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Preview: Divergent Dance

Divergent Dance

Reflections and ramblings of a queer & kinky tomboy femme.

Updated: 2018-03-05T19:35:04.256-08:00


Goodbye Blogger


Please take note: my blog has been moved and henceforth all new posts can be found here: Please update your bookmarks, links, blogrolls, and wherever else this change may apply.

Thanks, and... see ya on the flipside.

Captain Obvious says, "Poly Is Hard!"


So… I’m not even sure where to start. The main thought knocking through my head right now is: poly is HARD. (Cue some of you nodding your heads in sympathetic agreement. And maybe some of you rolling your eyes and smacking me upside the back of the head whilst shouting, “Duh!”) But here’s the kicker. As difficult as any type of polyamory is to maintain, throwing long distance into the mix is like throwing a wrench into gears that are already a little rusty.

There are so many issues that couples can have that a little face to face time and even just physical contact can go a long way towards healing. And being involved in more than one relationship means dealing with more of these issues than are typically present in just one monogamous relationship. But of course with LDRs that face to face time and physical contact happens sporadically at best, so essentially the equation boils down to facing more issues and having fewer opportunities with which to solve them.

Please, tell me I’m not the only person who thinks this is screwed up.

But then at the same time, did I not essentially ask for this? Was I not fully aware of these potential problems when I entered into a long distance, secondary relationship? I certainly wasn’t clueless.

Of course, having even a theoretical clue doesn’t ease the frustration, or the hurt, or the days and nights I feel like an absolute shell of a person due to these things.

Funnily enough these issues have been largely worked out. We’ve talked. We’ve settled on some things that should go a long way towards helping both of us cope with the aforementioned frustration. The difficulty of long distance polyamory is still there, and I sure as hell could still use a hug, but the continual fighting towards what were essentially unrealistic hopes and expectations I feel has been quelled.

I believe this is why I can think clearly about the topic for once and even write coherently about it without breaking down into a seeping, quivering pool of messy emotions. Which is good. Those stains are terribly hard to get out of the carpet.

Review: Mr Right Packing Strap


Mr Right Packing StrapWelcome to the Babeland-sponsored review of Aslan Leather’s Mr Right Packing Strap. This review is going to be a bit different in that it is largely produced by my partner Emmett, a FtM transsexual and the reason I requested this product to review.Objective:The Mr Right Packing Strap is really a pretty simple contraption. It consists of a thicker elastic band to go around the hips of the wearer with a pouch made of leather and thinner elastic strips that rests directly over the groin. The leather, as with any Aslan product, is top notch and buttery soft. This product is made specifically for the Mr Right soft-pack cock, which incidentally is the cock with which Emmett chooses to pack. The pouch is made so that the balls rest behind the smaller elastic straps and in front of the leather backing, and the shaft of the penis hangs free.Now, I was sent the size medium which is meant to fit hip sizes 34 – 38”, but my voluptuous femme hips are roughly 46” inches around and when I tried the harness on it fit me perfectly, even through the sit-down test. So perhaps that’s something to keep in mind: if you want this harness, get the next size down for optimal snugness to avoid riding up when you move around or sit down.Subjective:Even before Emmett tried out this harness I could see one advantage: with the leather backing acting as a barrier between the balls of the packer and the skin of the wearer, the packing cock is less likely to acquire the funky smell that is a rather unpleasant combination of silicone and old sweat—the smell that seems to accumulate no matter how clean the cock is kept. But this is only my theoretical advantage; the rest will come from Emmett actually trying out the harness; thus I surrender the stage.Unfortunately, reports Em, this advantage is really the only one the Mr Right Packing Strap has. Otherwise it is unfortunately a dud in that the hip strap rode up (which, as mentioned before, may be cured by getting a smaller size) and that the leather backing of the pouch was just wide enough to not sit right and chafe his thighs.Another problem Em noticed particularly with the pairing of the Strap and his long cut breast binder was that when sitting, the otherwise loose-enough-to-ride up strap would cut into his lower abdomen and the crease between torso and thigh. This may not happen if the individual were wearing a shorter cut binder, but in this case he says it was rather uncomfortable to the point where he had to lean back to alleviate the discomfort.Conclusion:In the end I have to say that it is very heartening that companies are taking genderqueer and trans-needs into consideration and creating products that fit a specific need such as this. It goes to show that Babeland really is one of the most progressive and forward thinking sex toy companies out there. With a few tweaks the idea of the Mr Right Packing Strap could be more workable but as it is, it’s a little too awkward to be the first thing Emmett reaches for with the purpose of keeping his packing cock safely ensconced in his briefs. We both look forward to seeing further developments in the area of packing accessories.[...]

