself in the darkness. At least, I feel better and comfort when she encourages me. Just....maybe I am too depress now...

I do think about giving up...As...It's too hard for me, I think...I know I can do it, but...the supports and courages are now getting lost...where are all my friends....family......and the energetic soul of mine...............? How can I get it back all? Can I?

I just miss.....my own home. The very beginning of my life.....although a little bitter but it's sweet.

Papa.......Mama......Kaka......Me......................................



Miserable.........

2010-01-11T01:26:51.548-08:00

Is it what I see is diff from others?

Is it what I think is diff form others?

Is it what I do is diff from others as well?

I'm so miserable, confused and starting to feel like....it's such an ironical for me....

what I have now, felt like it's not belong to me.

What I'm seeing now, is not what I need...

What's within my ability now, I do not knowledge about it..

What I am wishing now, is to unite my mind, soul and react over it. I seems lost. I do not know what's ahead for me. I do not know how to react and make use of all the abilities that I have. Bcoz' I can't even knowledge what my ability is.

谓:色就是空,空就是色 ; 万物皆是空。

Wish that I could stand tough and find back the lost me.



我什么都不懂。。。

2009-09-05T07:43:54.164-07:00

最近真的不懂做什么,重视无精打采,没心读书。。
最重要的是,我的心里很挣扎。。挣扎了很多很多东西。。我真的真的很乱。

我的想法,我的脑子,最近真的很乱,而且还是很混乱的那种。我真的想了很多不该想的东西,行了很多不开心的事情。。

哎。。我就来要崩溃了!最近很有罪恶感。我真的很为难。

不懂啊!气死啦!要死啦!!!>.<



佛法 Buddhist's Knowlege

2009-08-19T02:28:57.349-07:00

Just open a new blog..Please support me..and the most important thing is I hope that all of u will get some knowledge that a Buddhist should have.

For those of my friend who is not a Buddhist, you can at least learn something if u read that blog..more understanding what Buddhism is all about. :)

The link is just under My Blog List or here it is, www.lotusinyourheart.blogspot.com..you can link it if u like it.

Thnx ya~



生日真的很快乐。 :)

2009-07-21T12:52:27.168-07:00

I dunno how to explain..the feelings....is happy!*****************************************************************(17/07/2009 ; Friday)Hmm..remember today, all my coursemates were celebrating Freddrick and My Birthday together..Wao! They kinda surprise me but...I can guess though..haha..coz they were cheating on me..There are 3 things that made me felt more suspicious in them..Haha.Saying dat Ms Vivienne very angry abt me coz i never attend to her class, by Si Bee & Jared. (Actually I got cheated by Ryan..haha..and I was helping him to buy ingredients for his Beach Party together with Sam and Kenneth/Michael, that's y I can't make it to the lecture.)But then, Raymond told me dat Ms Vivienne wanted me to go to the lecture hall quickly coz wanna see me to discuss abt the Psrtnership Theme Party proposal..haha..and he kept asking me where am I? Why I never come for the lecture...? :pThen, after I got cheated and frightened by Lovely Frens, Some one who's very close with Me, suddenly just msg me to tell me Happy Birthday..hehe.Hmm..so funny..hmm..after I got into the lecture hall..the cake was ready and they all sang a birthday song for me, I thought..mana tau, Freddrick's birthday was 2days ealier than mine too..so they celebrate for us together lor..haha. :)But anyway, I am reli happy coz Ryan told me that Si Bee, Raymond and other coursemates actually forward msg to other ppl and asked to celebrate our birthday..haha..I felt soo touched. :)Thnx for all the surpsrises and giving me such a special memory to us. :D~P/s: today is my sis's bday too..wish her all the best and I hope that she can always be happy and cheer up. :) I Love U, My Dear Sis..and Happy Birthday..Sorry dat I can celebrate with U, but I'll make sure that I'll celebrate with U another day ya~.*******************************************************************(20/07/2009 ; Monday)Oooo0oohH..finally, it came to my Birthday! kekeke..Hmm..very happy and feel so excited today because this is gonna be the first Birthday that I celebrate outside without my family members. :pAnyway, hmm..this is a very special Birthday to me. :)Firstly, Wei Keong dated me for lunch..however, end up went to Sg. Wang to look for sth dat I need together with Raymond, coz' he wanna do some survey over there. Then, Pui San came to Sg. Wang purposely just to look for me and she gave me a piece of choco cake and gift. :)Well..too rush for the day and I promised that my Darling that I'll be in his home before certain time..hmm..sorry Wei Keong that i couldn't make it to have lunch with u.. :p Forgive..and I know for sure, U will! Keke..Hmm..but u reli surprise me ya..haha..came out with the present suddenly..hmm..Although I told U that I dun reli like that kind of gift..but dunno why, when I touched it and Look at it, I feel so Warm. :) So, I'll start to Love this kind of gift and will appreciate it. :D coz' U're my Best Friend ma! Haha..but I din expect that U'll get a car to drive me for lunch wor.. :p(I really felt touched of ur present, especially the meaningful card. :) dun worry, We'll be the best fren to each other, even in the future geh. :D )Then, after I reached My Darling's home, hmm..what I can't imagine is...., Ah Heng COOK??? Haha..hmm..never tried before seriously..and I told Ah He gonna cook geh, mana tau just helping u up only? Hmm..but anyway, haha! The dishes came out with a good presentation and it look delicious..haha..hmm..but it's true, I like it, although the prawn's source is a bit spicy, but I reli like it. :)What I like the most is.....My Darling cooked me my favourite soup!! Haha..So Nice! I really like it la..!! Hmm..Thnx for preparing all these for me, My Lovely Darling..and I'm willing to drink your soups for the future though. *,*My Dearest Darling, Thnx for[...]



