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Preview: Eat, Drink & Be Mary...Douglass!

Eat, Drink & Be Mary...Douglass!



Someone told me I was funny and it only encouraged me more...



Updated: 2016-09-08T00:25:30.853-04:00

 



Up Where We Belong

2012-10-08T21:54:18.721-04:00

My 30th birthday involved a lot of excitement: a trip across the country, lots of wine, amazing meals and lifetime memories. And because The Fourth likes to, as he says, "take things to the next level," he booked us FIRST CLASS plane tickets. Now, maybe you're all swanky and this is nothing special. But I'm used to being smushed next to a random stranger who brought an egg sandwich on the 5:30am flight and I can literally hear my stomach flipping over. But FIRST CLASS is nothing like the dregs of coach. It was glorious walking past all the peons when they called us to board the plane before everyone else. Usually I'm still standing there when they call "Okay, now we'll board Zones 5, 6 and the rest of you who won't have any room for your carry-on bags." The flight attendant even stopped the line of people boarding so she could bring me some coffee. Those poor schmucks in Zone 8.And the room to stretch! I'm not very tall. In fact, I'm not tall at all. But there was an obscene amount of room, especially since we were on the bulkhead. Obviously, I had to take a fuzzy picture with our iPad to prove this point: The Fourth, of course, copied me. His picture is less fuzzy. And do you know how much food you get in FIRST CLASS? I am one part impressed and 1 part embarrassed at how much I had. I was a little hesitant at first, not wanting to impose. But then I realized that you only turn 30 once, so what the heck. I had:4 cups of water {in a real glass, mind you}2 cups of coffee {yep, in a real ceramic mug}2 Bloody Marys {I asked for a mimosa, but they said they had no champagne. Geez, air travel really has declined.)Cinnamon pecan french toast2 links of turkey sausageCooked applesButtermilk biscuit with butter and jamBowl of fresh fruitSnack mix {With Sesame sticks! Much better than pretzels}The Fourth's enormous glass of wine. Cause that's how they do in FIRST CLASS.Unfortunately, our tickets were not FIRST CLASS on the way home. Can I explain my misery? I felt dirty. I felt cramped. I felt very hungry. I asked the flight attendant for the good snack mix with sesame sticks and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. I mumbled some not very nice words, but I realize it was just because I was hungry. Unfortunately, The Fourth has created a monster and I officially declared that I will never {ever} travel coach again. It might be the most dangerous thing to happen to our bank account. Eating and Drinking, Mary Douglass [...]



Cloth Diapering: My Attempt at Being a Hippie

2012-09-07T22:38:50.777-04:00

Mimi in her bikini with a cloth diaper bulging underneath. That suit didn't last the whole summer before she completely outgrew it.I don't recycle. I use an excess amount of paper towels. I leave lights on in the house to make it "bright and cheery." And I've been known to have the AC and gas logs on at the same time {I like a cozy fireplace in the wintertime...even if it's 70 degrees outside!} But for some reason, my inner hippie came out after I had a baby and I started buying organic and using cloth diapers. Not many people in Columbia understand cloth diapers. They usually think I have a cute diaper cover on Mimi and that her bulging diaper must be full of something unsavory. But the diapers we use are just bulky and I made sure to pick up some fun colors and prints for the sweet girl's heiney. People imagine that I'm using white rectangles origami-folded between her legs with a giant diaper pin holding it all together. Not exactly - cloth diapers these days have fancy-schmancy snaps and velcro to hold them together and come in pretty cute patterns and colors. I obviously like to match her diaper to her outfits. So it's understandable why so many people ask me why I chose to use cloth diapers. I just don't have a very good reason... Part of it is because I'm cheap. We started using cloth when Mimi was about 7 weeks old {I was not about to go through 12-14 cloth diapers a day on that little newborn who exploded after every feeding}. And we got several diapers as gifts at baby showers. So all in all, we've spent about $50 on diapers, detergent, washing, etc since she was born. {It should be noted that we have probably spent $200 on wipes because both me and The Fourth use an excess of wipes during each changing. The irony is overwhelming.} Another part of it is because I love hanging the diapers in the sunshine to dry and bleach out and then how she smells so fresh and outside-y. Notice that my reasons don't include saving the environment {although diapers sit in landfills for a really long time, which is pretty creepy} or saving my baby's bottom from the mutant chemicals in disposable diapers. So I'm really lacking that long wavy hair, long wavy skirt, earth-loving mama vibe. Gave up on the bikinis and just stuck with the diaper on the beach.Of course, everyone asks me about the poop. Yes, I wash the poop, but it's really not a big deal {Promise!}. After I had a baby, I discovered that a day didn't go by that I didn't get poop, pee, spit-up, drool and/or snot on me. So for me to throw the poop in the toilet and then wash in the machine hasn't been an issue {for me at least. The Fourth isn't usually first in line to do diaper laundry}. The worst part of it all? The clothes. There are really cute bubbles, rompers and short sets that just don't fit because Mimi's bottom is way too big. So, I tend to stick to dresses {Smocked. Obviously.} to cover her junk-in-her-tiny-trunk. Small price to pay if you ask me. If you have questions about taking the leap from disposable to cloth, feel free to contact me! Just don't Google it because you will become instantly overwhelmed by the crazy mothers who sew their own diapers and hand wash them in a creek. Look, I want to save money and the environment {kinda}, but I'm not grabbing the washboard anytime soon. Eating and Drinking, Mary Douglass [...]