Microfantasy Monday - Breathing


Thanks as always to my homegurl Ang the Sweltering Celt for the theme! (Hahahahaha I can't believe I just used the term "homegurl.")

Strong fingers surrounded her throat, fingertips pressing into the wall behind her as the muscles in the palm clenched, severing her breath as cleanly as a hot knife through soft butter. Her toes scrambled for purchase against the slats of the wood floor, suddenly so much slicker than it had ever felt under her whole, balanced foot.

A soft voice murmured into her ear, dirty and nasty and delicious, the tiny caresses of air from between hot lips gliding over the delicate curves of her outer ear and arrowing straight to her wet, waiting, wanting cunt.

The twin of the strong hand around her throat found its way to that which wanted and pressed, stroked, evoked until every fiber of her being longed to gasp, moan, scream but still her breath was obstructed and just when she thought she was about to pass out oh god fall limp against the body in front of her that pressed her up against the wall no air can’t breathe oh god OH GOD—

The hand released. The breath whooshed. The vocal chords rang. And she came.

HNT: Whipped


So the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a a bit of a bust as an impact tool, but it makes quite the artistic decoration!

Click through for a pic of me all turned around... :D

Happy HNT!


Review: Red Mini Rubber Whip


Red Mini Rubber WhipObjective:I’m always looking to expand my repertoire of BDSM-flavored toys so when the Red Mini Rubber Whip came up at Babeland to be reviewed, naturally I signed up right away. And… well, this little spaghetti-noodle flogger is certainly mini! By my measurements, 9 ½ inches in total length (although the tag did say 10" so make of that what you will), about 6 inches of that being the actual tails. It is definitely a petite toy.The product is comprised of thin, noodle-like rubber strands with clear plastic and two large black beads bundling the first 3 ½ inches into a somewhat flexible handle that is topped by a convenient cloth wrist strap. (Did you know that often times the wrist strap itself can be just as fun as the part of the toy intended for impact play? No? Try it!) Certainly a no-frills design, but I’m no stickler for having all my toys be intricate works of art so no big deal there.Being made of rubber, this toy is not sterilizable but is able to be cleaned with soap and warm water. Caution is advised if any fluids are on or around the site(s) of impact. Just be smart, hmm?Subjective:The (very) small size and light weight of the Red Mini Rubber Whip make it ideal for sting factor. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that this toy was bred, born and raised to be stingy. I could not get this toy to be thuddy. Em could not get this toy to be thuddy. There is very little chance that this toy will be thuddy. And toys with a specific purpose are certainly not flawed. The flaw, at least in my opinion is that this toy is SO stingy that it crosses right over the line into itchy. Flicked lightly or swung full force, the whippy impact soon morphed into a not-altogether-pleasant itchy tingling sensation that left me scratching at wherever the flogger hit. This could be ideal for the Top/Dominant who likes to drive his/her/zir bottom/submissive a little batty, but for me… no cigar.I was also a little uncomfortable with just how small this flogger is. I couldn’t get a good grip on the handle because there was too much overlap of my fingers and palm. This may mean that the Mini Whip would be comfortable for someone with more petite hands, but petite hands I do not have.However! It did feel pretty good when used as a sensation toy; the strands felt great when run over my skin. They feel smooth, rather cool and very pleasant.Also, my dog loves this toy. He goes absolutely wild when I flick it at him, and tries to attack it like he attacks his squeaky toys. I think this counts as off-label use, though. That and my dog is a little weird.Conclusion:No bones about it, the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a bust for me as an impact toy. I do however hold out hope that this may be a better match for somebody with different circumstances; I also think that perhaps one of Babeland’s larger rubber whips might work better for me so I’m not writing them off entirely. And hey, there’s always room in my toybox for more sensation play items.[...]