好朋友。。。

2009-07-01T09:27:51.788-07:00

嗯。。

其实,我一直以来,真得不懂我在你的醒目中占有哪个位置的。

今天,你突然间给我个部落个网站,我。。真的很好奇,也很很想看看你会写些什么。。

最重要的是,你会否把你最近的情况给写下去。。

我,

真的真的。。

非常非常的。。。

很开心!!!

哈哈。。因为,我一直都不去问你可是又很想懂得答案。。

终于。。

在你的部落格哪儿找到了。。

你懂吗。。我很感触。。很感激。。很感慨。。也很感动。。。。

哈哈。。不懂现在该写什么好呢。。 :p

只想,你以后都能好好的照顾自己。。好好休息。。尤其是精神上的休息。。因为,身边会有很多人关心你,即为你心疼。 :)

我很想说,你也是我的好朋友! :)

(其实,我很想懂咯。。什么是粉红知己? 有我的份吗?? 哈哈。。 :p )



Tired....

2009-06-05T07:07:58.815-07:00

Hmm..what a tired day today! :(

Today the lecturer talking so much abt research method and has been sitting in the class for more than 4hours..Owhh~ never been so tired like today.

Anyway, I dun feel only physically tired but also mentally tired..haihz..like what si bee said, "that's reli hard if we dun have enough money...". Hmm..At least I better than him, dun need to struggle for the daily expenses..but my school fee? Haihz..I'm so desperate to get the scholarship now..Hope that I'll be selected by the Foundation Scholarship lohr...

Hmm..Yesterday night, I was so happy that the graduation list has been realesed and I went to check it while my happiee faze.. :D

But....I can't see my best friend's name there..plus, most of my classmates' names are not there though there's only 7 of us fm H10 are graduated..Haihz..I never take the trouble to look for them because I dun wana remind them of the unhappy things, but not that I'm not caring for them.

Well~ since I couldn't find my best friend's name there, then, I called her and asked because I wana confirm abt that and I can't believe it. However, She told me that it's true..Hmm..well..a bit disapponted that 4 of us, the 4 best friends, can't graduate together..Anyway, Nvm.. :)
You must be tough, ok? Concentrate and be the best on your work now and spread ur wings to show your colors.

Other than this, she also told me some bad news abt her..Hmm..well~ I really didn't know what to say..and I juz asked her not to be so sad and down. I really dunno what to do abt her bad news coz' that really freaks me out..Hmm..seeing her like this, make me think alot! I know I can't be so 100% in a relationship, though I believe in Love, and I Believe in Him MORE.