I'm a genius.

2012-09-05T15:20:00.563-04:00

Perhaps "genius" is too strong of a term {I doubt it}, but I am constantly telling The Fourth, "I came up with that first!" every time I see some new sensation. Of course, I have no proof and so I'm not receiving any royalties {yet}. I'm still trying to work that part out.

 Don't believe me?  Here's just a small sampling of some of my greatest ideas:

June 2000, working in the hospital - After seeing those tiny laptops that nurses use, I told my coworkers that I wished I had a small computer that I could easily tote around and had the screen and keyboard all together. That way I could check my email, play Solitaire, and type out my to-do lists on my big electronic "tablet." INVENTION: iPad

Fall of 1998 - Wore my bathrobe backwards in the house because Big Daddy had the air conditioner set on "Artic."  INVENTION: The Snuggie
(image)
From As Seen on TV.  But I totally came up with this.

Spring of 2001 - Thought that it would be a great idea to have everyone in college scan in their yearbooks so we could see what people from high school look like now.  INVENTION: Facebook {now I know how those Winklevoss twins feel.}


Sometime in 1992 - I recorded Casey Kasem's Top 40 Countdown to listen to whenever I wanted.  INVENTION: iTunes

1998 - Wished for a razor that had the shaving cream built in around the blade. INVENTION: Schick Intuition Women's Razor.
(image)
Sure, I don't know how they get the cream to stick around the razor. But otherwise, I invented this, too.

2005 - Printed out images of websites I liked and put in a notebook for quick reference to find my favorite recipes, home decoration ideas and great ideas. INVENTION: Pinterest


After seeing how much money can be made from a simple idea, I think I need to get to work on developing the rest of my ideas!  Sure, there's a big leap from the idea in my head to the actual product on an infomercial, but come on...The Snuggie really does look like a backwards bathrobe.  Surely I can come up with something like that.

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass




My Own Mini MD

2012-08-28T10:35:13.087-04:00

Sometimes I just look at Mimi and think, "Oh, that is absolutely my daughter." Whether it be the way she smiles at The Fourth, or stuffs grits in her face, I think I'm just looking at my own Mini MD.
Some of the more obvious similarities:

She is very loud.
She cries when she's hungry or tired.
She waves. To anyone and everyone. And sometimes inanimate objects.
She is stubborn.
She laughs at her own jokes.
She loves the beach!

 She hangs out topless on the beach. {Just kidding; that's just Mimi!}

She takes at least 15 minutes to properly wake up.
She is bossy.
She says, "Mmmmmm" while eating.
She talks to herself.
She talks while other people are talk.
She talks in her sleep.
She prefers a Blackberry over an iPhone.



She sneezes in threes.
She is always interested in what you're eating. And if you'd like to share.
She prefers a good book to "Wheel of Fortune."

She loves grits.
She finds grits in her hair every time she eats them.


Her belly sticks out after a great meal.
She throws a fit if everyone in the room isn't giving her proper attention.

And those are just the most obvious ones. {Although I think The Fourth could probably come up with some that would embarrass me or Mimi! We'll just ignore those.}

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Flies.

2012-08-27T12:06:02.207-04:00

So I've been away from my blog for several months. And would you like to guess what I've been doing this whole time?

I've been at war. With flies.

 Does "war" seem too harsh of a term to use? Not if you ask the hundreds of flies who have died by my hand in the past several weeks. I don't know if this is true at your house, but the drosopholia melanogaster (aka "Common Fruit Fly") have completely invaded my house and workplace with a vengeance. They have gathered by the multitudes and all seem to have one common mission -- to fly up my nostril.
(image)
Drosophilia melanogaster.  My sworn enemy.  Image from Wikipedia.
That picture of the fly is really gross. Here's a picture of my super cute baby to get that one out of your mind:

Okay then.
I have several weapons in my arsenal for my attack.

My primary attack is my vicious swat attack. I have gotten surprisingly good at this. I can swat them on the table and even midair. But this results in a dead smashed bug on my hands {literally}, so I don't relish this.

Then I started using any paper I can find nearby to help in my swatting. Now my student loan companies have dead smashed bugs on my payments. And I don't even feel a little bad about that.

And then I got the suggestion to put leftover wine in a cup with Cling Wrap on top with a few holes poked in top. The end result is to trap the flies inside. There is no leftover wine in our household, so I just used an apple core. And the flies sure enough got trapped in there! Unfortunately, no one told me what to do once the flies were trapped. I made a huge mistake and opened the Cling Wrap and had a "My Girl" swarming situation. I think I pulled dead flies out of my hair for 3 days. On my second try, I decided to drown them with Clorox Clean-Up and that seemed to work. Well, it killed the flies. But ruined my cup.

But despite my best attacks, I'm still losing this battle. The flies nosedive right into my face and I've hit my husband, child and dog all trying to kill one last fly. And I can only imagine how many flies I've swallowed in my sleep.

So I'll keep fighting them until they all die. Or I just give up {which will happen sooner than later, most likely}.