Life or Something Like It


I feel that my blog has already shriveled to an existence defined only by MFMs, HNTs and reviews. And yet at the same time I'm not entirely sure I have much to say. Life is life as usual. I work an entirely unsexy job, I pay entirely unsexy bills and I clean up entirely unsexy pet stains. Should I even be writing a blog based on a sexy life I don't feel like I have right now? Heheh.

I went to a party amongst kinky friends a couple of weeks ago, and a munch not long after that, and yet I still feel stuck in a state of stasis when it comes to my kink life. Nothing much has happened since then, be it due to the busy lives of the local kinksters or maybe I'm getting shut out; I don't know. I haven't brought out my implements of BDSM in ages. My poor flogger probably thinks I hate it. I'm surprised nobody's called the Rescue for Neglected Sex and Kink Toys yet. I should be brought up before the committee.

My sex drive is still alive but often it's overwhelmed by a sheer need for sleep. Even then, though, my sleep is disturbed by dreams that leave me feeling even more tired when I wake and uneasy on top of that.

Maybe all of these are just lame excuses for not being the fullest person I can be. But then maybe when life gets a little derailed, things of a sexual and/or kinky nature are the first to be overlooked and overshadowed.

All I know is, I want my sexy back.

HNT: Topper


Because who can resist playing with a fun new prop?

Click through to see pic number two..

And hell, because I'm feeling generous, click again to see a bonus pic.

Happy HNT!


Review: Laya Spot


Welcome to my first Babeland-sponsored review! I’m pretty excited. For my first product, I was sent the Laya Spot by Fun Factory. So here goes.Objective:This little ergonomically-designed clit vibe is roughly fit-in-your-palm sized, made of elastomer and hard plastic (elastomer being placed, of course, where the toy will make contact with the sensitive bits) and requires two AAA batteries, not included.This little bad boy comes in a variety of colors, selection of which being at the mercy of your friendly Babeland packager. Whoever loaded up my box must have been psychic because mine is in a very pretty lime green elastomer with shimmery purple hard plastic accents. GREEN! Hooray!The Laya Spot is very user friendly, requiring only the push-and-hold of the plus button on the top of the toy to turn on. It starts at the lowest speed which is barely a rumble, but you’ll know it’s on because the plus button lights up red. Then to cycle through the nine steady vibe strengths, you just keep hitting the plus button. Once you’re at the strongest vibe, push and hold the plus button again to cycle through the three pulse vibe settings. Hit the minus button to return to the strongest steady vibe setting, then just keep hitting the minus button to cycle back through the steady vibe strengths and finally to turn off. Not the quickest method of turning off a toy (therefore not conducive to a quick turn-off if needed to avoid awkward situations) but certainly not difficult to figure out.Being made of elastomer, the Laya Spot is able to be cleaned with mild soap and water, but is not sterilizable due to its slightly porous nature. Use condoms if you want to share. Battery insertion/removal is very easy; just twist the hard plastic cap at the end (righty tighty lefty loosey) and insert your two AAA batteries according to the diagram next to the battery compartment.Subjective (or My Thoughts):My first observation upon turning on the Laya Spot is that it is a relatively quiet toy. It’s not something you’re going to get away with if, say, you have a roommate on the top bunk, but it’s definitely doable if you have your own room and can shut the door. Really quite discreet. Also very purse-friendly, assuming you’re not carrying a tiny clutch or something.As for the actual use of the Laya Spot… it is both a fail and a win. Where the Laya Spot fails is, funnily enough, in its intended use. From what I gather, the Laya Spot is intended to be nestled over the pubic bone so that the flat underside of the head is nestled against the clit; thus it administers its vibrations and (supposedly) brings one to orgasm. Well, this did not happen. For one, the Laya Spot did not nestle at all. Once I did finally manage to get it to stay put over my pubic bone without sliding right off, the vibe even at its strongest was not enough to bring me to orgasm by just lying against my clit. Sensitive though my clit may be, I need pressure and movement as well as the vibration to get me off.Howwwww-ever. When the Laya Spot is held in the hand (either in my hand or in the hand of a partner) and pressure/movement is applied in conjunction with the vibration… ohhhh yeahhhh. That's where it's at. Used in such a way, this little baby gets me off VERY well. I love that the underside of the business end is wider and flatter so I don’t feel like my clit is being poked at with sharp objects. The very tip of the toy IS a bit tapered though, so it can deliver more pinpointed vibrations if that’s what you need. It’s really quite versatile when used in this manner.As for the strength of the vibe: well, if you’re hooked to your Hitachi, this little thing may not be strong enough for you. But if you’re looking for something more in the middle of the spectrum, the strength of this vibe is perfect. And the various speeds – plus the pulses [...]

