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Preview: Digital Two-Footed Tackles

Digital Two-Footed Tackles

Updated: 2018-03-05T08:44:10.148-08:00


Chevy's Contextual Targeting Blunder


HAHA. This gave me a good laugh. I was cruising Renny Gleeson's blog and saw this post he put together about a Chevy Traverse ad showing up on a "Auto Bailout Collapses in Senate" page. This makes me laugh histerically. You can't make this stuff up. Check it out for yourself here.

Burn In Hell Bernard Madoff


No one deserves to be tortured in a public place, everyday for 6 months, more than Bernard Madoff. If you are not familiar with this dickhead piece of shit, he masterminded the greatest Ponzi scheme in Wall Street history. $50 billion worth. Read here to find out why he should die a horrible death and then be tortured for all of eternity.

Who's Got Wii Fit Fever?


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Wii Fit is all the rage these days. Especially around the Holidays. Even my mom has it and is actively using it by the way. She's becoming a yoga master overnight. Actually, all the Baby Boomers are buying Wii Fit.

Nintendo has revolutionised gaming once again. Taking gaming away from the ridiculously hard games and making gaming fun again. Simple A & B. No longer do you have to spend 14 hours a day playing Halo 3 in order to be good at it. It's made gaming social which is quite fun. I mean, I come home and play Wii Bowling with my parents or Mario Kart with my lady friend. You couldn't do that with an XBOX or a Playstation 3. Even senior citizens are doing it:

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Point of note: I haven't touched my XBOX 360 in over a year and a half except to watch DVD's. This coming from a guy who played hours of Halo a day. I HAVE BEEN SAVED BY NINTENDO. WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

My personal favorite on Wii Fit is the balance game wear soccer balls and cleats get kicked launched in your direction. The sound it makes when a cleat hits you in the face makes my dad crack up laughing. This in turn makes me crack up laughing. Meanwhile my mom continues to take cleats to the face the more we laugh. She gets frustrated and we laugh more. God I love the Holidays.

Super Bowl A No-Go For FedEx


(image) For the first time in 12 years, FedEx will not be running an ad during the Super Bowl. The average Super Bowl ad this year is around $3 million so it's obvious why they wouldn't. I mean, do they really need to at this point? You can't walk through downtown San Francisco with out tripping over a FedEx or a FedEx Kinkos. They've become like Starbucks.

I say job well done on pulling out of the big game. I know they are using the economy as an excuse but no one remembers a FedEx ad during the Super Bowl anyway. At least I never had. More info here.

Dreaming of A White Christmas


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Being from Southern California I dream of having a white Christmas a my parents house. As it will never happen we have to head the mountains like Big Bear, Mammoth Mountain or any of Lake Tahoe's resorts to enjoy the fluffy splender of snow.

Hearing news like this, of snow blanketing the mountains on or around Christmas is music to my ears. I feel sorta bad for those who have to deal with snow on a daily basis but it's great for us So. Cal folks, as the ski/snowboard season official kicks into gear.

Now fo the poor saps below, I feel no sorrow for you being at the airport for three days. Get a hotel. Why don't you try and leave a day or two earlier. Every year it's the same story with people being lodged at the airport for days on end. All while us Cali folk sit back and laugh. At least I did with this clip.

Why would anyone stay at he airport for three days. Seems absurd. Then again, that's the midwest for you. If you don't like the snow, move to Arizona. Where all that will accumulate on your front lawn is roadrunner shit.

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National Geographic's: Journey to the Edge of the Universe


(image) Last night premiered the National Geographic Special: Journey to the Edge of the Universe. In case you mised it, it will be next airing Sunday December 14th at 11 am. Be sure to record or watch it because it is worth your while.

What you are looking (above) at is a picture of a black hole swallowing a star. I must say it was a fascinating show with mindblowing visuals and head scratching content. It's very hard to imagine such things are out there. Our galaxy is massive and to think there are billions of galaxies out there sort of makes your head hurt.

My favorite line from the show was, "Scientists in the 70's sent a message to a cluster of stars called the 'Seven Sisters' with a road-map of how to find our solar system. The message also contained explanations for out human DNA hear on Earth. But the 'Seven Sisters' are so far from Earth, it will take 25,000 years for the message to reach them." Well done NASA.

This is the best job ever. Sending messages to planets that will be received 25,000 years from now. Can never fail really. No measurement of success or failure.