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Completely Obscure Obsessions

2012-05-23T15:00:00.478-04:00

For some reason, I've already got several completely random, totally obscure things that I seem to be obsessed with this summer. I find myself gravitating to them over and over again. I wish I could say that "exercising on the EFX" was one of them, but it's just not.  In no particular order:  Radishes Radishes.  Courtesy of wikipedia.On a whim a couple weeks ago, I snatched up a bag of these red roots at the produce department and have been devouring them since. Really, the only thing I know to do with them is to slice them up on my salad, but I am eating them by the handful on my almost daily salad (still on that diet....). They have no taste, so I'm not sure what my recent fascination with them is all about. The only thing I can guess is that they have some crucial vitamin I am severely lacking and my body is trying to supplement it.  (That sounds scientific, doesn't it?)  Even the cashier at the grocery store wasn't sure how to ring them up.  I guess I may be the only person in Columbia buying them.Seersucker shorts Mother's Day at the Beach.Another on-a-whim-purchase I picked up that has now become my summer uniform. These shorts are perfect. Not too short -- I am frighteningly close to 30. Not too long -- Bermuda shorts on my frame make me look utterly ridiculous.  Sort of like an Oompa Loompa. They have retained their shape after several hundred washings since the baby seems to have atomic spit up every single time I wear them.  And I have worn them with every color shirt, tank top, and button down in my wardrobe.  Love them, simply love them.Hardcore PawnRemember when I was all uppity that we didn't have cable?  Well, we got it and my brain is quickly turning to mush.  The most ridiculous thing I watch?  Hardcore Pawn on truTV.  A reality show about a pawn shop in Detroit is not really something I could imagine myself becoming obsessed with...But I am. Is it Les' tight curls that draw me in?  Or Seth's inability to run the pawn shop on his own?   I'm not really sure, but it is scheduled on my DVR and I haven't read a book in a month.  I just don't think that is a coincidence.  Fancy Moroccan OilIn an effort to take care of my new hair and appear reasonably respectable, I followed my hairdresser's advice and picked up some Moroccan Oil.  Because my hair can't seem to decide if it wants to be curly or straight, it usually remains in a state of total frizz.  Hair serum is a must.  If I forget it in the morning, my hair will be a frizzy halo around my head by the afternoon.  But I tend to be a little heavy-handed with it and can go from shiny to greasy very quickly.  This oil, though, is super light and doesn't seem to get all Crisco-y in my hair.  No matter how many globs I put in.  Maybe I could pass on this advice to Les of Detroit's biggest pawnshop.Maurice Sendak DVDI found this DVD at TJ Maxx when I was pregnant and snatched up it because I clearly remembered it from my childhood! (Well, it was just a VHS then.  And we had to wait to rewind it to rewatch it.  I can't believe Mimi will never understand "Rewind.")  Not only does it have "Where The Wild Things Are," but it has my favorite Maurice Sendak book "Pierre."  That silly Pierre didn't even care when he got eaten by a lion!  Watching this DVD with Mimi instantly takes me back to watching (and rewinding and rewatching) the VHS with my cousin Vicki in the summers.  Even right now I have the song "One was Johnny!" in my head.  Although, I had sort of forgotten how weird Maurice Sendak's books are.  Baking a child in a cake?  Leaving a child home alone?  Choreographed dancing alligators?  All very trippy, if you ask me.Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Oh No She Didn't

2012-05-04T07:30:01.119-04:00

I loved my pacifier as a child.  I even faithfully held onto until I was 4 years old (Looking back, that seems entirely too long.)  But will my child take a pacifier....





No!  Of course, she puts everything else in her mouth. Her toys, the remote, my fingers, my phone, her dress, my dress.  I even try to trick her and sneak her the pacifier, but she spits it right out.

And then I caught her with her thumb in her mouth.

Do I have a thumb sucker?


Am I going to have sky-high orthodontist bills in my future?

 Will I have to use bribery to get her permanently wrinkled and shriveled thumb out of her mouth?

 Or will I become a share holder in Thum?
 

So what to do?

I'm not sure. I'm just going to keep trying to push the pacifier.  And she'll just keep giving me this face:



Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Let's Talk About My Hair

2012-05-03T07:00:06.819-04:00

I had heard about "post-baby hair," but naively thought that I would be exempt from this phenomenon. And when my sweet baby turned 3 months old, I was still sporting thick shiny hair and I smugly smiled to myself.

And then it happened.

My hair started falling out in handfuls. My bathroom floor had a new rug made from the piles of hair that escaped during blow-drying. The shower drain was constantly clogged. And the ends of my hair were becoming frayed and frizzy. I was not impressed.

 And it must have been fate that there was a Living Social deal that week for a hair salon! So off I went to get my hair did. And, feeling frisky, I decided not only to get a new haircut, but a new color as well. I have never dyed my hair before {unless, of course, you count "Sun-In" from my teen days} and was in complete denial about the actual color of my hair. I would describe my hair as "dirty blonde," but this was a lie. It could really only be described as "brown." I just hadn't embraced the fact that my hair was growing darker each year and I was a brunette. No blonde whatsoever.

(image)
Definitely brown.  And frizzy.  And someone remind me to close the closet door before taking a picture.