HNT: Teeth Marks


...But not the teeth in someone's mouth. No, these would be a different set of teeth.

Click through to see what made those marks!**

Happy HNT!


**If you hadn't guessed, what's attached to my nipple is the clip to a phone headset, the clip that attaches the cord to your shirt so you don't get all tangled. Yes, I am now perverting my office supplies. Gotta make being a desk monkey at least somewhat interesting, right?

Microfantasy Monday - Sound


Thanks as always to Ang the Sweltering Celt for the weekly micro-inspiration!

It’s a rumble in the ear, or perhaps a soft hiss punctuating the silence. A guttural growl piercing through the darkness or a low moan reverberating through the bones.

It’s the rustling of cotton sheets being twisted and tangled underneath the slap and whisper of skin, and the creak of bemused bedsprings, the thunk of bone against wall and the accompanying chuckle being swallowed by groaning lips.

It’s floating, floundering, drowning and the discovery of being able to breathe underneath the waves, of finding a second home in that which once was unknown and uncharted.

It’s you. And it’s me. A symphony.

HNT: Beating the System? Not So Much.


More like the system is beating me. Or at least, my faulty BC pills are. And so, a little well-earned sentiment aimed at the pills that are not doing ANYTHING they're supposed to be doing.

Happy HNT? More like frustrated HNT. But, as so many bumps in the road have done before, this too shall pass.

This PSA Brought to You by a Happy Cunt


As well educated women, most of us know at least the fundamentals about our own genital health. Watch out for abnormal discharge, don’t douche, do pee after sex, don’t overwash because the vagina is a self-cleaning organ, so on and so forth. I knew and (I thought) observed all of these things. So it was discouraging to me why I kept having issues with my *lady health* when I was doing nothing to warrant it.

And then I found out a little more about vaginal pH and its contribution to female gynecological health. See, the female vagina maintains a slightly acidic state (between 3.8 and 4.5 whereas 7 is neutral and a highly alkaline or basic product, bleach, is around 12.5) which helps the good bacteria flourish and keep things functioning in there. When that pH balance is disturbed, the vagina loses its first defense—the good bacteria—against things like candidiasis and bacterial vaginosis. And most women know what a pain in the ass at least one if not both of those conditions are.

It was my gynecologist who turned me on to this whole vaginal pH thing, and she also turned me on to a product which is supposed to help balance vaginal pH. Unfortunately that product is loaded with glycerin and parabens, so it actually made my issues worse, being highly sensitive to glycerin especially. In any case, being newly introduced to this idea of vaginal pH, I decided to do a little research. I especially wanted to know ways I could keep my vaginal health without having to use any storebought products, especially since such products are apparently fraught with ingredients that were only worsening my problems.