Here are some fun facts about our solar system you can use to impress your friends:
  • Venus, the goddess of love, is the solar system's brightest planet.
  • Although similar in size and gravity as Earth, Venus' atmosphere is full of deadly sulphuric acid.
  • Covered with a thin veneer of rock, Mercury is a huge ball or iron and has a powerful gravitational pull for its size.
  • The strongest magnet known in the universe is a magnetar, a rare type of neutron star. To date, there have only been about ten discoveries of a magnetar.
  • The sun is so far away that if it burned out we wouldn't know about it for eight minutes.
  • The red planet, Mars, has no ozone layer and has nothing to protect against the sun's ultra-violet rays. This makes it unlivable for humans.
  • By dating the meteorites found on Earth, we can tell the planets were born 4.6 billion years ago.
  • Jupiter is spinning at an incredible rate, whipping up winds to hundreds of miles an hour.
  • Saturn is a giant ball of gas; so light it would float on water.

Be sure to check out the show. You will thank me.

Two-Footed: I'm Back


After some life changes there will be some changes to the blog. Look for those updates in the coming days as well as new posts to follow. Stay tuned. Oh and by the way, Jon Branch @ Culture Catalyst wears women's undies while at work!

When Players Strike Back: Bastia Style


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There is a new bruiser in town. No it's not Vinnie Jones. No it's not Robbie Savage. It's Adrian Bastia a.k.a. Polaco. Never heard of him? Don't worry neither had I. But I know the name now because this guy is someone special.

A brilliant moment of comedy arrived at the end of Panathinaikos’ 1-1 home draw with Asteras Tripolis on Saturday.

With the game drifting to its natural conclusion, the visitors made a late substitution to presumably look to waste a few valuable seconds as they sought to claim a point on the road. As the substitution was unfolding, a youth managed to run onto the pitch, but quickly found himself being chased by two security officials.

Running for his freedom, the youth headed towards a group of players, where Asteras’ forward Adrian Bastia was standing. And rather than let the officials catch the kid, Bastia decided to take matters into his own hands, kicking the little punk around the knee, sending the kid tumbling to the floor. Once grounded, the ground staff pounced. But that was not the end of the matter.

Having seen the incident, the man in black immediately sent off the ponytailed striker, in a truly bizarre moment. Cue the instant kerfuffle on the pitch between the players.

Let this be a lesson to all you little Greek punks and all pitch invaders out there, if you step on the pitch with big boys, you're going to get hurt. Maybe even humiliated.

This is just good TV. I mean giving the guy a red card for knocking him down when this kid is interrupting the game is pretty ridiculous. How is he supposed to know what this little brat is going to do. I say well done Polaco. He did those fat security guards a favor. Although they probably could have used the run. If you are going send the guy off, do it for that nasty haircut he is sporting. "You're going bald mate. Let it go ehh!"

Nike Thinks Pink Is Cool Too


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Seems shoe manufacturers are thinking players want to wear pink cleats these days. As I posted a couple days ago, Puma has a new cleat they are pushing which in "en rose".

Today, I stumbled upon this video from Nike showing their new Mecurial Vapor Rosa cleat. The video stars Bayern Munich's Franck Ribery as the "Pink Panther". They did this for 2 obvious reasons: Franck Ribery is French as was the Pink Panther. With that connection, Ribery wears the cleat so making him the Pink Panther in the video makes perfect sense to promote a new pink color of boot. Pink Panther = French and Pink. Franck Ribery = French and wears Pink cleats. Genius.

Annnnnyway, apparently Ribery was the first to wear the Rosa boot when the French international turned out for Bayern Munich in his finest pink regalia at home to Energie Cottbus in the Bundesliga. People will say that he is in touch with his feminine side by wearing a cleat of such color. I say the man is in touch with his financial side.

They say it takes a real man to wear pink. Well here's why Franck Ribery can wear pink:
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Adidas Boston Brotherhood



I am a die hard Lakers fan but I must admit, I do think Kevin Garnett is a class act both on and off the court. The sting of losing the Celtics in the finals last year was lessened knowing Garnett finally had a title. Having been said, Paul Pierce is still a little bitch and has that Chris Webber whiners face all the time. 12-1 this season so far Paul. 12-1.

Anyway, this video by adidas starring Garnett is a quality piece in my opinion. It's good to see stand up guys in the NBA helping out the youth by passing on knowledge and advise. I commend adidas for really bringing together the aspect of team and community and being able to show it in an original format.