Hmm..Today, keep thinking abt the good friend, thinking of how is she? Everything fine? and many many..coz' I know, she's soft-hearted..she cries easily, she's not that tough..

Anyway, I hope that you're fine now..do better in your work, forget abt the bad things and start a new life! Coz' I'll always support you. :)

Loves.



A Special Day

2009-06-04T07:33:28.596-07:00

On the Tuesday evening, I have had a special dinner together with my cousin's family and my bf too. Haha..that was a great day for me as not only my bf attend to the dinner but also my cousins' couples are there.

Hmm..well..it's like a family dinner and we all had a meeting to each other in a Bali style restaurant called Bora Asmara. Thats a nice place with chill ambiance and that we had a good chatting time there.

Holding his hands, walking to the place..so nice and so calm. I really LOVE the feelings of walking with u and hand in hand. :)

I Love U.

Didn't know why..I have did something that I shouldn't do. :p
Haha..that's why..I appologize here..I'm Sorry, My Honey!!!

I dunno wat to say..but hope that u'll forgive me and I know u will. :D

Anyway, you really really made me happy that day. Because of your appearance on that night, makes me sure that you are the one. That is because, I know that you're busy with your things and you do have alot of works to do. *touched*

I really really Love You.

MuarksSs!

I am really really proud of you. Really PROUD! I can't believe that I can get this kind of good boyfriend.

That's why I am saying...

I AM LUCKY!

Hahahahahhaha....! :D

Don't Berlagak ahr! Haha!

Remember the Place, Remember the People. That's a Precious Memory for me that between You & Me~ <3
(image) (image) (image) (image) * The Live Entertaining Band *



无言....

2009-05-03T21:48:44.622-07:00

有时候,我真得不懂我应该再做些什么了。。

有时候很累。。很像一个人静静地去想。。

我一直以来所做的,所关心的,所体谅的,都有人去在乎吗?是看得见吗?

嗨。。。。。。

还以为当初所计划的,可以开开心心的去实行。。

可是现在呢? 大家都有自己的理由去拒绝,去打破我的计划。。

当初计划的时候,一时引起轰动。。全部热情汹涌地在讨论着。。

现在计划好了,全部都静下来了。。那又怎样?!那时你的问题啊。。。

好了。。

那就随你们吧!!!

本来我有其他plan的,好让每一个人都可以去的地方。。

可是现在想一想。。。会不会太多余了呢?

会有人珍惜的吗?会赏脸的吗?

还是你们随心所欲吧。。。有plan在叫我吧!

因为我已经很累了!

也很 FAD UP 了!!!



Industrial Training..

2009-04-24T08:22:26.181-07:00

Before I go for it, I was so excited over it..

But after that..? Hmm..nah...I hate it 10,0000 times!!

Well..people..wats people? How do people live..?

Is it to cheat, betray, act like innocent, or maybe 2 faces to achieve your goals then only can be saying as human?

Maybe I'm not smart enough or maybe I just dun understand P-E-O-P-L-E and never interested in studying HUMAN.

I'm sad..

I'm disappointed..

I'm mentally tortured..

by the people around me.

I never even thought of they're acting and 2faces.
I never thought of their real faces are terrible like this!!

Hmm..maybe I should be tougher to face this kind of people..otherwise, how m i gonna stand in this line..right?



I LOVE YOU, HELWEN.

2009-04-24T07:15:17.012-07:00

After all the things happened in the past 2months, I realized that the one that I really really love...

is him....

If u ask me how much do I love him, I really dunno how to describe it..

But if u ask me how long would I keep this feelings..
I'll say...as long as I can or I'm still alive..

I can't think of another way to express my feelings other than writing blog now..

Coz' of this far distance,
I learn alot..
Coz' of this far distance,
I can see who's the one who really really love me..
Coz' of this far distance,
I can feel how much he loves me and wanted to protect me..
Coz' of this far distance,
I can deeply feel his heart and soul..
Coz' of this far distance,
I finally understand, the one that I've been looking for is just around me all the time..