And of course my research told me the usual. Don’t douche, don’t wear a lot of synthetic fabrics, don’t wear tight clothing. The vulva and vagina do not need washed, only rinsed, for the vagina is a self cleansing organ. Okay. Same old same old. But then I found out WHY the vagina and vulva not only do not need washing, but why washing is harmful. The naughty little secret regarding most soaps is that they are actually pretty highly alkaline, with an average pH of 9-10. And therein was my problem.

See, I thought I would be okay giving my vulva—external labia only, not delving into the more internal regions at all—a light wash with very gentle baby soap during my daily shower. (I use baby soap for all of me, not just my vulva, since the rest my of skin is also very sensitive.) I wasn’t washing the sensitive mucous membranes, only the actual skin. I wasn’t scrubbing with a washcloth, only my sudsed up hand. I was rinsing thoroughly. And yet, I was still very wrong because even that little bit was upsetting the balanced environment of my vagina.

So I cut out soap down there entirely. I also managed to find a laundry detergent that advertised being pH neutral. And what do you know… my issues are gone. My vulva and vagina are happy as—dare I say it?—clams.

And when my lady parts are happy, I am happy.

Playing Catchup


Wow, do I ever have a lot to catch up on (that doesn’t have to do with random facts or microfantasies). So let’s start with what’s been taking up the majority of my life lately. And that, actually, revolves largely around Em’s life. Or more specifically, his transitioning.

If you follow his blog then you know that last Thursday the 13th he had his first T shot, and from there it feels like his transitioning has finally merged into the fast lane. We are already starting to notice changes which we found out from another transguy isn’t surprising considering Em’s dose (200mg q 2 wks) is at the high end of a normal trans dose. So far his voice has started to crack and change, he has had increased hair growth on his arms and legs, and definitely an increased libido. (Which I certainly don’t mind because a few things have happened lately to amp up my libido as well!) What I have noticed in ministering to his increased libido is that his clitoris/cock has already started to grow in size just a little bit, and also that it feels harder. It also reacts differently during orgasm, swelling and then pulsing much like the male penis. I noticed this to a certain extent with the female clitoris (both mine and his pre-T) but it’s much more pronounced now.

I must say, I find all these changes fascinating, even above and beyond the normal interest I take in anything to do with my partner. And even more so than the physical changes I am noticing how much happier he is. Every time he notices a new change he gets giddy, and in general he is much less dysphoric. He came out at work recently and that has actually gone quite well, better than either of us expected given that he works with a bunch of very conservative, fundamental types.

So things are on the right track for him. Next up, aside from staying on T and keeping things going smoothly there and with his peers, is saving for top surgery. That’s going to be a bit of a bigger hurdle, but we’ll make it over when the time comes. We always do.