Keep it up adidas. You might just inch a little closer to Nike with stuff like this.

NASA's Floating Bag of Tools


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A NASA astronaut made a boo-boo and accidentally fumbled a bag of tools into space on the last space walk. Now the tools are floating through Earth's orbit.

According to Brian William's, you can see the tools floating by (I find this hard to believe) if you are in a clear location. So somewhere over someone's head is a $1,000,000 bag of space age wrenches. Heads up!

Adidas Originals Knows How To Party


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Check out this new adidas Originals video they are currently showing on Not to brag, but this is what my aunt's house will be like tomorrow on Thanksgiving. Celebrities and all. If you get a chance cruise by. She lives in Fullerton.

Visual Depiction of Financial Crisis


In case you are like me and want to know what exactly happened to cause the stock market to tank, check out this excellent graphical depiction of why things went wrong, biiiigtime. This image was made possible by Mint's blog.

Click HERE.

Nicolas Anelka Has Been Kidnapped!


Chelsea and France striker Nicolas Anelka has been kidnapped by some beautiful French woman in her bra and stockings. No joke. And she's holding him in some room at shoe point. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

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I don't speak French but from what I can gather this Puma spot is to promote their new soccer boot in front of the UEFA Champion's League clash between Chelsea FC and FC Girondins de Bordeaux.

Played only a couple of hours ago. The game finished 1-1 with goals from the featured man, Nicolas Anelka, and Bordeaux's Alou Diarra. The draw leaves both clubs still in the competition going into the last group match.

Not to focus just on Anelka, the beautiful French woman (love the outfit by the way) proceeded to make things fair as she also kidnapped one of the Bordeaux players as well, Tremoulinas.
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Here you can watch a clip of the making of the Puma "Rose" video's:
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Mama Lucchetti Ads


At this point I do not have a clue what Lucchetti is, but these commercials gave me a laugh. Maybe it's because I don't speak Spanish very well. Maybe it's because the little characters are shaped like beans with hair. I think it's because this song is so damn catchy. "Lu Lu Lucchetti".

They ads were done by PepperMelon. You should go to their reel and see the other cool things they've done.





It has come to my attention that Lucchetti is a soup company of sorts. Would never have guessed from the commercials. Anyhoo, rumor has it this campaign has generated over 50,000 Facebook fans. Not a bad number for a soup company. It's amazing what few jelly bean characters with wigs on can do for a product like soup.

Maybe someone can help out Lucchetti with their search engine management so they show up on a damn search. I can't find the website to save my life.

Torres & Messi: The Early Years


Unless you live under a rock, we all know who Fernando Torres and Lionel Messi are and what they are capable of. Goal after goal these these two light up stadiums around the world with their fantastic goals and performances for Liverpool/Spain & Barcelona/Argentina.

But have you seen them play before they were global stars? Well if you haven't, here are 2 videos of the Torres and Messi when only their families knew who they were:

Here is Fernando Torres at the age of 12 playing for Atletico Madrid against AC Milan. As you can see even then he had a knack for goal as he bangs in 2 against the young Rossenairi. Love the bowl cut.

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It didn't take long for Torres to become a household name as his amazing Barclays English Premier League inaugural campaign saw him net 25 times for the Reds. If you missed it, see below and then buy Fox Soccer Channel & Setanta subscriptions as you need to up your game.

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Here we have 5 yr old Lionel Messi running circles around his opponents in some genuine footage from 1993.

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It doesn't really matter what age he is because he will pretty much dribble around anyone that gets in his way. The clip below displays his class and ability to do whatever he likes with the ball. The video closes with the "Messidona" goal he scored against Getafe 2 seasons ago where he emulated the classic goal scored by Diego Maradona against England in the '86 World Cup in Mexico. The goal is arguably one of the greatest individual efforts to scoring that anyone has ever seen.

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Sugar Daddy's Are Like Cement


(image) Random I know but I just ate a Sugar Daddy for the first time in a decade and it almost pulled out all my teeth. After the first bite I had it stuck in my teeth for about 15 min. You could probably melt a Sugar Daddy down and use it to patch holes in dams or lay brick.

Now that we're on the subject, check out the history of the Sugar Daddy:

"Sugar Daddy is a caramel lollipop manufactured by Tootsie Roll Industries. A bite-sized candy, based on the Sugar Daddy is marketed under the name Sugar Babies.