I..finally...found YOU..!

It's you! My DARLING...

I really really Love YOU.

I'll appreciate you very very much for the rest of my life.

No Matter What, I'll Keep You With Me As Long As I Can..

I'll Never Give You Up, I'll Never Let You Go Anymore.

(image) I Love You, My Precious Honey.



H 10

2009-02-06T02:21:22.634-08:00

Looking back to the past 2 years..all the memories which happened in the college..suddenly..i feel kinda sad and happy at the same time.Well..I'm really really glad to have them in my life..My jimui and brothers..I'm so grateful that we are in the same class for one and a half year..Looking at the pictures that we took together..Thinking of all the happiness, sadness, angriness, or even disappointment that we have went through..at this moment, I'm smilling with tears in my eyes..There's no way i can describe this...F-R-I-E-N-D-SH10..I'll never forget about H10..I'll never forget what we've went through together, things and problems that we have shared together, helping each other and so many things that I need to say...Hmm..there's something that I need to say to all of u here. :)Pui SanHmm..I remember the first I met u in the class, you were with ur spec and poney tail..haha..hmm..and..look very young but now, u look more mature and a bit stylish..haha..well~ I can see the changes on you and myself too..and you're the first one that I know in H10 le..haha..then mei wen and mei yuan, vriesia and after that is jc if I'm not mistaken..haha..hmm..well..just wana tell you that you must jia you and wish you all the best..haha..especially alwin, he's a good guy..appreciate him k.. :)JeccyYou are always the most optimistic one..no matter what happened on you also won't emo in front of us one..hmm..really "Geng"! Your EQ really damn high..I really wish that I could have high EQ like you.. :) Hmm..another thing, your observation damn geng la..haha..and you know many thing about other people by observing them one..SO "Geng"! Haha..Anyway, I wish you all the best too..If got any "lobang" please contact me ar..haha :p Anyway, come back to KL and gather before you go Sing. ok.. :)VriesiaYou punk! Really punky punky and always in either balck or white and sometimes blue..Actually I quite salute you coz' you really got your own style and thoughts..there's one thing that you must do and must not refuse is Sing K With Us, Buddy! Always ask you to go, sure dun wan one..I dun care ar..nx time must go, k! Hmm..anyway, sometimes see u punky punky and with the sport shoes like that..mana tau the first presentation you wore a very nice high heel shoes! So lady la..I think you should always wear something like that..it makes you look so different, k.. :) anyway, good luck and all the best to you in the training..hmm..well..I'm so jealous that you three can go Club Med together..must be damn fun..haha..must buy souveneir for me ya. :)Mei WenWell~ I feel so wasted that this sem only we are closed to each other..After that day we went shopping together only I know that you are an open-minded girl..haha..coz' you're the most quiet one in the class ma.. :p one thing is, although you're quiet but with a quite good results and you are braver than I thought.. :) Really salute you la..you must come to Sing K with us too, ok? I mean next time, k.. :) Ok la..Wish you all the best..no matter what happened, must protect yourself and don't let other people bully you..another thing is you must be more zhu dong, k.. :)Sze WeeErm..do you know that I always think that you're the most pretty one in H10 when the first time I saw you in the class? Haha..I guess you dunno..haha..Hmm..but a nit cool la..anyway, your skin now getting better..you looked more pretty now.. :) don't berlagak ar..haha..I know u an shuang now..haha..Anyway, keep in touch ok? You can ask me out for Yuen Steamboat next time oso.. :D wish you all the best in training ya..oh yeah..so good that you're in Cameron.[...]



我.....

2008-12-24T01:49:56.467-08:00

我......该怎么说呢...

嗯...