Honesty Scrap


Tag, I’m it! Roxy at Uncommon Curiosity has passed the baton to me, along with nine others, to complete this meme.There are three rules for this award:First, link back to the person who gave you the award: Miss Roxy the Uncommonly Curious.Next, give the award to ten other bloggers:(I’m gonna cheat here a little bit because I don’t know very many bloggers, so if I’m tagging you after someone else already has… just deal with it! It doesn’t mean you have to do the damn thing twice. It just means you’re extra-loved.)Emmett, my partner, for honestly putting up with me.Kyle, my boyfriend, for honestly teaching me about myself.Ashleybird for honestly being one of the sweetest and funniest girls on Twitter.Scarlet the Femme Fagette for honestly introducing me to new gender ideas.Mollena the Perverted Negress for honestly being unashamedly true to herself.Niki, one of my oldest friends and Strawbry Kiwi blogger, for honestly being one of the few people with whom I can be completely myself without judgment.Arron of X-Ray Introductions for honestly being a VERY cool guy to hang with and for getting me into reviewing!Nadia the Kinky Librarian for honestly bringing the brains into kink and being damn sexy whilst doing it.Saintchick for honestly being one of my Twitter gurls and someone who helps keep me in touch with my femme side.Ang the Sweltering Celt for honestly being an amazingly supportive friend and for making me feel understood about being poly.(Whew! I managed it!)Finally, list ten honest things about myself:1) I barely remember what my natural hair color looks like. I know what color it is, but I’m so hooked on trying different hair colors that it hasn’t been natural for a very long time.2) I’m really bad at coming up with quirky, unique but still honest facts about myself because every interesting insight I’ve ever had into myself goes flying out the window in situations like this.3) I have, in the past, won awards for my poetry. (And no, that in no way means I’m ever going to post any on this blog.)4) I absolutely despise talking on the phone. I will text ‘til my fingers are blue but if an actual verbal phone conversation is proposed, I balk like someone asked me to chop off my own right hand. There is only one exception to that rule and he knows very well who he is.5) My toenails are always painted, but my fingernails have been naked since middle school. Originally this was because I started working with animals and there was just no point to having nice nails, but even now that I’m just working a desk job, my fingernails stay bare. I prefer the way my fingernails look unpainted. Oh, and my favorite color to paint my toenails is gold.6) Speaking of gold… I hate yellow gold. All of my jewelry is either white gold, silver, copper, or not metal at all. And even then I so rarely wear jewelry except for the stuff worn in piercings (which is either titanium or glass).7) I have an almost unholy interest in sharps. I love knives, swords, daggers, needle play, piercings—anything to do with very, very sharp objects. They just look and feel so gooooood.8) I have unusually large gaps between all of my toes. Probably because I have insanely wide feet. And yes, this makes it a larger than normal pain in the ass to shop for shoes, especially cute/sexy ones. It does, however, make it VERY easy to shop for Chucks, which are the Ultimate Shoe. Currently I have more pairs of Chucks than days in the week: dark blue, embroidered green high top, lime green laceless, black and pink, pink, orange, black and red high top and Christmasy candy-striped.9) Why yes, I DO have a very stream-of-consciousness type of mind that leads m[...]

Microfantasy Monday - Hands


Thanks to Ang the Sweltering Celt as always for the weekly themes! (And sorry, yes, I'm late. Ten lashes for the bad blogger.)

I know exactly where I like hands to be on me. Taking a firm grip on the back of my neck, a few fingers through my hair, a palm gliding up my leg, seeking fingertips thrumming in deliciously sensitive areas… yeah, I know where I like to be touched.

Other people’s spots, though, are usually more of a mystery—a delightfully tricky riddle to be solved. A meandering finger around the rim of an ear perhaps, or even a casual drape of the palm over a knee. Or, I was pleasantly surprised to discover, a gentle, unconsciously placed hand on the small of the back, sending the mind to a screeching halt and decadent shivers down the spine. Yeah, he knows where he likes to be touched.

And now, so do I.

Microfantasy Monday - Exhibitionism


Thanks as always to Ang over at Sweltering Celt for the MFM inspiration!

The sun shone merrily down on the group of people mingling among the clusters of brilliant flowers and verdant foliage, causing many to squint or use hands to shade eyes as they meandered their way through the garden party.

She had come prepared, settling her favorite pair of cat-eyed, tortoiseshell sunglasses on her nose before recrossing her ankles below the flowing hem of her silky skirt. Dispassionately she scanned the crowd before her eyes settled on just one, the only other one apart, slouching casually in faded jeans and a blazer under the shade of a mulberry tree. The corner of her mouth quirked minutely as she realized he was watching her. A single eyebrow arched above the rim of her sunglasses, widening his smirk to a full smile, one that hinted at mischief. As she watched him, his head cocked slightly to the left, his eyes flicking quickly in the same direction—behind the garden shed. An indication. Come with me.