The Sugar Daddy was originally called the Papa and was invented in 1925 by the James O. Welch Company, and was the biggest lollipop of its time. The name was changed to Sugar Daddy in 1932. Sugar Babies were introduced three years later, in 1935.

Today, Sugar Daddies are produced in two sizes, the Junior Pop, with 53 calories, and the Large Pop, with 200 calories."

Fascinating right? If you are ever in the mood to impersonate Mr. Ed just get the large Sugar Daddy and sink the entire right or left side of you mouth into. That should have you trying to get it out of your chompers for at least 10 min.

Well...I'm Going To Namibia


(image) Through the use of my new favorite thing to play with, StumbleUpon (blog post about StumbleUpon to follow) I cam across a blog showing pictures of Etosha National Park, Namibia. The South-West African park covers an area of more than 22 thousand square kilometers in the north. Etosha is famous for its flora and fauna and hosts 114 species of mammals, 50 species of snakes and 340 varieties of birds.

I was truly blown away by the beauty of Namibia and will tell you now that I will visit this country before I pass. If you would like to see the other photos of the beautiful landscape and the animals that make it special, click here. Some breath taking shots.

For other stunning photos of Namibia, check these out as well:

Sidenote: StumbleUpon was brought to my attention by this batch here.

Climb Aboard With Captain Morgan


(image) In a struggle for blogging material I'm turning to the random things I come across in this beautiful world wide web of ours. Today, in the internet brought me to the beautiful pirate world of Captain Morgan.

It has often been my dream to be a pirate and sail the seven seas in search of nothing really. Going from port to port. Parrots. Exotic locations. Singing "Yo ho yo ho the pirates life for me." Not bad I say. I know my friend Birch would join the pirate life for the rum alone. All he needs is a boat at this point.

But back to Captain Morgan. They are doing a below average job with their site. Ya they show the different products and display a few pics of skantily clad women but other than that there isn't much reason to stay beyond 1 minute. They are always pushing the tv spots showing people doing the famous "leg lift" on a barrel of rum. I think to provide an experience on the site they need to create something where people can upload pictures of themselves doing the leg lift. Create a community atmosphere. Something to get people more involved with the site and product. Otherwise this site was a pretty big waste of time.

The Captain Morgan people should have a look at Bacardi, as their site is a little better and offers more for the user.

Bolivia's Aurora Get Stuck In


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Bolivian league champions Aurora decided to have a go at the police during their game the other night. South American's are the best soccer fighters by far. Their kicks and flailing are right out of a Van Damme flick. And look how resoureful they can be, goalkeeper Silvio Dulcich using the corner flag to wail away on the cops like he is William Wallace. 10 points Silvio.

Somehow, Aurora was able to win the game 1-0. Don't ask me how. I saw at least a few bookable offenses. But I understand why the police got involved in the first place to escort a player of the pitch. Anyone who receives a red card isn't in the best mood and probably doesn't want to be touched.

At 2:15 it looks like they decided to line-up for a rugby scrum.

Maple Story Virtual Murder Drama


HAHA...I had never heard of Maple Story before this story, but I must say, I'm interested now:

"JAPANESE piano teacher has been arrested on suspicion of killing her “virtual husband” after becoming enraged that he suddenly divorced her in an online game.

The 43-year-old woman allegedly hacked into a man’s computer and killed off his avatar in the popular interactive game Maple Story, the Associated Press reported.

The woman, who is in custody on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, allegedly used the man’s ID and password to log on and carry out the virtual murder in May, said a police official in the northern city of Sapporo, according to the AP.

“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” the police official quoted the woman as telling investigators.
The man behind the woman’s online husband, a 33-year-old office worker, complained to police when he discovered that his online avatar was dead.

The woman was arrested on Wednesday, police said. She had not yet been charged but if convicted could face up to five years in prison or a fine of up to $5000 ($7400).

Maple Story players create and manipulate avatars that represent themselves in relationships, social activities and fighting monsters and other obstacles."

This is when you know you have no life. Killing avatar's of online husbands. When I first read this I thought it was a bit harsh to give her jail time. Then I thought about it a little more and maybe the best thing for the world and the city of Sapporo is that this woman is locked up. Imagine what she'd do if her real life mate were to dump her. Be like the return of Godzilla.