以前,我总是以为朋友嘛..找一个有多困难...有就有,没有就没有...所以,我对待每一个朋友的方式都是一样的。

可是,说是这样说..其实,我还是很在乎的...到那天,我才发现,原来,我是那么的在乎每一个朋友,包括他。

Anyway, 我不懂为什么,就是觉得有一点点的难过,因为他真的没有来找我,就算MSN也没有。当我知道他最近发生了好多事情,大多数的都是好事,我就在想,原来你是‘有喜’了。嗯..或许我是应该替你而感到高兴的,可是,我却有一点伤心。

到了那时,我才知道,原来我是那么的在乎一个以前无所不谈的朋友...以前,总是和对方交换话题,谈心事,说近况,甚至当我不开心时,有个人会借我肩膀,很放松的,没面子的大哭...
可是,现在却.....

或许我不应该酱想,反而应该觉得高兴...

因为,如果他没来找我,就是代表有好事发生;找我的话,就是又不开心的事情发生,所以啊,我应该为他感到开心和轻松才对。

我...

真得有点累了...慢慢地..感到累了.....

到底,我有没有被珍惜?问心,我在你心里真的是你想象中那么重要的一个朋友吗?
哈哈..笨蛋!我..真的搞不懂噎!

我看,我还是别放那么多的心思在人身上。应该从中学习,那么,就不会一直受伤了... :)

嗯..我想对他说,不好意思叻,应为我,而把你给弄得不开心。我不是故意的。可是,你有女朋友了,我当然替你而感到快乐啊.. :)

祝你幸福,快乐! :)



Just..Speechless!

2008-12-18T08:30:54.022-08:00

I just dunno why..feeling so frustrated with things around me especially people!

Hmm..sometimes, I angry or emo it's because I care about those things!
I kept myself in silence doesn't mean that I'm wrong or I dun care things that happened around me! I just dun wanna argue about all that craps!

Yeah..maybe my EQ not really good as all my frens know but u won't know and also can't see when I'm being patient ; act as if I duno anything..

I duno what should I say sometimes..I just want to live in peace and happy with the people around me, but..can u? or can I?

Well~! I got so frustrated to explain, explain AND explain myself again!

Sometimes, I just feel like why'd human behave like this..!
U can analyze the happenings and the people, but doesn't mean that u can take the analysis as the truths..

Don't simply judge a person when u THINK that you're right!
Find out whether that person is right or wrong before u talk about about him/her.

Another thing, I really dunno where I got all my disappointment from....
Is it from the people that I've been having faith on? Or just myself expecting too much?
Sometimes, it's really heartbroken to know someone that u think he/she is not treating u as what u think along the way..

It's really the first time I felt heartbroken..

Haihz..really sei yeh! >.<



心跳 (heartbeat) by LeeHom

2008-12-17T17:02:31.251-08:00

Dunno why..I dun really feel good today since i woke up this morning..

Came so early to college and waiting for the time to pass by in CIT now..so BORING.. :(

But..

Luckily..

Wahaha..I found a new song from Lee Hom in youtube..hmm..Thats awesome, man!
Once i listen to it..I feel so nice and a bit sad..hmm..u noe..?
Of course u dunno.. -.-
haha.. :P

Anyway..Listen to this song, it's DAMN nice!

**心跳 by 王力宏**
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVlFGoCsL80



Minli's Birthday! :D

2008-11-27T07:48:05.885-08:00

Hmm..gotta say "happy birthday to Min Li!!" here although it's already over..haha..Hmm..I'm sorry that it takes me so long to update about this..haha..it's all because of my pen drive! :( got severe virus til now only healed..but well..I've saved the pictures into it so i can upload it now lo..hehe..Sandra, Mandy & IMake a wish, Sister..The Malurians(From left : Sandra. Wei Meng, Minli, Brian, Chun Ho, Me & Hou Ren)Chong Family & I :DThe Malurians( from left : John, Chun Ho, Joycelyn, Mok, Minli, Khai Hong & Hou Ren)Well~Well~Well~Why am I not in this picture since all the pretty girls are here! >.< Haha..(Top: Minli's Mom, Janics & Minli)(Down: Yung Ling, Melissa & Mei Ee)Khai Hong, John & I (the lenglui)*haha..joking, everybody..*Cheez~U drinking?! Well~smile~Well..Minli.you really look gorgeous that day. :)Oh yeah..one of the owners of the restaurant is The One Academy's lecturer and he said Sandra should go for casting coz' she looks special and has good features.. :)Hmm..well..I got praised too.. :DBut they just say that i look like an Eurasian..haha..Am i?Please vote for me whether I look like an eurasian.Yes or No..haha..[...]