So I thought blonde highlights would be just the pick-me-up my hair needed.  Here's the "after":
(image)
Visiting sweet baby Jackson.
(image)
Mimi's baptism.  With The Fourth, Big Daddy and The Fifth.
I'm pretty happy with the result! I can see this being a slippery slope, though, and being platinum blonde before Christmas.  I'm giving you permission to tell me to stop highlighting when it gets out of control.

Also - does anyone else notice that Mimi's hair is getting lighter, too?  Is highlighting contagious?

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass

PS - Why does spell check say that "blonde" is incorrect?  Does it not have an "e?" 




Welcome Du Monde!

2012-05-02T10:43:38.353-04:00

A week ago, we had to say goodbye to our beloved 12 year old yellow lab, Bailey. It was terrible. Bailey had been really showing his age, but we were just not ready to stop hearing his toenails on the hardwoods and his house-shuttering snores.Bailey, the Wonder DogSo The Fourth immediately started looking for a new friend. With a few clicks online, he found Du Monde, a 3 year old yellow lab in a shelter in Easley. The Fourth is our resident dog expert and knew to avoid adopting dogs with descriptive phrases like "high-energy," "best for a family with lots of acreage," and "has a real zest for life!" These are just euphemisms for "totally inbred crazy and will eat your Sperrys before you even bring him home."The shelter said Du Monde would be groomed and ready to bring home on Thursday.  But The Fourth couldn't wait any moment longer and begged to go get him on Tuesday.  So by Tuesday afternoon, Du Monde was in our home and happy!  Du Monde is originally from New Orleans (hence the name, Cafe Du Monde. Beignets anyone??) and is already proved to be the sweetest dog in the world. He is uber-calm and loves to follow me room to room just to keep me company. {Or it could be because I gave him bacon yesterday afternoon and he is looking for another happy handout.}Of course, telling friends his unusual name results in the "Huh, wha?" response.  The Fourth has tried out a couple of nicknames, {"D," "Du" - sounds like "Doo" to me..., and "Monde"} but none have really resulted in a response.  I guess he just likes his real name! Du Monde, looking for bacon. He has let Mimi get in his face and pull his ears and he just continued to look lovingly at her. But he's not geriatric and showed some real energy chasing squirrels at the park and teasing other dogs. We are so happy to have another furry Smith in the house and I am especially thankful not to have a hyperactive puppy to house-train and hide all leather in the house.The Fourth and Du Monde.  Already letting him on the couch! Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



#Fail.

2012-04-25T22:34:19.370-04:00

I was simmering pears to make homemade baby food and got distracted with putting the cloth diapers in the laundry and this is what happened:


Completed burned pears and a ruined sauce pan.  My attempts at being "granola" didn't go very well yesterday.

Someone pass the Pampers and the Gerber jars of food.  And some wine for me.  Quickly.

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass

PS: That picture of the pan is actually after it soaked for a day and a half.  There is just no saving this one.





Why Are You Crying?

2012-04-14T07:00:04.072-04:00

And other questions I have for my 5 month old baby.Why didn't you love swimming?  It was a heated pool in February in Florida; what's not to love?!  (Maybe it's just because you didn't have a super cute bathing suit yet.  Don't worry, baby.  Mama has already fixed that!)   First time swimming.  Don't worry, she was at least wearing a diaper.  And me?  Still in a maternity swimsuit.  Sigh.How can you be so entertained by your own reflection in the mirror?  Is it because you realize you are just that good looking?  Or do you think that is another baby who has come to visit?Why, helllooo!Will you always love sweet potatoes? "Shut up, I'm starving!"And will you always insist on holding the spoon yourself?  Even when you repeatedly poke yourself in the eye?Do you mind when Bailey tries to creep on your playmat?  And a question for myself: Do I hang too many toys from your playmat?  Hm, yes, probably.Why is the Sunshine the only part of your Baby Einstein jumperoo that you are interested in?Completely obsessed.Do you know how to read??Reading her St. Patrick's card from Cousin Diane.But really...the question I ask this sweet girl day in and day out...why are you crying?!So very upset.Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Baby Mullet

2012-04-13T11:27:59.423-04:00

First blog post in several months and I'm going to talk about Mullets?! Yes, well, okay then.

 When our little darling was first born, we were more than surprised by her head full of dark hair. And we couldn't help but notice the hair that hung down past the back of her absurdly tiny neck. (Why are babies' necks so tiny compared to their large lollipop heads?! And the amount of curdled milk, Bailey dog hairs and laundry fuzz that gets caught up under there is enough to make me gag. Anyone else have this problem? I'm almost scared to ask if it's just me.)

So the Baby Mullet was pretty cute for a while. We'd laugh at it, try to braid it, attempted to put those neon-colored plastic beads on the end like they do in the Bahamas. But then her hair started falling out in places and the rattail just kept growing.

And growing.


And getting all scraggly.  As only a rattail can.


So in a fit of impatience, I grabbed some scissors and trimmed that mullet!  Do I have any experience in hair cutting?  No.  Did I even have the right scissors?  No, I used kitchen shears.  Did I have any business giving my baby her first hair cut?  In a word: No.  But I whacked off that rattail and even trimmed a little over her ears. 

The Fourth didn't panic when I sent him a photo text of my impulsiveness.  In fact, I think he was relieved that the mullet was gone. 

