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Preview: The Skull Cave

The Skull Cave

Updated: 2014-10-04T22:26:11.024-07:00


Adult Swim. 'Nuff said.


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It's True


You know, I never quite thought about it this way, but this video makes a really good point.

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Kung Poo @ Yahoo! Video

Chief Brody on a Killing Spree


The fact that someone took the time to make this, makes me laugh even more :)

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I would have double bagged it.


Classic Mastercard commercial with Brett Favre. Priceless!!!
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The Matrix runs on Windows


This cracked me the hell up!!!



Make with the funny!!!


Now I'm all about the funny. I don't care how stupid or gross something is as long as I get a chuckle out of it. Hence, my love of The Three Stooges (Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk). So the other day I was trying to think of a funny movie to watch. One I haven't watched in a while. One that would make me laugh out loud. One with vomiting puppets and sex. Oh, I know...
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"I used to be a salesman. It's a tough racket."


I've been working behind the scenes on a new post but it's taken me longer to finish than I expected. In the meantime, let's touch on some current events. In light of recent economic catastrophes, I've been asked to do some outside sales to justify my existence at work. So naturally the first thing I thought of was Alec Baldwin's 'inspiring' sales speech in Glengarry Glen Ross. I don't know about you, but it sure makes me want to sell my ass off.

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The 6 Circles of Hangover Hell


1st Circle: The Ducked Bullet No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep was deep and all those carbo-loaded beers have gifted you with a week’s worth of misplaced energy. During lunch you torture your less fortunate coworkers, bragging about how you can pound booze all night, drink warm gin out of a dirty ashtray for breakfast, and still show up fifteen minutes early for work. You crave a steak sub and a side of gravy fries. 2nd Circle: The Thirsty Mongoloid No real pain, but something is definitely amiss. You look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. You are definitely dehydrated and after drinking two Gatorades you still feel that way. You feel kinda dumb and you notice the temporary lowering of your IQ has made you more sociable and less concerned with workaday worries. You crave a fruity pancake from IHOP. 3rd Circle: The Headwound That Won’t Heal Slight headache. Stomach is upset. You are definitely not the paradigm of a productive worker. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the warm gin shots you did at your friend’s apartment after the bouncer ejected you at 1:45 a.m. Memories of bad behavior seep in and you cringe with shame. Life would be much, much better if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching Hogan’s Heroes reruns. You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three iced teas and a diet coke and you haven't peed once. 4th Circle: The Hunchback of Cheap Champagne You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you’ll punctuate your sentences with vomit. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and reeking of booze. The clothes you put on won’t win you any fashion awards and your face looks like a golf green mowed by a blind junkie (ladies, it looks like you applied your make-up with a shotgun). Your eyes are red enough to give your features a lizardish cast and your hair makes your coworkers ask if you’re starting up a new wave band. You vaguely remember doing some really dumb and embarrassing things last night and you don’t care. You would murder your favorite bartender for a foot-long Bratwurst smothered with dijon and fried onions. 5th Circle: Dr. Kevorkian’s Dream Date You don’t feel human, you don’t even feel like a mammal. Your long morning shower didn’t take, no amount of soap could penetrate the coat of sleaze. You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employees sitting near you. You’re getting drunk from the vodka vapors seeping from every pore. You still have toothpaste crust in the [...]

25 Most Awesome Horror Kills


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I wanna buy this guy a beer!


So I'm eating lunch and bouncing around the internet when I find Shepard Smith. Guy has a little bit of a potty mouth.

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McCain's Brain #1


A little busy today, but I wanted to share this tiny tidbit of humor with you.

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Clowns Ain't So Bad


So I was sitting around the Skull Cave the other day and a thought occurred to me: Clowns are f'ing scary. Now, I'm not quite sure why that is. Is it because they have the potential to be the stuff of nightmares? Is it knowing that anyone can be lurking under the painted face and big red nose (a la John Wayne Gacy)? Is it because a roaming gang of biker clowns killed my parents? Who knows. What I do know is that I'm here to offer proof that clowns ain't so bad.

Example #1: Clowns can be SEXY!!!
Now imagine the possibilities with these two. Not only could you literally have a few laughs but just imagine that little squeaky-toy noise popping up every time you touched a naughty part. Think about all of the whipped cream nonsense you could possibly handle. Sounds like fun doesn't it? There's a circus tent in my pants just thinking about it.

Example #2: Clowns are mortal.
Now think about this poor bastard when you've had a bad day at work. I'm sure this guy is looking down from clown heaven thinking, "Did they really have to wear all that crap to my goddamn funeral? They couldn't drop the clown routine for one freakin' afternoon? Thanks a lot guys! The seventh level of hell waits for all of you!". It still brings a smile to my face.

Example #3: Clowns need love too.
Deep down, below their chilling, macabre, grease-painted facades, all a clown really craves is love. Just like any normal human being. To be touched and to touch in return; to be able to come home to that special someone after a long day of kids parties and elephant poop; to get crammed into really tiny cars with dozens of his creepy clown cohorts; to have pies and knives hurled at him while he crazily spins on a giant wheel; to silently slither into your room at night and...

Man, they're creepy!

Palin 'tapped' for V.P.


Now, I'm not a big fan of politics or politicians in general. I am however, a big fan of porn. So God bless the people over at Hustler Video for helping me see politics in a whole new light. If you haven't heard, it's called "Who's Nailin' Paylin - Adventures of a Hockey MILF" and it looks fantastic. I'd like to filibuster her with my caucus if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more...).



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