The Awakening

2008-11-27T08:19:48.266-08:00

Wao..It's been weeks that I did not update my blog..haha..even jeccy was asking me too..haha..anyway..sweety of course busy one ma.. :p hehe..Hmm..well..I have something to show u guys..it’s really a great performance of"The Awakening" by the china’s disabled people..haha..Maybe u do not know whats that but you'd be appreciate of what you have after reading this... :)9 November 2008, I went to Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre for a show called "The Awakening" and WAO! It was really awesome! I was so impressed with their performance..RM98..really worth! *thumb up*The performances during the show include :The Avalokitesvara Bodhisativa (千手观音)The Soul of the PeacockThe Yellow Earth The Butterfly Lovers (梁山伯与祝英台)Looks great right?! They even performed greatly in the malay culture dance--Flying Kite during their performance..Oh My~~~they're really amazing!! :DActually, the dancers are deaf..just imagine..they're deaf and they can even perform the dances spiritually in their silent world..they did not give up themselves although they can't live like the ordinary people..Well..there's another disabled people, called Yang Hai Tao..he was born blind but however, he's talented in music..he can even sing so well that makes my heart melt..haha..Hmm..but seriously..he's really an extraordinary person that he ever performed in the Beijing Olympics! *Thumbs up*The Singer : Yang Hai TaoThere's another guy who lost his 2 arms when he was young due to the electric shot, but well..still..he can dance very well in The Happy Farmland (he even can move his butt better than me! *thumbs up*)...haha..The Happy FarmlandSo, everyone..It's not an easy thing for them to forget themselves that they can't live like us but however, they never give up their lives..they realized the potentials they have and they perform it..Well..tell you one thing..maybe you did not notice about that..the dancers even performed during the Beijing Olympics..great right?! :)So, friends..if they can, why can't us? Don't give up yourself and you should be impress of what you have..don't always criticize other people around you and the things you have but appreciate it.. :)Realise your fullest potential and do your best to be an extraordinary person! :)Me and Sandra have taken some photos with them too.. :)Min Li, The Dancer of The Soul Of a Peacock (she's gorgeous) & I.The invited Malaysian performers. :)[...]



I Got It!!

2008-11-05T05:44:50.137-08:00

Yay! Finally the results for internship has came out last friday and I got my wish...come true!! Haha! Cool! I was really enjoy the moment when my lecturer called out my name "K-A-H M-U-N"..haha..hmm..and I still didn't know what happened until the class finish, I moved forward to check the name list and writen there, kah mun (H10), Majestic, Malacca...! Haha! I was damn happy and ffelt like flying up to the sky...haha!!

Hmm..I really appreciate the chance that the interviewer gave me coz I really tot that they're not gonna select me since my teacher tol us that they only select 9 out of 30 people..haha..am I just lucky or I got the potential?? haha.. :p
Majestic was a really beautiful 5star hotel and they have spa some more..hmm..So, I must really try my best to work! Haha..My lecturer told me that there'll be alot of Ah Mohh (Orang Putih) visit there, so..hehe..I must ganbateh to improve my english now! :)

Anyway..I juz learnt how to make tarts on the Monday! Haha..there's cheese tart, fruits tart and oso pie! :D hmm..the fruit tart that I made was really nice..really got the standard..keke..I really feel that I have the potential in making pastry items.. :P wahaha..

Hmm..anyway..today..juz met Ms Amanda and she told me that i'm gonna have training in the 4 departments : Front Office, Housekeeping, F&B and Kitchen..hmm..if to choose 3 depts here..i think i will take FO, Hksp and Kitchen..
Haha..anyway, taking kitchen dept is not bcoz of I like to cook..It's bcoz I dun think I'll work in the kitchen next time, so I think I should have a try on this time.. :)

Well~I reli hope that I'll have fun there..haha..Malacca..I'm coming next year luu..haha..