Now our only worry is what to do about that bald spot??  Is there a company that makes Baby Toupees?



Fortunately, our sweet girl doesn't even seem to care.


I just wouldn't let me near your own baby with scissors in hand. 


Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



A Conversation with a Giraffe

2012-02-08T22:26:34.343-05:00

Setting: A sunny day outside with my Sophie the Giraffe and my camera happy mom. The conversation went a little like this: "Just hanging out in my loungy chair with my giraffe named Sophie.  She's French.  Oui." "Oh Sophie the Giraffe, I love you so so much.  Your pitch black eyes.  Your squeaky body.  Your chewable ossicones.""Yeah, that's what those little horns are called.  I'm glad my mom looked that up on Wikipedia and has been boasting how she knows that word now.""Wait!  How did you end up upside down??""Oh, thank goodness.  You're right side up again.  But why does my mom keep taking pictures?""You know, Sophie, there may be a day when I find another toy I like.  But it doesn't mean I don't still love you.  This is hard to talk about...""Oh, who am I kidding!  You'll always be my favorite!"Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Lots of Bad Pictures

2012-01-21T16:17:37.545-05:00

I can't even imagine having a baby during a time before digital cameras. We take hundreds of pictures of our Sweet Girl, only to look back at the images and realize we have just one worth keeping.Things were a little different for my parents....taking 24 pictures on their 35mm camera and getting them developed at their local Revco...only to discover that I had my eyes closed, mouth open or arms shaking in every single one of them. All for $4.99.But today we click-click-click away and upload the good ones to Shutterfly (when there are 100 free print promos!) and laugh at the bad ones.Here are some especially sweet bad ones:Christmas Morning 2011I have several questions about this fine gem of a picture: Why are Mimi's feet so red?  Why did I not put an angel or bow or anything on top of our tree??  Why do I still look pregnant?  Why is Mimi scratching her face...again?Christmas Morning 2011.  Take 2.Oh, so much worse.  Full on tantrum.  And still bright red feet.  And topless tree.Another meltdown.  I thought she looked cute in her Feltman Brothers' dress. She obviously disagreed. Leaving the HospitalThis is actually a kind of sweet story. As we were leaving the hospital, a precious old lady wanted to take our picture. She had very cute blue hair and was possibly Moses' sister. Of course we wanted to indulge her.  And there was no way we were going to tell her how fuzzy the picture turned out.Mimi on her 2 month birthday"Mom, I'm not interested.  And my hair is all static-y."Mountain Weekend, January 2011It seems we stunned the little girl by making her leave her warm fireside place in the den to take a family picture outside.  It was quite chilly and she is not amused.I'm sure we will have hundreds more bad pictures in the future.  And, don't worry, I'll be glad to share them here on the blog!Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Who Were The Old Wives Anyways?

2012-01-20T11:02:00.221-05:00

There are a lot of Old Wives' Tales about pregnancy, birth and babies.  And the whole time you are pregnant, you hear all of them at some point. Most of them are about the sex of the baby.  This seems to be a big point of conversation.  I don't know how those women wait until delivery to find out if the little one is a boy or girl.  I imagine they get real sick of hearing all of these old wives' tales the whole time (because I was sure tired of them for 20 weeks!).Here are some of the most popular ones I heard: Craving sweets means a GIRL: This one was TRUE for me.  Normally, I am a "salty snacker."  Pre-pregnancy, I craved salt and vinegar chips, pickles and french fries.  But when I was pregnant, all I wanted was ice cream sundaes, pears, trail mix (with far too many M&M's!) and Icees.Heartbeat above 140 (beats per minute) means a GIRL: More or less TRUE for me.  When we heard our little baby's heartbeat at 12 weeks, it was 140.  On the dot.  We asked the doctor if he'd like to guess the sex of the baby based on that heartbeat.  His answer?  "Sure, but I'm only right 50% of the time."  Har de har har, gynecology humor.How you carry the baby - Horizontally is a GIRL, Right out in front is a BOY: TRUE for me.  I appeared pregnant from every angle.  I didn't just have a baby "bump," I had a baby "bulge."  With Katherine at the beach for July 4th.  Oh, so pregnant.Acne - Bad acne means GIRL and that she will be beautiful (because she's stealing all of Mama's beauty): TRUE!  Oh, the acne that I had (okay, fine, still have...). I like to consider it my first real mother-sacrifice because my baby really is good looking.Morning Sickness - GIRL: FALSE! Didn't throw up once.  Had nausea once or twice before bed, but it wasn't anything a cookie didn't cure.Heartburn means a head full of hair: FALSE!  Well, maybe it's true, but it's not required. My sweet girl was born with a very surprising amount of hair.  It's usually the first thing people comment on when they see her.  And after 2 and 1/2 months, most of the hair is still in place.  (We'll ignore that teeny bald patch on the back!)  Then, everyone asks how bad my heartburn must have been during pregnancy.  And, believe it or not, I didn't have any!  And I still enjoyed my jalapenos and spicy salsa without incident.Mimi on January 1st at 2 months old!  Still so much hair!So, just like all of the unsolicited baby advice that comes your way, just ignore the Old Wives' tales.  It's the only way to keep you sane throughout the pregnancy.But will I now be one of those crazy women who tries to predict the sex of your baby?  Oh, you betcha.Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Memories of The Salty Nut