I have an idea for this woman. At 43, maybe stop toying with little online fake people and put on a nice outfit, heals, and go find yourself a man in the flesh. Not pixels. Just an idea. Last time I checked avatar's weren't capable of mating. C'mon
, lock it up.

James Bond's New Gadget: Ericsson C902


Brands are always chomping at the bit to get involved in the next Bond flick. BMW made a big push in the Pierce Brosnan Bond films by having Bond's high tech, fully equipped car be the stage for their latest release. Thanks to "Q", the car was cooler than than even BMW could imagine.Walking to work this morning saw a giant Omega watch ad featuring James Bond (Daniel Craig). Looks like they were able to cut a deal and have Bond use their watch to freeze dry chicken, harpoon marlins and blend a margarita (See Below). Publicity publicity publicity. Now to the feature of this post: Sony Ericsson were able to make their new C902 Titanium Silver Cyber-shot phone James Bond's choice for mobile in Quantum of Solace, in U.S. theaters November 14th. Rather than rest on their laurels, Sony Ericsson has decided to not let the movies popularity be the sole purpose of this engagement. Instead they have created a content-rich microsite offering users “Directive C902”, an interactive movie that puts the player’s secret agent skills to test in four separate missions."Designed to show off the phone’s features and functions, the movies have been filmed in the style of a spy thriller, and every time a player completes a level they unlock an exclusive phone application as well as gaining access to the next level of the game.The applications up for grabs – which are all fake but made to look real to the unsuspected onlooker - include a fingerprint scanner, an x-ray viewer and a universal detector.A wireless spy cam, which allows users to set their phone up to take photos at regular intervals for a set period of time, is also unlocked when different levels of the game are completed.The campaign is running in 42 countries and anyone can play the games online, regardless of whether they have a Sony Ericsson phone, but when each level is completed and the option is offered to download the spy-themed application, only Sony Ericsson handset-owners will be able to take advantage.When all levels are completed, users can enter to win a VIP trip to Monte Carlo. The website also hosts the Quantum of Solace trailer and information on Sony Ericsson phones."To check out what Sony Ericsson has put together, click here and test your spy skills. [...]

Global Reactions to Obama's Election Victory


Thanks to The Caucus, the New York Times' politics blog, you can read people's reactions from around the world reagrding Barack Obama's historic presidential election victory last night. Have a look here at what the people from countries beyond are saying.

Guinness Goes Mobile in Hong Kong


Hong Kong must be a mobile hotbed because it seems brands and agencies alike are really trying to reach this market. I did a post a couple of months ago called "Nike Uses Emerging Media in Hong Kong". Now we have a new brand stepping up to the mobile Hong Kong plate, Guinness.Brands increasingly want to offer consumers a service and this mobile application does exactly that by helping rugby fans have a good time in Hong Kong: "When 20,000 overseas rugby fans descended on Honk Kong for the 2008 Sevens tournament, official sponsor Guinness did more than rely on pitch-side branding and stadium beer tents for its PR. The drinks giant instead developed software for mobile phones that was designed to assist foreigners as they travelled round the city, watching matches and enjoying the attractions on offer. The Guinness Passport to Greatness was an application that could be downloaded from websites, WAP-sites and by texting an SMS shortcode, and in return offered all manner of information on the tournament, from team pools and fixtures to stadium directions and the nearest Guinness outlet. But the selling point of the application was the Cantonese-speaking feature that allowed users to enter questions or the names of tourist hotspots and then get the phone to “speak” to locals in their native language. Passers-by could be stopped and asked, for example, where the nearest ATM was, and taxi-drivers could be played a recording of the name and address of a bar or restaurant and so deliver their passenger efficiently. More than 100 popular phrases were pre-programmed into the phone, allowing users to do everything from order beer to chat up pretty ladies. Users were driven to download the application via a competition to win Sevens tickets, which was spread virally online through the Hong Kong RFU and this was supported with a targeted email blast and international PR activity. The Passport to Greatness application was downloaded thousands of times and resulted in a 30% increase in Guinness sales for the month, compared to the previous year. It also won the brand extensive free publicity." This was all put together via brand owners Diagio along with Ogilvy. [...]

The Sad Broker Blog


(image) Check out this blog deemed The Brokers With Hands On Their Faces to see the reactions of those on the front lines of our national economic meltdown. Looks like they could use a hug.