Teasingly she pursed her lips, as though to give a moment of thought to the unspoken invitation. Then, slowly, she rose, brushing out her skirt and slinging her purse over one shoulder casually—just a woman heading to the ladies’ room, or to get another of the mimosas offered at the buffet table. Unhurried, she made her way to the shed just to the far side of the mulberry tree, her face not turning toward the loiterer under its leaves but the upturn of her lips as she passed giving all the answer that was needed. Nonchalant, he pushed himself off the trunk of the tree and followed her.

A muffled thump as her purse hit the ground. A much more audible thump as her back hit the side of the shed. Heads turned. Eyebrows raised. Voices murmured. But behind the shed, that shady, cool, damp patch of grass had transformed into its own universe.

All else be damned.

The New Man in Town


So if you’ve made it over to my little shadowed, cobwebbed corner of the Internet, likely you found it through the blog of another. Specifically, the blog of my new boyfriend, Kyle.

Yeah, I had to stop and read that again myself. Wow.

I mean… this is something I never expected would happen. I’m generally not one for online relationships, although to be fair the real meat of our relationship (versus our flirting) happened after we met in person, in Portland. Remember that series of posts? Oh yeah. That was the turning point.

So, most of you know Kyle on Twitter as the swaggering, wickedly grinning ladies’ man, complete with harem. And yeah, I gotta say that cocky confidence is what drew me in at first. But then I got to know the guy and he is so, so much more than that. And we have more in common than I have ever had with any other person, from life philosophy to favorite flower and drink of choice. And despite the attitude, when the situation calls for it Kyle is amazingly supportive and understanding—really a guy to have in your corner.

Of course, things aren’t always peaches and cream. We’re both polyamorous and both of us have other relationships, which always throws a few wrenches into the gears especially at first, before things get settled into an agreeable dynamic for all involved. But he’s worth the struggle; the love I have in me for him is worth all of it.

I don’t know what I did in this life or in past lives to deserve all this love, but between the love I have received from Emmett these past two-plus years and the newfound love of this tenacious-yet-tender cowboy… well, it promises to never be a dull ride. And roller coaster freak that I am, I am more than ready to get started.



At what point does flying become falling?

HNT: Inadvertent Marks


Oh look, I finally have an HNT pic to contribute! Legs seems to be a bit of an unofficial theme for this one, and coincidentally I happened to get this mark on my leg from my laptop - although it does look a little like the marks from someone's belt!

Click through to see the far end of my leg... and who makes an excellent footrest.



Is this how a skydiver feels, suited up and strapped with parachutes, poised on the edge of the open hatch, feeling the wind rush by as she waits for the okay to jump?

Please, please, tell me to jump. To fly.

I’ve never skydived (yet) but this is how I feel: poised on the edge of new and greater things, ready to jump in and test out the waters. Rarely do I dip my toe before just diving in. The real excitement lies in the danger of the unknown—exploring the depths with little other barriers than quick wits and quick reflexes, not knowing what hides beyond the next rise. The real excitement lies in testing how long I can hold my breath before my vision darkens and my ears ring.

The real excitement lies in not knowing fully what’s going to happen next, but being ready for it anyway.

I am ready.

Review: Gun Oil H2O Lubricant



One of the first lubes I ever bought was WET Original, and because it worked well enough I just stuck with it. Not long ago, though, after a weekend out of town in which really good sex was thwarted by a lack of lube, I decided to go get a bunch of wee lube packets not only for portability (because really, the thought of carrying around a potentially leaky bottle of lube in my duffel bag just did not appeal, not even in a plastic baggie) but also to broaden my horizons and see if maybe there wasn’t something better out there.

Well, my friends, there is. Of course, most of you probably already know this, but hey, humor me in my newfound enlightenment.

Meet Gun Oil H2O, the first guinea pig in my Lube Experiment. Gun Oil H2O is a water-based, glycerin-free, hypoallergenic lube made by Empowered Products, so it’s good for silicone toys and good for more sensitive bits. This is good for me because my bits are more sensitive, and I believe that the glycerin in WET Original was actually irritating me down there quite a bit. (Of course, I would like to point out that WET has both a silicone lube and a Naturals line that is glycerin- and paraben-free, so I’m not discounting them entirely.)