2012-01-06T21:08:08.251-05:00

Did you hear? The Salty Nut burned!  It's been all over the news and Facebook is about to implode from all the status updates about it, so if you haven't heard, your internet must be down or something. Now, it's been several years since I darkened the doors of that fine establishment, but it still has a sweet place in my heart. It was my go-to bar in grad school and I spent many a night throwing peanut shells on the floor, drinking Bud Light and admiring former frat boys in visors (I should add that this was mostly Pre-Stan...).I loved the doorman.  I loved when I wasn't there on a Thursday night, he would ask me where I'd been.  (Although if that was happening now, I'd be more embarrassed than impressed.  But I was 23 at the time, so it was awesome!)My favorite St. Patrick's Day was sitting on the back porch watching all of the debauchery and drama unfolding with the undergrads (and more than likely, underaged) in front of Pavlov's until late in the night with Emily.I have a great memory of my first hamburger there with Kathryn.  Somehow we had been going to The Nut for over a year and had yet to actually eat anything besides the roasted peanuts.  And we were both pleasantly surprised at how delicious the burger was!  And when we were completely stuffed and satisfied and they took away our baskets...we both dived back into the roasted peanuts on the table.  Why is it that we can't resist free food sitting on the table??I loved the thrill of getting a good outside table on a perfect spring day.  So what if that meant getting there at 3:30 in the afternoon?  This was obviously before I had a real job with real responsibilities to get to the next morning.  These days I'd have to take several personal days just to recover from an afternoon of drinking.  And I have a baby to take care of now.  Can't forget that.I hope that they will rebuild the Salty Nut.  It was ideal for everyone who is in that part of life after college and before babies.  With Caroline, I think after a football game (which makes sense, because it looks very crowded at The Nut).  The real question is - why I am holding my wallet and where is my purse?  Was I confused that my wallet was a clutch?  Was that cool in 2009?With Doug and Emily at my favorite people watching table (right by the bar, near the door).  Does Emily's head look unusually large?  Just sayin...A big group shot on the back porch.  We were so excited to be wearing sundresses, but I think it was actually pretty cold that night!I think I just may have to sleep in my navy blue Salty Nut t-shirt tonight just for ol' times sake!Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



We have a smile!

2011-12-22T09:58:46.963-05:00

The Fourth didn't believe me. He said it was gas.

But I think we have a smile!

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With her 1st Angel Ornament

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Okay, more of a smirk than a smile.

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Same chair.  Different outfit.  But proof that it wasn't just a one day fluke.

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Somewhere between a smile and a cry. Baby has some emotional issues.

I like to think she's just saving her smiles for me.

Of course, she also seems to save other activities just for me, too: projectile spit-up, blow-out diapers, piercing screams right in my ear and scratches from her talons tiny fingernails.  The Fourth has managed to avoid all of those fun activities so far.  But if it means I'm getting smiles, I'll take it!

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Baby Clothes With No Purpose

2011-12-16T08:00:03.391-05:00

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Lounging on her Boppy.
I was hanging out with the baby today and admiring just how cute she looked in her sweet Kissy Kissy gown. 

The gown has everything you want in baby clothes: It's soft.  It has the sweet scalloped edge you only see on baby clothes.  It's easy to snap off and on.  It has the little sleeves that fold over her jagged fingernails. 

It has a tiny pocket on the chest. 

Wait, a pocket?!

Why would a baby need a tiny pocket?!  Is she carrying around her credit card?  Does she use it to store pens for ready access (and does it come with tiny pocket protectors to prevent ink spills?)?  Does she keep her car keys in it?  Maybe spare change? 

I really can't think of a single reason why a baby would need a pocket.  I even tried to put her pacifier in it, but it was too small.  At 6 weeks old, a pacifier is really the only accessory she has at this point.  (Well, except for hairbows.  With that much hair, I'm taking full advantage of hairbows already!)

Of course, about 90% of my sorority tees had a chest pocket that had no real purpose, so maybe she's just preparing for a closet full of party tees.

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Is It Just My Baby?