Okay, so aside from the gentler nature of the Gun Oil H2O, and aside from the totally awesome name that originally drew me to the product, there were two things I noticed first and loved about the lube. The first is that it’s a little bit thicker, so it stays where it’s put instead of dripping all over the place. The second great thing is that it lasts longer so I do not constantly have to reapply, which has been a really annoying problem in the past.

So really, this lube does quite well for me. It satisfies my three requirements: it does not irritate my poor, sensitive cunt; it does not drip and run everywhere; it lasts longer. Definitely a lube I will reach for in the future when silicone toys are involved and even when they are not.




There’s something else that’s new in my life: sex.

Ha! No, not that the sex itself is new in my life, silly… but it almost feels that way because my sex life has evolved to a point where I hardly even recognize the awkward prototype it was before. I feel like I’m really (pardon the pun here) coming into myself and awakening to a point where I can really embrace being a sexual being. It’s… intense, and exhilarating.

See, here’s the thing, and here’s where I’m going to be painfully, brutally honest about myself. Up to this point, my sexuality has been almost entirely in my head. It wasn’t often that my sexuality, my horniness, transferred to an actual physical desire for sex. It was disheartening, to say the least. I think there are several factors that were involved in this, but foremost among them was that I was complacent in this rut and unwilling to expend the effort getting out of it.

But y’know, when your life is turned topsy-turvy by new developments and new involvements, it’s impossible to stay in a rut of any sort. And so, I was freed from this one. (Of course, it also helps a LOT when multiple people are teasing you so mercilessly that your mental horniness can’t help but boil over into a fierce physical longing.)

And like I said, it’s exhilarating. Liberating. I feel almost freed from the confines of my own body, although it’s probably more like being freed from the strictures of my mind. I am outside myself, and it’s amazing.

Call me a sentimental dork, but I feel like I’m breaking into the dawn of a new era in my life, somewhere overwhelmingly enlightening and progressive. I’m eager to see it through.



Yeah, I'm not ripping off clothes and taking pics, but this is an HNT of sorts: it's a baring of my inner mind. In a way far more vulnerable than my unclothed body.


My neck is screaming. Eyes, straining as the muscles in control threaten to give in to uncontrollable spasms. But I can only stumble blindly forward, face tilted to the heavens (hells?) in search of guidance—any sign, any hint, any hope.

Clouds swirl like clutching vines around my weary feet as the dull brick walls, twisting and turning, hover just out of reach above me—no solid path to follow, just stubborn perseverance and exhausted automation.

Suddenly, from nowhere, the mist coalesces and I stumble, falling to my knees in the skies then rolling, defeated, to my back: the condemned soldier. My head lolls from side to side and my breath pitches forward in humble mimicry of body’s fall. Horror, sheer and raw, threatens to overpower me, reducing my will to nothing more than the mewling of a starving kitten as it chases the ever-retreating teat.


Meeting a Like Mind


So this past Sunday I got the pleasure of meeting up with a fellow Tweeter, poly kinkster and sex blogger: Ang the Sweltering Celt. It just so happened she was stopping by my little area of the world for breakfast before heading back to her own place, so naturally we took the opportunity to meet up and hang out.

Let me tell you, folks, there is really nothing better than meeting up with someone you’ve talked with for a while only to find out that they are even more awesome in person than they are online. M and I also got to meet at the same time one of the husbands, RangerMonkey, which was a very entertaining experience. I don’t think I’ve laughed so continuously for a long time.

I just can’t say how much I love it when I get to meet new people and convert them from “e-friends” to real-time friends. They’re real, in the flesh! All the little details and quirks that are missing from Internet interaction are all there in glorious reality, filling out the experience into a multidimensional encounter.

Yeah, that totally has to happen again. There is too little distance and too much in common between us for me to let it all slip through my fingers.

Thanks again Ang and RangerMonkey! Glad I woke up in time to get your DM!