2011-12-15T11:53:00.670-05:00

I imagine every new mom feels like this, but I can't help but wonder if my baby is a freak.I mean, a cute, snuggly, wonderful freak.  But a freak baby, nonetheless. There are just some weirdo things that she does that I can't imagine any other baby does: Stare absently into space - What is she thinking about?  Winter fashion?  Barometric pressure?  Farm animals?  The theory of relativity?  Her next meal?  Who knows?  (But, if I was a gambler, I'd put my money on the last one; she's a little piggie!)Possibly composing beautiful a symphony in her mind.  Or just thinking about food.Moves like one of those wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men - I realize that she doesn't have great control over her arms, but how do they always wind up slapping her in the face and scratching her cheeks, eyes, eyebrows, forehead, everywhere!  And after a particularly violent slap to the face, she'll look at me like I made her do that.  I promise, little girl, I had nothing to do with that.  And the girl can break out of a swaddle.  I've tried every recommended blanket and watched every video, and she can still wriggle those little arms out, especially as we approach feeding time.Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men.  She often looks like that little red one on the bottom.Quick healing - She'll have these scratches all over her face (from the wacky waving flailing arms, see above) and, I swear, they will heal within the day.  The Fourth believes this is from the antibodies she's getting from nursing.  But if that's the case, why do I have paper cuts that don't seem to heal for a week if I have all of these super human antibodies?!  Dirty fingernails - For a baby that spends most of her time indoors, sweet girl has some major dirt under her tiny nails!  Has she been gardening?  Working as a freelance mechanic?  I have resorted to using her soft bristle hairbrush to scrub her tiny nails in the tub.  It only somewhat helps.Fingernails - after a thorough cleaning.Ear hair - Oh, I hope this black, furry hair lining her ears falls out!  And soon.  She'll never get a date looking like an Ewok. Potentially has bipolar disorder - She goes from sweet cooing, to hysterical crying, to fast asleep, to staring off in space and then back again.  All within 5 minutes.  She has about as much control on her emotions as she does her arms.  Crying.  I see this face a lot.Moves her head like Stevie Wonder - This one cracks me up.  She will shake her head back and forth in a figure 8 and looks just like him!  It makes me break into "Isn't She Lovely" every time!Every day with this little girl makes me laugh and wonder what's in store for the future.  What new weirdo things are in store for us?!Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



Groundhog Day of Dresses

2011-12-12T17:40:00.212-05:00

I discovered the Ravon convertible dress on Ideeli last year and am proud to say that I have been able to wear it several times - much to the relief of The Fourth and my wallet.  Basically it's about 9 feet of fabric that you can tie a hundred different ways.  Halter, strapless, one-shoulder, sleeves, whatever!  Of course, it's not always easy tying the dang thing.  I recommend at least 30 minutes, a glass of wine and, preferably, a friend to help you do it.  I usually have to tie it 4 or 5 times before I get it right.  I bought the navy one, thinking that navy is the new black.  Classic, but interesting.  (Like me...Ha!)First, I wore it to the Holiday Market Preview Party in 2010. One shoulder - so far my favorite way.  I also really liked my hair that night.  However, I have not be able to repeat either the way I tied the dress or how I did my hair since.  Figures.With Ashley at Holiday MarketI encouraged my sister-in-law to buy the red one this year and she agreed as long as I would always tie it for her.  Fair enough.  And when my beautiful dress from Rent The Runway did not fit, I begged asked Graham if I could wear her red dress.  Before she had even worn it.  And being a sweet friend, she said yes!  As long as I kept my promise to tie hers when she wore it.  Deal!I wore the red dress to Holiday Market Preview Party this year.  I did a pretty basic tie, but with extra ruching across the mid section because, well, I did just have a baby 4 weeks ago!The dress was also easily disassembled for pumping half way through the party.  TMI?  Possible.And just a few days after the Preview Party, we headed to the St. Andrews Society Tartan Ball.  Graham requested the one-shoulder look (which, I must say, looked pretty great on her).Me, Graham and EmilyAnd I went for sleeves since I had some weird bruise on my arm that needed to be covered up.  Where did I get the bruise?  I have no idea, but The Fourth would like everyone to know that he is not responsible.  I was wearing the Douglass tartan, so you can't really see the way I tied it, but you get the idea.  And, I must say, the navy looks pretty good with the tartan!Me and Big Daddy.Me and The Fourth.The Fam!  The Fourth, Me, Big Daddy, The Fifth & Pearman (The Fifth's girlfriend)So I'd say I've already gotten my money out of the dress (and Graham's, too!), but I still plan on wearing it a few more times!  So proud of myself.Now if I just had an event to go to...  Anyone want to throw a black tie party? Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



First Trip to the Beach!

2011-12-09T08:00:04.529-05:00

The Fourth and I are already trying to instill our love for the beach in to Sweet Mimi.  I'd say she's well on her way to loving the sand and surf as much as we do!

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Family walk down the beach!  Mimi's loving it, I'm sure.
We spent a gorgeous Thanksgiving weekend at the beach and made sure that Mimi got some good sun time.
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Have infant carrier.  Will travel.
I made sure to get in the sun, too.  On our walk over the boardwalk, Big Daddy looked down at my legs (which were sporting shorts!  In November!) and asked me why I was wearing tights.  Um...those aren't tights, Dad.  Those are my frighteningly pale legs.  Thanks, though.
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A picture of me and the Sweet Girl.  Making sure that my white legs weren't in the picture to avoid overexposure to the lens.

I'd say Mimi is pretty excited about sporting a bathing suit in just a few months!  Her mother?  Notsomuch.

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Holiday Market Hilarity

2011-12-08T13:32:00.207-05:00

Well, we survived another year of Holiday Market! It's always a fun time and a culmination of months of hard work to make some money for the Junior League.  Not everyone has as much fun in her placement as I do, but what can I say?  It's for the kids...First there was the Preview Party. I had originally hoped to wear a dress from Rent The Runway, but when it came in on Tuesday, I realized that my chest was, well, too big for the beautiful Robert Rodriguez gown.  But how mad could I really get about that?  And with a full refund credit to use later (no expiration date either!), I am planning on getting another dress at some point for some fabulous party.  I'll just have to account for my post-baby ta-tas.The beautiful gown I didn't get to wear.  Sigh.Me (in my back up dress) and Sarah.Me and The Fourth.  And, no, that's not a diamond stud reflecting in his ear.And, of course, there was fun play in the Cantey Building, including wheelchair races. Natalie wins in the Fabric 101 Wheelchair!  (Sorry for the grainy cell phone pic.  My camera battery had long died at this point!) Leftover champagne and delirium from being in the Cantey Building for a week may have been a factor... And there were middle school giggles over a misprinted sign.   The food tastes like whaaa?For future reference, "association" should really be abbreviated "Assoc."  Just saying.And Mimi was a great sport spending her 4th week of life at the Fairgrounds.  In fact, I think she was there enough to have earned placement credit!  What a good little Junior Leaguer!Eating and Drinking,Mary Douglass[...]



One Month Old!

2011-12-06T20:23:07.005-05:00

In the past month...

I have survived on less sleep than I ever thought possible.  I will never never never complain about 5 hours of sleep again.

I've learned what Lanolin is.  And have developed an unnatural daily need for it.

I have heard my little 7 pound girl poot so loudly that it startles me, The Fourth and Bailey.

I have thoroughly enjoyed Pinot Grigio again.


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So happy to be a month old on December 1st!
I have unrealistically tried to put on prepregnancy clothes.

And then put my pregnancy jeans back on and gleefully ate without hesitation.

I have made plans to diet in January. 

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Probably giggling at how ridiculous Mom is.
I have thanked The Fourth for getting cable again...especially DVR.

I have watched hundreds of episodes of "How I Met Your Mother," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," "The Office," and "TMZ."

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Love that side look.  I get that one a lot.
I have enjoyed many meals made by friends who just show up at my front doorstep with hot delicious food.

I have learned how to get poop, spit up and Maalox (baby has some violent reflux) out of our clothes.  Mostly.

All in all, it's been a wonderful month.  And I can't believe we get to keep her!

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass



Post-Partum Love

2011-11-25T12:01:42.496-05:00

Burping the baby.  How funny is that expression?I have been known to carry on about things.  My latest?  That I made it through 10 months of pregnancy without stretch marks!  Oh, how I carried on to anyone who would listen about how pretty my pregnant belly looked and how I faithfully applied cocoa butter to escape those icky marks of motherhood.  And when I had to get a C-Section, I lamented the fact that I would now have a scar (gasp!) and ruined my otherwise mark-free belly.  The Fourth listened to all of this and even heard me say things like, "I'll be back wearing 2 piece bathing suits next summer!"And then ...I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day getting out of the shower.  And right there on my side were stretch marks!  And not even light-barely-can-see-them marks.  For real stretch marks.  The "Before" picture in a Mederma ad type of stretch marks.  Ahhh!  I was so embarrassed!  And then I realized how many people I had bragged to about my "perfectly marked free belly" and was even more mortified.  It took me two days to 'fess up to The Fourth that I was, in fact, wrong and I did, in fact, have stretch marks.And you know what he said?"I already know."Wait a minute, now.  The Fourth had listened to me boast to anyone within earshot for weeks now and he remained silent the entire time?!  Never called me out that I was completely erroneous?!  Never even rolled his eyes during my crow-fests?!  Never corrected me in front of someone?! All for the sake of letting me believe that I had better skin than I really do?!If that's not true love, then I don't know what is.  It may not be in the marriage vows how fragile the ego is and how important it is to build up your wife during her crazy post-partum days.  But it probably should be.And The Fourth deserves an award for that one.Eating and Drinking, Mary DouglassPS: Since I figured you didn't want pictures of my stretch marks, I thought I'd add cute pictures of Mimi.  I'm glad she's so cute; it makes even stretch marks worth it.Early morning photo shoot on the changing table in her Monkey Pajamas!Asking The Fourth to plleeeassee let her be a Blue Hose![...]



Prescription Confusion

2011-11-23T20:20:00.986-05:00

After the unintended C-Section, I got an unintended infection at my incision.  There was a lot of crying, and not just from the newborn.

And so I got put on an antibiotic - Cephalexin - that would clear my infection, wreck havoc on my gut and make my breastfeeding baby fussy.  All things you want to have just days after giving birth.

But like a good little patient, I took my medicine like I'm supposed to and only forgot my dose once (I somehow ended up with an extra capsule a day after I was supposed to be done.  Just goes to show that pharmacists are terrible at taking medicine!)

And then a few days later, our beloved dog Bailey got some yucky wound on his side.  And off to the vet he went and came back with a bandage and an antibiotic.

As I was giving Bailey his morning dose and taking my own, I realized I mixed up our capsules!  After trying to figure out if I should call my doctor, the vet, the Poison Control Center or all three, I realized that it didn't matter.  The capsules were exactly the same!  I checked his bottle and sure enough, Bailey was on Cephalexin, too! 

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Cephalexin 500mg - Same Capsules for People and Dogs
I don't know if I should be amazed, disturbed or comforted (Bailey was on a higher dose than me; I like to think he weighs more than I do). 

We are both doing better now, thanks for asking.  My infection is completely cleared and Bailey is still wearing his bandage.  Of course, The Fourth didn't want to pay up for another vet visit, so he did a little wound care himself.

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Poor Old Man.
Why, yes.  That is duct tape. 

Eating and Drinking,

Mary Douglass